Subject: RE: BS: Crud - What's it good for? From: John MacKenzie Date: 13 May 08 - 07:36 AM What gravity, he hasn't a carie in the world. Fangs very much. G |
Subject: RE: BS: Crud - What's it good for? From: Mr Red Date: 13 May 08 - 04:53 AM gravity with cavity? |
Subject: RE: BS: Crud - What's it good for? From: GUEST,Chief Chaos Date: 12 May 08 - 07:28 PM "nine tenths of everything is crud" "And the tenth tenth doesn't matter!" 9 out of ten dentists agree! wait a minute... |
Subject: RE: BS: Crud - What's it good for? From: Little Hawk Date: 12 May 08 - 08:31 AM And the tenth tenth doesn't matter! |
Subject: RE: BS: Crud - What's it good for? From: Mr Red Date: 12 May 08 - 08:12 AM crud is useful for pontificating. Witness - Sturgeon's Rule: nine tenths of everything is crud |
Subject: RE: BS: Crud - What's it good for? From: Gurney Date: 12 May 08 - 02:14 AM Your case is coming up, LH? When did you eat it? |
Subject: RE: BS: Crud - What's it good for? From: gnu Date: 11 May 08 - 07:32 PM Wel, if ya need a liar to get him out long enough to appear.... |
Subject: RE: BS: Crud - What's it good for? From: Little Hawk Date: 11 May 08 - 07:25 PM I was hoping to get Ricky from the Trailer Park Boys to appear as a witness on my behalf... |
Subject: RE: BS: Crud - What's it good for? From: gnu Date: 11 May 08 - 04:54 PM I hope you have a good liar, LH. I could... well, Dale and Johnny and... PM me if ya need... anything eh? |
Subject: RE: BS: Crud - What's it good for? From: Little Hawk Date: 11 May 08 - 04:45 PM My case will be coming up on the 30th, gnu... ;-) |
Subject: RE: BS: Crud - What's it good for? From: gnu Date: 11 May 08 - 04:43 PM I dunno. Fire up the bong and give us a hit and we'll talk... maybe, if we can. |
Subject: RE: BS: Crud - What's it good for? From: GUEST,Edt T Date: 11 May 08 - 04:39 PM What is the street value of a gram of Jamacian triple filtered, 12 oak barrel aged gold XVSO crud? |
Subject: RE: BS: Crud - What's it good for? From: gnu Date: 11 May 08 - 04:37 PM Er, ah, I rest on LH's case. Not that... nevermind. |
Subject: RE: BS: Crud - What's it good for? From: GUEST,Chief Chaos Date: 11 May 08 - 04:25 PM Go ahead Giok, you can say it: Aw Crud! |
Subject: RE: BS: Crud - What's it good for? From: gnu Date: 11 May 08 - 01:57 PM No way, man.... ******************************************************************* Subject: RE: BS: Crud - What's it good for? From: gnu - PM Date: 08 May 08 - 03:42 PM Incrudulous! ******************************************************************* I rest LH's case. |
Subject: RE: BS: Crud - What's it good for? From: John MacKenzie Date: 11 May 08 - 01:17 PM That has ruined your street crud, LH. G |
Subject: RE: BS: Crud - What's it good for? From: Little Hawk Date: 11 May 08 - 01:15 PM Only a very crudulous person would believe it. |
Subject: RE: BS: Crud - What's it good for? From: GUEST,Chief Chaos Date: 10 May 08 - 08:03 PM That's Incrudible! |
Subject: RE: BS: Crud - What's it good for? From: GUEST,Edt T Date: 10 May 08 - 06:34 PM Refried crud, maybe. |
Subject: RE: BS: Crud - What's it good for? From: GUEST,Chief Chaos Date: 10 May 08 - 06:26 PM *Groan* "Happiness, is a warm crud!" |
Subject: RE: BS: Crud - What's it good for? From: GUEST,Edt T Date: 10 May 08 - 03:49 PM "happiness is like p*ssing yourself, everyone can see the effect but only you can feel the warmth" - Francesca Thomas |
Subject: RE: BS: Crud - What's it good for? From: GUEST,Ed T Date: 10 May 08 - 03:44 PM Intelligence is like a four-wheel drive. It allows you to get stuck in more remote places.Garrison Keillor |
Subject: RE: BS: Crud - What's it good for? From: gnu Date: 10 May 08 - 02:48 PM That's pretty remote. |
Subject: RE: BS: Crud - What's it good for? From: GUEST,Ed.T Date: 10 May 08 - 02:30 PM Andy (s) crud them all. He may even be remotely post'in here today. |
Subject: RE: BS: Crud - What's it good for? From: gnu Date: 10 May 08 - 12:04 PM Andy... now, there is a man who KNOWS crud. |
Subject: RE: BS: Crud - What's it good for? From: Little Hawk Date: 09 May 08 - 10:59 PM And no soap either according to Andy Kaufmann... |
Subject: RE: BS: Crud - What's it good for? From: John Hardly Date: 09 May 08 - 09:06 PM there are no sinks below the basin dixon line. |
Subject: RE: BS: Crud - What's it good for? From: John Hardly Date: 09 May 08 - 07:48 PM I once saw the influencial Tom Hanks use gunk. Maybe it was Brylcreem. nevermind. |
Subject: RE: BS: Crud - What's it good for? From: John MacKenzie Date: 09 May 08 - 04:50 PM Gunk is available world wide. G |
Subject: RE: BS: Crud - What's it good for? From: John Hardly Date: 09 May 08 - 04:46 PM When did crud replace gunk? What's the matter with kids today? |
Subject: RE: BS: Crud - What's it good for? From: GUEST,There is even a crud drink Date: 09 May 08 - 04:31 PM ASPEN CRUD • 4 oz. milk • 3 oz. bourbon • 3 large scoops vanilla ice cream Whipped cream Mixing instructions: Blend all ingredients, except whipped cream, until thick and creamy (consistency of a thick milk shake). Serve in a chilled Hurricane glass. Top with whipped cream. (Source thats the spirit) |
Subject: RE: BS: Crud - What's it good for? From: John MacKenzie Date: 09 May 08 - 04:20 PM I prefer my oil refined |
Subject: RE: BS: Crud - What's it good for? From: GUEST,Ed T Date: 09 May 08 - 04:12 PM The newer version: GSCRUD Missiles The earlier version were somewhat cruddy. They were fueled by crude oil. |
Subject: RE: BS: Crud - What's it good for? From: John MacKenzie Date: 09 May 08 - 04:06 PM Nah, you're confusing them with scrud missiles. |
Subject: RE: BS: Crud - What's it good for? From: GUEST,Ed.T Date: 09 May 08 - 03:46 PM Can you make urinal mints out of this stuff? Did Soddam shoot crud missiles at Israel? Must take alot of crud to build one of those? Missiles of mass crudruction? |
Subject: RE: BS: Crud - What's it good for? From: gnu Date: 09 May 08 - 03:04 PM You know who is gonna you know what, G. |
Subject: RE: BS: Crud - What's it good for? From: John MacKenzie Date: 09 May 08 - 02:52 PM Just seeing an old friend off to the coast CC. G |
Subject: RE: BS: Crud - What's it good for? From: Chief Chaos Date: 09 May 08 - 01:29 PM "Donated to the national trust" Giok? |
Subject: RE: BS: Crud - What's it good for? From: John MacKenzie Date: 09 May 08 - 07:11 AM I made a deposit this morning, and I don't want it back thanks. G |
Subject: RE: BS: Crud - What's it good for? From: Liz the Squeak Date: 09 May 08 - 06:51 AM Besides, everyone knows that toothpaste is a substitute for spackle (polyfilla to my homeland)... great for filling in those holes where you tacked up pictures, especially in rented accomodation where you want your deposit back but don't want to do any work! LTS |
Subject: RE: BS: Crud - What's it good for? From: Don Firth Date: 08 May 08 - 09:22 PM Bloody brilliant, Giok!! Bilingual pun. Takes a second. Don Firth |
Subject: RE: BS: Crud - What's it good for? From: Gurney Date: 08 May 08 - 09:08 PM Poor John Hardly, his basin gets dry. Is there anything more lonely than a dry basin, or a dry bathmat? There's a song in there, somewhere. Peter Skellern: 'He said, "Never dampen my bathmet again"...' |
Subject: RE: BS: Crud - What's it good for? From: John Hardly Date: 08 May 08 - 08:55 PM excellent idea. I thought I noted the fresh smell of mint as you exited my house. |
Subject: RE: BS: Crud - What's it good for? From: Bee-dubya-ell Date: 08 May 08 - 08:34 PM Making after dinner mints from toothpaste residue is the silliest thing I've ever heard, John. You're supposed to leave the residue in place, fill the sink with water, and wash your underwear in it. |
Subject: RE: BS: Crud - What's it good for? From: John Hardly Date: 08 May 08 - 07:52 PM almost bald, but thoroughly bold. |
Subject: RE: BS: Crud - What's it good for? From: gnu Date: 08 May 08 - 07:15 PM No. I am almost bald. |
Subject: RE: BS: Crud - What's it good for? From: John Hardly Date: 08 May 08 - 07:11 PM You can make after dinner mints by simply saving the little bits of toothpaste that remain in the bottom of the sink each time you brush your teeth. Just wait until they dry and pick them out. Serve them to your special, discerning guests. You do brush, don't you? |
Subject: RE: BS: Crud - What's it good for? From: GUEST,Ed Date: 08 May 08 - 05:07 PM Microwavable Crud Cakes |
Subject: RE: BS: Crud - What's it good for? From: Little Hawk Date: 08 May 08 - 04:18 PM Ah, yes...the local WalMart is where you go for that stuff. |
Subject: RE: BS: Crud - What's it good for? From: GUEST,Ed T Date: 08 May 08 - 04:14 PM Crud is one thing, crap another: NEIL YOUNG LYRICS "Piece Of Crap" Tried to save the trees Bought a platsic bag The bottom fell out It was a piece of crap Saw it on the tube Bought it on the phone Now you're home alone It's a piece of crap I tried to plug in it I tried to turn it on When I got it home It was a piece of crap Got it from a friend On him you can depend I found out in the end It was a piece of crap I'm trying to save the trees I saw it on TV They cut the forest down To build a piece of crap I went back to the store They gave me four more The guy told me at the door It's a piece of crap |
Subject: RE: BS: Crud - What's it good for? From: gnu Date: 08 May 08 - 03:42 PM Incrudulous! |
Subject: RE: BS: Crud - What's it good for? From: fat B****rd Date: 08 May 08 - 03:20 PM Cruds'r'us? |
Subject: RE: BS: Crud - What's it good for? From: John MacKenzie Date: 08 May 08 - 02:03 PM Crud-U-Like |
Subject: RE: BS: Crud - What's it good for? From: gnu Date: 08 May 08 - 02:02 PM They reproduce? Would they be included in a new subphylum... Crudacea? |
Subject: RE: BS: Crud - What's it good for? From: Big Al Whittle Date: 08 May 08 - 01:48 PM Get it to make a folkmusic album. Its very traditional. And I believe in cultural diversity. |
Subject: RE: BS: Crud - What's it good for? From: John MacKenzie Date: 08 May 08 - 12:56 PM So crud is the life of your bain? G |
Subject: RE: BS: Crud - What's it good for? From: Little Hawk Date: 08 May 08 - 12:13 PM Wow. That is just...cosmic. |
Subject: RE: BS: Crud - What's it good for? From: GUEST,Chief Chaos Date: 08 May 08 - 10:52 AM You are all so wrong, so deludedly wrong! Crud is a bathtubs attempt to reproduce! The tub is just budding out and fulfilling it's biological imperative to reproduce! But oh no! The females in our lives figure they'll have to feed and care for another tub so they trick us all into scraping away or dissolving with horrible chemicals the tubs precious reproductive cells! I say Choose Life! Choose Crud! |
Subject: RE: BS: Crud - What's it good for? From: gnu Date: 08 May 08 - 06:43 AM I do not allow crud to form. I collect it before it becomes crud, that it, when it is still scum. Now, scum! Well, that's where the real money is. |
Subject: RE: BS: Crud - What's it good for? From: GUEST,Ed T Date: 08 May 08 - 06:01 AM I caught a silver fish once, using crud for bait. It was a 10 pounder. |
Subject: RE: BS: Crud - What's it good for? From: Gurney Date: 08 May 08 - 04:30 AM Crud(n) is the perfect food for the insect popularly called the silverfish. It stops them eating your books. Save up your crud and donate it to your library! They are sure to be grateful! |
Subject: RE: BS: Crud - What's it good for? From: John MacKenzie Date: 08 May 08 - 04:18 AM Remember as you read this thread, with these erudite contributions, from the oh so sane members of the world wide Mudcat family. G. |
Subject: RE: BS: Crud - What's it good for? From: Bee-dubya-ell Date: 07 May 08 - 11:01 PM Actually, Little Hawk, there are already several entire universes made of crud. The relatively small amount of crud in our own universe is merely seepage from those other universes into ours. There are some who have theorized that this seepage is actually an attempt at communication on the part of the inhabitants of those crud universes. But there are others who say that if some other civilization is trying to communicate with us, and they're leaving their calling cards in our tubs and toilets, they must believe we communicate via our asses, so fuck 'em. |
Subject: RE: BS: Crud - What's it good for? From: Little Hawk Date: 07 May 08 - 08:14 PM I figure that you could fill Yankee Stadium with it, no problem. If California ever gets hit with "the Big One" and falls into the Pacific Ocean, we could rebuild a complete replica of it out of crud, and sell people luxury housing erected on the sides of the majestic crudhills. |
Subject: RE: BS: Crud - What's it good for? From: GUEST,Ed.T Date: 07 May 08 - 07:01 PM Any staticians out in Mudcat land who have done an estimate of the global annual production of crud? |
Subject: RE: BS: Crud - What's it good for? From: RangerSteve Date: 07 May 08 - 06:52 PM crud is an anagram for curd, so why can't it be used for a new product - chesee? or sheece? Something like cheese, but different. Come to think of it, maybe crud is an ingredient in crap like cheez-whiz. |
Subject: RE: BS: Crud - What's it good for? From: GUEST,Ed Date: 07 May 08 - 06:31 PM My cookie must be crud. I am now a guest again. |
Subject: RE: BS: Crud - What's it good for? From: Little Hawk Date: 07 May 08 - 06:27 PM LOL!~ (Spluttering on my keyboard here...) |
Subject: RE: BS: Crud - What's it good for? From: GUEST,Ed.T Date: 07 May 08 - 06:26 PM Form it. Heat it. You could make figurines that could be sold tomtourists, or in Dollar stores. Chinese crud would be more in demand for that, of course. Come to metion in, was it not an ingrediant in "real" chinese food? |
Subject: RE: BS: Crud - What's it good for? From: Little Hawk Date: 07 May 08 - 06:15 PM It's just as I suspected. Crud has so many good uses that it is probably more important than almost any other resource out there, other than fresh water and air. |
Subject: RE: BS: Crud - What's it good for? From: RangerSteve Date: 07 May 08 - 03:51 PM Use it as a thickener in food when you run out of cornstarch. |
Subject: RE: BS: Crud - What's it good for? From: fat B****rd Date: 07 May 08 - 01:19 PM Crud is what it's like before it gets refind. Good post Giok. |
Subject: RE: BS: Crud - What's it good for? From: PoppaGator Date: 07 May 08 - 01:16 PM Crud exists to keep tub-reglazing specialists busy and profitable. Our house is almost a century old (built in 1914), and the cast-iron porcelain-glazed clawfoot bathtub almost certainly dates back to 1914 as well. By the turn of the most-recent century, so much of the porcelain glazing had worn off that the inner surface of the tub had become porous and easily prone to staining. My wife eventually banned the use of all bath salts except plain-white epsom salts, because the other fancier hippy-trippy aromatherapeutic stuff was leaving a nasty-looking green residue that couldn't be scrubbed off. Finally, quite recently, we had the tub reglazed. Now it's shiny and bright white, and much more easily cleaned. The only drawback is that it's much more slippery than before when used as a shower, but we're adjusting. The deterioration of the tub's inner finish can only be blamed on crud ~ either because crud not quickly cleaned off has had a destructive effect over the years, or because the very act of scrubbing the crud away has gradually worn away the surface. Actually, BOTH have probably contributed to the gradual destruction of the porcelain: occasionally leaving crud in place too long, and also the application of elbow grease to remove the crud, whether in a timely manner or after sitting for a whle. Can't win for losing... |
Subject: RE: BS: Crud - What's it good for? From: Bee-dubya-ell Date: 07 May 08 - 01:03 PM The value of crud to studio potters like myself lies in its ability to stick to porcelain. Porcelain clays are notoriously difficult to work with when it comes to joining handles and other attachments to pots. I understand why this is so, but you probably don't. If you'd like a detailed explanation, send a PM to John Hardly. I don't want to be bothered with your idle curiosity. Anyway, an effective porcelain joining slip can be made by pulverizing a mix of 50% dried porcelain clay and 50% dehydrated crud in a mortar and pestle and adding water to the resulting mix until it is of a creamy consistency. Just dip the ends of your handles in the stuff and slap 'em onto the pots. Guaranteed not to come off or develop joining cracks. If you don't use the entire batch, just mix a packet of dehydrated French onion soup mix with what's left and it makes a great dip for potato chips. |
Subject: RE: BS: Crud - What's it good for? From: Becca72 Date: 07 May 08 - 12:28 PM Little Hawk, to quote the great scholar Micca..."and the horse, mate". :-) |
Subject: RE: BS: Crud - What's it good for? From: john f weldon Date: 07 May 08 - 11:54 AM Actually my Crud-line showed how full to fill the bath-tub. Till a woman came into my life and washed it away. They just don't understand certain things. |
Subject: RE: BS: Crud - What's it good for? From: Little Hawk Date: 07 May 08 - 10:38 AM Becca72, you are the sort who has kept humanity festering in ignorance and misery lo these thousands of years. You and your ilk, the bloodless enforcers of conventionality and the stiflers of all original thought would still have us wearing bone corsets and codpieces and sacrificing our firstborn if you had your way! I don't doubt that you are paid well by the shadowy enforcers of the global power structure to spread the usual mindnumbing propaganda about crud, and make people think it's just a form of "dirt" that must be cleaned up and disposed of. You will not succeed in your vile objective, the true purpose of which is to allow the global elite to hoard all the crud for themselves! Even now there are revolutionary forces emerging at the grassroots level that will sweep away the corrupt power elite of today and usher us into a whole New Age in which crud will finally be recognized for what it truly is...humanity's last, best hope! |
Subject: RE: BS: Crud - What's it good for? From: john f weldon Date: 07 May 08 - 10:31 AM What's the use of Crud?????? All life on earth evolved from Crud, when a passing alien ship dumped its washbasins on our godforsaken planet. |
Subject: RE: BS: Crud - What's it good for? From: Becca72 Date: 07 May 08 - 10:26 AM Duh...it's purpose, of course, is to let you know when it's time to clean the tub. |
Subject: RE: BS: Crud - What's it good for? From: Rapparee Date: 07 May 08 - 09:20 AM Well, it's like this. "Crud" that is flushed away, and most of it is, is actually collected by the Governments, who give it to the Templars. The Templars in turn give it to The Codicil, which is the name of the secret group that runs all the banks, businesses, and breweries in the world. The Codicil (and I could be killed for disclosing all of this information, but Others Must Know) uses it as a starter for brewing Budweiser, as the basis of World Bank and banking policies, and adgfadfnla...... |
Subject: RE: BS: Crud - What's it good for? From: Mrrzy Date: 07 May 08 - 09:04 AM From Tom Lehrer's Pollution: We got smog and sewage and mud Turn on your tap and get hot- and cold-running crud! |
Subject: RE: BS: Crud - What's it good for? From: Little Hawk Date: 07 May 08 - 08:33 AM Wonderful! What a great idea, Bobert! And JohnInKansas, you have once again shown why you are renowned on Mudcat and have become a legend in your own time...that post was simply sublime. Bravo. You are going to be a very, very wealthy man someday. |
Subject: RE: BS: Crud - What's it good for? From: Bobert Date: 07 May 08 - 08:08 AM Crud is the perfect food for cockroaches... They love soap scum and when you throw in the oils and and human protiens it nakes for a complete food source so... ...I'd usggets that rather that bottling it where your cockroaches can't get to it put a little on your kitchen counter at before you go to bed at night and you will have the fattest and happiest cockroaches on your block and... ...you will be the envy of all your neighbors... Guarenteed!!! B~ |
Subject: RE: BS: Crud - What's it good for? From: John MacKenzie Date: 07 May 08 - 06:27 AM I collected my crud up, and that's why my baby left me. G |
Subject: RE: BS: Crud - What's it good for? From: JohnInKansas Date: 07 May 08 - 05:27 AM Crud definitely is a misunderstood and undervalued asset. There actually are people who market special "crud removers" for the purpose of removing the crud and simply flushing it down the drain. A side effect never mentioned in the sales pitches for these "crud removers" is that each brand has it's own special ingredients for attacking the crud left behind by other brands. Unfortunately the special ingredients ALL LEAVE BEHIND a residue from their own special ingredients which CANNOT be removed by their own special ingredients. Thus the crud remover that works wonderfully ONCE will never work satisfactorily again on the same tub, since each is designed only to attack the others' crud. As decreasing efficacy accumulates, it is inevitably necessary to find another brand to remove the crud left by the current brand, which will deposit it's own crud resistant to it's own ingreadients - leading to another brand to remove the crud from the last brand in a never-ending cycle. Quite obviously, there is collusion and conspiracy involved here; and it wouldn't surprise me to learn that downstream from every drain hole there is a surreptitious "crud extractor" that gathers any crud washed out of your tub for the secret (and undoubtedly highly profitable) real uses for the crud. In our household we NEVER REMOVE THE CRUD, as it quite obviously will be of immense value when the secret use is finally revealed to us, and we shall HAVE A GOLD MINE in our accumulated crud. (And we've got enough of it now to offer shares in our crud on the open market. PM for instructions on bid submittals.) John |
Subject: RE: BS: Crud - What's it good for? From: GUEST,Vic at work Date: 07 May 08 - 04:32 AM There is only one use for Crud - starting BS threads. |
Subject: RE: BS: Crud - What's it good for? From: John O'L Date: 07 May 08 - 04:14 AM Hang some crud around your neck. It negates the smell of the garlic. Drawing on the same logic, you can also brush your teeth with it to prevent bad breath after scoffing spaghetti, or if farting is your problem, smeer a big fistful of crud on your date. |
Subject: RE: BS: Crud - What's it good for? From: GUEST,Chief Chaos Date: 06 May 08 - 10:48 PM Try sprinkling it on your backdoor ramp LH! Maybe the dachsies will roll themselves up it! |
Subject: RE: BS: Crud - What's it good for? From: Sorcha Date: 06 May 08 - 10:40 PM Dog food? Dogs will eat (or roll) in nearly anything. A medium for talking to aliens? That sounds good. Toothpaste? Hell, who KNOWS what is really in toothpaste. Maybe underarm deoderant too..see above. Oh, WAIT...it's a Shane Repellant! Sorta like deer repellant. What? Shane LIKES this stuff? Considers it an appetizer? Will re think this. Data being evaluated now. Chongo and Shatner probably also like this stuff....reevaluating, reevaluating, re re re....attempting to evaluate....evalu..eval... Flameout....base to home, base to home, base to home.... |
Subject: RE: BS: Crud - What's it good for? From: GUEST,Chief Chaos Date: 06 May 08 - 10:29 PM Probably make a good polishing material for when you're down to 000 steel wool. That's use #1! I wonder how far we'll get? |
Subject: BS: Crud - What's it good for? From: Little Hawk Date: 06 May 08 - 10:06 PM You know what crud is, don't you? Crud is that stuff that gradually builds up in a scummy layer on the inner surfaces of your bathtub and your bathroom basin. You can see it really well on white porcelain surfaces, not as well on colored bathtubs and basins. Crud is an interesting material, composed of old soap, dead skin, body oils, and a number of other mysterious organic ingredients. You can scrape it off the dry tub with a credit card and collect it that way, but it's best to wait for at least a month's buildup of crud so that it's worth the effort and you can then harvest a decent amount of the stuff. It can then be kept safely inside mason jars. I wonder that science has not yet discovered a valuable use for crud. After all, it's an easily obtainable resource that can be found in every household, and think what benefits could accrue from finding an application that would enable crud to be marketed effectively. It's got to be good for something! I have launched this thread in hopes that the brilliant minds here will come up with a valuable and innovative use for crud. And also...I did it to drive gnu around the bend...it seems that all these odd questions I keep asking have been getting to him. ;-) I figure this ought to do it and push him clean over the edge. |