BS: Officer Dana seen at Mariposa Folk Festi

Subject: RE: BS: Officer Dana seen at Mariposa Folk Festi
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Jul 09 - 06:30 PM

Can I come across the Border? I've got a present for Shame.

Subject: RE: BS: Officer Dana seen at Mariposa Folk Festi
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Jul 09 - 02:25 PM

Oh, fer Chrissake!!!!! ;-)

Thanks for nothing, Crazy Little Woman. We don't let your kind across the border, eh? Our niceness will only go so far.

Subject: RE: BS: Officer Dana seen at Mariposa Folk Festi
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Jul 09 - 02:08 PM

Many Canadians are BORN with mukluks and parkas already on.

Subject: RE: BS: Officer Dana seen at Mariposa Folk Festi
From: GUEST,crazy little woman
Date: 11 Jul 09 - 11:33 AM

LH says he can't figure out Leeneia's earlier post.
========
"They're in the third row, left-hand picture."

Say again? I found the page, but I'm not sure which picture you mean.
========

LH, if you get to the page of pictures, go down the rows of pictures 1-2-3 times. Then figure out which way is left. In my house, left is towards the front door, if that's any help.

Officer Dana is the 512th person from the left in the 13th row in from the ocean. You can recognize her by her streaked blonde hair and bikini.

Warning: anybody following these steps will be viewing a page which includes numerous photos of actual women in actual bikinis. Canadians may not able to handle it, since everybody in Canada wears mukluks and parkas all the time.

Subject: RE: BS: Officer Dana seen at Mariposa Folk Festi
From: GUEST,leeneia
Date: 11 Jul 09 - 10:18 AM

Sure, top row, left hand side. You can tell by the blue shirt and special hat.

Subject: RE: BS: Officer Dana seen at Mariposa Folk Festi
From: daylia
Date: 10 Jul 09 - 12:57 PM

LOL

and here's Officer Dana mid-change, posing with a few classmates from Police Academy. She'd just finished a Weight Watchers program ... can u pick her out?

Subject: RE: BS: Officer Dana seen at Mariposa Folk Festi
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Jul 09 - 12:42 PM

You are a very sick man. (stifling my laughter here)

Subject: RE: BS: Officer Dana seen at Mariposa Folk Festi
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Jul 09 - 12:41 PM

Officer Dana wasn't, of course, ALWAYS Officer Dana. Research has shown that she had a very troubled childhood. Eventually, she found a counselor who got her to accept herself for what she was and she made the necessary changes in her life. Here is the only known picture of her before she changed her life.

Subject: RE: BS: Officer Dana seen at Mariposa Folk Festi
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Jul 09 - 11:26 AM

"They're in the third row, left-hand picture."

Say again? I found the page, but I'm not sure which picture you mean. It does look like an event that Shane would feel right at home in....and Officer Dana would be needed there to restore order too, if necessary.

Subject: RE: BS: Officer Dana seen at Mariposa Folk Festi
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Jul 09 - 11:22 AM

Wowee!

Subject: RE: BS: Officer Dana seen at Mariposa Folk Festi
From: daylia
Date: 10 Jul 09 - 10:29 AM

Officer Dana with Shane, beside the Barrie Bucket (LH's weiner dog looks on, bottom right)

and Officer Dana in days gone by (don't let that wig confuse you!)

Subject: RE: BS: Officer Dana seen at Mariposa Folk Festi
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Jul 09 - 09:19 AM

Here is a photo Ossifer Dana on her OPP Academy class trip to Scotland Yard.   She was just a young ossifer at that time.

And here is the only known picture of Ossifer Jennifer "Jenni" Dana as she is today.

Subject: RE: BS: Officer Dana seen at Mariposa Folk Festi
From: GUEST,leeneia
Date: 10 Jul 09 - 09:03 AM

Ebarnacle wants to see photos of the central players.

Easy. Go to:

http://www.florabama.com/

and click on '25th Annual Mullet Toss Results.' They're in the third row, left-hand picture.

Subject: RE: BS: Officer Dana seen at Mariposa Folk Festi
From: gnu
Date: 09 Jul 09 - 07:51 PM

"mysterious potter"? It ain't Clay Achin. Do the math.

Subject: RE: BS: Officer Dana seen at Mariposa Folk Festi
From: JennieG
Date: 09 Jul 09 - 07:44 PM

Amos, that is such beautiful lyrical prose, I'm sure on reading it that won't be a dry seat - sorry, eye - in the house.

If Shane played harp he could serenade aformentioned Ossifer Dana.

Cheers
JennieG

Subject: RE: BS: Officer Dana seen at Mariposa Folk Festi
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Jul 09 - 05:30 PM

Damn shame I didn't have my camera. I could've got some great photos. Raptor didn't bring his either.

Subject: RE: BS: Officer Dana seen at Mariposa Folk Festi
From: EBarnacle
Date: 09 Jul 09 - 05:20 PM

It would be interesting to see photos of the central chacters in this saga.

Subject: RE: BS: Officer Dana seen at Mariposa Folk Festi
From: daylia
Date: 09 Jul 09 - 05:14 PM

sure, sure ....

Subject: RE: BS: Officer Dana seen at Mariposa Folk Festi
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Jul 09 - 05:02 PM

Folk festivals have that effect on people.

Subject: RE: BS: Officer Dana seen at Mariposa Folk Festi
From: Amos
Date: 09 Jul 09 - 04:51 PM

Well, all I can say is she has been a world nicer to folks at the precinct office and the streets, too, since she came back from that long weekend, whatever she was doing.

A

Subject: RE: BS: Officer Dana seen at Mariposa Folk Festi
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Jul 09 - 04:06 PM

Shame's "business" fell off long ago.

Subject: RE: BS: Officer Dana seen at Mariposa Folk Festi
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Jul 09 - 03:08 PM

That story sounds reasonably plausible to me, Amos. I wouldn't be surprised if it's true. Well, not toooo surprised, I guess. If Shane knew, he would be wild with jealousy. His "honour" would compell him to issue numerous idle threats, promise dire consequences, and resolve to go down to the USA and thrash the mysterious potter.......sometime. Not soon probably...but....sometime. When he gets all his other important business taken care of. Maybe then, eh?

Subject: RE: BS: Officer Dana seen at Mariposa Folk Festi
From: Amos
Date: 09 Jul 09 - 02:34 PM

Our own Bubba BeeDubyaEll is, himself, a grisled, old but lanky potter from Floribama. All similarities in my prose concerning Officer Dana and her alleged liaisons to actual people, living or otherwise, is, however, purely coincidental.



A

Subject: RE: BS: Officer Dana seen at Mariposa Folk Festi
From: gnu
Date: 09 Jul 09 - 01:04 PM

Blues on blues?

Subject: RE: BS: Officer Dana seen at Mariposa Folk Festi
From: GUEST,leeneia
Date: 09 Jul 09 - 12:51 PM

Florabama!? Who's from Florabama? I've been to the Florabama Club.

Whoever you are, are you a Richard Gilewitz fan?
========
Kudos to Officer Dana for thoroughly investigating the what goes on at the festival. A good cop knows her beat.

(Beautiful prose, Amos. Thanks.)

Subject: RE: BS: Officer Dana seen at Mariposa Folk Festi
From: Amos
Date: 09 Jul 09 - 12:46 PM

He might do better on a plain "C" Hohner harp. He sucks pretty well for sure, and can learn to blow.

BTW, I have a first-hand report that said Ossifer Dana was seen slipping out of someone's pup-tent in the early moonlit hours of Friday night at the Mariposa hoot. She, 't is said, was carrying her uniform stuff inher right hand, and with the other clutching a blanket around her, from which her pony-like gams pranced and shivered in the moonlight like ivory showers of pure white milk; her hair, hanging long down her back, rippled gently in the midnight breeze, glimmering blondely in the silver light, and she smiled a warm and happy woman's sort of smile as she tiptoed back to her patrol truck.

My informant says the pup tent belonged to a grisled old but lanky potter from Floribama who was displaying his commercial wares by day at the festival, and evidently displaying other things by night.

I just want the record to be complete...


A

Subject: RE: BS: Officer Dana seen at Mariposa Folk Festi
From: GUEST,leeneia
Date: 09 Jul 09 - 11:35 AM

I too have my doubts about banjo. Start small, with a shaky egg to get rhythm down, then move to whistle or recorder, where you don't have to move as many fingers at one time.

I bet you could get a government grant to cover the cost of a low whistle, which is so melodious and also might compensate for...well, you know.

As for 'Deliverance,' I've never seen the movie, but so far I've been in three beautiful places that claim to be the place 'where they actually filmed Deliverance.'

Subject: RE: BS: Officer Dana seen at Mariposa Folk Festi
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Jul 09 - 09:43 PM

Reminds me of that thing about "Stop pickin' on Brittany!"

Subject: RE: BS: Officer Dana seen at Mariposa Folk Festi
From: Sandy Mc Lean
Date: 08 Jul 09 - 08:27 PM

It is disgusting the way youse picks on Shane. Give him a break.eh! Just because he likes the odd beer and glows in the dark (Blind River luminence) quit picking on him!

Subject: RE: BS: Officer Dana seen at Mariposa Folk Festi
From: Ebbie
Date: 08 Jul 09 - 07:40 PM

A harp? Shane?

Subject: RE: BS: Officer Dana seen at Mariposa Folk Festi
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Jul 09 - 07:37 PM

The only Harp he'll play on is the lager. Shame the Harp Sucker, the dry end of the McBride gene pool.

Subject: RE: BS: Officer Dana seen at Mariposa Folk Festi
From: JennieG
Date: 08 Jul 09 - 07:10 PM

I dunno.....I can't see Shane playing banjo. I can see his gentler side coming out while playing harp, a small lap one not the huge orchestral one of course. And rolling his eyes soulfully heavenwards, while plucking away on said harp.

Yes, it does conjure up a pretty picture.......

Cheers
JennieG

Subject: RE: BS: Officer Dana seen at Mariposa Folk Festi
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 Jul 09 - 06:39 PM

By the way, "Truckin' 'A'!" will be marketed in Canada as "Truckin', Eh?" or "Truckin' 'A', Eh?" They're still working on the alternative title for the Canadian market.

Subject: RE: BS: Officer Dana seen at Mariposa Folk Festi
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 Jul 09 - 06:12 PM

Don is Shane's older brother. He'd be great for that part alongside Tommy Lee Jones. Don and Shane, real brothers in real life, would play the hillbilly brothers "Jubal" and "Skeeter" in the film, sons of the perverse Tommy Lee Jones character "Zeke"...KILLbillies, that is...Winona would play their beautiful and terrorized cousin, Velma Sue.

It's a marketing gimmick to get both brothers in the same film. These guys are going to be far more famous than the McKenzie brothers ever were, because they are going to go beyond mere wacky humor and into serious art films like "Deliverance 2" and "Truckin' 'A'!!!".

Subject: RE: BS: Officer Dana seen at Mariposa Folk Festi
From: number 6
Date: 08 Jul 09 - 05:32 PM

Don McBride !?!?!?!


biLL

Subject: RE: BS: Officer Dana seen at Mariposa Folk Festi
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 Jul 09 - 05:17 PM

"Deliverance 2" - starring Tom Cruise, Tom Hanks, Adam Sandler, and Nicholas Cage as the unsuspecting canoe trippers....Winona Ryder as "Velma Sue", the mysterious mountain gal fleeing her homicidal, incestuous, sex-crazed kin....Tommy Lee Jones and Don McBride as the vile, sadistic killbillies, "Zeke" and "Jubal"...and Shane McBride in his never-to-be-forgotten role as "the Banjo player"!!!!

The biggest blockbuster EVER in 2010!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Officer Dana seen at Mariposa Folk Festi
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Jul 09 - 01:28 PM

I can see him playing the banjo...

They already filmed "Deliverance."

Subject: RE: BS: Officer Dana seen at Mariposa Folk Festi
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 Jul 09 - 11:53 AM

I wish! I'd be rolling in money if I was...and then I could afford to travel to California frequently, go on expensive dates with Winona Ryder, and play various annoying practical jokes on Amos.

Leeneia - You have some good ideas there. Perhaps Shane can be rehabilitated through the power of acoustic music. He might become a true folk legend in time, just like Doc Watson and Blind Boy Grunt. Ya think? I can see him playing the banjo...

Officer Dana looked quite cheerful at the festival (until the incident at the beer tent, that is). I think the small contingent of cops there were all enjoying themselves about as much as everyone else was, despite having to attend to their duties. There can't be any more pleasant duty for a cop than policing the Mariposa Folk Festival, because almost nothing ever goes wrong there. They just have to make sure that people don't take alcoholic drinks outside of the designated areas and stuff like that...and everyone is so relaxed and friendly and the general vibe is so nice that it's got to be the ideal assignment from a police officer's point of view.

Too bad about Shane, eh? ;-) But he didn't really do any harm. He just created a bit of impromptu entertainment, that's all. That seems to be Shane's main role in life, although he has been responsible, sadly, for the demise of a surprising number of snowmobiles, most of which are now resting at the bottom of some lake or river around the Sudbury/Blind River area.

Subject: RE: BS: Officer Dana seen at Mariposa Folk Festi
From: GUEST,number 6
Date: 08 Jul 09 - 10:13 AM

Hey L.H. ... where you a script writer for the Trailer Park Boys ??

biLL

Subject: RE: BS: Officer Dana seen at Mariposa Folk Festi
From: GUEST,leeneia
Date: 08 Jul 09 - 09:28 AM

Thanks for the report, Little Hawk. I believe every word of it.

Did Officer Dana seem to enjoy the music? Is she one of us or not?

As for Shane, there is only one course open to members of a decent society. Now that his mind has been opened to traditional music, give him an instrument. Mastering it will distract him from drugs and alcohol. Perhaps in time Officer Dana will become his groupie.

Subject: RE: BS: Officer Dana seen at Mariposa Folk Festi
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Jul 09 - 08:56 AM

Nonsense. The government could implant an RFID chip in Shame's skull (there's plenty of room -- they could implant an old-fashioned tube-based transmitter complete with dipole antenna, fercrissakes) and he, of course, would never know it. They could do this without anesthesia since he'd just think it was part of the hangover. No, she isn't doing this because of some connection with aliens -- Shame is alien enough for anybody, even the Gxa people of T'cha Galaxy. Her assignment is much more mundane.

As for the table dancing, there are Certain Videos.... Of course, she doesn't do it in uniform.

Subject: RE: BS: Officer Dana seen at Mariposa Folk Festi
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 Jul 09 - 02:10 AM

That's a dirty lie! The part about the Hi-Hat Club, I mean...

She's in the OPP. That's the Ontario Provincial Police. I think, though, that she's tied in with some other levels of law enforcement too...maybe on the federal level, but undercover. Just hazarding a guess about that. Ever since the time Shane got abducted by the space aliens the second time (witnessed BY Officer Dana) there have been some subtle indications that she is not just an OPP officer. No siree. I think she's into some highly classified stuff. I suspect, in fact, that she has been assigned to keep an eye on Shane because the government wants to know what interest the aliens have in him and why they keep abducting him. They figure they can use Shane to find out more about the Greys. It's no coincidence that Jennifer Dana keeps showing up wherever Shane goes...and it's not just because he is following her around like a lovesick hound dog...despite getting no encouragement whatsover.

Nope. It's the alien connection for sure. What else on God's Earth could possibly interest a woman like that in the activities of Shane McBride????

My bet is he will not be in the Barrie jail for long. They want him loose so they can use him as bait for the Greys.

Subject: RE: BS: Officer Dana seen at Mariposa Folk Festi
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Jul 09 - 10:02 PM

She's in the OPP alright. She moonlights as a table dancer at the Hi-Hat Club in Sudbury as well

Subject: RE: BS: Officer Dana seen at Mariposa Folk Festi
From: gnu
Date: 07 Jul 09 - 02:32 PM

I thought Dana is an officer in the OPP... not the RCMP, not the OPD. LH?

Subject: RE: BS: Officer Dana seen at Mariposa Folk Festi
From: Amos
Date: 07 Jul 09 - 11:26 AM

What fascinatesme about the interior landscape revealed by LH's imagined rompers is what the tensions among them reveal about his complex, occasionally brilliant, occasionally bewildered nature.

A

Subject: RE: BS: Officer Dana seen at Mariposa Folk Festi
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Jul 09 - 11:13 AM

Don, maybe. He bathes once in a while. Shane is an archeological site, a veritable walking midden heap.

Subject: RE: BS: Officer Dana seen at Mariposa Folk Festi
From: Little Hawk
Date: 07 Jul 09 - 10:52 AM

Heh! Everything people write reveals the interior of their own mind. That's one of the risks of being an author.

The Mariposa was a roaring success this year despite the unfortunate scene precipitated by Shane. Everyone is looking forward with great anticipation to next year's Mariposa which will be the 50TH ANNIVERSARY OF THE FESTIVAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Expect an extra special lineup to be booked for that one.

I went and saw Shane at the jail in Barrie. He's doing fine, meeting new friends, and finding customers for that dynamite weed he and Don have been growing.

Oops.

I wasn't supposed to mention that.

Oh well, I don't suppose it matters. Look, if you're in the Blind River area and are looking to score some excellent homegrown, call on Shane and Don. Only the best, eh? Bobert?   ;-)

Subject: RE: BS: Officer Dana seen at Mariposa Folk Festi
From: Ebbie
Date: 07 Jul 09 - 01:08 AM

What is disturbing about your story, Little Hawk, is that it appears to reveal the interior of your own mind. Say it ain't so?

Subject: RE: BS: Officer Dana seen at Mariposa Folk Festi
From: Raptor
Date: 06 Jul 09 - 11:25 PM

I was at Maraposa too and I saw the officer she was hot. She was working near the main stage for Valdy's set.


If thats LH's imagination I want to be imagined in need of some restraint.

Subject: RE: BS: Officer Dana seen at Mariposa Folk Festi
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Jul 09 - 09:28 PM

He's already impotent, incontinent, and shriveled to the size of an uncooked dried pea. What "manhood" he has left he uses to attempt to grow what might possibly pass, in very bad light, as a beard. Tasering him would be the most fun he's had since he discovered he could tinkle standing up instead of laying in the gutter.

Subject: RE: BS: Officer Dana seen at Mariposa Folk Festi
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 06 Jul 09 - 08:37 PM

We all know this Shane/Officer Dana thing is going to come to a sorry end, don't we? Someday, in a fit of substance-induced machismo, Shane is going to get overly physical while trying to put the moves on Officer Dana and she's going to pop him with her Taser. Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on one's point of view), the shot will go awry and deliver approximately a quadzillion volts of electricity to Shane's genital area. His equipment will, from that point on, be rendered null and void. He will be left impotent, incontinent, and shriveled to the size of an uncooked Great Northern bean. Shane will attempt to sue the city of Orillia, but will settle out of court for a lifetime supply of Depends® undergarments.

Subject: RE: BS: Officer Dana seen at Mariposa Folk Festi
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Jul 09 - 07:12 PM

You know, I've been told that I look pretty good for a woman in her late 90s.

Subject: RE: BS: Officer Dana seen at Mariposa Folk Festi
From: Amos
Date: 06 Jul 09 - 05:47 PM

She must be at least partly imaginary, LH, for her to attract Shane's attention at all!! Surely you see that. And it is the imaginary part which is worth claimancy and a challenge to your testosterone endowment. Every Lothario knows that it is only the imaginary square root of a beautiful damsel that is worth pursuing, except in rare, rare cases, of whom several are found here on the Cat, by some strange coincidence, and they KNOW who they azre.




A

Subject: RE: BS: Officer Dana seen at Mariposa Folk Festi
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Jul 09 - 05:06 PM

Amos, you are such a diddlyboob! (for explanation of the term, look up old issues of "Bloom Country", the comic strip).

The lovely Jennifer Dana is NOT imaginary. She was there. I have witnesses.

Subject: RE: BS: Officer Dana seen at Mariposa Folk Festi
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Jul 09 - 05:04 PM

Well, yes...that's why the people in the beer tent got used to him after awhile. Besides, they were drinking. That always helps. It dulls the senses and increases basic tolerance levels...at least until moving into the "angry drunk" stage. After that stage tolerance levels can swing 180 degrees in a second or two.

Too bad I didn't have my camera. I could've got some photos of Jennifer Dana...truly "Ontario's Finest".

Subject: RE: BS: Officer Dana seen at Mariposa Folk Festi
From: Amos
Date: 06 Jul 09 - 05:01 PM

Well, it's wonderful what an imaginary playmate will do under the influence of certain stimulants, isn't? Ya know, if you were half a man, LH, you would claim that wonderful Officer Dana as your own, and shut out that little flipping hoser from the game altogether.

Of course, since they are both imaginary playmates of yours, that could lead to some interesting complications, depending on how you control access...



A

Subject: RE: BS: Officer Dana seen at Mariposa Folk Festi
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Jul 09 - 04:48 PM

...a little area of bare grass all around Shane...

I assume you meant to say "bare OF grass", since he kills grass if he stands on it more than 30 seconds and the sense of smell if he's anywhere within 50 feet, more or less, of you.

Subject: BS: Officer Dana seen at Mariposa Folk Festi
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Jul 09 - 03:19 PM

We had the Mariposa Folk Festival in Orillia, Ontario this past weekend, and it was great! Buffy Sainte-Marie was the headliner, doing the final set in typical fine style and with a new album to sell. Boy, she looks amazing for a woman in her late 60s.

Lots of other extraordinary musicians were there to be seen as well, some virtuoso-level performances...but the biggest surprise of all for me was to see Officer Jennifer Dana of the O.P.P. among the small contingent of police officers watching over the festival.

Immaculate in her spit and polish uniform, Officer Dana cut a fine figure as she always does...tall, blond, and beautiful, with that steely look lurking behind her cool blue eyes that tells you not to mess with the law when this gal is on patrol! Yikes. Some people just look great in uniform. I wanted to go and ask for her autograph, but I resisted the impulse. You shouldn't really bother them when they're on duty.

Then I noticed a shabby and hirsute figure trailing about in a dirty lumberjack shirt, tattered jeans, lumberjack boots, and a backwards baseball cap with the slogan "I'm FLIPPIN' Easy, Eh?...Apply Directly Below!" printed on it. It was none other than my old buddy, Shane McBride.

Well, I sat down with Shane for a bit over at the open stage, just before doing a 20 minute set there, and caught up on things. It seems he had hitched rides down from Blind River, mostly so he could see Jennifer Dana on duty and also catch some good bands at Mariposa. But he was disappointed by the lineup.

"Who the flip ARE these people?" he said, shaking his head. "What the flip kind of music show IS this? I was hopin' to see stuff like AC-DC, Ozzie, Black Sabbath, The Filthy Habits *(all-girl punk band that dress up like nuns in fishnet stockings), Hell's Harvest, Marylin Manson, The Dirty Minds, Torture Chamber...."

"You have to give it a chance," I said. "Look, would Jenny Dana be here if it was a BAD show? Would she, man? Think about it."

That made him think twice.

Well, an hour later I saw Shane over at the Estelle Klein stage watching an amazing workshop with Royal Wood, Buffy Sainte-Marie, Guy Davis, Basia Bulat and assorted other musicians doing a series of superb performances, and he was transfixed. I actually saw tears in the lad's eyes. There was a little area of bare grass all around Shane as the other audience members seemed to find his immediate proximity a bit too...fragrant. Anyway, he was truly enjoying the music.

I think Shane has finally become at least a part-time folkie. He has learned to love roots music and girls in tie-die clothing, specially the latter.

Later in the evening after Buffy did the closing set I found Shane hunkered down over at the beer tent. I don't know where he got the money to buy drinks, but the boy was plastered, and he was entertaining a small crowd of enthusiastic people by doing the "chicken dance" on one of the tables. Around about midnight there was a big commotion. Shane had been cut off from further drinking by the management and was asked to leave. When he refused, the cops were called. By the time they arrived, Shane had started tearing off all his clothing. He was threatening to stage a nude protest demonstration if he couldn't get more drinks.

"NO WAY! NO WAY!" chanted the crowd as Shane pulled his grotty T-shirt off over his head and began slowwwwwwly unzipping his jeans...

He was just pulling them down when three cops, one of them the disgusted looking Jennifer Dana, descended upon him like linebackers on a squirming quarterback at a championship game. A desperate struggle ensued as the crowd clapped, stomped, cheered, and threw empty plastic glasses.

Two minutes later Shane was dragged away screaming, "I done it all for LOVE, Jennifer! MARRY ME! I AM YER ONE AND ONLY MAN! I AM YER LOVER BOY!"

Poor Officer Dana! She looked tight-lipped, humiliated, and mad enough to bite the end off a nine iron. The other cops were attempting to keep straight faces, but not quite succeeding. They kept trying to smother sudden outbursts of laughter.

Shane seeme to have been taken to the local lockup.

Nothing like this has happened at Mariposa since the early 60s. I sure hope it doesn't cause the town council to stop hosting the festival again, like they did back in...'61, was it? That would be a tragedy.

The 50th Anniversay is next year, eh? I wonder if Shane will be there? If so, I wonder if he'll be provided with a special police escort to ensure that nothing goes awry? I hope so.