BS: Tricks for Intelligent Racoons

Subject: RE: BS: Tricks for Intelligent Racoons
From: Big Al Whittle
Date: 19 Aug 11 - 12:11 AM

Well who knows perhaps the Hindus are right. Next time he will be reincarnated as a stand up comdedian, or a member of a motorbike formation team.

Subject: RE: BS: Tricks for Intelligent Racoons
From: olddude
Date: 18 Aug 11 - 09:14 PM

Never crossed my mind Kat or even gave it a thought. It is just what we call the critters here ... never thought it would or could be taken any other way .. apologize if anyone did.

He really did get run over ... I really miss him also .. He was fun little critter

Subject: RE: BS: Tricks for Intelligent Racoons
From: katlaughing
Date: 18 Aug 11 - 08:27 PM

Dan, your raccoon really got run over? That is so sad. Sorry to hear that.

I know it may seem too PC, but if we're going to use "coon" it'd better if it had an apostrophe, imo...the negative connotations would be less.

Still luvyakat

Subject: RE: BS: Tricks for Intelligent Racoons
From: Big Al Whittle
Date: 18 Aug 11 - 07:22 PM

'Raccoons cheat.'

Unlike Swans that mate for life. Who knows - perhaps Swans aren't as white as they're painted. Perhaps they sneak around.

Subject: RE: BS: Tricks for Intelligent Racoons
From: gnu
Date: 18 Aug 11 - 03:23 PM

Right... diversion tactic...

Women... er... womenz... should be obscene and not heard.

Now! Dan! Make cover. I'll cover joke and hold them off as long as I can.

She asked why we don't make love like they do in the movies... GO DAN! GO NOW!

Nooooo... I ain't gonna tell the rest of that joke... if Dan didn't get to the extraction point, he's just too slow.

Subject: RE: BS: Tricks for Intelligent Racoons
From: olddude
Date: 18 Aug 11 - 02:19 PM

I am use to the cellar frog, Jacqui and Sins throw me down there all the time. Me Kendall and Spaw are use to it

Subject: RE: BS: Tricks for Intelligent Racoons
From: olddude
Date: 18 Aug 11 - 02:17 PM

LOL

Subject: RE: BS: Tricks for Intelligent Racoons
From: frogprince
Date: 18 Aug 11 - 01:51 PM

..."horrible, nasty smell"...

Dan, really...you're usually a gentleman, and then your wife leaves for a bit, and the next thing we know you tell one like that....

Dan...Cellar!

Subject: RE: BS: Tricks for Intelligent Racoons
From: olddude
Date: 18 Aug 11 - 08:58 AM

A guy brings a raccoon home , tells his wife it's a pet.
She asks , "Where are you going to keep it?"
He repies , "In the bedroom."
"But what about that horrible nasty smell?' , she asks.
"I got used to you , I'm sure he will too!"
------
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To show the raccoon it could be done !!
------

What do you call coons in prison?
Coonvicts

Where do they send coons who have been commited?
The Cooney Ben

What do coons use to wash their fur with?
Coonditioner

What would a drug dealing coon conceal?
Coontraband

What is the name of the Airplane that transports coovicts?
Coonair

Subject: RE: BS: Tricks for Intelligent Racoons
From: Big Al Whittle
Date: 18 Aug 11 - 06:22 AM

'Raccoons cheat. They just tune to E and barre the first fret. '

Yes indeed, I've never met anyone who would sit down and play cards with a racoon.

Subject: RE: BS: Tricks for Intelligent Racoons
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 18 Aug 11 - 01:35 AM

"Playing an F chord with only three fingers."

Raccoons cheat. They just tune to E and barre the first fret.

Subject: RE: BS: Tricks for Intelligent Racoons
From: olddude
Date: 17 Aug 11 - 06:00 PM

Now that I think about it, it was not the hot dogs. Right before he got waffled on the road by a car, he sat with me and ate half of my meatball sub. I got the munchies so I went down and got one. The missus was resting cause she was still on chemo at the time. He sat next to me eating the half I gave him like a human holding it with both hands. I probably slowed him down so much that he didn't make it across as fast as he usually did ...

Subject: RE: BS: Tricks for Intelligent Racoons
From: olddude
Date: 17 Aug 11 - 05:52 PM

Yea but he followed it up with his bowl of cat food. Maybe he committed suicide to avoid the cardiology docs. I miss sitting with the critter he was my buddie although I feel soon enough another will take his place .. got tons of em around here

Subject: RE: BS: Tricks for Intelligent Racoons
From: gnu
Date: 18 Aug 11 - 05:04 PM

As I know from previous threads and post, the following is okay (I hope).

WHAT? You were feeding the critter hot dogs? EVERY night?

Better to get hit by a vehicle than go thru all the catharic arrest and get nailed on the bypass.

Subject: RE: BS: Tricks for Intelligent Racoons
From: olddude
Date: 18 Aug 11 - 04:59 PM

Avoid cars on the road when trying to get to the nice guy that gives ya a hot dog every night.

Subject: RE: BS: Tricks for Intelligent Racoons
From: Little Hawk
Date: 18 Aug 11 - 02:55 PM

Put in the light bulbs on the cathedral ceiling.

Subject: RE: BS: Tricks for Intelligent Racoons
From: Wesley S
Date: 18 Aug 11 - 02:39 PM

Change my strings before every gig and tune my instruments every morning.

Subject: RE: BS: Tricks for Intelligent Racoons
From: lefthanded guitar
Date: 18 Aug 11 - 01:22 PM

Do my laundry..........PUHLEASE............I hate laundry, and they're so good at washing things.

Subject: RE: BS: Tricks for Intelligent Racoons
From: Big Al Whittle
Date: 17 Aug 11 - 11:36 PM

I keep seeing racoons everywhere dancing the can can, but the medication started to kick in yesterday snd now they're just pole dancing in a seductive manner..

Subject: RE: BS: Tricks for Intelligent Racoons
From: katlaughing
Date: 17 Aug 11 - 10:51 PM

Hand wash all my dishes!:-)

Subject: RE: BS: Tricks for Intelligent Racoons
From: gnu
Date: 17 Aug 11 - 10:41 PM

Me too but I wasn't impressed... it was spaghetti.

Subject: RE: BS: Tricks for Intelligent Racoons
From: Greg F.
Date: 14 Aug 11 - 06:37 PM

Eating with a spoon.

Too late- I saw a trained one actually do that once.

Subject: RE: BS: Tricks for Intelligent Racoons
From: GUEST,999
Date: 14 Aug 11 - 06:28 PM

GHell, s/he's already wearing the mask!

Subject: RE: BS: Tricks for Intelligent Racoons
From: GUEST,999
Date: 14 Aug 11 - 06:27 PM

. . . and bringing them to 999.

Subject: RE: BS: Tricks for Intelligent Racoons
From: Donuel
Date: 14 Aug 11 - 06:18 PM

Stealing kegs of beer.

Subject: RE: BS: Tricks for Intelligent Racoons
From: Jeri
Date: 14 Aug 11 - 06:10 PM

Playing an F chord with only three fingers.

Subject: RE: BS: Tricks for Intelligent Racoons
From: GUEST,999
Date: 14 Aug 11 - 06:06 PM

Eating with a spoon.

Subject: RE: BS: Tricks for Intelligent Racoons
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Aug 11 - 06:03 PM

Winning the "War on Terror".

Subject: BS: Tricks for Intelligent Racoons
From: Big Al Whittle
Date: 14 Aug 11 - 05:28 PM

balancing the economy