BS: Chongo's childhood revealed

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo's childhood revealed
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 10 Dec 11 - 07:39 PM

It means that Ralphie B. is not gettin' any more free drinks. At least not from me, that's for sure. I am surprised he even knows the word "cloaca", but I guess he's been doin' some readin' up on things.

- Chongo

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo's childhood revealed
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Dec 11 - 05:41 PM

A few minutes ago I spoke with one of my friends in Chicago and they said that that Chongo "was a cloaca", whatever that means.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo's childhood revealed
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Dec 11 - 04:30 PM

I asked Chongo about that. He said "Chuck Woollery is an asshole." Chongo seldom uses that kind of language, so I think he really meant it. He further went on to say that someone who wants to raise money by disbanding the E.P.A. should be dropped naked into one of our national forests, preferably one in Alaska where there are lots of bears, and see if he gains a greater appreciation for Mother Nature as he finds his way back to civilization on foot.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo's childhood revealed
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 10 Dec 11 - 01:18 PM

Chuck Woollery a chump for Chongo Chimp

Check his so called crack team of researchers.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=KV-RqPtT2PU#!

I tell you! The nepotism in show business and politics just makes me sick.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo's childhood revealed
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Dec 11 - 06:32 PM

Yeah, bu-------

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo's childhood revealed
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Dec 11 - 09:30 AM

What you just said.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo's childhood revealed
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Dec 11 - 12:57 AM

Right. Okay, what comes next?

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo's childhood revealed
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Dec 11 - 12:48 AM

Yes, I made you say that.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo's childhood revealed
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Dec 11 - 12:20 AM

Yes, I've heard that.

I'm not one of those crass types who demands "proof", either. Knowing that one can neither prove nor disprove the ineffable, any more than one can lock love inside a cash box, I reserve judgement on the matter and await further revelations.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo's childhood revealed
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Dec 11 - 03:39 PM

How can you be sure, Amos, that you and I and everyone else here are not figments in the imagination of some greater creative source?

C'est moi, c'est moi, I humbly admit....

I've told you and told you: I created all of you. I am the "greater creative source" in the imagination of which you are all figments.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo's childhood revealed
From: Little Hawk
Date: 01 Dec 11 - 01:04 PM

How can you be sure, Amos, that you and I and everyone else here are not figments in the imagination of some greater creative source? To be sure, we appear to be endowed with free will, but then, so do the characters I create. For instance, Chongo and Shane have opinions widely divergent from my own, and they do things I wouldn't dream of doing. I may have given birth to them, but after that they insisted upon going there own way, each according to his or her unique nature. I don't tell them what to do...they tell ME what they are GOING to do, and I am merely the scribe.

I have offered them advice from time to time, but they seldom take it. Kind of like the relationship you most likely have with your creator!

Chongo thinks of you as an ephemeral being with a limited lifespan. He says that after you're gone, the world will carry on as blithely as if you had never been. And he says the same of me. ;-D I suspect he is right about both of us.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo's childhood revealed
From: Amos
Date: 01 Dec 11 - 12:26 PM

Too rich--one of LIttle Hawk's imaginary characters doing a deep investigative expose on another of same. You're going to end up giving introspection a bad name, LH!! :D

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo's childhood revealed
From: Little Hawk
Date: 01 Dec 11 - 11:10 AM

LOL!!! You should be working for Hector Ballsworthy's Independent Press in the UK. Ballsworthy has not yet done an expose' on Chongo Chimp, and I really can't imagine how he managed to overlook that golden opportunity. I suggest that you contact him forthwith and offer to dish up the dirt on Chongo.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo's childhood revealed
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Dec 11 - 10:04 AM

Back in 2004 Chongo Chump posted for the first time. He wrote:

When it's all over? I normally pour myself a stiff shot of whisky, peel a fresh banana, light up a Cuban cigar, and just sit back and take it easy for awhile. Maybe I play out a little chess gambit to relax my mind.

One thing you can be sure of. When one sticky situation ends another one is waitin' in the wings, so enjoy the peace and quiet while you can, I say. Nobody's gonna pay you for it, so you might as well enjoy it.

CC

That was the first 1,017 posts, but in none of them does he express any regret for his treatment of his sister or mother OR "out himself."

Yet from the very first his tastes have been obvious: "peel a fresh banana" -- "light up a Cuban cigar"-- "sticky situation." And the "chess gambit" should be obvious -- a chess game ends with a "mate."

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo's childhood revealed
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Nov 11 - 03:01 PM

Ferguson -- Michael or Sarah. Take your pick.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo's childhood revealed
From: gnu
Date: 30 Nov 11 - 02:43 PM

Ferguson?

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo's childhood revealed
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 30 Nov 11 - 12:37 PM

Rumor has it that Chinga Chimp was planning on claiming to have been sexually harassed by Herman Cain as a way of getting some free publicity for her brother Chongo's campaign. She changed her mind when she arrived at the Chicago NBC television affiliate and was greeted by a "Please Take a Number" machine. She would have been #812 and the "Now Serving" light was only at #34.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo's childhood revealed
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Nov 11 - 10:01 AM

...cleanin' the guns and goin' through my files.

Rubbing your barrel tenderly and lovingly, I'm certain, while looking at the pictures from your "files." Unless you're at Duffy's, a bar which has a certain...clientele...a "rough trade," so to speak. As for those "pledges," well, I guess you can call them that...former Idaho Senator Larry Craig said you did when you "met" with him.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo's childhood revealed
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 30 Nov 11 - 12:45 AM

So...I see that my enemies are gettin' desperate. They are stoopin' to shoddy tactics, makin' up phony stories, and publishin' photoshopped and doctored images of me. Whatta buncha bums.

I seen some of those dumb posters the gorillas are puttin' up on fences and lamposts. I pulled 'em all down.

This is a sorry joke. Everyone KNOWS where I am at 9 pm! I'm at Duffy's Bar, entertainin' the ladies and pickin' up pledges for the APP War Chest. Or I'm in my office, cleanin' the guns and goin' through my files. I got work to do. I'm a busy chimp. Don't waste my time with these false allegations, hysterical fairy tales, and laughable innuendos.

- Chongo

p.s. - I know Obama's "dirty tricks" people are behind this. You don't fool me, Amos. I know watcher up to, I know who's payin' you, I know how much they're payin' you, and it ain't gonna work.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo's childhood revealed
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Nov 11 - 07:16 PM

Mackenzie King? Tupper? Diefenbaker? Clark? Turner? Martin? Packer? Helm? Christie-Cleek? Fish? Dahmer? Elg? Pearce? Kroll? Vargas? Sagawa? Madoff? Lenihan? Vesco? Schottlaender? Ferguson? Wolf?

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo's childhood revealed
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 Nov 11 - 04:44 PM

Okay. How is this worse than Ronald Reagan? George W. Bush?    Lyndon Johnson? Millard Fillmore? Richard Nixon? Margaret Thatcher? Berlusconi?

:-)

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo's childhood revealed
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Nov 11 - 02:20 PM

THIS is the sort of childhood (and adulthood) Chongo enjoyed and enjoys. THIS is the creature who wants to run for President of the US!!

What more can be said???

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo's childhood revealed
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 29 Nov 11 - 02:11 PM

Oh dear... Your don't suppose our Chongo was ever in Neverland?

If so, he may be a lost cause

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo's childhood revealed
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 29 Nov 11 - 02:07 PM

Oh the inhumanity of you all.   Have a read of this and look at the picture and see if it doesn't melt your stony hearts.

Chimps comfort victims of bullying

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo's childhood revealed
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 Nov 11 - 02:03 PM

That would not be a good situation. Wiener dogs hate chimps, and chimps feel the same about wiener dogs.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo's childhood revealed
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Nov 11 - 02:00 PM

So...put Chongo into a pen full of wiener dogs and see what happens to him.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo's childhood revealed
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 Nov 11 - 01:23 PM

Fantastic video there with the wiener dog. They really go for that sort of thing. Give that dog a half hour alone with the monkey and it will be totally destroyed.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo's childhood revealed
From: Ed T
Date: 29 Nov 11 - 01:21 PM

And, it leads to this

A sad state of affairs, is a cross species upbringing.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo's childhood revealed
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 29 Nov 11 - 01:18 PM

see what I mean

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo's childhood revealed
From: Ed T
Date: 29 Nov 11 - 01:17 PM

It's just so sad

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo's childhood revealed
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 29 Nov 11 - 01:13 PM

I suspect this must be one of those horrible foster placements you hear about now and then. Poor little mite. I bet they had him riding tricycles and smoking cigars and doing all manner of other party tricks for their amusement.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo's childhood revealed
From: GUEST,Chinga Chimp
Date: 29 Nov 11 - 01:12 PM

That's the Madam he went to back home. Notice the pink outfit, the hairdo, and ESPECIALLY the pink thing in his mouth. She turned him into the "man" he is today: "in the closet".

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo's childhood revealed
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 Nov 11 - 01:11 PM

LOL! Yeah, that sounds like what they'd do, all right. But it's the North Side Gorillas. And then there's the South Side Baboons. Oh yeah...this is gonna be nasty. It could even cause a schism in the ranks of the APP.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo's childhood revealed
From: Amos
Date: 29 Nov 11 - 12:58 PM

This explains a thing or two about Mr. C. When the South Side Gorillas hear about this, his name will be mud all over town. They're gonna do posters on every lamp-post in Chicago. "It's nine PM...do you know where your Chimpanzee is?".

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo's childhood revealed
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 Nov 11 - 11:41 AM

Oh dear...

Well, she does look like a nice lady.

Subject: BS: Chongo's childhood revealed
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 29 Nov 11 - 11:34 AM

I found this picture of our beloved Chongo when he was just a little un. It explains much.

Chongo - the early years

I don't know about you guys but this revelation has marked me. What he must have suffered, really. Pink! She dressed him in pink.