BS: Bullying Guide

Subject: RE: BS: Bullying Guide
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 02 Mar 23 - 04:53 PM

I knew it - this thread is just a windup so Dick can blame his bad behavior on other people.

Subject: RE: BS: Bullying Guide
From: The Sandman
Date: 02 Mar 23 - 04:36 PM

I am doing no such thing
but what i have done is give you an example of when it does.The main types of bullying include:

    example here"verbal (includes sexual harassment)"
so sexual harassment which is a form of harassment is bullying

Subject: RE: BS: Bullying Guide
From: The Sandman
Date: 02 Mar 23 - 04:30 PM

Cyberbullying as an Act of Revenge?

Published online by Cambridge University Press: 23 February 2012
Andreas König
,
Mario Gollwitzer
and
Georges Steffgen
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Abstract

Despite significant overlaps between victim status in traditional forms of bullying and cyberbullying, and qualitative results about self-reported reasons for cyberbullying, the role of revenge and retaliation as a motive to engage in acts of cyberbullying has not yet been examined systematically.
Dave the gnome
it would appear that you are again uniformed when you say!Revenge and vengeance have nothing to do with bullying either"
according to people who have studied the subject not enough research has been done on the subject yet.

Subject: RE: BS: Bullying Guide
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 02 Mar 23 - 04:23 PM

Sandman. This is a direct quote from the site you linked.

What's the difference between bullying, harassment and assault?

Bullying differs from harassment and assault in that the latter can result from a small number of fairly serious incidents - which everybody recognises as harassment or assault - whereas bullying tends to be an accumulation of many small incidents over a long period of time. Each incident tends to be trivial, and on its own and out of context does not constitute an offence or grounds for disciplinary or grievance action.

I don't know why you are disputing your own source.

Subject: RE: BS: Bullying Guide
From: The Sandman
Date: 02 Mar 23 - 04:19 PM

This thread was started to make it clear what bullying actually is, so that hopefully it would not occur agaon on this forum
Stilly river sage,your remark
"When you've been around for a long time and when your reputation precedes you, things are different. It's just the way it is. Scolds and rants under these circumstances just make the complainer look petty" quote Stilly river sage
this comes under the category of prejudicial bullying
"Prejudicial bullying arises from a misguided or learned belief that certain groups of people deserve to be treated differently or with less respect."
source
Sherri Gordon
Sherri Gordon, CLC is a published author, certified professional life coach, and bullying prevention expert.

Subject: RE: BS: Bullying Guide
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 02 Mar 23 - 04:18 PM

Revenge and vengeance have nothing to do with bullying either. I am very fortunate in that I have not been bullied. A neighbour once tried but got very short shrift. I have however, as I said before, seen the effects on someone very close and it all but ruined their life. I will, with no exception, stand against bullying. I see very little evidence of it on Mudcat as the moderation team invariably put a stop to it. The only time anyone has tried to intimidate me here was with a sneaky PM threatening to come round to my house. I could have gone to the moderators or even the police but I gave them the benefit of the doubt and just did not respond. I have kept the PM though. Just in case it happens again!

Subject: RE: BS: Bullying Guide
From: The Sandman
Date: 02 Mar 23 - 04:09 PM

Dave the gnome

Bullying and harassment

Bullying can affect anyone. It can happen at school, in the workplace, in the home or online.

The person who is bullied can often feel angry, hurt, humiliated or threatened.

The main types of bullying include:

    verbal (includes sexual harassment)
    physical (includes sexual abuse)
    social
    psychological
    cyberbullying (online bullying)
    bullying at work
source HSE

so the above article makes it clear that bullying does include harassment

Subject: RE: BS: Bullying Guide
From: Donuel
Date: 02 Mar 23 - 04:07 PM

I am speaking legalese and psychology from another country.
It is natural to not understand each other, which is not bullying.

Subject: RE: BS: Bullying Guide
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 02 Mar 23 - 04:06 PM

Ironically, this thread has all of the hallmarks of one that was started to start a fight.

Subject: RE: BS: Bullying Guide
From: Donuel
Date: 02 Mar 23 - 03:47 PM

In court there are no bullying statutes. There is no federal law that specifically applies to bullying. They use different terminology including defamation and libel. However if your point is to end a cycle of revenge and vengeance those are emotions that may be beyond the law or even justice. Bonisarro was ordered by court to pay 20,000 BRL to a journalist he called a whore for years. He has never paid but justice has spoken.

Subject: RE: BS: Bullying Guide
From: The Sandman
Date: 02 Mar 23 - 03:42 PM

Prejudice-based bullying

Bullying behaviour may be a result of prejudice that relates to perceived or actual differences.


Bullying behaviour may be a result of prejudice that relates to perceived or actual differences. This can lead to prejudice and discriminatory language or behaviour, including racism, sexism, homophobia, biphobia or transphobia.

Respect for All states: ‘Prejudice-based bullying is when bullying behaviour is motivated by prejudice based on an individual’s actual or perceived identity; it can be based on characteristics unique to a child or young person’s identity or circumstance.’

source
Respectme
https://respectme.org.uk › Bullyin

According to research, anti-bullying work which clearly addresses the particular needs of vulnerable or minority groups is more effective. In order to respond effectively to incidents as they arise, we must also address the root cause of prejudice.

To address the years of unfavourable treatment experienced by some groups, The Equality Act 2010 makes it unlawful to discriminate against people with a ‘protected characteristic’
. yet another ignorant uniformed post from dave the gnome

Subject: RE: BS: Bullying Guide
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 02 Mar 23 - 03:17 PM

You make my point perfectly Donuel. You have instantly equated stalking and harassment with bullying. Like racism and sexism, bullying is something different and the more other attacks are equated with it, the more the term is diluted.

Subject: RE: BS: Bullying Guide
From: Donuel
Date: 02 Mar 23 - 03:04 PM

Us simple country folk say even a dog knows when it is deliberately kicked.

As to credibility, in law what constitutes a "reasonable person" in a stalking or harassment case, a common prosecution approach is to tie together the issues of credibility and "reasonable person." Specifically, the prosecution's approach and argument might be that if the fact finder/jury determines the victim to be credible in his or her testimony about the stalking or harassment and the impact it had, that determination should also translate into the fact finder concluding that the victim acted as a "reasonable person" would. Conversely, the defense could potentially equate lack of victim credibility with lack of reasonableness.

Common sense usually makes clear who is the victim and who is the attacker.

Subject: RE: BS: Bullying Guide
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 02 Mar 23 - 02:06 PM

It is equally not useful to accept "claims of bullying without evaluating the situation carefully, clearly and without prejudice". The term bullying has become severely and often incorrectly overused. It is not strongly disagreeing, arguing forcefully or even harrasing but something far more insidious and damaging. The more the term is abused, the less credibility true victims have.

Subject: RE: BS: Bullying Guide
From: Donuel
Date: 02 Mar 23 - 02:01 PM

It's not personal, it is business. It is the business of Authoritarianism or the authoritarian personality. One must always remember that the bully suffers such low self esteem/worth that they gain some small satisfaction by trying to take others down to the hellish level of the bully's tortured soul. It is not a delusion of grandeur that drives the bully. It is a self-hatred and envy that poisons their words and actions.

The ammunition of the bully is personified by the Trump rhetoric.
The name calling, accusations, nicknames and the claims of massive evidence that doesn't exist are the small arms weapons of the bully.
The heavy arms and armor are lawsuits and ability to cause harm financially as well as socially.

The spectrum of this pathological behavior ranges from those who believe it is expected of them to the Stalin-Hitler examples.

One might think that the social psychopath causes more destruction but in terms of quantity, destructive interaction mostly comes from the tortured envy of the narcissist. Psychopathic or psychotic serial killers are far more rare phenomenon.

Taking any of a narcissist's bile to heart is a victory for them.
In the larger scheme of sticks and stones a bully is a force of nature like a fart in the wind.

Subject: RE: BS: Bullying Guide
From: Helen
Date: 02 Mar 23 - 01:54 PM

Thanks Sandman.

Tim Field set up the comprehensive and very useful website Tim Field: Bully Online in 1998 and passed away in 2016.

There are many links to useful and informative pages on his site but this is a good place to start:

Am I being bullied

Bullying does not just occur at school, or in the workplace, or online. It can occur in many situations. (Note: Tim Field's website is called Bully Online, but that was because he wanted to put his insights online to help more people, rather than taking phone calls individually from people. The name of the site does not just refer to online bullying.)

In my experience it is not useful to dismiss claims of bullying without evaluating the situation carefully, clearly and without prejudice.

My experience is both as a target of bullying and as a Union delegate supporting others who have been bullied.

Yes, the other newer site is easier to navigate, but for me, finding Tim Field's site and realising that I was being bullied was a turning point in my situation. Yes, the senior manager who was the bully managed to take my job away from me, and yes I suffered mental, emotional and physical consequences from the experience, but when I recovered I felt more capable in recognising bullying and taking positive, proactive steps to deal with it, for myself and for others.

Subject: RE: BS: Bullying Guide
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 02 Mar 23 - 01:19 PM

Thank you for quoting the source, Sandman. Very useful it is too. I have had experience of someone very close being bullied and it annoys me no end when spurious accusations of bullying are thrown around. Not all harrasment is bullying. Crying 'Bully' for everything detracts from the true nature of bullying and does real victims no good at all. Your link took me to this article which explains quite clearly the difference between bullying, harassment and assault.

Out of interest the original site has been superseded by a new one which I found easier to negotiate. There is a good article on bullying here - https://www.familylives.org.uk/browse/61241/bullying,advice-article

Subject: BS: Bullying Guide
From: The Sandman
Date: 02 Mar 23 - 12:34 PM

To Whom it may Concern

Control and Subjugation

    being singled out and treated differently; for instance, everyone else can get away with murder but the moment the target puts a foot wrong - however trivial - action is taken against them;
    being belittled, demeaned and patronised, especially in front of others;
    being humiliated, shouted at and threatened, often in front of others being overloaded with work, or having all their work taken away and replaced with either menial tasks (filing, photocopying, minute taking) or with no work at all finding that their work, and the credit for it, is stolen and plagiarised;
    having responsibility increased but authority removed;
    having annual leave, sickness leave, and (especially) compassionate leave refused
    being denied training necessary to fulfill duties
    having unrealistic goals set, which change as they approach, also deadlines change at short notice, or no notice, and the target only finds out when its too late to do anything about it.
    being the subject of gossip which has the effect of damaging one's reputation.

http://rockmarks.myzen.co.uk/bullyonline.org/old/index-2.html SOURCE