Crime in Our Town 2: Shatner????

Subject: RE: Crime in Our Town 2: Shatner????
From: JenEllen
Date: 21 Apr 02 - 01:17 PM

Sequim: Most commonly pronounced "seck-wee-ummm" by tourists is actually "Skwim"

Puyallup: Decimated with everything from "pull-yall-up" to "poy-ah-lup" is pronounced "Pyoo-al-upp"

Subject: RE: Crime in Our Town 2: Shatner????
From: Celtic Soul
Date: 21 Apr 02 - 09:58 AM

But you left us hanging, LinInKansas! How *do* you pronounce "Sequim" and "Puyallup" (if not phonetically)???

Do tell, do tell!!

Subject: RE: Crime in Our Town 2: Shatner????
From: Lin in Kansas
Date: 21 Apr 02 - 05:19 AM

JenEllen--

No Washington discussion is complete without saying how to pronounce "Sequim" and "Puyallup." But my personal favorite Washington State town has to be "Humptulips." I always wondered where the heck it got its name (and that one's pronounced just like its spelled).

Lin in Kansas

Subject: RE: Crime in Our Town 2: Shatner????
From: The Pooka
Date: 21 Apr 02 - 01:21 AM

LOL HAW HAW HAW woo woooooo / whew / this is justabout the funniest stuff I've read on this here 'Cat & that's sayin' something / thanks JenEllen

Subject: RE: Crime in Our Town 2: Shatner????
From: Celtic Soul
Date: 20 Apr 02 - 10:20 PM

JenEllen and JohnInKansas:

Oh, I *love* the sticks, don't get me wrong. Mostly, I live where I live because my honey needs to be near the techie jobs, family is local here, and I don't want to drive 2 hours to work. I *do* know folks who do that sort of a commute though...1 1/2 to 2 hours from Fredericksburg VA to the DC area.

I will most definitely retire to someplace a lot more rural. Keep a space open for me, I'm coming! :D

Subject: RE: Crime in Our Town 2: Shatner????
From: Amos
Date: 20 Apr 02 - 07:05 PM

LOL, LH!!! Amazing what work appears for idle hands, isn't it?

Ya can't let it get TOO dull, after all.

No wonder they report paper ears to the police!!

LOL!

Subject: RE: Crime in Our Town 2: Shatner????
From: Little Hawk
Date: 20 Apr 02 - 06:28 PM

Sounds like Skaneateles, New York, where most of the "news" was nasty gossip about someone or the latest rumour about 50 "card-carrying communists" infiltrating the House of Representatives and/or the Senate and/or the Joint Chiefs of Staff...

But one time they really did get some news there. A few Hells Angels came through town, stopped on Main Street, and got into an altercation with the local jerk kids who used to hang out downtown looking for excitement (and seldom finding it). The Angels got mad and wrecked a bit of public property and generally cleared the street, as the terrified citizenry hid behind their locked doors. The one cop in town could NOT be found by anyone. He had mysteriously disappeared...for about 3 hours. The Angels soon left, but yelled as they were leaving that they would be back "next year" with their whole club to "finish the job".

Sadly, they did not come. Too bad. That town needed a good wake-up call, as far as I was concerned. :-) It was time they found out who the real enemy was...

- LH

Subject: RE: Crime in Our Town 2: Shatner????
From: JenEllen
Date: 20 Apr 02 - 04:48 PM

Yes, Art, that is the same Roslyn. The town where the Town Hall and the library are one building, with a cord draped neatly from the bell on the roof down to a placard on the porch reading "Fire Alarm" (well, it IS right across the street from the fire station!!)

PS: I once had a tourist try and tell me that Cle Elum was pronounced "Clay Ah-LOOM" --she swore up and down it was French....(for the uninitiated, the town is pronounced 'Cle ELL-umm', and they are not known for their French heritage)

Subject: RE: Crime in Our Town 2: Shatner????
From: artbrooks
Date: 20 Apr 02 - 04:36 PM

Wasn't Roslyn the place where the outside shots for Northern Exposure were filmed? And I once heard that area was famous for its spelling bee winners...after all, once you spell Wenatchee and Cle Elum there are no challenges!!

Art
Former Steilacoom resident

Subject: RE: Crime in Our Town 2: Shatner????
From: Amos
Date: 20 Apr 02 - 04:14 PM

Why was a six-year-old falling off a dryer grounds for calling 911? Histrionic, inexperienced Mom? Or was the dryer up on the roof?

A

Subject: RE: Crime in Our Town 2: Shatner????
From: Amos
Date: 20 Apr 02 - 03:52 PM

ROTFLMAO!! LEJ, you TOO funny!

A

Subject: RE: Crime in Our Town 2: Shatner????
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 20 Apr 02 - 03:30 PM

A man wearing paper ears was making gestures to someone in a university dorm window

For God's sake, what kind of a police state are you living in, where this kind of activity is a crime?! Isn't the freedom to do this guaranteed in the Bill of Rights?!

Subject: RE: Crime in Our Town 2: Shatner????
From: Amos
Date: 20 Apr 02 - 03:23 PM

Oh, a townie-gownie thing, I guess!! Any local would know what was meant! Thanks!!!

A.

Subject: RE: Crime in Our Town 2: Shatner????
From: JenEllen
Date: 20 Apr 02 - 03:19 PM

Ah, please allow me to translate from modern English to modern Ellensburgian!
Several large gatherings (frat parties) were reported in North Ellensburg (the university)

Subject: RE: Crime in Our Town 2: Shatner????
From: Amos
Date: 20 Apr 02 - 03:07 PM

Large gatherings of what???

Killer bees? Little grey guys with pointy eyes? Feral sheep? The next wave of cows readying their escape north? (Once you find their staging area, you can undermine the whole operation!).

LOL!!

A

Subject: RE: Crime in Our Town 2: Shatner????
From: JenEllen
Date: 20 Apr 02 - 02:26 PM

Celtic Soul: I've lived in cities too, and that is the reason why I find this stuff so utterly ridiculous. It doesn't make it any easier that the newspaper comes out at 4 in the afternoon (all the school kids should concentrate on school and SLEEP in the mornings --not deliver newspapers) So we wait until they get out of school for delivery of news that's usually a day or two old anyhow...Nobody seems to mind. (for the finance world--we're close enough to Seattle)

Well, as of yesterday, front page news was 'pollination': "A bee gets an early jump on pollination Thursday afternoon on a blooming tree in Ellensburg. The tree is located along Ruby Street at the intersection of Fourth Avenue" Give me strength! But the Police Blotter gems were as follows:

According to KITTCOM documents, the following were some of the situations reported to emergency services from 4-18 to 4-19:
* A Ronald resident reported his neighbor's junk getting on his property
* A 6-year old child fell off a dryer on 6th Avenue
* Someone riding a motorcycle was doing more than 100mph on Dry Creek Road
* Several large gatherings were reported in North Ellensburg
* A SR970 resident reported that his neighbor's dog just killed his chickens

Subject: RE: Crime in Our Town 2: Shatner????
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 20 Apr 02 - 12:25 PM

Celtic Soul - I don't know about now, but an old issue of Smithsonian magazine (or was it Invention and Technology?) credits an accountant at an Arkansas Chicken Factory with the first use of a "network" computer to send the accounts back to the home office. Seems he jury-rigged his "calculator" so he could spend more time with the chickens(?).

Lots of good stuff happens "out in the sticks w/ the hicks."

John

Subject: RE: Crime in Our Town 2: Shatner????
From: Celtic Soul
Date: 20 Apr 02 - 12:18 PM

Little Hawk? Do you really think it's Bill's role modeling keeping all the Trekkies from going on a crime spree? I had always thought one of the personality traits of Trekkies was their pragmatism. Years of being beaten up for being little and geeky, and all. I should know...being 4'10" and a con goer in my younger years. :P

And, JenEllen...I don't know whether to laugh my derrier off or start packing to move there! I *wish* the DC area sported such ridiculously funny crime statistics.

Any technical/Computer and finance related jobs out that way??? :D

Subject: RE: Crime in Our Town 2: Shatner????
From: catspaw49
Date: 20 Apr 02 - 08:17 AM

ROTFLMAO!!!!!!! Positively GREAT!!!! I was going to copy it and comment on each one, but they're so funny in their own right I can't do it! I think some may be related though...........

The hay on fire was stolen from the Robinson Canyon barn and was being used for a barbeque of steak and chicken. The steaks from the guy in the van came from the the herd of wandering cattle and the chickens had been stolen which was what had the roosters all fired up.

It really is amazing ain't it? Here's a tidbit from the Columbus news.....Hit and Run Ran and Hit

Spaw

Subject: RE: Crime in Our Town 2: Shatner????
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 20 Apr 02 - 05:44 AM

Important references might be missed (and jokes misinterpreted) without a link to the original thread at:

BS: Crime Spree in 'Our Town'!

John

Subject: RE: Crime in Our Town 2: Shatner????
From: Amos
Date: 20 Apr 02 - 05:41 AM

I hate it when that happens! I'll never forget the scene in a Mexican town during market day when traffic was backed up for blocks in all directions -- by a single goldarned cow who was running around in the intersection, dodging four men and refusing to be caught or controlled. And she was definitely getting the best of it, too!

A

Subject: RE: Crime in Our Town 2: Shatner????
From: Lin in Kansas
Date: 20 Apr 02 - 05:37 AM

Amos, when I read about the "paper ears" and saw the Great Bill's name in the title of the thread, I naturally assumed that the guy with the ears was...you guessed it....had to be...Spock, of course.

JenEllen, living in the wilds of Kansas, I can certainly relate to the report of the horse-and-buggy accident. Our buggies wear a large day-glo orange triangle on their rear ends, but people driving the back roads near Yoder have been known to assume those were targets, not warning symbols.

Ah, Ellensburg. I miss the Northwest sometimes.

Only 32 cows? My son was woken in the middle of the night recently by a bigger herd than that stampeding through his apartment parking lot. He went out at 3AM to help herd them back into the pasture they'd escaped from

See the "Advice for Midwest Travelers" thread for more flatland strangenesses.

Lin in Kansas

Subject: RE: Crime in Our Town 2: Shatner????
From: Hrothgar
Date: 20 Apr 02 - 05:03 AM

Mario, has anybody reported an old triangle going jingle-jangle on the banks of that canal?

Subject: RE: Crime in Our Town 2: Shatner????
From: Amos
Date: 20 Apr 02 - 02:00 AM

Vell, it does scheem dere is some kindt of nachural affinity, Leedle 'Awk, between der Schatner archetype (und dose who dramatizhe it) and the noose items vich Miss Ellen has sho kindtly profided. Der paper ear cashe is particularly represhentative uff der proclivity for facial artifacts among this particular class of 'herd mentality' phenomena. Und der proof is found int der local obsewrvations made in Lower Peoh, very ashtute, I muscht say! Ve are continuink to schtudy der meaning of der shymbolism in der case of the theft of part of a bear. It needs to be clarified; perhaps we could impose on the local represhentative to determine vich part uff der bear vuz involffed!

Liebenscheiss

Subject: RE: Crime in Our Town 2: Shatner????
From: Little Hawk
Date: 20 Apr 02 - 12:48 AM

The Shatner connection, of course, is a key factor in reducing crime. It is well known that the incidence of crime at Star Trek conventions is virtually nil. Why? Because of Big Bill! He is a role model for all in this respect. I think that Jenellen was very wise to draw attention to the Shatner connection in her thread title, and I am surprised that more people have not expounded upon it up till now...

the esteemed Herr Liebenscheiss, for example, would have much to say about this that could serve to illuminate the discussion. I do hope he gets time to drop in and share his thoughts with all of us.

Kittitas Valley is clearly in need of a visit from the Great Man (Shatner, that is) ASAP. Perhaps we can arrange a full-blown convention, and get crazed Trekkies from all over the Universe to descent upon Kittitas Valley for a whole week! This would do wonders for the economy, and a healthy economy always helps to reduce crime too!

I am going to convene a special meeting at the WSSBA, to see what we can do about it. Stay posted!

- LH

Subject: RE: Crime in Our Town 2: Shatner????
From: Amos
Date: 19 Apr 02 - 02:51 PM

"Paper eaaaarlobes
Paper eaaaarlobes....
Oh, how sweet those earlobes seemed to meeeeee..."

Didn't Patti Page do one on that theme back in the late 40's??

Well, I guess humor's where ya find it...

A

Subject: RE: Crime in Our Town 2: Shatner????
From: JenEllen
Date: 19 Apr 02 - 02:51 PM

Dunno, SharonA, Amergin might be right.... I don't make the news m'am, I only report it.

Subject: RE: Crime in Our Town 2: Shatner????
From: Amergin
Date: 19 Apr 02 - 02:37 PM

a wife beater shirt is basically what used to be called muscle shirts...white cotton shirts with no sleaves...think they started to be called that because on shows like COPS all the wife beaters wore them...

Subject: RE: Crime in Our Town 2: Shatner????
From: Amos
Date: 19 Apr 02 - 02:33 PM

There's gotta be an agent provacateur in that herd somewhere!! Mebbe one of those fiberglass jobs?

"Low if you can, moo if you must
We're bound for Wenatchee, watch out for our dust!
When you wake up tomorrow, your cows will be gone,
Go NORTH!! to Wenatchee, the great rush is on!!>p>LOL!!

A

Subject: RE: Crime in Our Town 2: Shatner????
From: SharonA
Date: 19 Apr 02 - 02:30 PM

JenEllen: What sort of a fashion style is a "wife-beater shirt"?

Subject: RE: Crime in Our Town 2: Shatner????
From: JenEllen
Date: 19 Apr 02 - 01:52 PM

That's the funniest part, people DO "Do sompin".

There is a woman renting space at our gallery to produce "Police Blotter Art"-- she cuts out her favourite events and paints pictures to go with them. There is an entire Ellensburg Postcard collection of her work. My favourite is one entitled "Two children were reported eary Saturday morning playing in their yard"

Not to mention the horrible songs that get bandied about the lab (hey, I work there, remember?)
Flyboy, Leave my Cows Alone
The Watson Road Massacre
Passing water on Water Street
He's not the Green River Killer
and
North To Wenatchee (in 32-part harmony with a lot of mooooo-ing)

Subject: RE: Crime in Our Town 2: Shatner????
From: Amergin
Date: 19 Apr 02 - 01:45 PM

Boy, JE, your town sounds busy.....rofl....not as busy as the town I live in....one of the local things was a safeway employee whose girlfriend hired her nephew to kill his wife....plus there are the various wife beatings...husband beatings(across the street...the woman beats her crank dealing husband)....drunk and obnoxious (you can get away with this one in Astoria, OR..the cops there just laugh and send you on your way...just so long as you are not destructive)...drunk driving...breakins....80 year old people getting caught shoplifting....

better than what it used to be....used to be cross burnings also...

Subject: RE: Crime in Our Town 2: Shatner????
From: Amos
Date: 19 Apr 02 - 01:36 PM

I'm sure the guy with the paper ears was probably the real Green River Killer, or else the one who counted that herd of cows... seems obvious, doesn't it??

A

Subject: RE: Crime in Our Town 2: Shatner????
From: Sorcha
Date: 19 Apr 02 - 01:31 PM

LOL, Jen! That is usually the way it is here! That is why the 2 murders, armed robbery and boyfriend shooting all in a month was so unusual. Oh well, let's all go hang out at the Blue Bird Cafe and have a beer.

Subject: RE: Crime in Our Town 2: Shatner????
From: MMario
Date: 19 Apr 02 - 01:25 PM

Better then the stuff from my home town

* whale in the canal

* submarine in the canal

* shark in the canal

* puddle at the corner of Tupper road and River Street

* sailboat in the canal

Subject: RE: Crime in Our Town 2: Shatner????
From: Amos
Date: 19 Apr 02 - 01:18 PM

ROTFLMAO!! Rampant anarchy!! Someone oughta DO sompn!!

A

Subject: Crime in Our Town 2: Shatner????
From: JenEllen
Date: 19 Apr 02 - 12:59 PM

Where is Shatner when you really need him??? If he wants 911 action, he should move a little further west!!

After reading the Crime in Our Town thread, I thought I'd share these. Our local newspaper has a delightful section entitled "Police Blotter" (the only real reason ANY of us get the paper here--so we can go: "Whaaaaa????") that records all of the criminal activity in Kittitas Valley, as recorded by the 911 service of KITTCOM. Here are some staff favourites from the bulletin board at work:

Ellensburg 911---Crime in Our Town:

* A large hay pile was reported on fire on Wilson Creek Road
* A man wearing paper ears was making gestures to someone in a university dorm window
* A Chestnut Street woman was throwing wood at her neighbor's porch
* An elderly man with a can was seen walking down Pine Street. He appeared disoriented
* An 18th Avenue resident reported his neighbor's dog got into his house, but it left after he hit it in the head with a bucket
* A woman was injured in a horse-and-buggy accident on Watson Road
* A caller from Smithson Road reported airplanes flying so low they were harassing his cattle
* A caller had located part of a stolen Smokey the Bear sign in a dorm window
* Two horses were loose on the Ronald roadway
* A man was seen urinating on a Water Street fence
* Someone reported seeing employees of an Ellensburg grocery store chasing a man carrying beer
* A Chamith Lane resident reported their neighbor's roosters were crowing
* A woman, talking to herself of spiritualism, was using profanity in a SR906 pancake house
* A man wearing a wife-beater shirt threatened to shoot people at an 18th Ave party
* A Roslyn resident reported a nearby restaurant had installed a new noisy refrigeration unit that was keeping them up all night
* An Ellensburg woman reported a man driving by her shouted "I am NOT the Green River Killer!"
* A man was seen selling steaks out of a van on 3rd Ave.
* One ton of hay was taken from a Robinson Canyon barn
* A Lower Peoh Point woman reported her husband "Went nuts."
* A herd of 32 cows was reported on the Canyon Road, they were heading north.

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