BS: Paradoxical statements and oxymoronica

Subject: RE: BS: Paradoxical statements and oxymoronica
From: Bill D
Date: 13 Sep 06 - 10:27 PM

from Ashleigh Brilliant:

"As long as I have you, I can endure all the troubles you inevitably bring."

Subject: RE: BS: Paradoxical statements and oxymoronica
From: Joe_F
Date: 13 Sep 06 - 10:15 PM

Whatever has "science" in its name isn't.

Subject: RE: BS: Paradoxical statements and oxymoronica
From: Bill D
Date: 13 Sep 06 - 09:58 PM

"If the lessons of history teach us anything it is that nobody learns the lessons that history teaches us."

Subject: RE: BS: Paradoxical statements and oxymoronica
From: dick greenhaus
Date: 13 Sep 06 - 09:10 PM

The trouble with computer programing is that constants aren't and variables won't. The only way to lose data is to save what you're doing.

Subject: RE: BS: Paradoxical statements and oxymoronica
From: Elmer Fudd
Date: 13 Sep 06 - 06:04 PM

If you aren't confused by quantum physics then you really haven't understood it. -- Niels Bohr

What most of us are after when we have our picture taken is a natural-looking picture that doesn't resemble us. -- Peg Bracken

Too many pieces of music finish too long after the end. -- Igor Stravinsky

Elmer

Subject: RE: BS: Paradoxical statements and oxymoronica
From: Mrrzy
Date: 13 Sep 06 - 05:45 PM

Also, heard on a movie review - "performances in this film were uniformly outstanding."
I sat there and thought... UNIFORMLY outstanding? Uniformly OUTSTANDING? I mean, if they were uniform, then none stood out...

I felt like the android (Norman! Coordinate!) in that Star Trek where he's first told that "everything Mudd says is a lie" and then Mudd, wickedly twinkling, says "I am lying..."

Subject: RE: BS: Paradoxical statements and oxymoronica
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 13 Sep 06 - 03:28 PM

Civil Servant.....

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Paradoxical statements and oxymoronica
From: Mo the caller
Date: 13 Sep 06 - 10:52 AM

Mr. Happy, what was that one where you used algebra to prove that 1=2?

Subject: RE: BS: Paradoxical statements and oxymoronica
From: Mo the caller
Date: 13 Sep 06 - 10:49 AM

Heard this on radio4. Dont suppose its a paradox or oxymoron but anyway...

What is the difference between an entomologist and an etymologist?
An etymolologist knows

Subject: RE: BS: Paradoxical statements and oxymoronica
From: GUEST,Bruce Baillie
Date: 13 Sep 06 - 10:39 AM

...Take my advice, NEVER listen to people who give you advice...

Subject: RE: BS: Paradoxical statements and oxymoronica
From: GUEST,Mrr
Date: 13 Sep 06 - 10:14 AM

Well, if we're going to get political...

Military intelligence.

Subject: RE: BS: Paradoxical statements and oxymoronica
From: Grab
Date: 13 Sep 06 - 08:23 AM

Any country with the word "democratic" in its title *isn't*.

Subject: RE: BS: Paradoxical statements and oxymoronica
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 13 Sep 06 - 01:38 AM

I thought strings all needed at least twelve dimensions...

Subject: RE: BS: Paradoxical statements and oxymoronica
From: John O'L
Date: 13 Sep 06 - 01:10 AM

I doubt that you can find another paradox to equal the Christian doctrine of the Trinity.

What about a one-dimensional string?

Subject: RE: BS: Paradoxical statements and oxymoronica
From: Elmer Fudd
Date: 12 Sep 06 - 10:47 PM

DougR, if the mistake I made was reading a book, then I've made an awful lot of 'em.

a few more:

Everybody knows how to raise children except the people who have them. -- P.J. O'Rourke.

I wasn't really naked. I simply didn't have any clothes on. -- Josephine Baker

You must understand that this is not a woman's dress I'm wearing. It's a man's dress.
-- David Bowie, on being asked why he wore a dress

Subject: RE: BS: Paradoxical statements and oxymoronica
From: GUEST
Date: 12 Sep 06 - 10:08 PM

Microsoft Works = oxymoron

Paradox here.

Subject: RE: BS: Paradoxical statements and oxymoronica
From: bobad
Date: 12 Sep 06 - 10:03 PM

You can't get there from here = paradox

Married life = oxymoron

Subject: RE: BS: Paradoxical statements and oxymoronica
From: GUEST
Date: 12 Sep 06 - 09:59 PM

Well, it's six of one and a dozen of the other.

Subject: RE: BS: Paradoxical statements and oxymoronica
From: Joe_F
Date: 12 Sep 06 - 09:02 PM

If there was twelve cows lying in a field, and only one of them was standing up, that one would be the bull. (Possibly the original Irish bull.)

Subject: RE: BS: Paradoxical statements and oxymoronica
From: Don(Wyziwyg)T
Date: 12 Sep 06 - 07:12 PM

"I am a consistent liar"    ZENO'S PARADOX, reputed to have sent early computers into catatonia when they were tasked to analyse it(probably apochryphal).

Don T.

Subject: RE: BS: Paradoxical statements and oxymoronica
From: Mr Happy
Date: 12 Sep 06 - 06:58 PM

...........recall the maths ones when doing 'O' levels aeons ago.

Any whole number divided by itself = 1

so 1/1 = 1

& 0/0 = 1

infinity/infinity = 1

Also indices or 'powers' of numbers,

any number raised to power 0 = 1

so a billion squillion to power/index 0 = 1

& 0 to power 0 = 1

Division:

any number divided by 0 = infinity

1/0 = infinity


Zero divided by anything = 0

except 0/0 = 1

Subject: RE: BS: Paradoxical statements and oxymoronica
From: frogprince
Date: 12 Sep 06 - 03:07 PM

I doubt that you can find another paradox to equal the Christian doctrine of the Trinity.

Subject: RE: BS: Paradoxical statements and oxymoronica
From: Elmer Fudd
Date: 12 Sep 06 - 03:04 PM

Yeah, Yogi Berra was the king of the paradox.

Nobody goes there anymore. It's too crowded.

Subject: RE: BS: Paradoxical statements and oxymoronica
From: GUEST,Mrr
Date: 12 Sep 06 - 02:52 PM

The only person on the scene missing was the jack of hearts (Bob Dylan)

Subject: RE: BS: Paradoxical statements and oxymoronica
From: GUEST,Mrr
Date: 12 Sep 06 - 02:40 PM

Anything by Yogi Berra (if you can't hear the difference you must be blind)

Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

Subject: RE: BS: Paradoxical statements and oxymoronica
From: Bill D
Date: 12 Sep 06 - 01:14 PM

All sweeping generalizations are suspect and misleading.

Subject: RE: BS: Paradoxical statements and oxymoronica
From: dick greenhaus
Date: 12 Sep 06 - 11:48 AM

His depth is all on the surface. Down deep, he's really very shallow.

Subject: RE: BS: Paradoxical statements and oxymoronica
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 12 Sep 06 - 02:28 AM

The meek shall inherit the earth, if thats alright with the rest of you.

eric

Subject: RE: BS: Paradoxical statements and oxymoronica
From: DougR
Date: 12 Sep 06 - 12:46 AM

Elmer: I think the mistake you may have made is reading a book.

DougR

Subject: RE: BS: Paradoxical statements and oxymoronica
From: GUEST,Rowan
Date: 11 Sep 06 - 11:58 PM

A favourite paradox is
"All things are relative."

Cheers, Rowan

Subject: RE: BS: Paradoxical statements and oxymoronica
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Sep 06 - 11:18 PM

Ain't Oxymoronica Penelopre Rutledge's neice or nephew or something?

Subject: RE: BS: Paradoxical statements and oxymoronica
From: Bill D
Date: 11 Sep 06 - 11:17 PM

"Poetry builds a great truth out of many small lies. Politics builds a great lie out of many small truths."

                  Paul Lutus

Subject: RE: BS: Paradoxical statements and oxymoronica
From: John O'L
Date: 11 Sep 06 - 11:12 PM

Please don't be offended by what I'm about to say... reminds me of "I'm not racist, but..."

"Lady Thatcher" is one of my favourite oxymorons.

Subject: RE: BS: Paradoxical statements and oxymoronica
From: Elmer Fudd
Date: 11 Sep 06 - 10:59 PM

Holy Toledo, Joe F! Where'd you get all those?

For prying into human affairs, none are equal to those whom it does not concern. -- Victor Hugo

People are least sure when they are most dogmatic. -- John Kenneth Galbraith.

There is more to life than having everything -- Maurice Sendak

I am deeply superficial. -- Ava Gardner

I think we all have a need to know what we do not need to know. -- William Safire.

When someone says, "Please don't be offended by what I'm about to say," it is a surety that it is going to be something offensive.

Subject: RE: BS: Paradoxical statements and oxymoronica
From: Joe_F
Date: 11 Sep 06 - 09:51 PM

Most of the evil in the world comes from nature, and most of the ugliness comes from art.

Deficient contact with reality is called mania. Excessived contact with reality is called depression.

Sex is an impediment to reproduction whose function is to complicate life.

Be sincere: fool yourself first.

If there were enough doctors, we'd all be sick.

First you go to hell, then your body rots, and then you die.

Two wrongs don't make a right, but three lefts do.

Too lively, and you're dead.

Every number is very small: almost all numbers are very much larger.

The distinction between qualitative and quantitative differences is one of degree.

Blessed are they who expect nothing, for surely they shall not be disappointed.

We go straight from being smarter than the old folks to being wiser than the young folks.

Eager to please, and a nuisance. Easy to please, and a comfort.

We hate those whom we cannot afford to despise, and we love those whom we cannot afford to hate.

Men are luckier than women: they marry later and die sooner.

A bank will lend you money if you can prove you don't need it.

"That is true, but it is not important."
"Importance is not important. Truth is."

When a Scotsman moves to England, he raises the average of intelligence in both countries.

The things you think when you're not thinking!

Ten bums lay in the sun; a passer-by offered a dollar to whichever was laziest; nine jumped up to claim it.

Masochist: "Hurt me!"
Sadist: "No."

This is the best of all possible worlds, and everything in it is a necessary evil.

What is fascinating in a mirror? A world I am not at the center of.

The most valuable losers are ahead most of the time.

Prose: Earth is turning us into its shadow.
Poetry: The sun is setting.

I wish I had never been born -- but who has such luck? Not one in ten thousand.

To say we have a duty to believe something is to give evidence against it.

I can state with complete confidence that I'll never amount to anything.

Does this question entail that there exists at least one question?

No human is truly alien; that is, no alien is truly human.

You find out what's really wrong with an idea when it succeeds.

A secret is something you tell one person at a time.

It is the duty of a patriot to protect his country from its government.

I reckon there's more things told than are true,
And more things true than are told.

"I need a man who can say no to me when I talk nonsense. Are you that man?" "No."

If you handle other people's money, you must pay yourself well to protect yourself from the temptation to steal.

It is easier to forgive people who bore us than people we bore.

The trouble with competitions is that somebody wins them.

The difference between theory and practice: in theory there is no difference; in practice there is.

Unethical advertising uses falsehoods to deceive the public; ethical advertising uses truths.

The complete lack of evidence is the surest sign that the conspiracy is working.

The floggings will continue until morale improves.

To be omniscient, one must know a great deal that is not so.

Let S be the sentence "If S is true, then I am the Pope". Suppose S is true; then if S is true, I am the Pope; but S is true, so I am the Pope. Hence, the supposition that S is true implies that I am the Pope, which is just the statement of S. Hence, S is true. Hence, I am the Pope.

Subject: BS: Paradoxical statements and oxymoronica
From: Elmer Fudd
Date: 11 Sep 06 - 08:16 PM

I have been reading a book about paradoxes and oxymorons, "Oxymoronica," by Mardy Grothe, filled with wonderful quotations. There have been threads with two-word oxymorons, but none with full sentences with paradoxical or oxymoronic meanings.

Paradox: from ancient Greek, "para," = beyond, and "doxa,"= opinion
Oxymoron: also from ancient Greek, "oxus," sharp or pointed, and "oros" = dull or stupid

The author writes, "Paradox is a particularly powerful device to ensnare truth because it concisely illuminates the contradictions that are at the very heart of our lives. It engages our hearts and minds because, beyond its figurative employment, paradox has always been at the center of the human condition. 'Man's real life,' wrote Carl Jung, 'consists of a complex of inexorable opposites—day and night, birth and death, happiness and misery, good and evil. If it were not so, existence would come to an end.' Paradox was a fact of life long before it became a literary device. Who among us has not experienced something ugly in everything beautiful, something true in everything false, something female in everything male, or, as King Claudius says in Shakespeare's Hamlet, 'mirth in funeral' and 'dirge in marriage?'"

A handful of quotations from the book:

Melancholy is the pleasure of being sad. –- Victor Hugo

Fewer things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example. –- Mark Twain.

The greatest power available to man is not to use it. –- Meister Eckhart

Painting is easy when you don't know how, but very difficult when you do.-- Edgar Degas

You'd be surprised how much it costs to look this cheap. –- Dolly Parton

I knew her before she was a virgin. –- Oscar Levant, about Doris Day

Paradoxes anyone?

Elmer