BS: The international urinal incident

Subject: RE: BS: The international urinal incident
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 21 Sep 06 - 11:07 AM

Oh, a bidet... oh, a bidet...


A bidet is here again....

Nuffink loike a noice clean bum!!


LTS - who flooded an Italian bathroom with a bidet earlier this year....

: ]

Subject: RE: BS: The international urinal incident
From: Charley Noble
Date: 21 Sep 06 - 08:57 AM

Bobad-

Very complex!

Inquiring minds may also wonder how many absent minded people have critically burned their undercarriage while settling onto a bidet? Are there statistics or are such things suppressed by capitalist corporate power?

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: BS: The international urinal incident
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 21 Sep 06 - 06:35 AM

But would they ever catch it - they haven't won The Cup, have they?

Subject: RE: BS: The international urinal incident
From: Dave (the ancient mariner)
Date: 21 Sep 06 - 06:21 AM

All the money spent on these high tech urinals, you would think they could have added an Arsenal too?

Subject: RE: BS: The international urinal incident
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 21 Sep 06 - 05:38 AM

I thought he was Defenestrated...

Subject: RE: BS: The international urinal incident
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 20 Sep 06 - 05:50 AM

And didn't Archduke Ferdinand get shot in the Urinals?

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: The international urinal incident
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 20 Sep 06 - 05:42 AM

Bobad - that is disgusting... I haven't seen such filth and depravity on the Mudcat for ages.... I am outraged and may consider taking action against postings like that...












Not one of those blokes washed their hands!!!

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: The international urinal incident
From: open mike
Date: 20 Sep 06 - 12:40 AM

perhaps they can be accessed on the way back machine?
google it...archive dot org i think...

Subject: RE: BS: The international urinal incident
From: Donuel
Date: 19 Sep 06 - 09:57 PM

my kids are in bed and you guys are making me laugh

Thanks for your concern, perhaps what irked me the most was that my wife was not concerned in the least. Since she earns the most I have learned a sexist lesson that many housewives must know all too well.

I can rebuild - we have the technocrats. With the indoor season arriving I will have time to spend.

Its always time to change no matter what the cost.
What survives always outweighs what is lost.

Subject: RE: BS: The international urinal incident
From: Azizi
Date: 19 Sep 06 - 09:23 PM

Donuel, I also hope you have copies of your illustrations. If not, I'm glad Bill has some copies. I hope that other folks here saved some copies, too.

If you really lost such high quality work, that's a terrible loss.

I sympathize with you.

Subject: RE: BS: The international urinal incident
From: wlisk
Date: 19 Sep 06 - 08:58 PM

NEW YORK -- A public school teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy International Airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, a slide rule and a calculator.

At a morning press conference, Attorney General Alberto Gonzales said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-gebra movement.

He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction. "Al-gebra is a problem for us," Gonzales said. "They desire solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in search of absolute values.

They use secret code names like 'x' and 'y' and refer to themselves as 'unknowns', but we have determined they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country.

As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, 'There are 3 sides to every triangle'."

When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, he would have given us more fingers and toes."

White House aides told reporters they could not recall a more intelligent or profound statement by the president

Subject: RE: BS: The international urinal incident
From: bobad
Date: 19 Sep 06 - 08:49 PM

Urinal Humour

Subject: RE: BS: The international urinal incident
From: Charley Noble
Date: 19 Sep 06 - 07:59 PM

Oh dear, what can the matter be,
Bush and Amadijad locked in the lavatory;
They were there from Sunday to Saturday;
Nobody knew they were there!

They were pissed and you would be too,
The push-button lock jammed and there was naught to do;
Amadijab prayed to Allah but couldn't get through;
There was no justice en lieu.

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: BS: The international urinal incident
From: robomatic
Date: 19 Sep 06 - 06:03 PM

Don'l / Hakman:

I'm sorry to hear that. May your imagination continue to bear fruit in whatever environment you choose.

Robo

Subject: RE: BS: The international urinal incident
From: Bill D
Date: 19 Sep 06 - 05:58 PM

Donuel...surely YOU have copies of your work? I have some.

Subject: RE: BS: The international urinal incident
From: Donuel
Date: 19 Sep 06 - 09:33 AM

No more illustrations.
My website and illustrations that I spent 10 years building were erased by Lycos.com . They stopped accepting my payments and shut it down.
I was hoping that some saved material by fellow catters could be found but they too somehow got erased. c'est la guerre.

Subject: RE: BS: The international urinal incident
From: Amos
Date: 19 Sep 06 - 09:16 AM

I find it very funny, but too close tot hte truth,

A

Subject: RE: BS: The international urinal incident
From: robomatic
Date: 19 Sep 06 - 01:43 AM

Where's your usual illustration?

Subject: RE: BS: The international urinal incident
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 19 Sep 06 - 01:41 AM

Stop it, my sides ache...

Subject: RE: BS: The international urinal incident
From: Barry Finn
Date: 19 Sep 06 - 01:34 AM

Save a tree, piss on a Bush

Nice story Donuel, I just wish it weren't true.

Barry

Subject: RE: BS: The international urinal incident
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 19 Sep 06 - 01:16 AM

Donuel, get to a doctor you seriously need help.

eric

Subject: RE: BS: The international urinal incident
From: Donuel
Date: 18 Sep 06 - 10:34 PM

If they ever do meet face to face, I imagine it will be a real pissing contest.

For a SNL sketch I would have them accidentaly recognize each other at adjacent urinals. They would both turn in surprise and voila...war. Gross, but better than nukes.

Subject: RE: BS: The international urinal incident
From: Bill D
Date: 18 Sep 06 - 10:14 PM

"This is my rifle;
This is my gun.
This is for fighting
And this is for fun."

guns at 40 3 paces.

Subject: RE: BS: The international urinal incident
From: Ebbie
Date: 18 Sep 06 - 09:17 PM

I can't speak for anyone else but I don't find your story funny, Don.

Subject: BS: The international urinal incident
From: Donuel
Date: 18 Sep 06 - 08:38 PM

I, Donuel Robeson, may only be a lowly UN bathroom attendant but I knew that never before had a US President faced so many international threats while addressing the United Nations. Security was tighter than I had ever seen.

The President of Iran stated that he wanted to meet President Bush face to face. George said it wasn't going to happen. UN protocol experts assured everyone that no contact between the two presidents would occur and that a minimum of 2 hours would separate the speeches of the two presidents. Fox reporters have said that Amadijad was virtually stalking President Bush by asking to have a conversation with George W.

The differences between the two men are only highlighted by their commonalites. They both took power with the help of a religious conservative right wing base, they both believe in some form of End Times and they both share the same narrow distance between their eyes.

In the course of human events, no matter how momentous, nature calls.
As it did when at the urging of an impatient Amadijad the Iranian Presidential security detail pushed past two secret service agents outside the VIP men's room. Inside they confronted no fewer than eleven secret service agents cordoning off the urinals with the President of the United States peering over his shoulder like a deer in a Peterbuilt's headlights.

Amadijad had timed his arrival to the men's room poorly after all the coffee he had on the plane. He was already going for his zipper when his progress was unexpectedly blocked.

No one knows who said it but someone yelled gun. Perhaps it was the secret service agent who saw Amadijad reaching for something in his pocket. Since George's nickname among the secret service rest room detail is "derringer" It was even less likely that George was spotted reaching for anything menacing. But suddenly nearly a dozen guns were drawn and shouts in Farsi, Persian and English cacaphonicly echoed in the cavernous bathroom.

Whether it was out of rage or just being startled, the Iranian President let loose in a stream that showered several secret service agents. President Bush had a somewhat opposite effect but easily rectified with change of clothes that always accompanies the President along with the launch controls for thermonuclear war.

Maybe he was jostled but it is said that the Iranian President deliberately delivered a mortar trajectory that went over the shoulder of Officer Hammond, the chief of the bathroom security detail, and struck George squarely between the eyes which is one narrow target.

The stand off nearly petered out in direct proportion to Amadijan's diminishing stream, except that the screams of outrage so shrill it sounded like a woman caught the attention of everyone as President Bush clutched his eyes in anguish that looked more like agony.

With all the shouting, guns drawn and off safety, cooler heads had impossibly prevailed. There was of course a brief scuffle as George insisted upon the football, as they call the nuclear code briefcase, but was now completely smothered by his guards in case another frontal attack were to resume. Heads would eventually roll. Clothes would be tested for biological agents of mass destruction and secrecy oaths were signed by me and all the guards in the bathroom that day. They were broken within hours by the Iranian guards, much to the delight of Amadijan.

When it came time for the Iranian President to speak, the world was surprised to hear him make a conciliatory gesture regarding the Iranian nuclear fuel issue. If he were to have made that gesture without the brief encounter at the urinal we may never know, but it is safe to say George is still pissed.

So the next time you see George... look closely at his new facial tic. To me it sort of looks like he is wincing and wanting to wipe something from his eye that he can never quite get.