BS: Cat farts.

Subject: Cat farts.
From: Bert
Date: 12 Nov 99 - 02:11 PM

Ol' Liz the squeak, in the 'new similes' thread was complaining of her malodorous cat.

Well, we've got three of the little buggers who are just as bad, if not worse.

I recall reading something once about the choice of catfood making a difference. Does anyone have a brand name that they recommend which might alleviate this serious problem?

Bert. (quick before I run out of joss sticks)

Subject: RE: BS: Cat farts.
From: katlaughing
Date: 12 Nov 99 - 03:11 PM

HD, I get it from the vet. One of them has to be on it for age and being prone to bladder infections. It is really good for them; little output and they don't eat as much, yet don't seem any hungrier than normal, plus that one has gained a little weight.

Used to use IAMS and had no problems with *SBD's then, either.

katlaughing

*silent, but deadlies

Subject: RE: BS: Cat farts.
From: Bert
Date: 12 Nov 99 - 03:17 PM

OK, I'll try Iams next time. Any suggestions on canned food?

Subject: RE: BS: Cat farts.
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 12 Nov 99 - 03:42 PM

Felix has always been good for me - Other half did the shopping a few weeks ago and got a deadly British brand called 'Paws'. Sorry, 'Spaw, but it made both cats impossible to live with, and I'm convinced that that is what made the computer crash last week..... There has always been a somewhat 'kittenish' aroma about them, but after eating 'Paws', they could have farted for Britain.... They could have filled the Goodyear Blimp and made it float round the world like Brightling Orbiter!!! Talk about painstripper poo!!! Now I'm no shrinking violet (you've seen the picture....) and I'm used to the malodourous manefestations of many a morris dance team, after all, I've had a baby, and there is precious little worse than baby poo, but two cats and a tin of 'Paws'and I'm screaming for mercy. Maybe if I sent them to Rotorua in NZ........

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Cat farts.
From: MMario
Date: 12 Nov 99 - 03:47 PM

heh-heh! That's where having "Barn Cats" is an advantage. We have two large (18 and 19 lb) orange ex-toms; who not nly always smell nice, but are the friendliest cats I've ever been associated with. They will do anything to be allowed indoors for a half hour or so....

Subject: RE: BS: Cat farts.
From: Áine
Date: 12 Nov 99 - 04:41 PM

What's all this then? I thought this was a song thread . . . uh, you mean it's not? Well, maybe it could be, depending on whether or not your cat can get 'jiggy' with it . . .

-- Áine (proudly owned by 3 normal size alley cats and a 17 lb. Siamese toy-boy who suffer from SBDs)

Subject: RE: BS: Cat farts.
From: Metchosin
Date: 12 Nov 99 - 05:20 PM

Hey MMario, you have barn cats too! So do I, although the Westie is much better at doing the vermin control job. Would love to have our Mao Mao inside, but both my husband and daughters are severely alergic to cats.

Subject: RE: BS: Cat farts.
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 12 Nov 99 - 05:27 PM

You thought it was the lyrics to 'Smelly Cat' didn't you!!

How about starting on this one then...

How much is that kitten in the window, The one with the odourous bum.

I'd love to have barn cats again, I spent a lot of my childhood on my grandfather's farm, and there were always at least 6 lurking about, but that was in Dorset and there aren't that many barns in East London, although there were 7 cats in the area when we moved our two in....

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Cat farts.
From: KathWestra
Date: 12 Nov 99 - 05:33 PM

My cats (Tosspot a.k.a. "Tossie" and Misty)never go out in the Mud (or the barn, or the street...) They don't fart either, maybe due to the fact that, like Kat's cats, they eat Iams and Science Diet (the over-the-counter equivalent of what Kat gets from her vet). Mine are 17-1/2 and 13-ish years old and even if they were malodorous, I'd like that better than not having them around. They probably are wondering what they should feed ME..... *BG*

Subject: RE: BS: Cat farts.
From: paddymac
Date: 12 Nov 99 - 06:12 PM

How much is that kitten in the window, the one with the odorous bum.
The aroma is one that we should know, reminds me of ____ ____ ___ ___.

Subject: RE: BS: Cat farts.
From: katlaughing
Date: 12 Nov 99 - 06:25 PM

Me, too, Kath. I asked my vet about Science Diet and they said this one was different. Maybe they are just scamming me for the money. Oh, and I had the name wrong...it is c/d.

Bert, because my Siamese, Heyokah, my "mamma's boy" is almost toothless and my other Siamese, Lovee, my "grrrrl", has an auto-immune thing which makes her mouth sore, I mix a little bit of the little tins of Fancy Feast with a jar of chicken baby food. They each get a litle over a spoonful twice a day. The rest of them, Kazell, Charlie, Kelpie, and Trystan get about a spoonful per day of just the Fancy Feast.

In 1983, all of my cats had free rein to wander in and out over the prairie and home. When we moved to New England, they all became strictly house cats; the traffic etc. would have quickly killed them all. Since then, they've all become accustomed, even the old die hard prairie cats, the last one of which passed on this year, to being inside all of the time, safe and sound.

kat

Subject: RE: BS: Cat farts.
From: Áine
Date: 12 Nov 99 - 06:44 PM

How much is that kitten in the window, The one with the odorous bum. The aroma is one that we should know, Reminds me of green river scum.

His eyes are the colour of emeralds, His toothies they shine in the sun, I would love to hug him and kiss him, If his butt didn't smell like bad rum.

Next . . .

Subject: RE: BS: Cat farts.
From: Micca
Date: 12 Nov 99 - 06:55 PM

Have you tried charcoal biscuits, you don't feed them. you ram them up with a broom handle (running for cover)or the old Simon Wales remedy of a champagne cork (think shape)and a crocquet mallet( dons tin hat and flak jacket and runs for it)

Subject: RE: BS: Cat farts.
From: catspaw49
Date: 12 Nov 99 - 07:39 PM

Interestingly enough, most of ours never fart....they are evidently satisfied with the occasional crap on the floor instead. It seems to be a game of sorts with them as we have three litter boxes and it isn't related to how clean they are. I think the little assholes do it just to piss me off. We have them ranging in age from almost 20 years to 4 months, 7 in all. Cutter, my old black kittup,in his last days; Genoa (Poogee)a calico, who is only affectionate when she's pregnant or nursing, the best Momma Cat I ever saw; Freddie Cougar, a blue/green eyed, champagne tabby, who sleeps 20 hours a day but also loves to nuzzle your neck; Gus, a sweet but bad-assed and fat-assed, long haired gray; Scrounger, my boy, and the name reflects his disposition, but also a great lap sitter, very doglike with me, follows me everywhere; Moggy, a gray & white Cornish Rex, suffering from terminal weirdness, but an outstanding lap cat; and Rocky, 4 months old and full of himself.

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Cat farts.
From: Metchosin
Date: 12 Nov 99 - 08:23 PM

Well Micca if thats what you think you should do for farts you should enjoy this

Giving Ralphs Cat a Pill

1. Pick cat up and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.
2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.
3. Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.

4. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of 10.
5. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden.
6. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, holding front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold cat's head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.
7. Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.
8. Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with its head just visible from below spouse's armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force cat's mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.
9. Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink glass of water to take taste away. Apply band-aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.
10. Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Place cat in cupboard and close door onto neck to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.
11. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put door back on hinges. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Throw T-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.

12. Ring fire brigade to retrieve cat from tree across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil wrap.

13. Tie cat's front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table. Find heavy duty pruning gloves from shed. Force cat's mouth open with small spanner. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of fillet steak. Hold head vertically and pour pint of water down throat to wash pill down.
14. Get spouse to drive you to emergency room sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Stop by furniture shop on way home to order new table.
15. Arrange for vet to make a housecall.

Subject: RE: BS: Cat farts.
From: catspaw49
Date: 12 Nov 99 - 08:40 PM

Ya know, I had a cat with bowel problems and my vet suggested a 1/2 teaspoon of gasoline fer chrissake! I admit that I thought the guy was nuts, but it did work, sorta. It ain't too easy to get a half teaspoon of gasoline down a cat's throat, but when I did, he liked to tore me to shreds getting away. He blasted around the room about 3 or 4 times, ran up the hallway, up the stairs, back down both, and into the den, leaped on the drapes and ran to the end of the curtain rod where he stopped and fell to the floor. I thought I'd killed the poor thing, but it turns out he'd just run out of gas.

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Cat farts.
From: MMario
Date: 12 Nov 99 - 08:48 PM

I am trying to remember if ANY of the cats that have owned me over the years farted....none that I can remember - but none of them got canned food, either. could that be it? One did have the annoying habit of spending the breakfast hour facing directly out the window with his tail completly vertical. such a lovely view for humans.

Subject: RE: BS: Cat farts.
From: Margo
Date: 12 Nov 99 - 08:51 PM

Got a good healthy chuckle out of that one, Spaw. Our cat doesn't have any problems with gas. But she upchucks all the time. We've tried all the remedies. Maybe it's because she's a mighty huntress. Always bringing a dead something to the door. But they don't eat their catch, do they? They just like to hunt and kill....
Margo

Subject: RE: BS: Cat farts.
From: Micca
Date: 12 Nov 99 - 08:52 PM

Yeah Metchosin we had this from a friend. There is rather a good cat story of his, he lived in a flat(apartment)that had a shower cubicle but no bathtub. His Cat Gordon is a large malevolent black and white who was about 4 Kg in weight when this took place. Simon relocated with his job to Brighton, bought a flat and moved in avec Mog. on the first w/e in his new apartment he is lying in the bath with a cup of coffee and a contemplative cigarette and the Sunday Times when in comes Gordon, the cat has never seen a bathtub before so he walks alng the edge, loses his footing and falls in. A lapful of wet irate cat caused Simon to rise up out of the tub like a polaris missile in terror for his "parts" Apart from superficial scratches he was ok and spent the rest of the day soothing his cat.

Subject: RE: BS: Cat farts.
From:
Date: 12 Nov 99 - 09:08 PM

Here is what to do:

1. Thoroughly clean the toilet. 2. Add the required amount of shampoo to the toilet water, and havebothlids lifted. 3. Obtain the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom. 4. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids (you may need to stand on the lid so that he cannot escape). CAUTION: Do not get any part of your body too close to the edge, as his paws will be reaching out for any purchase they can find. 5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a "powerwash and rinse" which I have found to be quite effective. 6. Have someone open the door to the outside and ensure that there are no people between the toilet and the outside door. 7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift both lids. 8. The now-clean cat will rocket out of the toilet, and run outside where he will dry himself. Sincerely, The DOG

Subject: RE: BS: Cat farts.
From: katlaughing
Date: 12 Nov 99 - 09:29 PM

Spaw, I KNEW we had a lot in common! Lapcats, necknuzzlers, Oooo, we are a mushy lot, aren't we?

Margo, I had one that upchucked a lot. Vet said it was because he ate too fast. This proved true with him and a couple of others. The solution was to put a few pebbles in his dish, so that he had to eat around them, looking for his food and nudging it to within reach, thus making him slow down and chew each bite twenty times or whatever it is our mothers told us!*BG* Try it, it really works!

BTW: my cats say when they break wind and raise their tails for a full view, they are inviting you to shove your nose in, to get really fmailiar with them, even, dare I say it? To do like the other cats do and lick their arsehole. Hey, that's what it looks like! They are so casual about it! Eeeuuuwww! Ack! Ack!

MR DOG: you and I are going to have to have a little talk about humane treatments, right after I bung up that Micca fellow with his suggestions! "Say...did you two come from the same litter?!!" she said, flak-slashing claws extended and ready!

katLAUGHING...REALLY!!

Subject: RE: BS: Cat farts.
From: catspaw49
Date: 12 Nov 99 - 09:38 PM

Vomit. An important reason to have multiple cats. In any group of 4 or larger, for every Upchucker, there will be at least one Gourmet......talk about EEEEUUUUUWWWW ACK! Oh well, beats stepping in it unawares........

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Cat farts.
From: Áine
Date: 12 Nov 99 - 09:40 PM

Here's one for you, Kat:

He mews as I scratch his ears and hold him,
He nuzzles my cheek with a purr,
He raises his tail in greatest pleasure,
Too bad that his end has no fur!

Subject: RE: BS: Cat farts.
From: Áine
Date: 12 Nov 99 - 10:35 PM

I knew that this was a song thread! Here's the complete (compleat) Cat Farts Theme Song:

Chorus:
How much is that kitten in the window,
The one with the odorous bum.
The aroma is one that we should know,
Reminds me of green river scum.

His eyes are the colour of emeralds,
His toothies they shine in the sun,
I would love to hug him and kiss him,
If his butt didn't smell like bad rum.

(Chorus)

He mews as I scratch his ears and hold him,
He nuzzles my cheek with a purr,
He raises his tail in greatest pleasure,
Too bad that his end has no fur!

(Chorus)

The man says there'll be no charge for him, dear
He's free to the first true good home,
But beware of his little SBD's, dear,
He could part the Red Sea with no comb!

(Chorus)

Subject: RE: BS: Cat farts.
From: catspaw49
Date: 12 Nov 99 - 10:48 PM

Uh, yeah Aine.......real good.... very nice........ sure to be smash..................... oy...... geeziz..............................

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Cat farts.
From: Áine
Date: 12 Nov 99 - 10:54 PM

Dear 'Spaw,

I KNEW you'd like it .... what do ya say .... me and you .... a duet .... it could be BIG ....

Subject: RE: BS: Cat farts.
From: catspaw49
Date: 12 Nov 99 - 11:09 PM

I dunno Aine......Like I said, my voice is so bad that I think you could make even ME sound good, but we gotta' talk about that line saying "Bad Rum." Its like Richard Pryor said about "Bad Pu..uh,.........well,uh....wait a minute...this IS a thread about kitties and such so I guess I can say pussy here huh??.......Well anyway, there ain't no such thing as "Bad Rum" EITHER........I ain't never had any bad____________,but if you got some bad ___________ please let me try it to give you a definitive answer!

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Cat farts.
From: McKnees
Date: 13 Nov 99 - 03:00 AM

We could all join in and have a cats chorus. Love the song McKnees

Subject: RE: BS: Cat farts.
From: MandolinPaul
Date: 13 Nov 99 - 07:32 AM

A message to all of you cat owners who enjoy "neck-muzzlers":

CATS DON'T USE TOILET PAPER!!!!!

Paul

Subject: RE: BS: Cat farts.
From:
Date: 13 Nov 99 - 09:22 AM

Have 4 of the critters running around. Bailey, Billie, Barney and Big Al. Try to say those 4 names fast. The first 2 aren't so bad as far as the SBDs go. They have other anoying tricks. Bailey can puke up a hairball the size of Texas pretty much on command- mostly if she's pissed off about something. Wished I could have whatever's in it tested and patented. It strips the finsh right off what ever she decides to puke on. Think this is how Homer Formsby got his start?

Billie is pretty much anti social. When he does decide that he needs some attention (about every 2 weeks and usually just to let me know he wants the warm spot on the couch and I really out to move my fat arse), he drools- gallons!

Big Al and Barney ( I call them "the boys") are a persian and siamese in that order. Both are prone to SBDs, usually reserved for when I have company or when Barn decides he wants to sleep "under the covers". I think they are both trying to set the record for "Hang Time"

Feed them Deli Cat- had to find something after they quit making "Thrive"- thought there was going to be a revolt over that! None of them will even touch canned food. Bailey and Barney like the dog's food as well. Barney will eat just about anything- food off the stove while it's cooking if I'm not careful. Thank heavens for lids.

Used to have a cat growing up named Patches. Ugliest cat you ever saw- worst temperment also. If she got mad at you she would pee on something with your scent. She discovered that if peed down the floor register in the dining room, it would drip onto my brother's pillow in his bedroom in the basement.

Laura

Subject: RE: BS: Cat farts.
From: Mudjack
Date: 13 Nov 99 - 01:11 PM

This has been a fun one, I'm still laughing. Dog? it might be a bit cruel, but it's still funny.
We need to feed these critters laxatives, botttle up the results and all sent to the Harry Fox Agency. They have a gourmet fancy for Cat Sh##.
Mudjack

Subject: RE: BS: Cat farts.
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 13 Nov 99 - 01:48 PM

Metachisn, /I think terminal weirdness is an inbred cat trait, as said before somewhere, my white cat was seen hanging halfway in and out the catflap, waiting for the other cat to come and lick his bum.....

If you don't like the bum in the face routine of a morning - my other cat sits on my chest and stuffs her arse in my nose every day - a short sharp puff of air will soon dislodge her, the noise sounds like sniffing and the return puff of air makes her feel uncomfortable, so she sits on it, or turns round.

As for pill giving.... don't even get me started on that!!

LTS

And the song is great, I may just steal it!!

Subject: RE: BS: Cat farts.
From: Áine
Date: 13 Nov 99 - 02:38 PM

Liz -- Steal away! Feel free, since you began it in the first place!! This was a fun BS thread, even if the 'title' did 'stink' (LOL) . . . Although we may have offended the more pure-at-heart folks (see Art Thieme's 'Nothing Worth Opening Here Lately' thread), this little respite from the songs I usually write was wonderful!

Have fun singing the song -- my kids loved it -- just remember DON'T TURN IT INTO PERFORMANCE ART!!!

Sing away, Áine

Subject: RE: BS: Cat farts.
From: Caitrin
Date: 13 Nov 99 - 04:02 PM

We did have three cats. Lotus was lost to feline leukemia this summer, and Miranda moved in across the street. (Really...she just decided Richard and Lynette needed her more than we did after their cat Simmie died.) Scott, a beautiful 18 pound long-haired black and white male, now thinks that he has "won" by becoming top cat. His biggest quirk is that, when he has entered a fit of pique because we humans are not performing up to his standards, he destroys things. He is a generally nice cat, but when he's angry, sponges and paper towels beware!

Subject: RE: BS: Cat farts.
From: Susan A-R
Date: 13 Nov 99 - 09:17 PM

Ultimate cat vengance I have encountered,my friend's cat PKP dumps in the sink when angry at her people, and she gets upset at 'em a lot. She also does a fair amount of what Beth calls prey part decorating, YUCK!

Subject: RE: BS: Cat farts.
From: _gargoyle
Date: 13 Nov 99 - 09:35 PM

In another thread-post

THIS THREAD

has been insinuated/supported as being one of the "all-time classic great threads" which will go down in "DT/MC" history.

Hear My Cry!!!!

The barbarians are no longer "at the gates".... they have breached the mud-walls....and are in full control of "the digital-city."

I now know how Isiah felt.

Subject: RE: BS: Cat farts.
From: Caitrin
Date: 13 Nov 99 - 11:30 PM

What's that supposed to mean, Gargoyle?

Subject: RE: BS: Cat farts.
From: Áine
Date: 13 Nov 99 - 11:46 PM

Dear gargoyle,

My dear, you have misquoted the wise and all-knowing paddymac. Here's the relevant portion of his post to the 'Nothing Worth Opening Here Lately' thread:

'. . . let's not forget that the creative muse may strike anywhere, anytime. Just in the last 48 hours we've seen the creation of a sure-to-become-a-classic *BG* parody (How much is that kitten in the window) dealing with the apparently wide-spread problem yet esoteric topic of cat farts. Now, tell me, is there another place in either the real or virtual world that can be said to truly foster such creativity?'

It was the song paddymac was speaking of, gargoyle, not this thread itself. Next time when you slap your fonts on the table to see whose got the biggest, make sure you've got your facts straight.

All the best, Áine

Subject: RE: BS: Cat farts.
From: Áine
Date: 14 Nov 99 - 12:33 AM

Dear Caitrin,

In regards to your question to gargoyle asking him what his large-fonted posting meant, it refers to his purported dislike of BS threads and/or those threads that do not specifically relate to musical topics. However, I will point out to you that he has a strange propensity to post to these supposedly 'hated' threads.

His reference to Isaiah is, I believe, specific to Chapters 56 to 66 of the Book of Isaiah in the Old Testament, known as Third Isaidh or Trito-Isaiah, believed to have been written by a series of authors between 525 and 475 B.C. Some of the material may have been authored even later, between 375 and 250 B.C.

I believe that gargoyle is drawing on the final chapter of the Book of Isaiah (66: 1-24) which contains a prophetic denunciation of the Temple, as well as three prophetic sayings that announce its imminent end.

Isaiah (66:15-16):

'For behold, the Lord will come in fire, and his chariots like the stormwind, to render his anger in fury, and his rebuke with flames of fire. For by fire will the Lord execute judgment, and by his sword, upon all flesh; and those slain by the Lord shall be many.'

Lovely thought, isn't it? As Lewis Carroll said so well, 'Beware the Jaberwock, my son.'

-- Áine

Subject: RE: BS: Cat farts.
From: bseed(charleskratz)
Date: 14 Nov 99 - 05:03 AM

-- Áine, 'e hine't the Jabberwock, luv, 'e's the frumious bandersnatch.

--seed

Subject: RE: BS: Cat farts.
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 14 Nov 99 - 10:12 AM

Oh my Gaaaad, I've created a monster!!!!

And this is all the fault of a small white and ginger cat called Ceramin, who is at this very moment, downstairs, in the kitchen, blissfully asleep on my mother's cookbook (open at the Christmas Pudding page - last years effort took 30 mins to extinguish, going for the full hour this Christmas), totally unaware of what fame has in store for him...

Oh, and in case you are interested (serious threaders, pull out now) his name, with a hard C, is Latin. He is mostly white, with a ginger head and tail, with the odd splash of ginger about his body and legs. When we first got him, my husband took one look and said 'He looks like a used Q-Tip/CottonBud', and so he got his name, Ceramin, which is Latin for earwax.

LTS

And surely that should be 'chariots like the cat fart'....?

Subject: Lyr Add: JABBERWOCKY (Lewis Carroll)
From: Áine
Date: 14 Nov 99 - 11:19 AM

Dear 'Seed,

You are absolutely correct! And for those of us who have misplaced our copies of Through The Looking Glass, here is the complete (compleat) poem:

JABBERWOCKY
by Lewis Carroll

`Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.

`Beware the Jabberwock, my son!
The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
Beware the Jujub bird, and shun
The frumious Bandersnatch!'

He took his vorpal sword in hand:
Long time the manxome foe he sought --
So rested he by the Tumtum gree,
And stood awhile in thought.

And as in uffish thought he stood,
The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,
Came whiffling through the tulgey wook,
And burbled as it came!

One, two! One, two! And through and through
The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!
He left it dead, and with its head
He went galumphing back.

`And has thou slain the Jabberwock?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
O frabjous day! Calloh! Callay!
He chortled in his joy.

`Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.

Subject: RE: BS: Cat farts.
From: Caitrin
Date: 14 Nov 99 - 02:45 PM

Thanks, Aine. I got the first part, but I'm afraid I'm not quite as up on my Bible knowledge as you are. Gargoyle, aren't you being a little melodramatic?

Subject: RE: BS: Cat farts.
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 14 Nov 99 - 09:13 PM

And here's how Babelfish frenchified it just now:

JABBERWOCKY par Lewis Carroll

`C'etait le brillig , et les toves slithy
ont fait le gyre et gimble dans le wabe;
Tout mimsy étaient les borogoves,
et l'outgrabe de raths de mome.
`Prenez garde de le Jabberwock, mon fils!
Les mâchoires qui mordent,
les griffes qui attrapent!
Prenez garde de l'oiseau de Jujub,
et évitez le Bandersnatch frumious! '

Il a pris sa épée vorpal à disposition:
Long temps l'ennemi de manxome qu'il a recherché;
-- ainsi reposé il par le gree de Tumtum,
et tenu pendant quelque temps dans la pensée.

Et comme dans l'uffish a pensé qu'il s'est tenu,
le Jabberwock, avec des yeux de flamme,
est venu whiffling par le wook de tulgey,
et burbled pendant qu'il venait!

Un, deux! Un, deux! Et par et par
la lame vorpal est allé le snicker-casse-croûte!
Il l'a laissé mort, et de pair avec sa tête
il est allé galumphing en arrière.

`Et as tu massacré le Jabberwock?
Venez à mes bras, mon garçon de beamish!
Jour frabjous de O! Calloh! Callay!
Il chortled dans son brillig de la joie

`C'etait le brillig, et les toves slithy
ont fait le gyre et gimble dans le wabe;
Tout mimsy étaient les borogoves,
et l'outgrabe de raths de mome.

Dunno what that's got to with Cat Farts mind you - this isn't so much "thread creep" or "thread drift" as "thread lurch". Don't go telling anyone on those heavy threads about it.

Subject: RE: BS: Cat farts.
From: dick greenhaus
Date: 14 Nov 99 - 10:55 PM

If anyone is interested, Jabberwocky sings jes' fine (in harmony yet) to Beethoven's Ode To Joy. (note music content)

Subject: RE: BS: Cat farts.
From: Jeri
Date: 14 Nov 99 - 11:04 PM

Or Greensleeves, but I think I prefer Ode to Joy.

Subject: RE: BS: Cat farts.
From: Caitrin
Date: 15 Nov 99 - 07:10 AM

Cool! You can sing almost any of Emily Dickinson's poems to "The Yellow Rose of Texas." And Robert Frost's "Stopping by the Woods on a Snowy Evening" to "Hernando's Hideaway".

Subject: RE: BS: Cat farts.
From: Micca
Date: 15 Nov 99 - 11:57 AM

Caitrin, I think that is truly perverse Robert Frost and Hernandos Hideaway very weird.

Subject: RE: BS: Cat farts.
From: paddymac
Date: 15 Nov 99 - 04:13 PM

Not being well-versed on poetry independent of a good tune, I just gotta believe that the venerable Carroll's masterpiece would more easily roll of the tongue, in any language, after half a dozen or so pints. :>)

Subject: RE: BS: Cat farts.
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 15 Nov 99 - 04:33 PM

Aine, I can't believe you actually went to the Bible to trace a _gargoyle allusion. I'll bet the boy is beside himself with joy over that one. As for me, I can't believe he had any specific Biblical text in mind if he can't spell Isaiah.