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BS: JoeOfferSTAG(nant)PARTY*X-RatedTavern
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Subject: RE: BS: JoeOfferSTAG(nant)PARTY*X-RatedTavern From: gnu Date: 10 Jan 02 - 05:00 PM A chiropractor she is ? So, there shouldn't be anything holding you(r) back on the hornymoon, eh ? |
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Subject: RE: BS: JoeOfferSTAG(nant)PARTY*X-RatedTavern From: MMario Date: 10 Jan 02 - 05:04 PM But just think of the fun he can have TRYING to put his back out! |
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Subject: RE: BS: JoeOfferSTAG(nant)PARTY*X-RatedTavern From: artbrooks Date: 10 Jan 02 - 05:10 PM But remember, as my wife the OT says, she REALLY knows how to hurt you if you don't behave. Best to wait until SHE is interested! |
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Subject: RE: BS: JoeOfferSTAG(nant)PARTY*X-RatedTavern From: catspaw49 Date: 10 Jan 02 - 05:11 PM Cheap jokes...very cheap jokes! I am so ashamed. Although I hear she is a joint specialist............. Spaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: JoeOfferSTAG(nant)PARTY*X-RatedTavern From: gnu Date: 10 Jan 02 - 05:33 PM Talk about CHEAP !!! |
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Subject: RE: BS: JoeOfferSTAG(nant)PARTY*X-RatedTavern From: Jack the Sailor Date: 10 Jan 02 - 05:36 PM Thirsty Newfie rushes in on the way to 3d tavern. Grabs his seagull puts it in his lap and begins to play and recite.... The Offer we can't refuse
She didn't want those dating blues
He wasn't any ordinary Joe
His character is like an arrow.
But Christrina's got his number
And if his gutters fill with grout Seagull presents opinion by crapping ing lap. He rushes out , dodging produce! |
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Subject: RE: BS: JoeOfferSTAG(nant)PARTY*X-RatedTavern From: Liz the Squeak Date: 10 Jan 02 - 05:46 PM Oi, who's taken my nice purple bra? And what's this bloody lighthouse doing here? Gish another one of them bedwarmers Spaw.... Brrrreeeeeeeuuuuuuuppppppppppp! Ah, that's better. Now where's the stag? LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: JoeOfferSTAG(nant)PARTY*X-RatedTavern From: JenEllen Date: 10 Jan 02 - 06:13 PM Where's the stag she asks? Where's the d*mn cake is what I wanna know.... I'm freezing my whistle off here...What's a girl gotta do to get a pint of the vile stuff and a scarf anyways? *g* ~JE |
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Subject: RE: BS: JoeOfferSTAG(nant)PARTY*X-RatedTavern From: alison Date: 10 Jan 02 - 06:19 PM OK....... I'm back....... and just who is that hussy who stole my french maid's outfit to get her picture taken?????? just as well I managed to get it back...... all except the lacy black bra which seems to have gone missing.... does this mean Joe has completed another of his challenges????? bonjourrrrrrrr Monsieur Joe........ca va?..... have you seen what I can do with my feather duster? thanks for cleaning off the clay 'spaw.... want to do the same for the jello... I think its nearly my turn in the pit.... who's my opponent? |
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Subject: RE: BS: JoeOfferSTAG(nant)PARTY*X-RatedTavern From: artbrooks Date: 10 Jan 02 - 06:24 PM me! me! me! me! me! me! puuuleese! |
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Subject: RE: BS: JoeOfferSTAG(nant)PARTY*X-RatedTavern From: alison Date: 10 Jan 02 - 06:30 PM right.. you're on... get your gear off..... (alison rips off french maid outift.. (well to be honest there wasn't that much to it anyway!!!).... and does a perfect swallow dive from the bar into the jello pit....) get in here you big chicken ... I hope you don't mind losing!!!! |
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Subject: RE: BS: JoeOfferSTAG(nant)PARTY*X-RatedTavern From: catspaw49 Date: 10 Jan 02 - 06:34 PM Go for it art!!!! But man I gotta' tell ya' that shhe and harpy were tougher than nails.......No need to worry about Mini-Mick though...I saw Koko hangin' around outside and she is waitin' for him......Let's all have a prayer for the Mick!!! Spaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: JoeOfferSTAG(nant)PARTY*X-RatedTavern From: Sorcha Date: 10 Jan 02 - 06:36 PM ROFLMAO!!! I'm dyin' here folks! I think I better just sit in the corner and be real quiet. I ain't never been to no stag party before. |
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Subject: RE: BS: JoeOfferSTAG(nant)PARTY*X-RatedTavern From: artbrooks Date: 10 Jan 02 - 06:38 PM {holding nose}....{closing eyes}...heck with that {OPENING EYES WIDE!!!}...feeling around..."gotcha!"...oh shit, it's that damned camel! |
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Subject: RE: BS: JoeOfferSTAG(nant)PARTY*X-RatedTavern From: alison Date: 10 Jan 02 - 06:41 PM Hey...... what do you think you're........ OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHH.... get you hand off that...... and move your big toe while you're at it!!! lol right want to play dirty do you???.... well take that.......... SPLAT!!!!........... and this......... SPLOSH!!!! (alison grabs art by the ears and shoves his head under the green jello............ climbs onto his back wrapping her slimy green legs round his waist.... grabs a few handfuls of jello and thinks.... "as soon as he surfaces I'm going to stuff this jello in his ears!!!) |
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Subject: RE: BS: JoeOfferSTAG(nant)PARTY*X-RatedTavern From: Morticia Date: 10 Jan 02 - 06:44 PM Sorry Jen, I was in charge of cake obtaining but got distracted ... I have a half-eaten twinkie about my person somewhere....would that do? |
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Subject: RE: BS: JoeOfferSTAG(nant)PARTY*X-RatedTavern From: artbrooks Date: 10 Jan 02 - 06:47 PM Oooooh! That feels sooooo good! MY big toe is it? Where do you get off putting your slimy green foot THERE? Surface? What for? There's too much nice stuff under here, thanks. Oops... Why the hell is the camel wearing a black lace bra? |
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Subject: RE: BS: JoeOfferSTAG(nant)PARTY*X-RatedTavern From: Lonesome EJ Date: 10 Jan 02 - 06:47 PM Lemme have a piece of that cake! I'll just deflate Mona...like so...tie her around my neck, and I 've got a handy plastic bib to avoid those nasty frosting stains on my zoot suit! I tell you, this girl is versatile. |
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Subject: RE: BS: JoeOfferSTAG(nant)PARTY*X-RatedTavern From: JenEllen Date: 10 Jan 02 - 06:50 PM Depends on where you've been keeping it, my dearie....LOL |
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Subject: RE: BS: JoeOfferSTAG(nant)PARTY*X-RatedTavern From: catspaw49 Date: 10 Jan 02 - 06:51 PM Awfergawdsakes Mortie......Can't you do anything right??? Here's JE standin' here cold and naked as a jaybird and you forgot the cake?!?!? Go get one and I mean NOW!!! Don't want JenEllen standing here for another hour, er.......well maybe two is okay..........I mean the girl is naked here and uh............say no more than three huh?..........okay four hours max...............maybe five.............whenever............Somebody mop up this drool..... Spaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: JoeOfferSTAG(nant)PARTY*X-RatedTavern From: JenEllen Date: 10 Jan 02 - 06:52 PM Umm....that was meant for Morty's Twinkie and not for Leej's Mona....I'm not sure I want to know where she's been. |
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Subject: RE: BS: JoeOfferSTAG(nant)PARTY*X-RatedTavern From: Amos Date: 10 Jan 02 - 06:52 PM Sweet lady, she offered her honour But Joe he had only one Offer So he honored her offer, And on'er and offer And honor the Offers again.... There are so many offers being honored around here I can't find Joe to offer my congratulations on the newly won honors!! What a way to start off. with a gang like this!!! A tall quart o' the dark stuff will start me going here. Then we'll see who knows the dirtiest ditty!!! A |
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Subject: RE: BS: JoeOfferSTAG(nant)PARTY*X-RatedTavern From: alison Date: 10 Jan 02 - 06:55 PM I may have killed Art.... I mean how long CAN you hold your breath?????....... OOOOOOHHHHH.... No!! stop that it tickles!!!!!! hahahahaha right no more Miss Nice Guy!! (alison slides up Art's back until she is sitting on his shoulders, leans forward into a wonderfully elegant forward roll.... legs wrapped around his chest.... so Art is now lying with all his "vulnerable bits" exposed.....) quick Morty.. get the soda syphon!!!!!........ |
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Subject: RE: BS: JoeOfferSTAG(nant)PARTY*X-RatedTavern From: Midchuck Date: 10 Jan 02 - 06:56 PM You're all going to Hell! Peter. |
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Subject: RE: BS: JoeOfferSTAG(nant)PARTY*X-RatedTavern From: alison Date: 10 Jan 02 - 06:57 PM can we take the jello with us? |
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Subject: RE: BS: JoeOfferSTAG(nant)PARTY*X-RatedTavern From: artbrooks Date: 10 Jan 02 - 07:00 PM I think Joe's hanging around the punch (thread). Can you imagine non-alcoholic punch at a Polish wedding? He's gonna miss his shot at Alison in the green jello...she's about worn me out...no, wait...he's not allowed to think about that any more... ...damn that camel... |
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Subject: RE: BS: JoeOfferSTAG(nant)PARTY*X-RatedTavern From: Noreen Date: 10 Jan 02 - 07:01 PM *big grin* same here, Sorch! All the best, Joe and Christina. |
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Subject: RE: BS: JoeOfferSTAG(nant)PARTY*X-RatedTavern From: alison Date: 10 Jan 02 - 07:04 PM YESSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!! I remain undefeated champion!!!! well if nobody minds I'll just lie back here and bask in my victory!!!!........... or at least think of a way to get all of this jello back off again....... LEJ.... any chance of a drink over here?...... or who is doing barkeep tonight? |
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Subject: RE: BS: JoeOfferSTAG(nant)PARTY*X-RatedTavern From: Little Hawk Date: 10 Jan 02 - 07:04 PM I'm already feeling ill from the shock of realizing that the hamster nest thing was not what I had hoped, so I think I will not attend. However, I am willing to help to this extent: I believe Canadian Tire has an after-Christmas special on studfinders, eh? Anybody need a cheap studfinder? - LH |
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Subject: RE: BS: JoeOfferSTAG(nant)PARTY*X-RatedTavern From: artbrooks Date: 10 Jan 02 - 07:06 PM Obviously, not Alison.... |
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Subject: RE: BS: JoeOfferSTAG(nant)PARTY*X-RatedTavern From: catspaw49 Date: 10 Jan 02 - 07:07 PM Noreen!!! Aw now c'mon.....How about a roll in the Jell-O pit with Amos....I think he's weakened some after the P-Numoany stuff....Give him a try!!! Nice try art, but alison is really tough, plus that camel wasn't helpin'!! Nice try and uh....art? Uh. like you got some Jell-O hangin' off you're, uh.......you know....just give t a flip and......DAMN MAN!!! NOT MY WAY.......geeziz, I'm grossed out......... Spaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: JoeOfferSTAG(nant)PARTY*X-RatedTavern From: alison Date: 10 Jan 02 - 07:09 PM well Art it was a noble attempt... if not entirely gentlemanly.....lol....... but I won't tell if you won't...... |
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Subject: RE: BS: JoeOfferSTAG(nant)PARTY*X-RatedTavern From: artbrooks Date: 10 Jan 02 - 07:12 PM A gentleman NEVER tells...but he ALWAYS makes the lady think she won..... |
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Subject: RE: BS: JoeOfferSTAG(nant)PARTY*X-RatedTavern From: Morticia Date: 10 Jan 02 - 07:14 PM Erm, Alison....when I aimed the soda syphon he sort of...well... |
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Subject: RE: BS: JoeOfferSTAG(nant)PARTY*X-RatedTavern From: Noreen Date: 10 Jan 02 - 07:15 PM Be gentle with me, Amos... |
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Subject: RE: BS: JoeOfferSTAG(nant)PARTY*X-RatedTavern From: alison Date: 10 Jan 02 - 07:15 PM fighting talk art.....lol...... right time I was getting out of here... my skin is bright green....... now who has got my clothes?
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Subject: RE: BS: JoeOfferSTAG(nant)PARTY*X-RatedTavern From: catspaw49 Date: 10 Jan 02 - 07:32 PM Got 'em over at the laundromat al....I caught Cletus wearing your panties and.........Look, just stand here with JE....Yeah, that looks GOOD....How about I buy you both a drink huh? Yeah, you two are mighty fine and uh............HEY CLETUS....Come clean up this drool again! Spaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: JoeOfferSTAG(nant)PARTY*X-RatedTavern From: Noreen Date: 10 Jan 02 - 07:36 PM Can't take any more of the excitement.. carry on without me! (More room in the jello pit.) |
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Subject: RE: BS: JoeOfferSTAG(nant)PARTY*X-RatedTavern From: JenEllen Date: 10 Jan 02 - 07:38 PM We've kept the good old vices and labored to invent a few, With cake and vulgar surplus we can have it, and eat it too I dunno about the clothes Alison...they seem to be pretty scarce tonight.
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Subject: RE: BS: JoeOfferSTAG(nant)PARTY*X-RatedTavern From: Little Hawk Date: 10 Jan 02 - 07:43 PM This stuff is supposed to be funny, right? How come there's nothing about William Shatner in this thread so far? - LH |
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Subject: RE: BS: JoeOfferSTAG(nant)PARTY*X-RatedTavern From: catspaw49 Date: 10 Jan 02 - 07:47 PM 'Cause Shatner's an "asswhole"....fuck him.........Now Hawk, why don't you get a thong on and hop in the Jello Pit ..... I see Sorch is still nursin' that drink and I'm willing to bet she can kick your ass!!! Spaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: JoeOfferSTAG(nant)PARTY*X-RatedTavern From: Amergin Date: 10 Jan 02 - 07:55 PM I think I will just sit in the corner slugging pints of the vile black stuff....for if I kiss a girl I get a new lump on my head...I take bras or panties I will get a new lump on my head....a girl spanks me they get the lump on their head......to match with mine.... |
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Subject: RE: BS: JoeOfferSTAG(nant)PARTY*X-RatedTavern From: artbrooks Date: 10 Jan 02 - 08:06 PM Aw come on, LH...I did it, after all... ...take your hamster in with you.... ...unless you figure he'd outclass you... |
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Subject: RE: BS: JoeOfferSTAG(nant)PARTY*X-RatedTavern From: Little Hawk Date: 10 Jan 02 - 08:06 PM Yeah, right, I can just see myself in a thong... LOL! I'm sure Sorcha could easily "kick my ass", but whether she will get the chance to is entirely another matter. For some reason I usually just don't find sexual innuendo of this sort to be very funny. It's tedious. It does nothing for me. If I could I would hijack this thread and turn it to a more useful purpose, but I know a dead pig when I see one! It would be like trying to milk a frog or teach a slug to dance the hula. It would be like talking with Osama about the merits of non-violence. Hopeless. Anybody got some mulled cider? I'm thirsty. - LH |
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Subject: RE: BS: JoeOfferSTAG(nant)PARTY*X-RatedTavern From: Little Hawk Date: 10 Jan 02 - 08:14 PM Ummm...delicious. Hot cider straight out of the microwave. - LH |
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Subject: RE: BS: JoeOfferSTAG(nant)PARTY*X-RatedTavern From: MMario Date: 10 Jan 02 - 08:22 PM When Joe Offer was a boy Or so the Mudcat told me Way haul away, haul your ashes, Joe! He thought he'd join the pristhood And so his lips grew moldy! Way haul away, haul your ashes, Joe! Way haul away, joe's makin' chiropractic, Whoopee! Way haul away, haul your ashes, Joe! Then he met Christina girl and she was pert and chipper Way haul away, haul your ashes, Joe! and soon our good ol' Catholic boy was thinkin' with his zipper! Way haul away, haul your ashes, Joe! Way haul away, joe's makin' chiropractic, Whoopee! Way haul away, haul your ashes, Joe! Catspaw threw a stag party and it was loud and lewd! Way haul away, haul your ashes, Joe! Joe offer blushed ten shades of red the guest they just got rude! Way haul away, haul your ashes, Joe! Way haul away, joe's makin' chiropractic, Whoopee! Way haul away, haul your ashes, Joe! |
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Subject: RE: BS: JoeOfferSTAG(nant)PARTY*X-RatedTavern From: Tweed Date: 10 Jan 02 - 08:40 PM Goddammit what the hell's happened to all you sedate and dignified folksing...Jeezus Spaw! I didn't think you could light a fart while sittin' in Jello...Anybody got any dice? |
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Subject: RE: BS: JoeOfferSTAG(nant)PARTY*X-RatedTavern From: Mr Red Date: 10 Jan 02 - 08:48 PM STAGgering! well I am by now. It were all different when Joe's Ale was new me boys. bed time + in the UK. must stagger home........ |
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Subject: RE: BS: JoeOfferSTAG(nant)PARTY*X-RatedTavern From: catspaw49 Date: 10 Jan 02 - 09:58 PM Well Joe, the girls left, Paw set fire to the Tavern wall and the cleanup is a mess, the animals wandered off, the porn contract is up, the Jello Pit is completely disgusting............ All in all, the party's over, but your's is just beginning. May your union be blessed by all and may your happiness be exceeded by none.......All My Very Best To You Both!, Pat |
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Subject: RE: BS: JoeOfferSTAG(nant)PARTY*X-RatedTavern From: katlaughing Date: 10 Jan 02 - 10:03 PM Well, Ah know I'm layt to the pahtee, but Ah just can't let it slip by without some fashion advice for our dearah Brothah JoeBro. Mayhap I'll be back in a little while...shall I bring my deep purple pasties with the black tassels?
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