Song Challenge! Part 3

Subject: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: Áine
Date: 02 Feb 00 - 05:20 PM

Hello 'Catters! Yes, it's *another* challenge for the Mudcat Songbook!! All of you entomologically-minded folks will be especially interested in this one:

I heard a report on NPR today that scientists in the US have made a fantastic advance in the study of honey bees -- they've caught several of the little buggers and glued diodes and antennae on their back with double-sided poster tape. "They look like hors d'oeuvres with glass toothpicks in them," said one of the researchers. Then the researchers release the honey bees and *attempt* to follow them in vans equipped with radio receivers; communicating with each other via walkie-talkies, evoking such conversations as: "He's going north." "Now he's going west." "He's going south -- nope, make that north again."

Unfortunately, I was unable to hear the end of the story, or to what purpose this 'fantastic advance' has been made -- but I'll leave that up to your imagination. My dad was a beekeeper for years, and I can't help but imagine him laughing himself silly if he could hear this story, and making some comment about "the guys in white coats tailing the 'little sisters'."

So, there ya go -- take it away and may everyone win!

-- Áine

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: Amos
Date: 02 Feb 00 - 05:30 PM

Boy, Áine, you do come up with a honey every now and then!!
I will have to comb through my imagination and see if I can come up with a few stinging lines for the sake of our Queen.

It's a mighty good life, and it's kinda funny...naw, lines are too short.

I'm sure there's a whole hive of possibilities buzzing around in here, just wait 'til I start waxing!

A

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: Metchosin
Date: 02 Feb 00 - 05:43 PM

Aine as your Dad was a beekeeper. would he forgive you for your slip of calling them "he". *BG* I hope that means big grin.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: Áine
Date: 02 Feb 00 - 05:49 PM

Dear Metchosin,

I was quoting the eejit researchers, who *should* know to call the "little sisters" *she* . . . just shows to go ya!

-- Áine

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: MMario
Date: 02 Feb 00 - 05:54 PM

geez, Áine, their project involves the MOVEMENT of the bees, you can't expect them to know something like the gender of the subjects, that's outside of the parameters of the experiment.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: Mbo
Date: 02 Feb 00 - 05:56 PM

I don't know if I can do bug songs...

--Mbo

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: MMario
Date: 02 Feb 00 - 06:01 PM

Mbo! a bee is not a bug! Apis Mellifera is a diligent, hardworking servant to humanity, literaly shortening her life span so that flapjacks may be covered with sweet liquid gold.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: Áine
Date: 02 Feb 00 - 06:18 PM

Dear Mbo,

That's why I called it a CHALLENGE!

-- Áine

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: Metchosin
Date: 02 Feb 00 - 06:59 PM

the blues tune I'm a King Bee might validate the researchers.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: Metchosin
Date: 02 Feb 00 - 07:01 PM

www.sallfolks

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: Amos
Date: 02 Feb 00 - 07:20 PM

I think we'll use that tune from The Big Rock Candy Mountain...oh the buzzing of the queen on the radar screen, the diodes on the workers! While the scientist man, in the big white van, watches scopes and chews on burgers!...this was just a try out, I'm working on it. I've heard the short form on NPR, and the entymologists are really excited about it. They're using the technology (a tiny diode glued to the back of a bee, which causes a traceable interference pattern on a radar CRT). They're gonna use it on tsetse flies next.

Lots of grounds for creative stuff here, guys -- the tsetse boogie woogi! C'mon an' do it...back to the Mudcat Radio, anon.

A

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 02 Feb 00 - 07:34 PM

Kamikaze Bee

You stick me down with ticky-tack
and put transmitters on my back
and try to follow in my track
but I'm a bee
you can't catch me.

You think you're smart, I know you're big,
But I can make you dance a jig
And squeal like a punctured pig
For I'm a bee
you can't catch me

I'm in the air, I'm on the wing,
I'm coming down to make you sing
I'm coming at you with my sting
For I'm a bee,
you can't stop me.

And when I sting you, I'll be dead,
But you'll be crying in your bed
with my sharp lesson in your head
I was a bee -
don't mess with me.
Don't mess with us
just leave us buzz!

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: Amos
Date: 02 Feb 00 - 07:42 PM

Bravo, McGrath -- you're a sure head ahead of the pack, who've been left at the gate.

A

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: Áine
Date: 02 Feb 00 - 08:08 PM

Amos, me thinks you have some competition this time 'round! Way to go, Kevin!

-- Áine

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: Amos
Date: 02 Feb 00 - 09:58 PM

Fred Dyer's Bees

 

 

In a faroff lane, lined with sugar cane
Where the honeybees go walkin'
In a big white van, came a science-man,
All worked up to do some stalking
As he drove along, he hummed a song
And thought of hives and honey!
For he'd had a dream, and dreamt up a scheme
That would earn him lotsa money!

Chorus:    Ohhhhhhh the buzzing of the Queen on the radar screen!
                The flapping of transistors!
                And the glue that binds on the bee's beehinds
                Of the drones and all their sisters!

Now this science lug was in love with bugs
And was handy with the solder!
He drummed up a grant, by composing cant
'Bout the queen bee, and her daughters
There's no way to know how he flung the snow
In his guileful composition
But it sure was hot, cuz the fellow got
A rich research position!

Chorus
 

So he bought  himself a six-foot shelf
Of scopes and lab things fancy
And equipped with these, he went hunting bees
With a postgrad aide  named Nancy.
They would grab the drones from their waxy homes
As they left for work, Fred gottem!
With epoxy glue and a diode or two
They would wire up their bottoms!

Chorus

Now its hard to tell what this science swell
Is learning from these workers!
Cuz him and Nan they sit back in the van
Watching 'scopes and eating burgers.
Yelling "North!" and "whoa!"  on the radio
As their labmates sweat for hours
Running zig zag trails through the hills and dales
While the bees make calls on flowers!

Chorus

Now this fella Fred has got quite the head
FOr acquiring research dollars
And he'll run this show where the honeybees grow
'Til someone tips off the scholars
Then he'll grab a flight, in the dark of night
And a new girl, named Amanda
And theyll make a try, tracking tsetse flies
For the gummint of Rwanda!

Ohh, the buzzing of the Queen on the radar screen
The flapping of transistors!
And the glue that binds to the bees beehinds
On the queen and all her sisters!

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: Amos
Date: 02 Feb 00 - 10:00 PM

Add to Challenge submission: (Tune: The Big Rock Candy Mountain)

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: Áine
Date: 02 Feb 00 - 10:28 PM

Well, excuse me while I pick myself off of the floor! Kevin, Amos -- you guys are great! I love 'em both!

Alright, all you other songwriters -- come on, join the fun and write a beewitching song about our little *non*-bug friends!

-- Áine

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: Mbo
Date: 02 Feb 00 - 10:33 PM

I think myself a smart young man
For I know a lot of things
Like what those little critters are
That fly round on buzzing wings
Collecting pollen every day
From every single flower
And making honey out of it
For hour after hour

But they can get so bothersome
A-buzzing round your head
And just one little sting from them
Will swell and turn you red
So one morning as I roamed about
Partaking in the day
I tried to smash one, and the people
turned to me and said

Let it be! You're a thug!
It's a bee, not a bug!
We wouldn't survive without them!
They make sugar and honey
And so for your money
You can have them on toast or in tea
Mercy me!
It isn't a bug, it's a bee!

Well I started think
And actually ponder
About what they's said
So I let my mind wander
Back to my youth
When I was just five
And I used to hurl rocks
At a giant bee hive
It seemed so much fun
Of all things the best
But something was brewing
Inside that nest.
So I launched a large rock
At the thing on the tree
Then an angry swarm flew out
And headed for me!

And as they doctored my stings, they said....

Let them be! You're a thug!
It's a bee, not a bug!
We wouldn't survive without them!
They make sugar and honey
And so for your money
You can have them on toast or in tea
Mercy me!
It isn't a bug, it's a bee!


--Mbo

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: Amos
Date: 02 Feb 00 - 10:44 PM

Mbo, I am filing a protest with the Queen! Your song is off topic!!

A

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: Mbo
Date: 02 Feb 00 - 10:51 PM

Um....I thought it was just songs about bees!

--Mbo

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: Amos
Date: 02 Feb 00 - 10:55 PM

Beeees??? Beeees??? It's not bloody BEEeees, sir!! It's SCIENtists! THAT's the topics -- it's the SCIENtists sticking the diodes on the beees, not the bees themselves!! It was on the raddio, about them enteeemuleogisters and such! With their DIodes. It's not just about BEEEs, sir!

A

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: Mbo
Date: 02 Feb 00 - 11:03 PM

Oh, well EXCUSE ME!

--Mbo

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: Amos
Date: 02 Feb 00 - 11:09 PM

Well FINE! Beee that way! :>))

Pax vobiscum, Mbo. I like your song a lot and it is much more broadly useful than mine. Mine rerquires a special brief to understand, available at no extra charge from National Public Radio, while yours applies to childhoods everywhere! So I withdraw my challenge. I'm just cranky cuz I am spending so much time _not_ working! :>))

A

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: Mbo
Date: 02 Feb 00 - 11:12 PM

I know how you feel, Amos. My Shangri-La has gone away.

--Mbo

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: Amos
Date: 02 Feb 00 - 11:13 PM

Your Shangri-La?!! O, Mbo, I am sorry. Where did she go? Why? I am sure it must be a mistake.

A

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: Mbo
Date: 02 Feb 00 - 11:16 PM

I'm not sure--she just kinda faded like the Beatles on "Hey Jude."

--Mbo

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: Amos
Date: 02 Feb 00 - 11:21 PM

Damn, I hate that! It's Barbry Ellen all over again -- just a failure to communicate, is what. It is so HARD to understand another person when they won't communicate, you never know which end is them and which end is you!

A

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: Mbo
Date: 02 Feb 00 - 11:24 PM

Amos, I can't be TOO specific, but SHE hasn't been here for days! I'm losing it!

--Mbo

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: Amos
Date: 02 Feb 00 - 11:32 PM

Well, don't worry about it, mate. Shocks and losses and severe upsets all have that effect -- they hang you up for days like stuck holograms, slipping in and out of the present. Known thing, so don't worry. Get your rest, keep up your chow and it'll pass in a week or so. Tho' I don't see how you managed to compose under that sort of duress!

A

And you can be exactly as specific as you choose, friend Mbo; no constraints from this end, anyway.

A

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: Mbo
Date: 02 Feb 00 - 11:36 PM

A week or two? I hope it won't be that long!

--Mbo

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: Amos
Date: 02 Feb 00 - 11:44 PM

Well, a week's about half over, did you not say? I just meant for some shocks to wear off can take that long. In your case, being highly resilient and strong minded, and frequently at the mudcat Tavern, I would say less. :>)

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: Metchosin
Date: 03 Feb 00 - 05:15 AM

Beeline Talkin' Blues

Well gather round Cats and I'll tell you a story
Bout how to pursue scientific glory
Get you some bees and a diode or two
A few tiny pins and some crazy glue
Double sided poster tape, transmitters and all that jazz

Well I got me some bees, matter fact quite a few
Loaded em up and away they all flew
Jumped in my van, I'm trackin' em down
Radio signals on the far side of town
Clover, fireweed, wildflowers and farmers fields.

Well they buzzed to the east and they buzzed to west
I followed one, just doin' my best
Headed way out to a wheat field stand
To keep her in range I pursued in the van
Following blips, through fences, makin' crop circles.

Just then she headed back on to to the road
I bumped back out, just listen to her go!
I followed her in hot pusuit
She was zippin' along, she knew her route
Headin' for greener pastures, makin' a bee line.

Then I turned north just as she turned south
The result of which there was no doubt
Up on the corner of my window screen
A few metal pieces all red and green
Squished bug, cashed in her IC chips, some form of road kill.

I stopped the van and started to grievin'
A cop pulled up said "Man you were weavin'"
He asked me to step out of the car
Said "drivin' like that you won't get far"
Impaired, without due care and attention, DUI.

He arrested me and he put me in jail
Went before the judge to tell my tale
The judge said son "I believe your story,
You were just pursuin' scientific glory!"
Go publish a paper, where bees go, maybe get yourself a Nobel Prize.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: lloyd61
Date: 03 Feb 00 - 06:52 AM

Where are you going, how long will you stay?
I'll follow you, little sister, even if it takes all day.,
You will never be out of my site. I have you in toe
You are tethered to me by a little electro.
You see, I have been hired to spy undercover,
I have been hired by your jealous Queen lover.

Chorus

Queen Bee, Queen Bee, There way to small
The Drowns may be cheating and sneaking around
But I can't follow them all, all over town

I followed you up fifth, to a hot little flower,
There with great passion her nectar you devoured
I saw it all, my report will be brief
I watch you steal her pollen, you little sister thief
Then on to the next without giving much thought
Have you no feelings for the damage you have wrought.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: lloyd61
Date: 03 Feb 00 - 06:56 AM

Some how I lost a line....

Queen Bee, Queen Bee, I can't follow them all,
Queen Bee, Queen Bee, There way to small
The Drowns may be cheating and sneaking around
But I can't follow them all, all over town

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: lloyd61
Date: 03 Feb 00 - 07:03 AM

I'll try this for the last time...

Queen Bee, Queen Bee, I can't follow them all,
Queen Bee, Queen Bee, They are way to small
The Drowns may be cheating and sneaking around
But I can't follow them all, all over town

Why am I spending time on this dumb thing? I can't type, spell, or think.

The next questions is; why are you spending your time reading this dumb thing?

O'well have fun..

lloyd61

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: Áine
Date: 03 Feb 00 - 07:55 AM

*******************CONGRATULATIONS!!**********************

To all of you BEEautiful BEEstowers of BEE songs!!

Great job, everyone! Very creative AND funny, couldn't ask for more. If anyone else wants a go at it, feel free and welcome.

{Mbo, Even though your song swung a little wide of topic, that's perfectly fine. Your song is a wonderful reminisence; although, I find it hard to believe that you *ever* threw a rock at anything.}

-- Áine

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: Mbo
Date: 03 Feb 00 - 08:10 AM

Thanks, Áine. The song wasn't autobiographical at all. In fact, I'm on quite good terms with bees--I don't bother them, they don't bother me. I don't throw rocks--but I have been known to hurl pinecones to dislodge badminton birdies from tree limbs....anyway, I'm working on another song....I'll probably have it up tonight--today's my full day.

--Mbo

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: Amos
Date: 03 Feb 00 - 08:18 AM

Oh, man....Mbo's working on another song....durn...gosh......I jes know he's gonna get ma Golden Cow Chip...this guy is rough...gosh....durn.... .

A

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: MMario
Date: 03 Feb 00 - 09:36 AM

I don't think your Golden Cow Chip gets taken away -- I think a new one just gets awarded to another deserving feller....and if you deserve another you probably get another shamrock cluster....

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: Áine
Date: 03 Feb 00 - 09:48 AM

Dear Mbo,

I *knew* you'd never throw a rock at bee (even if you do call it a bug)! Can't wait to see to your 'Beez Redux' tonight.

Amos and MMario,

Golden Cow Chip Awards are permanent and should be displayed proudly and prominently on your mantel. The Shamrock Cluster is signatory of a high level of imagination and the Harp Ribbon (yet to be awarded) is given for being able to make me fall on the floor laughing OR short out my keyboard with tears. There is one caveat, however. If I find out that any receiver of the Golden Cow Chip Award has used their trophy in a local (or international) cow chip tossing contest, said Chip will be confiscated immediately and awarded to another Song Challenger. Clear?

-- Áine

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: Amos
Date: 03 Feb 00 - 09:50 AM

Thanks, Big M. I get ashamed of myself fer gettin' stirred up.

Now a shamrock cluster on a Golden Cow Chip would look purdy!! Could wear it with ma ice-cream suit for special occasions and such!! Or to cocktail parties!!

"Yep, this one was the Beekeeper Song Challenge, and the gold one was fer the FIrst World Challenge...and thet bar indicates I survived the Mudcat Tavern thread of the Winter of '99.
And the silver tag is for learnin to make blue clicky things.
Yes, ma'a'm, it sure is a lot of medals, but ev'y one of 'em was earned honestly. Aw shucks, ma'a'm, kinda yew to say so..."

(grin)

A

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: MMario
Date: 03 Feb 00 - 09:52 AM

Good to have these technical details out in the open...Is the Guiness Crest awarded for causing both Harp ribbon conditions within one song? Just checking, of course....

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: MMario
Date: 03 Feb 00 - 09:53 AM

Good to have these technical details out in the open...Is the Guiness Crest awarded for causing both Harp ribbon conditions within one song? Just checking, of course....

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: Amos
Date: 03 Feb 00 - 09:57 AM

That would be the tan foam just over my left breast pocket? Actually that was a slip of the lip!

A

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: GUEST,Mbo
Date: 03 Feb 00 - 10:03 AM

Let's see...I have one our to go till my next class starts at 11. I gonna try to write that song between know and then!

--Mbo

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: Amos
Date: 03 Feb 00 - 10:06 AM

Mbo, you're not getting enough sleep judging from the typos that are slipping into your posts. Why'n't you take a nap until class? :>))

A

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: GUEST,Mbo
Date: 03 Feb 00 - 10:12 AM

Not my fault, Amos! This stupid Mac I'm using has a wacky H key--you hit it and sometimes it gives you and H, sometimes it doesn't. I'm on a different machine now.

--Mbo

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: Amos
Date: 03 Feb 00 - 10:28 AM

And sometimes it adds a "k". Well, take the keyboard apart and clean it out -- you'll just have time to get it all fixed by class...

A

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: Metchosin
Date: 03 Feb 00 - 11:22 AM

Good mornin' and thank you Aine. Now I wuz jest wonderin' ma'am if thar wuz a separate prize fer the Blues? Maybe somethin' like the "Cleigh's Blue Smoke Award"?

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: MMario
Date: 03 Feb 00 - 11:25 AM

Or does that just get a golden chip with Smoke Wreath?