BS: Save Spaw as an Alternate Engery Source

Subject: BS: SAVE SPAW AS AN ALTERNATE ENGERY SOURCE
From: InOBU
Date: 09 Dec 05 - 09:54 AM

Yes... save the welsh, save the virgins in the forrests, but lets face it, we really need Spaw. His is an untapped natural resource. Combining the common bean and Spaw, one releases a natural force with makes the Nuke seem like a wee pop in the pan.

So, I want everyone to call the White House, and tell Mr. Bush to get it together and act. Send all the resourses necessisary to preserve this ticking bundle of power and musical to boot.

Thine in the light of sustainable energy

( a flash of blue light )
lor

Subject: RE: BS: SAVE SPAW AS AN ALTERNATE ENGERY SOURCE
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 09 Dec 05 - 10:15 AM

Is he then a force of nature, a veritable fountain of thermal energy?
Is he the gaseous equivalent of Old Faithfull that aqueous wonder of Yellowstone Park?
If so then we must immediately declare him a national monument, a force of nature, a Mount Rushmore of methane miracles. Call upon the US National Perks and let him be cannonised, call upon Mudcatter Ranger1 to range his furthest reaches and protect him from encroaching Sulphuretted Hydrogen.
Above all she must keep him away from naked women lights.

Spaw for President

Giok

Subject: RE: BS: SAVE SPAW AS AN ALTERNATE ENGERY SOURCE
From: Bill D
Date: 09 Dec 05 - 11:40 AM

oh, I love "cannonized"

sssssss..BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

Subject: RE: BS: SAVE SPAW AS AN ALTERNATE ENGERY SOURCE
From: gnu
Date: 09 Dec 05 - 03:19 PM

Make light all you want, but, I, for one, am very concerned about Spaw. If Bill Shatner does visit, he'll try to jam some of that bran cereal into him.... I shudder to think of the consequences. Nuclear winter from the splitting of the atom would draw a pale comparison to what could happen.

Subject: RE: BS: SAVE SPAW AS AN ALTERNATE ENGERY SOURCE
From: Peace
Date: 09 Dec 05 - 06:49 PM

This may not be an appropriate place to tell this story, but I think Pat would enjoy it, so here goes.

A friend of mine--folkie kinda guy, singer-songwriter with many excellent songs to his credit and many records/CDs was going to get married. (This took place in NYC many decades ago.) Anyway, the boys took him out for three days of partying--read drinking, pickled eggs, knuckles, chili, etc. On his wedding day he was deliverd to the church--delivered being the operative word. They were wed. He and his new wife went to their place to celebrate their new marriage in the traditional manner.

He arrived back at the party about an hour later looking for a place to stay. His missus had thrown him out on their wedding night. Of course, everyone wanted to know what had happened. He told us that he and she were undressed and about to get involved in the deed when he felt a fart coming on. He was polite and he said excuse me to his love, lifetd his leg and

crapped the bed. She was furious and he left while she was throwing things at him. We were in tears by that point and we got him cleaned up--he smelled like shit--and continued the party for a few days. They were eventually reunited. She was a lovely gal, BTW.

Subject: RE: BS: SAVE SPAW AS AN ALTERNATE ENGERY SOURCE
From: Peace
Date: 09 Dec 05 - 06:50 PM

The names of the people involved will go to my grave with me, so no messages or threats or bribes. My lips are sealed--as his should have been.

Subject: RE: BS: SAVE SPAW AS AN ALTERNATE ENGERY SOURCE
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Dec 05 - 07:00 PM

I thing that he would be an excellent resource for alternate engery. We need all the engery we can get.

Subject: RE: BS: SAVE SPAW AS AN ALTERNATE ENGERY SOURCE
From: SINSULL
Date: 09 Dec 05 - 08:46 PM

In the immortal words of Captain Morse...Never trust a fart.

Subject: RE: BS: SAVE SPAW AS AN ALTERNATE ENGERY SOURCE
From: Peace
Date: 09 Dec 05 - 08:54 PM

Ain't THAT the truth.

Subject: RE: BS: SAVE SPAW AS AN ALTERNATE ENGERY SOURCE
From: GUEST
Date: 09 Dec 05 - 09:10 PM

Stephen Lynch - Country Love Song



I made love to ya all night long
then I got up to write you a song
I watched ya sleep and I fell in love
ya must've been sent from heaven above
don't think you could never do no wrong

then you farted....
oh girl you farted..

first I thought that it was kinda cute
I surpresed a smile when I heard your girly poot
then came the smell came whoftin by
and brought a little tear drop to my eye
I think that i'll go sleep out on the couch

cause you farted...

you could make milk curdle
make your skin crawl
make the paint peal off of the wall
I won't sleep under the covers no more
since the hot winds blew from out your back door

baby, it sure has been a gas
but somethin' up and died inside your ass
and sure as hell that my name is stephen
its about time that I got even
get ready for the magic im about to pass...

I think I shit my pants.

Subject: RE: BS: Save Spaw as an Alternate Engery Source
From: InOBU
Date: 17 Dec 05 - 08:35 AM

Well, Spaw's value as a renewable energy source is once again proven, like the ol' timex he wears next to that rather large heart of his... so, for all who wish to start the Saint Spaw society, well your just gonna have to wait. Spaw, you have been given more time to add to your list of miracles, like putting out forrest fires with a blast of methane gas - for a fire break, a nation wide heard air raid warning test, a Chirstmas night light show in the sky to remind folks of the star of bethlehem... an anti missle defense system..., an event completely un-noticed in Elizabeth New Jersey ( if you've ever been there you'd know what I mean... "

Well, on yer feet lad, your nation and the world needs ya.

Keep it fun
lor

Subject: RE: BS: Save Spaw as an Alternate Engery Source
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 17 Dec 05 - 09:55 PM

People, people, people...

It'll never work! The mere presence of a tremendous amount of energy does not necessarily mean that that energy can be tapped in any manner which humans would consider useful. Hurricanes, earthquakes, tsunamis and Spaw farts all fall into the same broad category. They're all far to uncontrollable to be put to constructive use.

Subject: RE: BS: Save Spaw as an Alternate Engery Source
From: Bobert
Date: 17 Dec 05 - 10:36 PM

Well, gol danged...

Here you all going off an' immortalizin' poor ol' Spawzaer like he;s the Second Coming... Well, he might the second helpin' with the Boston Beans (which they ain't) but he ain't got nuthin' on my couzin Rufus's wife, Rether May...

Well, first of all, Retha May is one sweet woman but, ahhhhh, you all know that stuff that Spawzer thought he had a patent on???? No way, this ol' gal wrote the book... Weren't half as bad back in the good ol' days before Rufus done lost half the double wide in a danged bet on a high school football game but now that's it's half a double wide, well.....

But bless the poor girls heart... She's got a heart of gold and I'm sure she don't mean to do the thinmgs she does but....

No, make that butt...

Now I ain't gonna get into no deatils herr but Rufus tolt me that after her last round at the beans that he had to go out and relevel the half a double wide...

Well, I ain't heared that Spaw can blow a 60 fooot trailer off its foundation but maybe he can an' maybe he can't but I seen what Rethar May done di and it weren't too purdy....

Butt (pun intended) get yerself all recouperated thwere, Spawzer, cause this ol' gal don't wanta be whuppin' up on some flagilation has-been... She wants the real deal...Better bring yer A game...

Subject: RE: BS: Save Spaw as an Alternate Engery Source
From: InOBU
Date: 18 Dec 05 - 03:42 PM

Ah ye of little faith. They said the same thing to my cousin Hal, when he said he could fly without the help of mechanical help. Well... as a matter of fact, ye wowzers and doupters... he couldn't, but his last words were don't give up. After all, where would we be if we gave up on such ideas like time travel, making gold out of lead, finding a north west passage ( without an ice breaker... ) Yes, while it is a daunting task, nothing is imposible... ish
Cheers
lor

Subject: RE: BS: Save Spaw as an Alternate Engery Source
From: InOBU
Date: 24 Dec 05 - 03:01 PM

Well Spaw is getting better, so Bush must be listening to us. Therefore, I am going to vote for him in the next prexidential errections because he is doing a fine job preserseveing the Spaw.

God Bless America
Praise Dog and pass the beans

lor