BS: MY stated goals!

Subject: BS: MY stated goals!
From: GUEST,Blind
Date: 09 Jul 06 - 05:50 PM

Subject: RE: BS: MY stated goals!
From: Geoff the Duck
Date: 09 Jul 06 - 05:56 PM

Just don't let yourself down though...
Quack
GtD.

Subject: RE: BS: MY stated goals!
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Bind River
Date: 09 Jul 06 - 06:04 PM

Holy flip! I musta hait the wrong keyboard on that first post! I never flippin' got to state my goals, eh?

It came out blank...like...like I aint' got no goals at all, and I do, eh?

So. These are, like, my goals and these are real flippin' goals that you can hang yer flippin' hat on, eh?

1. To drink a shitload more beer before I die!

2. To smoke all the dope I can get ahold of.

3. To never work again.

4. To show every girl in the general area a real good time, if ya know waht I mean...

5. To retire by 35. Freedom 35, eh?

6. To deal enough dope to be able to retire by 35.

7. To not get arrested again this year.

8. Or ever!

9. I was gonna say to marry Officer Dana, but I have sorta decided it aint' gonna work out. Too flippin' bad. She has lost out on the best flippin' man around here, that's how I figger it. Too flippin' bad.

10. This means maybe...back to marryin' Shania Twain. I figger after I get rich she will definitely want me. Most likely. We'll see, eh?

11. To be famous and have thousands of fans who chant "We're not worthy!" when they see me on the street or at a big concert somewhere where I will traded guitar solos with the greatest flippin' heavey metal rock stars in the world!

12. To show my big brother Don(g) once and fer all that he ain't half as cool as his little brother Shane, becoz he is gettin' fat and bald and as far as I can see the flippin' retread is over the hill. Yeah. He's history, man. The future belongs to ME!

Rock on!

- BDiBR

Subject: RE: BS: MY stated goals!
From: Alba
Date: 09 Jul 06 - 06:37 PM

The future belongs to ME. as in the state of "Maine" Shane?
Dang it that's where I live.
Bring it on...:)

Subject: RE: BS: MY stated goals!
From: SINSULL
Date: 09 Jul 06 - 09:28 PM

Bet me to it, Alba. ME rules!

Subject: RE: BS: MY stated goals!
From: GUEST
Date: 09 Jul 06 - 09:29 PM

Oh joy.

Subject: RE: BS: MY stated goals!
From: Alba
Date: 09 Jul 06 - 09:39 PM

Well Shane looks like someone thinks your stated goals are filled with Joy, whoever she is!
See, your an inspiration to someone out there:)

Subject: RE: BS: MY stated goals!
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 09 Jul 06 - 11:21 PM

Are you sure you don't mean "My stunted goals!"?

Subject: RE: BS: MY stated goals!
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Jul 06 - 11:26 PM

My goal is to kick Shane's pus-draining butt up between his shoulderblades for badmouting librarians. Maybe up so high his head gets stuck in it again.

Subject: RE: BS: MY stated goals!
From: Alba
Date: 10 Jul 06 - 07:19 AM

*whisper*.....Rapaire I think his Head is well and truly secured in that particular region of his anatomy with little hope of it ever emerging....best not to bring this frightening fact to his attention...*wink*.
Happy Mun Day:)
Jude

Subject: RE: BS: MY stated goals!
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Jul 06 - 09:14 AM

Then I'll grab his ears and give a long, steady pull until a loud POP! indicates that his head has been pulled free...or off.

Subject: RE: BS: MY stated goals!
From: Sorcha
Date: 10 Jul 06 - 10:31 AM

All I want is less to do, more time to do it in, and more pay for not doing it!

Subject: RE: BS: MY stated goals!
From: kendall
Date: 11 Jul 06 - 07:38 AM

I've already reached my goal. To be the most successful failure in my whole family.

Subject: RE: BS: MY stated goals!
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Jul 06 - 12:29 PM

I have made a vow to be moderate in my excesses.

Subject: RE: BS: MY stated goals!
From: Big Al Whittle
Date: 12 Jul 06 - 04:10 AM

its worth thinking about

goals....

statements.....

one day perhaps.
best of luck Shane. If thats what you want. I hope you get all the good bits.

Subject: RE: BS: MY stated goals!
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Jul 06 - 09:56 AM

Shane old top, male pattern baldness is inherited. If Don is getting bald, you're going to get bald too. Probably all at once. Whoomp, all your hair falls out. From all over your body, including that greasy hair on your back. Suddenly you'll be a hairless ape. You'll look like a eunuch (that's a guy whose...equipment...has been cut off). This will probably happen just as you are introduced to Shania Twain. That's the way it happens with younger brothers, this male pattern baldness. In younger brothers it's called "The Eunuch Syndrome" by the doctors and there's no way to avoid it. It can happen anytime, too. You could be tokin' up with your buds and WHOOMP! Or poppin' open a nice cold one, maybe your sixteenth, ya know, and WHOOMP! Even drivin' down the road or sittin' on the can.

And there ain't no cure. Even the stuff on those late-night TV commercials won't work; sometimes they even make it worse 'cause they dye your skin sort of a splotchy greeny-yellowy color.

All you can do is sit in a dark room and remember how it used to be, with chicks swarming all over you while you toke and drink. Finally you'll die, a slick-skin Canadian hairless, and then everyone will say, "It's a wonder what undertakers can do with wigs and fake fur these days."

Don't worry about it though. From WHOOMP! to death is a long time, sometimes ten or twelve weeks.

Stay cool, man.

Subject: RE: BS: MY stated goals!
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 12 Jul 06 - 12:35 PM

I flippin' hate you, man! You suck majorly! You are the worst flippin' retread that ever lived and I hope your dingleberries shrivel up and fall right off right htere in front of youer eyes, eh? You ain't good fer nothin'. You stink.

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: MY stated goals!
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Jul 06 - 09:39 AM

The WHOOMP! is comin' for you, Shane. I betcha all the women around Blind River will just go nuts over a guy with no eyebrows or anything.

And then you'll get fat and squishy, like Jabba the Hut only without Carrie Fisher.

But don't worry about it. You probably got two or three more years at the most.

Subject: RE: BS: MY stated goals!
From: Alba
Date: 13 Jul 06 - 10:00 AM

I am feeling the Luuuvvv between yourself and Shane Rapaire...your concern for his Future is well, simply touching. (in an odd, twisted, creepy kind of way.....heehee)
Jude