BS: Jello under sheets for hangover cure?

Subject: BS: Jello under sheets for hangover cure?
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 25 May 12 - 01:13 AM

Okay, what's the deal???

A very intelligent police doctor I know with 40 years of drunk tank experience under his belt told me that spreadin' around a couple gallons of fresh-made cherry or grape flavored jello under the lower sheets at night will prevent that vicious next day hangover??? And also prevent the DTs? And the nightmares? And keep me from fallin' outta bed at 4 AM?

Anyone tried this??? Did it work? I need to know pretty quick here, cos the weekend is drawin' nigh, and I just got a $250 advance on a new case.

- Chongo

Subject: RE: BS: Jello under sheets for hangover cure?
From: olddude
Date: 25 May 12 - 01:37 AM

Does anyone have a good recipe for bbq'd Monkey. Dry rub or the old fashioned Texas spicy sauce. I have the urge now to do some Monkey hunting. They kinda taste like chicken. Gotta pack up my .338 and Night Vision gear. I have been known to lay in wait for days without moving for the right shot.

Wanna come along GNU

:-)

Subject: RE: BS: Jello under sheets for hangover cure?
From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity
Date: 25 May 12 - 01:43 AM

He only THOUGHT it was a couple of gallons of Jello. It wasn't Jello....he likes to flatter himself a lot, too.... he was making love to his mattress!!

GfS

Subject: RE: BS: Jello under sheets for hangover cure?
From: Gurney
Date: 25 May 12 - 03:10 AM

Asking for trouble there, OD! (May I call you Odie?)

1: Chongo isn't a monkey. He attacks people who call him one.
2: Monkeys don't taste like chicken, anyway. Especially raw, as he eats them.
3: Chongo packs heat, too.
4: The trouble with lying-up waiting for a shot is that you have to pee yourself. Chongo knows the smell. He can probably identify YOUR smell.
5: I can't think of another thing to go here.

Don't say nobody ever warned you.

On the thread, anyone in that docs. drunk-tank is probably a jammy bugger anyway.

Subject: RE: BS: Jello under sheets for hangover cure?
From: GUEST,olddude
Date: 25 May 12 - 08:49 AM

LOL, excellent -advice noted Gurney

Subject: RE: BS: Jello under sheets for hangover cure?
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 25 May 12 - 10:23 AM

Geez, I only got a few hours to get this figured out. I bought a few packages of jello just in case...but will it work? I hate to think about the cleanup if it don't work. Then too, there is the risk of bein' laughed at by others if it don't work and they found out. It could be real embarrasin'.

Lemme see...what would Bobert do in a case like this? If I can get that part figgered out, then I will just do the exact opposite, and things should work out good.

- Chongo

Subject: RE: BS: Jello under sheets for hangover cure?
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 May 12 - 10:53 AM

WWB? What would Bobert do? You're asking yourself that???

Bobert don't git drunk. No hangover with reefer.

And you got to put the jello in a water bed, turning it into a jello bed. Don't put in any carrots or stuff.

Subject: RE: BS: Jello under sheets for hangover cure?
From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity
Date: 25 May 12 - 11:01 AM

Rapparee: "WWB? What would Bobert do? You're asking yourself that???"


That's ready!!..Use only Democratic Party Jello!!!

GfS

Subject: RE: BS: Jello under sheets for hangover cure?
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 25 May 12 - 12:17 PM

A water bed filled with jello?????? That's an amazin' idea. I bet it would feel really neat to lie on. But emptyin' it when the jello starts to go bad and replacin' the old jellow with new would be a tough and time-consumin' business. I guess ya could just not empty it at all, make sure it stays well sealed, and you might get a whole year's waterbed use out of one original lot of jello...but what if it got punctured accidentally? I bet jello smells real bad when it goes "off".

- Chongo

Subject: RE: BS: Jello under sheets for hangover cure?
From: frogprince
Date: 25 May 12 - 12:20 PM

What color does green jello turn when it spoils?

Subject: RE: BS: Jello under sheets for hangover cure?
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 25 May 12 - 12:23 PM

I'm bettin' it would be a really nasty brownish-green, sorta like festerin' swamp mud.

Ugh. I'm glad I ain't feelin' woozy right now...

- Chongo

Subject: RE: BS: Jello under sheets for hangover cure?
From: Bill D
Date: 25 May 12 - 12:54 PM

You don't put the jello in a BED..... you put it in a cloth hammock! If you can really sleep after overindulging, you won't fall out.... and it's easy to empty the hammock next day.

Lemmee know how it works for you.

Subject: RE: BS: Jello under sheets for hangover cure?
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 25 May 12 - 01:32 PM

That is a real good idea, Bill! Thanks. So happens I got just such a hammock that is a keepsake from the old days when I first arrived on the sidewalks of New York.

Now, a net hammock..that would not work cos the jello would all ooze out through the netting...but a cloth hammock should work out just fine. I'm thinking it'll feel real good to lay back and rest my heated brow and body on a nice cool bed of jello. And I won't hafta get out of bed if I feel like havin' a snack in the middle of the night.

Subject: RE: BS: Jello under sheets for hangover cure?
From: gnu
Date: 25 May 12 - 03:02 PM

No thanks, Dan. I wouldn't eat monkey. Now, if I had pets...

Subject: RE: BS: Jello under sheets for hangover cure?
From: Bill D
Date: 25 May 12 - 04:40 PM

(Iffn you tie-dye that cloth hammock, you can even change flavors of Jello and never hardly notice the stains)

Subject: RE: BS: Jello under sheets for hangover cure?
From: GUEST,leeneia
Date: 26 May 12 - 11:36 AM

Guys, the next time you have a hangover, leave the jello in the cupboard and drink the water you'd have used to mix it. The water will do more for you than anything, even one of Jeeves' legendary morning-after cures.

Subject: RE: BS: Jello under sheets for hangover cure?
From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity
Date: 27 May 12 - 07:53 AM

Frogprince: "What color does green jello turn when it spoils?"

Depends what you do to spoil it.

Bill D: "Bill D: "(Iffn you tie-dye that cloth hammock, you can even change flavors of Jello and never hardly notice the stains)."

Your sheets are a different story....even without the Jello!!!

See above.

GfS

Subject: RE: BS: Jello under sheets for hangover cure?
From: gnu
Date: 27 May 12 - 01:51 PM

Jell-O Sheets for Jell-O Shots?.

Subject: RE: BS: Jello under sheets for hangover cure?
From: Don Firth
Date: 27 May 12 - 04:20 PM

No, no, no! You guys don't understand how this works!

The Jell-o makes the bed very slippery, and as you are thrashing about in you're alcohol induced dreams, you slide out of bed without knowing it. You wind up on the hard floor with your neck cocked to one side, one arm twisted behind your back, and one of your toes up your left nostril. When you wake up in the morning, you feel like somebody has dropped a grand piano on you and it takes you awhile to get your limbs untangled to the point where you can actually move. And for the next couple of hours every joint hurts, so you try to move as little as absolutely necessary.

You still have the hangover, but everything else hurts so much you don't notice it.

Don Firth

Subject: RE: BS: Jello under sheets for hangover cure?
From: gnu
Date: 27 May 12 - 05:06 PM

Don... especially if you have the Jell-O Shits.

Subject: RE: BS: Jello under sheets for hangover cure?
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 27 May 12 - 08:11 PM

Kee-Rist. What a weekend.

I been recoverin' from it all day. Thought I was dyin' for awhile there, but dyin' probably don't hurt this much. I'm about at the point now where I think I can stand lettin' a little bit of the fast fadin' daylight in. It was like I had devils dancin' around all night in a dustbowl inside my skull.

I did not try the jello cure. Maybe I should have. I was sorta suspicious that the Doc down at the cop shop mighta been puttin' me on, so I simply passed on that jello story to these other apes and some monkeys (and a coupla humans) over at Frankie's, and told 'em it was a "sure thing, no word of a lie" and they should all try it out. I figger that at least a couple of 'em will have done so. I'll talk to 'em on Monday and see how it went.

One thing for sure. They can't be feelin' any rougher right now than I am...unless if they got hit by a truck or somethin'.

I just checked my wallet. It's empty as a mousetrap on the Moon. Next week is gonna be pretty depressin' unless I raid the APP campaign chest for some "petty cash".

Decisions, decisions...

- Chongo