BS: Little Hawk?

Subject: RE: BS: Little Hawk?
From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity
Date: 05 Aug 10 - 05:44 PM

Amos Lightfoot: "I appreciate the information, but I have no desire to become familiar with LH's neck".

Well you'll have to fight the chimp to get at it!!

GfS

Subject: RE: BS: Little Hawk?
From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity
Date: 05 Aug 10 - 06:05 PM

.....the 'other' part, that is!

GfS

Subject: RE: BS: Little Hawk?
From: Bobert
Date: 05 Aug 10 - 06:27 PM

Yeah, Eb... As far as addictions go, hey, an occasional stop in Mudville is one heck of alot better than mainlining herion... Cheaper, too...

Subject: RE: BS: Little Hawk?
From: gnu
Date: 05 Aug 10 - 06:32 PM

So, where were you, LH? And what wisdom did you engage while away that you can impart to us?

Or were you just goofin off?

Subject: RE: BS: Little Hawk?
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 05 Aug 10 - 06:33 PM

I ain't got no interest in LH's neck whatsoever.

THIS is the kinda neck I like:

Now THAT's a neck! (scroll down slightly for the picture)





- Chongo

Subject: RE: BS: Little Hawk?
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 05 Aug 10 - 06:34 PM

And the rest of her ain't bad either...

- Chongo

Subject: RE: BS: Little Hawk?
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Aug 10 - 07:55 PM

Now if only Petunia Rotleg would show up....

Subject: RE: BS: Little Hawk?
From: Ebbie
Date: 05 Aug 10 - 08:31 PM

Dear god. One of those pictured is a real loser- made only 2 million last year.

Subject: RE: BS: Little Hawk?
From: Bobert
Date: 05 Aug 10 - 08:37 PM

We agree on this one, Chongz... But like all the other ones that LH has fanticized over, this one is also, ahhhhh, taken... Tell the boy that there is such a thing as a single womenz, will ya'???

Subject: RE: BS: Little Hawk?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 Aug 10 - 09:22 PM

Winona Ryder is single, Bobert.

Subject: RE: BS: Little Hawk?
From: Ebbie
Date: 05 Aug 10 - 10:32 PM

And he's back! Couldn't resist Winona, eh, Little Hawk? (Welcome back)

Subject: RE: BS: Little Hawk?
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Aug 10 - 11:56 PM

Well, so much for Petunia Rotleg, the Grande Dame of Ditchdale, showing up.

Subject: RE: BS: Little Hawk?
From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity
Date: 06 Aug 10 - 01:50 AM

YO-HO!!!....Wondered where you were..(as if you couldn't tell).....so, how many times did you read the mail?...just wondering how much you're loved..on here?.....ya' little shit!

Winking(but relieved),

GfS

Subject: RE: BS: Little Hawk?
From: Gurney
Date: 06 Aug 10 - 02:19 AM

Now we know the system. Mention Winona and he's back like a snapped elastic!

Subject: RE: BS: Little Hawk?
From: Bobert
Date: 06 Aug 10 - 07:37 AM

Hey, you sayin' LH is like "snapped elastic"??? "Snapped", maybe but I don't unnderstand the elastic part... Nevermind, it really ain't important...

Well, okay, LH, here's the question??? First of all, glad to see that the bail bondsman got ya out... Second, when's the trial... Third, you gonna cop a plea and lastly...

...Winona gonna be real steamed when she finds out that yer flauntin' yer love intertests in Anjeline Jolie's direction... Sho nuff don't want to be you when Winona comes knockin' on yer door...

B~

Subject: RE: BS: Little Hawk?
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Aug 10 - 10:34 AM

Oh? Was he gone?

Subject: RE: BS: Little Hawk?
From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity
Date: 06 Aug 10 - 11:26 AM

Bobert, He can't help it He's a heart-breaker....I know!

GfS

Subject: RE: BS: Little Hawk?
From: Bobert
Date: 06 Aug 10 - 11:46 AM

What, GfS??? He dump you, too??? Hey, you can call up Winona and have a good cry with her...

B;~)

Subject: RE: BS: Little Hawk?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Aug 10 - 12:45 PM

It was Chongo who mentioned Angelina Jolie, not me. When will you people get it through your thick heads that Chongo thinks for himself independently from me? He is his own ape. I may have created his persona originally, but he has his own separate agenda and it does not necessarily resemble mine in any way at all.

He, for instance, isn't interested in Winona Ryder at all. I don't think I've ever heard him mention her name.

As for Angelina Jolie, she's clearly a fine looking woman, but she's not one that I focus on to any great extent. I merely acknowledge the fact that she is a fine looking woman (and a good actress), and I leave it at that. She doesn't haunt my fantasies.

Chongo thinks entirely differently from me. I know how he thinks, and it's very differently from me. That's what I find refreshing about him. The same goes for Shane...but along a completely different tangent, obviously.

If Shane and Chongo ever met, I expect they would each regard the other with a mixture of contempt, horror, and disgust. ;-) Shane would be fascinated, though, by the fact that "The monkey can talk!" He'd want to take Chongo back to Blind River and show him off to the locals and win bets with him. Chongo, on the other hand, would not be fascinated by Shane. He would regard him as a vile piece of worthless trash littering the street.

Subject: RE: BS: Little Hawk?
From: frogprince
Date: 06 Aug 10 - 12:53 PM

"When will you people get it through your thick heads that Chongo thinks for himself independently from me? He is his own ape. I may have created his persona originally, but he has his own separate agenda and it does not necessarily resemble mine in any way at all"

Uhhh..L.H...? I hate to tell ya, but that sounds a lot like it could be an accurate self-diagnosis of something that might need lookin' into.   : )

Subject: RE: BS: Little Hawk?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Aug 10 - 01:02 PM

What good would it be developing fictional characters who are exactly like I already am?

That was John Wayne's acting technique after all, wasn't it, and his acting generally sucked! ;-) (although there were a few movies where it worked out okay)

Is there only one version of you in your head? If so, wouldn't you get bored with the part after awhile? I certainly would.

Subject: RE: BS: Little Hawk?
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 06 Aug 10 - 01:05 PM

Little Hawk is nuts. But at least he ain't dangerous. So it ain't all bad. I wouldn't worry about it none. There are a lot more important things to worry about than that.

- Chongo

Subject: RE: BS: Little Hawk?
From: Les from Hull
Date: 06 Aug 10 - 01:12 PM

I can think of another actor whose acting sucked. Some Canadian bloke, now what was his name?

Subject: RE: BS: Little Hawk?
From: gnu
Date: 06 Aug 10 - 01:40 PM

Les... "A Canadian actor whose acting sucked."

What? Are you shattin us?

Subject: RE: BS: Little Hawk?
From: gnu
Date: 06 Aug 10 - 02:09 PM

Maybe LH will have his head turned by Caroline Guiliani now.

Subject: RE: BS: Little Hawk?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Aug 10 - 02:56 PM

Huh?

Why the heck would I...?

Subject: RE: BS: Little Hawk?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Aug 10 - 02:58 PM

Okay, I had a look on Google.

Nope. Not my type.

Subject: RE: BS: Little Hawk?
From: frogprince
Date: 06 Aug 10 - 02:59 PM

I think gnu means, 'cause Caroline and Wynona both have "uplifting" personalities.

Subject: RE: BS: Little Hawk?
From: Gurney
Date: 06 Aug 10 - 03:06 PM

Good question. Good question. If, as attested by Norma Jean, gentlemen DO prefer blondes, then LH's preference for a brunette is entirely understandable. :-)

Subject: RE: BS: Little Hawk?
From: gnu
Date: 06 Aug 10 - 03:07 PM

froggy! Hahahaha... perfect!

Subject: RE: BS: Little Hawk?
From: GUEST,Officer Jennifer Dana, OPP
Date: 06 Aug 10 - 03:15 PM

The person known here as "Little Hawk" has been released; he is considered neither a flight risk nor a risk to the public or to himself. It is the hope of the Courts and the Ontario Provincial Police that friends will watch and should any further drunkenness or other disorder occur that they will notify the OPP at once.

Subject: RE: BS: Little Hawk?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Aug 10 - 03:16 PM

?

Has Caroline Giuliani also been arrested for shoplifting?

Look, guys, Winona was probably just very depressed at the time, and that's why she did it. Anyway, it has no bearing on my interest in her.

Gentlemen "preferred" blondes back when that statement was made for no other reason than that Hollywood was pushing blondes at that time for some reason. That sort of thing is cyclical, like the length of skirts and hairdos.

Subject: RE: BS: Little Hawk?
From: gnu
Date: 06 Aug 10 - 03:20 PM

They were pushing hair dye.

Officer Dana cited drunkeness? You were off on a bender?

Subject: RE: BS: Little Hawk?
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 06 Aug 10 - 03:37 PM

I been tellin' him for years that alcohol helps. Maybe he finally listened. You can't trust a man that never has a drink!

- Chongo

Subject: RE: BS: Little Hawk?
From: Gurney
Date: 06 Aug 10 - 07:48 PM

'Pushing blondes..... FOR SOME REASON.'

I appreciate that you are younger than me, L.H., but the reason should be very apparent! Did you never SEE that milk-hued person?

Subject: RE: BS: Little Hawk?
From: Bobert
Date: 06 Aug 10 - 09:01 PM

I donno... Here we have this "gentlemen prefer blonds" and then we have Winona who ain't blond and we have Angelina who ain't blond but then we have Caroline who is kinda blond... Looks more like Iraish redhead to me but, hey...

No matter, maybe LH ain't into them blonds afterall... I donno... Doesn't much matter...

What does matter is that he's made bail... That's a good thing 'cause that means that the court doesn't think he's gonna hurt anyone before the trial... Okay, he did have some time to develope yet another character in this Pitchfork guy but, hey??? Waht's ya' gonna do fir 30 days in the jail house??? Play cards 24/7??? Nah... Cards get old in jail...

Heck, maybe he's invented several more characters and is introducin' 'um one by one... Maybe he get up to a hunnert or so... That would be cool... I mean, after a few they tend to bleed into others and next thing ya' know the boy has a best leagl defense there is: "Awwww, ya' see judge, it wasn't exactly me who did that crime but this guy who is borrowing a small portion of my brainerator"... Yep, that outta be good 'nuff to get him postin' from his new digs at the state mental hospital but, at least, his record will be clean...

I mean, I heard on the street that Winona ain't into messin' with criminals... That's a good thing for them both...

Subject: RE: BS: Little Hawk?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Aug 10 - 10:09 PM

Gurney, I know you may find this really hard to understand...but I simply tend to prefer brunette women for some reason. I also tend to admire somewhat tanned skin more than I do very pale skin. I'm always willing to bend these perceptions and make exceptions on the basis of personality, etc...but that gives you the general idea.

Winona Ryder, who is normally seen with dark hair, is in fact a natural blonde who dyes her hair dark. I know this intellectually, but I am still easily manipulated by superficial appearances, it seems, thus I find her very attractive. Just goes to show how powerful instinctive visual triggers can be, doesn't it?

*****

Bobert? Word on the street is yer dog can't hunt. Don't feel bad, son, cos mine can't either. He's too damn lazy. Try collectin' yer dawg's pee in cups and see if you kin find a good use fer it. There has gotta be a pracktickle use fer that stuff, eh? Keep lookin'.

Subject: RE: BS: Little Hawk?
From: frogprince
Date: 06 Aug 10 - 10:33 PM

Why is a gal with a bikini tan like Kentucky Fried Chicken?












'cause I like the white part.

Subject: RE: BS: Little Hawk?
From: Bobert
Date: 06 Aug 10 - 10:44 PM

Well, of course my dog don't hunt... Sniff... My dog is dead... I miss that dog, too... Best dog that ever was, he was... I remember goin' to get him when he was just a pup... He had them big brown eyes that said "take me home... daddy" and so I took him home and we became the best of buddies and then I fell down the well and...

What dog you talkin' 'bout, LH...

Heck, who needs a dog... I gotta sumabichin' fox who thinks he lives here... Might of fact, ahhhh, he does live here until I gives him some lead poisonin' (wink, wink)...

But nevermind that fox... I'll shoot the little trouble maker whne he's ready to get shot...

But real sorry that yer dog is useless, LH... When they get that way ya' gotta give 'um pep talks an' play ball with 'um and play towell with 'um... I love playin' towell with dogs... They all take it so seriously??? What's that about??? You drop the towell in the yard and they walk over it like it weren't there... You pick it up and it takes on life and them dogs just gotta have to have it???

I know, I know... The dogs prolly sittin' 'round talkin' about how dumb we are...

B~

Subject: RE: BS: Little Hawk?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Aug 10 - 10:50 PM

I'm not saying he's completely useless, Bobert. The way I see it, he could do great at the following jobs:

1. doorstop

2. bookend

3. paperweight

4. lawn ornament (if yer not too fussy)

5. vulture lure

6. industrial-strength air de-freshener

7. bear or wolf bait

Subject: RE: BS: Little Hawk?
From: Amos
Date: 06 Aug 10 - 11:43 PM

You could say the same about any one of your imaginary characters, LH!! Except for the air-freshener part...

Subject: RE: BS: Little Hawk?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 07 Aug 10 - 02:58 AM

Tsk! You are so wrong, Amos.

First of all, I said "air de-freshener" not "air freshener". An air de-freshener is designed to make a place smell worse not better. Capiche? My dog makes a place smell worse. A lot worse!

Next, you are again wrong in a number of ways.

Example 1: Penelope Rutledge

1. doorstop? No! She moves around too much.

2. bookend? No! Same reason as above.

3. paperweight? No! Same reason as above.

4. lawn ornament? Perhaps...if it wasn't for the fact that she moves around too much and wouldn't be willing to remain in one spot. Same reason as above, in other words.

5. vulture lure? Only if she was dead. And she isn't. My dog isn't either...but he appears to be, and that is the key.

6. industrial-strength air de-freshener? Certainly not! Penelope smells good.

7. bear or wolf bait? Theoretically, yes...but Penelope is much too smart to be used that way and she wouldn't allow it.

Your score on that one is ZERO, Amos.

Would you like some more examples?

Only my dog meets all of the criteria 1-7, I assure you. Shane would meet some of them, but only probably 2 or 3 of them...maybe 4 at the most.

Subject: RE: BS: Little Hawk?
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Aug 10 - 10:18 PM

Bobert, I too had a dog like that, and one day I too fell into a well. I yelled at him to get help, but the next thing I know he's up topside, scraping dirt like mad, trying fill in the well. After that we weren't such good pals as we had been. In fact, he got distemper or colic or something and bit my brother, who now runs rabbits and howls at the moon. We've kept him on a leash for years, but he IS a good huntin' dog, mostly, and since we had him fixed he's no real bother at all.

Subject: RE: BS: Little Hawk?
From: Bobert
Date: 07 Aug 10 - 10:50 PM

Sorry, Rap... Most of my ol' friends ain't doin' too much better than yer dawg... No bother at all, that is...

Subject: RE: BS: Little Hawk?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 07 Aug 10 - 11:47 PM

If they had Rapaire fixed, he'd be no problem at all either.

Subject: RE: BS: Little Hawk?
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 08 Aug 10 - 12:19 AM

Seems to me you guys are wasting a lot of perfectly good BS in this thread that you could be running over in the MOAB.

Just sayin'.

Subject: RE: BS: Little Hawk?
From: Slag
Date: 08 Aug 10 - 04:19 PM

PSSSSSSssssssssssrrr! That's Hawk-ese for "Hey there Pilgrim ! don't be disssssssin' my portryal of Genghis Khan."....the Duke

Subject: RE: BS: Little Hawk?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 Aug 10 - 04:46 PM

His portrayal of Genghis Khan ranks among the worst, most miscast performances in history! ;-)

Subject: RE: BS: Little Hawk?
From: frogprince
Date: 08 Aug 10 - 06:45 PM

A little creative editing can make a story even better:

"...my brother, who now runs rabbits and howls at the moon. We've kept him on a leash for years..."

Subject: RE: BS: Little Hawk?
From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity
Date: 08 Aug 10 - 07:13 PM

200....jeez, i can't believe it!

GfS