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BS: Bachelor Party!
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Subject: Bachelor Party! From: Naemanson Date: 27 Sep 00 - 06:34 AM The ladies among us may wish to turn their eyes away from the contents of this thread. The more mature (acting) women may decide to look on just to observe what the other side does in an instance like this. And those women who are more fun loving and lighthearted may wish to join in. However that may be.... PAR-TY....PAR-TY....PAR-TY....PAR-TY....PAR-TY....PAR-TY OK, Now that I have your attention let me lay out what I'm looking for. I have to go to a bachelor party this Friday and I'm looking for ideas. I haven't done this in at least a decade! I suppose I could just put together a wimpy thread asking for suggestions but it would be better if I threw a party and saw what comes up! (That line's for you Spaw!) So here's the situation. Our old buddy Ferdinand D'ahble (better known to his buddies as Ol' Ferd) is getting married at noon and we have to party the night away. What do you bring to add to the party? Songs? Recitations? Tricks? Unlike the usual run of the mill bachelor party women are invited (this is, after all, the nineties). Limitations? We don' need no stinking limitations! So let the music and laughter fill the room as we send Ol' Ferd off to join the ranks of the married. The first rounds on me! Fill up your glasses and let's give a toast to the upcoming nuptials. |
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Subject: RE: Bachelor Party! From: Quincy Date: 27 Sep 00 - 07:03 AM What do you take to a party?????? You take me of course!!!!!! (if you lived a bit closer) Putting in my suggestion early cos I might blush a little once those other 'Catters start! Enjoy yourself, best wishes, Yvonne |
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Subject: RE: Bachelor Party! From: Jock Morris Date: 27 Sep 00 - 07:10 AM Wildest I've seen was in the Clachaig Inn in Glencoe, where the groom was a piper in the folk group Whisky Fingers (anyone heard of them?). By 8pm they were already well rat arsed, by 8:15 they had dragged the groom outside and stripped him stark bollock naked. He staggered back in a few minutes later, picked up his pipes, stood on a table and started playing! To a man (and women) the bar staff picked up their cameras from under the bar and took some photos. Only once the moment had been recoded for posterity did the owner of the Inn ask the groom to put his underwear back on:-) What an evening! |
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Subject: RE: Bachelor Party! From: Peg Date: 27 Sep 00 - 10:40 AM One of the fondest memories I have of my days as an exotic dancer (this was about ten years ago now) was when I worked a bachelor party. But not just any bachelor party. I was working the day shift, it was dead, the only other dancer on duty was a wild-eyed blond with a preference for Budweiser and day-glo bikinis (I wore mostly black lace lingerie, myself). Anywho, this group of guys came in. Not typical customers. They looked, well, kinda smart and classy, sorta yuppieish. They were very polite and tipped well and made conversation and eye contact in a very non-lewd manner (unlike the usual crowd we got during the days--old guys who lived alone, potato farmers, maybe a student or two from one of ht emany colleges in the area). After a bit one of the guys came to the bar and asked if he could talk to me. He asked if I would be interested in attending a little bachelor party they were having. Turns out these guys were all from Manhattan, and they came to the little get-away cottage owned by one of their parents in Massachusetts. Their idea of a bachelor party was to go play pool at the local strip joint (a dive in the middle of nowhere), come back to the cottage for an amazing gourmet meal (leg of lamb, chocolate torte, etc.), quaff cognac and smoke Cuban cigars. The idea of hiring a stripper was an afterthought, apparently. I had never done this sort of thing before (and never duid after) and asked the advice of one of the night shift dancers about it. She advised me not to do it unless I brought a driver or bodyguard-type escort. I appreciated her advice but these guys seemed very safe. So I went alone. It ended up being an incredibly fun evening. They were all kinda shocked to find out they got the stripper with the Masters' Degree. We had such a fun time talking they were almost reluctant to ask me to dance (but of course that is why I was there in the first place). They did not have a tape player so we had to find music from the ancient collection of LPs! I think we settled on Earth, Wind and Fire, which worked rather well. We hung out talking and drinking until about five in the morning. I stayed in touch with them and actually visited two of them (and met one's wife) in New York a couple of times. Anyway, thought I'd throw in that story for what it is worth. To show that not all bachelor parties are created equal, nor should they be. Have fun. peg |
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Subject: RE: Bachelor Party! From: Skipjack K8 Date: 27 Sep 00 - 11:32 AM Aww, Peg, neither of your photo's seem to cover that period of your career!! Seriously, brave and dignified. Thanks Skipjack |
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Subject: RE: Bachelor Party! From: Mrrzy Date: 27 Sep 00 - 11:39 AM IF you're planning on having drinks, whether alco or not, DON'T FORGET THE ICE. Just a piece of advice from someone who did... |
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Subject: RE: Bachelor Party! From: Bert Date: 27 Sep 00 - 12:04 PM For songs, do a search of DT using @BAWDY |
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Subject: RE: Bachelor Party! From: Naemanson Date: 27 Sep 00 - 12:14 PM Thanks, bert, but I've got a pretty good supply of bawdy songs. You might say I have a special interest in them. I think I'm looking more for songs or poems that warn against marriage. In this context they should be pretty funny. |
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Subject: RE: Bachelor Party! From: Peg Date: 27 Sep 00 - 12:32 PM Well, there's "Making Whoopie," the classic "don't get married" song... and what is the one, "Brown Eyes"? where the line says "A woman don't know half her sorrow/until she has married a man" Skipjack, thanks. No photos of me at work in those days, sorry! There are plenty of me fully dressed, however.
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Subject: RE: Bachelor Party! From: Mbo Date: 27 Sep 00 - 12:33 PM From Punch magazine--"Advice to those about to get married: don't. OK boys, a one, and a two...
I'm getting married in the moooooorning! --Matt |
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Subject: RE: Bachelor Party! From: Bert Date: 27 Sep 00 - 12:38 PM And if there's any Irish in his family you could sing 'Begorra' |
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Subject: RE: Bachelor Party! From: SINSULL Date: 27 Sep 00 - 12:46 PM Peg, I am still waiting to hear your professional name. Ready to divulge the secret? |
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Subject: RE: Bachelor Party! From: Peg Date: 27 Sep 00 - 12:52 PM Sinsull; it is so mundane it might just disappoint you... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bachelor Party! From: Naemanson Date: 27 Sep 00 - 07:56 PM No Irish in his background. He is from Virginia by way of Minnesota. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bachelor Party! From: Lonesome EJ Date: 27 Sep 00 - 08:34 PM Peg.I think a Pagan traditional-music loving exotic dancer with a master's degree is exactly what we need at this bachelor's party,especially with black lace lingerie |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bachelor Party! From: WyoWoman Date: 28 Sep 00 - 01:56 AM Wait, LEEJ. You've got to find out what the Master's is in....black lingerie isn't everything. ww
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Subject: RE: BS: Bachelor Party! From: Peg Date: 28 Sep 00 - 11:09 AM LOL! It's an MFA in English (film studies minor). I bring it with me to Starbucks and, along with a buck seventy-five it gets me a medium latte... I now wish I had stayed in theatre and gotten a costume design major, but hindsight is always 20-20 isn't it? Lingerie rules! I used to collect lots of lacy Victorian vintage stuff. Most of it doesn't fit me anymore but it's kinda fun to have anyway. Okay, boys, where's the bar? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bachelor Party! From: GUEST,Mbo_at_ECU Date: 28 Sep 00 - 11:16 AM I think Peg has stolen the show! WORSHIIIIIIP! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bachelor Party! From: Uncle_DaveO Date: 28 Sep 00 - 11:18 AM Maybe Peg would come out of retirement just for the party??? Dave Oesterreich |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bachelor Party! From: Naemanson Date: 28 Sep 00 - 11:21 AM Stand back, boys, give her some elbow room! Hey barkeep! Whatever she wants, give us two!
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Subject: RE: BS: Bachelor Party! From: Catrin Date: 28 Sep 00 - 11:24 AM He's got a chopper Oh what a wopper Get me to the church on time!
Catrin's less than mature offering*BG* |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bachelor Party! From: WyoWoman Date: 28 Sep 00 - 11:32 AM Hye, Peg, I have a degree in film, too. It's proved as helpful and essential to me as to you. My minor in theater has also siginificantly altered my financial bottom line, let me tell ya. At least it's ruined me for being able to watch Hollywood movies with any degree of enjoyment, and that's not a BAD thing. OK, now... for the party. Here's what you shouldn't do: I went to a "bachelorette" party a few years back and when we came in, the hostess had a handful of these little rubbery plastic penises, which she proceeded to pin on each of us as a party favor. I couldn't stand it after a while -- I was feeling too much sympathetic agony -- and took mine off after a while. The "girls" went out bar-hopping after the party and wore theirs the entire time, I understand. Geez, what a way to start a conversation -- and a marriage... ww |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bachelor Party! From: wysiwyg Date: 28 Sep 00 - 12:32 PM An inflatable, anatomically correct sheep is always in order. Sorry, can't recall where I ordered the last one from. But it came in a little brown wrapper. They never get headaches and they clean up nice. You can take 'em to town and everything. ~S~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bachelor Party! From: Peg Date: 28 Sep 00 - 01:58 PM hmmm, shall I bring my collection of old Playboy magazines, circa 1960 through 1978? Not a silicone boob in the bunch (that I know of anyway)... Okay, boys, no sense in roasting, er, toasting the bacheor with anything but the best! How about a nice bottle of champagne to start? Ice cold, naturally! Hmm, you're right, too wussy. Okay, home-brewed porter all around! And on the menu: some chilled tenderloin of beef (I had this at a promo party for Garmarna a few weeks ago and it was amazing) with country mustard...and some grilled asparagus brushed with garlic marinade...smoked trout salad on crackers...and a nice selection of bangers! Real ones. With dipping sauce.
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Subject: RE: BS: Bachelor Party! From: Naemanson Date: 28 Sep 00 - 03:39 PM Bangers? Are you in the UK? The only bangers I know of are sausages and I only know that because of the British TV series "All Creatures Great and Small". |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bachelor Party! From: Peg Date: 28 Sep 00 - 03:56 PM no I live in Boston; but I like to call 'em bangers cuz the UK is where I have had the best sausages (freshly made at the butcher's shop of course). |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bachelor Party! From: GUEST,Skipjack at home, near Boston UK Date: 28 Sep 00 - 04:03 PM Aww, Peg, ya didnae tell me you were over this side of the pond. Have to agree with you about the bangers, though. Skipjack |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bachelor Party! From: Linda Kelly Date: 28 Sep 00 - 04:58 PM A friend who shall remain nameless was plied with Alcohol dressed up in woman's clothing and put on the North Sea ferry to Rotterdam. There was very nearly a divorce before there was a marriage.... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bachelor Party! From: Uncle_DaveO Date: 28 Sep 00 - 04:59 PM True story: Years ago, one of the law clerks for the judge I worked for was getting married. The judge did a lot of phoning, and found a farm where he could BUY A SHEEP to give the law clerk, with the understanding that the farmer would buy her back for a lesser amount. The story of how the judge and another law clerk got the ewe into and transported her in the judge's car to the party (and how the car smelled afterwards) was hilarious! Dave Oesterreich |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bachelor Party! From: AllisonA(Animaterra) Date: 28 Sep 00 - 05:04 PM I hate to admit this but I know exactly what a car smells like after it has had a sheep in it (and during, as well...) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bachelor Party! From: Micca Date: 28 Sep 00 - 05:39 PM a certain catter (female), had a batchelorette party at a Folk festival, men were permitted to attend only if they wore dresses, otherwise they were debagged. 13 guys turned up!!!! and one went back and put trousers on just so he could be debagged!!! there are pix (unfortunately not in my possession) of the bride to be and friends and the guys dancing the Can-Can across the pub car park, all highly "lubricated".......The Grooms stag do was a much tamer affair... |
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Subject: Lyr Add: ON AGAIN, ON AGAIN^^ From: GUEST,Greyeyes Date: 28 Sep 00 - 05:53 PM How about this one from Jake Thakeray I love a good bum on a woman it makes my day, To me it is palpable proof of God's existence a- Posteriori also I love breasts and arms and ankles elbows knees, It's the tongue the tongue the tongue on a woman that spoils the job for me. Please understand I respect and admire the frailer sex. And I honour them every bit as much as the next Misogynist but give some women the ghost of a chance to talk and whereupon, They go on again on again on again on again on again on again on. I fell in love with a woman with wonderful thighs and hips, And a sensational belly, I just never noticed her lips were always moving, only when we got to the altar and she had to say "I do", And she folded her arms, gathered herself, took in a breath and I knew She could have gone on again on again on again till the entire Congregation passed out and the vicar passed on and the choir boys Passed through puberty, at the reception I gloomily noticed her family's jubilant mood, There maniacal laughter and their ghastly gratitude. She talks to me when I go for shave or a sleep or a swim, She talks to me on a Sunday when I go singing hymns, or drinking heavily, When I go mending chimney pots she's down there on the street, And at 95 on my motorbike she's on the pillion seat Whittering on again on again on and again and again, When I'm eating or drinking or reading or thinking or when I'm saying my rosary she will never stop talking she is one of those women who will never use 3 or 4 words when a couple of thousand will easily do. She also talks without stopping to me in our bed of a night, Throughout the sweetest of our intimate delights, she never gives over, not even stopping when we go hammer and tongs towards the peak, Except perhaps for a sigh, and a groan, and one perfunctory shriek. Then she goes on again on again on again and I must Assume that she has never noticed that she's just been interrupted totally unruffled is she and as far as I can see I might just as well have been posting a letter or stirring up the tea. She will not take a hint, not once she's made a start, I can yawn, or belch, or bleed, or faint, or fart, She won't drop a syllable, I can stand in front of her grimly sharpening up an axe, I can sprinkle her with paraffin and ask her for a match. She'd just go on again on again on again even more, The hind legs of a donkey are peanuts to her she can bore The balls off a buffalo, "Mother of God" I cried one day "oh let your kingdom come "But in the meantime Mother won't you strike this bugger dumb?" Well believe it or not she appeared to me then and there, The Blessed Virgin herself in answer to my prayer Despite the vulgarity, shimmering softly dressed in blue and holding up a hand, I cocked a pious ear as the Mother of God began. She went on again on again on again on and I Will have to state how very much I sympathise with the rest of the family Give some women the ghost of a chance to talk and whereupon They go on again on again on again on again on again on again on. You need to hear it sung to get the full affect, the pauses at the end and in the middle of lines make it funnier than it reads |