BS: Rules for Kittens in Mudcattery

Subject: RE: BS: Rules for Kittens in Mudcattery
From: Amos
Date: 06 Jan 09 - 04:17 PM

Rule 3:

If Amos appears wrong, consult Jock.

Subject: RE: BS: Rules for Kittens in Mudcattery
From: Megan L
Date: 06 Jan 09 - 04:23 PM

Aye and rule 4. half the lies that pair tell are fibs the other half are jist plain false

Subject: RE: BS: Rules for Kittens in Mudcattery
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 06 Jan 09 - 04:48 PM

Lame excuse of "lateral thinking" sounds like a bunch of litterbox thinking.

What the hell, carrying on playing....

     /\     /\
    {  `---'  }
    {  O   O  }
    ~~>  V  <~~
     \  \|/  /
      `-----'__
      /     \  `^\_
     {       }\ |\_\_   W
     |  \_/  |/ /  \_\_( )
      \__/  /(_E     \__/
        (  /
         MM

Subject: RE: BS: Rules for Kittens in Mudcattery
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Jan 09 - 05:11 PM

Rapaire, you have taken the state of mind normally termed "delusions of grandeur" and you have advanced it into a whole new amplitude of megalomania probably not seen since Nero plagued the City of Rome. Thankfully, however, you are, unlike Nero, relatively powerless. That is what permits me to still sleep with reasonable calm each night.

Shane cares nothing for your mad assertions about his supposed demise. If he wear a dog, he would lift his leg and demonstrate in a fully contemptuous fashion exactly what he thinks about those unfounded assertions.

You have lost it, good sir. You are rambling out of control down a highway of illusion. The streetcar of your mind has left the rails and is veering drunkenly off the road. The parrot of your sense of proportion is dead and has fallen off the perch. You have become unhinged. You have one foot in the loony bin and the other flailing around in empty air. You know not what you say. Your place in the coherent Universe has become officially vacant and will shortly be re-assigned to an unemployed clairvoyant rickshaw driver from Calcutta. Let's hope he makes better use of it than you did.

Subject: RE: BS: Rules for Kittens in Mudcattery
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Jan 09 - 05:47 PM

If he wear a dog....

What sort of dog would he wear? A boozehound?

Moreover, you have posted the bulk of your bulk twice: here and in MOAB. Have you no originality?

Subject: RE: BS: Rules for Kittens in Mudcattery
From: Amos
Date: 06 Jan 09 - 06:04 PM

Um...Li'l Hawk:

That's pretty het up and vociferous defense for an imaginary character, even if he is your very own.

Next time you are passing by a perspective stand, be sure and grab some. You'll LOVE it!!!



A

Subject: RE: BS: Rules for Kittens in Mudcattery
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 06 Jan 09 - 06:07 PM

Anyone not using their real name is imaginary

Subject: RE: BS: Rules for Kittens in Mudcattery
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Jan 09 - 06:11 PM

Uh-huh. And what is your real name, pray tell?

Subject: RE: BS: Rules for Kittens in Mudcattery
From: Gurney
Date: 06 Jan 09 - 06:30 PM

Hey Megan, "Half the lies that pair tell are fibs...."

If it's a lie of a lie, is it the truth?

Don't bother. Women generally confuse me, anyway. Along with most of life.

Amos does too, but he aporogizes.

Amos, are you further implying that Shane is LH's nom de plume?

Subject: RE: BS: Rules for Kittens in Mudcattery
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Jan 09 - 09:16 PM

No, LH is Shame's alter ego (such as it is). Shame McBride was real before he croaked; Little Hawk was unreal but it now the only thing left of Shame. If this confuses you, reading MOAB from end to end will straighten you out.

Subject: RE: BS: Rules for Kittens in Mudcattery
From: robomatic
Date: 06 Jan 09 - 11:32 PM

i swear to christ after imbibing this thread i know whut it is like to be on a spaceship wi' nought but tellyphone sanitizers!

Subject: RE: BS: Rules for Kittens in Mudcattery
From: robomatic
Date: 06 Jan 09 - 11:35 PM

R I P douglas adams!

Subject: RE: BS: Rules for Kittens in Mudcattery
From: Gurney
Date: 06 Jan 09 - 11:42 PM

LH is unreal? Or is he 'Unreal, Man!!'

I've always judged LH too sensible, not to mention too conservative, to ever have any kind of close contact with Shane. Obviously, another misjudgement on my part.

MOAB? I did a search, and the only hit was Monoclonal Antibodies, and I never read anything that I can't pronounce.

Subject: RE: BS: Rules for Kittens in Mudcattery
From: Janie
Date: 07 Jan 09 - 12:13 AM

Ebbie,

Just to make sure Jeri has disturbing images for another night, whether it is veingoreous or veingorgeous depends on if, and how bad, they are bleeding.

(Okay, okay...I'll get me coat.........)

Subject: RE: BS: Rules for Kittens in Mudcattery
From: catspaw49
Date: 07 Jan 09 - 02:27 AM

There has been some discussion about a battle of Colonoscopies if we can't get funding for a new Crepitation Contest.........

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Rules for Kittens in Mudcattery
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 07 Jan 09 - 02:56 AM

MY THREAD MY THREAD! No spats. Back to your corners gentleman or I put you in the alley.

Subject: RE: BS: Rules for Kittens in Mudcattery
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 07 Jan 09 - 07:10 AM

Tut tut Vermont, cool it.

Subject: RE: BS: Rules for Kittens in Mudcattery
From: GUEST,Mr Red
Date: 07 Jan 09 - 08:12 AM

My name is real enough - it identifies me, more than my name could and there is no hiding with a name like mine..

So. Am I posting this or am I imagining it?

Subject: RE: BS: Rules for Kittens in Mudcattery
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Jan 09 - 09:06 AM

Since I created everyone here (and elsewhere) you are imagining it because my imagination imagines you imagining it. Imagine that!

Subject: RE: BS: Rules for Kittens in Mudcattery
From: GUEST,LTS pretending to work
Date: 07 Jan 09 - 09:37 AM

I'm very very confused....

Are you all figments of my imagination (or in the case of Mr Red, a pigment of my imagination) or am I a figment of yours or are we all just fignewtons of the imagination of the Great Green Arklseizure and should be awaiting the coming of the Great White Handkerchief?

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Rules for Kittens in Mudcattery
From: GUEST,Nurse E. Nuff
Date: 07 Jan 09 - 11:39 AM

Okay, everybody, medication time now!

Virginia, dear, now be a good girl and take your Restoril. If you cooperate, maybe I'll consider untying those long sleeves a bit once your face stops being plum coloured.

Rappie, my boy, seeing as your ego is already as inflated as can be, here's a little blue pill for you.

Liz, I told you not to overdo it at work. Take your Prozac, my dear. Come on now, we'll take a nice, restful stroll in the garden to feed your tits, how about that?

As for the rest of you: Look sharp, OR ELSE....

Subject: RE: BS: Rules for Kittens in Mudcattery
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Jan 09 - 12:50 PM

We solipsists are never understood....

Subject: RE: BS: Rules for Kittens in Mudcattery
From: Amos
Date: 07 Jan 09 - 01:11 PM

Understanding a solipsist is categorically impossible. Whatever you come up with he'll tell you he did it. It's a metaphysical journey into the depths of Insanity, where the whirlwind blender of apparency empties into the corroded drain of Truth, and one can only spin endlessly in contemplation.

Best not to go there.


A

Subject: RE: BS: Rules for Kittens in Mudcattery
From: Sleepy Rosie
Date: 07 Jan 09 - 01:34 PM

I think that what VTam is trying to do nicely, is ask you gents to please be considerate and not utterly derail her thread. To persist, after having been politely requested not to do so, is I'm afraid to say, somewhat rude.

This isn't my thread, and frankly I didn't contribute anything other than complete bullshit here myself! But if the OP requested that I stay on topic, I would respect that request.

Subject: RE: BS: Rules for Kittens in Mudcattery
From: Megan L
Date: 07 Jan 09 - 01:37 PM

No one owns threads unless you count Max the rest of are merely guests.

Subject: RE: BS: Rules for Kittens in Mudcattery
From: Sleepy Rosie
Date: 07 Jan 09 - 01:45 PM

There isn't an 'ownership' issue, just a courtesy one. And that's where I'll leave it. I had a PM myself from another poster (on an unrelated matter), who was rather dissapointed to see this thread descend into banter. That's possibly another reason I was inclined to post what I did myself. Apart from the courtesy issue, I love all the bullshit banter that goes on here.

Subject: RE: BS: Rules for Kittens in Mudcattery
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 07 Jan 09 - 02:01 PM

oh dear...

I don't feel I own the thread, and not too fussed if it gets dragged off topic. I just don't like the fighting. Maybe I misinterpretted the banter as heated sniping.

Thank you Rosie for sticking up for me though. Very kind.

I was half considered coming in as Guest:Physiotherapist Ivana Hurtu

Start throwing threatening looks around, in a Frau Blucher fashion. Especially since guest Nurse E. Nuff was threating to tranquilise me. Geesh! I am the calm one.

Subject: RE: BS: Rules for Kittens in Mudcattery
From: Little Hawk
Date: 07 Jan 09 - 02:10 PM

We aren't fighting! We're goofing around in our usual ridiculous manner, just in order to demonstrate how that works so that you will be aware of it when you happen to run into it in future...and also, of course, because we're silly people with little or no self control and even less judgement and much time on our hands... ;-)

Gurney, your original view of me was quite correct. In real life I would generally make some effort to avoid people like Shane, though I will sort of observe them from a safe distance...it supplies me with ideas for future stories.

Subject: RE: BS: Rules for Kittens in Mudcattery
From: gnu
Date: 07 Jan 09 - 02:10 PM

Spaw... "...battle of Colonoscopies...". For control of The Alimentary Canal?

Subject: RE: BS: Rules for Kittens in Mudcattery
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 07 Jan 09 - 02:15 PM

Interestingly, from the posts here and elsewhere today, I think this must be about the time that Sleepy Rosie graduates from kitten to cat.

As for Rapaire, the reason no-one understands a solipsist is because there is no-one else so to understand.

Subject: RE: BS: Rules for Kittens in Mudcattery
From: Little Hawk
Date: 07 Jan 09 - 02:25 PM

Pay no attention to Rapaire. He's auditioning for the part of "God" in the next parallel Universe over from this one, and he can be expected to carry on in the same manner until he either gets the part or they turn him down.

Subject: RE: BS: Rules for Kittens in Mudcattery
From: Amos
Date: 07 Jan 09 - 03:12 PM

Actually this is a vivid demonstration of part of the Code: "thy thread shall wander; be not afeared or distraught thereby." There is a lot of energy and enthusiasm in 'Catters as a rule, and trying to rule them straight is a bit like herding wet cats.

A

Subject: RE: BS: Rules for Kittens in Mudcattery
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Jan 09 - 03:14 PM

LH, just for that I'm not going to think of you for a couple of hours.

So there.

Subject: RE: BS: Rules for Kittens in Mudcattery
From: Amos
Date: 07 Jan 09 - 04:01 PM

Rapaire:

I'm sorry--WHO did you say you were going to not think of????


A

Subject: RE: BS: Rules for Kittens in Mudcattery
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Jan 09 - 05:00 PM

I dunno...I'm not thinking of whoever it was.

Subject: RE: BS: Rules for Kittens in Mudcattery
From: Little Hawk
Date: 07 Jan 09 - 06:41 PM

Odd. I seem to have lost a couple of hours today...

Subject: RE: BS: Rules for Kittens in Mudcattery
From: michaelr
Date: 07 Jan 09 - 07:01 PM

AHEM -- back to the topic.

Virginia, you just posted a lyric (Merlin's Song) apparently without first doing a search to see whether it was already here (which it is, as Malcolm Douglas pointed out).

That's one of those things to be avoided. MD gets quite annoyed at redundancy.

Cheers,
Michael

Subject: RE: BS: Rules for Kittens in Mudcattery
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 07 Jan 09 - 07:05 PM

I have gone on a whisky diet, and last week I lost 2 days.

Subject: RE: BS: Rules for Kittens in Mudcattery
From: Azizi
Date: 07 Jan 09 - 09:58 PM

I've just posted a comment on this thread RE: BS: Native Behaviors in Mudcat Society. That comment refers, in part, to this thread.

I'm interested in any responses on that thread about that comment.

Thanks,

Azizi

Subject: RE: BS: Rules for Kittens in Mudcattery
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 08 Jan 09 - 01:54 AM

Michael - re posting duplicate lyrics (Merlin's Song)I am in current PM conversation with Joe Offer about this. For some reason searching the current forum and the Old Adv Forum Search (as Joe advised) in quick links is not yeilding any results for me.

I searched, Merlin and Merlin's Song and came up with only about 3 threads none of which had the lyrics I posted. After I posted mine, suddenly search reveals more. Same thing happened with Gay Green Gown.

Joe said is ok for me to post, he can always fix later. if someone can tell me why my Dell from Hell laptop or maybe it is BT Broadband is choking my searches, I would appreciate it.

Azizi - thanks for the cross reference and good thoughts. Don;t know what to say on this. Need to have a think and come back to it when I have more time. Time to get ready for real job.

Subject: RE: BS: Rules for Kittens in Mudcattery
From: Gurney
Date: 08 Jan 09 - 02:08 AM

I'll point out that on other forums there seem to be rankings, depending on what I am not sure, but I presume either time or number of postings.
I've never noticed that here, and if there are, no-one ever pointed it out to me. I've been here a couple of years.

Another specific-interest forum that I'm on rates me as a cadet, despite 40 years of experience in the field.
Oddly enough, they don't seem to have ODs or sqaddies, just ossifers.

So, Tam, several people on this site have, to my personal knowledge, more than 30 years of professional experience in the genre, and are treated pretty much the same as any newby. No rankings, you aren't a kitten in a cattery, but you are on a site well populated with mature, clever, experienced, talented, and often light-hearted adults. Don't take it too seriously.

Subject: RE: BS: Rules for Kittens in Mudcattery
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 08 Jan 09 - 02:42 AM

Is this where I can get my Mudcat Personna analyzed, or am I in the wrong thread?
Seriously, Virginia Plain or whatever you said your name was, don't get upset at the constant onslaught of invective and abuse that is our standard method of expressing affection at Mudcat. Many of us are actually prisoners in various institutions scattered throughout the country, and we while away the hours by reinventing ourselves as Trad Music afficianados on this site. Hell, I couldn't tell you the difference between Merle Travis and Travis Bickle.
Just as in our various prisons, certain "code phrases" are often used on this forum. To outsiders, rookies, and the innocent, when I tell Catspaw to "bite me in the ass, numbnuts", it may seem as though I disapprove of him. This is in fact NOT the case. What I'm actually communicating to him is "you are a great guy and I highly approve of you." Catspaw, in a maximum security prison in Southern Ohio, knows exactly what I mean, and may reply "go spit on your pecker and shove it in a light socket", which translates to "I hear you and reaffirm our friendship". Such exchanges are often confused with actual verbal abuse, which does in fact happen from time to time. Just a month ago, I told Amos, in his cell at San Quentin, to "take your attitude, fold it in the shape of a cowboy hat, and shove it up your ass". While I meant it literally, he took it as the password to launch his long-planned for tunnel escape, was apprehended in the act, and received another 7 years of hard time. So mistakes do happen.
The best advice I can give you, Virginia Slim, is keep your mouth shut, pay attention, and never indulge in ANY exchanges with Bobert, who is actually a serial molester being held in solitary in Wheeling State Prison.
Virginia, I'd like to conclude with good luck, welcome, and bite my ass, numbnuts. I think you'll like it here.

Subject: RE: BS: Rules for Kittens in Mudcattery
From: Lizzie Cornish 1
Date: 08 Jan 09 - 03:26 AM

You know, all threads drift. It's the same if you put a group of people in one room for a natter. Relaxed conversation tends to go all over the place.

It's back to memories of the way John Tams talks and tells stories, how he goes off at tangents all the time.

Some people adore driving down the motorway, straight roads, no turn offs, nothing to distract from getting to the destination as fast as possible.

John loves to take the country lanes. He takes you to look at the flowers, drops into the villages, he gets out and talks to the post mistress, has a drink in the pub and make the journey relaxed and enjoyable, with laughter and warmth along the way.   

John rambles and it's a bit magical the way he does it, but somehow, nothing gets lost, only added to.

There have been many very funny and witty exchanges in this thread, from Tam as much as other people, and I love to read threads that are filled with wit and good humour.

Yes, if you're trying to discuss something serious then it can be irritating I guess, but I think Tam started this thread with more than a little light-hearted humour, alongside the genuine questions.

You can't have a whole pile of cats and kittens together without some very funny things happening. Some will scrap all the time, but most will play, chase each other round, behave in the zaniest of ways, run up the curtains, over the chairs, skidaddle into the garden, dash through the litter tray, then end up purring on your lap, looking at you with huge eyes, filled with love.....and you can't help but smile.

I much prefer the BS threads because they're filled with chuckles, from amazingly clever minds which spark brightly off one another, as old friends always do.   I'm totally addicted to the Below Stairs Cats and they've added to my wrinkles no end, luckily making them all go upwards with smiles. :0)

Just a few of the naughty cats (Joe's in blue) :0)

Subject: RE: BS: Rules for Kittens in Mudcattery
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 08 Jan 09 - 06:06 AM

EJ, it was mentioned in passing the other day, that it is a bad thing to do on Mudcat. To insult your friends and call it a joke.
Can you clarify the confusion this has caused?

Subject: RE: BS: Rules for Kittens in Mudcattery
From: GUEST,LTS pretending to work
Date: 08 Jan 09 - 08:15 AM

Actually, you should be glad the way the thread has diverted the way it has.. it could so easily have descended into the sniping, back stabbing, perpertual carping and ramming of opinions down the throat that so many other innocent threads have become.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Rules for Kittens in Mudcattery
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 Jan 09 - 09:10 AM

Har! Har! Great post, L.E.J.

Subject: RE: BS: Rules for Kittens in Mudcattery
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 08 Jan 09 - 11:34 AM

EJ, it was mentioned in passing the other day, that it is a bad thing to do on Mudcat. To insult your friends and call it a joke.
Can you clarify the confusion this has caused?
Well actually Giok, if I tell Spaw to bite my ass he wouldn't consider it an insult. If I wanted to insult him I would say something far more nasty and personal. I won't do that, because I like Catspaw. Now if you consider my comment an insult, that's your perception, and I reserve the right to not behave according to what your expectations might be.
Now excuse me, it's my turn in the Exercise Yard.

Subject: RE: BS: Rules for Kittens in Mudcattery
From: Amos
Date: 08 Jan 09 - 11:53 AM

Is this where I can get my Mudcat Personna analyzed, or am I in the wrong thread?


For you, amigo, just 'cuz it's you, we'll do a deal. I'll analyze your persona for you, and you can bite my ass and swallow the cowboy hat which cost me seven years!!

While Lonesome presents the exterior image in his posts of a sensitive, brilliant, articulate, poetic, colorful, insightful author who somehow manages to write the best fiction on the 'Cat, with deep characterization and fast-moving plots and clever turns of event and beautifully crafted phrases, the sad truth is, the man is a goddam liar who has never done any of those things. In real life he stammers and blushes if you say "Good morning" and couldn't write a complete sentence if his life depended on it. He gets turned on by watching his Cheerios, and sleeps with a mauve stuffed rabbit, wears rubber shoes and gets by asking strangers for spare change at the local Home Depot, in gasping, broken phrases he somehow manages to blurt out.

You might well ask how he manages to create such a fraudulent persona, and indeed it is a good question, worthy of a sociological thesis. The short answer is, on the Internet, nobody knows you're a dog.


A

Subject: RE: BS: Rules for Kittens in Mudcattery
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 Jan 09 - 11:55 AM

LOL!!! Omigod. Just about fell out of my chair here...

Subject: RE: BS: Rules for Kittens in Mudcattery
From: bfdk
Date: 08 Jan 09 - 12:33 PM

Don't leave a warm chair for too long, LH, you'll find it occupied by a dachshund when you come to reclaim it.

Terry..? TERRY!!!!!