BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 23 Feb 07 - 07:31 AM

Female Vicar I assume?

G

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Rowan
Date: 23 Feb 07 - 08:23 PM

Fron Dibley?

Cheers, Rowan

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Scrump
Date: 08 Mar 07 - 12:04 PM

Speaking of tits, I noticed we have what appears to be a mad blue-tit in our garden. It exhibits strange but entertaining behaviour. We have a climbing rose plant that goes along the wall above our back window, and there's a piece of string hanging down where we tied it up to a wire. This bird likes to swing from this 'rope', then onto a nearby twig, back on the rope, etc., then it goes across to the next window and sits on the windowsill, tapping the glass with its beak as if it wants to come in. It does other odd things too (at least, I've never seen one do these things before). It's very amusing to watch.

I just wondered if anyone else has seen a bird behaving like this, or seen any other odd behaviour from birds?

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 08 Mar 07 - 01:55 PM

It's mating season and he thinks he has a rival... he's showing off to tell the rival (his reflection) and other tits how agile and great he is at finding food.

Tits are happy swinging, unlike other birds who prefer a good stiff perch.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Schantieman
Date: 08 Mar 07 - 03:12 PM

So these two blue tits are sitting on a perch. One says to the other, "Can you smell fish?"



now...where did I put that coat....?

S

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Rowan
Date: 08 Mar 07 - 04:44 PM

"So these two blue tits are sitting on a perch. One says to the other, "Can you smell fish?""

Not furlong!

Sorry

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 08 Mar 07 - 05:41 PM

Was the perch caught with a rod, or a pole?
G.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 09 Mar 07 - 01:39 AM

My tits have a new friend!


A chaffinch appeared fleetingly yesterday! He's a lovely rosy pink and grey but I suspect he's just passing through on the way to one of the parks, to find a mate.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 09 Mar 07 - 02:37 AM

See your tits have found support yet again Liz. If the finch is rosy pink he could well be a Bullfinch rather than chaffinch.....lovely birds the finches...I also love to see pied wagtails around at this time with their tails bobbing up and down....favourite bird however is the Lapwing with its clever aerobatics.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Scrump
Date: 09 Mar 07 - 06:14 AM

Talking of aerobatics, we once - and only once, sadly - saw a flycatcher in our garden (a spotted flycatcher, IIRC). We were sitting out the back one evening and saw this small brown bird (unremarkable in appearance) doing these amazing aerobatic stunts and then landing on the fence. Then off it would go again. Not having seen one before (or since!) we didn't know what it was at first, but then we realised it was catching insects and worked it out.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 09 Mar 07 - 06:17 AM

The male chaffinch in the breeding season develops a very rosy chest in deed, it is is quite likely that Liz is correct. They are the most common bird in our garden in the winter, when we sometimes get as many as 50/60 at a time feeding on and around our bird tables.
Giok

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Scrump
Date: 09 Mar 07 - 08:00 AM

Bullfinches have a black rather than grey head, so it sounds from the description as if it's more likely to be a chaffinch.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 09 Mar 07 - 08:13 AM

Male Chaffinch
G.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Scrump
Date: 09 Mar 07 - 10:16 AM

Oh yeah? Well here's a Bullfinch.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 09 Mar 07 - 10:29 AM

I'll see your Bullfinch, and raise you a Shag

¦¬]


G

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Scrump
Date: 09 Mar 07 - 10:37 AM

LOL, I had the same idea when I posted the Bullfinch link Giok :-)

(But - ooerr! "raise you a shag" sounds a bit dodgy! :-))

Shag? That's tobacco, isn't it - so is this: Ahhh... Condor!

(Can you still get that? I remember it being advertised on telly!)

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 09 Mar 07 - 10:52 AM

It had a green ass, it was a chaffinch.

Either that or it was a bullfinch with some personal hygiene issues.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 12 Mar 07 - 04:43 AM

It's been a lovely sunny weekend here, today is also clear, bright and warm. My tits have been out enjoying the sunshine and have indulged in some quite spectacular stunts. I suspect they're showing off as it's mating season now.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 12 Mar 07 - 05:37 AM

What sort of spectacular stunts have your tits been performing Liz? Nice when its warm and they can be out eh?

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Scrump
Date: 12 Mar 07 - 06:20 AM

Yes, nice to see the tits out in the sun, swinging freely in the breeze. Quick - the smelling salts! That lady in the third row has just fainted!

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 12 Mar 07 - 09:24 AM

They've mainly been hanging (literally) around the feeder, bouncing along the top of the arch like Springheel Jack, flashing their bottoms and generally showing off.

They're busy doing things in the butterfly bush now.. I don't think we need persue that particular activity.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: GUEST,Cruz
Date: 12 Mar 07 - 09:43 AM

You people are just too much. Scrump, that was funny.

Lizzie, you make worn-out old men dizzy with speculations about your tits.

And, as if you thought your last comment would not take-off into yet another string of double entendres.

Lady, you are something else. Thanks for the "blue" laughter.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 12 Mar 07 - 11:12 AM

Guest Cruz...you only have to look at the length of the thread to see how popular Lizs tits have become...almost an institution now!

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Scrump
Date: 12 Mar 07 - 12:06 PM

yet another string of double entendres

Double entendres - nudge, nudge! Like it, squire, like it!

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 12 Mar 07 - 02:02 PM

Stop tittering Scrump!!!!

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 12 Mar 07 - 04:33 PM

Scrump made a booby with that comment!

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Rowan
Date: 12 Mar 07 - 04:53 PM

I hope the booby that Scrump made gave as much pleasure as Liz' tits.

Cheers, Rowan

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 13 Mar 07 - 02:56 AM

277 posts or 278 including this one and I kept abreast of them all. I'll read every one or bust!

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 13 Mar 07 - 03:19 AM

Thanks guys, my tits enjoy your support!

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: jimlad9
Date: 13 Mar 07 - 03:34 AM

Someone please tell me which institution Liz's tits have been put into. Me and the lads will organise a coach trip.

Liz luv,please keep up the good work you help to improve the moralee of us catters and go some way to curing the MALLARDY,gerrit?, that affects us all. You have plenty to CROW about,gerrit?,and your RAVEN stops us PHEASANTS GROUSING, oh sod it !,I can't think of any
more POULTRY attempts at comedy

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 13 Mar 07 - 03:46 AM

You finched that one up didn't you!

Stop ducking the issue, quit your puffin and just say it...

My tits are fabulous! Trouble is, they move too fast for this crappy camera to get a decent picture. By the time I've focused, they've gathered up their nuts and found another bush.

Ornithology has made a big difference in my days. : )

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Scrump
Date: 13 Mar 07 - 11:08 AM

Bah! I missed all the punning and can't think of any more. No missus... titter ye not... now simmer down, we've had bags of fun talking about those birds whose name I dare not speak.

Us ornithog... ornithlo... orno... us bird watchers have always had our knockers. What?

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 13 Mar 07 - 11:22 AM

Liz, have you had many 'Twitchers' around your garden trying to get a glimpse of your tits?

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: jimlad9
Date: 13 Mar 07 - 12:17 PM

Liz

My 20 year old,40-22-36 neighbour says she had a Shag when she went on the beach some Bustards have all the luck.

C'mon Scrump,you can't let this one pass can you/.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 13 Mar 07 - 12:22 PM

She woodcock for a lark, she needs a kick up the chough I think.
G.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Rowan
Date: 13 Mar 07 - 04:39 PM

D'you reckon Liz might be a bower bird?

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 13 Mar 07 - 05:10 PM

Certainly not 'shy talk' this is it? Think I might have a can or two of Kestrel but I won't crow about it or you'll all think I've gone cuckoo. That should give you something to owl about!

Incidentally...what is the most common owl in the UK?

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 13 Mar 07 - 05:12 PM

Is it the brown owl? Is it the snowy owl? Is it the barn owl? Which is it?.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Scrump
Date: 14 Mar 07 - 05:16 AM

The tawny owl?

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 14 Mar 07 - 05:26 AM

Sorry Scrump...it's the 'TEAT' and they are exceptionally common.....

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Rusty Dobro
Date: 14 Mar 07 - 07:13 AM

My turn to take an interest in Liz's tits....

A good start to the day at Dobro Towers: great, blue and long-tailed (puddeny-pokes in this neck of the woods) all waiting for the starlings to finish at the suet balls.

Serious question: where an overflow pipe was removed from the house, there's a small hole halfway up the wall. I've seen blue tits flying up to it and going in, but so far, I haven't seen one coming out. Do you experts know if a blue tit can turn round in such a confined space, or is there an ever-mounting heap of late, deceased, bereft of life blue tits inside the cavity wall? I 'd like to block the hole up to avoid this rather worrying possibility, but would hate to think I'd done so while there's one or two still inside.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: jimlad9
Date: 14 Mar 07 - 08:54 AM

Georgiansilver Re Teats

GGGRROOOAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!, GGGRRRROOOOOOOAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNN!!!!
BLOODY GROAN !!

You should go on the stage,the next one leaves in 2 hours !!

Jim

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Scrump
Date: 14 Mar 07 - 11:53 AM

Serious question: where an overflow pipe was removed from the house, there's a small hole halfway up the wall. I've seen blue tits flying up to it and going in, but so far, I haven't seen one coming out. Do you experts know if a blue tit can turn round in such a confined space, or is there an ever-mounting heap of late, deceased, bereft of life blue tits inside the cavity wall? I 'd like to block the hole up to avoid this rather worrying possibility, but would hate to think I'd done so while there's one or two still inside.

If you wait till the summer you'll probably be safe to do it, but any bereft tits in your cavity (ooerr, missus!) will be difficult to remove. Good idea to block it up anyway, in case you get bees or wasps nesting in there.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 14 Mar 07 - 12:03 PM

Thanks Jimlad...nice to be appreciated...

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: jimlad9
Date: 14 Mar 07 - 02:17 PM

Georgiansilver.

Whatwould you know about being appreciated?,I have heard that when you went out to work your Mum wrapped your lunch in a Road Map

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 14 Mar 07 - 02:33 PM

Awww Jim....and I still got lost.....I loved Geography at school but could never find the classroom. Sad eh?

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Rowan
Date: 14 Mar 07 - 04:33 PM

Rusty,
from south of the equator I'm not sure of the exact timing of the breeding season of your tits so my suggestion might have to wait until any nestlings have flown. A bit of smoke blown into the hole will cause most birds/rodents/etc to vacate the premises rapidly, if they can do so. A bit of burning rubber smoke increases the effect while still staying humane. Deserted eggs won't smell much but you might still want to wait until after the season. The smoke can be blown along a length of tube so that it doesn't represent a barrier between where they are and the exit.

Cheers, Rowan

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 14 Mar 07 - 11:10 PM

They probably sneak out when you're not paying attention.. tits often do. Look at Janet Jacksons!

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 14 Mar 07 - 11:31 PM

Yesterday morning I had two fairly large pigeons trying to land in my butterfly bush... they flapped off rapidly after discovering that their combined weight pushed the branch down just far enough to be within reach of the coiled, furry black spring that was the Raven pussy, just waiting for the perfect breakfast.

They'd been too busy courting to notice him before... He can be a sneaky little pussy when he wants. He's decided that it is his reason d'etre to catch, kill and eat one of the racing pigeons that regularly fly over the house. He'll sit in the front window with his little black nose squashed up to the glass, his back end twitching like a very twitchy thing and make the oddest collection of noises that I suppose in cat language mean something like 'I've got some fava beans and a nice chianti all ready for you'...

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 14 Mar 07 - 11:31 PM

Oh,.....


300!!!!

LTS