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BS: Unofficial Song Challenge!
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Subject: BS: Unofficial Song Challenge! From: mousethief Date: 23 Nov 02 - 11:18 PM I can't live without my song challenge. So while the GG is temporarily indisposed, I hope you will all join me in a little unofficial action. This from Reuters: LONDON, England (Reuters) -- Laptops have always been a hot item but a 50-year-old scientist did not realise to what extent until he burned his penis. The previously healthy father of two remembered feeling a burning sensation after he had been writing a report at home for about an hour with the computer on his lap. He noticed a redness and irritation the following day but it was not until he was examined by a doctor that he realised how much damage had been done. "The ventral part of his scrotal skin had turned red, and there was a blister with a diameter of about two centimetres (0.8 inches)," Claes-Gorn Ostenson, of the Karolinska Institute in Sweden, wrote in a letter published in The Lancet medical journal on Friday. Two days later, the blisters broke and the wounds became infected and then crusted but after about a week the unidentified scientist was "healing quite rapidly." Ostenson noted that the computer manual did warn against operating it directly on exposed skin but said the patient had lap burns even though he had been wearing trousers and underpants. "This...story should be taken as a serious warning against use of a laptop in a literal sense," he added. Go for it! Alex |
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Subject: RE: BS: Unofficial Song Challenge! From: Amos Date: 24 Nov 02 - 12:10 AM This one is a prime candidate for an "I Switched" song! After all -- NOone has ever burned their penis on a Mac!! Neener neener! It was also a WIndows NT computer, I believe that ran the US Navy frigate aground a couple of years ago when it was entrusted with navigating. Why those thangs are almost as frightening as the Moron in the White House! :>) A |
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Subject: RE: BS: Unofficial Song Challenge! From: mousethief Date: 24 Nov 02 - 12:14 AM Yeah yeah yeah let's not turn this into a political thread. Let's see some songs about roasting hot dogs or cooking wieners or whatever. Alex |
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Subject: RE: BS: Unofficial Song Challenge! From: CapriUni Date: 24 Nov 02 - 01:49 AM I don't have a song (yet)... but I do have a question: If the laptop got hot enough to burn him -- in a notoriously sensitive area -- wouldn't that be awfully uncomfortable? I mean, burns like that don't happen instantly. If I were in his position, I think I would've started squirming before any serious damage was done... unless it heated up so slowly, he didn't feel it... Or if he was so totally engrossed in what he was doing... I wonder what he was working on, then... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Unofficial Song Challenge! From: Amos Date: 24 Nov 02 - 07:36 AM Smart question, CU -- it is not as though its a heavily calloused body part, but it is possible he was suffering from psychosomatic insensitivity (numbnuts syndrome). I agree it would be good to know what he was so engrossed in he couldn't feel, or at least smell, his flesh starting to blister. Obviously he was not one of those men whose brain is located in those regions! :>) A new chapter in the absent-minded professor legend! A |
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Subject: RE: BS: Unofficial Song Challenge! From: greg stephens Date: 24 Nov 02 - 07:37 AM Willie McFried |
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Subject: RE: BS: Unofficial Song Challenge! From: Schantieman Date: 24 Nov 02 - 08:50 AM As far as detecting burns by the pain is concerned, it ain't necessarily so. A couple of years ago (the night my wife threw me out!) I stayed with some friends. They gave me a hot water bottle, as the loft bedroom was cold. When I woke up there was a blister on my toe an inch long. I couldn't understand why it hadn't hurt either! ...now, as for the song...... 'scuse me a minute.... Steve |
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Subject: RE: BS: Unofficial Song Challenge! From: Tinker Date: 24 Nov 02 - 09:26 AM Hmmmm.... lets see Sam the Hot Dog Man has possibilities or maybe Hot Nuts for Sale..... I guess I'm gonna have to think on this a little bit....but it definately needs a Roots blues....Or maybe My Pencil Don't Write No More..... Tinker |
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Subject: RE: BS: Unofficial Song Challenge! From: McGrath of Harlow Date: 24 Nov 02 - 12:11 PM What kind of websites was he surfing not to be aware that he was getting overheated? Your heatin' part will make you weep You'll cry and cry and try to sleep But sleep won't come the whole night through Your heatin' part will tell on you... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Unofficial Song Challenge! From: Charley Noble Date: 24 Nov 02 - 12:12 PM The "scientist" was probably browsing through a porn website and was confusing pain with pleasure. Charley Noble |
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Subject: RE: BS: Unofficial Song Challenge! From: Tinker Date: 24 Nov 02 - 01:58 PM Okay here's a start... It started this song in my mind and with minor modificaations... Burnt Out Blues Tune: My Pencil Won't Write No More B.Carter Now listen here folks, I've a sad tale to tell Technology burnt my pencil, with a laptop Dell Chorus: And now my lead's all gone Oh the lead's all gone Oh the lead's all gone This pencil won't write no more. I laid down in my bed, just to type out a line I couldn't feel my ol' laptop heatin' up so fine I gets out of my bed, laid it down on the floor I but it scorched my ol' pencil, it won't write no more I met a hot mama, I want to love her so bad I burnt all the lead in the pencil I had I hugged and I kissed her all last night There wasn't nothin' more cause my pencil won't write Man, protect your pencils, keyboards aren't the same If that lead goes up in flames it's a cryin' shame It brought to mind this thread previous thread on pencils |
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Subject: RE: BS: Unofficial Song Challenge! From: katlaughing Date: 24 Nov 02 - 04:36 PM With apologies to the Beatles. Such as it is, feel free to make changes. Anything would be better, eh?! **BG** Hey Dude, don't burn it bad The computer won't make it better Remember laptops sit upon the table Then your willie will start to get better Hey Dude, don't be afraid Even with blisters you'll still get her The minute the heat gets under your skin Whoops, there goes your pecker! And anytime you feel the pain Hey Dude refrain Don't carry the 'puter upon your thighs For well you know that it's a fool Who plays it cool By making his willie a little hotter Da da da da da Da da da da |
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Subject: RE: BS: Unofficial Song Challenge! From: katlaughing Date: 24 Nov 02 - 04:57 PM Missed yours, Tink, I got called away in the middle of posting. Well done!! I really like yours!! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Unofficial Song Challenge! From: Tinker Date: 24 Nov 02 - 06:02 PM Kat check the original lyrics.... this one was too easy...Original found here Tinker |
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Subject: RE: BS: Unofficial Song Challenge! From: katlaughing Date: 24 Nov 02 - 07:50 PM Ah! Thanks! Reminds me of another I learned from a tape of Roy Book Binder's Cigarette Blues. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Unofficial Song Challenge! From: Genie Date: 24 Nov 02 - 09:03 PM Hey, Alex, thanks for the Challenge! (If this works out, maybe Aine will make ya an associate deity!) ¤;-D |
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Subject: RE: BS: Unofficial Song Challenge! From: Genie Date: 24 Nov 02 - 09:13 PM All that comes to mind so far is: The web's a seductive thing, Networked with a token ring,* It plays to base desires; Before you know, you've a Lap of Fire. "I fell prey to a burning Lap of Fire, As the files loaded down The heat got higher, And it turned my groin, To a Lap of Fire, a Lap of Fire. Genie *I know that line needs work. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Unofficial Song Challenge! From: mousethief Date: 25 Nov 02 - 02:18 AM I was thinking of something to the tune of "Killing Floor"... Well I burned my lemon, till the blister big and white Yeah I burned my lemon, till the blister big and white Now my girl cain't squeeze it, be no lemonade tonight... Then I was thinking of Robert Johnson's "Hot Tamales"... Heat'd my wally till it's red hot, yass you know what I mean Heat'd my wally till it's red hot, yass you know what I mean Well I fired up my modem Jumped online Smelled somethin' cookin' Looked down to find I'd Heat'd my wally till it's red hot, yass, you know what I mean But I think I"ll finally go with ... Well I wish I had a heat-protected wiener That is what I wish I had to piss For if I had a heat-protected wiener My laptop would'na burned it to a crisp You guys are great -- great song entries! I don't have any of the GG's usual stock of awards but I want to do something so I shall give my own brand of award, the BRONZED MOUSE DROPPING (or BMD) for sending anything at all (other awards of more varied sorts to come after a longer period as per the GG's practice) to: McGrath of Harlow for this painfully funny quatrain: Your heatin' part will make you weep You'll cry and cry and try to sleep But sleep won't come the whole night through Your heatin' part will tell on you... And to Tinker for this excruciatingly humorous couplet: I gets out of my bed, laid it down on the floor I but it scorched my ol' pencil, it won't write no more And to Katlaughing for this hot verse: Hey Dude, don't be afraid Even with blisters you'll still get her The minute the heat gets under your skin Whoops, there goes your pecker! And to Genie for this wickedly funny chorus: I fell prey to a burning Lap of Fire, As the files loaded down The heat got higher, And it turned my groin, To a Lap of Fire, a Lap of Fire. Don't spend your BMD's all in one place, now. Accepted like cash in hundredths of places worldwide. Keep up the good work, y'all! Alex O..O =o= |
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Subject: RE: BS: Unofficial Song Challenge! From: Jack the Sailor Date: 25 Nov 02 - 02:34 AM Porno floating down the internet wire. So raunchy, he's curling up his toes. Claes-Gorn Ostenson, he's not in a choir. Computer surfing he has chose. Every body knows, hot water can burn your toe. If you leave it in the bed all night. His tiny parts, with the screen all aglow. He'll find them hard in phospher light. And so I'm offering this good advice To geeks lap dancing in the bed. Pentium chips can get very hot and Roasted Chesnuts Roasted Chesnuts Roasted Chesnuts turn red |
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Subject: RE: BS: Unofficial Song Challenge! From: Genie Date: 25 Nov 02 - 04:12 AM Bronzed Mouse Droppings! Gotta love it, Alex!! LOL! Genie |
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Subject: RE: BS: Unofficial Song Challenge! From: Tinker Date: 25 Nov 02 - 07:54 AM This is one way to get me to transcrbe the songs on this CD... Here's another rewrite that seems appropo after Jack the Sailor's... So glad to see some guys in here I as beginnning to wonder... GET'EM FROM THE PEANUT MAN (HOT NUTS) Selling nuts, hot nuts, Anybody here wanna buy my nuts Selling nuts, Hot nuts I've got nuts for sale They tell me your nuts is mighty fine But I bet you your nuts ain't as hot as mine Chorus: Selling nuts, hot nuts Buy 'em from the peanut man Nuts, hot nuts, Anybody here wanna buy my nuts Selling nuts, Hots nuts I've got nuts for sale Workin' on my laptop and my penis got burnt Nuts got roasted, it's a hard lesson learnt My roasted nuts come in a sack This limited time offer won't be back Look what you can get cheep Only 5 cents Nice and brown too Everybody's crazy bout my nuts Now you see that man all dressed in brown He's got the hottest nuts in town In pursuit of science you can hypothesize But repeat my results and you'll fry, fry, fry |
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Subject: RE: BS: Unofficial Song Challenge! From: mousethief Date: 25 Nov 02 - 09:25 AM Great work, crew! This morning I award the coveted BMD to Jack the Sailor for this very poignant advice: And so I'm offering this good advice To geeks lap dancing in the bed. Pentium chips can get very hot and Roasted Chesnuts Roasted Chesnuts Roasted Chesnuts turn red And yet another coveted BMD to Tinker for, well, yet another funny couplet: In pursuit of science you can hypothesize But repeat my results and you'll fry, fry, fry Keep 'em comin' lads and lassies, I've got plenty of coveted BMD's just dying to be given away. Alex O..O =o= |
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Subject: RE: BS: Unofficial Song Challenge! From: Wolfgang Date: 25 Nov 02 - 09:33 AM unless it heated up so slowly, he didn't feel it... Most probably yes: with a prolonged exposition to a temperature of about 42 degrees Celsius you can get severe burns and not feel anything during the exposition. There's no need (though I see the fun in doing it) to claim absentmindedness or preoccupation with numbing material. Wolfgang |
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Subject: RE: BS: Unofficial Song Challenge! From: katlaughing Date: 25 Nov 02 - 09:40 AM Thanks, Alex! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Unofficial Song Challenge! From: Amos Date: 25 Nov 02 - 09:46 AM The Academic(Tune: The Boxer, Simon&Garfunkel) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Unofficial Song Challenge! From: mousethief Date: 25 Nov 02 - 09:56 AM Sorry, Wolfgang, no awards for pedantry, only lyrics. Kat, you are most welcome! The coveted BMD goes next to Amos for this laugh-out-loud stanza: As my eyes began to s[u]ffer from the acrid burning fumes My attention was distracted by arrivals there from all the other study rooms And then I began to notice I was actually aflame! "I am burning, I am burning!" "The extinguisher, please!" As my polyster Sears slacks melted to my knees! And now I must be off for work but keep it up and I'll award more coveted BMD's when I get home tonight. Alex O..O =o= |
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Subject: RE: BS: Unofficial Song Challenge! From: Wolfgang Date: 25 Nov 02 - 10:08 AM I'm not out for visible awards. Giving information where speculation abounds is an award in itself. Wolfgang |
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Subject: RE: BS: Unofficial Song Challenge! From: Amos Date: 25 Nov 02 - 10:30 AM WOlfgang: You are a man of impeccable virtue!! Danke!! A |
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Subject: RE: BS: Unofficial Song Challenge! From: DonD Date: 25 Nov 02 - 10:24 PM I don't know either the tune or the lyrics except for the title that's been co-opted by some fast food commercial, -- but -- I think 'The Ring of Fire' is just insisting on being coverted to 'My Thing's on Fire'! Someone? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Unofficial Song Challenge! From: Amos Date: 26 Nov 02 - 01:09 AM I yelled out, well I think my thing's on fire! Had to shout, shout shout, while the pain down there grew higher, 'Cuz it burned burned burned -- my thing a-fire My thing a-fire. 'zat what you had in mind, Don? :>) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Unofficial Song Challenge! From: Genie Date: 26 Nov 02 - 09:50 AM That's even better than my initial take on the "Ring Of Fire" song ("Lap of Fire")! LOL! Now, you guys, someone's just GOTTA do "FIRE DOWN BELOW!" ¤;-D |
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Subject: RE: BS: Unofficial Song Challenge! From: mousethief Date: 28 Nov 02 - 12:22 AM Here's a coveted BMD for Amos, for this incendiary verse: I yelled out, well I think my thing's on fire! Had to shout, shout shout, while the pain down there grew higher, 'Cuz it burned burned burned -- my thing a-fire My thing a-fire. Alex |
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Subject: RE: BS: Unofficial Song Challenge! From: mousethief Date: 03 Dec 02 - 02:14 AM Well it looks like it's about time to hand out kudos. The GG's awards all have something to do with Irish beer, but since I don't drink beer (Irish or otherwise, even though I'm 1/4th Farrell), mine don't. I'll look around the liquor cabinet, though, and see what I can come up with.... The Golden Mouse Wheel with Stolichnaya Crest (for making me smile) goes to: Genie for Lap of Fire McGrath of Harlow for Your Heatin' Part Amos for My Thing-A-Fire Tinker for Hot Nuts (Get Em From the Peanut Man) The Golden Mouse Wheel with St. Brendan's Irish Cream Crest (for making me chuckle) goes to: Tinker for Burnt Out Blues Katlaughing for Hey Dude Jack the Sailor for The Chestnut Song And the coveted Golden Mouse Wheel with Glenlivet Crest (for making me guffaw) goes to: Amos for The Academic Great going, mates! (if I missed anybody I'm sorry but it's late at night and I'm printing Christmas newsletters to send to the cousins...) Alex |
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Subject: RE: BS: Unofficial Song Challenge! From: Genie Date: 03 Dec 02 - 03:04 AM Thanks, Alex. But don't put away the Mouse droppings just yet. I still got my best one in the old Genie ;-D |
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Subject: RE: BS: Unofficial Song Challenge! From: Amos Date: 03 Dec 02 - 07:30 PM WOW!! A Glenlivet Crest!! Just right for my needs!! Thanks, Mousethief!! An honor! A |
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Subject: RE: BS: Unofficial Song Challenge! From: mousethief Date: 04 Dec 02 - 12:50 AM Frankly I'd rather have a bottle of the stuff than the crest but just so's you're happy, Amos... Alex |