BS: Sponge Bob dead on Xmas eve

Subject: BS: Sponge Bob dead on Xmas eve
From: Donuel
Date: 24 Dec 05 - 04:09 PM

SpongeBob was happily sitting atop his blower inflated red and green xmas present when some one came up and put a 3 ft gash in his face.
He was found keeled over backwards this morning.

It seems we were not singled out for this violence since a blower inflated: Santa Clause, Reindeer, and Penguin on our street were also slashed to death yesterday.

Subject: RE: BS: Sponge Bob dead on Xmas eve
From: GUEST
Date: 24 Dec 05 - 04:12 PM

I reckon the snowman did it.

Subject: RE: BS: Sponge Bob dead on Xmas eve
From: Peace
Date: 24 Dec 05 - 04:58 PM

Picture of Spongebob here.

Subject: RE: BS: Sponge Bob dead on Xmas eve
From: Azizi
Date: 24 Dec 05 - 05:05 PM

Maybe the Grinch who stole Christmas did these dastardly deeds.

Subject: RE: BS: Sponge Bob dead on Xmas eve
From: gnu
Date: 24 Dec 05 - 05:06 PM

That's Bob? Jaysus! You sure it wasn't suicide?

Subject: RE: BS: Sponge Bob dead on Xmas eve
From: gnu
Date: 24 Dec 05 - 05:07 PM

I am sorry. That was callous. Of course, it's not looks... it's what is on the inside. Maybe, his sponge was dry.

Subject: RE: BS: Sponge Bob dead on Xmas eve
From: gnu
Date: 24 Dec 05 - 05:13 PM

In any case, I suppose the clean up was a snap.

Subject: RE: BS: Sponge Bob dead on Xmas eve
From: Joe Offer
Date: 24 Dec 05 - 08:47 PM

He may be dead, but doesn't he have a wonderful smile?

Subject: RE: BS: Sponge Bob dead on Xmas eve
From: Don Firth
Date: 24 Dec 05 - 08:50 PM

I hope that this is just some kind of sick joke! SpongeBob SquarePants is my hero and role model!!

Don Firth

Subject: RE: BS: Ex-Sponged Bob dead on Xmas eve
From: Severn
Date: 24 Dec 05 - 09:16 PM

I think the culprit was that other sponge child actor, Absorbine Jr, who lost out to him in landing the TV show and whose now increasingly marginal career has ever since has been relegated to being out on the porifera of the industry, doing bathing scenes in porno movies and a recent cameo as a contraceptive device in a medical training film. Meanwhile he has been reduced to crashing at various friends' apartments and borrowing undisclosed sums of money from them and soaking up liquor like a.....well...er...never mind.

Subject: RE: BS: Sponge Bob dead on Xmas eve
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 26 Dec 05 - 11:40 AM

So perhaps someone should make a special line of blower-inflated lawn decorations just for rough neighborhoods. Make 'em out of Kevlar.

Subject: RE: BS: Sponge Bob dead on Xmas eve
From: Amos
Date: 26 Dec 05 - 12:34 PM

Maybe someone wanted a little more reality in their midwinter celebration, ya think????


A

Subject: RE: BS: Sponge Bob dead on Xmas eve
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 26 Dec 05 - 01:18 PM

By the way, during my more-or-less annual trip to Jacksonville to visit family at Christmas, I saw a house in my daughter's neighborhood whose relatively small yard had one each of probably every blower-inflated lawn decoration on the market. Must have been fifty of 'em jammed into that yard like smoked oysters in a can. My daughter said that the neighborhood rumor is that the owner won some lottery money but has no desire to move to a bigger house or drive fancy car, so he spends the money on junk. Lots of junk.

Subject: RE: BS: Sponge Bob dead on Xmas eve
From: GUEST,Mr Masculinity
Date: 26 Dec 05 - 01:49 PM

NO ONE expects the Spanish Inquisition!!!

They did it, of course. Who else?

Subject: RE: BS: Sponge Bob dead on Xmas eve
From: Azizi
Date: 26 Dec 05 - 02:45 PM

Maybe Barney the purple dinasour was jealous that Sponge Bob is more popular than he {it?} is.

I'm just sayin...

Subject: RE: BS: Sponge Bob dead on Xmas eve
From: GUEST,Barney the Dinosaur
Date: 26 Dec 05 - 06:18 PM

Damn! (oops...)

Why...that's preposterous! I'm so nice. I'd never do anything like that. Never. I am totally and completely innocent of those scurrilous allegations. I was at home in my hot tub the whole time, thinking of more nice things I can do for children to brighten up their little lives.

I could understand someone suspecting a weird, unlikely, grotesque (and probably sociopathic) aberration like Sponge Bob committing such heinous acts...but mois? Never!

Subject: RE: BS: Sponge Bob dead on Xmas eve
From: Azizi
Date: 26 Dec 05 - 07:56 PM

I'm sorry Barney. You are awfully nice {maybe too nice?}
No.There's no such thing as being too nice, isn't that right?

Besides, you probably didn't have enough time to attack SpongeBob since you had to be on the look out for GI Joe. Come to think of it, I heard GI Joe had offed you. I'm sure glad to know that's not true.

What?? You say you don't have the faintest idea what I'm talkin about?! Well, I'm sorry to say, Barney ole dinosaur, but you're not the best loved character on the block. Check these out:

Anti-Barney Humor

Subject: RE: BS: Sponge Bob dead on Xmas eve
From: GUEST,Barney the Dinosaur
Date: 26 Dec 05 - 11:08 PM

Watch it, Azizi. I have feelings too, you know, and I have a big organization out there. We will find out where you live and have a little talk with you quite soon. We have ways of making you be a whole lot nicer!

Subject: RE: BS: Sponge Bob dead on Xmas eve
From: GUEST,Barney the Dinosaur
Date: 26 Dec 05 - 11:32 PM

Say, the kids here have been singing a cute little Christmas song they made up:

Sponge Bob dead on Xmas Eve
Doo-Dah! Doo-Dah!
Sponge Bob dead on Xmas Eve
Oh, Doo-Dah-Day!
Gwine to die all night
Gwine to die all day
Sponge Bob dead on Xmas Eve
And all the livelong day!

Isn't that sweet? Children are so great at having innocent fun, and that's why I like them so much and get along great with all of them.

Subject: RE: BS: Sponge Bob dead on Xmas eve
From: Peace
Date: 26 Dec 05 - 11:34 PM

What the hell do 'gwine' mean?

Subject: RE: BS: Sponge Bob dead on Xmas eve
From: GUEST,Rastus
Date: 26 Dec 05 - 11:38 PM

It means "going". Old time Uncle Remus lingo. Read the old Br'er Rabbit tales for an update on that. It was a very different time. One thing you have to say, it's a friendlier sounding lingo than the ugly rap stuff you hear nowadays.

Subject: RE: BS: Sponge Bob dead on Xmas eve
From: Peace
Date: 27 Dec 05 - 12:01 AM

I think the line was from Lenny Bruce: "I'm gwine to heaven; gwine to find out what gwine mean."

Subject: RE: BS: Sponge Bob dead on Xmas eve
From: Azizi
Date: 27 Dec 05 - 06:55 AM

To Barney and his organization:

To paraphrase another kid's song:

Who's afraid of the big bad dinosaur
the big bad dinosaur
the big bad dinosaur
who's afraid of the big bad dinosaur
No not me!

[Hey Barney! Na Na Na Na Na!! Me and GI Joe gonna whoop your a---.
Oh, I'm too nice to say that word-but you know what I mean!]

Subject: RE: BS: Sponge Bob dead on Xmas eve
From: GUEST,leeneia
Date: 27 Dec 05 - 10:43 AM

It's too bad, Donuel. You do something playful for Christmas, something to make the little kids smile, and along comes some drunk and vandalizes it. I symphathize.

Everything funny is in some fashion inappropriate. That doesn't mean that everything inappropriate is funny.

Subject: RE: BS: Sponge Bob dead on Xmas eve
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 Dec 05 - 02:45 PM

The problem with the drunk in question, leeneia, is...he's not happy, and he suspects that someone else might be. That makes him angry, so he wrecks something that belongs to someone else. This is why in a lot of breakins the guys who do it wreck everything in the place. They can't stand the thought that someone else might be enjoying life more than they are or might have something they don't.

Sad.

Meanwhile, we will see if Barney makes good on his threat to make Azizi "nicer". Tense times, these are. ;-)

Subject: RE: BS: Sponge Bob dead on Xmas eve
From: kendall
Date: 28 Dec 05 - 10:33 AM

Looks like the work of Mac the knife to me.

Subject: RE: BS: Sponge Bob dead on Xmas eve
From: kendall
Date: 28 Dec 05 - 12:00 PM

Looks like the work of Mac the knife to me.

Subject: RE: BS: Sponge Bob dead on Xmas eve
From: GUEST,Josh
Date: 28 Dec 05 - 12:13 PM

Wow, Barney, thats now even a cool song :D

Subject: RE: BS: Sponge Bob dead on Xmas eve
From: Kim C
Date: 28 Dec 05 - 12:47 PM

Apparently there were a few similar incidents in the Nashville area. Wonder if they're related. . .

Subject: RE: BS: Sponge Bob dead on Xmas eve
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 Dec 05 - 01:31 PM

Barney is responsible. No doubt about it. That national organization he speaks of is a very creepy thing. Probably has chapters in every community across the nation. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

Subject: RE: BS: Sponge Bob dead on Xmas eve
From: Don Firth
Date: 28 Dec 05 - 02:08 PM

Well . . . I dunno, now. The Tellytubbies are a whole lot sneakier than you might suspect.

Don Firth

Subject: RE: BS: Sponge Bob dead on Xmas eve
From: gnu
Date: 28 Dec 05 - 02:22 PM

Especially the gay one.

Subject: RE: BS: Sponge Bob dead on Xmas eve
From: Azizi
Date: 28 Dec 05 - 02:25 PM

I'm just poppin in to say that Barney talks tough but I think it's all an act. To prove my point, I haven't seen or heard nothin from Barney or his so called organization since he threatened me the other day.

But I want it on record that I was threatened. Just in case I gotta go to court or anything, but I don't think it will come to that. Talk is cheap. And Barney is a two bit joke.

I'm just sayin...

Subject: RE: BS: Sponge Bob dead on Xmas eve
From: Azizi
Date: 28 Dec 05 - 02:31 PM

And as for the Tellytubbies or anybody else, gayness has nothing what so ever to do with sneakiness.

I know alot of sneaky characters, and one of them's name's starts with a "B" and ends with a "y".

You know who I mean, not that I'm instigatin or anything.

I'm just sayin..

Subject: RE: BS: Sponge Bob dead on Xmas eve
From: gnu
Date: 28 Dec 05 - 02:41 PM

Barnaby Jones?

The gay comment was tongue in cheek, of course.

Subject: RE: BS: Sponge Bob dead on Xmas eve
From: Donuel
Date: 28 Dec 05 - 07:02 PM

Square Bob Spongepants can be repaired with needle and thread just like the ripped my pants episode.
For the $30 I spent on Bob I got $60 worth of humor from this thread.
Thanks for the laughs, for the sense of community even for a guy who can't sing much better than an American idol reject.
Thanks for the insight, wisdom, best guesses and wit (be it explosive Spaw or rapier wit) that restores my soul, much the same as the scriptures might nourish a true believer.

the boys just called me to dinner, life is good