 sj |
||
|
||
BS: Joke thread for 2025
|
|
|
Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2025 From: gillymor Date: 28 May 25 - 11:21 AM The Unknown Rodent by A. Nonny Mouse |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2025 From: gillymor Date: 28 May 25 - 11:38 AM V.D.: Nothing to Clap About by I.P. Screaming |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2025 From: Fred Date: 28 May 25 - 12:05 PM The Death Penalty by X E Cautioner French Cooking by Sue Flat Artificial Clothing by Polly Ester |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2025 From: Fred Date: 28 May 25 - 12:12 PM Flay not Flat. It's Gilly's fault - got me in a flap :-D |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2025 From: gillymor Date: 28 May 25 - 12:27 PM What the F by Fred Flap |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2025 From: Georgiansilver Date: 28 May 25 - 01:13 PM Falling from trees by R. Stornaway. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2025 From: Fred Date: 28 May 25 - 01:58 PM You guys will have to manage without me for a while. I know it's hard but you'll have to try lol. Going up to Aberdeenshire for a couple of weeks - the wife, our two daughters, the dog and me. Stay safe, hope you have good weather, see ya when we get back. All the best Fred |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2025 From: Dave the Gnome Date: 28 May 25 - 02:10 PM I'm selling my John Lennon vinyl collection on Ebay Imagine all the PayPal... |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2025 From: gillymor Date: 29 May 25 - 06:33 AM Snitches get Stitches by Ima Ratt. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2025 From: gillymor Date: 29 May 25 - 09:54 AM A Field Guide to UFOs by I.M. Nutz |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2025 From: Fred Date: 29 May 25 - 12:29 PM Just a quick one from my holiday chateau ;-) Smart Beer Making by Bud Wiser |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2025 From: Mr Red Date: 30 May 25 - 02:56 AM I seem to be coming up with real people - How about the Democrat's envoy to the Middle East? Anthony Blinken. He used to be in a rock group and traded as.......... (refer back to politics) A Blinken I bet he was nervous playing at theatres! |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2025 From: Fred Date: 30 May 25 - 04:02 AM School Sports by Jim Nasium Not too Hot Not Too Cold by Lou Quarm The Apiarist by Bea Hives Pancakes by Mabel Sirrup |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2025 From: Fred Date: 30 May 25 - 04:12 AM And last from me: Leaflet Design by Pam Flett |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2025 From: Raggytash Date: 30 May 25 - 07:08 AM Pamphlet Design by Leif Lett even! |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2025 From: Fred Date: 30 May 25 - 08:28 AM An History Of Rabbits by Bunny Warren |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2025 From: Fred Date: 30 May 25 - 08:39 AM Suspended by Dan Glynn Right, that's me, I've got to get on. Later Fred |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2025 From: Fred Date: 30 May 25 - 03:05 PM It Wasn't Me by Ivan Alibi |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2025 From: Fred Date: 31 May 25 - 03:19 PM Archaeology by Roxanne Minerals Living On A Budget by Penny Pincher |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2025 From: Fred Date: 31 May 25 - 03:25 PM Sorry Geology by Roxanne Minerals Too much wine lol Fred |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2025 From: MudGuard Date: 31 May 25 - 04:33 PM Alternative fuels, by Vin Diesel |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2025 From: Mr Red Date: 04 Jun 25 - 02:37 PM Einstein developed his theory about space and it was about time too. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2025 From: Dave the Gnome Date: 06 Jun 25 - 02:34 AM He would have made a good Doctor Who :-) I just saw an advert for a pen that can write underwater. Dunno if it can write other words... |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2025 From: Fred Date: 06 Jun 25 - 04:26 AM Thirst Quenchers by Bev Arage Lumberjack by Tim Burr |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2025 From: Fred Date: 08 Jun 25 - 04:06 AM Broken Window by Eva Brick Chinese Arsonist by Kin Dling |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2025 From: Roger the Skiffler Date: 13 Jun 25 - 11:46 AM This made me smile today: Archaeologists have discovered a mummy's tomb. The mummy was covered in nuts and chocolate. The believe it is the tomb of Pharaoh Rocher. RtS |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2025 From: Fred Date: 13 Jun 25 - 12:09 PM The Joys Of Motoring by Ivor Crankshaft |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2025 From: Fred Date: 13 Jun 25 - 12:25 PM American Independence by Bertha Vanation |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2025 From: Donuel Date: 13 Jun 25 - 08:29 PM Dreadful Titles by Fred Bled What do you call a writer who doesn't follow the rules of sentence structure? A rebel without a clause. What has twenty-seven actors, three settings, two writers, and one plot? Six hundred and seventy-one Hallmark movies. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2025 From: Dave the Gnome Date: 14 Jun 25 - 06:21 AM A woman had had some blood tests at her local doctors' surgery. She was unable to collect the results herself so she asked her husband to call in and pick them up for her. When he told the receptionist his wife's name, the receptionist hesitated and said "Er, just wait a minute, sir, while I call the doctor to see you..." So the doc came in and said to the bloke, "I'm really sorry Mr Smith, but when your wife came in there was another Mrs Smith in at the same time giving samples, and we've got their results mixed up..." "Well can't you just do the tests again?" "Well, the tests are very expensive and your medical insurance wouldn't finance a repeat..." "Well why not just give me the results of both women and maybe we can work it out.." "Hmmm, Well OK, but I need to tell you that one woman's tests showed that she has dementia and the other showed gonorrhoea..." "Blimey doc, so what would you advise?" "Well, if it were my wife, I'd drop her off in town for a shopping trip. If she made it home I wouldn't have sex with her..." |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2025 From: Fred Date: 14 Jun 25 - 10:51 AM Voice Amplification by Mike Raphone Coffee Maker by Phil Turr Dog's Dinner by Nora Bone |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2025 From: Rain Dog Date: 14 Jun 25 - 03:25 PM Something I remember from approx. 50 to 55 years ago. You probably have to be from the same generation as myself to recognise the pun. What do you call someone who looks down rabbit holes? A burrow surveyor. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2025 From: Georgiansilver Date: 14 Jun 25 - 05:46 PM Not sure ourAmerican friends will understand this one..who knows? You can't even go to the seaside now without witnessing violence and outrageous behaviour. There was a man and a woman on the beach arguing in front of a group of children. She actually hit him in the face and they both ended up hitting each other. A policeman arrived to sort the problem and had to use his nightstick to hit the man. However, the man wrestled the nightstick of the policeman and started beating him with it......... then a crocodile appeared and ran off with some sausages!!!! |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2025 From: Dave the Gnome Date: 15 Jun 25 - 11:41 AM That's the way to do it... :-) Use truncheon instead of nightstick though if you want it to be proper British! |
|
Subject: Religious Joke thread for 2025 From: Mr Red Date: 25 Jun 25 - 04:55 PM A Preacher was ‘sounding off’ from the pulpit. “Nobody is perfect”, he said. “Hands up anyone here who thinks they are perfect”. There was no response from the congregation, so he tried again: “Hands up anyone here who is perfect “. A little man towards the back slowly raised his hand…… “Are you telling me you’re perfect?” asked the preacher, “No” said the man “I’m speaking on behalf of my wife’s first husband”. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2025 From: Dave the Gnome Date: 27 Jun 25 - 03:44 AM I saw a man going uphill with a trolley full of four leaf clovers, horseshoes and rabbits' feet. I thought: "He's pushing his luck..." Talking of pushing his luck... How about thought for today. Try to post jokes :-D |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2025 From: Fred Date: 27 Jun 25 - 09:57 AM As a wheel fell off a bus, the driver stopped, got out and burst into song..... "You picked a fine time to leave me, loose wheel!" |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2025 From: Fred Date: 27 Jun 25 - 10:42 AM Contempt For Human Nature by Miss Ann Thropy Amphibians by Newt and Sally Mander |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2025 From: Fred Date: 27 Jun 25 - 10:53 AM Wills by Benny Fishery |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2025 From: gillymor Date: 27 Jun 25 - 11:52 AM Inevitability by Fred Soh (you inspired that one, Fred) |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2025 From: Dave the Gnome Date: 27 Jun 25 - 12:02 PM Russian snooker by Inoff the Red Russian castration by Ivor Bollokov |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2025 From: Fred Date: 27 Jun 25 - 01:20 PM Glad to be of some use, Gilly. Lol |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2025 From: Black belt caterpillar wrestler Date: 27 Jun 25 - 03:35 PM "Skin diseases" by Ivan Elevanitch. Robin |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2025 From: Donuel Date: 27 Jun 25 - 05:00 PM Cave fsh have no eyes. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2025 From: Dave the Gnome Date: 28 Jun 25 - 01:47 PM Credit where it is due. I liked the fsh one, Don. New slant on an old joke :-) Talking of old, I went to the doctors this morning to ask him to lower my sex drive. He said, "come off it. At 72 it's all in your mind." I said, "yes, that's why I want it lowering" :-D |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2025 From: Fred Date: 28 Jun 25 - 03:27 PM An 80-year-old man goes to his GP "Doctor, I'm not getting any fun out of sex anymore". "Not getting any fun out of sex anymore and you're eighty and your wife's seventy-nine?! When did you first notice this?!" "Twice last night then again this morning". |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2025 From: MaJoC the Filk Date: 29 Jun 25 - 05:48 AM From the front-matter page of How it works: THE CAT:
|
|
Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2025 From: gillymor Date: 29 Jun 25 - 07:02 AM So this flasher was going to retire but he decided to stick it out for one more year. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2025 From: gillymor Date: 29 Jun 25 - 07:15 AM In case no one's heard this one- A guy walks into his shrink's office wearing nothing but a piece of plastic wrap around his waist. The doctor says, "I can clearly see you're nuts." |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2025 From: gillymor Date: 29 Jun 25 - 07:17 AM Here's a chance to bag a 300, Dave. Whoops |
