BS: The Worst Christmas Film Ever

Subject: BS: The Worst Christmas Film Ever
From: GUEST,Viz Reader
Date: 13 Dec 05 - 10:06 AM

It must be the 'Muppets' Christmas Carol' with a mixture of Dickens's mawkish tale, those irritating, squaking Muppets plus Michael Caine's ham acting. What's worse?
Viz Reader

Subject: RE: BS: The Worst Christmas Film Ever
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 13 Dec 05 - 10:14 AM

Another stupid guest troll.

Or perhaps Little Hawk in another manifestation, shooting down sacred [muppet] cows to see who salutes.

Everyone knows that the Jim Carrey "Grinch" movie is the stupidist movie out there. Hands down.

Subject: RE: BS: The Worst Christmas Film Ever
From: InOBU
Date: 13 Dec 05 - 10:15 AM

Scrooged.

bloody awful.

Subject: RE: BS: The Worst Christmas Film Ever
From: Strollin' Johnny
Date: 13 Dec 05 - 10:23 AM

They're all crap, every last sickly, schmaltzy, sentimental, badly-acted crummy one.
Bah Humbug - The True Path!
S:0)

Subject: RE: BS: The Worst Christmas Film Ever
From: Paco Rabanne
Date: 13 Dec 05 - 10:29 AM

The Exorcist.

Subject: RE: BS: The Worst Christmas Film Ever
From: Strollin' Johnny
Date: 13 Dec 05 - 10:48 AM

LOL!

Subject: RE: BS: The Worst Christmas Film Ever
From: Clinton Hammond
Date: 13 Dec 05 - 11:00 AM

I LOVE the Muppet X-mas Carol...

And Scrooged....

Jim Carry's Grinch I could do without, but it's easily ignored....

The Ref with Dennis Leary is great too!

Subject: RE: BS: The Worst Christmas Film Ever
From: Chris Green
Date: 13 Dec 05 - 11:56 AM

Santa Claus The Movie. Yuk!

Subject: RE: BS: The Worst Christmas Film Ever
From: curmudgeon
Date: 13 Dec 05 - 12:06 PM

Santa Claus Conquers the Martians, worse than Plan 9 - Tom

Subject: RE: BS: The Worst Christmas Film Ever
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Dec 05 - 12:09 PM

Santa Clause vs. The Martians (or whatever the title like that was).

Subject: RE: BS: The Worst Christmas Film Ever
From: Little Hawk
Date: 13 Dec 05 - 12:24 PM

God knows which one I would pick. There are so many bloody awful Christmas movies. I do like the one with the kid who wants the BB gun, and I enjoyed the Schwarzenneger one, whatever it was called.

I vaugely recall the Muppet one...I guess it would fall somewhere in the middle category. Not downright awful, not all that good either. I always enjoy Kermit, though.

I only vaugely recall the Jim Carrey one too. It must not have made much of an impression. Either that or my memory is going...

Subject: RE: BS: The Worst Christmas Film Ever
From: Little Hawk
Date: 13 Dec 05 - 12:31 PM

"Vaguely", that is. Seems like my spelling is going too.

Subject: RE: BS: The Worst Christmas Film Ever
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 13 Dec 05 - 12:45 PM

Bad Santa, without a doubt. If you get a kick out of Billy Bob Thornton acting like a drunken, horny, thieving department store Santa spouting lines like "Jesus Christ Kid! Fuck's wrong with you? You act like a fuckin' retard!" then maybe you loved it. Stupid and mean-spirited, and aimed at an audience of 13 year olds and their mental equivalents.

Subject: RE: BS: The Worst Christmas Film Ever
From: GUEST
Date: 13 Dec 05 - 12:45 PM

I love the bizarreness of Muppet Xmas Carol too. I'm a big Bill Murray fan, but didn't think much of Scrooged. I wouldn't cross the street to see Jim Carey in anything, I think the guy is talentless and obnoxious, and certainly no Robin Williams when it comes to stream of consciousness stuff. But there are MUCH worse versions of the Dickens classic than those two...the one with Whoppi Goldberg comes to mind, for instance.

For truly awful Xmas fare, I'd definitely nominate "Miracle on 34th St" and "The Bells of St Marys" and pretty much every single "Walton's Christmas" sort of TV show sort of crap.

My favorite Xmas films continue to be: Tim Burton's "Nightmare Before Xmas"; Bob Clark's "A Christmas Story"; "Muppet Xmas Carol", and the Bloom County "A Wish for Wings that Work".

I'm not a fan of "It's a Wonderful Life" though I think Jimmy Stewart was good enough in the film. Though it wasn't exactly his best work, it is still to recommended as an historical artifact, because J. Edgar Hoover condemned it as "subversive".

In the "oldies" canon of Xmas fare, I much prefer Judy Garland in "Meet Me in St. Louis". My favorite Xmas song (and I only have a few I even like!) comes from that film--Judy singing "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas". Just the right combo of bittersweet to that holiday song.

I also enjoy watching "The Bishop's Wife" every now and then, just to see Cary Grant and David Niven in the same movie.

On my worst list:

Aforementioned Grinch w/Jim Carey; Charlie Brown Xmas; Home Alone; Christmas with the Kranks...

More recently, I enjoyed "Love Actually". I thought "Bad Santa" was a disappointment, but I'll likely get this year's "Ice Harvest" from Netflix eventually. I'm not a Billy Bob fan, but I like John Cusack.

Subject: RE: BS: The Worst Christmas Film Ever
From: GUEST
Date: 13 Dec 05 - 12:53 PM

Also, the bizarre TV show "Frosty the Snowman" entertained me when I was stoned in my misspent youth.

Subject: RE: BS: The Worst Christmas Film Ever
From: Little Hawk
Date: 13 Dec 05 - 01:05 PM

Wouldn't it just be great if they brought together ALL the key players from "Scrooged", "Bad Santa", "The Grinch", "Christmas With the Kranks", etc...and put them in ONE stupendous Christmas movie blockbuster that was three hours long? They could put Jessica Simpson, Britney Spears, and Pamela Anderson in it too, as Santa's Elves.

Call it "A Hollywood Christmas". I think a script could be written for this in about 1 week, no problem. Put Danny De Vito in it too, as a nasty, greedly little toy store owner who cheats his customers and hates kids. Magic, eh?

Maybe get Ben Affleck in it too. And Jen, of course. And Bradd Pitt and Angelina. And the other Jen. Why not? Some possibilities here.

Maybe get cameo appearances by George Bush and Dick Cheney (who could play a department store security officer and Santa Claus, respectively).

Subject: RE: BS: The Worst Christmas Film Ever
From: Coyote Breath
Date: 13 Dec 05 - 01:06 PM

They are all weak in some way.

INHO the best Christmas story is:


"The Life of Brian" which is more of an Easter story, I know.

I try to rent "The Life" and "Scrooged" and "Christmas Story" right around this time each year. I invite my friends over for egg nog and snacks.

My list of friends keeps getting smaller.

I think it will be just me and my stuffed coyote, "Sparky" this year.

The quantity of egg nog, however, remains the same.

Mary Chrispness to all!!

CB

Subject: RE: BS: The Worst Christmas Film Ever
From: GUEST
Date: 13 Dec 05 - 01:19 PM

CB, maybe you should try showing "The Bishop's Wife" and serving apple martinis. You might make some new friends.

Subject: RE: BS: The Worst Christmas Film Ever
From: robomatic
Date: 13 Dec 05 - 01:47 PM

The Home Alone Series was ghastly and unfunny.

That one where Michael Keaton played a father reincarnated as a snowman was also awful.

Subject: RE: BS: The Worst Christmas Film Ever
From: Alba
Date: 13 Dec 05 - 02:05 PM

My 1st pick would have to be
The day they gave Babies away! a 1955 B Movie.
Oh my...it is just so.......words fail me...
Running a close second comes the dreadful Surviving Christmas with Ben Affleck.
and third, I agree with robomatic, the one with Michael Keaton reincarnated as a snowman....bloody hell...

Subject: RE: BS: The Worst Christmas Film Ever
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Dec 05 - 02:32 PM

Don't forget the TV show with the elf who wanted to be a dentist....

Subject: RE: BS: The Worst Christmas Film Ever
From: Clinton Hammond
Date: 13 Dec 05 - 02:36 PM

"the one with Michael Keaton reincarnated as a snowman...."

Jack Frost....

It was originally done as a B-horror that is abso-fkn-lootly hillarious!!!

http://imdb.com/title/tt0116671/

Subject: RE: BS: The Worst Christmas Film Ever
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 13 Dec 05 - 02:46 PM

"Santa Claus Conquers the Martians" is also infamous for providing the remarkably untalented Pia Zadora with her first movie role.

No, she didn't play Santa Claus. She played a little girl, which was pretty astute casting considering that she was a little girl at the time.

Subject: RE: BS: The Worst Christmas Film Ever
From: CapriUni
Date: 13 Dec 05 - 03:04 PM

I know this is off-topic for this thread, but my favorite movie to watch at Christmastime (even if there is not a single mention of Christmas in the whole tale), is the Danish movie Babette's Feast.

Of the TV specials fare, I have to agree with the Guest who dislikes "Frosty the Snowman." Even considering the animation technology available at the time it was made, it comes off looking cheap and badly done.

My favorite TV special this time of year is the original animated "Grinch", directed by Chuck Jones.

Last year, I sat down at my computer and found an etext of Dicken's Christmas Carol. I enjoyed it much more than any of the various film versions out there. I half-wished there was a daring film maker out there who would retell it in the spirit of social and political protest that Dickens originally wrote it, and who would use modern effects technology to make the spirits appear as Dickens described them.

But mostly, I admit, I like wallowing in smaltz this time of year.

Subject: RE: BS: The Worst Christmas Film Ever
From: Little Hawk
Date: 13 Dec 05 - 03:07 PM

I miss almost all of it by not watching TV and not listening to the radio. If it wasn't for the Net, I'd forget about it entirely.

Subject: RE: BS: The Worst Christmas Film Ever
From: GUEST
Date: 13 Dec 05 - 03:10 PM

"But mostly, I admit, I like wallowing in smaltz this time of year."

Then you should definitely rent "Meet Me in St. Louis"!

The even more bizarre thing about "Frosty the Snowman" is, even though it is SO horribly bad, it continues to run year after year after year! Looks like it was made by the guy who invented crack, eh?

Subject: RE: BS: The Worst Christmas Film Ever
From: Little Hawk
Date: 13 Dec 05 - 03:21 PM

That is typical of the entertainment media. They just keep doing what they did the last time. Over and over again. They would only stop if everybody stopped watching or if a giant asteroid hit the Earth and destroyed our entire civilization.

Subject: RE: BS: The Worst Christmas Film Ever
From: Pseudolus
Date: 13 Dec 05 - 03:36 PM

How could anyone NOT love Frosty the Snowman?!?!?!?!? The mouths are not synched up with the dialog and the animation sucks but Jimmy Durante makes it all worthwhile! OK, I guess I agree with CapriUni on the Shmaltz thing. I admit, I listen to the all Christmas, All the time radio stations and I will be watching Rudolph, the Grinch, Frosty and all the rest very soon. And then, "White Christmas"!

Oh wait, this thread was about the worst Christmas Film....hmmmm, I really didn't like the Jim Carrey Grinch thing although I usually do like Jim Carrey.

Merry Christmas!
Frank

Subject: RE: BS: The Worst Christmas Film Ever
From: robomatic
Date: 13 Dec 05 - 06:09 PM

CapriUni wrote:

Last year, I sat down at my computer and found an etext of Dicken's Christmas Carol. I enjoyed it much more than any of the various film versions out there. I half-wished there was a daring film maker out there who would retell it in the spirit of social and political protest that Dickens originally wrote it, and who would use modern effects technology to make the spirits appear as Dickens described them.

oddly enough, there was a Rod Serling take on Christmas Carol updated to the Nuclear Future, aired in the 60's. Saw it once as a young kid and it scared the bejesus outta me. I've looked into it and though it is memorable, it is unobtainable.

Subject: RE: BS: The Worst Christmas Film Ever
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 13 Dec 05 - 06:16 PM

I love some of the old Looney Tune and Warner Brothers holiday cartoons that were made 50 years ago or more. Some are sweet, some are quite grim, some are very funny.

Somewhere around here I have a tape of a christmas special from the 1980s with the California Raisins and George Plimpton and a hodge-podge of characters. Very funny and/or sweet vignettes.

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: The Worst Christmas Film Ever
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 13 Dec 05 - 06:49 PM

"Jingle All the Way" was pretty bad. It starred Arnold Schwarzenegger. I only went to see it because it was filmed in the Twin Cities and I wanted to see how many sites I would recognize. It wasn't worth the trouble. It was way worse than "Bad Santa" which I sort of enjoyed.

Subject: RE: BS: The Worst Christmas Film Ever
From: Peter T.
Date: 13 Dec 05 - 09:54 PM

"Love Actually" is the new worst. Britain suddenly turns into America for the holidays.

yours,

Peter T.

Subject: RE: BS: The Worst Christmas Film Ever
From: CapriUni
Date: 13 Dec 05 - 11:26 PM

...there was a Rod Serling take on Christmas Carol updated to the Nuclear Future, aired in the 60's...

Ooh! Well, keep your hopes up. Every year, more new restorations of old classics are getting put on DVD -- especially "cult" favorites that wouldn't don't have a wide audience, otherwise.

Speaking of retellings, every year on Christmas afternoon, my local public radio station broadcasts an audio of Jacob Marley's Christmas Carol by Tom Mula, which retells the story from the ghost's point of view. That's fun.

Subject: RE: BS: The Worst Christmas Film Ever
From: CapriUni
Date: 14 Dec 05 - 12:47 PM

I don't know how that happened. The link to "Jacob Marley's Christmas Carol" is here: http://www.tommula.com/JMtape.html.

Subject: RE: BS: The Worst Christmas Film Ever
From: GUEST,Ahnold
Date: 14 Dec 05 - 12:59 PM

You are welcome to your opinion, Jim Dixon. Your stupid opinion.   Just remember this: I'll be back.

Subject: RE: BS: The Worst Christmas Film Ever
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 14 Dec 05 - 03:35 PM

Jack Frost.... {{{{{{shudder!!!}}}}}} Ghastly film..

Back in 1975 I was given the topic 'Christmas 2000' to write an essay on. Bear in mind that we were 10/11 and 25 years seemed a lifetime.

I wrote that we would still be watching 'The Wizard of Oz' and eating pre-packed frozen ready meals.... Little did I dream that it would all be true!!

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: The Worst Christmas Film Ever
From: Cluin
Date: 14 Dec 05 - 04:32 PM

The only filmed version of Dickens' Christmas Carol I can stomach is the musical one with Albert Finney.

Oh, and the Blackadder one.

Subject: RE: BS: The Worst Christmas Film Ever
From: Joybell
Date: 14 Dec 05 - 04:44 PM

We show a Pia Zadora double feature for Christmas. "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians" and "Voyage of the Rock Aliens" We love Pia Zadora. Hooray for Santy Claus...
Cheeers, Joy

Subject: RE: BS: The Worst Christmas Film Ever
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 14 Dec 05 - 07:21 PM

The only filmed version of Dickens' Christmas Carol I can stomach is the musical one with Albert Finney.

You can't ever have seen the 1951 version with Alistair Sims, !"Scrooge".

Worst? I generally seem to be able to wipe films I don't like from my memory. I think any version of the Christmas Carol set in modern times would probably qualify. I'm sure I've seen a few, at least part of the way through, but the memory has mercifully deliquesced.

Subject: RE: BS: The Worst Christmas Film Ever
From: Cluin
Date: 14 Dec 05 - 08:47 PM

Seen it a few times, McGrath. Prefer the book.

But I love the songs from the Finney one.

Subject: RE: BS: The Worst Christmas Film Ever
From: Donuel
Date: 14 Dec 05 - 08:50 PM

Shwartzenegger + a Christmas film = sickening drivel.

Subject: RE: BS: The Worst Christmas Film Ever
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 14 Dec 05 - 11:49 PM

Revisit a few of your favorite moments from A Christmas Story.

Subject: RE: BS: The Worst Christmas Film Ever
From: Peace
Date: 15 Dec 05 - 11:16 PM

"Texas Chainsaw Massacre" has got to be the worst. It was nothing but blood and gore for the whole movie.

Subject: RE: BS: The Worst Christmas Film Ever
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 15 Dec 05 - 11:42 PM

Bruce, I haven't seen that one. Is it a holiday movie?

Subject: RE: BS: The Worst Christmas Film Ever
From: The Walrus
Date: 16 Dec 05 - 05:42 AM

The film that most affected me about Christmas wasn't a Christmas film as such, but, thanks to "The Victors", I can't hear "Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas" without mentally flipping back to that film and the execution scenes (and for the life of me,I don'tknow why). So for its effect on me, I'd nominate that.

Walrus

Subject: RE: BS: The Worst Christmas Film Ever
From: GUEST
Date: 16 Dec 05 - 09:21 AM

fox news

Subject: RE: BS: The Worst Christmas Film Ever
From: Peace
Date: 16 Dec 05 - 07:03 PM

"Texas Chainsaw Massacre"

No. It shouldn't even BE a movie. I watched it near Christmas one year. Some guy running around with a chainsaw cutting people up. Awful.

I notice--on second look--that this thread pertains to movies made to cause 'feelings' and togetherness in the Yule season--not movies we watched in the Yule season. Pardon me one and all.

Subject: RE: BS: The Worst Christmas Film Ever
From: robomatic
Date: 16 Dec 05 - 07:52 PM

For you 'fans' of Frosty the Snowman, it's been remastered! Also the 'return' of Frosty.

Meanwhile, a rather different and more recent video that my nieces really liked was: "Olive The Other Reindeer".

Subject: RE: BS: The Worst Christmas Film Ever
From: Peace
Date: 16 Dec 05 - 08:45 PM

Here's Olive!