Subject: BS: God Hates Straights... From: Bobert Date: 08 Jan 07 - 05:38 PM Yeah, ever since that Garden of Eden thing God has been questioning Himself... Whaddayathink??? |
Subject: RE: BS: God Hates Straights... From: gnu Date: 08 Jan 07 - 05:40 PM It all started with a fruit. |
Subject: RE: BS: God Hates Straights... From: Peace Date: 08 Jan 07 - 05:42 PM Whew. Thought this was gonna be about Knopfler and the boys. Things looked dire there for a sec. |
Subject: RE: BS: God Hates Straights... From: Cluin Date: 08 Jan 07 - 05:43 PM He put it in the Garden, said "It's Knowledge" then said don't touch it. Then he put the Serpent there to undermine His command. No wonder we're so fucked up. |
Subject: RE: BS: God Hates Straights... From: Geoff the Duck Date: 08 Jan 07 - 05:43 PM That's why the world is round not flat. Quack! GtD. |
Subject: RE: BS: God Hates Straights... From: Paul from Hull Date: 08 Jan 07 - 05:43 PM *G* |
Subject: RE: BS: God Hates Straights... From: Peace Date: 08 Jan 07 - 05:44 PM "That's why the world is round not flat." It's round like a saucer. |
Subject: RE: BS: God Hates Straights... From: Severn Date: 08 Jan 07 - 06:08 PM But God knows enough not to draw to an inside one. God DOES hate War. ....And Crazy Eights, as well! Solitaridy Forever, Severn |
Subject: RE: BS: God Hates Straights... From: autolycus Date: 08 Jan 07 - 06:16 PM God supports Tottenham Hotspur, thinks Mahler's the greatest, has tried to ban marmite, loves evrybody,thinks gambling's a waste of time and that smoking kills. he told me. When we talk to god,that's called praying. When he talks to us,we're locked away. Now who actually (scientifically) knows what God thinks.(I'm making lots of assumptions here.) As we all do. Ivor |
Subject: RE: BS: God Hates Straights... From: John Hardly Date: 08 Jan 07 - 06:34 PM without straights all kilns would be bee hive shaped. |
Subject: RE: BS: God Hates Straights... From: bobad Date: 08 Jan 07 - 06:42 PM He hates shrimp too. |
Subject: RE: BS: God Hates Straights... From: Bee-dubya-ell Date: 08 Jan 07 - 06:43 PM Well, if God hates Straits, why'd he make so many? Gibraltar, Florida, Magellan, Hormuz.... There's over a hundred of 'em. Might as well say "God hates Fjords", which is ridiculous. Everybody knows God merely dislikes Fjords. It's Pjontiacs He hates. |
Subject: RE: BS: God Hates Straights... From: Peace Date: 08 Jan 07 - 06:49 PM Don't blame God for hating shrimp. I ate a few dozen and got a swollen throat. |
Subject: RE: BS: God Hates Straights... From: Cluin Date: 08 Jan 07 - 06:50 PM It's why God created the whale. |
Subject: RE: BS: God Hates Straights... From: skipy Date: 08 Jan 07 - 06:52 PM Then perhaps he should drive for NASCAR, they just go round & round & round. Skipy |
Subject: RE: BS: God Hates Straights... From: bobad Date: 08 Jan 07 - 07:00 PM He's not fond of figs also. |
Subject: RE: BS: God Hates Straights... From: John O'L Date: 08 Jan 07 - 07:24 PM He's a bit of a puritan isn't he. Get a life God. |
Subject: RE: BS: God Hates Straights... From: Cluin Date: 08 Jan 07 - 07:28 PM Who is this God of Hate anyway? |
Subject: RE: BS: God Hates Straights... From: Peace Date: 08 Jan 07 - 07:31 PM "How can anyone hate Merlin????" I just read that list posted by Guest. Whew. Sheep shaggers ain't on it. |
Subject: RE: BS: God Hates Straights... From: Cluin Date: 08 Jan 07 - 07:33 PM That was #2, Peace. |
Subject: RE: BS: God Hates Straights... From: Bill D Date: 08 Jan 07 - 07:38 PM Seems as if God has a bit of a multiple-personality disorder. http://www.godhatesfags.com/ http://www.godhateshomophobes.com/ http://www.godhateschristians.info/ http://www.godhatesfredphelps.com/ God Hates Blogs I could go on, but I'd probably be smitten...(smoten? smiteted?) |
Subject: RE: BS: God Hates Straights... From: Paul from Hull Date: 08 Jan 07 - 07:43 PM 'Smat' seems to fit, Bill...after the fact, anyway...*G* |
Subject: RE: BS: God Hates Straights... From: Bee-dubya-ell Date: 08 Jan 07 - 10:48 PM In anticipation of Mr. Phelps interpreting Hurricane Katrina as divine retribution for New Orleans' sinful ways and starting a "God Hates New Orleans" website, someone beat him to the punch by registering the domain name"godhatesneworleans.com" before he could get his grubby hands on it. If you click on it, you get a brief screen telling you that God does NOT hate New Orleans, and then you're forwarded to a Red Cross donation site. |
Subject: RE: BS: God Hates Straights... From: Peace Date: 08 Jan 07 - 11:41 PM Phelps is in deep shit, IMO. |
Subject: RE: BS: God Hates Straights... From: Little Hawk Date: 08 Jan 07 - 11:47 PM God doesn't hate anything. It's people who hate things. You know why? Hatred is a symptom of fear. |
Subject: RE: BS: God Hates Straights... From: Richard Bridge Date: 09 Jan 07 - 06:26 PM Y'know, I was taught God hated joints. |
Subject: RE: BS: God Hates Straights... From: Cluin Date: 09 Jan 07 - 06:40 PM God abhors a vaccuum. |
Subject: RE: BS: God Hates Straights... From: Ebbie Date: 09 Jan 07 - 06:45 PM I myself like the Oreck for its portability. |
Subject: RE: BS: God Hates Straights... From: John Hardly Date: 09 Jan 07 - 06:48 PM "God abhors a vaccuum." That was already discussed here . |
Subject: RE: BS: God Hates Straights... From: Tom Hamilton frae Saltcoats Scotland Date: 10 Jan 07 - 08:39 AM I am a born again Christian, I love God and he Loves me, however I try and love people that ridicule my beliefs or anyone elses, I mean would you lot says this sort of thing about Muslims or Jews or any other religion somehow i don't think so. Love and God Bless Tom I know I'm going to Heaven where are you lot going I wonder. Remember when I'm up there I will helping Jesus who to send to hell to burn forever. God Bless |
Subject: RE: BS: God Hates Straights... From: GUEST Date: 10 Jan 07 - 08:46 AM Nothing burns forever. Even an elephant would go out eventually. Do bad elephants go to hell? If good elephants go to heaven how do they get wings to fit them and wouldn't they fall through the clouds? |
Subject: RE: BS: God Hates Straights... From: Tom Hamilton frae Saltcoats Scotland Date: 10 Jan 07 - 09:51 AM you don't know the power of God or the Devil, read your bible! |
Subject: RE: BS: God Hates Straights... From: Tom Hamilton frae Saltcoats Scotland Date: 10 Jan 07 - 09:53 AM Do The Wicked Burn For Ever? Are People Burning In Hell Now? :Home :About :Contact :Friend :Links Popular Links The Ten Commandments The Sabbath Day Truth The Truth About Death Rapture Truth Revealed Bible Truth Revealed Mark of the Beast 666 Speaking-in-Tongues About Wicca Witchcraft 1000 Year Millennium Secret Rapture Truth Secret Church Rapture Christian Rapture Truth Words of Wisdom "Use your words as building blocks not battering rams." "A word of love can make a world of difference." "If God took you to it, He'll get you through it." "Not liking someone is no excuse for not loving them." The Truth About Hell - By Steve Wohlberg The Very Hot Topic of Hell Hell! It's a terrifying subject and the truth about hell is very much misunderstood.
-Joe Offer- |
Subject: RE: BS: God Hates Straights... From: Tom Hamilton frae Saltcoats Scotland Date: 10 Jan 07 - 10:01 AM Proove that you will not burn forever, and if you can I'll accept it if not then I won't. however you beleive in what you want and I'll believe in what I want. I mean can you lot not take a joke. Tom |
Subject: RE: BS: God Hates Straights... From: Wesley S Date: 10 Jan 07 - 10:43 AM Tom - with all due respect to your beliefs - do you have any children? Did you have to warn them not to touch the stove because it was hot? When they went ahead and touched the stove anyway what did you do? Did you throw them in the oven to burn forever because they disobeyed you? Or did you forgive them, fix the burn and warn them not to do it again? Don't you think that God loves you and all sinners the same way you love your children? The God I believe in does. I'm sorry the God you believe in doesn't. |
Subject: RE: BS: God Hates Straights... From: Paul Burke Date: 10 Jan 07 - 11:00 AM Poor Tom. He supports a god who believes in torture, and not just Saddam Hussein type torture that lasts a few months then you die, but goes on forever- AND HE THINKS THIS IS MORAL. No, if such a god exists, people are more moral than god. I don't believe that and I'm surprised that Tom should want me to believe that. In fact, I don't believe he does, when he examines the consequences of his beliefs. But if he does, in full knowledge of the implications (which he has now), he's worse than a moral leper. If such a god exists, it is exactly the same as Satan (come to think of it, who created Satan? Knowing EXACTLY what Satan was going to do?) If you believe such a god exists, you are morally obliged to oppose such a being. If you don't oppose it, you no better than those who support any other tyrant, criminal, torturer, murderer, or parker-on-double-yellow-lines. |
Subject: RE: BS: God Hates Straights... From: Paul Burke Date: 10 Jan 07 - 11:10 AM Oh, and BTW Tom, you DON'T know you are going to heaven. Only god knows that, and of course has known it since infinite time before the creation of the universe. You may believe you are, but you might have done something (or not done something) that you've forgotten about, or do something before you die, and find yourself in the wrong queue. Many are cold but few are frozen, not all who cry lawdy lawdy will be shaved. |
Subject: RE: BS: God Hates Straights... From: JeremyC Date: 10 Jan 07 - 11:28 AM Tom, that was a lot of words. Did you copy/paste that yourself, or did you have help? |
Subject: RE: BS: God Hates Straights... From: Peace Date: 10 Jan 07 - 11:31 AM Gwine to heaven. Gwine to find out what gwine mean. Lenny Bruce |
Subject: RE: BS: God Hates Straights... From: GUEST Date: 10 Jan 07 - 11:32 AM Divine intervention? |
Subject: RE: BS: God Hates Straights... From: Cluin Date: 10 Jan 07 - 12:18 PM Did you have to copy & paste the whole damn webpage, Tom? There are rules here about that. Or did you figure you'll earn the wages of virtue by the letter? |
Subject: RE: BS: God Hates Straights... From: Bill D Date: 10 Jan 07 - 12:57 PM We are aware you are a religious man, Tom, and we can respect that...but this is NOT the proper place for preaching. Please confine your comments to references and do NOT expect everyone to read proselytizing. |
Subject: RE: BS: God Hates Straights... From: Tom Hamilton frae Saltcoats Scotland Date: 10 Jan 07 - 01:24 PM last word about me and then I'll go all right as is says in the Bible in John chapter 3 verse 16 for God so loved the world that he gave his only begoten son that whoever believes in him should not perish but have everlasting life. as Jesus says the only way to heaven is to be born again well I'm born again in the spirit are you, so I'm Know I'm going to heaven because Jesus/God says so. Goodbye. |
Subject: RE: BS: God Hates Straights... From: Tom Hamilton frae Saltcoats Scotland Date: 10 Jan 07 - 01:28 PM Oh Ps. I just don't like people that put down Christians that's all, as I said you wouldn't do it to a muslum or a Jew or a Hindu, but you do it to a Christian, I'm just standing up for my fellow Christains that's all, because when insult Jesus you insult every Christian in the world. |
Subject: RE: BS: God Hates Straights... From: Shaneo Date: 10 Jan 07 - 01:37 PM Tom, does born again mean to rekindle your faith/to return to the ways of God/Jesus Christ , or does born again mean to be baptised again and start from scratch. I am a Christian and proud of it . |
Subject: RE: BS: God Hates Straights... From: Mrs.Duck Date: 10 Jan 07 - 02:19 PM Unfortunately saying we know something because the bible says so only works if you believe the bible is truth. It is all a question of faith. As to whether the forum ever makes jokes at the expense of other religions I think it almost certanly has and does. This doesn't always mean that the religion or beliefs are being ridiculed. |
Subject: RE: BS: God Hates Straights... From: Don Firth Date: 10 Jan 07 - 02:41 PM Faith is faith, not certainty. If faith were certainty, it would not be faith. I find it interesting that when people say they know they're going to heaven, they always say it with a touch of pride. Isn't pride one of the Seven Deadly Sins? Be careful. . . . Don Firth |
Subject: RE: BS: God Hates Straights... From: Tom Hamilton frae Saltcoats Scotland Date: 10 Jan 07 - 02:51 PM Born Again means that you're born again in the spirit of God, and if you don't have the holy spirit then you're not born again. Anyway let's agree to disagree. Tom what you believe isn't what I believe. let bygones be bygones. As Jesus said the only way to heaven is to born again in him. Anyway that's my beleif |
Subject: RE: BS: God Hates Straights... From: GUEST Date: 10 Jan 07 - 07:37 PM Bee-dubya-ell: You forgot a couple of very important straits: DIRE and DESPERATE. :>) Lin |
Subject: RE: BS: God Hates Straights... From: Ebbie Date: 11 Jan 07 - 12:06 AM Tom, did you paste that site in here to demonstrate 'forever'? "Remember when I'm up there I will helping Jesus who to send to hell to burn forever." Tom Hamilton When I was a girl being reared in a devout Christian home I heard my father and a guest speak about the transgressions of a man they knew who was non-Christian. One of them said, I just tell myself: Just you wait! And they laughed comfortably. If you, Tom - or my father and his friend - really, truly believe what you say you believe, it would be an outrage to feel joyful that someone else is going to burn in hell. That is not Christian in any sense that I have any understanding of. As for hell, I do NOT believe in that kind of thing. Extinguishment I can understand but we have an inborn knowledge that torture (cruelty) is obscene. The Created is not better than its Creator, so if WE know cruelty is wrong, then we know that the Creator would not indulge in it, is not capable of it. Now, don't go away with your feelings hurt, thinking that we are ridiculing you or your belief. If the other posters are coming from the same place as I, we are simply trying to help you to stop and think. |
Subject: RE: BS: God Hates Straights... From: Cluin Date: 11 Jan 07 - 12:15 AM God talks to Moses through the burning bush, says go to Pharaoh and tell him "Let my people go!". Moses does that. Pharaoh says no. So God sends plagues. Moses says again, "Let my People go!". God hardens Pharaoh's heart so he says no again. So God can send more plagues. What do you do with something like that? Joseph Campbell was right. There's no more dreary mythology going than that one. |
Subject: RE: BS: God Hates Straights... From: Big Al Whittle Date: 11 Jan 07 - 03:03 AM In the 1960's we used to call non-marihuana cigarettes straights. the past is another country..... |
Subject: RE: BS: God Hates Straights... From: Paul Burke Date: 11 Jan 07 - 03:43 AM You didn't stuff the other ones up your...? Never mind Al. |
Subject: RE: BS: God Hates Straights... From: JeremyC Date: 11 Jan 07 - 08:29 AM God talks to Moses through the burning bush, says go to Pharaoh and tell him "Let my people go!". Moses does that. Pharaoh says no. So God sends plagues. Moses says again, "Let my People go!". God hardens Pharaoh's heart so he says no again. So God can send more plagues. I have to say, between this, Job, and the story of children being EATEN BY BEARS because they made fun of Elijah's bald head, God seems like kind of a prick. |
Subject: RE: BS: God Hates Straights... From: Tom Hamilton frae Saltcoats Scotland Date: 11 Jan 07 - 08:42 AM OK I'LL DO THAT. I'LL JUST STOP AND THINK ABOUT WHAT I WROTE, HOWEVER THAT IS WHAT I BELIEVE IN, I DON'T REALLY CARE WHAT ANYONE ELSE BELIEVES IN. AS I SAID LET BYGONES BE BYGONES, LETS AGREE TO DISAGREE. TOM |
Subject: RE: BS: God Hates Straights... From: Big Al Whittle Date: 11 Jan 07 - 11:20 AM that's right Paul, we used call marihuana ....shit as in- got any shit, man? |
Subject: RE: BS: God Hates Straights... From: Big Al Whittle Date: 11 Jan 07 - 11:22 AM its not that I don't care about your conversation about the nuances of the afterlife, but God asked to let it a surprise for you |
Subject: RE: BS: God Hates Straights... From: Ebbie Date: 11 Jan 07 - 04:19 PM Over a period of several weeks I listened to an audio CD made by a priest, Richard Rohr. Anybody ever heard of him? I hadn't. Anyway he says that the Old Testament stories of God and Man rely heavily on their own culture and their understanding of how things should be done, and that they have very little to do with God. Makes one wonder whether anyone should ever say that is how things are. I know that my understanding is evolving- and that doesn't even imply that my understanding today is better than it was yesterday- just different. Tomorrow it may be different again. |
Subject: RE: BS: God Hates Straights... From: DMcG Date: 11 Jan 07 - 04:53 PM I was given a link to a philosophy site yesterday that includes BattleGround God, which checks the consistancies of your views about God. The actual game is at the bottom of the page, but I've linked to the explanation! |
Subject: RE: BS: God Hates Straights... From: katlaughing Date: 11 Jan 07 - 05:04 PM DMcG, I wasn't going to post to this thread, at all, but I wanted to thank you for the link. It was like debating with BillD, reading those questions! I am happy to say I only took one direct and bit only one bullet, so I was awarded the TPM medal of distinction. Their second highest award for outstanding service on the intellectual battleground! Thanks! kat |
Subject: RE: BS: God Hates Straights... From: Ebbie Date: 11 Jan 07 - 05:05 PM That was fun, DMcG. Made me stop and think and I did fine until the very last question when me logic filed me. "The fact that you progressed through this activity being hit only once and biting no bullets suggests that your beliefs about God are well thought out and almost entirely internally consistent. "The direct hit you suffered occurred because one set of your answers implied a logical contradiction. At the bottom of this page, we have reproduced the analysis of your direct hit. You would have bitten bullets had you responded in ways that required that you held views that most people would have found strange, incredible or unpalatable. However, this did not occur which means that despite the direct hit you qualify for our second highest award. A good achievement!" |
Subject: RE: BS: God Hates Straights... From: Bill D Date: 11 Jan 07 - 05:06 PM Well...I got perfect score and "The Medal of Honor" in logic....7.7% of those who took the test. As they say, it says little about 'truth', but only tests 'consistency'.....and I am a BIG fan of that. |
Subject: RE: BS: God Hates Straights... From: jacqui.c Date: 11 Jan 07 - 05:14 PM I got two hits and bit no bullets. Nice game. |
Subject: RE: BS: God Hates Straights... From: bobad Date: 11 Jan 07 - 05:20 PM I, too, am a one hit wonder. |
Subject: RE: BS: God Hates Straights... From: JeremyC Date: 11 Jan 07 - 05:44 PM Interesting link. I took zero hits, but I also don't have much belief in god or any form of absolute morality, or of the justification of actions based on unsupported convictions, so I don't see any other path I could logically have taken through the questions. |
Subject: RE: BS: God Hates Straights... From: Cluin Date: 11 Jan 07 - 05:54 PM I direct hit and bit 2 bullets. |
Subject: RE: BS: God Hates Straights... From: Cluin Date: 11 Jan 07 - 05:55 PM That should be 1 direct hit and bit 2 bullets. Also a near miss. I'm a bit disappointed in my result. I pride myself on my illogic. |
Subject: RE: BS: God Hates Straights... From: Bill D Date: 11 Jan 07 - 11:58 PM It's ok....question 17 by itself is tricky. I can even find ways to quibble with them on their analysis. After about 7-8, I kinda knew what they expected, so I found it easy to resolve any 'doubts' I had. Like most of these things, it doesn't prove much, but it makes you think......briefly. |
Subject: RE: BS: God Hates Straights... From: Amos Date: 12 Jan 07 - 12:07 AM Battleground God reports: Battleground Analysis Congratulations! You have been awarded the TPM medal of honour! This is our highest award for outstanding service on the intellectual battleground. The fact that you progressed through this activity neither being hit nor biting a bullet suggests that your beliefs about God are internally consistent and very well thought out. A direct hit would have occurred had you answered in a way that implied a logical contradiction. You would have bitten bullets had you responded in ways that required that you held views that most people would have found strange, incredible or unpalatable. However, you avoided both these fates - and in doing so qualify for our highest award. A fine achievement! A |
Subject: RE: BS: God Hates Straights... From: Gurney Date: 12 Jan 07 - 01:01 AM He may. Look at how many ants there are on Earth. They OUTWEIGH humanity! Now, 99.8% of them are sterile females, the rest(ha) are breeding straights. Keeping the population going, with the aforementioned neuter females doing all the work. Hmmm. What God certainly loves is beetles. There are more varieties of those than the rest of lifeforms put together. Remember, and pause before you step on one. I remembered these statistics, and I didn't invent them. |
Subject: RE: BS: God Hates Straights... From: Gizmo Date: 12 Jan 07 - 09:18 AM In a shorter version of what Tom wrote - he says that the Earth and sky will burn - well, one day they will. All the planets in the solar system will eventually burnas the sun gets hotter before she dies out resucks in the soalr energy the BANG - Suddenly 'god' has recreated life - something else which Tom quotes. I believe the Earth and the sky will burn, in ohh about 50 billion years from now. I'm just not sure about the angels though etc. And perhaps if we do find a way to travel in space - the good (as in clever) will find us a new home to live - a new planet up in the heavens (a once popular saying to mean sky)! Anyone who is nasty and condemned i.e. rapists, murderers etc would most likely be left to die on a dying planet due to who really wants violent criminals on their space ship. I'm not having a go at christians, and I wish them well in their faith, some quotes of the bible I believe also. I suppose it just depends on which way you look at it. Just to put another spanner in the works - The description of god and followers have eternal life/light is not wholly different from the budhist ideal of reincarnation. You have reached nirvana, when you have no more lessons to be learnt, that is judged by ations. Interpretations have alot to answer for too, and scripture and language has changed somewhat over the last few millenia. Also just one worng translated word could easily doom a religion whether it be - Islamic, Jewish or Christian etc. |
Subject: RE: BS: God Hates Straights... From: guitar Date: 12 Jan 07 - 09:38 AM I'm tom hamilton frae saltcoats scotland, and I promise not to write such stuff again or try not to. Tom |
Subject: RE: BS: God Hates Straights... From: GUEST Date: 12 Jan 07 - 09:45 AM Keep your faith Tom [guitar], he who uses my name for rightisness[remember] |
Subject: RE: BS: God Hates Straights... From: guitar Date: 12 Jan 07 - 09:48 AM thanks guest, oh and thanks for whoever closed the thread 'no longer a member' . |
Subject: RE: BS: God Hates Straights... From: Big Al Whittle Date: 12 Jan 07 - 10:49 AM I've just had an e-mail from God. He's not happy about this thread and its smacked bums all round when he gets hold of you lot. And stop making fun of his beetle collection. Show a bit of reverence. |
Subject: RE: BS: God Hates Straights... From: Paul from Hull Date: 12 Jan 07 - 10:57 AM Namedropper! |