Chongo Chimp, Primate Eye (story)

Subject: RE: Chongo Chimp, Primate Eye (story)
From: freda underhill
Date: 28 Dec 03 - 11:43 PM

It was all getting too much. Chongo's head was like a bad drummer's beat, his mouth like a putrid banana, rotten, soggy and fluffy with accumulated ape breath. From far away, through an open window somewhere, Chongo heard the faint sound of a blues harp, and a voice like a rusty gate..

SWEET HOME CHIMPAGO
Roberta Johnson

Oh, baby don't you want to go? (2x)
Back to the land of California, sweet Chongo Chimps abode.

Oh, baby don't you want to go? (2x)
Back to the land of California, sweet Chongo Chimps abode.
.
Now, one and one is two, two and two is four,
I'm heavy loaded Betty, I'm yours, I'm ready to go,
Cryin' Betty, honey don't you want to go?
Back to the land of California, sweet Chongo Chimps abode.

Now two and two is four, four and two is six,
You gonna keep on monkeyin' 'round with baboons Lenny,
you gonna get your business thrown out in the streets.
Cryin' Betty, honey don't you want to go?
Back to the land of California, sweet Chongo Chimps abode.

Now six and two is eight, eight and two is ten,
This Betty, she trick you one time, she sure gonna do it to Len,
I'm cryin' hey--, baby don't you want to go?
Back to the land of California, sweet Chongo Chimps abode.

I'm going to California, some street ape comes my way,
Somebody will tell me Betty that you need my help some day,
Cryin' hey hey, baby don't you want to go?
Back to the land of California, to sweet Chongo Chimps abode.
The oily stains on the faded street wall moved, bigger and smaller as the sound of the blues harp echoed through Chongo's drifting brain. His eyes were bulging like two throttled toads. His head was racing, struggling with a pungent sense of déjà vu. He'd heard those words before.. but something was different. All he could think of were those long, long legs, and since it was his fantasy, he covered them with thick, long, sensuous black hair..

Subject: RE: Chongo Chimp, Primate Eye (story)
From: Peace
Date: 29 Dec 03 - 12:59 AM

In Chongo's mind raced fastly the turbulent notion of a torrid encounter with a Californian babe with as much hair as a Mexican hairless doesn't have. As sweat pulsed down his bulging brow and dripped sordidly to the floor, he thought of his long-dead grandmother and ideas of a quick relief from the stresses of the thankless days left him as he hung his head in shame.

Subject: RE: Chongo Chimp, Primate Eye (story)
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Dec 03 - 09:19 AM

It wasn't easy, either, typing stuff in around a misplaced ad. Damn HTML and XML and XSL and such like iniitals, thought Chongo. I wonder what they mean?

But he came out from behind the billboard -- it helped if he thought of them as billboards -- and swung himself on the window ledge. He knocked.

No answer. He knocked again.

Still no answer.

He tugged on the casement window. It swung open. Unlocked. Damn stupid little Cap, just like 'em, their braincases were so small....

The trail of blood snagged his attention like stinkbait catches a catfish. It wasn't droplets, but a pretty good stream. Liquid, he thought, but going pasty.

For some reason, pasty made him think of Laura. He shook his head to clear it. He'd need a clear head, because all he had was his .357. The Capone-model typewriter was still in his Burberry, the sawed-off in the other pocket.

Gat in hand, he followed the trail.

It grew cold as he entered the ratty kitchen. Nymbel was there, growing cold too. Or colder. Chongo looked at the open window, first up and then down.

Whoever plugged Nymbel was either a damn good climber for a human or a middling good Simian-American. It was seven stories to the concrete, and five more to the roof. Probably simian -- there were no heel marks or other indications that the hitter had been wearing shoes.

Chongo turned, looked around. They'd blasted poor old Nymbel like they'd used a cannon. Wonder what they used...cartridge case over there...aw shit, no!

.357. And now his prints were on it. Someone had known that he had the Monster under his jacket and had set him up for a fall. And since Nymbel's hands were tied and he'd been shot in the back of the head, they wanted him to fall for Murder One.

Neat. Chongo takes the fall and fries in the Hot Seat in Joliet. He wondered when the cops would show, and then the knock came.

Subject: RE: Chongo Chimp, Primate Eye (story)
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 Dec 03 - 06:28 PM

Editor's note: Aw, fer flip's sake! Can't I invent or name any minor character without some cowriter offing him within a page or so? How'm I supposed ta build character here, bo? Answer me that? Geez. I was figurin' on Chongo spendin' at least a couple of days workin' out of Nymbel's place, see? I figgered Chachi was gonna be around for awhile too, but noooo...you guys gotta blow everybody away. I go to all the trouble of comin' up with really unique and memorable names for characters and POW! They get put on ice. Whattya think this is, some stupid 1990's action film here with 55 bangs a minute? This is the '40's, see? We gotta build a little atmosphere before we start throwin' lead around like Dutch Shulz on a hot Sunday afternoon.

Aw hell, we can edit this stuff later I guess. Rewind back a ways, Mabel, and we'll plug that part in later where it fits...and gimme a coffee. With a slug of whisky in it.

* * * * *

Nymbel and Fat Freddy had gone down to Chongo's office, but found no one there, so they came back to Nymbel's dump instead. The first thing they saw when Nymbel unlocked the door was Chongo, sitting calmly in the armchair, cutting a fresh cigar, and working on a stiff drink. "Hi, Nymbel," said Chongo. "You left your window open again. I told ya never to do that. It's wet as a fisherman's boots out there, so I let myself in and poured a quick one to warm up. Okay? Who's the fat guy?"

"Chongo..." said Fat Freddy. His eyes stared vacantly at the wallpaper, which had little sleds and horses all over it and was peeling off in places. Nymbel just stood there with his little mouth hanging open. He was quite surprised to see Chongo.

"Wrong, Roscoe. I'm Chongo. Who the hell are you?"

"He's confused," chattered Nymbel, "I thought he was looking for you, but now I'm not so sure. All he does is keep saying "Chongo" now and then. Maybe he needs a drink too. I know I do. We been all over town lookin' for you. I heard there was a car torched over on 28th Street. It was a Ford. There wasn't no one in it though. The coppers are goin' bananas with all the rumpus all over town, and the buzz is that the Miami mob has sent some bruno up here to shake down the Southside Baboons for some hot mangos or somepn'. Meanwhile, Big Daddy Malone has taken over control of the North Side Gorillas. There may be a fullscale turf war about ta bust us all in the chops. You ask me, there is somepn' big goin' on. No small peaches here...Big Bananas! I figger that____"

Once you get a capuchin started you can just stand back and listen forever like you were listening to a waterfall. Chongo sipped his drink thoughtfully, and let the little monkey jabber all he wanted. What the hell, it was his place, right? He didn't find out much he didn't already know.

The fat chimp just stood there, looking shellshocked. After awhile, Chongo fixed him a drink and took it over. He took him by the right shoulder and steered him into a chair, like moving a big package on one of those wooden dollies, and put the drink in his hand. Fat Freddy stared at it glassily, and said "Chongo...".

"No, dummy. I'm Chongo. Drink that."

Fat Freddy obeyed, and a little warmth crept into his eyes as the booze took effect.

"You said somepn' about the Miami mob, didn'tcha, Nymbel?"

"Yeah. Talk on the street is that they sent a chief enforcer up here and he shook down Elmo over at the Southside. For what, I don't know. Then he dusted."

"The Southside drills blew up Joey's the other day when I was sittin' there tryin' to have my breakfast, and they killed Chachi. They also killed the best beanery in my neighborhood, I regret to say..."

Nymble blinked. "Chachi's dead? Jesus. He owed me a crate of bananas."

"Tough. He owed everyone in this town a crate of bananas. You can write 'em off, Nymbel, same as my car. If you don't mind, I'm gonna search this bird. His cuckoo clock don't chime no more for some reason, and I intend to find out why."

Chongo went through Fat Freddy's pockets with no reaction from the big chimp, who was staring vacantly at the bottom of his empty glass. Nymbel filled it up again for him and kept chattering busily about nothing worth noting down for posterity. How did a chimp get this fat anyway? It was disgusting.

"Hmmmm...this guy's name is Freddy. Freddy Moganoll. That rings some kind of a bell. Where have I heard of a really fat chimp named Fat Freddy Moganoll? Wait. He's got an address in...Coral Gables."

"Coral Gables?" chittered Nymbel. "Sounds like a place in the tropics to me. I bet they've got good fruit there."

"Matter of fact," said Chongo, "it's closer than that. It's right next door to Miami. What we got here is your bruno from the Miami mob unless I miss my guess, and if I do let's hope it don't shoot back."

Nymble got so excited he almost had a seizure. Hosting the Miami mob's chief enforcer was not his idea of a good idea, even if his brain was fried. "We gotta get him outa here!" he squeaked.

"Not just yet," said Chongo. "First we see if he can say anthing besides "chongo". It's a beautiful word, and I love to hear it, but it starts to wear after the fiftieth time...Hey, Freddy!" He gave fat Freddy a couple of slaps across the kisser to see if that would wake him up. It didn't help much. Chongo studied Freddy's eyes carefully.

"He ain't been drugged. He has been bopped a good one on the conk, but not hard enough to do this. Somethin' strange goin' on here. He was also tied up not too long ago, and struggled like hell to get loose. I can see the marks on his arms and legs. Someone musta given him the Chinese water torture or somethin'."

Nothing they did helped. It appeared Fat Freddy's brain was cooked, at least for the moment, so Chongo gave it up, put Freddy's papers, keys, and other stuff back in his pockets, and proceeded to fill Nymbel in on the events of the last couple of days. The capuchin might pick up something Chongo had missed.

"You're kiddin' me!" gasped Nymbel, when Chongo reached the part about Laura. "You danced with a dame? A human dame?"

"Yeah," said Chongo morosely. It would be all over town by now anyway, he figured.

"Was she tall?"

"Like a derrick. Hadda be 5'10" in her heels."

"Why did she do that? Why did you?"

"I don't know. I know I'm good lookin', but I ain't stupid. Matter of fact, she played on my pride. Like I was yellow or somepn'. You know broads...I got maneuvered into a spot and I just had to dance my way out of it, that's all."

"Geez. Five ten! Geez." Nymbel was rendered almost speechless as he tried to picture that. "She was almost hairless, right?"

"Yeah. Except for her head. I can't stand how they're so hairless," said Chongo, lying through his teeth. He could still smell her perfume and feel the cool smoothness of her hands. She had long, graceful fingers with polished nails, deep violet. Killer nails.

He briefly summed up his escape from Antonio's, leaving out the part where Laura warned him and more especially the part where she stuck up the Greaser hood in the washroom. The way Chongo told it, he had simply heard the guy coming and conked him when he came in the door. No sense implicating her in any way at this point. She was an unknown quantity.

There wasn't much more to tell except for the nice little chat Chongo had had with the angry dope through the chimney vent. That made Nymbel laugh so hard he just about fell off his chair.

By this time it was getting late. Time to get some shuteye. Fat Freddy was conked out in the armchair and Nymbel had decided to leave him there for a bit. The little monkey excused himself and vanished into the bedroom. Chongo stretched out on the couch and made himself as comfortable as possible, but he didn't fall asleep for a long time. He watched as the sky outside slowly cleared, revealing a cold crescent moon in its first quarter. The thin yellow moonlight fell on Fat Freddy's face from which loud snores were coming. In its glow Chongo noticed something else...a kind of tattoo on one of Freddy's large palms. It was a tattoo...or a brand...of a tenor bango. On the face of the bango were emblazoned three letters. "B.D.M."

"Big Daddy Malone," breathed Chongo.

The moon stared silently down and said nothing.

******

Subject: RE: Chongo Chimp, Primate Eye (story)
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Dec 03 - 09:20 PM

Hey, this here's CHICAGO! SHE-CAW-GO!! The city Billy Sunday couldn't shut down! The place with State Street, where they do things that they don't do on Broadway! The Hog Butcher to the World! Home turf for Roger Touhy, Al Capone, Dion O'Bannon, Richard Daley I and II!! You want pansy-pants minor characters to last longer than a couple hunnert woids, you shoulda set the thing in New York or LA or some other nicey-nicey town, someplace where you won't see a man dance with his wife! But not Chicago, the town with TWO major league baseball teams, home of Ebony magazine, the Shedd Aquarium, the Museum of Science and Industry, the Art Institute, the U-505, the city of broad shoulders, the city that had a nuclear reactor lit under Stagg Field. Us guys from Downstate may not like Chicago tryin' to run the state, but it's still ours.

Got it?

Okay.

I didn't kill off Laura, did I?

Subject: RE: Chongo Chimp, Primate Eye (story)
From: Charley Noble
Date: 29 Dec 03 - 10:01 PM

I'm not sure why but the roof escapade reminds me of my own rooftop adventures at the age of 10 while visiting my grandparents in Brooklyn Heights. They had a back porch on the second floor overlooking the adjacent back yards and for some reason I had the irresistable urge to hurl an egg out over the buildings into the street beyond, which I did successfully. I wonder if it landed somewhere significantly and altered someone's life? I guess I'll never know unless YOU were there walking down that street, and I still remember the name of that street so you trolls can't fool me!

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: Chongo Chimp, Primate Eye (story)
From: Little Hawk
Date: 30 Dec 03 - 12:55 AM

I follow your line of reasonin', Rap. Don't start chewin' nickels. Nymbel will get his in a coupla days, and we plug yer scene right back in at that point, no sweat. I just can't let him die before we got somepn' nice to put on his gravestone in memoriam. I hate ta think of you slavin' away over a hot typewriter for nothin'. You are dead right about Chicago, that's for sure, and any cultural details you can supply on the Windy City are well appreciated, cos I only seen the place a few times from an airplane...and that was enough.

Man, I either need a new mattress or a line of work that pays better...or both. The Cuban rum ain't workin'.

- LH

Subject: RE: Chongo Chimp, Primate Eye (story)
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Dec 03 - 09:02 AM

I used to make tombstones. (Really, I did.) Hows about these:

Here lies Nymble.
He wasn't as quick as he thought he was.

Or

Cap be Nymbel, Cap be quick
Betcha can't outrun a firestick.

Or

Nymbel -- gone and not worth remembering.

Or

Stranger, know as you pass by
That as you are now, so once was I,
As I am now, so you will be,
So swing by your tail and follow me.

Subject: RE: Chongo Chimp, Primate Eye (story)
From: Chief Chaos
Date: 30 Dec 03 - 10:57 AM

At the precinct Detective Lance Drecker walked slowly and calmly back to his office, calmyly closed the door and drew the blinds, laid some case files on his desk and then nearly put his fist through the heavy bag he kept in his office for just such a purpose. He'd just spent the better part of an hour being chewed out by his Captain while suffering through the worst hang-over it had ever been his displeasure to survive. Banana Whiskey was an all purpose, evil brew that could double for paint remover in a pinch. But if Man or for that matter Ape wanted to get shit-faced drunk it would do the trick but quick. Captain Quirk was of the new breed of cop. The kind that carried a diploma instead of a black jack. The kind that believed in methodical scientific police work instead of a back alley work over. Quirk wouldn't have turned to Drecker except that with Tully on vacation, O'leary out with burns suffered at his mom's farm, and Baker suffering a skull fracture courtesy of a macaque hopped up on doped bananas, he'd had no choice. His disdain for Drecker gushed like water from a broken hydrant. Something was going on in his precinct and he wanted answers.
First the baboon known as Elmo, a.k.a. "Singing Elmo", a.k.a. "Tickle Me Elmo", had been found on the pavement outside his gang's hangout. Defenstrated the report had said. Drecker had had to dust off his dictionary to look up the damn word. Couldn't the cop who wrote the report just have said Elmo had been thrown through a window? It was enough to give a guy a headache if he already didn't have one. "Smart Ass rooky" he thought. Just to be sure he was right about the rookie, he pulled out the card the rookie had given them when they'd met a week earlier. No words on it, just a drawing of a penis outlined in chalk. Dick Tracie, that was his name. Drecker was right, smart ass rookie, wouldn't amount to a hill of damn beans in his estimation.
The second piece of the jigsaw was a missing mob enforcer from Miami called Fat Freddy. The feds had put a tail on him when he left Miami but they'd lost him on Chicago's waterfront. A leading mob heavy dropping out of sight made both the feds and Captain Quirk very nervous. If Fat Freddy remained on the loose who knew what hell might break loose.
Then there was the curious shoot out between members of the West End Gorillas that nobody seemed to want to talk about. It was almost as if it was an accident the way they hung there heads in embarrassment and muttered .
Last but not least, and probably the straw that broke Quirk's back was the death of Chachi and the near outright demolition of Joeys. Drecker had liked Joeys. Bit of a greasy spoon but an all right joint for a late night cup of joe. It was with this last piece that Drecker found a break. Chachi had been a sometime associate of his friend Chongo. If anyone could help him put together these seemingly unconnected events it would be Chongo. He'd remained friends with Chongo after Chongo had been discharged from the force. Chongo didn't know it but the bat that had shattered his knee had been meant for Drecker. Chongo had just been in the wrong place at the wrong time. Sure they acted the part of gumshoe and hard bitten cop but it was just that, an act. Drecker knew that Chongo couldn't do his thing if his clients thought that the cops would be in on everything, especially those clients that didn't want the police involved in the first place.
When the feeling had returned to his fist he put on his holstered .38 special. Six inches of cold blue steel sanctioned by the Chicago Police Dept. Nice gat for dealing with your normal human scum, but worth a shit against some overgrown hairy mountain gorilla. He reached into his desk and pulled out his personal favorite, an Army issue M 1911 A .45 caliber semi-auto pistol given to him personally by Colonel Thomson after he'd helped the Colonel after a particularly interesting R & R weekend in the Windy City. He hefted it's weight in his hand. Hell of a kick, but what you knocked down with this hand cannon stayed the hell down. Drecker slid it into a hide away holster at the small of his back. With his beat-up Fedora and his overcoat he was ready to pay a visit to his old friend.
Out in the garage he passed by the marked cars as well as the unmarked. Every primate in town wouldn't hesitate to take a pot shot at him in one of those. He stopped and got into his personal car, a 1933 Cadillac in Banana Yellow. No one knew where he'd gotten it from and everyone was smart enough not to ask. Although Drecker didn't care for the color it had been a gift to him from the original Mr. Big, The King, Mr. Kong himself. Being a cop in a world over run with gangsters meant sometimes letting your problems take care of each other. Kong had been more than happy with the tips Drecker had secretly given him and for the misdirection of the police while Kong's pride had "removed" a Chicago gang that was trying to muscle in on the Big Apple's action. Drecker had genuinely liked Kong in a way. Sure he was an island boy led astray by the bright lights and big city, but there had been something special about him. Well, at least Kong had been somebody you could look up to he grinned. Unfortunately Kong had over reached even his massive grip, probably pushed on by that dame Fay that he'd gone ape over. The feds had taken Kong out on the Empire State building while he was pulling off his biggest heist. Drecker still had the Tribune that had chronicled Kong's death under the banner headline "The King Has Left The Building". The Caddy was a custom job with a high powered engine. The only one like it in the world, let alone Chicago. In it he was as safe as a baby in even the roughest part of town. Nobody would touch it. Even if the police didn't know who it had come from, the gangs did. Even the Macaques who had a fetish for tearing off and chewing on windshield wipers wouldn't touch it out of respect for the memory of the King. Yes the King was gone, but he was not forgotten.

Subject: RE: Chongo Chimp, Primate Eye (story)
From: Little Hawk
Date: 30 Dec 03 - 11:17 AM

Fan-freakin'-tastic! Chongo went ape when he read that one. Awright!!! Captain Chaos, you are in. We was wonderin' when Drecker would show up...love the bit about the King. "Dick Tracie"? Stroke of genius. Don't fahget yer paragraph breaks next time. Some of these coconut pickers got a low attention span and they need the breaks to stay focused.

Lissen, folks...I figure Drecker is the type that's gotta stay alive to the end of this tale too...so keep it in mind. He's got a long professional association with Chongo and it ain't gonna end here. Besides, any guy that drives a banana yellow 1933 Cadillac has just got too much class to quit.

- LH

Subject: RE: Chongo Chimp, Primate Eye (story)
From: Chief Chaos
Date: 30 Dec 03 - 01:27 PM

Out of the precinct Drecker was in his element. The Caddy growled through her gears like a jaguar in heat, man and machine were one for awhile on the streets of Chicago. For the second time that day Drecker caught a break and sailed through traffic towards Chongo's office.

If only he could forget everything, the Captain, his job, his badge, and just keep driving west. He was close to retirement, but close only counted in horseshoes. When he retired they'd probably name a wing in the prison hospital after him (that was where his "informants" ended up often enough. Other than that they'd probably just as soon forget him. But being a copper was in his blood, even if he wasn't considered the best around like he had been a decade or so ago. He'd see this through to the end. Possibly my end he thought with Chicago suddenly coming unglued like it had.

Miracle of miracles there was an open space near Chongos office. Okay so he had to walk half a block, but that was better than having to hike a couple of miles or double park it out in traffic. He pulled in, buttoned the Caddy up, no sense taking the chance that some aspiring young chimp with no lessons in history would nick it. It would be returned as it had been a time or two (no word of the chimp who'd stolen it) but that chimp might manage to scratch or ding it before his elders caught up with him.

On the steps of the building a young seargent was talking to two bluesuits who turned and ran up the steps into the building.
"How ya doin Sarge", said Drecker from the sidewalk.
The Seargent turned at the sound of his voice and greeted Drecker with an "afternoon detective".   "I just sent the boy's up to check on that private dick Chongo". "We found his burned out car in the back alley and figured we better go up".
"You didn't tell 'em to bust in I suppose," growled Decker.
"Matter of fact I did," the seargeant replied. "Figured he might be injured inside and couldn't respond to our knock."
Drecker grabbed the Seargeant and hauled him to the ground just as the third floor, where Chongo kept his office, turned into dust amid the flames and smoke of a twelve stick and oven gas booby trap.
"Damnit!, thought Drecker, " another damn funeral I'm gonna hafta attend!"
He helped the shaken Seargeant up and brushed off his coat. Now where the hell was he going to find Chongo, he thought while absentmindedly fingering a whole in his fedora where a blast driven piece of debris had just missed taking his head off.


(There, I saved his butt from going up in the office explosion that I was sure was going to come sooner or later. By the way it's Chief.)

Subject: RE: Chongo Chimp, Primate Eye (story)
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Dec 03 - 02:38 PM

Laura opened the door to the flat where she lived with her crippled mother. She entered, leaned against the doorframe, and sighed deeply.

He'd been good, that chimp. A great dancer, a swell guy. She was ashamed she'd embarassed him and nearly got him killed. Well, she'd managed to save his overcoat, an expensive one by the look and heft of it.

Well, she'd track him down and return it. Maybe even...nah, no need speculating there. She dropped it on the chair with a clunk.

Clunk?

Laura looked through the pockets and found what made it so heavy.

Maybe he wasn't the chimp he seemed. She hadn't seen that much firepower since she'd walked by Ft. Sheridan during the Saturday afternoon parade. Her eyes widened at the tommy gun.

"Laura? Honey?" came her mother's quavering voice from the bedroom.

"Yes, mom, it's me," she responded.

"RUN! Get away!" her mother screamed. "They want to kill...." There was a dull thud and the door to the bedroom was flung open. In the doorway stood a Howler with a .44 Special.

"Okay, sister," he said.

A burst from the tommy chopper cut him down where he stood, nearly cutting him in half before Laura let go of the trigger.

She gazed at the crumpled body and at the floor reddening with Howler blood.

"Are you okay, Mom?" she asked.

Subject: RE: Chongo Chimp, Primate Eye (story)
From: Little Hawk
Date: 31 Dec 03 - 12:59 AM

Editor's note: Yeah, it's "Chief Chaos". 'Scuse me, I was in a hurry. Well, just been out to see "The Last Samurai" and enjoyed it hugely, being a great lover of Japan. Now let's see...

* * * * *

Laura got no answer except some ragged breathing. "Bastards are playing hardball," she said under her breath, and edged down the hallway behind the comforting bulk of the Thompson. There was a sudden crack and tinkle of breaking glass, followed by the thud of a falling body, and a metallic bang on the floorboards.

"It's okay now," her mother called, sounding mostly just annoyed.

Laura was in the den in a moment. There was a second howler lying on the floor out like a light, with the pieces of a cheap flowered vase scattered around him. A semi-automatic 7.9 mm was still clutched in his right paw.

"Thanks, Mom. I sort of figured there'd be two of them, and you did say 'they', didn't you? I swear, the 'crippled' routine flim flams them every time."

"So...just what are you up to now?" asked her mother sharply, peering fiercely over her reading glasses, and keeping a close eye on the comatose howler.

"I can't tell you that, Mom. Believe me, I can't. I didn't think it would move this fast, and I'm sorry. Mom, you have to be out of here tonight. They will stop at nothing. Again, I am sorry, but that's the truth of the matter. It's a good time for you to go to New York, and visit Aunt Frieda. Matter of fact, there will never be a better time. I'll help you pack one bag, and then we are going to the train station...but I'm staying. Not here, though, I can tell you that. I have a place they won't know about."

Her mother glowered. "That bad, is it? Some babies never learn. Isn't this just like the old days with your dad!"

"Yeah, well, you should know...if anyone would." Laura's mom had hung out with some sharp boys when she was young, and had seen her share of tight situations. Funny how a well-off girl, brought up in a good family can get caught up in the allure of the shady side of town. But this was Chicago.

Fifteen minutes later Laura had delivered her very crabby and surprisingly uncrippled mother safely onto an eastbound train, headed south to Gary, and then onward to the Big Apple. She didn't linger, but drove north along the lakefront toward Waukegan, then west toward the small towns in the countryside.

All she had admitted to her mother was "It involves a friend. A best friend." The truth was, it involved a whole bunch of them, and best friends are hard to find when you're a very good looking young woman in a cutthroat town. These were the best friends a girl could have. That's what everybody said. They even sang a song about it, didn't they? There had to be more than a grain of truth in something like that, Laura thought. The hell of it was, she was going to have to drop out of rehearsals now. Too bad.

She hoped like hell that Chongo would get it in his head to call that number, and leave a message. She could use a smart ape with some crimefighting skills about now. Besides, she liked him. He danced well for a chimp. Specially for a chimp under severe stress.

When she got to the cabin everything was locked up tight. She drove the old Ford out of the garage, put the new Buick in where it could not be seen, and got some wood burning in the pot-bellied stove. (Roughing it again. Just like when I was a kid. This could be fun...for a day or two. Call me, Chongo. Call me.)

She would check with the answering service first thing in the morning, and keep checking. If that didn't pan out, well, there were other things a girl could do.

* * * *

Subject: RE: Chongo Chimp, Primate Eye (story)
From: Little Hawk
Date: 31 Dec 03 - 01:32 AM

Rapaire - Great set of epitaphs! I will go with:

Cap be Nymbel, Cap be quick
But he couldn't outrun a firestick.

We'll get that carved on the poor little guy's tombstone after he gets planted.

- LH

Subject: RE: Chongo Chimp, Primate Eye (story)
From: Chief Chaos
Date: 31 Dec 03 - 12:52 PM

Damn! I knew i should have posted last night! I had my third installment all thought out and now I'll have to do a re-write! Oh well, that's how things go in the windy city!

Subject: RE: Chongo Chimp, Primate Eye (story)
From: Little Hawk
Date: 31 Dec 03 - 12:57 PM

Hey, chief...if you can, PM me the original...I'd be curious to see what you had in mind.

That's the tricky thing about group stories. They have a way of going in unexpected directions.

- LH

Subject: RE: Chongo Chimp, Primate Eye (story)
From: GUEST,Chief Chaos
Date: 31 Dec 03 - 04:36 PM

Chongo woke with a start. He wasn't all that unused to waking in strange places but with all that he'd been through he was a little shaky. "I should be happy to be alive at this point," he muttered under his breath. A quick scan of the apartment told him that Nymbel had already left the apartment. There was a warm pot of coffee sitting on the burner smelling like heaven on earth to Chongo's empty stomach. A snore from the general direction of the couch startled him. Just as he was reaching for his gat he remembered that Fat Freddy was also a temporary guest of the establishment. "Christ Almighty," thought Chongo, "Damn that capuchin anyway, running off and leaving me here to babysit when I've got better things to get done." Chongo lit the burner under the pot and headed for the bathroom while the coffee heated up.

One look in the mirror told him all he needed to know. "I'm getting too old for this shit," he said to no-one in particular. He did his best with a wash rag and some soap but nothing was going to improve the way he currently felt much less the ugly mug staring back from the glass. Chongo went back into the kitchen just as the perculator started perculating and filled two mugs with steaming coffee. He woke Freddy gently, wary of the big chimp, and thrust a mug into Freddy's huge paws. "Hope you like it hot and black" he said. "Chongo", replied Freddy. He seemed to have retained enough mentality to at least know how to handle a cup of coffee even if the rest of his mind seemed to be missing. Chongo flopped down on the sofa next to him and took a long swig from his mug. Generally he'd pour a shot of whiskey in to help fire it up but for now hot and black was good enough.

"Now what the hell am I gonna do" he said to the air with a sigh.
"Chongo." replied Freddy.
"Okay, first things first, I'd better find someplace to stash you". "You don't seem capable of taking care of yourself and even if you did come here to possibly wipe me from the face of the earth I can't just leave you here." "Lord only knows when Nymbel might show up again."
Freddy looked at him through the steam rising from his mug and said "Chongo!" But what to do with a huge chimp with all of the mentality of a punching bag. "That's it!" Chongo said snapping his fingers, "I'll take you to Jake's Gym."

Jake was an old friend (most of Chongo's friends didn't seem to be able to earn that distinction, mostly because of the kind of living they found themselves in rather than through any fault of Chongo's) who had taught a young chimp that there was more to life thatn petty theft. He probably saved my life doing it too," thought Chongo. Boxing was Jake's bread and butter and since Chongo had grown up he'd often pushed wayward kids and apes into Jake's mitts. He seemed to have a way with the kids. Jake's was the perfect place to hide Freddy. None of the kids there would be inclined to pass any info to any of the gangs out of respect for Jake. And since he was taking care of so many of Chicago's urchins he was fully outfitted to handle Freddy as well.

"That's one problem solved," he said, but how do I get him over there?" "Well, maybe Jake can think of a way, my brain is about as fried as yours Freddy."
"Chongo?" Freddy asked with his head cocked to one side.
"Yeah, Chongo." Chong said picking up the phone on the sideboard.
"Hey Jake! Chongo said as the phone was answered, "this is Chongo. I'm afraid I need a hand".
"Thought you might call", Jake replied. "Lot's of heavy duty crap goin' down round town. Figured you'd be in the thick of it."
"Yeah, you know me, life of the party," said Chongo, "I got a heavy sitting here with me on the sofa who's mind is off wandering somewhere else and I need a sitter for him. I also need to figure out a way to get him and me over there inconspicuous like", I'm over at Nymbel's place right now."
"I think I can help you there", said Jake, "Give me twenty or so and I'll have someone over there to pick you up. Just sit tight."
"Thanks Jake, you don't know how much I appreciate this", said Chongo.
"I've gotten pretty good at pulling you're fat out of the fire over the years," chuckled Jake as he hung up.
"Ain't that the truth," thought Chongo, "Need that mug topped off Freddy?"
"Chongo!"

About twenty minutes later a moving van pulled up on the street outside of Nymbel's. Chongo eyed it nervously through the blinds. As he was watching, the biggest ape he had ever laid eyes on climbed out of the driver's side of the van. Chongo could here the springs squealing in protest as the driver stepped onto the street. The ape went to the back of the truck and took out two huge crates hefting them under each arm. The ape looked up to where Chongo was watching through the blinds and started towards the steps leading to Nymbels. Chongo let the blinds slip slowly back into place and reached for his thirty eight. Chongo could hear the steps groaning in protest as the ape climbed them. There came the thud of two crates hitting the floor outside of the apartment and a pretty substantial boom from the door as the ape knocked twice. Chongo eased quietly over to the door, thirty eight drawn and ready.
"Who is it?" Chongo said, trying to sound like his granny.
"Jake sent me," came the simple, quiet reply.

Chongo slowly opened the door with his gat levelled at the ape's chest. And what a chest the ape had. He filled the doorway throwing a shadow on Chongo as he eclipsed the hall light.
"You Chongo?" he asked.
Chongo didn't answer partly out of suspicion and partly out of awe.
"You want help getting out of here?",asked.
Chongo slowly nodded.
"Then put that heater away before I feed it to you," said the ape. "M' names Young, Joe Young. Jake sent me to get you out of here."
Chongo looked up into Joe's grinning mug and holstered his .38. "Wouldn't have done me a damn bit of good against him anyway", thought Chongo.

Joe reached behind him and grabbed the two crates, pushing them through the door.
"Afraid this is the only way we could think of on short notice to get you from here to there."
Chongo eyed the crates dubiously and shrugged.
"Ain't zactly first class but nobody gonna see you.", "This Freddy?" asked Joe.
"Yeah, that's Freddy," said Chongo.
"Nice to meet you mister Freddy," Joe said, sticking out a mitt that dwarfed even Freddy's massive hands.
"Chongo!" Freddy said taking the proffered mitt and shaking it vigorously and kept shaking it. Joe gently disengaged from Freddy and cast a curious glance over his shoulder at Chongo. Chongo just shrugged. Joe opened the crated and Chongo was happy to find that they were lined with straw and blankets. No it wasn't first class but at least it wouldn't be too uncomfortable. He turned to help Joe get Freddy into the other crate in time to see Joe pick up the humungous chimp and cradle him like he was a little baby and place him gently into the crate. Freddy wrapped himself in a blanket and was asleep in a heartbeat with only a quiet "Chongo." and a yawn. Joe put the top on Freddy's crate as Chongo climbed into his.
"Please be careful," Chongo joked, "I've got all of my fragile valuables in here."
Joe grinned as he lowered the top of the crate. Chongo was wondering how Joe was going to get them out to the truck since he hadn''t brought a hand truck with him from the truck. Chongo got his answer as he felt his crate being picked up like so much groceries. He didn't have to guess that Freddy's crate was under Joe's other arm.

The ride over to Jakes was bumpy but otherwise uneventful and Chongo soon found himself sitting in Jakes office on the second floor of the gym.
"Enjoy the ride?" asked Jake.
"Yeah, definitely something no-one shold miss." replied Chongo, "you don't know how glad I am to be here though."
"I think I can guess", Jake said handing Chongo a cup of coffee. "The Kids have been telling me quite a few stories. You're lucky to be alive at this point."
"Don't I know it", said Chongo.
"At least you got a dance out of the deal," said Jake with a grin.
Chongo groaned, "ohhh...how did you hear about that?"
"Nevermind," Jake chuckled, "you probably won't have to worry about that anymore anyway."
"What do you mean?" Chongo asked.
" The Howlers got her marked for some reason," Jake replied, "the kids have been on about it all morning.
"Shit!" Chongo thought. Aloud he said "Jake, this shits' got to stop. I've lost some good friends, made some new enemies and I can't take much more of this.
"Well, you're safe here, relax."
"I can't", said Chongo, "I don't know why she danced with me, but I'm pretty sure that she's an innocent in this. I can't let her get rubbed out 'cause of me."
"Well I'm not sure how you're going to stop it, but if I can help just let me know." replied Jake.
"You've done more than enough, hell, you did more than enough years ago. If I'd had anyone else to turn to I wouldn't have dragged you into this." said Chongo.
"Hey, Chongo, you'll always be one of my boys," said Jake, "You've always got a home here."
"Thanks Jake, that's great to hear. I like to think I got it all handled. Its great to have somebody like you that I can trust when the crap hits the fan." Chongo always watched his language around Jake.
"I think you're forgetting somebody else," said Jake.
"Who? Freddy?" Chongo replied.
"No..., Drecker." Jake said.
Damn, I forgot to call him thought Chongo, but I gotta see to Freddy first anyway.
"What can you do for Freddy here?" asked Chongo.
Freddy was busily playing with an old speed bag in the corner.
"I have some boys that can take care of him." said Jake.
Jake opened the door to his office and called down the stairs.
"Hey! Mike, Peter, Davey, Micky! Get up here!" shouted Jake.
Four young monkeys wearing red shirts ran up the stairs and into Jakes office.
Chongo stared in disbelief.
"But they're just Monkees!" he said.
"You were expecting beatles perhaps?" replied Jake.

Subject: RE: Chongo Chimp, Primate Eye (story)
From: Amos
Date: 31 Dec 03 - 07:12 PM

(Big grin, Chief, even with the pun sauce!)

A

Subject: RE: Chongo Chimp, Primate Eye (story)
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Jan 04 - 03:08 PM

Laura awakened, stretched, and rolled out of bed, her lithe form looking like flowing water.

She went into the bathroom, did the necessary things to start the day, put on a pair of slacks, blouse, and sensible shoes.

Her mother was in the kitchen and silently handed her a cup of coffee. Mom made good coffee.

"Off to the place again?" the older woman asked.

"Yes," replied Laura, "and I can't tell you about it or even where I'm going."

"Honest work?" asked her mother.

"Yes."

"Damn, girl, when are you goin' learn?"

Laura ate some toast, finished the coffee, took her coat from the peg, and opened the front door. "I'm off. Don't wait up. And that Tommy gun isn't mine, so don't hock it or sell it. Got it?"

"I won't, and I won't. Have a good time at your...job." The pause was palpable.

"Bye."

She took the crosstown bus; no howlers were in evidence. That was good, because getting rid of the last night's bodies had been a messy business. Who would have believed, she thought, that they had so much blood in them?

She got off the bus on the corner across from the atheletic field. A man carrying a briefcase and a slightly bemused air, crossed the street with her.

"Good morning, Laura," he said.

"Oh, good morning, Doctor," she replied. "How's your wife?"

"Bueno...I mean, good, thanks. I forget sometimes," he apologized.

He knocked, and a thick wooden door opened. Inside was a helmeted military policeman. He studied both of them and holstered his .45.

"Good morning, Doctor, Laura. General Groves is in the conference room and asked to see both immediately when you arrived."

"Thank you."

They walked down a corridor, stopped at another heavy wooden door, knocked and entered. A general, in uniform, stood in one corner. Several white-coated men, obviously scientists, were talking.

The general strode over, hand out, saying, "Laura! Dr. Fermi! Good morning!"

Subject: RE: Chongo Chimp, Primate Eye (story)
From: Little Hawk
Date: 01 Jan 04 - 05:43 PM

Whatttt??? Hmm. Interesting notion. Looks like we've got alternate universes cooking along here side by side, and not missing a beat. What the hell, we'll sort it out when they make the movie, I guess. Gotta get some chimp for the Chongo part, but not that idiot that plays Cheetah in the Weismuller flicks. He's too small and has no gravity whatsoever. Oh...well, Mr Chongo just tapped me on the shoulder. He's always wanted to be in pictures.

* * * *

Fat Freddy was turning out to be a good sparring partner for the boys at the gym. His brain might be 98% nonfunctional, but he knew how to box. Chongo was standing around with Jake and the others, watching him go nip and tuck with a big gorilla named Alfie when Drecker came in the side door, looking exactly like he always did...casual as a loaded .44 on a marble desktop.

"Hey," said Chongo. "Good to see ya. How's business?"

"Busy," replied Drecker. "Too busy." He shook a Camel loose, tapped it a couple of times and lit up. He was taking a good look at Fat Freddy, who had just uncorked a combination that put Alfie on the ropes. The gorilla recovered fast and they danced around to the other side of the ring.

"Somebody blew up your office," remarked Drecker. "We lost two officers in the explosion...Elroy and Mahovlich. Bad break, but they shoulda known better."

"Dammit to hell!" snarled Chongo. "That's why I didn't go back there. I am starting to get really mad now. Where am I gonna get another office? For that matter, where am I gonna get another telephone sculptured to look like Fay Wray?"

Drecker drew on his Camel thoughtfully. "Damned if I know. It's hard to find curiosity pieces that tasteless, even in Chicago." He winked at Chongo. "Where'd you get him?" he went on, nodding toward Fat Freddy.

"Nymbel found him talkin' to himself over at the Salvation Army Mission. His brain's been cooked by someone whose initials are "BDM". Do I gotta tell you who that is?"

"Nope." said Drecker. "I know who it is. I'm an authority on lousy music and mobsters."

"So...got any ideas?" asked Chongo. There was a burst of applause from the apes around the ring as Freddy nailed Alfie with a right that laid him out flat on the canvas. "Chongo", said Freddy, looking around blandly, and accepting a drink of water.

"Let's have a talk in Jake's office," suggested Drecker. "I need a coffee anyway, and it's too noisy out here. Is he secure?" He nodded toward Fat Freddy.

"Yeah," said Chongo. "He's a getaway car with no steering wheel. He ain't goin' nowhere."

Jake's office wasn't all that clean, but it was simple and functional. There was a framed picture of the King on the wall, atop the Empire State Building. He was gazing off into the distance at four little toylike airplanes with the sun glinting off their wings as they banked and turned. There was blood seaping out of his chest in little drops, defiance and tragedy in his eyes. He looked unbearably lonely. The title said "Last Dance in Manhattan".

"How did you get into this?" inquired Drecker, examining his fingernails like he thought they might hide some vital piece of information. That's how they do it in the movies, and you gotta keep up with the styles.

Chongo told him everything he knew, even the part about Laura, and Drecker just sat and listened, and grunted now and then.

"Uh-huh. Word is that there's a bunch of hot diamonds in town. Enough to buy up half the waterfront. Your mister Lenny Frizzell must've tried to move 'em for someone. Maybe he figured it was his one big break. Maybe he didn't have much time to think about it. This Laura dame, I don't know her. Nada. Except for this. Some howlers are out to kill her. I'm lookin' into it. Big Daddy Malone? We can't touch him...at the moment...but he'll make a mistake. They always do. And when he does I will personally make him eat his saxophone. We got enough trouble in this town without some damned orangutan with a Napoleon complex takin' over."

Outside in the gym Fat Freddy had had a rest and was ready for more. "You're good," said Jake. "Very good. You wanna try Joe Young?" "Chongo?" said Fat Freddy. "That's what I thought," said Jake. "Joe, put on the gloves." The huge ape stepped forward quietly and got ready. He towered over Freddy, but Freddy didn't look worried in the least.

Chongo was idly checking the chamber in his .357, spinning it round and round. "There's more to it than the diamonds, Drecker. I know there is. There's bananas at stake. I mean big bananas. Bigger than that car you drive."

"Yeah? You may be right. I never seen simian activity in Chicago like this before, and I know what apes will do for fresh bananas on the off season..."

Fat Freddy didn't know it, but he was sparring with the Mighty Joe Young, biggest ape in the 48 states, and one of the fastest. Freddy did pretty well. He held his own until the dying seconds of the first round, when Joe got through his defenses with a left jab and then landed a thundering right that lifted Fat Freddy right over the ropes like Jack Dempsey and deposited him in a hairy, tangled heap on the floor.

"Whoa!" said Jake. "That'll do, Joe. This boy has earned a rest. Take off his gloves, fellas, and pour some cold water on him."

It took a minute or two for Fat Freddy to come to...and in that minute or two something happened in his shellshocked brain. The derailed freight train that was Freddy's past memory and identity somehow rearranged itself on the tracks with every car in place from the engine to the baggage car to the little red caboose with the three Oakie brakemen playing cards in the rear and dodging work. His eyes opened slowly and looked around, and he remembered everything. He remembered Big Daddy Malone. He remembered Nymbel's apartment. He even remembered seeing Drecker and Chongo go into the office a couple of minutes ago, and he remembered that he no longer had his gun. He looked around, trying to make it seem vague, and gestured in the general direction of the washrooms...

"Chongo?" Freddy was no dummy.

"Oh, you gotta go?" said Jake. "Sure thing. Bert, take him to the washroom."

Bert was a dun-coloured chimp from uptown who could box pretty well. He took Fat Freddy's paw and led him down the hall.

There were two apes standing in the hall, on security. They were packing pistols in shoulder holsters. Freddy watched them from under half-closed lids, letting Bert lead him. He went in and used the washroom. No window. Brick walls. Okay. He came back out, walked over to the security boys and said "Chongo?"

They laughed. "He's three aces short of a deck." "Yeah, but he can box."

Fat Freddy held out his hands, palms up. "Chongo..." he said, apologetically.

"Hey, look at that. You see that tattoo..." The two guards bent to look at Freddy's palm, and faster than thought he banged their heads together with a vicious crack, plucked their pistols from their holsters and hammered them both to the floor.

Bert gasped, and took a .44 slug between the eyes before he could even screech. He went down like a lead anchor.

The report of the gun echoed hollowly through the gym, and everybody froze for an instant, then pandemonium as screeching apes yelling "Kree-gah!!!" scattered in all directions.

"Shit!" spat Drecker, and he kicked open the office door, pulling his .45 out in the same motion, but keeping well to the side. Chongo dove for the floor and had his own gun out as he slid across in front of the door for an instant. He saw Fat Freddy standing in the hallway, forty feet away and Freddy saw him. They both fired. Fat Freddy ducked and felt one bullet pass by his ear and another pluck at his shoulder as he poured fire at Chongo, but the chimp was too quick. He just made a bunch of holes in the desk and the doorframe. And he had one loaded gun left now. Drecker's .45 boomed and made a nice hole in the wall right in line with where Freddy's head had been a second ago. "________ YOU CHONGO!!!" screamed Fat Freddy, and he dove straight through the second story windows in a shower of glass punctuated by two more .45 slugs from Drecker's gat and a hail of gunfire from Jake and the boys at the gym, who were all screaming "BUNDOLO!" at the top of their lungs. They woulda loved that scene in Hollywood.

Freddy bounced off the top of a parked car as a woman screamed, scrambled to his feet and leaping onto the running board of a passing Buick, which screeched to a halt. He waved his gun at the driver, a guy in a maroon suit. "Get the _______ out!" he yelled, and the man ejected the vehicle so fast that he hit the pavement running like a scared deer and ran right into the side of a moving bakery van. Freddy leaped in and ground the gears, and took off like a jackrabbit having the French fits. Drecker and Chongo had time to put two or three slugs in the back of the Buick, and then it was gone. Heading north.

"I thought you said he was secure!" cursed Drecker.

"Hell, I thought he was." said Chongo regretfully. "He's been secure for a coupla days or more. I must be the biggest sap in town. We gotta warn Nymbel!"

"I'm on the way," said Drecker, pulling out his car keys. "You wanta ride?"

"Thanks," said Chongo, "but I'll go by the grapevine. Might be faster. See ya there."

He clambered straight out a handy window and up the wall to the roof, ran across it, leaped to the next building and on to the next, rooftop by rooftop. Nymbels apartment was 14 blocks away. Below him he caught a glimpse of Drecker's Caddy cutting through the traffic like a big, shiny, yellow shark. It was heavy traffic. He would get there before Drecker.

* * * *

Subject: RE: Chongo Chimp, Primate Eye (story)
From: Amos
Date: 01 Jan 04 - 09:19 PM

BeeeYEAUTiful, LH!! Go, cat...go!!


A

Subject: RE: Chongo Chimp, Primate Eye (story)
From: GUEST,CHief Chaos
Date: 02 Jan 04 - 06:32 PM

Damnit Damnit damnit!

There goes my next installment again!

Oh well, can't be helped. Be back in an hour or so.

Subject: RE: Chongo Chimp, Primate Eye (story)
From: GUEST
Date: 02 Jan 04 - 08:23 PM

Chongo literally flew through the air on the rooftops questions flew through his mind. Why the hell didn't I see this coming? When did I get so blind? Hell I was really starting to like that bum. I guess what I heard was true about Fat Freddy. Huge on the outside with a tiny mind. Didn't he know it would have been better to stay silent and act the idiot? He could have taken out everyone and we would have all been standing there with our jaws on the floor when he did it. Why'd he have to cap those two guards? He could have just wandered out and we'd have thought he'd just gone missing. Now I gotta stop him before he gets Nymbel.

Chongo landed on top of Nymbels apartment a few minutes later and quietly stole down the fire escape quieter than any cat. He checked his thirty eight and took a peep into the room, quick like so as not to attract attention. Freddy was no-where in sight. Nybel was there in the room reading his paper, his back toward the window. Chongo tried to get his attention with gentle raps but Nymbel was enratptured in whatever story he was reading. Probably that scandal down at city hall with the mayors aid Bonzo.

Chongo let himself in through the window and started toward Nymbel.
"Hey Nymbel, get your bag packed, we need to get outta here pronto!
It was then he noticed the gag in nymbels mouth, the ropes tying his wrists to the chair, and the tears and fright in Nymbels eyes. It was also about then that Chongo noticed the barrel of a thirty eight revolver pressed to the back of his skull. Shit!

"Okay Chongo, drop ya piece like a good chimp," Freddy said, "and you can keep your mouth shut. I ain't needin no sarcasm."
Chongo's heart felt like the lead in his bullets as his gat hit the carpet.
"Okay Freddy, it's your move," he said as he turned slowly to face him.
"What are you gonna do with us?" Chongo asked.
"Da boss says you been too nosy, your messin' t'ings up for us, I been sent ta iron t'ings out and your just anudda wrinkle right now." Freddy said, waving his pistol at Chongo.
"That's the most I've ever heard you say at one time," said Chongo.
'Yeah, I owe Big Daddy big time for dat. He's next on my liddle Christmas list.
Stall for time, thought Chongo, Drecker won't let you down.
"How'd that happen anyways?" Chongo asked as Freddy tied his hands down to the chair next to Nymbel.
"Dat damn bango an his singin'. Turns ya brain ta mush. An to tink I had his inits tatooed on ma knuckles too." Freddy said.
"So what now," Chongo asked, already fearing he knew the answer.
"Now I do ya, tanks fer takin care a me but ya know too much." Freddy said.

A screech of brakes and tires let Chongo know that Drecker had arrived. He came pounding up the steps two at a time and totally out of breath by the time he got to Nymbels door.
"Fat Freddy, this is Detective Drecker of the Chicago Police Department," Drecker said. Damn! No matter how many timed he said that it always sounded corny to his own ears.
"I know you're in there, so lets talk before somebody gets hurt."
Freddy fired twice into the wall where Drecker sounded like he was standing. He was rewarded with a groan and a thump out in the hallway. Freddy turned, grinning, just in time to be met by a flying mad Chongo and the remains of Nymbels chair.
"You killed him! You Son of a Bitch! You killed him! Chongo's face was livid with rage. His canines were bare and he didn't care anything about anything except to feel Freddy's blood flowing over his own face and Freddy's pulse tapering away beneath his fingers. Freddy managed to back away after a few punches and was shakily raising his gat to take Chongo down when the door came bursting open catching him straight on the back of the skull. Freddy went down like a sak of cement. Drecker emerged from behind the door, forty five ready for action. Chongo screamed. It took Chongo a minute and then he began laughing. "Damn it! I fell for it! Oldest trick in the book and I fell for it!" He howled.
"Don't feel so bad, " Drecker said, "it worked, he fell for it to."
"And what would you have done if he hadn't?" asked Chongo.
"I ain't got an answer. I've been running on instinct since we left Jakes. I don't even know if I managed to get here without crashing the caddy." Drecker replied, holstering the .45.
"The departments gonna hafta pay for some fruit stands though," he said.
Chongo grinned from ear to ear and began untying Nymbel.
"We better get Nymbel here to a hospital, he's pretty badly shaken-up," Chongo said, "what about Freddy?"
Freddy began stirring at the mention of his name. Drecker had the .45 out and leveled in an instant,
Freddy looked up and said "Chongo?"
"Yeah we've been through the introductions already Freddy, quit the act, you've been made," said Chongo.
"Chongo?" Freddy said with tears beginning in his eyes.
"I said knock it the hell off!" Chongo screamed at him, his own thrity eight trambling in his hand.
Tears began to fall from Freddy's eyes.
Drecker reached out with his foot and kicked Freddy's gun away from him.. Freddy didn't even seem to notice through his tears.
"I think you done him again Chongo, he ain't acting. Drecker said.
"Ah for the love of Chirst," Chongo said holstering his pistol.
"I guess you've got to take him in to the jail but how are we gonna see to it that he sees justice?" he asked.
"He'll probably end up in the asylum for the rest of his life." Drecker sighed.

They dropped Nymbel off at the hospital and headed back to Jakes to see how things were going there. Chongo left Freddy in the back seat of the Caddy with the top up and windows up. No sense in taking him in to confront what he'd previously done in his present condition. The folks in the gym weren't going to friendly too him too likely anyway.

Chongo and Drecker entered Jakes and began climbing the stairs to Jake's office. Odd but there didn't seem to be anybody in the gym. Well, it had been pretty traunatic for some of the younger kids. Perhaps Jake had had the older ones take them home or someplace nice to calm their nerves. Chongos hackles raised and he was at a loss to explain it. As Drecker opened the door to Jakes office Chongo began to question if they were doing the right thing, right in time to walk straight into Big Daddy's henchmen.

In an instant, both were disarmed and tied up. Chongo noticed with a start that the girl, Laura, was there as well.
"Nice to see you again Chongo," Big Daddy said, a malicsious grin spreading across his rubbery face, his jowls shaking loosely. "We picked her up on the way here after we found her nosing around the remains of your office." "Nice of her to be waiting for us like that, don't you think?" "Oh, and that nice gentlemen over there is the guy that got you into this in the first place."
Chongo looked over and saw Mr. Frizzel, pale and emaciated and needing a shave badly as tied up and helpless as the rest.
"Now I can wrap this all up nicely and get back to my diamonds." chuckled Big Daddy.
"You mugs can go now," Big Daddy said to his lieutenants, I can handle it from here and I don't think you want to share in this." As the Guerillas left Big Daddy pulled out his Bango and began tuning. I'll probably have to shoot the humans later, they don't seem to have quite the ear for music that we apes do, but there's no accounting for taste.

Chongo had been speechless until then but it dawned on him that he was in for a horrendous treat.
"Is that what you did to Freddy", he asked.
"Why yes, I daresay he enjoyed one of my earlier performances," Big Daddy said, "as I recall it left him mindless with ecstacy!" Big Daddy laughed at his own joke.
Chongo wanted to take the Bango and shove it down his throat. There wasn't anything funny about anything that had happened and he really hated people that laughed at their own jokes. He struggled but the bonds were too tight and Jakes furniture was solid metal. It had to be to hold the heavy weights that called on Jake.
Big Daddy said, "for my first number I'd like to play a little tune my own Daddy taught me years ago." He began playing something do discordant as to be unrecognizable. From the groans from Decker it seemed that somehow Drecker was suffering more than he was. "Of Course!, he thought, my tin ear, he doesn't know. Just then there was a creak at the door and in walked Freddy. "Chongo?" he said.
"Damn, I forgot to lock the doors! Chongo thought, out loud he yelled "get out of here Freddy!"
Freddy wandered in instead while Big Daddy stopped playing and turned toward him.
"You!" he scowled, "I thought I was done with you!"
As Fat Freddy caught sight of the Bango he stopped still in his tracks and began trembling in fear.
"No matter," said Big Daddy whipping out a derringer from his vest pocket, "this should finally do for you." Big Daddy pointed it point blank at Freddy and pulled the trigger. The room erupted with noise and the flash of the four ten shell. Freddy screamed as the blast took him in mid chest.   Chongo hung his head as Freddy slumped to the floor. Big Daddy got up from his perch and walked over to where Freddy lay and prodded him a couple of times. After he got no response he turned back towards Chongo.
"Now where was I?" Big Daddy asked.
"Oh Yes!, Second Verse...altogether now"
Chongo began cursing using every invective he knew and even inventing a few as he went along.
"Now, now, no sense bringing my poor belated mother into this," Big Daddy said, "it won't save you anyhow." But Chongo kept it up, nearly drowning out Big Daddy's Bango and his hideous ballad.
"I said knock it off!" yelled Big Daddy.
Big Daddy was so distracted by Chongo's continuing diatribe that he failed to notice Freddy's huge hairy paw reaching for him. With his last breath Freddy wrenched the bango from Big Daddy's hands and brought it down on his skull with a sickening crash of bone, metal, wood, and breaking strings. "Chongo!" Freddy whispered as he lay back down, his fingers falling limply to his side, the remains of the bango jangling from his paw.

Subject: RE: Chongo Chimp, Primate Eye (story)
From: Amos
Date: 02 Jan 04 - 10:30 PM

(Nice plot twist, Guest!)

Subject: RE: Chongo Chimp, Primate Eye (story)
From: GUEST,Chief Chaos
Date: 03 Jan 04 - 12:38 AM

Sorry, that was me. I know its not my story to begin with but I can't help wanting to engineer a good ending. I keep having to write around what has already been contributed. My apologies to Little Hawk, I had to undo or I was undone. I think we still have a few loose threads like Kreechak and the rest of the East Side Gorillas.

Subject: RE: Chongo Chimp, Primate Eye (story)
From: GUEST,Chief Chaos
Date: 03 Jan 04 - 12:43 AM

By the by,
How many of you 'cats are actually reading all of this?
PM me, I need to know what you think of my work.

Subject: RE: Chongo Chimp, Primate Eye (story)
From: Little Hawk
Date: 03 Jan 04 - 01:09 AM

"Thank God," said Drecker, through grated teeth. "That was the worst goddam music I've ever had to suffer through, and I've heard some ugly birds sing in my time." He struggled with his bonds, but it did about as much good as trying to open a safe with a feather boa. Chongo was in a similar predicament. His feet were partly free, but all he could do was wave them around helplessly.

"Hey, shamus..." It was Laura speaking, cool as always. "If I kick my purse over there, you think you could get in it?"

Chongo took a quick look. "Yeah, I figure so. What's in there?"

"A couple of things that might help," she replied, and she hooked the handle of the purse with the toe of one shoe, and dragged it closer, got the shoe underneath, and lofted the purse within a few inches of Chongo's left foot.

He caught it neatly out of the air as only a primate can, got his other foot in play and snapped it open. There was a lot of stuff in that purse. The usual stuff. He'd seen plenty of women's purses, and it was pretty much always the same. Amazing what they could cram inside a few square inches of leather.

"No gun," he said. "That surprises me."

"Oh, there was one," she said, "but Big Daddy's gorillas took it. They left the rest, though. Just girl stuff. You know..."

"And there's a lighter," he said, with great satisfaction.

"Exactly," smiled Laura.

Chongo crisply cracked open the lighter with his right foot. It was a nice chrome one with a good feel to it. He struck a light and held it directly under the nearest taut rope he could find, producing some smoke and a very acrid smell as the rope burned. It was weakening fast. A sharp tug with his right leg and the rope gave way. That gave him more room to work. Two more ropes went and he got an arm loose. The rest was simple.

Chongo moved immediately over to Drecker and freed him, then Laura, and finally Lenny, who looked just about ready to keel over from total nervous exhaustion.

"I been lookin' for you, pal," he said to Lenny, who blanched. "No, not what yer thinkin'. I'm a primate dick. Chongo Chimp. I was hired by your wife Betty a few days ago to find you. Ever since then it's been feeding time at the zoo...in the lion cage. I'd really like to know why. Maybe you could tell me."

"And I'd like to know who the lady is," said Drecker, who was busy gathering up all the firepower he could find on and around Big Daddy. "What's your tale, sister? I know you ain't just interested in befriending chimps with blown-up cars."

"Let's keep it simple," she said, and reached into her purse. She unzipped a little compartment and took out a card, and handed it to Drecker. Chongo saw a flicker of surprise cross his eyes for just a moment. He looked at the card like he was trying to X-ray it, then looked at Laura the same way for a long moment.

"I see. This real?"

"Uh-huh." Laura nodded. "As real as the sweat on your hatband."

"That real?" grinned Drecker, smiling with his mouth, but not necessarily his eyes.

"At least that real," replied Laura, smiling back the same way.

"I could always phone the General and ask him."

"Why don't you then?"

"Well, maybe I will," said Drecker. "But first I'm phoning for some backup."

"Good idea," said Laura, and she lit up a gold-tipped cigarette nonchalantly. Drecker looked at it hungrily...or maybe at her...or maybe at both, it was hard to tell. Then he walked over to the nearest phone and started dialing.

Chongo felt oddly jealous. He didn't particularly like all this cracking wise between Drecker and the lady. Drecker could be a slick charmer when he wanted to. Hell, what was Chongo thinking about? She was human and so was Drecker, but Drecker was happily married, and...aw for heaven's sake! He must be losing his professional grip entirely to be thinking about stuff like this at such a time. Meanwhile, Lenny spilled what he knew. It wasn't much, but it tied in the baboons and the diamonds and a big shipment of bananas.

It took only 30 seconds for the sirens to be audible, and in less than two minutes the place was absolutely full of Chicago's Finest, heavily armed. It was crawling coppers.

Five minutes after that the meat wagon arrived, and they took out Fat Freddy on a stretcher. It took four men to carry it. He was a sad sight with that hole in his chest, and deader than a brass cucumber, but not yet quite as cold.

As for Big Daddy, he was coming around. Not dead yet. It seemed kind of a shame. Chongo never had liked Orangutans much.

When Big Daddy focused his eyes properly he found himself staring into a surprising number of gun barrels, and his wrists and ankles were both cuffed, size extra large. The buttons were taking no chances.

"My banjo!" he howled, lurching in the direction of the shattered instrument. He was pulled up short by several sets of hard unsympathetic hands.

He glared balefully at Chongo. "You! You stinking little shinbone of a chimp. How come your brain is still working? I played 'Blue Tail Fly' and you didn't beg for mercy. I played 'I Met Her In Venezuela' and you didn't even flinch. Are you just too stupid to listen or don't your ears work right?"

Chongo walked over. "Let me tell ya somethin', Malone. I've heard a lotta music, good and bad. I've heard cheap lounge musicians in dirty dives. I've heard alley cats fightin' inside empty trash cans. I've heard drunken fools yellin' obscenities in the street at 3 AM. I've heard the death screech of a macaque goin' down in deep water with cement boots on. I've heard things that polite, sensitive apes don't wanna talk about or even admit to, not to their wife or their lawyer or their priest or their doctor or their best friend...but I have NEVER heard anything as bad as what you played tonight and called "music". You could charm the smell off a dead skunk and bottle it with that stuff. You could gut an eel in 5 seconds without getting your hands wet. You could strip the spines off a cactus. You call yourself a musician? Don't make me laugh. You're not a musician. You're not even what I would call some kinda natural disaster. You're a freak. You oughta get a job in the circus."

Big Daddy drew in a gasping breath and bared his fangs hideously. His eyes bulged with unspeakable malice. "I'll kill you for that," he hissed.

"I wish you luck trying," sneered Chongo.

"Take him downtown," snapped Drecker. "In a locked armoured car. With tommy guns at the ready on every side. Anybody looks sideways at you, shoot to kill. We got some diamonds and some bananas to track down, and this ugly mug might just tell us where they are while he plea bargains his way into less than 80 years in the can."

"Matter of fact," he continued, "I think we better all go downtown for a bit. Anybody got objections?"

"I want to see my wife," said Lenny Frizzell. He looked miserable, yet relieved.

"You will," said Drecker. "I'm gonna call her right now, and get someone to bring her down too. Let's go."

Chongo and Laura got in Drecker's car and Lenny followed up in a patrol car. A regular convoy. Chongo had not seen this much heat on the street in Chicago in a long time. They were taking no chances.

"Looks like I earned my $300," said Chongo ruefully, "cos there is Mr Lenny Frizzell, safe and sound...but I hate to think of the expense account this time. I don't imagine they can afford it."

It was a lousy way to make a living, but it beat washing dishes or shaving stiffs, and the company was way more entertaining.

Editor's note: Well, this story could sort of end here...or it could go on and on and on...but maybe we all need a rest for a bit. Whattya think, guys?

Historical note: Big Daddy Malone got released in a relatively short time through complexities of the law that are beyond the scope of this story, and underwent a body shave, a facelift, and a deliberate change of identity, resurfacing as the well-known folksinger Burl Ives. He pursued an active musical career into the 1990's. What happened to the original Burl Ives is unknown, but it was probably not good. The ambitions of the Miami ape mob were frustrated and they pulled in their horns and went back to Miami. Lenny and Betty Frizzell moved to Dayton, Ohio and lived quietly without further incident. The North Side (or whatever side) gorillas and the baboons got in a huge firefight with each other and the Chicago police and the feds over a freighter full of bananas down at the docks. 50 million contraband bananas were siezed by the Port Authority, and quickly donated to poor apes and monkeys in the metropolitan area. This resulted in a big party for the simian contingent in town. Most of the diamonds were recovered, but seven went missing. Miss Laura M was transferred to a new job of some sort in Spanish Morocco. Just before she left, she had dinner with Chongo in a very ritzy place and asked him what it would cost to replace his office and the other stuff that had been destroyed in the Frizzell job. He said about $5000, he figured. Three weeks later he got a letter with a $7,000 bank draft in it from Spanish Morroco. That and a card. It said, "Thanks for the dance. 'L'"

Subject: RE: Chongo Chimp, Primate Eye (story)
From: Amos
Date: 03 Jan 04 - 10:37 AM

Sigh.....

Subject: RE: Chongo Chimp, Primate Eye (story)
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Jan 04 - 10:48 AM

Can't PM guests, Chief. Sorry.

Subject: RE: Chongo Chimp, Primate Eye (story)
From: Chief Chaos
Date: 03 Jan 04 - 02:24 PM

You can from this post or any of the older ones. I'm between computers right now so I don't always write from the one that recognizes me.

I guess to end this story right...


Chongo sat in the new dive he had found. It was a little before closing time and the weather outside was foggy. Rather unusual for Chicago but quite appropriate to how Chongo was feeling.
The place was not too glitzy and a little less of the criminal element hanging about. He thought eventually it would become a second home to him. The bartender new all of his old favorites and he was experimenting with some new ones. Chongo looked into his nearly empty glass and thought,"Of all the gin joints in all the world she had to walk into mine." Chongo sighed and looked across the empty tables at the piano player Louis tinkling the keys. He raised his glass to Louis who returned a wink and a broad smile and then slowly shook his head. Under his breath Chongo said "Play it again Sam."

Subject: RE: Chongo Chimp, Primate Eye (story)
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 03 Jan 04 - 02:35 PM

Yeah. Beats hell out of "Big Rock Candy Mountain". I may be tone deaf, but I know good mood music when I hear it. It tiptoes down your backbone like a siamese cat walkin' through a bunch of crystal wine glasses on a side table and not touching one of them on the way. Nice and light. Like stardust.

Subject: RE: Chongo Chimp, Primate Eye (story)
From: Charley Noble
Date: 03 Jan 04 - 03:59 PM

Nice stuff, lads, and the price was right!

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: Chongo Chimp, Primate Eye (story)
From: Amos
Date: 03 Jan 04 - 08:53 PM

Very well done, best buncha grins I've had all month!

A

Subject: RE: Chongo Chimp, Primate Eye (story)
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 04 Jan 04 - 02:49 PM

Nothin' like some good monkey buisness to bring in the new year. Great story folks! Great humor and collaboration. Thanks
Rustic

Subject: RE: Chongo Chimp, Primate Eye (story)
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Jan 04 - 08:35 AM

"... I've had all month!"

Geez, Amos, you could say the same thing about the year! 'S only five days old today!

Subject: RE: Chongo Chimp, Primate Eye (story)
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 05 Jan 04 - 09:14 AM

EXCELLENT!

BTW- gibbons (an ape) were native to Japan - and evidently so were some other apes...

Subject: RE: Chongo Chimp, Primate Eye (story)
From: Chief Chaos
Date: 05 Jan 04 - 10:16 AM

Ten Days and counting.....

Subject: RE: Chongo Chimp, Primate Eye (story)
From: Peace
Date: 05 Jan 04 - 10:47 AM

Little Hawk: Sorry I couldn't contribute to the thread. Next time. Was busy as a man with two rattlesnakes in one hole. Good story and a dynamite idea. Hope Santa was good to you. Have a great New Year. Bruce M

Subject: RE: Chongo Chimp, Primate Eye (story)
From: Amos
Date: 05 Jan 04 - 10:49 AM

Chief -- what happens on the fifteenth? Or are you counting from ten days ago?

A

Subject: RE: Chongo Chimp, Primate Eye (story)
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Jan 04 - 10:55 AM

Yup...ten days from today and counting....