.

Subject: RE: .
From: gnu
Date: 29 Jul 07 - 01:02 PM

What's that up, a head?

Subject: RE: .
From: JennyO
Date: 29 Jul 07 - 01:15 PM

That's what the headhunter said - I want to get a head of you!

Subject: RE: .
From: cookster
Date: 29 Jul 07 - 01:59 PM

Hah I'm a head of you.

Subject: RE: .
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 29 Jul 07 - 04:45 PM

A great thread started Brucie,
I read with all my might.
The only problem I see,
Is it's a load of.....


Can't think of anything to rhyme with might!!!

Subject: RE: .
From: autolycus
Date: 29 Jul 07 - 05:29 PM

orange.




      Ivor

Subject: RE: .
From: gnu
Date: 29 Jul 07 - 06:03 PM

Not blue enough. Try again.

Subject: RE: .
From: TheSnail
Date: 29 Jul 07 - 07:51 PM

Anthracite?

Subject: RE: .
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Jul 07 - 08:01 PM

No, peat.

Subject: RE: .
From: autolycus
Date: 30 Jul 07 - 03:34 AM

Somebody has to say - for peat's sake !!




    Ivor

Subject: RE: .
From: John Hardly
Date: 30 Jul 07 - 05:38 AM

I wish I were a Brit
I'd never again say "shit"
It sounds so erudite
when made to rhyme with "white"

And "fecking", so I've heard,
Is another British word
just oozing savoir-faire
To the backward Yankee ear.

Only the uncultured masses
Refer to "tits" and "asses"
The Queen sits on 'er "oss" so
that's the proper way to go.

oo oo oo I wanna be like You oo oo
I wanna walk like you, talk like you

Subject: RE: .
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Jul 07 - 09:09 AM

Okay, repeat after me:

Barkeep, gimme a bottle of rotgut whiskey.

Subject: RE: .
From: TheSnail
Date: 30 Jul 07 - 11:14 AM

Pint of best, please.

Subject: RE: .
From: HouseCat
Date: 30 Jul 07 - 11:20 AM

Said Pheobe Snow,
About to go
Upon the train to Buffalo,
"My gown stays white
From morn til night
Upon the road
Of Anthracite."

I was told in choir that since my mishap with the door that I am no longer a soprano but an al-toe.

Subject: RE: .
From: John Hardly
Date: 30 Jul 07 - 11:33 AM

"I was told in choir that since my mishap with the door that I am no longer a soprano but an al-toe."

hmmm. And I would have suggested quasi-no-toe.

Subject: RE: .
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Jul 07 - 12:18 PM

I had a plant once that was nearly a bonsai. It was a quasi-bonsai.

Subject: RE: .
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 30 Jul 07 - 03:58 PM

My mother wanted to call me Quasimodo but my dad took the hump!

Subject: RE: .
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Jul 07 - 04:13 PM

A quart of the best milk, two pounds of the best butter, four quarts of finely milled flour, and a piece of good chocolate the size of your head.

Subject: RE: .
From: Severn
Date: 30 Jul 07 - 04:32 PM

I had a hunch it was so, GS. And when the name Quasimodo rang a bell, I realized he was the half brother of Semimodo. Both of them kinda look like they'd been through the ringer, but if the bell laws are stricken and re-pealed, they'll be back to work before the time that they'd have to go through the changes. Just like they tolled us a thousand times before.

Subject: RE: .
From: cookster
Date: 30 Jul 07 - 05:40 PM

Rapire repeat after Me

       Nothin' for me.

Subject: RE: .
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Jul 07 - 09:44 AM

True, Severn, but they both met a clapper and it was "lights out" for the boys.

Subject: RE: .
From: gnu
Date: 31 Jul 07 - 10:32 AM

That's got a familiar ring to it.

Subject: RE: .
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 31 Jul 07 - 01:04 PM

I personally believe they dropped a clanger!

Subject: RE: .
From: John Hardly
Date: 31 Jul 07 - 01:11 PM

or doppled a ganger.

Does a doppleganger have a doppler effect?

Subject: RE: .
From: gnu
Date: 31 Jul 07 - 01:33 PM

Bang bang bang went the trollip.

Subject: RE: .
From: John Hardly
Date: 31 Jul 07 - 01:47 PM

Oh my, how I love to bear witness to the blooms of the lovely trollops in Springtime!

Subject: RE: .
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Jul 07 - 02:05 PM

I mounted and rode off at a trollop.

Subject: RE: .
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Jul 07 - 02:06 PM

I just HAD to get the news from the gents to the auks.

Subject: RE: .
From: Severn
Date: 31 Jul 07 - 03:43 PM

Auk-ward HO!

Tell me if you spot any of the Great Blue Bunyan's Auks, mature, or mere babes, anywhere this side of Auksfordshire.

I recently joined the Autobahn Society and all I got back was pictures of German highways with no birds in them at all that weren't flattened. Did I do something wrong? Can I get my money back so I can be a marked man again?

Subject: RE: .
From: gnu
Date: 31 Jul 07 - 03:49 PM

I saw a Mustang hit a Falcon... horseshit and feathers everywhere.

Yeah, I know.... I saw a Jeep hit a Pepsicost.

Subject: RE: .
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Jul 07 - 03:53 PM

I saw the shit hit the fan....

Subject: RE: .
From: John Hardly
Date: 31 Jul 07 - 04:02 PM

or, as the Brits would say...

I saw the shite hite the fan (with the al-you-mini-um blades).

Subject: RE: .
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 31 Jul 07 - 05:08 PM

Saw the poo hit the extractor? Saw the excreta hit the wind prop?
Saw the turd hit the roto-blaster?

Subject: RE: .
From: TheSnail
Date: 31 Jul 07 - 05:19 PM

Sorry John, but we usually say "shit", in fact we say it quite a lot. Now, if you can just learn to spell "arse" properly....

aluminium

Subject: RE: .
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Jul 07 - 05:26 PM

I even saw the aluminum pass the spell-checker.

Subject: RE: .
From: JennyO
Date: 31 Jul 07 - 09:45 PM

I saw a Jeep hit a Pepsicost.

Okay, I'll feed you your line.

What's a Pepsicost?

Subject: RE: .
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Jul 07 - 10:56 PM

Depends on the size. I generally pay about a buck for 3/4ths of a liter of Pepsi.

Subject: RE: .
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 01 Aug 07 - 03:35 AM

OK 'Pepsi'....cost...bit like the old 'Piecost' joke in the sixties....and the Greek Urn(earn) in the fifties. Just updating itself again...The old ones are the best!!

Subject: RE: .
From: TheSnail
Date: 01 Aug 07 - 05:29 AM

I must return to those shores.

Subject: RE: .
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 01 Aug 07 - 06:28 AM

Yeah Yeah...I'll do that one for ya....What shores?........
Like I said, the old ones are the best.
My wife's going to the West Indies!.......Jamaica?.......no she went of her own accord!
My dog's got no nose.....Well how does he smell?....Terrible!

Subject: RE: .
From: John Hardly
Date: 01 Aug 07 - 06:49 AM

"Boys…" Mr Wampler the troop leader addressed the young scouts that sat in a semi-circle at his feet, "…the easiest and most accurate way to tell the age of a guitar is to carefully count the growth rings apparent in the spruce top. If you'll notice, as with any wood, the top of the guitar will carry with it the exact age of the guitar by simply counting the stripes of grain…"

From the circle of boys a hand shyly rose

"Do you have a question, Jimmy?"

Jimmy nervously replied, "Um, yes, scout leader Wampler. Wouldn't it be easier to look at the serial number and check on the internet?"

"But, Jimmy, that isn't the boy scout way, now is it?" Mr Wampler sternly replied.

"But….." Jimmy began again.

"Jimmy, do you want your luthiery merit badge or not?"

Subject: RE: .
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Aug 07 - 09:20 AM

One of my favorite composers is Luthwig von Beathaven. He kept time like a metronome by smashing stringed instruments.

Subject: RE: .
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 01 Aug 07 - 10:36 AM

What's brown and steamy and lies on a piano stool?

Subject: RE: .
From: Stephen L. Rich
Date: 02 Aug 07 - 06:57 AM

Lies on or lies to?

Subject: RE: .
From: beardedbruce
Date: 02 Aug 07 - 06:58 AM

if pianos have stools, shouldn't they wear diapers?

Subject: RE: .
From: gnu
Date: 02 Aug 07 - 07:09 AM

This thread is in the toilet. If it stays there, I hope it does get flushed.

Subject: RE: .
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 02 Aug 07 - 10:07 AM

The answer to the serious question....LOL was Beethovens' last movement

Subject: RE: .
From: Severn
Date: 02 Aug 07 - 07:50 PM

As befits a man universally viewed as one of the currently great decomposers of our time. I don't think he's on anyone's Shit Liszt.

Subject: RE: .
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 03 Aug 07 - 03:18 AM

ROFLOL

Subject: RE: .
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 03 Aug 07 - 03:19 AM

Of course Beethoven has been dead these many years..I wonder if he is still de-composing?

Subject: RE: .
From: John Hardly
Date: 03 Mar 08 - 06:15 PM

won't this thread ever die?