Subject: RE: . From: Peace Date: 15 Jul 07 - 04:34 PM . . . and tulips on the organ. |
Subject: RE: . From: John MacKenzie Date: 15 Jul 07 - 04:38 PM Petals on a bicycle? |
Subject: RE: . From: Severn Date: 15 Jul 07 - 04:49 PM Impatiens in the waiting room? |
Subject: RE: . From: John MacKenzie Date: 15 Jul 07 - 05:05 PM Shhhh don't mention Busy Lizzie |
Subject: RE: . From: gnu Date: 15 Jul 07 - 05:58 PM What about Juicy Lucy and her trained gila monster? |
Subject: RE: . From: Rapparee Date: 15 Jul 07 - 06:10 PM At the zoo The great big zoo What a sight to see the little monkeys. |
Subject: RE: . From: Georgiansilver Date: 15 Jul 07 - 06:15 PM Lobsters on your piano..........well that's better than crabs on your organ isn't it? |
Subject: RE: . From: cookster Date: 15 Jul 07 - 06:50 PM No crawfish on your celesta is better. |
Subject: RE: . From: Severn Date: 15 Jul 07 - 07:01 PM As long as they remain somewhat crus-stationary. No shrimp on either your Barbie (or Ken dolls, either) though. Anything beyond your Ken is acceptable, I guess. |
Subject: RE: . From: cookster Date: 15 Jul 07 - 07:39 PM What you said. |
Subject: RE: . From: Rapparee Date: 15 Jul 07 - 08:22 PM Ken would fit in well with Bugs and Elmer. |
Subject: RE: . From: cookster Date: 15 Jul 07 - 08:33 PM What does that mean??? |
Subject: RE: . From: Rapparee Date: 15 Jul 07 - 09:03 PM 所有在連接。□什麼單獨站立。 |
Subject: RE: . From: Peace Date: 15 Jul 07 - 09:06 PM ÄúÄÜÔÙ˵ÄÇ¡£ |
Subject: RE: . From: Bill D Date: 15 Jul 07 - 09:07 PM 麼單獨有在 «ô¿ô» |
Subject: RE: . From: cookster Date: 15 Jul 07 - 09:21 PM 07734 look at it upside down. |
Subject: RE: . From: Rapparee Date: 15 Jul 07 - 09:26 PM 411 y0r 60><3r5 r 6310n9 2 u5, d00d. |
Subject: RE: . From: Bill D Date: 15 Jul 07 - 09:32 PM → ╠╦╦╦╗® |
Subject: RE: . From: Severn Date: 15 Jul 07 - 09:57 PM So which of you guys wants to do the crossword when I'm through with the comica section? |
Subject: RE: . From: Rapparee Date: 15 Jul 07 - 10:01 PM 1f u a1n7 l337 u a1n7 5h17. |
Subject: RE: . From: balladeer Date: 15 Jul 07 - 11:33 PM Edelweiss you greet you meet you look happy too |
Subject: RE: . From: cookster Date: 15 Jul 07 - 11:57 PM Havada cadabra!!!! |
Subject: RE: . From: Stephen L. Rich Date: 16 Jul 07 - 12:55 AM If a giant makes a mistake would it be fair to call that a "Fee, Fie, Faux Pas"? Stephen Lee |
Subject: RE: . From: Georgiansilver Date: 16 Jul 07 - 02:55 AM No Just a gargantuan error. |
Subject: RE: . From: John MacKenzie Date: 16 Jul 07 - 03:54 AM Have a cadaver |
Subject: RE: . From: Liz the Squeak Date: 16 Jul 07 - 04:36 AM Don't mind if I do, thanks! Burp. LTS |
Subject: RE: . From: The Fooles Troupe Date: 16 Jul 07 - 04:58 AM No thanks - I'm trying to give them up! |
Subject: RE: . From: Georgiansilver Date: 16 Jul 07 - 07:26 AM That joke corpsed didn't it! |
Subject: RE: . From: Rapparee Date: 16 Jul 07 - 09:07 AM I'd tell you some of the jokes of the tombstone-making and gravedigging trades, but you'd think I was a REAL sicko. Instead, I offer this touching poem: The Ballad of Blasphemous Bill Robert W. Service I took a contract to bury the body Of blasphemous Bill MacKie, Whenever, wherever or whatsoever The manner of death he die -- Whether he die in the light o' day Or under the peak-faced moon; In cabin or dance-hall, camp or dive, Mucklucks or patent shoon; On velvet tundra or virgin peak, By glacier, drift or draw; In muskeg hollow or canyon gloom, By avalanche, fang or claw; By battle, murder or sudden wealth, By pestilence, hooch or lead -- I swore on the Book I would follow and look Till I found my tombless dead. For Bill was a dainty kind of cuss, And his mind was mighty sot On a dinky patch with flowers and grass In a civilized bone-yard lot. And where he died or how he died, It didn't matter a damn So long as he had a grave with frills And a tombstone "epigram". So I promised him, and he paid the price In good cheechako coin (Which the same I blowed in that very night Down in the Tenderloin). Then I painted a three-foot slab of pine: "Here lies poor Bill MacKie", And I hung it up on my cabin wall And I waited for Bill to die. Years passed away, and at last one day Came a squaw with a story strange, Of a long-deserted line of traps 'Way back of the Bighorn range; Of a little hut by the great divide, And a white man stiff and still, Lying there by his lonesome self, And I figured it must be Bill. So I thought of the contract I'd made with him, And I took down from the shelf The swell black box with the silver plate He'd picked out for hisself; And I packed it full of grub and "hooch", And I slung it on the sleigh; Then I harnessed up my team of dogs And was off at dawn of day. You know what it's like in the Yukon wild When it's sixty-nine below; When the ice-worms wriggle their purple heads Through the crust of the pale blue snow; When the pine-trees crack like little guns In the silence of the wood, And the icicles hang down like tusks Under the parka hood; When the stove-pipe smoke breaks sudden off, And the sky is weirdly lit, And the careless feel of a bit of steel Burns like a red-hot spit; When the mercury is a frozen ball, And the frost-fiend stalks to kill -- Well, it was just like that that day when I Set out to look for Bill. Oh, the awful hush that seemed to crush Me down on every hand, As I blundered blind with a trail to find Through that blank and bitter land; Half dazed, half crazed in the winter wild, With its grim heart-breaking woes, And the ruthless strife for a grip on life That only the sourdough knows! North by the compass, North I pressed; River and peak and plain Passed like a dream I slept to lose And I waked to dream again. River and plain and mighty peak -- And who could stand unawed? As their summits blazed, he could stand undazed At the foot of the throne of God. North, aye, North, through a land accurst, Shunned by the scouring brutes, And all I heard was my own harsh word And the whine of the malamutes, Till at last I came to a cabin squat, Built in the side of a hill, And I burst in the door, and there on the floor, Frozen to death, lay Bill. Ice, white ice, like a winding-sheet, Sheathing each smoke-grimed wall; Ice on the stove-pipe, ice on the bed, Ice gleaming over all; Sparkling ice on the dead man's chest, Glittering ice in his hair, Ice on his fingers, ice in his heart, Ice in his glassy stare; Hard as a log and trussed like a frog, With his arms and legs outspread. I gazed at the coffin I'd brought for him, And I gazed at the gruesome dead, And at last I spoke: "Bill liked his joke; But still, goldarn his eyes, A man had ought to consider his mates In the way he goes and dies." Have you ever stood in an Arctic hut In the shadow of the Pole, With a little coffin six by three And a grief you can't control? Have you ever sat by a frozen corpse That looks at you with a grin, And that seems to say: "You may try all day, But you'll never jam me in"? I'm not a man of the quitting kind, But I never felt so blue As I sat there gazing at that stiff And studying what I'd do. Then I rose and I kicked off the husky dogs That were nosing round about, And I lit a roaring fire in the stove, And I started to thaw Bill out. Well, I thawed and thawed for thirteen days, But it didn't seem no good; His arms and legs stuck out like pegs, As if they was made of wood. Till at last I said: "It ain't no use -- He's froze too hard to thaw; He's obstinate, and he won't lie straight, So I guess I got to -- saw." So I sawed off poor Bill's arms and legs, And I laid him snug and straight In the little coffin he picked hisself, With the dinky silver plate; And I came nigh near to shedding a tear As I nailed him safely down; Then I stowed him away in my Yukon sleigh, And I started back to town. So I buried him as the contract was In a narrow grave and deep, And there he's waiting the Great Clean-up, When the Judgment sluice-heads sweep; And I smoke my pipe and I meditate In the light of the Midnight Sun, And sometimes I wonder if they was, The awful things I done. And as I sit and the parson talks, Expounding of the Law, I often think of poor old Bill -- And how hard he was to saw. |
Subject: RE: . From: beardedbruce Date: 16 Jul 07 - 09:12 AM NOW I know what they mean by a Service contract! |
Subject: RE: . From: cookster Date: 16 Jul 07 - 10:52 AM What they said!!! |
Subject: RE: . From: Georgiansilver Date: 16 Jul 07 - 11:04 AM Considering this thread is suposed to be about nothing...I reckon it is really something! |
Subject: RE: . From: Peace Date: 16 Jul 07 - 11:12 AM Ever notice how the strange threads draw the strange people to them? Not that that's in reference to anyone her. |
Subject: RE: . From: John Hardly Date: 16 Jul 07 - 11:17 AM "Not that that's in reference to anyone her." sexist pig. |
Subject: RE: . From: Peace Date: 16 Jul 07 - 11:18 AM LOLOLOL |
Subject: RE: . From: cookster Date: 16 Jul 07 - 11:22 AM OLOLOLO |
Subject: RE: . From: GUEST,Loooooooooooooong John Sliver Date: 16 Jul 07 - 11:57 AM Wahl, timber me shivers, if it ain't a motley crew! Avast and aroint, all hands aloft! Not since the Giant Squid took me leg off have I seem a more worthless set of landlubberly scupperswabbers! Batten the hatches, quick there! She's blowing a gale from leeward! More rum all around! |
Subject: RE: . From: beardedbruce Date: 16 Jul 07 - 11:59 AM A Loooooooooooooong Sliver? Ouch! |
Subject: RE: . From: Georgiansilver Date: 16 Jul 07 - 12:17 PM Do you really wear long johns? |
Subject: RE: . From: John MacKenzie Date: 16 Jul 07 - 12:20 PM Long John Saliva more like. G. |
Subject: RE: . From: John Hardly Date: 16 Jul 07 - 12:23 PM With multiple threads about triskaidekaphobia, many are still unaware of criscodeckaphobia. It's the fear that the cook will spill grease on deck and make it slippery. Like that line from "The Wreck Of The Edmund Fitgerald... When supper time came the old cook came on deck Saying fellows it's too rough to feed ya At 7PM a main hatchway caved in From the weight of many sailors on high-fat diets. (that was Lightfoot's first draft. That was before Gordon Lightfoot renamed himself "Gordon Lightfood" and started campaigning throughout Canada for better dietary practices.) |
Subject: RE: . From: John Hardly Date: 16 Jul 07 - 12:25 PM I suppose I should have posted that in the "Things You've learned on the mudcat" thread. Well, then again, maybe you guys will do so now that I told you. |
Subject: RE: . From: beardedbruce Date: 16 Jul 07 - 12:26 PM Is this the SAME sliver that posted thread.cfm?threadid=61140#981413 Back in '03? It sounds like it. |
Subject: RE: . From: Stephen L. Rich Date: 16 Jul 07 - 01:30 PM "sounds like it" Are we playing Charades now? Stephen Lee |
Subject: RE: . From: Rapparee Date: 16 Jul 07 - 01:33 PM Probably. From what I remember he/she/it is a ghost. |
Subject: RE: . From: cookster Date: 16 Jul 07 - 01:52 PM Depemds on who you're talking about. |
Subject: RE: . From: beardedbruce Date: 16 Jul 07 - 01:54 PM Why, GUEST,Loooooooooooooong John Sliver of course! Every 4 years he appears for a few days, then vanishes. |
Subject: RE: . From: Rapparee Date: 16 Jul 07 - 01:56 PM I think LJS has been around more than every four years. I think the number of "o"s in the name varies with the amount of rum taken on board. |
Subject: RE: . From: cookster Date: 16 Jul 07 - 02:00 PM 499 |
Subject: RE: . From: cookster Date: 16 Jul 07 - 02:01 PM 500 |
Share Thread: |