Help: Breasts, Again

Subject: RE: Help: Breasts, Again
From: wysiwyg
Date: 29 Oct 00 - 03:34 PM

mrmoejoerisen,

Your posts about your mom moved me so deeply I could not post about it until now. I just wanted you to know that the way you shared the news of her passing, with us, here, was one of the most powerful pieces of writing I have ever seen and I am sure has had a wide and deep effect on many.

I hope you will stay close to this community and keep including us in your thoughts, and I would love to see the poem.

God bless you,

Susan

Subject: RE: Help: Breasts, Again
From: wysiwyg
Date: 29 Oct 00 - 04:35 PM

Oh! I finally figured out your NAME!!

Mr. Moe Joe Risin'!!! (Mojo)

So is it Joe Moe?

~S~

Subject: RE: Help: Breasts, Again
From: Mikey joe
Date: 30 Oct 00 - 10:38 AM

Sorry to disagree with you Jill. The cure for cancer has not been found.

If there was a cure why would the medical profession not want you to know? millions and millions are spent on cancer research each year. Research does not make anyone money unless you develop a product and market it. No one emakes money by keeping a product a secret.

Also as a cancer researcher myself I can tell you that all cancer do NOT have the same cause. Ultraviolet light and and cigarettes are not the same thing and work in very different ways together and speerately to help cause cancer. Cancer is a very very complex disease. It is multi focal and has numerous causes.

If anyone wishes to purchase their medical products on the internet that is fair enough. Do so it is your right. But I would urge everyone not to put their health esp. in such a serious matter as cancer in the hands of a website.

Take care

Mj

If we do find a cure here Jill, I promise I won't keep it secret. I'll tell everyone. It would even make some people rich.

Subject: RE: Help: Breasts, Again
From: wysiwyg
Date: 30 Oct 00 - 10:47 AM

Just to remind everyone, this forum is not intended to replace in-person, professional assistance, be it medical, legal, or other sort. We are all responsible for taking good care of ourselves to the best of our ability.

~Susan

Subject: RE: Help: Breasts, Again
From: mrmoejoerisen
Date: 30 Oct 00 - 01:28 PM

First of all "Praise", I wish to plead the 5th. No secret just enjoy the anonymity of it but yes you are correct. Now on to the Poem; which I preface by saying this: This Poem is about Missed Opportunity,Adoption & last but certainly not least True Love & Foregiveness. "The Man With Eyes Like Mine" Somewhere on this vast place called Earth Lives A Man With Eyes Like Mine Although I was just a Babe When out the door he flew My Parents Chose Me As Thier Son There Love So Strong And True Though 38 Years Have Gone Past Since He Saw Me Last I Knew I could Not Take Comfort At The Bottom Of A Glass There Are No Hard Feelings About Those Days Gone By So I Hope And Pray Before My Final Days I Can Finally Meet "The Man With Eyes Like Mine" copyright 1996 Joseph A. Moe

Subject: RE: Help: Breasts, Again
From: p.j.
Date: 30 Oct 00 - 03:50 PM

I just got off the phone with my Mom, who informed me that my cousin Brenda (2 years younger than I am) lost her battle with breast cancer last week while I was in Toronto. When I hung up the phone I called my doctor and finally made the apppointment I had been putting off for my first mammogram. They can't see me until January, and somehow it seems a little scary to wait now, I want to get it out of the way. Anyway, I was glad to see this thread, and have happily supported the sites. What a nice mix of people and conversations the Mudcat is.

pj

Subject: RE: Help: Breasts, Again
From: mousethief
Date: 30 Oct 00 - 03:52 PM

PJ: so sorry to hear about your cousin! Congratulations on scheduling your first test. May it, and all subsequent ones, be negative (and correct)!

Alex
O..O
=o=

Subject: RE: Help: Breasts, Again
From: Bagpuss
Date: 31 Oct 00 - 04:25 AM

Peter - there isn't a thread on testicular cancer, because *you* didn't start one.

Breast cancer used to be something that you just didn't talk about - but campaigners have changed all that. And much for the better.

People don't talk about testicular cancer because men don't talk about their balls very easily. They delay going to see the doctor, so that it's not often caught early. Men aren't taught to do regular testicular examination. There needs to be a public awareness campaign about "men's" cancers. And it needs to come from men, or it won't work.

Testicular cancer is not as major a cause of death as breast cancer, but its just as important to those who get it.

Oh and by the way, men can get breast cancer too.

Bagpuss

Subject: RE: Help: Breasts, Again
From: KingBrilliant
Date: 01 Nov 00 - 03:24 AM

Such generalisation! Men can and do talk about their balls. They do go to see the doctor when they find something dodgy. And they do examine themselves, they (well at least some of them) fiddle with them all the time!! I can't see why people got so uptight about Peter's post - it was a valid question to ask. As Bagpuss says, testicular cancer is not as major a cause of death. I heard that about 20 years ago it would have been virtually a death sentence - fortunately it is now one of the most curable cancers (close to 100% cure rate?). So there must have been a huge research effort on how to cure that specific thing. So hurrah for the researchers & I'll go and have a click so that breasts can get lucky too.

Kris

Subject: RE: Help: Breasts, Again
From: mrmoejoerisen
Date: 09 Nov 00 - 10:14 PM

Just a friendly reminder Mudcatters to keep clicking on the Pink Ribbon at Yahoo Health. If it means $10,000.00 each time someone clicks on the ribbon we could easily be talking Million of Dollars by the Deadline of November 15th. I also realize that this Election has tried to put everyone in a tailspin however I for one will not be swayed by the Media. Lets not forget after all that Hillary won her race in New York with no apparent snafus like in Florida. I just didn't want to see this thred buried way back on November 1st and have everyone forget about the fight for a cure for this insidious disease. I know from personal expierience due to the recent loss of my mother to Breast Cancer God Rest Her Soul. LOL TNT Peace mrmoejoerisen

Subject: RE: Help: Breasts, Again
From: mrmoejoerisen
Date: 10 Nov 00 - 10:51 AM

Please Click Click Click & I'll keep posting to this thread until everyone remembers to CLICK!!! Thanks to all the catters who have and thosde that haven't please do click on the pink ribbon at Yahoo Health! Thanks mrmoejoerisen

Subject: RE: Help: Breasts, Again
From: rangeroger
Date: 14 Mar 01 - 11:20 PM

While the deadline for clicking on the pink ribbon has passed,I resurrected this thread in order to post the e-mail I received today under the subject;

For Women who've been there!

The Boob Poem

For years and years they told me,
Be careful of your breasts.
Don't ever squeeze or bruise them.
And give them monthly tests.

So I heeded all their warnings,
And protected them by law.
Guarded them very carefully,
And I always wore my bra.

After 30 years of astute care,
My gyno,Dr.Pruitt,
Said I should get a Mammogram.
"OK," I said,"let's do it."

"Stand up here real close" she said,
(She got my boob in line),
"And tell me when it hurts," she said,
"Ah yes! Right there,that's fine."

She stepped upon a pedal,
I could not believe my eyes!
A plastic plate came slamming down,
My hooter's in a vise!

My skin was stretched and mangled,
From underneath my chin.
My poor boob was being squashed,
To Swedish Pancake thin.

Excruciating pain I felt,
Within it's vise-like grip.
A prisoner in this vicious thing,
My poor defenseless tit!

"Take a deep breath" she said to me,
Who does she think she's kidding?!?
My chest is mashed in her machine,
And woozy I am getting.

"There,that's good," I heard her say,
(The room was slowly swaying.)
"Now,let's have a go at the other one."
Have mercy,I was praying.

It squeezed me from both up and down,
It squeezed me from both sides.
I'll bet SHE'S never had this done,
To HER tender little hide.

Next time that they make me do this,
I will request a blinfold.
I have no wish to see again,
My knockers getting steamrolled.

If I had no problem when I came in,
I surely have one now.
If there had been a cyst in there,
It would have gone "ker-pow!"

This machine was created by a man,
Of this, I have no doubt.
I'd like to stick his balls in there,
And see how THEY come out.

rr

Subject: RE: Help: Breasts, Again
From: wysiwyg
Date: 14 Mar 01 - 11:50 PM

!!!!!!!

Mine is TOMORROW!!!

We been making up new names... go ahead if you have one--

Slammogram...

Mammograb....

Whammoflab....

~S~

Subject: RE: Help: Breasts, Again
From: Hollowfox
Date: 15 Mar 01 - 09:52 AM

None of my mammograms has ever been uncomfortable. I Hope yours isn't either.

Subject: RE: Help: Breasts, Again
From: Sorcha
Date: 15 Mar 01 - 10:06 AM

Mine have never been painful, either, but I am not "well endowed". Just a note, if you go to the Hunger Site up at the top is a row of tabs--Rain Forest,Kids Aids, Child Survivor, Breast Cancer, and Land Mines. You can click on them all once a day........the Breast Cancer one helps provide mammograms for underpriviliged women.

Subject: RE: Help: Breasts, Again
From: Kim C
Date: 15 Mar 01 - 11:13 AM

Um, how do they give this test to gals like me who, like, don't have much to flatten out? I'm only 33 and haven't had one yet but I guess my time's a-comin.

Subject: RE: Help: Breasts, Again
From: mousethief
Date: 15 Mar 01 - 12:20 PM

You're 33 and you haven't had a breast yet?

Subject: RE: Help: Breasts, Again
From: wysiwyg
Date: 15 Mar 01 - 01:14 PM

Wrong day-- tomorrow. Always hurts. Kim, I'll ask for you. I'm gonna print the thread to take along!

Crammojam.

~S~

Subject: RE: Help: Breasts, Again
From: Kim C
Date: 15 Mar 01 - 01:15 PM

No silly, a mammograb.

Subject: RE: Help: Breasts, Again
From: mousethief
Date: 15 Mar 01 - 01:57 PM

is that a typo or a clever play on words?

Subject: RE: Help: Breasts, Again
From: Sorcha
Date: 15 Mar 01 - 01:59 PM

I can tell ya, sorta. They put the glass plate way back under your armpit, and you lean over the other plate. Then she starts squishing.....with small breasts not as much squishing is needed to get them as flat as possible. I can't imagine how badly it would hurt if a girl had serious mastitis.

Subject: RE: Help: Breasts, Again
From: mousethief
Date: 15 Mar 01 - 02:02 PM

I've heard that to prepare yourself for your first mammogram, you should go out in the garage, undress, flop your breast down on the cold concrete, and have your husband run over it with the car.

Sounds distinctly unpleasant.

with much sympathy and warm wishes for breast cancer victims and survivors,
Alex

Subject: RE: Help: Breasts, Again
From: catspaw49
Date: 15 Mar 01 - 02:23 PM

Maybe we need a thread explaining how to prepare yourself for various medical procedures. Gyno, prostate, mammogram.......and then a few others by those with experience.

Colonoscopy: Drink a gallon of water combined with 2 quarts of milk of magnesia, crap yorself to death, then insert 3 foot of garden hose up your kazoo.

You know, that sort of thing.............

Spaw

Subject: RE: Help: Breasts, Again
From: Kim C
Date: 15 Mar 01 - 02:37 PM

Susan came up with it, and some other clever alternative terms. :)

Subject: RE: Help: Breasts, Again
From: Matt_R
Date: 15 Mar 01 - 02:40 PM

Yep Spaw, I know allllllllll about it! When I got the upper endoscopy, they wouldn't let me eat or drink anything for 15 hrs. That was nasty. Not even water.

Subject: RE: Help: Breasts, Again
From: wysiwyg
Date: 15 Mar 01 - 02:50 PM

Well we should just let it be known that if anyone has a procedure coming up, they can come to the Mudcat and ask about it ahead of time.... maybe as a Guest. I'd love a chance to tell about the internally-performed pelvic ultrasound I just had. Kidding aside-- serious. It was like a miracle.

I guess just writing the above is one way of getting thee word out. It seems EVERYONE at Mudcat reads the Breast Threads. We could use the word in titles on other urgent material and be assured all would report for the news!

BREASTS: Baldness Cure Found

And so on. The best (breast) prefix for threads.

BS = Breast Stuff.

MammoCRAM. I'll make a sticker on the printer and paste it on the machine when the nice techie lady steps out of the room. Hahahahhh!!! Where the patient can see it, but not the tech! Now if I can just influence the PR people who advertise these...

And that buddy system, we ought to suggest it be renamed-- you know, where you go with a friend for the mammosmash-- Two Boobs Times Two.

A new PR campaign, Have You Squashed Your Boobies Today?

For the door, a sign, ABANDON HOPE ALL YE WHO ENTER HERE.

~S~

Subject: RE: Help: Breasts, Again
From: mousethief
Date: 15 Mar 01 - 03:19 PM

When my wife was working on her Master's Degree, she was doing it on writing medical how-to documents for people with lower or minimal reading skills.

She wrote something about a mammogram being painful, and the doctor who was helping her with her thesis said she shouldn't say that; people will be discouraged from coming in for the screening. He suggested she says it produces "some minor discomfort."

Her take was that if you lie to people, and say it produces "minor discomfort" and then they find out the truth (it hurts like hell), that they will be LESS likely to come back in for a second screening. She says, you should tell the patient, "it hurts like hell, but it can save your life so DO IT!" -- and you're going to get more people in more times for more mammograms.

Of course her thesis was not on breast screening, so she never had to test her hypothesis. I wonder what our Mudcat ladies think about it though? Which would make you more likely to commit to regular screenings?

curious in Seattle,
Alex

Subject: RE: Help: Breasts, Again
From: wysiwyg
Date: 15 Mar 01 - 03:51 PM

What would make me do it as often as I should would be my husband making a fun date out of the day, with the mammogram just one small part of a madcap romp trhough local stops, being as bad as we wanna be.

And feeding me chocolate the whole time we are at the hospital.

I want to be bribed.

~S~

Subject: RE: Help: Breasts, Again
From: Naemanson
Date: 15 Mar 01 - 03:55 PM

"...some minor discomfort...", "...you're going to feel a pinch...", "...this won't hurt...", "...you'll feel a little pull..."

These are some of the lies perpetrated on us by the medical community. Ya gotta love 'em.

Subject: RE: Help: Breasts, Again
From: Biskit
Date: 15 Mar 01 - 04:08 PM

Spaw, that was exactly how it went, the worse part was I was facing the tv screen,..and at first didn't realize what I was lookin' at! Somethings should FOREVER go unseen. Good luck praise, I know Missus Biskit hates those darn things, after reading the poem,..I now know why! -Biskit-

Subject: RE: Help: Breasts, Again
From: catspaw49
Date: 15 Mar 01 - 04:25 PM

Lemmee tell you what's worse Biskit........Having TWO in ONE day and having your wife get copies of all the color photos since she's a lab tech and has access!!! Also, during the second one, there were six students in various programs "observing."

Spaw

Subject: RE: Help: Breasts, Again
From: Kim C
Date: 15 Mar 01 - 04:29 PM

Personally I prefer to know what to expect ahead of time. I know tattoos hurt but I have three. I knew it was going to hurt before I got there and it didn't stop me.

I once had a bladder infection where they had to get the sample by sticking a glass tube straight into my bladder. (use your imagination.) The nurse said, this won't hurt. But when you put a tube into an opening which is only meant for things to Come Out of, it hurts! I would rather know it's going to hurt so I won't be surprised. If I get a nasty surprise, I get angry, and it's no fun.

Now, the funny part of this story is (and I might have told this on another thread in the past), it was Halloween and the nurse had on a long black witch wig and a tall black witch's hat. I swear I thought I was on Candid Camera.

Anyway I think it's important that people know what to expect ahead of time to prevent those ugly surprises.

Subject: RE: Help: Breasts, Again
From: mousethief
Date: 15 Mar 01 - 04:30 PM

I've had tubes of various lengths shoved in both directions, and it's all very unpleasant -- at least when they do the endoscopy, they have the courtesy to knock me out. I had to be awake for the colonoscopy. And they make you lay (lie? I can never do those two verbs) on a refrigerated stainless-steel slab with no clothes on while a lady (it's always a woman who has to shove the hose up my butt - why is that?) shoves a hose up my anterior, then tells me she sees the staples from my vasectomy. Geez, how degrading.

Subject: RE: Help: Breasts, Again
From: mousethief
Date: 15 Mar 01 - 04:30 PM

I meant she saw the staples on the x-ray machine, not IRL. Sorry about that.

Subject: RE: Help: Breasts, Again
From: wysiwyg
Date: 15 Mar 01 - 04:34 PM

Pore Irl.

~S~

Subject: RE: Help: Breasts, Again
From: Matt_R
Date: 15 Mar 01 - 05:19 PM

Alex...they didn't knock me out for either the endoscopy or the colonoscopy.

Subject: RE: Help: Breasts, Again
From: mousethief
Date: 15 Mar 01 - 05:22 PM

Everybody sing now:

I've had cameras up my butt
I've had cameras down my throat
And the one thing that I hope that it was true
Is that the camera up my butt
and the camera down my throat
Were two different ones, and not the same -- don't you?

Alex

Subject: RE: Help: Breasts, Again
From: Matt_R
Date: 15 Mar 01 - 05:27 PM

HAHAHAHHA!!!!

Now let's all do down to the malt shop and have some barium milkshakes!!!

Subject: RE: Help: Breasts, Again
From: mousethief
Date: 15 Mar 01 - 05:33 PM

Never again!

Subject: RE: Help: Breasts, Again
From: wysiwyg
Date: 15 Mar 01 - 05:58 PM

We have to think fast now. Just a few more posts to settle what to do about a Part Two, and what it should be about, since this has thread-crept and spelunked its way all over the hospital by now.

I propose we call it:

BS: Breasts, Balls, and Other Parts.

I propose it be the thread to discuss FUN medical procedures for a bit. Then we don't even need to call it part two, but can still leave a clicky here to it. And no clicky in the new one back to this one, so people don't go looking for the Click Boobs thing the first post advertises. Cuz I think that promo is over now.

OK?

But there are some folks who will not post in my threads, so someone else start it-- Matt? Just don't mention me.

~S~

Subject: RE: Help: Breasts, Again
From: mousethief
Date: 15 Mar 01 - 06:09 PM

Fun medical procedures.

That's like "Military intelligence," right?

Subject: RE: Help: Breasts, Again
From: Bill D
Date: 15 Mar 01 - 06:45 PM

I had a kidney stone once,,,they say it's the closest a man can come to experiencing childbirth...it HURT! It seems that women have more 'things that hurt' on a semi-regular basis. Even with prostate exams and sigmoidoscopies and kidney stones, I think I got the easier gender....

sorry it's such a pain, ladies...but DO take care of your selves...we love you.

(just remembered...a woman I know was telling about her new *female* OB/GYN, and allowed as how it took another woman to appreciate the sanity of heating the speculum in warm water before an exam)