Lyr Add: Elderly Person River

Subject: Lyr Add: Elderly Person River
From: GUEST,Wendy J
Date: 09 Jun 07 - 09:47 PM

I was crewing a boat up the Duwamish River in Seattle yesterday, and chatted with the Captain about my time on a ship in the Mississippi. I told how I would sing "Old Man River" while making my watch rounds, and then the conversation went into political correctness. This is the result.

^^ Elderly Person River

With apologies to Messrs. Kern and Hammerstein

by
Wendy Joseph
2007

        Elderly Person River
        You Elderly Person River
        You have cognition
        But are verbally challenged
        You merely continue
        Merely continue to transit

        You do not cultivate
        Tuberosum or gossypium
        And the cultivators
        Are deleted files-um
        But Elderly Person River
        You merely continue to transit

        You and I perspire and exert
        Corporal affliction, vibrating with discomfort
        Convey that vessel, elevate that merchandise
        Become inebriated and incarcerated

        I become fatigued
        And diseased from endeavoring
        Exhausted of existence
        And frightened of expiring
        But Elderly Person River
        You merely continue to transit


Original: "Old Man River," from SHOWBOAT (1927) by Jerome Kern and Oscar Hammerstein II

(Elongated intro:)
Here we all work 'long the Mississippi
Here we all work while the white folk play
Pullin' them boats from the dawn till sunset
Gettin' no rest till the judgment day

Don't look up and don't look down
Ya don't dast make the white boss frown
Bend your knees and bow your head
And pull that rope until you're dead

Let me go 'way from the Mississippi
Let me go 'way from the white man boss
Show me that stream called the River Jordan
That's the old stream that I long to cross
(End of intro)

Ol' Man River, that Ol' Man River
He must know somepin', but he don't say nothin'
He just keeps rollin', he keeps on rollin' along

He don't plant taters, and he don't plant cotton
And them what plants 'em is soon forgotten
But Ol' Man River, jest keeps rollin' along

You and me, we sweat and strain
Bodies all achin' and wracked with pain
Tote that barge and lift that bale
Ya get a little drunk and ya lands    in ja-ail

I gets weary and so sick of tryin'
I'm tired of livin', but I'm feared of dyin'
And Ol' Man River, he just keeps rollin' along

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Elderly Person River
From: Leadfingers
Date: 09 Jun 07 - 09:52 PM

Check out Stan Freberg ! He did this fifty years ago !!

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Elderly Person River
From: GUEST,Wendy J
Date: 09 Jun 07 - 10:05 PM

Checked him out. This could turn into PC research. Robeson objected to the original lyrics, as they contained the "n" word, and apparently Hammerstein changed them.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Elderly Person River
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 09 Jun 07 - 10:26 PM

Can we find the 'original' lyrics objected to?

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Elderly Person River
From: Willie-O
Date: 10 Jun 07 - 10:15 AM

I like "Senior River".

It flows better. Not that your version isn't wonderful, just that in my mind a correct--I mean, alternatively acceptable--number of syllables that fits the metre of the original song is an equally valid choice.

OK, I'll stop now.

Except to say...
About 10 or 15 years ago there was a huge controversy in Toronto the Good concerning some peoples' objections to a production of "Showboat" due to allegations that it stereotyped black people and made their past a spectator sport, or whatever. These folks formed "The Coalition To Stop Showboat", which struck me as the hugest waste of activist energy in the history of Toronto.   
One of them got the "Bonehead Media Comment" of the year when she suggested publically that shows offensive to black people are usually promoted by Jews. Way to stop racism in its tracks, lady!

"Showboat" went ahead, and ironically a few years later the promoter of the show, Garth Drabinsky, went to jail for massive show-biz financial fraud. But I don't believe presenting "Showboat" was part of the case against him...

If it was good enough for Paul Robeson (after he fixed the lyrics he didn't like), it's OK by me!

W-O

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Elderly Person River
From: Cool Beans
Date: 10 Jun 07 - 10:34 AM

The Stan Freberg version began:
Elderly Man River,
That Elderly Man River,
He must know something,
But he doesn't say anything...

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Elderly Person River
From: Leadfingers
Date: 10 Jun 07 - 10:45 AM

Perhaps I ought to dig out the recording and do a transcript . I Do remember that Stan starts with a Rebel Yell in honour of Mississippi Paddle Boat Paddle Wheel Week and is then interrupted by Mr Tweedly of the Citizens Radio Censor Bureau who is there to censor his Radio programme!

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Elderly Person River
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 10 Jun 07 - 09:53 PM

LF

The full text is readily available on the web in several places.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Elderly Person River
From: Genie
Date: 11 Jun 07 - 12:33 AM

Yes, Stan's version began with the censors objecting to lyrics like "Old man" (derogatory to the elderly), "He don't plant ... " (setting an example of bad grammar for the young), and "get a little drunk ..." (also setting a bad example for the kiddies) and ended up with such gems as

"Elderly man river, that elderly man river,
He mus' .. must know somethin' ... something,
But he don't ... er ... doesn't say nothin' ... er ... anything.
He jes' ... just keeps rollin' ... rolling, he keeps on rolling along.

He doesn't plant taters ... potatoes,
He doesn't plant cotten ... cotting,
And them ... those that plants ... plant them
Is... are ... soon forgotting ...

LOL

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Elderly Person River
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 11 Jun 07 - 12:53 AM

Actually, posting just the "sung" words rips the guts out of this classic masterpiece. It totally blows the brilliant timing and gags. It also destroys the enjoyment of the whole piece when you finally get to hear it, like 'spoiling' jokes by giving the punchlines in advance, or the ending of mystery novels or movies.

Which is why I didn't post "the words" in the first place. It really should be listened to. It also diminishes the piece, making it look like there are only two "verses", when the whole piece is about much more socially than just the sung words.

I note that there are 'complete pieces' of the item on the web in text form, but even that loses much.

It's really like someone asking "Where are all the jokes on Mudcat", when most of the best humour is contained in the middle of many otherwise serious threads, often as jokes only the educated in the various fields of music will appreciate.


Another rant from Robin
(Indignant Wordsmith!)

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Elderly Person River
From: Joe Offer
Date: 11 Jun 07 - 01:08 AM

There's a discussion of various versions of "Old Man River here (click).

-Joe Offer-

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Elderly Person River
From: mrdux
Date: 11 Jun 07 - 01:10 AM

here's the clip from the 1957 radio broadcast. click on "CBS Censor." it's very funny.