Auction BS: I'm selling my balls....

Subject: BS: I'm selling my balls....
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Jul 07 - 01:31 PM

For some reason, I can't get the auction to work, but...100% to the Mudcat.

Twenty-five (25) genuine, first-quality (these are NOT shags!), home-grown, organic golf balls. Assorted brands (Titleist, Nooble, Nike, Calloway and others). Locally harvested from my back yard, some with the dirt still on them (proves they're organic). Most are white or sorta white. Can be thrown at neighbors, used as sling ammunition, in art works, or even for playing golf.

Probably not worth shipping outside the US. I'll pay shipping.

---

Auction Thread (click)

Subject: RE: BS: I'm selling my balls....
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 Jul 07 - 01:35 PM

Hmmm.

They're used, right? I would expect a discount.

Subject: RE: BS: I'm selling my balls....
From: Ebbie
Date: 28 Jul 07 - 02:32 PM

Little Hawk, these are not 'used' balls. Rapaire has the latest gadget that beeps whenever it hovers over a high quality golf ball, not matter how deeply it's buried. Basicly, he is mining.

If Rap is not inclined to give you the address of his source for this highpowered dowser, pm me.

Subject: RE: BS: I'm selling my balls....
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 Jul 07 - 02:33 PM

Well, maybe. He says the dirt is still on them. I want them cleaned and sterilized before I consider buying. You never know where they've been.

Subject: RE: BS: I'm selling my balls....
From: Ebbie
Date: 28 Jul 07 - 03:23 PM

Humph Do you boil and sterilize mushrooms?

Subject: RE: BS: I'm selling my balls....
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 Jul 07 - 04:26 PM

No....it's just that I think Rapaire's balls would benefit from special treatment, that's all. Like a brief immersion in boiling oil. It only takes a few seconds to achieve sterilization in that manner.

Subject: RE: BS: I'm selling my balls....
From: Ebbie
Date: 28 Jul 07 - 04:29 PM

lol You got that right.

Subject: RE: BS: I'm selling my balls....
From: katlaughing
Date: 28 Jul 07 - 05:30 PM

I say we slice 'em and strip 'em nekkid and play Jacks with 'em!!

Subject: RE: BS: I'm selling my balls....
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 28 Jul 07 - 05:35 PM

There's a hole in one!

Subject: RE: BS: I'm selling my balls....
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 Jul 07 - 05:56 PM

We had a cat named Taffy who was a hell of a fighter. Absolutely deadly. He never lost. Not even to three dogs, on one occasion, and one of them was a rather mean German Shepherd. This, despite the fact that some inconsiderate vet had removed his family jewels while he was sedated...the vile animal abuser!

I imagine that Taffy, if ever questioned by another cat as to his lack of said fuzzy family jewels, would have replied...

"Sold 'em. To the highest bidder. Got $500,000 apiece at Sotheby's. What's it to ya, jerkface?"

Subject: RE: BS: I'm selling my balls....
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Jul 07 - 06:33 PM

The Sale ends at midnight on September 1.

Subject: RE: BS: I'm selling my balls....
From: catspaw49
Date: 28 Jul 07 - 08:00 PM

Outside of the obvious usage (and if you don't play golf) you might buy some for Hillbilly Horseshoes (Bolo Toss) which we have had a ton of fun with camping especially. Get yourself some PVC and saw it up. We made ours in about an hour.

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: I'm selling my balls....
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 Jul 07 - 08:26 PM

Perfect. Hey man, have you checked in on the Crazy Horse Monument webcam lately?

Subject: RE: BS: I'm selling my balls....
From: catspaw49
Date: 28 Jul 07 - 10:29 PM

Yeah.....The guy changed it awhile back and now you can't see the giftshop and parking so there really is NO action at all. I can't wait for winter to come and see some of those thrilling views as the snow flies up Crazy's nose................yeah, that'll be great man............

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: I'm selling my balls....
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 Jul 07 - 10:42 PM

Geez. Makes ya wonder, doesn't it?

I bet the sunsets are still beautiful, though.

Subject: RE: BS: I'm selling my balls....
From: Joe Offer
Date: 29 Jul 07 - 11:18 AM

Here's the Auction Thread (click)

I set this auction up for Rapaire because he was having technical problems. But now I'm wondering if this is a setup from Rapaire, tricking me into putting my name on the top of a "I'm Selling My Balls" auction.
-the Modest and Demure Joe Offer-

Subject: RE: Auction BS: I'm selling my balls....
From: catspaw49
Date: 29 Jul 07 - 11:56 AM

Actually, he's selling Crazy Horse's balls.........


Spaw

Subject: RE: Auction BS: I'm selling my balls....
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 Jul 07 - 11:59 AM

I just took a look. It's very sunny there today. Lots of rocks.

Subject: RE: Auction BS: I'm selling my balls....
From: JennyO
Date: 29 Jul 07 - 12:18 PM

Any balls?

Subject: RE: Auction BS: I'm selling my balls....
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 Jul 07 - 12:19 PM

I don't think so. But they don't have a "zoom" function, so I'm not sure.

Subject: RE: Auction BS: I'm selling my balls....
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Jul 07 - 05:47 PM

Nope, I really couldn't get it to work. Dunno why it didn't, but it didn't.

By the way, each ball has been bounce-tested by me personally and I warrant that they do, indeed, bounce.

Subject: RE: Auction BS: I'm selling my balls....
From: Deckman
Date: 29 Jul 07 - 08:59 PM

Which Septemeber first? Bob

Subject: RE: Auction BS: I'm selling my balls....
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Jul 07 - 09:05 PM

September 1, 2007. At midnight. After that my balls are no longer on sale until the next time.

Subject: RE: Auction BS: I'm selling my balls....
From: Deckman
Date: 29 Jul 07 - 09:13 PM

Which midnight ... there are several, you know! Bob

Subject: RE: Auction BS: I'm selling my balls....
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 29 Jul 07 - 09:35 PM

I've put in a bid. I reckon I can flog them off one at a time for a profit - there must be lots of people, guys and gals, who, for one reason or other would like to get their hands on at least one of Rapaire's balls....

Subject: RE: Auction BS: I'm selling my balls....
From: Deckman
Date: 29 Jul 07 - 10:00 PM

Words fail me ... and damned well they should!

Subject: RE: Auction BS: I'm selling my balls....
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 30 Jul 07 - 07:26 PM

Hey, what's this business about letting The Foolestroupe get stuck with a handful of Rapaire's balls?

Somebody else PLEASE put in a bid...

Subject: RE: Auction BS: I'm selling my balls....
From: Little Hawk
Date: 30 Jul 07 - 08:07 PM

"I warrant that they do, indeed, bounce."

How high?

Subject: RE: Auction BS: I'm selling my balls....
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 30 Jul 07 - 08:41 PM

Were you in the Marines, LH?

:-)

Subject: RE: Auction BS: I'm selling my balls....
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Jul 07 - 09:07 PM

Mid-chest height, actually, most of them. Sometimes you can watch me in the backyard, bouncing my balls off the concrete patio.

Subject: RE: Auction BS: I'm selling my balls....
From: Little Hawk
Date: 30 Jul 07 - 09:10 PM

And no one has complained???

Well, mid-chest is pretty good. I'll have to give this some serious thought.

Subject: RE: Auction BS: I'm selling my balls....
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 30 Jul 07 - 09:26 PM

ooooooooooooooooooooo......

Subject: RE: Auction BS: I'm selling my balls....
From: frogprince
Date: 31 Jul 07 - 12:15 AM

For four score and seven years, I scratched my balls, and rubbed my nuts;
Only to find out, too late, as I lay dying,
That I could have bounced my balls, and cracked my nuts.
( Written by a college roommate approx 40 years ago).

Subject: RE: Auction BS: I'm selling my balls....
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Aug 07 - 10:34 PM

HURRY HURRY HURRY! ONLY SIX (6) DAYS LEFT IN THE AUCTION! 100% to the Cat and I pay to ship my balls* AND a genuine BEAR MAT (marked by the grizzly!).

Get your bids in NOW on this never-to-repeated offer!









*I'm not using them.

Subject: RE: Auction BS: I'm selling my balls....
From: gnu
Date: 28 Aug 07 - 02:05 PM

HURRY HURRY HURRY! ONLY SIX (6) DAYS LEFT IN THE AUCTION! 100% to the Cat and he pays to ship his balls* AND a genuine BEAR MAT (marked by the grizzly!).

Get your bids in NOW on this never-to-repeated offer!


*He's not using them.

Subject: RE: Auction BS: I'm selling my balls....
From: gnu
Date: 30 Aug 07 - 06:59 AM

Only two full days left and the auction is really heating up with some frenzied bidding extending to three continents so far.

Subject: RE: Auction BS: I'm selling my balls....
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 30 Aug 07 - 08:51 AM

I'm just trying to help keep the ladies hands off yer balls mate....

Subject: RE: Auction BS: I'm selling my balls....
From: gnu
Date: 01 Sep 07 - 07:01 AM

The pace is frantic!

Subject: RE: Auction BS: I'm selling my balls....
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 01 Sep 07 - 07:33 AM

Help! Help! Help!
when the music finishes, I may be found with Rapaire's balls in my hands!!!!

Subject: RE: Auction BS: I'm selling my balls....
From: gnu
Date: 01 Sep 07 - 10:29 AM

Nope. Not gonna say it. Where's Spaw?

Subject: RE: Auction BS: I'm selling my balls....
From: gnu
Date: 01 Sep 07 - 03:34 PM

Oh come on!!! Jeepers creepers!!!! Hundreds of people per day use this site and only a SMALL percentage donate any coin at all!!! I personally know a lot of 'Cats that do donate and I gotta tell ya, a lot of us are PISSED that the rest of you sorry ass broke dick malamuccas (Spg Spaw?) can't pony up a few bucks to help Max out.

Maybe some of you could get together and put in a decent bid and then divide up Rap's balls? He ain't usin em. That there genuine Canuck bear mat is worth a lot more than a US sawbuck!!!

C'mon now... show me you ain't a bunch of pussy 'Cats.

Subject: RE: Auction BS: I'm selling my balls....
From: Little Hawk
Date: 01 Sep 07 - 04:35 PM

Still can't find a buyer, Rap?

Subject: RE: Auction BS: I'm selling my balls....
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 02 Sep 07 - 10:18 AM

Curses! Foiled Again!

Subject: RE: Auction BS: I'm selling my balls....
From: gnu
Date: 02 Sep 07 - 12:55 PM

Gotta be a pretty sharp blade to keep Carole fenced in. She's the epeetome of a shrewd bidder.

Subject: RE: Auction BS: I'm selling my balls....
From: SussexCarole
Date: 04 Sep 07 - 06:25 PM

OK Ladies - Rapaire's balls are in my clutches. Watch out I may share them!

Subject: RE: Auction BS: I'm selling my balls....
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 04 Sep 07 - 09:09 PM

ooooooooooooo

Subject: RE: Auction BS: I'm selling my balls....
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Sep 07 - 09:15 PM

(Singing)

My heart belongs to Daddy,
But my balls belong to her....

Subject: RE: Auction BS: I'm selling my balls....
From: Cluin
Date: 04 Sep 07 - 10:52 PM

Well, I'm GIVING my balls away.

Little by little. One squirt at a time.