BS: Sex with a bicycle illegal in Scotland

Subject: RE: BS: Sex with a bicycle illegal in Scotland
From: Mr Happy
Date: 16 Nov 07 - 05:59 AM

Was it a ' Mountin ' bike?

Subject: RE: BS: Sex with a bicycle illegal in Scotland
From: greg stephens
Date: 16 Nov 07 - 06:01 AM

I had to get some stuff out of a shed last night, and that involved getting a bike out of the way. I gave it the critical once over, but honestly...where would you start? It didn't seem remotely conducive to me. But then I'm not Scottish, they do things differently there.

Subject: RE: BS: Sex with a bicycle illegal in Scotland
From: GUEST,sparticus
Date: 16 Nov 07 - 06:06 AM

Was he practising safe sex? - Wearing clips and a helmet?

Were any lubricants used - 3in1, to get the poor bike well oiled beforehand?

Was he sincere in his love for the bicycle or was he just arsing around?

I wonder has he tried three in a bikeshed with a tandem?

Subject: RE: BS: Sex with a bicycle illegal in Scotland
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 16 Nov 07 - 06:08 AM

Tandems are horrible... you never know who is doing the steering and who is doing the leg work... and the one on the back has the worst view!

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Sex with a bicycle illegal in Scotland
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 16 Nov 07 - 06:10 AM

Ah Fibs, were it not for an accident regarding our relative dates of birth.
What an unkind thing to say about my friend Tabula Gruntfuttock anyway!
G.

Subject: RE: BS: Sex with a bicycle illegal in Scotland
From: Jean(eanjay)
Date: 16 Nov 07 - 06:40 AM

was placed on the sex offenders' register after admitting a sexual breach of the peace.

He was in the privacy of his own hotel room - I'm sure a lot worse has gone on in those rooms than that!

If the cleaners were offended it was still no reason to put him on the sex offenders' register - they did walk in on him and his reaction may have only been the result of embarrassed surprise at other people seeing him in that situation.

Years ago women in factories using pedal sewing machines using to have orgasms when using the sewing machines. If one of them had wiggled a bit would they have been charged?

Subject: RE: BS: Sex with a bicycle illegal in Scotland
From: Jean(eanjay)
Date: 16 Nov 07 - 06:42 AM

used to NOT using

Subject: RE: BS: Sex with a bicycle illegal in Scotland
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 16 Nov 07 - 06:44 AM

That's more or less the same argument I read once for the Christian church not liking rock music - that the drummers brought themselves to orgasm by the rythmic pounding of their drums and so it was dirty and nasty and Christians shouldn't listen to it because it encouraged filthy, depraved and sexual behaviour....

Makes me wonder if I shouldn't have learned to play the drums rather than the recorder.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Sex with a bicycle illegal in Scotland
From: The PA
Date: 16 Nov 07 - 07:01 AM

I've heard of ladies sitting on spin driers when they're at full speed! Should they be on the sex offenders register or is that only for men ?????????????????

Subject: RE: BS: Sex with a bicycle illegal in Scotland
From: jacqui.c
Date: 16 Nov 07 - 07:37 AM

I think the problem was that he was in a hostel room and that the cleaners knocked a few times - probably to ensure that the room was empty - before going in to clean, as is the practice with hotel/hostel rooms the world over. Since the guy apparently did not respond to their knocking on the door they must have assumed the the room was empty. It appears that, when they did go in he was in a state of undress and made no attempt to either stop the activity or to cover himself up. That would be cause to cite him for a breach of the peace, not the fact that he was banging a bike.

Subject: RE: BS: Sex with a bicycle illegal in Scotland
From: fat B****rd
Date: 16 Nov 07 - 07:49 AM

So the PInk Floyd's "Bike" was about a sort of cycle pimp.
"I've got a bike, you can ride it if you like"

Subject: RE: BS: Sex with a bicycle illegal in Scotland
From: The PA
Date: 16 Nov 07 - 07:54 AM

So, if a middle aged married couple were enjoying the same activities as he and his bike and were so engrossed they did not notice anyone enter their hotel room, and were observed by the cleaning staff pursuing the same activity and/or carried on regardless, does the same apply to them? Which one goes on the sex offenders register, him, her or both.

If you were shaggin in the shower (with the water running) you would not necessarily hear anyone knocking on the bedroom door. So would you then be guilty too. A bit difficult to cover yourself up under those circumstances.

Subject: RE: BS: Sex with a bicycle illegal in Scotland
From: jacqui.c
Date: 16 Nov 07 - 07:59 AM

Maybe, if you're undertaking those activities at a time when it is likely that cleaners might be around, you should use the Do Not Disturb sign? Why should cleaners, doing their job, have to be exposed to this?

Subject: RE: BS: Sex with a bicycle illegal in Scotland
From: GUEST,PMB
Date: 16 Nov 07 - 08:17 AM

Note that the report said "hostel" not "hotel". They are similar, but hostels are for people without vrights.

Subject: RE: BS: Sex with a bicycle illegal in Scotland
From: Drumshanty
Date: 16 Nov 07 - 08:24 AM

I can't put it any better than my colleague, who said

"The sentence and his name on the sex offenders register seems harsh on the day when Chris "it was for research, m'lud" Langham gets a get out of jail free card and the woman who injects her mate's kid with a potentially lethal dose of insulin gets just three years probation. I think I'd be suing the cleaners for busting into my room."

Very scary story indeed. What PMB said.

Subject: RE: BS: Sex with a bicycle illegal in Scotland
From: skarpi
Date: 16 Nov 07 - 08:36 AM

well if you build a saddle with " vagina " then should be okei
to ride the bike,


or a saddle for woman with " dildo´s " I am suprised that no one in the big USA has not started this ? not a bad idea should make some money .


:>þ


all the best Skarpi Iceland

Subject: RE: BS: Sex with a bicycle illegal in Scotland
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 16 Nov 07 - 09:01 AM

The bicycle's involvement is a weird, but essentially irrelevant twist to the story. The legal issue is whether the man was accidentally walked in on or whether he intentionally ignored the cleaners' knocks, desiring to be "caught in the act" as a form of exhibitionist titillation. Sounds like the judge decided the evidence points to exhibitionism, not accident. He would have been just as guilty if he had simply been masturbating on the sofa and intentionally allowed the cleaners to walk in.

Subject: RE: BS: Sex with a bicycle illegal in Scotland
From: greg stephens
Date: 16 Nov 07 - 09:36 AM

BIt of as non-story this,rather like a lot of those invented "political correctness gone mad" tales. The bloke doesn't seem to have been done for shagging a bike specifically, but for being sexually rude to the cleaners.It was the offensiveness that was the crime, not the object of his lust.You can do pretty much what you like sexually in the privacy of your room, but not if a cleaner is in there with you and doesn't want to watch.It makes sense.

Subject: RE: BS: Sex with a bicycle illegal in Scotland
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 16 Nov 07 - 12:04 PM

Skarpi, it has been invented. As I said, google.

Subject: RE: BS: Sex with a bicycle illegal in Scotland
From: Bill D
Date: 16 Nov 07 - 12:29 PM

I hope he treats the bike kindly


a proper bike is available to either sex

Subject: RE: BS: Sex with a bicycle illegal in Scotland
From: Bill D
Date: 16 Nov 07 - 12:56 PM

Did you know that doing it with your bike will cause hair to grow on your...

Subject: RE: BS: Sex with a bicycle illegal in Scotland
From: Big Al Whittle
Date: 16 Nov 07 - 01:09 PM

Ah yes, but the bike was leading him on...what's a redblooded bikesexual man to do...!

Subject: RE: BS: Sex with a bicycle illegal in Scotland
From: Big Al Whittle
Date: 16 Nov 07 - 02:50 PM

he just had a freewheeling appraoch to sex.....

Subject: RE: BS: Sex with a bicycle illegal in Scotland
From: GUEST,Crazy Scottish Bikeaphile
Date: 16 Nov 07 - 03:49 PM

I've got a bike
you can ride it if you like
it's got a basket and bells that ring and things to make it look good
I'd give it to you if I could but I borrowed it.

Actually it's the town bike...everbody gets a ride.

Myself, I'm a tricyclist....I'll try anything.

Subject: RE: BS: Sex with a bicycle illegal in Scotland
From: Little Hawk
Date: 16 Nov 07 - 04:08 PM

I've heard that ten-speeds are much better than the old three-speeds when it comes to this sort of thing.

Subject: RE: BS: Sex with a bicycle illegal in Scotland
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 16 Nov 07 - 05:06 PM

Her lips were like petals; bicycle petals!
G

Subject: RE: BS: Sex with a bicycle illegal in Scotland
From: GUEST,Bill the sound
Date: 16 Nov 07 - 07:59 PM

One for Liz the Squeak. Yhe back view on a tandem could be the best it depends on who's sitting on the front.
But seriously someone should tell this guy it's quicker by motor bike.(That way he might of not got caught)

Subject: RE: BS: Sex with a bicycle illegal in Scotland
From: The Sandman
Date: 17 Nov 07 - 09:08 AM

bykers ill,with wanking sore.




cleaner lasses,never no more.
Jockie scotsman had a bike
tried to ride it like a tyke,
all the way till he came,im sure
to the tune of elsie marley.

Subject: RE: BS: Sex with a bicycle illegal in Scotland
From: Art Thieme
Date: 17 Nov 07 - 11:17 PM

One of the earliest off color jokes I ever heard:

A naked girl is hitchhiking on a rural road and a guy comes along on a bicycle. She says, "Please give me a lift!? He answers, "Sure! Just climb up here on the crossbar." They go on down the road and he doesn't seem to notice that she's naked. After a while she say, "Good sir, if you haven't noticed, I must tell you that I am naked!" And he answers, "And you haven't noticed that this is a girl's bike!!!"

Art

Subject: RE: BS: Sex with a bicycle illegal in Scotland
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 18 Nov 07 - 04:22 AM

Hope the guy was using protection....'Always wear a helmet when mounting your bike'
In the 1960's in the UK there was an offence 'Two on a bike' which I think still exists.......the mind boggles.
Was he wearing a yellow jersey by any chance?
Was it in fact a mountain bike? if so I'm sure 'He'll be coming round the mountain when he comes'

Subject: RE: BS: Sex with a bicycle illegal in Scotland
From: GUEST,johnny
Date: 18 Nov 07 - 04:54 AM

Perhaps it was the village bike?
J

Subject: RE: BS: Sex with a bicycle illegal in Scotland
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 18 Nov 07 - 05:47 AM

maybe he couldent afford a goat?

Subject: RE: BS: Sex with a bicycle illegal in Scotland
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 18 Nov 07 - 09:06 AM

Thank you bald Sir jOhn, you owe me a new keyboard and another cup of lemon tea!

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Sex with a bicycle illegal in Scotland
From: GUEST,sparticus
Date: 19 Nov 07 - 03:35 AM

Looks more like he couldn't put the brakes on when he was caught in the act.

Subject: RE: BS: Sex with a bicycle illegal in Scotland
From: David C. Carter
Date: 19 Nov 07 - 12:00 PM

Was he singing "I'm Back In The Saddle Again".

Subject: RE: BS: Sex with a bicycle illegal in Scotland
From: topical tom
Date: 20 Nov 07 - 10:13 AM

Or did he just horn in on the action and thus stirrup trouble?

Subject: RE: BS: Sex with a bicycle illegal in Scotland
From: Big Al Whittle
Date: 21 Nov 07 - 09:59 AM

There once was a Scotsman called Rob
Who did things to his bike, with his nob
he said, its a shame
Though I bear a King's name
I look a bit daft on the job.

Subject: RE: BS: Sex with a bicycle illegal in Scotland
From: TheSnail
Date: 22 Nov 07 - 08:04 AM

I say, I say, I say. Caruthers was found having sex with a bicycle.

Good God! What sort of bicycle?

Girl's bicycle of course; nothing queer about Caruthers.

(You've got to keep these traditional jokes up to date.)

Subject: RE: BS: Sex with a bicycle illegal in Scotland
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 22 Nov 07 - 01:47 PM

Is it 'cycle of deprivation or depravation?'

Subject: RE: BS: Sex with a bicycle illegal in Scotland
From: Big Jim from Jackson
Date: 22 Nov 07 - 09:10 PM

Perhapse one of the tires (tyres) went down on him?

Subject: RE: BS: Sex with a bicycle illegal in Scotland
From: Jim Lad
Date: 22 Nov 07 - 10:13 PM

Male, 51, Bike Curious, likes long rides in the country & cozy evenings by the fire seeking long term relationship....

Subject: RE: BS: Sex with a bicycle illegal in Scotland
From: Bert
Date: 23 Nov 07 - 03:00 AM

"Oh Raleigh?"