BS: Humor

Subject: BS: Humor
From: SINSULL
Date: 11 Feb 08 - 03:42 PM

Today at work a group was discussing the tragic death of a young woman who died at her wedding in the arms of her new husband as they danced. I thought for a minute and asked "Will he have to give back all the wedding gifts?" It was met with stony silence. Was that not a funny observation?

Later a co-worker was complimenting a fellow employee on his youthful looks. At 53 he looks 30. She said "I will never look like you when I am 53." To which I said "Well...you'll probably have hair on your chin like his." Again, stony silence.

As of today we are sharing our work space with another department and I guess we are all supposed to be on our best behavior. I am using my thyroid as an excuse for my uncontrollable comments. But I am sure Kendall would laugh or at least give me the blue-eyed twinkle + dimples for these lines.

SIGH

Subject: RE: BS: Humor
From: Bill D
Date: 11 Feb 08 - 03:47 PM

context, my dear...context. That & timing.

There's a HUGE difference between a 'clever' remark and a funny one. I know several amazingly clever jokes & lines I won't use because they are just not easy to find the precise context for.

Subject: RE: BS: Humor
From: Wesley S
Date: 11 Feb 08 - 03:54 PM

So - Funny or not funny:

A man was on the water for his monthly fishing trip. He began his day with an 8 lb. bass on the first cast and a 7 lb. on the second. On the third cast he had just caught his first ever bass over 11 pounds when his cell phone rang.

It was a doctor notifying him that his wife had just been in a terrible accident and was in critical condition in the ICU. The man told the doctor to inform his wife where he was and that he'd be there as soon as possible. As he hung up, he realized he was leaving what was shaping up to be his best fishing day ever.

He decided to get in a couple of more casts before heading to the hospital. He ended up fishing the rest of the morning, finishing his trip with a stringer like he'd never seen, with 3 bass over 10 pounds.
      
He was jubilant....then he remembered his wife!

Feeling terribly guilty, he dashed to the hospital. He ran up to the doctor in the corridor and asked about his wife's condition.

The doctor glared at him and shouted, "You went ahead and finished your fishing, didn't you? I hope you're proud of yourself! While you were out for the past four hours enjoying yourself on the pond, your poor wife has been languishing in the ICU! I hope you really enjoyed yourself, because it will more than likely be the last fishing trip you will ever take! For the rest of her life your wife will be paralyzed and require around the clock care, and you'll be her caregiver forever!"

The man felt so horrible at what he had done that he broke down and sobbed.

Then the doctor chuckled and said, "I'm just messin' with you. She's dead. What'd you catch?"

Subject: RE: BS: Humor
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 11 Feb 08 - 03:59 PM

Mary, they were both very funny, and I share the same failing as you, I just can't not say it, when perhaps it would have been better to keep schtum.
The reason Kendall would have laughed, is you and he share a similar sense of humour, and often a sense of humour like that, is wasted on some folks.
I enjoyed them, and I wish I'd been there to see their faces!
G.

Subject: RE: BS: Humor
From: Bill D
Date: 11 Feb 08 - 04:02 PM

yeah...that's kinda what I meant, Wesley.

Years ago, on a men's room wall in W. Virginia, I saw this done in magic marker.

"AIDS..God's miracle that turns fruits to vegetables."

This is the first time I have ever repeated it, because...well, just because it is too 'useful' for bigots.

Subject: RE: BS: Humor
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 11 Feb 08 - 04:04 PM

If the humour lies in the shock value maybe Wesley could heighten it by adding a bit of the old ethnic stuff - make the characters cartoon Jewish or Black maybe...

Subject: RE: BS: Humor
From: catspaw49
Date: 11 Feb 08 - 04:30 PM

LOL......Sorry Sins but I liked them. On the other hand I am generally in trouble for similar transgressions, if indeed they are. Yours were typically a bit obscure which I enjoy but many miss completely or are appalled as they take each utterance so seriously!

Sometimes I forget around here that not everyone knows Spaw . I've been less active the past two years and when I go for an off the wall thing or another. I made a really piss poor joke on another thread and had a newer 'Catter up in arms over it. I figured it was ridiculous and far fetched but he didn't see the humor, mostly because he doesn't know me but.................

Perhaps, instead of the hairy chin line you could have been more blatant. Like, uh......"No you won't unless you go with that sex change you've been talking about."

Probably not good either...............

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Humor
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 11 Feb 08 - 04:32 PM

Sins... I would have been under the table sniggering with you.... especially about the hairy chin!

Again, judging your audience is critical... and some people just ain't worth the effort. Oddly enough, if THEY had said the same thing about one of YOUR situations, it would have been hysterical.

It's like burping in public. When men do it, it's funny and a competition sport. If a woman does it, it's disgusting.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Humor
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Feb 08 - 04:41 PM

Humor might be the only thing that keeps us sane in situations that are indescribably terrible.

The black, black humor of soldiers in combat, of the police, of the fire fighters, of the Emergency Room keep those people on as level a keel as possible.

I've seen photos of the British trenches in WW1, the skeleton of a German soldier seated and holding a sign directing people to the CP. And what might be cosidered worse....

It's in the context and the timing. IF you can get those involved to share the what keeps them on plumb...IF....

Subject: RE: BS: Humor
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 11 Feb 08 - 04:57 PM

Personally, I would never have used a line like "Will he have to give back all the wedding gifts?"

He'll probably need to sell them to pay for the funeral.

Subject: RE: BS: Humor
From: SINSULL
Date: 11 Feb 08 - 07:48 PM

LOL

Subject: RE: BS: Humor
From: John Hardly
Date: 11 Feb 08 - 08:05 PM

Reminds me of this Fielding thread.

Subject: RE: BS: Humor
From: Leadfingers
Date: 11 Feb 08 - 08:36 PM

Its FAR too easy for what appears in plain print on a screen with NO body language / visuals to be taken the wrong way and just as easy for someone to miss all the indications in REAL life if they dont really know the perpetrator really well !
I know of FAR too many occasions where a 'Humourous' comment has been taken in entirely the wrong way , in here , in Chat . AND in Real Life .

Subject: RE: BS: Humor
From: Peace
Date: 11 Feb 08 - 08:56 PM

The thread title is misspelled. That ain't funny. BUT, the remarks were great. LOL

Subject: RE: BS: Humor
From: Bert
Date: 11 Feb 08 - 10:26 PM

I thought they were funny. When I think of remarks like that it is usually too late.


Like when a friend comitted suicide by jumping off a 12th. floor balcony. We were having a private wake for him and Ed says "I wonder what he was thinking of on the way down." Far too late I thought "It's a Long way to Tipparary".

Subject: RE: BS: Humor
From: Rowan
Date: 11 Feb 08 - 10:39 PM

Wry humour is not everyone's cup of tea but I liked them, SINSULL.
And I reckon I've twigged Spaw's.

But I also think that a shared sense of the absurd can be a finer thing than a shared sense of humour; it's also a bit rarer, I've found.

Cheers, Rowan

Subject: RE: BS: Humor
From: Nickhere
Date: 11 Feb 08 - 10:50 PM

Liz "It's like burping in public. When men do it, it's funny and a competition sport. If a woman does it, it's disgusting"

That's just like farting. Women regard this as an embarrasing by-product of digestion...men regard it as a source of entertainment and male bonding.... ;-)) (I'll get roasted now by the PC brigade for generalising about men and women)

You have to gauge the audience. Often the audience don't laugh and just shift uneasily because THEY"RE not too sure of the rest of audience either. They might be laughing internally, but externally their expression is 'is it OK to laugh at this?' (which can look a bit sad)

I know there are limits, but most people have different limits and humour is one weapon in our arsenal to help us deal with life's ups and downs. Problem is everyone has different limits and different ideas about what's funny. It's like those Personal ads you see - "GSOH required" Good sense of humour - what they mean of course is "MY idea of a good sense of hunour required"

Subject: RE: BS: Humor
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 11 Feb 08 - 11:16 PM

I've certainly stuck my foot in my mouth enough times with my humor to recognize the situation. I wouldn't have said the wedding line (that's too close to an actual family tragedy), but for the hairy chin one it sounds like it was open season for a response like that.

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: Humor
From: katlaughing
Date: 12 Feb 08 - 12:10 AM

Not funny, imo, Wesley. Sins, not too sure. I'd have to know the group well before I'd say either of those.

Subject: RE: BS: Humor
From: GUEST,James
Date: 12 Feb 08 - 01:06 AM

I think that improvised humor depends on the moment. On a Friday, a week after I emigrated and started a job in the USA, a Company Director (Mr. Hula) and my Manager (Mr. Mulligan) took me (Scot) and an other Brit (Englisher) out to lunch.
The conversation palled as we did not have much in common, but we got onto the subject of humor.
I was explaining my theory that every nationality had another nationality as the butt of their jokes. Brits tell Irish jokes, Irish tell Kerryman jokes, Poles tell Russian jokes and Americans tell Pollack jokes.
I explained that this was an Irish joke I learned in the UK, but as I knew Mr. Mulligan was Irish, I would tell it as a Polish joke.
Mr. Hula announced, "I AM POLISH!"
Too quickly I replied, "Well, I'll tell it really slowly, then."
Mulligan laughed uproariestly. Hula was not amused.
I got fired within the year and was surprised I lasted that long.

Subject: RE: BS: Humor
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 12 Feb 08 - 05:30 AM

Somebody, it may have been Redd Sullivan, organised a benefit concert for Cyril Tawney when he was ill one time. Noel Murphy who was performing at this benefit is reputed to have said to Redd at one point. "If Cyril dies, do we get paid?"
Now that was years ago, and dear old Cyril has since alas gone before, but at the time it was said, it was funny. Had many years not elapsed between the concert and Cyril's demise, it would NOT have been funny. So I think it's a case for the old saying 'Circumstances alter cases'

G

Subject: RE: BS: Humor
From: Mr Happy
Date: 12 Feb 08 - 06:59 AM

Your story about the fisherman's wife & the doctor's very reminiscent of this http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=zGBTrCZObyA

Subject: RE: BS: Humor
From: John Hardly
Date: 12 Feb 08 - 09:22 AM

Wesley, that is hilarious! It reminds me of the old...

A foursome stood at the 6th tee.   Joe, driver in hand, was ready to address his ball. Just then a rather long funeral procession drove by on the nearby road that paralleled the fairway. At the first sight of the hearse, Joe stopped what he was doing, removed his cap and held it over his heart. He stood this way, with rapt attention on the hearse until the entire procession finally passed – at which time he returned to his ball and smacked a drive straight down the fairway.

Jim, another of the foursome, turned to Bob and observed, "respectful fella, ain't he?"

Bob returned, "Well, she was a good wife for thirty years."

Subject: RE: BS: Humor
From: Wesley S
Date: 12 Feb 08 - 11:04 AM

I'm appalled at what makes me laugh sometimes.

Subject: RE: BS: Humor
From: GUEST,A regular
Date: 12 Feb 08 - 11:12 AM

I do emergency response. There are times . . . .

One scene years back and a fellow had been decapitated in a collision. All I could think was "Now's your chance to get ahead." Sick, I know. However, I think humor does help get us through very stressful situations. On that occasion I did keep my mouth shut. But since then I have avoided asking anyone to 'lend me a hand'. Now, I simply request help.

Subject: RE: BS: Humor
From: Bill D
Date: 12 Feb 08 - 11:20 AM

Ok, I have thought about it for a day, and in my infinite wisdom...*cough*...have determined that the wedding line is not funny as used. 'Giving back the gifts' could be quite funny in other circumstances, but the extraordinary sadness of the details of the story don't lend themselves easily to humor....except possibly, gentle humor by someone who knew the people personally.

The hairy chin remark 'could' be, depending on, as I said, timing and context and how well you knew the woman and how well everyone else knew her.(Being 'acquainted' is different from being in a peer group which has established a personal understanding about humor).
Teasing someone about appearance can be delicate. 'Weight' jokes, jokes about handicaps...etc, are often funny when made BY the brunt of the joke, but made by others are done on thin ice.

...*disclaimer*... one man's opinion. YMMV.

Subject: RE: BS: Humor
From: maeve
Date: 12 Feb 08 - 11:38 AM

I can usually find the humour in the many absurdities of life. I don't find malice at all appealing, and do my best to stifle or ignore "clever" remarks, whether my own or thoseof others, if they are unkind or coarse.

Sinsull, Kendall, gnu, and Giok can almost always bring me to laughter when I most need it.

Subject: RE: BS: Humor
From: John Hardly
Date: 12 Feb 08 - 12:04 PM

Here's a good rule of thimb:

If the sad event was happening to George Bush and you'd still make a joke of it, then it's probably okay.

Subject: RE: BS: Humor
From: SINSULL
Date: 12 Feb 08 - 12:10 PM

This has reminded me of the death of my beloved kitty LuLu. My sister-in-law was visiting. LuLu was dying and my aged (read: senile)vet would not euthanize her. He insisted we have to take care of our old people. Deb stepped in, found another vet and just before we left the house (me near hysterical) LuLu died.

So we walk into the vet's office with LuLu stiff as a board, head thrown back, tongue lolling out and I say "I think she's dead." The vet tried his best not to laugh saying "Yes, I think she's dead too." It was a very funny moment but maybe you had to be there. Everyone in the reception area was trying not laugh. No one made eye contact. And my sister-in-law held it together until we got outside where she burst out laughing.

I can see where this might not have funny had it been some lonely old lady who lost her only friend. I was broken-hearted over losing LuLu. I still miss her. But I hope I never see the day when I can't see the humor in absurdity. And I still laugh when I think of me, a cat in full riog mortis and the ridiculous observation "I think she's dead."

Subject: RE: BS: Humor
From: Amos
Date: 12 Feb 08 - 12:21 PM

John, SINS, those were two very funny posts!


A

Subject: RE: BS: Humor
From: Bill D
Date: 12 Feb 08 - 12:24 PM

yep...THAT's funny, given the whole context and the people involved...and the totally amazing timing.

Subject: RE: BS: Humor
From: SINSULL
Date: 12 Feb 08 - 12:31 PM

rigor mortis - I was laughing as I typed.

Subject: RE: BS: Humor
From: Becca72
Date: 12 Feb 08 - 12:46 PM

I inherited my father's sense of humor (my mother didn't have one to inherit) and can totally relate to the "deer in the headlights" looks people give when they have no idea why I'm laughing...

Subject: RE: BS: Humor
From: Geordie-Peorgie
Date: 12 Feb 08 - 02:20 PM

There's a story went roond when John Martyn had his leg amputated that a certain famous muso said, "Does he want to sell his effects pedals"

Aah laft that hard aah thowt me pants wad never dry

Subject: RE: BS: Humor
From: SINSULL
Date: 12 Feb 08 - 04:29 PM

HMMMMM I sat in my doctor's office waiting for my turn when an elderly man walked came in on crutches. He was missing a leg. I could see mischief in his eyes but his son and daughter-in-law were all concern and flittering... So he and I began to chat. He had broken a bone which would not heal and eventually lost his leg. He was mystified at how this could happen. I sympathized and then commented "But now you can be a pirate." He nearly fell on the floor laughing. They were horrifed. Made his day - he was the only one in the family who did not think that his life was over.

Subject: RE: BS: Humor
From: Rowan
Date: 12 Feb 08 - 04:30 PM

I came across an example of the 'protective black humour' used by particular sectors not long ago. Early in the morning I was driving from Newcastle to Sydney and saw a car at the side of the freeway with a bloke leaning over another and putting him in the 'coma' position. I pulled up and oriented the bullbar into the traffic to give us a 'shelter' from the traffic and helped out; within a few seconds we were both into CPR. He'd had a mobie phone and had already rung for an ambulance, which arrived a couple of minutes later.

The ambos commented, as they got the oxygen into the patient, "The frogs will be here in about a minute." 90 seconds later a chopper descended onto the median strip and blokes in blue flight overalls raced over and took over from all of us. It was all to no avail; the EC trace was flat.

I later asked a friend, the ambo who'd given me my most recent courses in first aid training, why the ambos had called the chopper paramedics "frogs".
"Oh", he replied, "everything they touch croaks!"

I did smile.
Cheers, Rowan

Subject: RE: BS: Humor
From: SINSULL
Date: 12 Feb 08 - 04:51 PM

Me too

Subject: RE: BS: Humor
From: Bryn Pugh
Date: 13 Feb 08 - 04:24 AM

I am reminded of the (apocryphal, doubtless) tale :

'Is your old man in, Mrs Jenkins ?'

'Nay, he died last Friday' (bursts into tears).

'By, I am sorry. Did he say owt about a tin of red paint afore he died ?'

Subject: RE: BS: Humor
From: kendall
Date: 13 Feb 08 - 12:59 PM

A man called his doctor and said, "Doctor, I think my wife is dead." Doctor said, "Why do you think she's dead"? Man says, "Well, the sex is the same, but the laundry's piling up."



This was told to me by my dear wife. I always thought the English had class. Another bubble busted.

Subject: RE: BS: Humor
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 13 Feb 08 - 01:06 PM

Man walking his dog along the beach at St Tropez, discovers the naked and dead body of a woman washed up on the sand.
He dashed of the fetch the Gendarmes, and when they get back to the spot, there was tramp making love to the corpse.
Monsieur: the Gendarme protested, you cannot do that, the lady she is dead!
Oh I am very sorry said the tramp, I thought she was English.

G

Subject: RE: BS: Humor
From: Mrrzy
Date: 13 Feb 08 - 01:23 PM

People were adding things last-minute to my sister's project which was already overloaded, and she started doing Marissa Tomei in My Cousin Vinnie, stomping her foot and going Is there Anything Else you can Add to my Project... and then looked around and realized nobody had seen the movie. What a howl.

Subject: RE: BS: Humor
From: topical tom
Date: 14 Feb 08 - 11:13 AM

Edgar and his wife Liz loved to play golf.Tragically one day on the course Liz died on the second hole.
Their friends, Melvin and Betty, were waiting for them outside the clubhouse as arranged.Time dragged on and on. "Where in the hell are they", cried Melvin."They should have been here an hour ago!"
Finally Edgar appeared, breathless, sweating and bedraggled."What the hell happened to you?" asked Melville.
"Well," Edgar panted, "It wasn't easy, you know...Hit the ball, drag Liz...Hit the ball, drag Liz."

Subject: RE: BS: Humor
From: M.Ted
Date: 14 Feb 08 - 11:39 AM

Sinsull--I think that maybe people didn't realize that you were making a joke.

I was once married to a person who would have taken back her gift the minute the bride hit the floor, and grabbed a few extra, as well. To give them a good home.

Subject: RE: BS: Humor
From: Nickhere
Date: 14 Feb 08 - 11:43 AM

In my corner of the world we have a peculiar form of bonding / humour called 'slagging'. It involves focusing on some particular characteristic of a person, usually not a very flattering one (maybe s/he's a rotten driver or hoplessly unpunctual) and needling them about it. If you go too far and say something that actually hurts them, you lose the 'game'. If they lose their temper, they lose. I don't like it much as you have to know the person very well and it's easy to go too far. It's even worse when drink is mixed into the equtaion (as it usually is) and someone can end up saying something too true and too directly. Done between very good friends and without real malice it can be very funny. I have a very reclusive but also very close friend. He doesn't like unannounced guests or overstays and often goes off to be alone for a half hour if more than 3 people turn up at the same time. I slag him about it sometimes, calling him Bill Badger from Wind in the Willows and doing imitations of him getting people off his doorstep with various excuses. It's all accurate but not intended maliciously.

I remember one time there was an elderly woman in my class telling us something about her sister. Her English wasn't good so it took us a while to catch that she was telling us she'd given her sister a bun which contained some kind of seed her sister was allergic to (unknown to the woman who gave the bun), and her sister had a seizure and died - literally within an hour or so. This was after they had met up for the first time in 20 odd years. As soon as it dawned on us we all burst out laughing. The whole situation was too incongrous - especially if you saw how the woman in question was a real 'old dear' It made us think of 'arsenic and lace' if anyone's seen the movie. We quickly explained that we didn't intend any offence, but the woman took it all in good stead, it had happened quiet a few years before, so at leats it wasn't fresh and raw, and I suppose she could see some of the incongruity herself.

Subject: RE: BS: Humor
From: kendall
Date: 14 Feb 08 - 05:59 PM

Nickhere, that kind of humor is common in the services.

Subject: RE: BS: Humor
From: katlaughing
Date: 14 Feb 08 - 07:49 PM

Sins, I totally get the cat at the vet's and would have LMAO, likewise the pirate thing with the elderly gentleman.

And, the dark humour which helps medics get through some really terrible situations. If they focussed on how terrible things were they couldn't do their jobs, imo.

Some of these are funny for the remove or distance since they happened, imo.

Subject: RE: BS: Humor
From: pdq
Date: 15 Feb 08 - 03:57 PM

...a fellow had been decapitated in a collision. All I could think was "Now's your chance to get ahead."

I have avoided asking anyone to 'lend me a hand'


All said with a disarming sense of humor.

Subject: RE: BS: Humor
From: gnu
Date: 15 Feb 08 - 06:22 PM

RCMP accident report: Head found on Bulevard... boulivard... bollavard... KICK! Head found in ditch.

Subject: RE: BS: Humor
From: Amos
Date: 19 Jun 08 - 07:16 PM

"This is the message that the Pacific Palisades High School California staff voted unanimously to record on their school telephone answering machine.

This is reported to be the actual answering machine message for the school. This came about because they implemented a policy requiring students and parents to be responsible for their children's absences and missing homework.

The school and teachers are being sued by parents who want their children's failing grades changed to passing grades - even though those children were absent 15-30 times during the semester and did not complete enough school work to pass their classes.

The outgoing message:

"Hello! You have reached the automated answering service of your school. In order to assist you in connecting to the right staff member, please listen to all the options before making a selection:

"To lie about why your child is absent - Press 1

"To make excuses for why your child did not do his work -Press 2

"To complain about what we do - Press 3

"To swear at staff members - Press 4

"To ask why you didn't get information that was already enclosed in your newsletter and several flyers mailed to you - Press 5

"If you want us to raise your child - Press 6

"If you want to reach out and touch, slap or hit someone - Press 7

"To request another teacher, for the third time this year - Press 8

"To complain about bus transportation - Press 9

"To complain about school lunches - Press 0

"If you realize this is the real world and your child must be accountable and responsible for his/her own behavior, class work, homework and that it's not the teachers' fault for your child's lack of effort: Hang up and have a nice day!"

---

While I am sure the report is not true, it is a fun read.


A

Subject: RE: BS: Humor
From: Amos
Date: 19 Jun 08 - 07:17 PM

Snopes' rebuttal


A

Subject: RE: BS: Humor
From: kendall
Date: 19 Jun 08 - 07:43 PM

Good example of very black humor
As the mayor of Hiroshima said, "What the fuck was that"?

Subject: RE: BS: Humor
From: gnu
Date: 20 Jun 08 - 03:26 AM

I like the "Famous Last Fuck" by Custer.... "Look at all the fuckin Indians."

Subject: RE: BS: Humor
From: kendall
Date: 20 Jun 08 - 06:55 AM

As the Captain of the Titanic said, "Where is all this fuckin' water coming from"?