BS: An Asshole Looks Never Changes

Subject: BS: An Asshole Looks Never Changes
From: Beer
Date: 11 Feb 08 - 10:19 PM

Not the sort of title for me, but I was wondering about something(and no, I am not smokin.). A few days ago I was unfortunate enough to run into a fellow who in my opinion is a complete asshole. No I will not explain my interpretations of one. You have all met one so take it from your point of view. Any way, we greet each other and within a few minutes we part. I hadn't seen this person in at least 30 years. When he was out of ear shot I said to my wife "No matter how old an asshole gets, his looks never change". Maybe he was saying the same thing.
Beer (adrien)

Subject: RE: BS: An Asshole Looks Never Changes
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Feb 08 - 10:23 PM

You've heard the saying, "Unless you're the lead dog the view never changes."

Subject: RE: BS: An Asshole Looks Never Changes
From: Beer
Date: 11 Feb 08 - 10:26 PM

Yup! yep!

Subject: RE: BS: An Asshole Looks Never Changes
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 11 Feb 08 - 10:53 PM

Sure, an asshole's look changes!


Sometimes he looks like this: *


Sometimes he looks like this: *


It all depends on whether or not he had hot peppers in his breakfast omelet.

Subject: RE: BS: An Asshole Looks Never Changes
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Feb 08 - 10:53 PM

Ah, yes, but at the heart of every @$$hole is a worthy soul trying desperately to somehow get loose from the grip of the outward personality. ;-)

Consider, for example, the obnoxious life insurance salesman, "Ned Ryerson" in the movie "Groundhog Day"....an utterly classic asshole! (grin) When "Phil", the deeply cynical and jaded weatherman, finally became enlightened, he learned how to show compassion and kindness even to that guy...with interesting results. I think people's main problem...perhaps their only real problem...is their fear, and an "asshole" is always someone with some kind of underlying fear that throws him off balance and makes him act...like an asshole.

Then too, there are some people you'll probably never get along with, because their approach is like oil to your water. I know I've encountered people like that. It's a major challenge to turn something like that positive...sometimes a challenge that doesn't seem worth it, I'll admit.

I had an uncle whom I was quite happy not to have to see at any given time. He was an ****ASSHOLE******** par excellence!!! He could have chaired a show for celebrity assholes, in all probability, and been elected chairman for life.

Subject: RE: BS: An Asshole Looks Never Changes
From: Melissa
Date: 11 Feb 08 - 10:56 PM

The one I know has recently started looking like he's roughly 900 years old..maybe what you've got there is "The Asshole of Dorian Gray" or something equally eerie?

Subject: RE: BS: An Asshole Looks Never Changes
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Feb 08 - 11:02 PM

You know Keith Richard???

(just joking!) (Sorry, Keith!)

Subject: RE: BS: An Asshole Looks Never Changes
From: Beer
Date: 11 Feb 08 - 11:19 PM

Lol L/Hawk.

Subject: RE: BS: An Asshole Looks Never Changes
From: catspaw49
Date: 11 Feb 08 - 11:38 PM

Why do I feel like I have to stand up and say, "Hello. My name is Spaw and I'm an asshole?"

And oddly enough I'm reminded of this:

Look carefully at the two objects below this line:

      O                O

One of the above is your ass and the other is a hole in the ground. Which is which?

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: An Asshole Looks Never Changes
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Feb 08 - 11:42 PM

I wish to gracious that people would STOP characterizing worthless jerks who aren't worth the powder to blow them to Hell as "assholes."

Assholes are important, assholes have a purpose. Ask yourself: Where would I be without my asshole?

That's right. You'd be fuller of it than you are now. Eventually you would disappear is an explosion of your own...poop. (Extensive and expensive studies conclusively demonstrate that the word "poop" is actually the sound made when someone explodes due to a clogged asshole. But the "poop" sound is very, very loud and you do not want to be in the vicinity of the explosion.)

Those that you so characterize are usually important only to themselves (and as a provider to their family, sometimes). We need a new word to describe them. Perhaps a contest is in order.

Thank you.

Rapaire
President,
Society To Treat Assholes With The Respect They Deserve (STTAWTRTD)

Subject: RE: BS: An Asshole Looks Never Changes
From: catspaw49
Date: 11 Feb 08 - 11:49 PM

Okay......Fuck ya' Rap......You're a Complete Asshole with Hemorrhoid Clusters

Just tryin' to help.

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: An Asshole Looks Never Changes
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Feb 08 - 11:54 PM

Spaw, that is no way to talk to a guy who had a recent colonoscopy.

That's the award I got for being a sedated patient: The Complete Asshole with Hemorrhoid Clusters. I was kissed on both cheeks when it was presented, too.

Subject: RE: BS: An Asshole Looks Never Changes
From: catspaw49
Date: 12 Feb 08 - 12:08 AM

My gawd how inspiring. Future generations will revere your name and Paul will copper clad your ass. I am humbled by the depth of your deed as was the Doc.

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: An Asshole Looks Never Changes
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Feb 08 - 12:33 AM

"The Complete Asshole with Hemorrhoid Clusters"

That sounds like the perfect name for the most coveted award of the New World Order, Rapaire. ;-) Only those serving way above and beyond the call of duty in defeating "Terror" are gonna snag that one, and it can only be conferred on them by the Commander in Chief himself...at the White House.

But, hey, I think you're right, we need another word for "asshole".

Here are some good ones.

"diddlyboob" - Bloom County expression. Opus has been called a diddblyboob on several occasions by other characters in the strip.

doofus - another good Bloom Country expression.

jerk - all round good word to express the basic concept.

moron, idiot, fool - these tend to focus on the witless aspects of assholehood.

bolthole - a Shaneism. Means exactly the same as the pejorative word "asshole"...and without offending the human body!

dipwad - another Shaneism.

retread - slightly different Shaneism. Implies extreme incompetence and stupidity.

corkpuller (!) - this is the ultimate Shaneism, but it's much, MUCH stronger than bolthole. You don't call someone a corkpuller unless you are utterly infuriated, beside yourself with outrage, and ready to come to blows over the matter. Reserve it only for the most extreme moments.

loser - a more generalized term, but related, nonetheless..

looser - What Shane writes when he means "loser".

mamalucca - A Spawnism. Talk to Spaw to get the full lowdown on this rare and exotic pejorative word. It's stronger when coupled with "broke-dick"*, as in "Yer nothin' but a broke-dick mamalucca with shit for brains and a face to match..."


* No connection with the movie "Brokeback Mountain".

Subject: RE: BS: An Asshole Looks Never Changes
From: Janie
Date: 12 Feb 08 - 12:52 AM

Some people seem to just be born assholes. I don't like 'em, but I can tolerate 'em for short periods of time and try to be charitable in my thoughts.

It's the one's who choose to be assholes that really bring out the natural born asshole in me.

Janie

Subject: RE: BS: An Asshole Looks Never Changes
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Feb 08 - 12:57 AM

That sounds a lot like my uncle. They could have put his picture in the illustrated dictionary next to the word "arrogance".

Subject: RE: BS: An Asshole Looks Never Changes
From: Bryn Pugh
Date: 12 Feb 08 - 04:39 AM

My favourite term for what is described as 'asshole' in this thread -

is an expression I heard Jim Carroll use many years ago -

'prick with ears'.

When are you people going to spell 'arsehole' properly ? :-)

Subject: RE: BS: An Asshole Looks Never Changes
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 12 Feb 08 - 05:35 AM

Reminds me of the circles joke.

Subject: RE: BS: An Asshole Looks Never Changes
From: Louie Roy
Date: 12 Feb 08 - 10:59 AM

One thing you have to watch out for you can get aids from assholes

Subject: RE: BS: An Asshole Looks Never Changes
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 12 Feb 08 - 11:03 AM

Well I'm happy calling the git who USED to sit opposite me an arsehole, because all he ever gives anyone is sh!t. He is so two-faced, he's got an arsehole at each end.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: An Asshole Looks Never Changes
From: Peace
Date: 12 Feb 08 - 11:03 AM

"Look carefully at the two objects below this line:
      O                O

One of the above is your ass and the other is a hole in the ground. Which is which?"

I can't tell the difference, Spaw.

Subject: RE: BS: An Asshole Looks Never Changes
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Feb 08 - 11:13 AM

Me neither. Boy, that's a tough one, eh? I was up half the night trying to figure it out.

Subject: RE: BS: An Asshole Looks Never Changes
From: Louie Roy
Date: 12 Feb 08 - 11:17 AM

As John said if in doubt turn your circle fly loose it is impossible to fool an old circle fly

Subject: RE: BS: An Asshole Looks Never Changes
From: Peace
Date: 12 Feb 08 - 11:28 AM

BTW, Beer, it was great seeing you just after New Years. I forgot to mention at the time that I like your henway. Consider it said.

Subject: RE: BS: An Asshole Looks Never Changes
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Feb 08 - 12:06 PM

Haven't heard that one in a long time.

Okay, I'll say it...

What's a henway?

Subject: RE: BS: An Asshole Looks Never Changes
From: Amos
Date: 12 Feb 08 - 12:22 PM

A henway is usually something female, rarely mentioned in public, I guess; but if Beer has one, he musta borrowed it.


A

Subject: RE: BS: An Asshole Looks Never Changes
From: Louie Roy
Date: 12 Feb 08 - 12:37 PM

A 1936 henways about 4 pounds

Subject: RE: BS: An Asshole Looks Never Changes
From: Beer
Date: 12 Feb 08 - 01:27 PM

Thanks Bruce. I thought it was attractive as well. However it is the last one I have so you can't have it.

Subject: RE: BS: An Asshole Looks Never Changes
From: bobad
Date: 12 Feb 08 - 05:14 PM

From the Urban dictionary:

henway         

when you try to cop dome while playing guitar

c'mon dude, c'mon, seriously.. fucking henway.


Really Bruce? I guess I missed that.

Subject: RE: BS: An Asshole Looks Never Changes
From: Peace
Date: 12 Feb 08 - 05:23 PM

LOL

Subject: RE: BS: An Asshole Looks Never Changes
From: Bill D
Date: 12 Feb 08 - 05:37 PM

I don't need to know about a henway...I would be more concerned about a steinway. They get REALLY heavy.

Subject: RE: BS: An Asshole Looks Never Changes
From: Amos
Date: 12 Feb 08 - 05:53 PM

Definition: about two and a half pounds.

"Hey dude! Do you know where I can get a henway?"
"what's a henway?"
"Oh about two and a half pounds."

Subject: RE: BS: An Asshole Looks Never Changes
From: bankley
Date: 13 Feb 08 - 10:50 AM

Did Hemingway have a henway too ? ...along with his 5-toed cats ?

or is it just a ball park in Boston ?

careful with that shotgun, Papa...

Subject: RE: BS: An Asshole Looks Never Changes
From: Amos
Date: 13 Feb 08 - 10:52 AM

Well, what's a Steinway?

8 ounces, empty, 20 ounces full.


A

Subject: RE: BS: An Asshole Looks Never Changes
From: Donuel
Date: 13 Feb 08 - 10:57 AM

ummmm, the first one?

Subject: RE: BS: An Asshole Looks Never Changes
From: kendall
Date: 13 Feb 08 - 12:48 PM

Fact is, we are all an asshole to someone.

Subject: RE: BS: An Asshole Looks Never Changes
From: Little Hawk
Date: 13 Feb 08 - 01:02 PM

Yes, probably. The only way to avoid it would be to avoid other people entirely. And then you would probably be remembered as "that asshole who lives all alone up there on the hill and won't talk to anyone".

Like Timon of Athens, the famous misanthrope.

Subject: RE: BS: An Asshole Looks Never Changes
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Feb 08 - 03:32 PM

THAT'S what a I want to be when I grow up! A misanthrope!

Subject: RE: BS: An Asshole Looks Never Changes
From: number 6
Date: 13 Feb 08 - 04:36 PM

I think I'd rather be misteranthrope.

biLL

Subject: RE: BS: An Asshole Looks Never Changes
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 14 Feb 08 - 12:52 PM

The office is like a tree full of monkeys. Those on top look down and see smilng faces... those below look up and see nowt but assholes.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: An Asshole Looks Never Changes
From: Donuel
Date: 14 Feb 08 - 01:59 PM

Ass holes can influence the lives of others from beyond the grave.

My Aunt Hattie was an ass hole. She was caught trying to explain to me when I was 4 years old that my daddy was not my real daddy.
She always declared hereslf boss. She ranted how she was right and others were stupid.

She died in the most horrific way a person can die of cancer. She prolapsed out her rectum and survived in that state for many many weeks.

Her assholedom did not end there. This horrorific death lingered in my Dads mind to such an extent that he developed an irrational fear of death so that when my mother had a stroke, he was caiing hospice first thing and conveneing ethics board meetings at the hospital to remove all care or life saving surgury in order to hasten my mother's death, supposedly to minimize her suffering.

Yet when it comes to an incomprehensible amount of human suffering I do believe our President makes Hattie look like a saint.