BS: Did your mum say this to you.....

Subject: BS: Did your mum say this to you.....
From: TRUBRIT
Date: 16 Apr 08 - 12:14 AM

When I was younger, yeah, these many years ago, whenever I looked a mess (not infrequently) my mother would tell me that:

A. I looked like the Wreck of the Hesperus or
B. I looked like the Wild Woman from Borneo or
C. I looked like I had been dragged through a hedge backwards.......

What did your mum used to say to you, and who was the Wild Woman from Borneo anyway.....???? Can anyone help??????

Subject: RE: BS: Did your mum say this to you.....
From: Bee
Date: 16 Apr 08 - 12:45 AM

My Mom did use the Wreck of the Hesperus line, but more often told me to tidy myself up, because I was "all ruppach". I'm pretty sure that's a Gaelic word, spelled as she said it (and so do I).

My brother was a picky eater as a child. My aunt, who lived with us, and had a wicked sense of humour, would gaze intently at his plate, raise her eyes towards the ceiling, and intone "I wonderrr what the puir people are eatin' tonight!" Bothered brother no end until he was old enough to realize she was teasing. Irony: we were the poor people.

Subject: RE: BS: Did your mum say this to you.....
From: Slag
Date: 16 Apr 08 - 12:47 AM

Wild "Man" of Borneo. I think he was supposed to be a circus sideshow attraction back in the day.

Wreck of the Hesperus from the poem=complete destruction.

For us it was "dragged through a knot hole". At that point, I don't believe frontward or backward would make much difference.

How about "Crying in a bucket"!? Why? And why does this phrase enjoy such circulation?

"Oh brother!" Man, that one has been around a while. I wonder if Cain used to say it?

Subject: RE: BS: Did your mum say this to you.....
From: CarolC
Date: 16 Apr 08 - 01:22 AM

"Something the cat dragged in"

Which, now that I think about it, is a really horrible thing to say to someone.

Subject: RE: BS: Did your mum say this to you.....
From: JennieG
Date: 16 Apr 08 - 01:22 AM

My mother used to tell me I looked like something the cat dragged in. Probably through a hedge, backwards - that wasn't said, but it was implied.

Cheers
JennieG

Subject: RE: BS: Did your mum say this to you.....
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 16 Apr 08 - 03:06 AM

noisy as a pacapoo shop

I thought this word came from India in the days of the Raj, but just found out it was a form of Chinese gambling.

dad used to tell us we wouldnt get curly teeth unless we ate our crusts.

sandra (who also looked like something the cat dragged it)

Subject: RE: BS: Did your mum say this to you.....
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 16 Apr 08 - 03:48 AM

My Mum used all those expressions but I guess my Dad was the one for using strange expressions most..........My Dad believed in time travel...as...if I had done something wrong...he believed he could 'knock me into the middle of next week'...........Oh and if I was crying....his favourite expression was...'Shut up or I'll give you something to cry for'.......Aren't parents wonderful?

Subject: RE: BS: Did your mum say this to you.....
From: Slag
Date: 16 Apr 08 - 04:11 AM

You too GS? I heard those all too often!

Subject: RE: BS: Did your mum say this to you.....
From: Bryn Pugh
Date: 16 Apr 08 - 04:31 AM

Yes, and I.

Mama used to say of me when I looked a mess 'you're as rough as a split clog'.

And when I was being naughty, I was 'like a bag of weasels'.

Subject: RE: BS: Did your mum say this to you.....
From: Wyrd Sister
Date: 16 Apr 08 - 05:18 AM

'never in a month of Sundays' and 'face like a week of wet washdays' but not as far as I can remember to me specifically - I was another hedge candidate.

Subject: RE: BS: Did your mum say this to you.....
From: GUEST,LTS pretending to work
Date: 16 Apr 08 - 05:21 AM

My father would say I was in a worse state than Russia...

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Did your mum say this to you.....
From: Dave Sutherland
Date: 16 Apr 08 - 07:13 AM

My Grandad would tell me that I looked like "one o'clock half struck"

Subject: RE: BS: Did your mum say this to you.....
From: GUEST,LTS pretending to work
Date: 16 Apr 08 - 07:19 AM

Ah yes, the 'something to cry for'... my parents used that on me until I learned to respond with 'but I already have something' and displayed the injured limb, spilt drink or broken toy.

My father was alway threatening to 'take my belt off and you'll know what'll happen then?' The response 'Your trousers will fall down' was usually yelled from across the room and accompanied by the sound of running feet!

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Did your mum say this to you.....
From: kendall
Date: 16 Apr 08 - 07:43 AM

My Mother was too much of a lady to say such things, but, some of the more common ones were,
You look like you chased a fart through a keg of nails.
"       "   "   " were dipped in shit and shot for stinking.
"       "       "    " rode hard and put away wet.


More recently, one of my nephews came in dressed as the young ones do these days, and I said to him "Oh, did the Clampetts have a yard sale"?

I used to tease Rebecca about her garb...
"You look like you dressed inside a Goodwill collection box in the dark."

Subject: RE: BS: Did your mum say this to you.....
From: Sorcha
Date: 16 Apr 08 - 08:15 AM

Wild woman from Borneo, cat dragged in, something to cry about, month of Sundays, rode hard, all those.

I was also told 'the starving children in India would love to have that', wild woman going to the out house (what's your hurry?)shut up and enjoy the wilderness, I'll talk to your brain through your butt, I'll kick your butt so hard you'll have to cough to fart.

Subject: RE: BS: Did your mum say this to you.....
From: Ruth Archer
Date: 16 Apr 08 - 08:19 AM

It's funny till someone loses an eye, you know.

Subject: RE: BS: Did your mum say this to you.....
From: Zen
Date: 16 Apr 08 - 08:25 AM

My mother used to say "Why are you making such a song and dance about ...(insert beef of the day)".

Clearly a wise and early attempt to steer me away from the temptations and vicissitudes of folk music...

Zen

Subject: RE: BS: Did your mum say this to you.....
From: Bryn Pugh
Date: 16 Apr 08 - 08:44 AM

I was told that I was in a worse state than China.

As regards my dress code, I got 'who's died and left you that [coat, trousers, tie, gansey, shoon, etc.]

Oh, and the woman two doors down had a face like a yard of pump water.

Subject: RE: BS: Did your mum say this to you.....
From: SINSULL
Date: 16 Apr 08 - 08:56 AM

"and if your friends jumped off the Brooklyn Bridge, would you do it too?"
"...something the cat dragged OUT"
"...hit by the Ugly Stick"

The worst thing I ever heard a mother say to her child:
"You can be replaced by a void."

Subject: RE: BS: Did your mum say this to you.....
From: Sorcha
Date: 16 Apr 08 - 09:00 AM

Oh yes..the Ugly Tree...hit every branch on the way down!

Subject: RE: BS: Did your mum say this to you.....
From: Jeanie
Date: 16 Apr 08 - 09:04 AM

Said by my dad, when I was being fidgety: "What have you got - St.Vitus' Dance ?"

Said by my dad, when I was happily lolling about: "Come on, come on, look lively ! What do you think this is, a rest camp ?"

Said by both parents, when I was pulling faces: "Stop that, or you'll get struck like it." (optional extra: if the wind changes direction).

"That woman has got a face like the back of a bus".
"That woman has got hair like chippolata sausages".
"He's a real micky dripping."
"What a niminypiminy !"

- jeanie

Subject: RE: BS: Did your mum say this to you.....
From: Becca72
Date: 16 Apr 08 - 09:56 AM

"You look like you dressed inside a Goodwill collection box in the dark."   Yeah, I remember that one, Dad. Also "Earrings with a sweater???" said like he was Calvin Klein himself.

My mother used to say "I'll knock you so far into next week your clothes will be out of style" and "come here so I can hit you" yeah, Ma, like I was EVER that stupid.

My favorite comes from my grandmother, Charlotte. When ever any of us would think a bit too highly of ourselves she would say "Who do you think you are slattin' yourself around here, the Queen of Sheba?"

Subject: RE: BS: Did your mum say this to you.....
From: Mrrzy
Date: 16 Apr 08 - 09:58 AM

The horrible part is hearing my parents' words, the ones I *swore* I would never say, coming out of my mouth towards my kids...

Subject: RE: BS: Did your mum say this to you.....
From: Bert
Date: 16 Apr 08 - 10:19 AM

The wild man of Borneo is an orangutan.

Subject: RE: BS: Did your mum say this to you.....
From: topical tom
Date: 16 Apr 08 - 10:31 AM

As a young boy my mother used to cut my hair using scissors and (shudder) hand clippers. When I would cry (as was like every time) my mother would say "If you think this hurts, just wait till you go to the dentist." Those clippers pulled like hell. I believe I would still cry out today at the pain. When I first went to the dentist it was virtually painless, only aching as the novocaine wore off.Thank God parenting has evolved greatly since then!
Let me hasten to say that in other ways my mother was loving and caring. I loved her and still miss her very much.

Subject: RE: BS: Did your mum say this to you.....
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 16 Apr 08 - 10:55 AM

My mother, say 65 to 70 years ago, used. . .

"Close the door! Were you born in a barn?"

"Close the door! We can't heat the whole outdoors!"

And it was "Good Night Nurse!" when aggravated. When she was REALLY aggravated, it was more like "Good!   Night!   Nurse!"   I never figured that one out.

"For cryin' out loud!"

And yes, The Wreck of the Hesperus was there too. And so was the dragged-in cat. And the month of Sundays.

Dave Oesterreich

Subject: RE: BS: Did your mum say this to you.....
From: Bryn Pugh
Date: 16 Apr 08 - 11:23 AM

Anyone bar me get 'the week of years' as well as 'the month of Sundays' ?

Another one from my Puri Dai (Grandmama) was 'a face worse than Crippen's!'

From Mama - 'your bedroom - it's like Muldoon's picnic'.

Subject: RE: BS: Did your mum say this to you.....
From: BuckMulligan
Date: 16 Apr 08 - 11:36 AM

Often heard "Wreck of the Hesperus" and "cat dragged in" occasionally heard I looked like "the dog's dinner" - applied not to attire or dishevelment, more to looking punky-under-the-weather.

Subject: RE: BS: Did your mum say this to you.....
From: kendall
Date: 16 Apr 08 - 12:38 PM

...she has more chins than a Chinese phone book.
Face like a dollars worth of salt pork.
A face that would stop an 8 day clock
"   "    "    " turn a funeral procession up an alley.
She's so ugly the tide won't take her out.

He was so fat you would have to take a lunch to walk around him.

She was so ugly she had to sneak up on the sink to get a drink.

He is so lazy he gets up at 4 am so he'll have a longer day to loaf.

Subject: RE: BS: Did your mum say this to you.....
From: Janie
Date: 16 Apr 08 - 01:40 PM

In our utility bill conscious home, My dad, especially was prone to use the "...born in a barn" saying, as well as "The light switch works both ways."

When we were fidgety, Mom would say, "What's wrong with you girl, you got a worm caught sideways?"

Not from my parents, thankfully, but something my aunt would often yell at her kids   "If you don't stop that right now I'm going to bust you right in the snot locker!"

Subject: RE: BS: Did your mum say this to you.....
From: Becca72
Date: 16 Apr 08 - 01:48 PM

From Uncle Carlton:

"she was so fat I had to go back twice to hug all of her"
"she was so fat she uses Oil of Ole in 40-weight"

Subject: RE: BS: Did your mum say this to you.....
From: Acorn4
Date: 16 Apr 08 - 01:56 PM

Remember to change your underpants,
In case you have an accident,
And the people in the ambulance,
What would they think of me?
And you won't get through those pearly gates,
With your crusties in a two and eight,
So always put on a clean pair every day!

First four lines mum's,
Last four mine just to round it off!

Subject: RE: BS: Did your mum say this to you.....
From: kendall
Date: 16 Apr 08 - 04:32 PM

"Just who do you think you are"? (Like you gotta be sombody to have a problem)!

Mothers can't count. They say, "How many times have I told you..." (Bill Cosby)

Subject: RE: BS: Did your mum say this to you.....
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 16 Apr 08 - 04:36 PM

I've told you a million times...stop exaggerating!!

Subject: RE: BS: Did your mum say this to you.....
From: Herga Kitty
Date: 16 Apr 08 - 04:57 PM

Through a hedge backwards... but if we'd made an effort to look smart, my aunt would say, "My, aren't we posh"!

Kitty

Subject: RE: BS: Did your mum say this to you.....
From: Acorn4
Date: 16 Apr 08 - 05:33 PM

Oh well, I suppose I'll have to suffer in silence as usual!

Subject: RE: BS: Did your mum say this to you.....
From: Don(Wyziwyg)T
Date: 16 Apr 08 - 06:15 PM

"You're always running around,...like a flea in a fit."

"Slow down or you'll meet youself coming back".........WHAT?

"If you go playing on that bombsite and you fall and break your leg, JUST DON'T COME RUNNING TO ME!"

Plus most, if not ALL, of the above

Subject: RE: BS: Did your mum say this to you.....
From: kendall
Date: 16 Apr 08 - 07:41 PM

You're thrashing around like a fart in a mitten.

Subject: RE: BS: Did your mum say this to you.....
From: Sorcha
Date: 16 Apr 08 - 08:40 PM

How about 'No blood, no owie'.
It's a long ways from your heart.
Nobody ever died from that (whatever 'that' currently is/was)
So, your friends'mother allows that? Am I your friends Mother?
You want to do WHAT????
You DO have 'stupid' written on your forehead!
Wanna come home on the end of a razor strop?
Yer not too old to get yer butt beat.
Your boyfriend wants to do WHAT??? How long does he expect to live?
You act like your momma did raise dummies!
He wants to take you WHERE??? for HOW long????

And, honestly, my All Time Favorite from my dad:
Go wash your face.

My 2nd All Time Favorite from Dad:
Tell him just don't try to come in quietly.
(Kendall probably knows what this means)

Reference patchouli oil....you smell like a wet dog.
(I never thought patchouli smelled like a wet dog, do you?)

Subject: RE: BS: Did your mum say this to you.....
From: TRUBRIT
Date: 16 Apr 08 - 10:24 PM

Dressed like a dog's dinner was a (sort of) complimemnt my mum used -- kind of meant looking snazzy but overdone.

Goodness t- this thread has raised some memories......

Subject: RE: BS: Did your mum say this to you.....
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 16 Apr 08 - 11:21 PM

Jeanie. My Mom also used the "St Vitus Dance" comment when I wouldn't sit still. What's up with that? Nobody has had the St Vitus Dance since the Middle Ages have they? Or was there an outbreak in the late 1930s or something?

A friend's Father made this comment to me as I stood in their den : "Ernie, does your Dad work in a glass factory?" After a puzzled moment I said no, and he said "well, I can't see through you, so can you move out from in front of the TV." This had me wondering for quite a while about how my Dad's employment might affect my opacity.

Subject: RE: BS: Did your mum say this to you.....
From: TRUBRIT
Date: 17 Apr 08 - 12:07 AM

I too had the St. Vitus Dance one -- and the 'i'll give you something to cry about....' and the 'i'll give you the back of my hand, girl....'... I also remember very often ' You are not going out in public wearing that are you....? - or words to that effect. Usually spoken in horror in response to a mini skirt -- I used to love wearing those things!!! It is really interesting to read this thread and remember some of the things that were said to us -- some humorous and silly and some downright unkind. I can't imagine people still say things like -- i'll give you something to cry about.......... -- or perhaps I am being naieve and they still do.....

Subject: RE: BS: Did your mum say this to you.....
From: Seamus Kennedy
Date: 17 Apr 08 - 01:23 AM

Re: obscuring someone's view - "You're a pain in the neck, not a pane of glass. Move!"

Seamus

Subject: RE: BS: Did your mum say this to you.....
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 17 Apr 08 - 01:55 AM

My father was alway threatening to 'take my belt off and you'll know what'll happen then?'

NEVER got threatened with "the belt." Daddy was an off-and-on barber and had a BIG razor strop.

[... which was never used in that way except to demonstrate how loud a noise it could make ...]

[[I have a better one now than he had then, but no little kids around to threaten with it.]]

John

Subject: RE: BS: Did your mum say this to you.....
From: Bryn Pugh
Date: 17 Apr 08 - 07:45 AM

From standing in front of the dinlo's dikking-glass (TV) -

You'd make a better door than a window.

Subject: RE: BS: Did your mum say this to you.....
From: topical tom
Date: 17 Apr 08 - 10:23 AM

"If you see too many naked women you'll go blind".I do notice that my eyesight is failing.

Subject: RE: BS: Did your mum say this to you.....
From: Ruth Archer
Date: 17 Apr 08 - 10:39 AM

From Nanny Crump:

She's not backward in coming forward.

Ooooh - hark at you!

(about small children who seem very clever): She's been here before.

You don't get owt for nowt.

Subject: RE: BS: Did your mum say this to you.....
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 17 Apr 08 - 03:08 PM

For the curious, here is the incredible story of the Dancing Plague that rampaged over Europe for two hundred years, also known as the St John's or the St Vitus Dance.

Subject: RE: BS: Did your mum say this to you.....
From: dulcimer42
Date: 17 Apr 08 - 09:44 PM

Her phrase for "Oh, my G"   was "Judas Priest!"   Who can tell me where that phrase came from!! ??

Subject: RE: BS: Did your mum say this to you.....
From: dulcimer42
Date: 17 Apr 08 - 09:45 PM

Someone who thought they were better than the rest of us, Mom would call them "hoity-toity".   Mom had some weird words!