BS: Billy Bass blabs again!

Subject: BS: Billy Bass blabs again!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Aug 08 - 08:57 AM

Well, there was this huge garage sale today at the place across the road with all the storage units, so I got up early and went and took a look. Junk, junk, junk, and more junk. Lots of old VHS movies. CDs of Def Leppard and Ted Nugent. A big Phil Esposito poster, very idealized. Numerous pieces of slightly over the hill furniture.   And more junk.

And then, as I picked my way between some boxes, a recording of some inane song burst forth at my feet. I looked down...and there it was! A genuine, certified Big Mouth Billy Bass on a board, and he was singing for me. As Billy swung his fishy face out in my direction, I could see that he was still in full operating condition. His motion sensors were still working, and had detected my approach, thus causing him to spring into action.

These things of course are quite invaluable and are therefore in great demand. I was tempted to make an immediate offer. But then I remembered that I already have 15 of them at home, all fully operational. Did I really need one more?

I didn't buy the Big Mouth Billy Bass, but bought a coat stand instead and came home. Now I'm tortured by the thought that someone else may buy him.

What should I do?

Subject: RE: BS: Billy Bass blabs again!
From: Peace
Date: 09 Aug 08 - 09:23 AM

Get him, LH. That way you will be able to have four complete quartets instead of five trios or three quintets.

Subject: RE: BS: Billy Bass blabs again!
From: Ernest
Date: 09 Aug 08 - 09:26 AM

Buy him, let him form a choir with the other 15, become their manager and get stinkin` rich when they get their first platinum cd....

;0)
Ernest

Subject: RE: BS: Billy Bass blabs again!
From: catspaw49
Date: 09 Aug 08 - 09:37 AM

They are so near and dear to me that your post saddens me beyond belief. The very thought of a Billy Bass out among the junk..........................***sigh***................................You've gotta' rescue it Hawk!

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Billy Bass blabs again!
From: Amos
Date: 09 Aug 08 - 10:04 AM

Go back, go back!! The owner has not yet been to the landfill.


A

Subject: RE: BS: Billy Bass blabs again!
From: Peace
Date: 09 Aug 08 - 10:05 AM

SAVE BILLY BASS

Subject: RE: BS: Billy Bass blabs again!
From: kendall
Date: 09 Aug 08 - 10:14 AM

You should see Sinsull's dancing chicken! She wound it up contrary to my request and rescued it just as I was drawing a bead on its beady eye.

Subject: RE: BS: Billy Bass blabs again!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Aug 08 - 10:47 AM

Then there's Singing Santa...a perennial favorite on the firing range at the Orillia Gun Club.

Subject: RE: BS: Billy Bass blabs again!
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Aug 08 - 11:01 AM

I am weeping for poor Billy Bass, alone and unwanted, simply because he tries to bring joy and song into the lives of nasty, ungrateful, soporific, unthinking, unappreciative people who are living joyless lives beclouded by the depression of urban life.

Poor Billy! Alone, unwanted, and yet he recognized LH and tried to lighten his miserable life with song and a little humor (or in LH's case, humour). But no, he cheerful attempts are rebuffed and he is rejected and consigned to oblivion by someone who would rather not add another smile-giver to his singing school.

Poor, poor Billy....

Subject: RE: BS: Billy Bass blabs again!
From: maeve
Date: 09 Aug 08 - 01:29 PM

I wonder if I should tell you soft-hearted folks that BB also makes a wicked good hand puppet? Nah, probably shouldn't mention it.

Subject: RE: BS: Billy Bass Ails again!
From: Severn
Date: 09 Aug 08 - 01:58 PM

Hold out for Billy Bari(cuda)tone and the Billie (the fishwife) alto and sopranos. If you have to rescue Fontella Bass instead, change her name. Or do you know how to tune a fish? Billy could be "fixed" to sing likr Frankie Valli! THEN have them sing the Christmas Carols in Harmony, not just bass. Bill it as a rare "Billie Holiday Christmas Album" and run like hell before the pissed off Jazz buffs come after your ass in December. Here to December is a long fuse to light and run.


GO FOR IT!!!!!!!


....and don't let the bass turds get you down!









(cue in Johnny and the Carters).....

"Billy sang bass
Mama sang tuna...."

Subject: RE: BS: Billy Bass blabs again!
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 09 Aug 08 - 02:30 PM

Who, what, why, when, or where is/was Billy Bass?

Dave Oesterreich

Subject: RE: BS: Billy Bass blabs again!
From: SINSULL
Date: 09 Aug 08 - 02:56 PM

You can never have too many singing -dancing- rotating-jumping fish, lobsters, chickens or turkeys. Penguins, on the other hand...
Go get Billy!

Subject: RE: BS: Billy Bass blabs again!
From: Severn
Date: 09 Aug 08 - 03:02 PM

......and don't get fooled by his cheap imitator Kirk, the one with the bass cleft chin mounted on a similarly cleft pallet.

He's the one who sings "A Whale Of A Tale" from "20,000 Leagues" in a strictly minor league (and key) version.....



....And if you don't buy it, he'll just bring it inside again and reinstall it. His long-suffering wife had to perform a bass-ectomy to get him to finally let go of it, so don't give him a second chace. She'll never forget your kindness. You'll be on her Christmas Card list forever!

Subject: RE: BS: Billy Bass blabs again!
From: Severn
Date: 09 Aug 08 - 03:49 PM

Not that LH could refuse anything named Kirk.......

Subject: RE: BS: Billy Bass blabs again!
From: bobad
Date: 09 Aug 08 - 03:52 PM

"Who, what, why, when, or where is/was Billy Bass?"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lTVXfCbos-o

Subject: RE: BS: Bill Blass babbles again! (by design)
From: Severn
Date: 09 Aug 08 - 04:15 PM

Now, Sam Bass had his own folksong, Fontella Bass had her own Hit Song, is there a song for Billy, or is there a confessional singer-songwriter model that can write one (or more or lots more)of and for itself on demand?






Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!......

A singer-songwriter that could be silenced just by pulling the batteries out, Now THERE'S a concept!......

Subject: RE: BS: Billy Bass blabs again!
From: kendall
Date: 09 Aug 08 - 09:00 PM

When Tom Paxton was here we went to dinner, a lobster feed, and afterwards I gave him a singing Lobster and he hasn't spoken to me since.

Subject: RE: BS: Billy Bass blabs again!
From: Peace
Date: 09 Aug 08 - 09:20 PM

Geeze, Kendall, no wonder the lobster don't talk to you!

Subject: RE: BS: Billy Bass blabs again!
From: Peace
Date: 09 Aug 08 - 09:21 PM

You boiled his mate.

Subject: RE: BS: Billy Bass blabs again!
From: Jeri
Date: 09 Aug 08 - 09:21 PM

You know those artists who hang orange cloth over a really big area or spray paint the Statue of Liberty hot pink? I can't remember the name for that type of art, but...

You need to get a bunch more of them Billy Basses and put 'em all in one place. I'm not sure where you'd do it in Canada. If you were in the US, I'd recommend the Capitol building or the White House. The Pentagon might be a good place, but you'd have to sneak in with a tour and if they caught you putting up hundreds of motion-activated singing fish, they'd probably deport you back to Antarctica. So do it, but be careful.

Subject: RE: BS: Billy Bass blabs again!
From: Peace
Date: 09 Aug 08 - 11:34 PM

This is about their employment.

Subject: RE: BS: Billy Bass blabs again!
From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity
Date: 10 Aug 08 - 01:14 AM

Jeri, The artist is Cristos

Subject: RE: BS: Billy Bass blabs again!
From: Jeri
Date: 10 Aug 08 - 09:03 AM

Thanks G from S. The name led me to discover the art is called "installation art".

Subject: RE: BS: Billy Bass blabs again!
From: catspaw49
Date: 10 Aug 08 - 09:13 AM

Yeah, right, I got your installation art right here.............

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Billy Bass blabs again!
From: SINSULL
Date: 10 Aug 08 - 12:06 PM

LOL I have a carload of stuff tyo contribute. Where do I send them?
Only two or three BillyBass, I think...

Subject: RE: BS: Billy Bass blabs again!
From: jacqui.c
Date: 10 Aug 08 - 12:12 PM

And I can contribute a pile of stuff as well, even the one that's still working after Kendall drop kicked it down the hallway.

Subject: RE: BS: Billy Bass blabs again!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Aug 08 - 08:09 PM

Alas! By the time I returned, cash in hand, inclement weather (rain) had brought the garage sale to a premature end. Billy Bass was nowhere to be seen! I don't even know if someone else bought him or not. I may have to wait some time before I get another chance like that. (sob!)

I consoled myself today by triggering all 15 of my Big Mouth Billy Bass fish into singing together, but even that could not life my spirits. Why, oh why did I hesitate!???

Subject: RE: BS: Billy Bass blabs again!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Aug 08 - 08:20 PM

(sigh)

Well, at least some of this stuff can still be had.

Reallly neat stuff!

I'm going out first thing tomorrow and I'm gonna buy a cow.

Subject: RE: BS: Billy Bass blabs again!
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Aug 08 - 08:36 PM

It's okay, LH. Either send me your address or I'll find it out and then I'll send you all sorts of neat-o stuff to soothe your troubled bosoms. Stuff like Billy Bass and Oscar Octopus and the Three Billy Goats Gruff.

Subject: RE: BS: Billy Bass blabs again!
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Aug 08 - 10:48 PM

Hey, LH! There are several sites that will tell you how to hack Billy Bass so that he says other things! You could have Billy say, "Beam me up, Scotty" or even sing "Lucy in the sky" in Big Bill's voice! Or...dare I suggest it?...say, "You are some hunka man!" in Winona Ryder's dulcet tones every time you walk past!

Subject: RE: BS: Billy Bass blabs again!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Aug 08 - 11:37 PM

By God...Rapaire, you are definitely the man with the ideas tonight!

Subject: RE: BS: Billy Bass blabs again!
From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity
Date: 11 Aug 08 - 01:12 AM

Jeri, You're welcome!
Little Hawk, get a bunch of them together, and your favorite leader, and you can start a group...Country Chongo and the Fish

Subject: RE: BS: Billy Bass blabs again!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Aug 08 - 12:51 PM

Hell of an idea there, GfS. Yes, I think that a singing chorus of Big Mouth Bill Bass could do much to spice up Chongo's campaign rallies, specially on the East Coast around Maine and over that way.