BS: Middle Age Dating

Subject: RE: BS: Middle Age Dating
From: kendall
Date: 26 Jan 09 - 08:05 AM

I was born in 1934 and I have not lived my whole life yet.

Subject: RE: BS: Middle Age Dating
From: Janie
Date: 26 Jan 09 - 12:27 AM

I was born in 1951 and have lived all of my life in the States. For me, (and I think this is still pretty common usage) "dating" some one usually, though not always, refers to seeing someone fairly exclusively, but does not indicate the depth of the emotional involvement.   It does not necessarily connote anything at all regarding a present or prospective sexual relationship, but does imply a romantic and/or sexual interest between the couple. The same could be said of "Going out" with someone. "Courting" or being an "item" definitely would indicate a serious level of emotional involvement and commitment.   

While one might say they are going out on a date with some one they are dating or courting, going out on a date might also indicate a much more casual or exploratory planned outing with someone that, at a minimum, includes the possiblity of physical attraction.

Accompanying a platonic friend to a social event would not be called a date, or "going out with" in the era and area where I grew up. I never quite knew what "squiring" meant, but what a great term!

Subject: RE: BS: Middle Age Dating
From: meself
Date: 25 Jan 09 - 10:53 PM

I was born in the 'fifties, and have lived all my life in Canada. The term 'courting' had become obsolete by the time my 'peer-group' was of an age to be speaking of such things, although it was used occasionally among my parents' generation, but more in reference to their own younger days. Other than that, the word 'courting' continues to have a life in academic parlance. 'Squiring' and 'stepping out' are terms that would only be used with humorous intent, the speaker deliberately being 'old-fashioned' (sorry!). As teenagers, we would talk of couples 'going around together' or 'going out'. Into our twenties, 'going out (together)' was the preferred term. We didn't usually speak of couples 'dating'. If someone talked about 'going out on a date', it was generally understood that this was a somewhat formal courtship event, consistent with Richard's definition, usually involving a prospective partner outside of the normal bunch of ne'er-do-wells with whom one bashed about. But it was very much something that implied that the consummation, if it were to occur at all, would take place some time in the vague future. As my generation here has come into middle age, the terms 'date' and 'dating' have been making a comeback, as have the activities themselves.

Curiously, among the twenty-somethings now, 'dating' has become a euphemism for involvement in an ongoing sexual relationship. Among that age-group, 'we started dating in January' can very well mean 'we commenced having on-going sexual relations in January'. Well, maybe this usage pre-dates today's twenty-somethings; I recall many years ago being asked by a street prostitute if I wanted 'a date'.

As for a couple being an 'item', this is an expression which has been current throughout my lifetime, but never the preferred expression. Frequently used only after the speaker has been unable to think of another way of putting it, as in "They've become [brief pause] an item."

Subject: RE: BS: Middle Age Dating
From: Rowan
Date: 25 Jan 09 - 09:13 PM

most populations pack the usual social ills in their cultural quivers; they just decorate them with different feathers.

If I substitute "ills" with "entities" I might get away with asking some questions I think might be relevant.

To me, a member of a particular generation and in Oz, the word "dating" seems to have particularly US meanings attached to it Richard gave his definition as "Dating" is part of a formalised or semi-formalised courtship ritual in which the objectives are either sexual congress or matrimony, sometimes both but I think Lizzie's riposte, while succinct, let the discussion get away with glossing the concept such that "dating" is only one of (possibly) several rituals describable as "courtship". It seems the word "dating", as used in the US carries a connotation of contingent sexual activity.

Is there still a separate meaning associated with "stepping out with ..." or with "courting"?

I might be old-fashioned but I ask because I recall different phrases used in Oz for different types of relationships. If a friend who was female asked you to accompany her to an event, purely as a male companion and with no sexual/emotional intent, you could be described as "squiring her". If she and you were "great mates" who spent a lot of time together with no sexual/emotional intent you could be described as "knocking around together" or even "going out together".

The latter phrase could also be applied to couples who were happily exploring the social and emotional aspects of a relationship but had no particularly formed sexual intent, at least so far. I associate this behaviour as akin to "stepping out" in the US sense and it overlaps (in my understanding) with how I have used the word "courting". You can tell I'm part of the 'ante-pill' generation, if not the 'anti-pill' one.

When I've described the formation of the relationship with the mother of my daughters I've always described it as "courting", as we were happily exploring the social and emotional aspects of a relationship but had no particularly formed sexual intent, at least for the first few months. To me, the term "dating" didn't seem to apply until after our relationship had been consummated; even then we tended to describe our 'coupleness' as "yes, we're an item."

And the rituals by which one establishes any of the above seem to have changed quite a lot, over the years; even a casual invitation for morning coffee (11am, not 6am) can be regarded as an unwelcomed proposition, I've heard.

Just wondering.

Cheers, Rowan

Subject: RE: BS: Middle Age Dating
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 Jan 09 - 02:42 PM

We really need Chongo's input here...

Subject: RE: BS: Middle Age Dating
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 25 Jan 09 - 12:05 PM

I used 2001 as a popular culture illustration, but if you look at Jane Goodall's work, you will recall that she has documented dissent and murder amongst the chimps she studied for years. The bonobo are different, and they are a "sex positive" species that a lot of humans are uncomfortable extending to human behavior. As much as you'd like to compare Polynesians to bonobos, they are humans, not child-like chimp-humans. And as humans, I think you'll find a social complexity that IS present, but simply didn't have the same territorial or cultural markers that the early Europeans would have been looking for.

They may still have gotten along a lot better in their place than Europeans got along in their own; there may have been an entirely different social structure based less on territory and more on a unique origin story and belief system that taught the population how to get along in their environment. This has been seen in American Indian cultures, where religion dedicated this as varied as government and marriage to what and when to plant and when and what to hunt.

That tends (this isn't an absolute) to be one of the benefits of religions growing in a specific (autochthonous) way--a culture learns to balance their impact on the land by practicing rituals that moderate the impact. This can extend to population growth and sexual practices, I am sure. If you're talking about isolated populations where discord could wipe out the population (think Easter Island) with no new blood available to rebuild, then encouraging behaviors that lessen stress and strife is a benefit. This is a general statement, I won't try to offer more specific examples here, but there have been quite a few anthropologists in the field to document some of this. In general, though, I think most populations pack the usual social ills in their cultural quivers; they just decorate them with different feathers.

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: Middle Age Dating
From: Peter T.
Date: 25 Jan 09 - 10:36 AM

Denizens of this thread might want to read this Sunday's New York Times magazine (I'm sure it will be posted, but I can't find it on their site for some reason) on the scientific study of female desire. It is sure to be controversial, involving as it does research into women's fantasies about rape and sex with strangers -- and a whole lot of other stuff involving wires and orgasmatrons (Woody Allen jargon for testing).   It involves Canadian researchers, so you need to be careful!!!!!!!!

yours,

Peter T.

Subject: RE: BS: Middle Age Dating
From: kendall
Date: 25 Jan 09 - 09:04 AM

Sorry SRS, I am not convinced.You mentioned the Chimps in 2001 a space odyssey they were not real. The Bonobo chimps of Africa are quite real. They engage in sex all the time. They use it to keep the peace (No pun intended) to ease tension and jealousy. Everything I have ever read about the islands of the south sea has said much the same thing. Simplicity reigned.Then, along came the poxed sailors and the guilt ridden missionaries. There went the neighborhood.

"When understanding occurs, simplicity reigns." Amos, that is a powerful quote.

Subject: RE: BS: Middle Age Dating
From: Lizzie Cornish 1
Date: 25 Jan 09 - 06:54 AM

Definitely meant well, Richard, and written with a naughty chuckle. :0)

Subject: RE: BS: Middle Age Dating
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 25 Jan 09 - 06:20 AM

I'm sure you meant that well, Lizzie, but I'm not at all sure that I do.

Subject: RE: BS: Middle Age Dating
From: Jeanie
Date: 25 Jan 09 - 06:11 AM

I agree with Janie on this one. From the brief forays I made into Middle Age Dating, I would say that it is at least as complicated as teenage/youthful dating: more so, because there are all of life's responsibilities which come into the picture: children, work, ageing parents to care for etc. etc. etc. I didn't consciously opt out of Middle Age Dating...circumstances just turned out that way and I can't say I particularly regret that, either. Being on my own and getting through all kinds of challenges successfully brought me to my senses that I don't *need* to have a partner in order to lead a happy and fulfilled life. Maybe that's the best lesson that Middle Age Dating can teach you.

I wonder what Elderly Twilight Home Dating could be like ? Pretty good fun, I would guess !

- jeanie

Subject: RE: BS: Middle Age Dating
From: Lizzie Cornish 1
Date: 25 Jan 09 - 05:30 AM

Sounds like you need a Grumpy Ol' Woman to cheer you up, Richard! ;0)

I reckon we need to start up the MAD MUD Agency.

Subject: RE: BS: Middle Age Dating
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 25 Jan 09 - 04:03 AM

Yes, I was being irascible. I'm a grumpy old man.

Subject: RE: BS: Middle Age Dating
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 24 Jan 09 - 11:57 PM

Kendall,

An MS in environmental philosophy. An examination of world views in a second MS (English Lit--my focus was American Indian literature and culture) and how we (Europeans and European Americans) view others and make assumptions about them.

When you start looking at a history of ideas, and how they grow or build, you see patterns emerge. There is a wish for places in the world with idyllic and possibly childlike (in their innocence) inhabitants. Those "Ur" cultures I mentioned. There is a pseudo-anthropological wish that perhaps in the South Pacific, or the Amazon jungles, or various isolated pockets of the world, there might be people who do not have the full range of "enlightened" emotions as the jaded Europeans. Rima in Green Mansions, for example. Children raised by wolves. And innocent cultures on tropical islands.

This in general turns out to be wrong. It's unfair, or calculated based on a different set of symbols. When Columbus "discovered" the new world, he said the people there were naive and childlike, and didn't believe in "God" because they hadn't built churches with spires to dot the horizon. The symbols of the new world transactions and emotions were unrecognizable to Columbus. That doesn't mean that many of the things he was looking for didn't exist. But I think those images of discovery and conquest from Columbus and many others persisted and became part of the cultural lore. Remember the chimps in the beginning of 2001, A Space Odyssey? All of those other cultural things like jealousy and murder and rape are there, if you watch what everyone is doing, and for long enough.

Not all cultures go through the same paradigm shifts, and if they do, not necessarily at the same time. Not everyone in the world was thinking along the lines of the European philosophers and scientists.

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: Middle Age Dating
From: Janie
Date: 24 Jan 09 - 10:28 PM

A far cry from what the Shaker's had in mind, but certainly takes into account the universality of the' principle....
'Tis a gift to be simple
'Tis a gift to be free
'Tis a gift to come down where we ought to be
And when we find ourselves in a place just right,
'twill be in the valley of love and delight.

Subject: RE: BS: Middle Age Dating
From: Amos
Date: 24 Jan 09 - 10:08 PM

Well, Jane-me-luv, I think the missing ingredient is that when understanding occurs, simplicity reigns.

A

Subject: RE: BS: Middle Age Dating
From: Janie
Date: 24 Jan 09 - 09:40 PM

OK. I get it. Middle Age Dating is primarily about sex;>)

Actually, what I get is that Middle Age Dating appears to be as complicated as adolescent dating or young adult dating.

Dating is, I guess, complicated, no matter one's age, because agendas are different, just like people are different.

For the time being, I'm tired of complexity.

Think I'll stay home and mess around on Mudcat.

Subject: RE: BS: Middle Age Dating
From: Rowan
Date: 24 Jan 09 - 09:34 PM

All I can say, frogprince, is that there is a lot of variability in us biological entities. You might be one of the fortunate among us. Long may it be so.

Cheers, Rowan

Subject: RE: BS: Middle Age Dating
From: frogprince
Date: 24 Jan 09 - 09:28 PM

"commonly believed; that, for men, ejaculation is equivalent to orgasm."
Truth be, I've been trying to figure out how you would make a distinction. So far as I can remember, anytime that I've ejaculated, I've felt like I had an orgasm; anytime that anything has thrown my responses off track, so that I haven't happened to ejaculate, I've felt that, while I may have had quite a bit of fun fooling around, I hadn't quite reached orgasm.

Subject: RE: BS: Middle Age Dating
From: Rowan
Date: 24 Jan 09 - 09:15 PM

Your general thesis, LH, is one I totally agree with. Rather than misconstruing your post, I was responding to what I regard (in the context of the thread's topic) as a minor detail that is commonly believed; that, for men, ejaculation is equivalent to orgasm. Perhaps I shouldn't have mentioned it; I wouldn't want it to divert the thread from discussion of M.A.D.

Cheers, Rowan

Subject: RE: BS: Middle Age Dating
From: Janie
Date: 24 Jan 09 - 08:37 PM

Richard m'dear.... are you being irascible?

Subject: RE: BS: Middle Age Dating
From: kendall
Date: 24 Jan 09 - 08:23 PM

SRS, I'm curious. What is your source that contradicts my post?

Subject: RE: BS: Middle Age Dating
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 24 Jan 09 - 08:15 PM

For Flip's Sake

Subject: RE: BS: Middle Age Dating
From: Janie
Date: 24 Jan 09 - 08:00 PM

uhhhhh ( or should that be duhhhhh.....) What does FFS stand for?

Subject: RE: BS: Middle Age Dating
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 24 Jan 09 - 07:24 PM

FFS - examine what you WANT to do, do it and stick two fingers up at the black magicinas who want to control you through guilt. But consider the price.

Subject: RE: BS: Middle Age Dating
From: Janie
Date: 24 Jan 09 - 07:21 PM

Back to topic....

I"m not lonely...but I do sometimes get bored with my own company. However, I am extremely introverted (though not particularly shy,) and am so busy with work, raising a child, and taking care of chores that when I do have free time, I need it to recharge my own batteries.   Only then, sometimes I get bored with my own company.

Oh dear, what's a girl to do?

Subject: RE: BS: Middle Age Dating
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Jan 09 - 01:15 PM

To put it another way: Sex is a brief, transitory experience. Love is something that can last a lifetime.

Subject: RE: BS: Middle Age Dating
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Jan 09 - 01:02 PM

Rowan, I think you misconstrued the tone in which I wrote that line you quoted. Read the post again. I was making the same point you seem to wish to make...that the emotional connection between two people is what makes it all worthwhile. The physical aspects are prosaic....everyone experiences them...they are unremarkable in themselves...what is remarkable is the emotional (and spiritual) connections that are established in a genuinely caring relationship.

Subject: RE: BS: Middle Age Dating
From: Amos
Date: 24 Jan 09 - 12:18 PM

THere is nothing irrational about emotion.

Emotion often accompanies irrationality, and it is usually misplaced or mistimed emotion, relating to things that are not in the present.

That's irrational emotion. But the real present is rich with emotion that rings the chimes of the moment, rivers of it, totally appropriate, totally responsive to the now, and totally rational. That does not mean reduced to analytical propositions. It means relating to the real in the moment. It does not mean suppressed into equations or buried in restrained language. It means alive.



A

Subject: RE: BS: Middle Age Dating
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 24 Jan 09 - 11:40 AM

In the south sea islands before the whalers and missionaries invaded those tropical paradises crime was unknown. Rape was unknown, juvenile delinquency was unknown, as was jealousy.

Kendall, this is an Ur-style Garden of Eden description, held up as a pre-European world template, but it just isn't so. Don't labor under the impression that only the "civilized" world managed to mess things up. There are plenty of other cultures that managed to live and die without European help, and their sexual practices were no doubt part of it. The other view suggests that with our complexity and civilisation comes our social ills. (Europeans after The Enlightenment still need to get over themselves.)

We take opportunities to talk about life, including sex, when they arise in the context of life going on around us. Often times when watching films together subjects will come up that we can discuss (but not belabor, or you miss the point) germane subjects.

I wouldn't begin to rely on the schools for this. The entire state of Texas is still under the thrall of conservative religiously-oriented "leaders" who think that teaching youth about abstinence is effective sex education. I've always told my kids that their bodies are temples so take good care of them, and take good care of their hearts. So far, so good, in the serial relationship department. Stay friends with your former dates, if possible, it's better for both of you and good practice in general. Again, so far, so good.

As a divorced mother of two I went in to my ob/gyn a while back and arranged a new method of contraception. The nurse piped up with the line that "abstinence is best. . ." and I cut her off. "I know you're probably obligated to pronounce that nonsense, but I'm a 45-year-old woman and I'm not here to talk to you about abstaining from sex." She laughed and took care of my request. My point is, she shouldn't have even bothered with that nonsense, it's unrealistic and uninformative. Better to teach people how to choose good partners and how to protect themselves in a reasonable manner.

We pay for my college-age daughter's health care and her Rxs because we want to be sure that they are freely available and used. Openness to this topic is important, and you don't get there by being silly about it.

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: Middle Age Dating
From: GUEST,Bob Ryszkiewicz
Date: 24 Jan 09 - 11:08 AM

Hi Kids: It was cold here in Montreal last night. Friday. The chance came to be with my beautiful Mamacita, so I invited her over for an afternoon brunch. As the fondue began bubbling, we lit candles as the fireplace provided the atmosphere.

Garlic bread goes great with fondue and a salad. Highly recommended. The wine was called "MUST" with one of them thar "umblatas" ;0) over the "U". Fruity and tasty...

We ate like bears and spent the whole day and most of the evening in bed. Glorious rest and relaxation...

Then, as we're hibernating like bears in winter, she whispers in my ear, "Jello". I'm thinking, "Jello"? She says, "Yes(pronounced "Jess") , when I die, I want to come(kom) back(bik) as a little yellow(jello) bird(beeird)." Silly me, forgetting to translate her Spanish accent.

Anyways, she just phoned me now to give me a kiss through the phone and I wish we could spend another 10 hours together like yesterday....Why am I so lucky to have a beautiful woman, 13-14 years my junior with me? The hand of God my friends, the hand of God...

bob

Subject: RE: BS: Middle Age Dating
From: kendall
Date: 24 Jan 09 - 09:12 AM

In the south sea islands before the whalers and missionaries invaded those tropical paradises crime was unknown. Rape was unknown, juvenile delinquency was unknown, as was jealousy.
So, what did our enlightened ancestors give them? Guilt, sexually transmitted diseases and poverty. Their culture was destroyed and they ended up like our native Americans.

So, humans and certain apes have the gift of enjoying sex anytime they wish. The apes don't have to worry about consequences. We do.Only those of us who care about what we do take responsibility for our actions. Sure, nature says, "Do it." Our civilization says "Do it, but take responsibility for the outcome including the offspring." Ah, there's the rub.

Subject: RE: BS: Middle Age Dating
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 24 Jan 09 - 03:48 AM

Nice piece of poetry.

I don't deny that emotions exist.

I do assert that sex is close to vitally important in the forming and maintenance of romantic attachments.

I also fear that many, mostly women, have been conditioned into a state of guilt about sexuality that does them no good at all (on balance).

Of course, at my age and girth (where the waistline ought to be) the subject matter of this thread is pretty well 100% a moot interest, but I'd really rather see people happy than screwed up by all the baggage, some set out above, and some hinted at above.

Subject: RE: BS: Middle Age Dating
From: Rowan
Date: 24 Jan 09 - 01:07 AM

What is he thinking of? Temperature and friction.
and
You get an erection. You place it in slot "V" and move it back and forth until reaching orgasm.

Both made me wonder whether we've been conned by the rationalists who, in schools, are responsible "that so many kids today are taught/told far more about 'sex' tan they are about 'love'."

Lizzie's concern is one I share but it seems that schools are required to teach (or at least subscribe to the notion that they're teaching) on the basis of rationality rather than of feelings and or emotions, so I doubt schools will change much or soon. And the above quote is the only one of LH's on this thread that I'd question. Even for blokes there is a clear distinction (in my experience) between ejaculation and orgasm; perhaps it was because of my emotional engagement that I was able to experience the difference.

From Richard's posts on the thread I get the impression of an ultra-rationalist, and I confess (and hope) I may be completely mistaken. He may be thinking, though, of the following.

A hand reaches out
to another.
A helping hand can
be strong, firm, gentle.

A tentative move
of one to another
can send
so many signals.

The first touch
can be electric
in its impact;
such power!

The world hangs
by a thread;
twisting, turning
on that touch.

Is the first move
rejected,
the other's hand
withdrawn?

Is the touch
received
with cool
reserve?

Is the touch
returned
with growing
warmth?

Hands gently
wrap,
entwine;
rapt.

Fingers interlocked
show intent,
however far away
in future,
of love's
consummation.

Cheers, Rowan

Subject: RE: BS: Middle Age Dating
From: kendall
Date: 23 Jan 09 - 11:30 PM

What happened to all that Lizzie? In a word, equality. It has taken a nasty turn.

In schools they can't really teach love, but they damn well could teach responsibility and consequences.

Subject: RE: BS: Middle Age Dating
From: Janie
Date: 23 Jan 09 - 06:59 PM

Damn! I think back to my sisters and I lying baking in the back yard, slathered in suntan lotion, waving away the bugs and waiting expectantly for the radio ditty to sound out "Time to turn - so you won't burn!) between Beachboy and Motown top 40's.

All that work for a tan, when sex would have accomplished the same thing in a fraction of the time.

And we thought we knew it all in the 60's ;^)

Subject: RE: BS: Middle Age Dating
From: Lizzie Cornish 1
Date: 23 Jan 09 - 06:46 PM

Kendall, that was *very* funny. :0)

* * * * * * *


It fair incenses me that so many kids today are taught/told far more about 'sex' tan they are about 'love'. It's become, for so many of our young people, little more than a bodily function, to be had with anyone and everyone who's willing and if you can't recall their name in the morning, oh well...never mind...there'll be another along come evening. Gee Whizz! Where did we let go of self respect, gentleness, responsibility, spirituality...and Love?

Subject: RE: BS: Middle Age Dating
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 23 Jan 09 - 06:09 PM

In fact, come to think of it, in one generation life could be extinct.

Or were you expecting a joke about "moan"?

Subject: RE: BS: Middle Age Dating
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 23 Jan 09 - 06:08 PM

Blame? Without them life would be rather dull, and dating pointless.

Subject: RE: BS: Middle Age Dating
From: Diva
Date: 23 Jan 09 - 02:47 PM

Richard B...hormones...its hormones are to blame!!!!!!

Diva......putting head back below the paraphet

Subject: RE: BS: Middle Age Dating
From: kendall
Date: 23 Jan 09 - 12:38 PM

Why men don't write advice columns.

Dear Walter:

I hope you can help me here. The other day, I set off for work leaving my husband in the house watching the TV as usual. I hadn't gone more than a mile down the road when my engine conked out and the car shuddered to a halt. I walked back home to get my husband's help. When I got home I couldn't believe my eyes. He was in our bed with the lady who lives next door. I am 32, my husband is 34, and we have been married for twelve years. When I confronted him, he broke down and admitted that they had been having an affair for the past six months. I told him to stop or I would leave him. He was let go from his job six months ago and he says he has been feeling increasingly depressed and worthless. I love him very much, but ever since I gave him the ultimatum he has become increasingly distant. He won't go to counselling and I'm afraid I can't get through to him anymore.

Can you please help?
Sincerely, Sheila
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dear Sheila:

A car stalling after being driven a short distance can be caused by a variety of faults with the engine. Start by checking that there is no debris in the fuel line. If it is clear, check the vacuum pipes and hoses on the intake manifold and also check all grounding wires. If none of these approaches solves the problem, it could be that the fuel pump itself is faulty, causing low delivery pressure to the carburettor float chamber.

I hope this helps.
Walter _______________________________________________

Subject: RE: BS: Middle Age Dating
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 Jan 09 - 11:28 PM

The biggest sex organ is unquestionably the brain, Richard. ;-)

Yes, we have animal bodies and an animal biological structure, but we also have a number of mental complexities that seem to set us apart from animals. We worry about the future and the past. We build all kinds of extraordinary things and invent new things. We keep track of our past history and concoct new philosophies. We read and write. That suggests to me that animals are our relatives, yes, but that we've moved into a somewhat different mode of existence from most of them, if not all of them. Why that is, is debatable, but we may not just be animals, we may be something more than animals by now.

But here's an interesting story about the part the head can play for animals too.

I once took care of many rabbits. The females and males were kept apart after reaching adulthood (although you can keep many females together in harmony, you can't with the males, they get into fights all the time). At any rate, the mature females and males got their own cages and when a female was willing you would put a male rabbit in her cage to breed and produce some more rabbits. This worked only if she was willing. If she wasn't, she just didn't cooperate and there was nothing he could do about it (though he might try his hardest). Well, we had one young female rabbit who was simply not willing for some reason. Not at any time, and that was unusual! The male rabbits found it unusual too, and they developed an obsession about her. They all wanted specially to be with that one female. She had become immeasureably desirable in their eyes...simply because she kept saying "no" and no one had succeeded with her yet. It was easy enough to tell from the way those male rabbits acted when taken anywhere near her cage that they were desperate to have sex with "the princess" rather than with the other females. Oh, they were definitely willing to have sex with the others any time...but they were all hoping for the holdout.

Now, isn't that a lot like human psychology? The one thing people always want is the one thing no one can get. Those rabbits were acting just like people do.

She finally gave in one day, and the male rabbit who was with her at the time just about had a heart attack. His lucky day, I guess. All the other males were pretty chagrined about the whole thing, I would presume....green with jealousy.

Subject: RE: BS: Middle Age Dating
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 22 Jan 09 - 11:02 PM

Of course people have different concerns, aspirations, and so on. And the biggest sex organ in the body is the brain (well, I suppose the biggest erogonous zone might be the skin) - but those are all overlays and add-ons.

As a result - temperature and friction - plus the whatever, which might be romantic love, or it might be whatever your particular head game is - is going to seem preferable. We might be intelligent animals, or animals with moral sets, but we are still animals.

Subject: RE: BS: Middle Age Dating
From: Janie
Date: 22 Jan 09 - 10:07 PM

Just saw your correction and note, Joe of the Big Blue Eyes;-)

Subject: RE: BS: Middle Age Dating
From: Janie
Date: 22 Jan 09 - 09:49 PM

My exposure to all the wonderful artists on Mudcat seems to have stimulated my creativity inmany areas of my life, including spelling.

Let's make that "precedes."

Subject: RE: BS: Middle Age Dating
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 Jan 09 - 03:25 PM

They're not necessarily deceiving themselves, Richard, they just have a number of differing concerns in mind, that's all. Everyone else isn't the same as you.

It's a unique case in every case. This is confirmed by the fact that different people react differently to the same basic incident (on a physical level). Yes, they all go through a basically very similar physical experience (which is what you appear to be talking about), but they interpret it differently in an emotional sense. How they interpret it is on the basis of belief and emotion and memory tied to emotion.

As you grow up, you absorb emotional impressions. They are what underlies your belief system. You will use your belief system to interpret the meaning of a physical experience.

Your belief system is clearly different from mine, for instance, so our interpretations of sex are quite different...although on a purely physical level, it's basically the same scenario for both of us. You are attracted to someone. You get an erection. You place it in slot "V" and move it back and forth until reaching orgasm. Big deal, eh? ;-) When put in merely physical terms, it sounds about as exciting as tightening a loose bolt on the snowblower...all just a matter of applied torque and friction, nothing more... ;-)

It's the non-physical aspects of sex, Richard, that raise the prosaic physical act itself (which any idiot can manage) into a truly sublime experience. (grin)

And you think I'm deceiving myself? Well, fine, mate. I think you're deceiving yourself too, but I prefer my way to yours, so I think I'll stick with it.

Subject: RE: BS: Middle Age Dating
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 22 Jan 09 - 03:02 PM

Yuck.

Subject: RE: BS: Middle Age Dating
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 22 Jan 09 - 02:50 PM

What is he thinking of? Temperature and friction.

And an honest woman? The same.

So many people deceiving themselves!

Subject: RE: BS: Middle Age Dating
From: GUEST,Dani
Date: 22 Jan 09 - 06:54 AM

Yup, and an antidote is what is needed when it doesn't work out.

Dani

Subject: RE: BS: Middle Age Dating
From: Janie
Date: 21 Jan 09 - 10:05 PM

I guess an antedote is what immediately preceeds doting on some one?