Old Fart Songs

Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs
From: dick greenhaus
Date: 09 Feb 09 - 05:49 PM

Golden Wedding Day
The Good Boy
Silver Threads (the original, not the parody quoted above)

Subject: Lyr Add: GONE HOME (Bill Carlisle)
From: Kenny B (inactive)
Date: 09 Feb 09 - 07:11 PM

Hi Fossil
"Get away old man get away"
is in the digitrad under G as "Get away old man"

The songs "Last train to Glory" and

Gone Home ASB John Herald of the Green Brial Boys
lyrics & Music by Bill Carlisle
All of my friends that I loved yesterday
Gone home (they have gone home)
Gone home (they have gone home)
The songbird that sings in the dale seems to say
Gone home (they have gone home)
Gone home (they have gone home)

Chorus…., They've joined the heavenly fold
          They're walking the streets of pure gold
          They left one by one
          As their work here was done
          Gone home (they have gone home)
          Gone home (they have gone home)

Life here is lonely since they've gone before
Gone home (they have gone home)
Gone home (they have gone home)
The old weeping willow that stands by the door
Gone home (they have gone home)
                Gone home (they have gone home)    [chorus]

All of my friends that I loved yesterday
Gone home (they have gone home)
Gone home (they have gone home)
The songbird that sings in the dale seems to say
Gone home (they have gone home)
               Gone home (they have gone home)   [chorus]

From the review of Johm Heralds CD "Roll on John"
Gone Home - a song by Bill dealing with the passing on of good friends. A quite powerful song and not at all maudlin. According to the notes, Herald first heard this song performed by Flatt & Scruggs, but had the song also in a copy of the Bill Clifton Song Book put out in the fifties.

Kenny B

Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs
From: Joe_F
Date: 09 Feb 09 - 07:46 PM

doc.tom: I apologize to the shades of Cyril Tawney & Ewan MacColl, of blessed memory, for confusing them.

Subject: Lyr Add: FREEWHEELING (Jim Reid)
From: Tattie Bogle
Date: 09 Feb 09 - 08:30 PM

First heard this in my early 40s, when 50 (half a hunner) seemed awfully old: now it really seems quite juvenile!
You can change the age to suit any level of Old Fartdom too!

FREEWHEELING                        by Jim Reid

I'm getting ower the hill it seems, though my hert it still feels young,
They say when half a hunner's here, your flings should a' be flung.
But I've some flungs I've yet tae fling afore I ends ma days,
And so I don't want to hear you say that "Old, he's past it" phrase.

Chorus
Freewheeling noo, Freewheeling noo, gets easier every day,
Just tak it slow, where'er ye go, freewheeling doon the brae.

I used tae climb the highest hill, I used tae dae sae weel,
But the view is bonnie, e'en frae here, ye're jist as high as ye feel.

Chorus
Freewheeling noo, Freewheeling noo, gets easier every day,
Just tak it slow, where'er ye go, freewheeling doon the brae.

My eyes are gettin' dimmer noo, and specs I ought tae wear,
But there's some things I see clearer noo, and ye cannae ask for mair.

Chorus
Freewheeling noo, Freewheeling noo, gets easier every day,
Just tak it slow, where'er ye go, freewheeling doon the brae.

We've a' tae go a different road, though it may seem hard sometimes,
So let's try to help oor neebour tae get ower his stiffest climbs.

Chorus
Freewheeling noo, Freewheeling noo, gets easier every day,
Just tak it slow, where'er ye go, freewheeling doon the brae.
Freewheeling noo, Freewheeling noo, gets easier every day,
Just tak it slow, where'er ye go, freewheeling doon the brae.

Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs
From: Jack Campin
Date: 09 Feb 09 - 08:42 PM

There are few verses of "Sucky bids me" adapted to love in an eventide home by Samuel Beckett, in "Malone Dies". They're all about going hand in hand to the cemetery.

They manage to have it off by him folding his dick in half to get it in. Then she turns yellow and dies. I don't think Hallmark would have asked Beckett to design a Valentines card.

Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs
From: Gulliver
Date: 09 Feb 09 - 09:32 PM

"What used to be my sex appeal
Is now my water spout"

Author unknown (?).

Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs
From: Gurney
Date: 09 Feb 09 - 11:27 PM

Kiwi one: Bushman's Lament/Rimu and Rata.
English Trad. The Life of a Man.
English trad-like. Wind Up My Clock.

Not sure of the correct title of any of these, they're not in my repertoire. I could find out if anyone is interested.

Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs
From: BB
Date: 10 Feb 09 - 03:13 PM

I think the last one is already mentioned above as 'Take Your Time' by Pete Munday.

There's one called 'Time, Time, Time' that Jeff Wesley, amongst others, sings.

Barbara

Subject: Lyr Add: MY GOOD OLD MAN (from Burl Ives)
From: Mo' Handy
Date: 10 Feb 09 - 07:30 PM

I suppose that My Good Old Man (Richard Dyer-Bennett, Burl Ives) qualifies as an old fart song. The anonymous author no doubt felt that one could be an old fart, even if dead. Maybe the fact that the woman does all the talking has something to do with it . . .

Where are you a'going, my good old man?
Where are you a'going, my honey, my lamb?
Hunting.

When are you coming back, my good old man?
When are you coming back, my honey, my lamb?
Saturday.

Well, what do you want for your supper, my good old man?
What do you want for your supper, my honey, my lamb?
Eggs.

Well, how many of 'em do you want, my good old man?
How many of 'em do you want, my honey, my lamb?
A bushel.

But a bushel will kill you, my good old man.
A bushel will kill you, my honey, my lamb.
I don't mind.

Well, where do you want to be buried, my good old man?
Where do you want to be buried, my honey, my lamb?
In the chimney corner.

But the ashes will fall on you, my good old man.
The ashes will fall on you, my honey, my lamb.
Don't care if they do.

Well, what are you going to do then, my good old man?
What are you going to do then, my honey, my lamb?
I'll haint ya.

But a haint can't haint a haint, my good old man.
A haint can't haint a haint, my honey, my lamb.

Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs
From: topical tom
Date: 11 Feb 09 - 05:35 PM

Thanks for all these songs! What a great collection to listen to! Damn good work for old farts! (me too!) lol

Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs
From: Joe_F
Date: 11 Feb 09 - 08:41 PM

"Time, gentlemen, time" surely also qualifies.

Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs
From: Charley Noble
Date: 11 Feb 09 - 10:40 PM

C. Fox Smith composed several poems that have been rendered into songs that would seem to qualify.

Mariquita: click here for lyrics and MP3 sample!

There's also "Admiral Dugout, " "Shipkeeper," and "Mainsail Haul."

The ultimate old fart song might be "The Blow at Witch's Hole" which is somewhere in the Mudcat threads as a song challenge (Methane Sinks Ships).

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs
From: topical tom
Date: 14 Feb 09 - 09:04 AM

"Mariquita: Thanks for the link. That's a really nice song, Charley.

Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs
From: Charley Noble
Date: 14 Feb 09 - 09:21 AM

Topical Tom-

You're more than welcome!

I'm not sure where I got the tune; it's a composite but I'm not sure where all the elements are from other than "Rosen the Beau."

Charley Noble

Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs
From: Midchuck
Date: 14 Feb 09 - 09:33 AM

"A Couple More Years", written by Shel Silverstein & Dennis Locorriere; recorded by Dr. Hook and by Willie Nelson.

Peter

Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs
From: Tattie Bogle
Date: 26 Feb 09 - 09:13 PM

Somebody sang this one at the Middle Bar Singers' winter reunion last weekend: here is is, sung by lyric author, John Conolly, obviously based on the "Hard Times of Old England" but now becomes "the Grumpy Old Men of Old England".

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N0joRysAQ84

Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs
From: Artful Codger
Date: 26 Feb 09 - 11:27 PM

"Old Friends" by Simon & Garfunkel - still chokes me up...

And "Eleanor Rigby" (sp?) by the Beatles

"On Board a 98"?

Subject: Lyr Add: SHADY ACRES (Janis Ian)
From: bobad
Date: 26 Feb 09 - 11:48 PM

Shady Acres
Janis Ian

So you've grown tired of your parents always hanging around
Now they spoil your children and having grandparents is out
Yes, and they raised you well but you wish to hell
That they'd go away so you wouldn't have to pay for their food,
Forget all the years when they paid for you.

Chorus
Send your mother to Shady Acres, send your father to Shady Acres,
We'll take good care of them, you won't be aware of them,
Send them to Shady Acres.

Well if one of them's dead, don't worry your head, we have a matchmaker
They can sit down and kvetch on the rest home steps while watching Green Acres
Yes, if you don't want to visit, well there's no requisite
We have foster sons and daughters to help all our boarders stop feeling blue
Keep the checks coming and we won't bother you.

Chorus

Yes, here it's so peaceful, they die while they're sleeping, yes, right in their beds
Now there's no need for worry, we have our own mortuary and a beautiful cemetery
Yes, we are good people, who care for the feeble
We've devoted or lives to the husbands and wives
Who don't want their fathers around to be bothers
So send 'em, we're respectable, and tax deductible.

Final Chorus
Send your mother to Shady Acres, send you father to Shady Acres,
We'll take good care of them because we love them,
Send them to Shady Acres.

Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs
From: GUEST
Date: 27 Feb 09 - 05:24 AM

Is "The wind That shook The Barley" a REAL 'old fart' song?


I'll get me incontinence pads

Mike

Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 27 Feb 09 - 08:15 AM

OLDER'N EVERYBODY by Lou & Peter Berryman.

OLD LOVE by Neal and Leandra.

Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs
From: topical tom
Date: 27 Feb 09 - 08:59 AM

Thanks a lot, Jim, for that link to Lou and Peter Berryman singing "Older'n Than Everybody". I love their songs; always good for a laugh.Thanks also for all the neat songs contributed to this thread.

Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs
From: GUEST
Date: 27 Feb 09 - 11:37 AM

Kieran Halpin's poignant 'Port of Call'


No 60 year old sailor is wanted on the sea
No 40 years of sailing will get them to agree.......

And all those years of working
were they worth it after all
when there's only one more voyage
just one more port of call


Apologies if I've remembered the odd word incorrectly.

Subject: Lyr Add: OLD FARTS IN CARAVAN PARKS (J Williamson)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 27 Feb 09 - 12:45 PM

Found in a blog:


OLD FARTS IN CARAVAN PARKS
John Williamson

Oh, happy travellers are we,
Around Australia in a caravan.
The kids are gone. we have no plan.
You navigate on your engine, man.
Yes, happy campers are we.

And king of the road are we.
Up a mountain road we wind
With a mile of traffic stuck behind.
Two friendlier folk you wouldn't find.
Oh, cheery old chooks are we.

We hit the road and sold the home,
Like a pair of drovers round we roam.
No more winter and no more phone.
We're wild and fancy free,
And a pair of toilers are we.

We'll pick fruit or prune a tree.
Any old job, doesn't worry me.
It'll cover our fuel and the camping fee.
Frugal old farts are we.

And a dear old chook are you,
In your terry towelling dressing gown,
The one you bought in the country town.
Yours is pink and mine is brown.
Threadbare old farts are we.

Oh, jeez! We'll have to pull up again soon, darling.

And a tidy little unit are we.
Everything has a place to be:
A jar of coffee and a tin of tea,
A life for two but not for three.
Oh, sexy old tarts are we.

And we always camp just near the loo
Cos I have to go at midnight too.
Dribble dribble dribble dribble's all I do.
Ah, over the hill are we.

Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs
From: brezhnev
Date: 27 Feb 09 - 05:54 PM

leonard cohen's tower of song - "my friends are gone and my hair is grey, I ache in the places where I used to play..."

Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 28 Feb 09 - 05:12 PM

We've been down this road before, it seems:

Songs about getting older?
Songs about getting really old?
Songs about young and old
Songs about birthdays and/or age
Searching For Retirement Songs
Songs about getting really old - 2
Song for retirement party?
Songs about retirement
Geezer Music

Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs
From: Genie
Date: 01 Mar 09 - 03:23 AM

I haven't yet figured out whether this song is about old songs about fart(s) (ing) or about songs for and by people who could be called old farts.

???

Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs
From: Artful Codger
Date: 02 Mar 09 - 08:09 PM

Then maybe senility's setting in, Genie. ;-}

Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs
From: topical tom
Date: 02 Mar 09 - 11:26 PM

The thread is the definition that you wrote plus songs ABOUT those who could be called old farts.

Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs
From: catspaw49
Date: 02 Mar 09 - 11:53 PM

Obviously more than a few old farts on this thread since several songs have multiple mentions with the subsequent posters seemingly noy realizing their song was already listed....>LOL>.....Sure sign of OFS (Old Fart Syndrome).

One song with repeated mentions is "When You and I Were Young (Maggie)", a wonderful old chestnut which was also suggested by Sandy Paton as the greatest love song of all time on a long ago love song thread. It certainly fits both categories.........

Aging and Love are powerful themes but when combined can be almost overwhelming..........I know that as I've gotten older its almost impossible to sing this one without tears.........

And now we are aged and grey, Maggie
The trials of life nearly done
Let us sing of the days that are gone, Maggie
When you and I were young.


Spaw

Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs
From: Fossil
Date: 03 Mar 09 - 03:02 AM

Just re-visited this thread. Thanks JoeClones, there are the complete words to a song ("Get Away Old Man" - see above) that has been hovering in the back of my consciousness for more than 40 years now! Another one of the myriad reasons why I stay a Mudcatter!

Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs
From: BB
Date: 03 Mar 09 - 12:19 PM

That made me feel quite tearful. At Matt Armour's funeral last Thursday, his 80-year old sister Margaret spoke, and was saying that, at her birthday celebration, Matt sang 'When you and I were young, Maggie.' So not necessarily to be sung to a partner...

Barbara

Subject: Lyr Add: TOO POOPED TO POP (Chuck Berry)
From: Trommel
Date: 03 Mar 09 - 03:55 PM

"Too Pooped to Pop", Chuck Berry

Casey is an old man who wants to be a teen
He goes to all the dances and they call him cha-cha king
He cha-chas when the band is playin' rock and roll
He tries to keep in time but the beat leaves him cold.

(Chorus):
Because hes too pooped to pop, too old a soul
Hips gettin' weaker when he tries to do the stroll
And every time his feet get to go in one way
Here comes a new dance and its goin' to stray.

Chicks told Casey, You better move man,
This is only a one night stand
Casey wasn't in time but he was dancin' awhile
Till a cramp caught his leg and he had to change his style.
2x Chorus

Casey finally learned to do the hoochie koo
This might have been fine back in '22
Now, I'm gonna give you fellows just a little tip
If you wanna keep your girl you'd better get hip

Or, you'll be too pooped to pop, too old a soul
You hips are gettin' weaker when you'll try to do the stroll
And every time your feet gettin' to go in one way
Here comes a new dance you'll be left to stray.

Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs
From: JennieG
Date: 03 Mar 09 - 07:34 PM

Not a song, but here is a poem "Warning" by Jenny Joseph:
        
When I am an old woman I shall wear purple
With a red hat which doesn't go, and doesn't suit me.
And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves
And satin sandals, and say we've no money for butter.

I shall sit down on the pavement when I'm tired
And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells
And run my stick along the public railings
And make up for the sobriety of my youth.
I shall go out in my slippers in the rain
And pick flowers in other people's gardens
And learn to spit.

You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat
And eat three pounds of sausages at a go
Or only bread and pickle for a week
And hoard pens and pencils and beermats and things in boxes.

But now we must have clothes that keep us dry
And pay our rent and not swear in the street
And set a good example for the children.
We must have friends to dinner and read the papers.

But maybe I ought to practice a little now?
So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised
When suddenly I am old, and start to wear purple.

Cheers
JennieG

Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs
From: BobKnight
Date: 09 Mar 09 - 04:28 PM

"Time Tears Awa'" a fine Scottish song, and a Country song from, I think, Toby Keith. "I'm Not As Good As I Once Was, But I'm As Good Once As I Ever Was."

Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs
From: BobKnight
Date: 09 Mar 09 - 04:31 PM

Sorry, that should be "Time Wears Awa'"

Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs
From: bseed(charleskratz)
Date: 09 Mar 09 - 04:53 PM

It's rather interesting that "When You and I Were Young, Maggie" was written by a man in his early twenties for his 19-year-old fiancee who was dying of tuberculosis.

I don't think I saw a mention of John Prine's "Hello In There."

And, of course, there is "Grammaw's in the Cellar":

Oh, Grammaw's in the cellar
Oh, Lordy, can't you smell her
Bakin' biscuits on her damned old dirty stove
In her eye there is some matter
That keeps dripping in the batter
And she whistles while the (sniff) runs down her nose

Down her nose
Down her nose
Yes, she whistles while the (sniff) runs down her nose
In her eye there is some matter
That keeps dripping in the batter
And she whistles while the (sniff) runs down her nose

Charles (one of the older farts around)

Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs
From: Genie
Date: 09 Mar 09 - 05:50 PM

Codger: "Then maybe senility's setting in, Genie. ;-}"

Nah. I think it set in a few years back, Codg.

Ennyhoo, it seems we have songs written OF the old farts, BY the old farts, and FOR the old farts, right?
Abe Lincoln would be so proud.

(And, yeah, we do already have threads in all those categories, so I won't re-list the ones from those threads.)

Gotta go.   I have to go sing for and with a bunch of old farts (and a few not-so-old farts) at a nursing and rehab center this afternoon.   (Somebody's sure to request "Baby Got Back.")

Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs
From: Joe_F
Date: 09 Mar 09 - 08:46 PM

On reflection, I found the stanza about the ladies in "Time, Gentlemen, Time" to be mildly ungallant, or, as we now say, politically incorrect. So I have come up with the following ambisexual version:

Here's to our limbs, our lusty young limbs,
That used to put on such a show.
Here's to our guts, our bosoms and butts --
What was it that made them grow?
It was time &c.

Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs
From: topical tom
Date: 09 Mar 09 - 11:43 PM

IMO one of the most moving tributes to love between "old farts" is "Stars in Their Crown" by Garnet Rogers.

Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs
From: topical tom
Date: 09 Mar 09 - 11:49 PM

"Stars in Their Crown". Sorry! I just found that it was on utube.

Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs
From: BK Lick
Date: 10 Mar 09 - 05:33 AM

Are You Tired Of Me Darling?
Audio of Mother Maybelle, Sarah, and AP here.

Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs
From: topical tom
Date: 10 Mar 09 - 10:10 AM

BK Lick: Beautiful! I have heard that song many times but I never realized that the Carter Family had sung it.

Subject: ADD: Grumpy Old Men of Old England (Connolly/Meek)
From: Ian Hendrie
Date: 02 Nov 10 - 10:25 AM

The following was transcribed from John Connolly's excellent CD of the same name. This is the polite version. The last track on the CD is rather ruder. I suggest you buy the CD to get those words.


The Grumpy Old Men of Old England
John Connolly and Bill Meek

Oh, we've come here tonight for to grouse and to groan
We're senile delinquents outcast and alone
And what we like best is a bloody good moan
We're the grumpy old men of old England
And we're glad to be grumpy old men

Oh, we've played the 'Wild Rover' as years tumbled by
We've chased all the women and made the sparks fly
We still chase 'em now but we can't recall why
We're the . . .

Now we don't like loud music, iPod or CD
Hip-hop or house, and between you and me
We reckon that rap should be spelt with a 'c'
We're the . . .

Now we don't do IT and we don't go on-line
'Cos internet access can make you go blind
Does broadband mean trousers with waist 49
For those . . .

Now whether you like it or whether you'll not
Soon digital TV will be what you've got
There's a two digit signal that we like a lot
We're the . . .

Now we used to be hippies, long hair and no tie
We'd smoke wacky baccy and gaze at the sky
Now the old Stanner stair-lift is how we get high
We're the . . .

24 hour drinking and round the clock beer
Now our poor old bladder won't take it I fear
24 hour peeing is already her
For the . . .

Our cholesterol's high, our testosterone's low
So off to the doctor's we grumpily go
How they check our prostate you don't want to know
We're the . . .

So the tele's all crap and the weather is worse
We sit by the fire and chunter and curse
Can't even be bothered to finish this verse

Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs
From: MGM·Lion
Date: 02 Nov 10 - 11:35 AM

Another by Sydney Carter is There Isn't Much Fun For A Mixed-up Old Man; one of so many songs to the Villikins tune. It'as in the British Library archive sung by George Belton of all people!

~Michael~

Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs
From: dick greenhaus
Date: 02 Nov 10 - 12:22 PM

There was Too Old to Cut The Mustard, magically recorded by Marlene Dietrich and Rosmary Clooney with harpsichord accompaniment.

And my favorite, The Good Boy.

Good Boy
Lemuel F. Parton

I have led a good life, full of peace and quiet
I shall have an old age, full of rum and riot.
I have been a good boy, wed to work and study
I shall be an old man, ribald coarse and bloody.

I have never slit throats, even when I yearned to.
Never sang dirty songs that my fancy turned to.
I have been a nice boy, and done what was expected
I shall die and old bum, loved but unrespected.

Recorded by Carl Sandburg

Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs
From: GUEST,Alan Whittle
Date: 02 Nov 10 - 01:39 PM

Found this one here

http://www.traditionalmusic.co.uk/song-midis/Farting_Contest.htm



The Farting Contest
Play MIDI

The Farting Contest

I'll tell you a story that is sure to please,
Of a great farting contest at Burton-on-Tease,
Where all the best farters paraded the field,
To compete in a contest for various shields.

Some tighten their bumcheeks and fart up the scale,
To compete for a cup and a barrel of ale,
Whilst others whose arseholes are biggest and strongest,
Compete in the section for loudest and longest.

Now, this year's event had drawn quite a big crowd,
And the betting was even on Mrs. McDowd,
For it had appeared in the evening edition,
That this lady's arse was in perfect condition.

Now old Mrs. Jones had a perfect backside,
Half a forest of hairs with a wart on each side,
And she fancied her chance of winning with ease,
Having trained on a diet of cabbage and peas.

The vicar arrived and ascended the stand,
And thus he addressed this remarkable band:
"The contest is on as is shown on the bills,
We've precluded the use of injections and pills."

Mrs. Bingle arrived amid roars of applause,
And promptly proceeded to pull off her drawers,
For though she'd no chance in the farting display,
She'd the prettiest bottom you'd see on this day.

Now, young Mrs. Porter was backed for a place,
Though she'd ovten been placed in the deepest disgrace,
By dropping a fart on a Sunday in church,
And disturbing the sermon of Reverend McGurch.

The ladies lined up at the signal to start,
And winning the toss, Mrs. Jones took first fart,
The people around stood in silence and wonder,
While her wireless transmitted gale warnings and thunder.

Now Mrs. McDowd reckoned nothing of this,
She'd had some weak tea and was all wind and piss,
She took up her place with her arse opened wide,
But unluckily s*** and was disqualified.

Then young Mrs. Porter was called to the front,
And started by doing a wonderful stunt,
She took a deep breath, and clenching her hands,
She blew the whole roof off the popular stands.

That left Mrs. Bingle who shyly appeared,
And smiled at the clergy who lustily cheered,
And though it was reckoned her chances were small,
She ran out a winner, outfarting them all.

With hands on her hips she stood farting alone,
And the crowd stood amazed at the sweetness of tone,
And the clergy agreed without hindrance or pause,
And said, "First to Mrs. Bingle, now pull up your drawers."

But with muscles well-tensed and legs full apart,
She started a final and glorious fart,
Beginning with Chopin, and ending with Wing,
She went right up the scale to God Save the King.

She went to the rostrum with maidenly gait,
And took from the vicar a set of gold plate,
Then she turned to the vicar with sweetness sublime,
And smilingly said, "Come see me sometime."

XX

Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs
From: GUEST,Seonaid
Date: 02 Nov 10 - 03:36 PM

Here's a mixed bag, in no particular order:

Golden Years
Believe Me, if All Those Endearing Young Charms
(and just about everything by Thomas Moore)
Ye Cannae Shove Yer Granny off a Bus
Streets of London
Seven Old Ladies Locked in the Lavat'ry
Come Under My Plaidie

Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs
From: Tattie Bogle
Date: 02 Nov 10 - 09:10 PM

A parody of "The Song of the Fishgutters" (sorry Ewan!)

SONG OF THE BABY BOOMERS                                
Chorus
Come a' ye Baby Boomers, aye, it's come awa' wi' me,
Frae Edinburgh and Glesga, and frae Perth and frae Dundee,
Frae Lithgae and frae Aiberdeen an' a' the country roon,
We're awa' tae hit the festivals, mak stooshies in yer toon.

We dinna rise sae early noo, we're getting awfy lazy,
But breakfast is at half-past eight, tae us that seems quite crazy,
We've cool bags fu' o' chocolate, bottles o' wine and Snak-a Jacks,
So we'll no be dying o' hunger when we tak oor late-night snacks.

The journey's sometimes lang, but we get there in the end,
We dinna dae the campin' noo, it'd drive ye roon the bend.
We'd raither hae a comfy room wi' fine views o' the sea,
So we're spending all oor pension on a fancy B & B.

No sae early in the morning, but, aye, late intae the nicht,
Your voice is getting croaky and you look an unco sicht,
Ye'll be reaching for the Fishermen's Friends tae sook wi' morning tay,
And you'll wish ye hadnae sung a thoosand sangs jist yesterday.
Chorus

There's mandolins and fiddlers there, and bodhrans and guitars,
There's singers and there's diddlers, and folk propping up the bars,
And you'll wish the Wild Rover had been slaughtered in great pain
By the time that "No Nay Never" is being belted oot again.

We're growing old disgracefully o' that there is nae doot,
Rude slogans on oor T-shirts, and colourful breeks tae boot,
We are the Baby Boomers, and Swinging Sixties too,
So you'd best be on your guard when we come festivalling you.
Chorus

We've festivalled in Lerwick and in Stornoway and Lorient,
And everywhere we've festivalled we ha'e the greatest carry-on,
Whitby, Sidmouth, we've traivelled up and doon,
But the very best festival o' all is here in (XXXXXX) toon.

Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs
From: Muttley
Date: 03 Nov 10 - 12:40 AM

Old Farts In Caravan Parks (mentioned)
Father & Son    (Stevens)
Waltzing With Bears    (alzheimers)
Diamantina Drover
The Old Bark Hut
Flash Jack From Gundagai    (inferred)
Wrinkles                  (Williamson)
A Bushman Can't Survive         "
Cootamundra Wattle             "
You And My Guitar               "


Another Williamson song I can't recall the title of that he wrote about an old lady travelling on the Indian-Pacific

Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs
From: Leadfingers
Date: 03 Nov 10 - 06:29 AM

100