I hate Comic Relief.

Subject: I hate Comic Relief.
From: GUEST,Chrsi B (Born Agan Scouser)
Date: 13 Mar 09 - 09:11 AM

I bloody hate Comic Relief, or Red Nose Day as it's often called by people who have problems with words of more than one syllable. I've just been listening to Radio 4 and all the continuity announcements have been made by smug, mediocre, formerly 'alternative' comedians who obviously think they're that much cleverer than the rest of us because they can do something called 'Irony'.

By the way, why isn't there enough food to go around? Because Jo Brand and Dawn French have eaten it.

It must be awful in Africa, though. The rains fail, the crops wither, there's no water, your community and wracked by disease and just when you think things can't get any worse bloody Richard Curtis turns up with his chinos and his collarless shirt and his 'I'm married to Emma Freud' spectacles.

Still, at least it gives something for Billy Connolly to do now that he can't make people laugh anymore.

By the way, there was a show on last night about a group of 'celebrities' who raised £1m by climbing Kilimanjaro. I wonder how much it cost to send them there. Did they fly economy?

I don't need rich mediocrities telling me what to do with my money. I can make informed decisions about that - partly by using a handy little skill called reading. And I'm not buying the record, either.

Subject: RE: I hate Comic Relief.
From: breezy
Date: 13 Mar 09 - 09:18 AM

you have to spend to make a profit, I'm sure Liverpool gets its share from these kind of events

but its your choice, to be selfless or not.

Audition organisers for the next series of 'Grumpy old farts' will let you know, but dont hold your breath ! but there again, why not.

Too much fun in the world what with Liverpool football club always singing that same old song from 'carousal !' el

bring back Stan Boardman

Subject: RE: I hate Comic Relief.
From: GUEST,Chris B (Born Again Scouser)
Date: 13 Mar 09 - 09:35 AM

'Carousal'? I don't remember that show. Sounds like fun, though.

Subject: RE: I hate Comic Relief.
From: Stu
Date: 13 Mar 09 - 09:38 AM

Miserable old . . . scouser.

Mind you, you're right about Billy Connolly though.

Subject: RE: I hate Comic Relief.
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 13 Mar 09 - 09:48 AM

I was screaming abuse at my radio when Paul Whitehouse was trying to be funny at lunchtime, as a so called comedy continuity announcer.

Subject: RE: I hate Comic Relief.
From: SINSULL
Date: 13 Mar 09 - 09:57 AM

Carousal?:
If I Loved You
June Is Bustin' Out All Over
You'll Never Walk Alone
Shrimp Boats Are a' Comin
My Boy Bill

Subject: RE: I hate Comic Relief.
From: GUEST,69
Date: 13 Mar 09 - 10:15 AM

Sick of it, totally sick of it. Good causes ? did you see the causes they support, not a brass penny would I give. Boring people enjoying their own company, failed tv stars and louvvies.

Subject: RE: I hate Comic Relief.
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 13 Mar 09 - 10:36 AM

Yes SINSULL, leave your number, and we'll call you back, if we need you.

Subject: RE: I hate Comic Relief.
From: Donuel
Date: 13 Mar 09 - 10:58 AM

In my 24 years of railing against the corrupt market since I left the ltra corrupt Bear Sterns, John Stewart has put a national exclamimation point on the way the market trains all its employees to lie cheat and steal.

I am sure most of us have seen it already or have mentioned this ground breaking expose' that will not be forgotten for years.

John had Jim Cramer on the show. Stewart did not pull a single punch even as Jim curled into an embryonic ball of embarrased guilt.

See the full show at comedycentral.com

John did last night what George Carlin never managed to do in his lifetime by educating the American people to the "exact" nature of how the US businessman is screwing you in the ass.

Subject: RE: I hate Comic Relief.
From: Ebbie
Date: 13 Mar 09 - 10:59 AM

Carousal? If you spell it with an E it makes more sense.

Subject: RE: I hate Comic Relief.
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 13 Mar 09 - 11:01 AM

Carousal:- a session of drinking and carousing.

Subject: RE: I hate Comic Relief.
From: GUEST,Chris B (Born Again Scouser)
Date: 13 Mar 09 - 11:02 AM

Oh God. The Americans have arrived. There goes the neighbourhood.

Subject: RE: I hate Comic Relief.
From: GUEST,Chris B (Born Again Scouser)
Date: 13 Mar 09 - 11:34 AM

Oh No. They're doing 'comedy' on Radio 3 now. It's like Flanders and Swann only worse.

Subject: RE: I hate Comic Relief.
From: Donuel
Date: 13 Mar 09 - 11:34 AM

This country owes a debt of gratitude to John Stewart for being such a singular voice for freedom and justice when virtually all the other TV talking heads went along to get along.

Subject: RE: I hate Comic Relief.
From: GUEST,Chris B (Born Again Scouser)
Date: 13 Mar 09 - 11:47 AM

No, your country does.

Subject: RE: I hate Comic Relief.
From: Donuel
Date: 13 Mar 09 - 11:49 AM

Sorry your version sucks mate.

Subject: RE: I hate Comic Relief.
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 13 Mar 09 - 12:10 PM

Carousal :- Awakening of 100 people.

Subject: RE: I hate Comic Relief.
From: GUEST,Chris B (Born Again Scouser)
Date: 13 Mar 09 - 12:14 PM

Mate? Who are you, Dick Van Dyke?

Subject: RE: I hate Comic Relief.
From: GUEST,Shimrod
Date: 13 Mar 09 - 01:04 PM

I saw some silly woman dressed as a clown today. I thought, "great, best of both worlds - you can indulge your taste for exhibitionism and feel morally superior to everyone else, at the same time!"

Subject: RE: I hate Comic Relief.
From: GUEST,Chris B (Born Again Scouser)
Date: 13 Mar 09 - 03:19 PM

I might not mind so much if there was some decent entertainment on offer in return for a crowd of rich people with bank accounts in the Cayman Islands asking for my money.

But it's all such shit.

Subject: RE: I hate Comic Relief.
From: Micca
Date: 13 Mar 09 - 04:05 PM

A colleague at work described the TV show for Comic relief as beig as enjoyable as "Taking a good meal, cutting it into small cubes and then mixing it with a ton of sawdust and eating it, there are brief moments of enjoyment but a great deal of rubbish to get through which mostly leave you feeling unsatisfied and slightly cheated at the waste of all that talent".

Subject: RE: I hate Comic Relief.
From: Spleen Cringe
Date: 13 Mar 09 - 04:24 PM

Comic Relief. Raising money for charity. Really out of order, that. Really evil. Shouldn't be allowed. And there's nothing at all in the world worse you could possibly get annoyed about, is there? Like, I dunno, kids starving in a wealthy world?

Chris, there's a simple answer. Turn the TV off. Keep your money in your pocket. It'll all be over tomorrow.

Subject: RE: I hate Comic Relief.
From: Peace
Date: 13 Mar 09 - 04:56 PM

"I hate Comic Relief."

That's not funny . . . .

Subject: RE: I hate Comic Relief.
From: TheSilentOne
Date: 13 Mar 09 - 05:10 PM

"I hate Comic Relief"?
Yeah, raising money for the needy is such a shit thing to do isn't it?

Subject: RE: I hate Comic Relief.
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 13 Mar 09 - 05:13 PM

The comedy and comedians may not be so funny as in concert or usual programmes. Often they don't write their material, they just perform it. Perhaps it is the comedy writers you should be moaning about.

As GUESTS are not permitted to start threads below the line, hopefully a mod elf will come put this meanspirited pratt in his place and remove or close the thread.

I have donated twice today. And I am watching the programme.

Subject: RE: I hate Comic Relief.
From: TheSilentOne
Date: 13 Mar 09 - 05:16 PM

OK, nice to see how GUEST (Date: 13 Mar 09 - 05:04 PM)comes out in the open to knock the charity? The point is 100% of our donations DO go to charity. p

Subject: RE: I hate Comic Relief.
From: Peace
Date: 13 Mar 09 - 05:28 PM

You know you're in an Alberta hotel when you call the front desk and say, "I gotta leak in my bathroom toilet" and they respond, "Go ahead."

Subject: RE: I hate Comic Relief.
From: TheSilentOne
Date: 13 Mar 09 - 05:55 PM

GUEST..GUEST..GUEST.. Funny how no-one who is knocking charity will use their own Mudcat name to do it in this thread. It's pathetic. Hope it gets pulled soon.

Subject: RE: I hate Comic Relief.
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 13 Mar 09 - 05:55 PM

I saw some silly woman dressed as a clown today. I thought, "great, best of both worlds - you can indulge your taste for exhibitionism and feel morally superior to everyone else, at the same time!"

Last year I dressed up as a saloon gal (gawd that was embarrasing cause I ain't got the body for it) for Children in Need. Am I morally superior? Mostly I felt cold and uncomfortable (them fishnets were pinching me something fierce and in unmentionable places). So maybe I am an exhibitionist. I thought I was just having fun and I helping a good cause.

Subject: RE: I hate Comic Relief.
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 13 Mar 09 - 06:09 PM

Someone needs to look at how the money from charities is channeled and the money from governments is channeled. Our tax dollars and pounds buy the weapons. Our donations typically aid who it is intended to aid.

Subject: RE: I hate Comic Relief.
From: gnu
Date: 13 Mar 09 - 06:09 PM

Got any pics?

Subject: RE: I hate Comic Relief.
From: gnu
Date: 13 Mar 09 - 06:11 PM

Not necessarily unmentionable ones. I am not THAT much of a pervert.

Subject: RE: I hate Comic Relief.
From: Peace
Date: 13 Mar 09 - 06:12 PM

As you wish . . . .

Subject: RE: I hate Comic Relief.
From: gnu
Date: 13 Mar 09 - 06:12 PM

Unless... nevermind.

Subject: RE: I hate Comic Relief.
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 13 Mar 09 - 06:16 PM

GNU! Behave yourself. I am a married whore!

Subject: RE: I hate Comic Relief.
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 13 Mar 09 - 06:21 PM

For the right money, honey I'll let you see my deck (cards that is). Not the marked ones.

Subject: RE: I hate Comic Relief.
From: Spleen Cringe
Date: 13 Mar 09 - 07:26 PM

"Shit happens. Get over it and stop begging me for my money"

Great to see the world in safe hands. Remind me not to piss on you when you're on fire...

Subject: RE: I hate Comic Relief.
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 13 Mar 09 - 08:24 PM

The real problem with Comic Relief is that it is a mere palliative, so it relieves governments from doing what they ought to do and those who ought to rise in revolution from doing just that.

Subject: RE: I hate Comic Relief.
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 14 Mar 09 - 05:29 AM

snork! gotta love that Spleen Cringe.

For any moderator who happens to be passing by, (I still don't know who all of them are).

I am NOT posting under 2 different Mudcat names.

TheSilentOne is my husband. So named because he is very quiet at sing around sessions. The name is apt because he doesn't very often post to Mudcat either. He was piqued by my out loud comments re this thread and decided to put in an appearance. I have 3D mudcat friends who can verify this.

Glad I cleared that up.

Subject: RE: I hate Comic Relief.
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 14 Mar 09 - 05:41 AM

Funny, I seem to have had a post deleted. Or maybe the bit-bucket-in-the-sky got it, or there may be another reason. If it was mod action, no doubt it will happen again.

There are two good (IMHO) reasons to criticise the establishment of events like Comic Relief.

First they take the pressure off governments. The good causes supported should be fed by the state and the state should not evade those duties by farming them out to volunteers.

Second they palliate and and thereby delay merited revolution.

Subject: RE: I hate Comic Relief.
From: Anne Lister
Date: 14 Mar 09 - 06:43 AM

All of which might be true, Richard, but while we wait for governments to become perfect and the state to take full responsibility there are children suffering.
Comic Relief clearly provides an outlet for all sorts of people to give money to help those children - it provides a few laughs, a lot of good feeling and it brightens up a difficult time.
I was very moved yesterday. I work some of the week with children out of mainstream education, some of whom have had dreadful experiences with adults and other children. The small group of children yesterday did a sponsored walk into central Newport, carrying collecting tins and dressed in PJs (and red noses, of course) and raised over £450.
I'm not going to let my political consciousness get in the way of thinking that it was a very, very good thing to have done.

Anne

Subject: RE: I hate Comic Relief.
From: kendall
Date: 14 Mar 09 - 08:21 AM

Like it or not folks, he has a right to express himself here. He may be as popular as a wet dog at a wedding, but he still has that right.
Now, if he resorts to personal attacks, that's another thing.

Remember the rule...Don't feed the trolls.

Subject: RE: I hate Comic Relief.
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 14 Mar 09 - 09:44 AM

Funny, my missing post has reappeared or my eyesight improved...

Subject: RE: I hate Comic Relief.
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 14 Mar 09 - 12:53 PM

Is this type of "scrounging" all that different from mumming? I mean the mumming that goes on today which is done to raise money for all sorts of local charities?

Comic Relief is just mumming on a huge scale and the entertainment is lamer.

Subject: RE: I hate Comic Relief.
From: Jeri
Date: 14 Mar 09 - 01:12 PM

Richard, it re-appeared. I honestly don't know what happened, but I'd guess your post was restored after being deleted accidentally as it was sandwiched into some GUEST posts.

Posts from GUESTS post with throwaway identities WILL likely get deleted.

Subject: RE: I hate Comic Relief.
From: Linda Kelly
Date: 14 Mar 09 - 02:23 PM

Well I dressed up baked cakes raised £100 with the help of my work colleagues -and yes it Comic Relief is spectacularly unfunny (Outnumbered being the exception), but its not really about the programme is it? its about £57 million pounds out of our pockets and heading towards projects that need it.

Subject: RE: I hate Comic Relief.
From: kendall
Date: 14 Mar 09 - 04:02 PM

There is so little real comedy these days. Any fool can spout 4 letter words but it takes talent to make us old "heard it all" Gits to laugh.

I have to admit that Larry the cable guy can make me chuckle sometimes.

Subject: RE: I hate Comic Relief.
From: Peace
Date: 14 Mar 09 - 04:54 PM

Red Green has got what it takes, too.

Subject: RE: I hate Comic Relief.
From: Mr Fox
Date: 14 Mar 09 - 05:39 PM

Could be worse. Could be Children in bloody Need.

A couple of years ago I offered them £50 if they would leave me alone for an hour in a room with Pudsey bleedin' Bear, a baseball bat, a taser and a gallon of napalm. For some reason they didn't take me up on the offer.

Subject: RE: I hate Comic Relief.
From: olddude
Date: 14 Mar 09 - 09:03 PM

I hate Jello

Subject: RE: I hate Comic Relief.
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 15 Mar 09 - 06:28 AM

Oddly enough, I didn't see a single red nose all day on Friday, until I left the office at 5. Then it was the bloke who hands out free papers by the station. Everyone else seemed as miserable as buggery.

Nothing happened in our office - we're all too deep in the sh!t to respond to humourous attempts to get us to donate.

LTS

Subject: RE: I hate Comic Relief.
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 15 Mar 09 - 06:44 AM

It just goes to show you can never be too careful! (David Mitchell's Soapbox feature in the Guardian).

Subject: RE: I hate Comic Relief.
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 15 Mar 09 - 09:26 AM

Thank you for that Jeri - it always helps to have confirmation I am not wholly barking mad...

Subject: RE: I hate Comic Relief.
From: goatfell
Date: 15 Mar 09 - 10:19 AM

that is how they are millionares because they don't spend any money but the guillable British public will. I too hate Comic Relief. you get some famous person in Africa with Millions in their bank and they'll say "you know, only £100,000 will bring some relief to this village." well go to your bank lift out £100,000 and give it to them. you mean tight fisted people. Until the millionare celebs put their hands in their pockets I won't.

Subject: RE: I hate Comic Relief.
From: Stu
Date: 15 Mar 09 - 11:19 AM

"The real problem with Comic Relief is that it is a mere palliative, so it relieves governments from doing what they ought to do and those who ought to rise in revolution from doing just that."

That's not Comic Relief's problem; it's the fact the British Public never hold their politicians to account for their lack of action, or their wilful ignorance.

We've become a nation of narcissistic, unquestioning goons, which is why Comic Relief, Children in Need, The Six O'Clock News etc are all so banal. That said, I contribute to the appeal because "Nobody makes a greater mistake than he who does nothing because he could only do a little" as some burke said.

Subject: RE: I hate Comic Relief.
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 15 Mar 09 - 02:51 PM

First they take the pressure off governments

Governments will never be able to hand over money to other governments with proper the strings attached. The receiving nation would find that too meddling/threatening.

Second they palliate and and thereby delay merited revolution

Difficult to imagine children in any country making a revolution. If you are under 15, and you are a carer, or abused, or orphaned or ill, what voice do you have save through those who will take up the banner on your behalf.

Until the millionare celebs put their hands in their pockets I won't

Which millionaire celeb did you mean? How do you know how much they gave or didn't give? How do you know that what they gave (if they did) was or wasn't proportionate to their earnings/worth as anyone else's?

You don't know. You can't know. If you don't want give to a cause, that's fine, that is your choice. I have no problem with that. But please don't base your reason for not giving on an unknown.

Subject: RE: I hate Comic Relief.
From: kendall
Date: 15 Mar 09 - 03:13 PM

Shooting from the hip seldom hits the right target.

Subject: RE: I hate Comic Relief.
From: GUEST,Captain Swing
Date: 15 Mar 09 - 03:58 PM

The £59 million raised, if paid for by the 26 million taxpayers would cost each one less than 5p a week. But of course that would not be a vote catcher.

Subject: RE: I hate Comic Relief.
From: Anne Lister
Date: 15 Mar 09 - 04:18 PM

If it was paid for by the taxpayers it would be regarded, rightly, as government expenditure. It would be more difficult to target, it almost certainly wouldn't reach the groups Comic Relief have decided to help and it would cause a lot of people to feel snarky because they wouldn't have a choice about whether or not to contribute. This way, whether or not you like the comedy and the antics, each of us has a clear choice about whether or not to dip into our pockets and for how much if we do. And if you don't like the comedy on television or radio, for heaven's sake do what you would do normally and control the "off" buttons. There are other channels, after all.

As to the celebs - I very much doubt whether they take any pay for visiting the various places and spending time with the various projects, which means that quite apart from any monies they might contribute they're certainly giving their (expensive)time to help. The locations aren't exactly glamorous and you can see that the presenters go through an emotional wringer. Quite apart from Comic Relief, a lot of celebs do a huge amount of work for charities and it very rarely gets any attention because they very properly don't publicise it. But if you were to hear that Lenny Henry or Ricky Gervais or any of the others had contributed shedloads of money does that mean you WOULD contribute?

By all means choose not to give any of your money if you don't think it's worthwhile. But I'm not sure that means you're entitled to knock those people who are trying to raise funds or those who are wanting to contribute.

One day every two years ...is that too much of a strain on your smile muscles?

Anne

Subject: RE: I hate Comic Relief.
From: Seamus Kennedy
Date: 15 Mar 09 - 04:26 PM

Peace - the Leak joke works better if it's the bathroom SINK.

You're welcome.

Seamus

Subject: RE: I hate Comic Relief.
From: GUEST,Green Wellies
Date: 16 Mar 09 - 04:50 AM

Nobody forces anyone to join in/take part/spend money/smile. If you not interested stay away.

Stop moaning and trying to spoil it for the others who are having a laugh

Miserable buggers.

Subject: RE: I hate Comic Relief.
From: Stu
Date: 16 Mar 09 - 09:08 AM

Too right.

And the Peter Kay video is still funny after all these years.

Subject: RE: I hate Comic Relief.
From: GUEST,HarryIsFat
Date: 18 Mar 12 - 05:17 PM

I was sick to death of it last year. All the epic TV failures on the big comic relief show were enough to drive me insane. The radio presenters just wouldn't shut up about it so I just used my iPod to listento music at that time.

My school wasted the day on stupid jokes and stuff like dressing silly and tickling people's feet. I have never thought anything they do on comic relief funny at all, though I couldn't agree more with raising money for charity.

All in all I just support comic relief for the sake of Africa, not to burst out laughing at all the immature things that happen at the time.

Subject: RE: I hate Comic Relief.
From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity
Date: 19 Mar 12 - 02:32 AM

Comic relief??You mean to tell me that we're having some more elections, coming up????

GfS

Subject: RE: I hate Comic Relief.
From: MGM·Lion
Date: 19 Mar 12 - 02:37 AM

There are other kinds of Relief that I certainly prefer!

~M~

Subject: RE: I hate Comic Relief.
From: Doug Chadwick
Date: 19 Mar 12 - 03:17 AM

You mean Sports Relief, MtheGM?

DC

Subject: RE: I hate Comic Relief.
From: MGM·Lion
Date: 19 Mar 12 - 04:04 AM

Sports of a sort, DC.

Subject: RE: I hate Comic Relief.
From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity
Date: 19 Mar 12 - 05:24 AM

I just watched some 'news' on the elections...then went to the bathroom..I turned off the T.V...and flushed the toilet...What a RELIEF on both counts!!!
....Watching the shit going 'round in circles'....and that was BEFORE I went to the bathroom!!!

Now, I need more toilet paper...When do the voting polls open?...Could always use the ballots!!!

GfS