BS: List of things to do before dying?

Subject: BS: List of things to do before dying?
From: GUEST,No matter who.... it's all of us.
Date: 07 Nov 09 - 05:47 PM

Soooo... if you were gonna take the big dirt nap in the not too long, what should you get done?

Will, yeah. Power of Attorney, yeah. End of life stuff, yeah. Put stickers on the stuff in the house denoting who should get this or that, yeah. Clean out the drawers and fridge... maybe not?

Any other suggestions?

Subject: RE: BS: List of things to do before dying?
From: gnu
Date: 07 Nov 09 - 05:50 PM

A video telling your good friends and relatives how much you care for them and such?

And a separate video for the asshole friends and relatives?

Copies to all, of course! Hehehehehee.

Subject: RE: BS: List of things to do before dying?
From: catspaw49
Date: 07 Nov 09 - 07:06 PM

Outside of spending every available second with my best friend, I really have no idea..................

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: List of things to do before dying?
From: Ebbie
Date: 07 Nov 09 - 08:32 PM

A poignant moment I overheard between my parents. My mother was on her deathbed and my dad told her, I wish I could go with you.

And she said, Oh, I wish so too.

Subject: RE: BS: List of things to do before dying?
From: GUEST,999
Date: 07 Nov 09 - 08:37 PM

Wash your hair very very well.

Subject: RE: BS: List of things to do before dying?
From: Alice
Date: 07 Nov 09 - 08:52 PM

Just be really aware and appreciate being alive.

Subject: RE: BS: List of things to do before dying?
From: GUEST,number 6
Date: 07 Nov 09 - 09:20 PM

Keep on living !

biLL

Subject: RE: BS: List of things to do before dying?
From: LilyFestre
Date: 07 Nov 09 - 09:30 PM

Awww Ebbie...that's the sweetest thing ever.

Michelle

Subject: RE: BS: List of things to do before dying?
From: katlaughing
Date: 07 Nov 09 - 09:39 PM

Write that farewell to Mudcatters, to be posted upon my demise...the one that reminds them all of what lovely, wonderful friends they all are and I'll catch them round the next time. Aside from having done all of the other stuff and being with family.

Subject: RE: BS: List of things to do before dying?
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Nov 09 - 10:01 PM

Live.

Subject: RE: BS: List of things to do before dying?
From: Janie
Date: 07 Nov 09 - 10:18 PM

There are always the "business side" that should be taken care of for the sake of your surviving relatives. (Most of us have family or friends who have had to deal with the complications of relatives not leaving wills.) I have informed my family of where my will is, that I have a living will and where it is, who my medical power of attorney is, who the executor is, and provided copies to them.

I also have a file with all my life insurance policies, retirement plans, beneficiaries of same, and have provided my parents and sister with a list of same. It occurs to me that I should probably add my sister as a joint owner of my personal and business bank accounts so that she can withdraw any funds from them immediately upon my demise and before it is legally known that I am in position and in the form to lime a garden.

Subject: RE: BS: List of things to do before dying?
From: GUEST,erbert
Date: 08 Nov 09 - 12:48 AM

..avoid watching the pilot episodes of any new TV series
[eg "Flashforward"]
you might get hooked on
unless you're very confident you got at least a good 6 months
left to go....

Subject: RE: BS: List of things to do before dying?
From: GUEST,Tunesmith
Date: 08 Nov 09 - 03:28 AM

Learn to speak French fluently!

Subject: RE: BS: List of things to do before dying?
From: kendall
Date: 08 Nov 09 - 07:01 AM

Cover my antique car.

Subject: RE: BS: List of things to do before dying?
From: Janie
Date: 08 Nov 09 - 11:29 AM

Make a two minute speech, a la George Carlin?

Subject: RE: BS: List of things to do before dying?
From: maeve
Date: 08 Nov 09 - 11:51 AM

Say "Thank you" to those who have made a difference in your life.
Make amends to those you may have hurt and forgive those who have caused hurt to you.

Subject: RE: BS: List of things to do before dying?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 Nov 09 - 12:06 PM

Very good idea, Maeve.

***

I would finally tell my Dachshund what I really think of him.... ;-)

Subject: RE: BS: List of things to do before dying?
From: Charley Noble
Date: 08 Nov 09 - 12:49 PM

Let the cat out!

Charley Noble

Subject: RE: BS: List of things to do before dying?
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 08 Nov 09 - 01:42 PM

Take one last deep breath, before whispering (or shouting if I have the energy) "Geronimo!"

Subject: RE: BS: List of things to do before dying?
From: Crow Sister (off with the fairies)
Date: 08 Nov 09 - 01:50 PM

CURSE all those who have wronged you, with all the depth of your dying breath ...you know, only so all that blood and life-force won't be wantonly wasted of course.
Well, that is if I can remember them all by then.. ;-)

Subject: RE: BS: List of things to do before dying?
From: gnu
Date: 08 Nov 09 - 01:54 PM

maeve... cool, but there are some people I cannot forgive. I know it's suppose to be good for you, but, when someone does me wrong over and over after I have essentially forgiven them and subsequently gone out of my way to be nice to them and to help them, time after time, there comes a point where I simply cannot do it again.

Subject: RE: BS: List of things to do before dying?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 Nov 09 - 02:03 PM

Forgiving them does not mean you have to associate with them or deal with them or be around them or get involved with them in any way....because negative people are best avoided. It just means you let go of the held anger inside you, that's all. You stop holding it in your consciousness. It's self-therapy...not building bridges back to places where a bridge does no good.

One does not go to the local bully and say, "I forgive you for all those times you bullied me." He won't appreciate it one bit! ;-) You just stop running those old tapes in your own head about all the bad stuff that happened in the past and how much you hate him for it. That won't affect him one way or the other, but it will profoundly affect you.

Now, if it's close relatives whom you will be seeing again...well, again you just try not to keep visualizing and holding on to your past anger, that's all. Anger is an emotion that consumes the vessel it's held in. They probably won't change, but you can change your own state of mind to a calmer one.

Subject: RE: BS: List of things to do before dying?
From: gnu
Date: 08 Nov 09 - 02:21 PM

LH... One does not go to the local bully and say, "I forgive you for all those times you bullied me."

Ohhhh... so I just have to forgive them in my own mind?

Not a hope.

Subject: RE: BS: List of things to do before dying?
From: gnu
Date: 08 Nov 09 - 02:42 PM

Hmmmm... in essence, I really don't forgive them... I forgive myself for letting it bother me? Just put it out of my mind?

Subject: RE: BS: List of things to do before dying?
From: KT
Date: 08 Nov 09 - 03:53 PM

Little Hawk, your words above are the best on forgiveness I've ever seen. Usually, the "letting go of anger inside you" is named as the result of forgiveness, rather than the path to it. Kind of like if you're really lucky, and are really successful in forgiving, you will then be relieved of the anger and resentment. Your words encourage one to let go of the anger for their own health, rather than doing it for the other, and in so doing, the forgiveness has happened. Wise words, yours.

KT

Subject: RE: BS: List of things to do before dying?
From: Gervase
Date: 08 Nov 09 - 03:59 PM

Take up cigarettes, whiskey and wild, wild women?

Subject: RE: BS: List of things to do before dying?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 Nov 09 - 04:12 PM

Thanks.

Thinking back, I had one girlfriend who did a lot of really rotten things to me for a few years. I could stew about that all the time, feed those vengeful feelings, review it all in my mind and grind my teeth, throw more fuel on the fire....or...I could just choose to think instead about other people that I love and am very happy with. ;-) And when I've got my wits about me, I choose the latter...and that's most of the time.

gnu, it's mostly just a question of what you choose to focus most of your attention on. A bully is really only a problem when he is presently bullying you or is likely to do so in the near future. If he's back in your past somewhere, he's not a problem any longer (not for you, anyway)...unless you just can't stop thinking about him. If so, your habit of compulsively thinking about him is the problem.

We are as we think, correct? I mean, that's the emotional reality we keep experiencing moment to moment...every waking moment of our lives.

I have had the thought occur to me that the kids who bullied me in school may have done so because they were having a bad time at home with their dad and they felt powerless...or for any variety of reasons unbeknownst to me. That doesn't mean that they should be excused for bullying other people, but it gives me some degree of insight into the possible reasons that they became bullies. A bully is someone who's afraid. He's angry. He's afraid of not being taken seriously. He's afraid of not being respected. He's afraid of being seen as weak or powerless. Being not too wise yet, he seeks a dumb short cut to achieving respect and power...he picks on those who seem vulnerable. He is to be pitied for not having a better understanding of how to solve his self-confidence problem, because his particular way of coping with inner stress will only result in causing most people to detest him, and that will inevitably bring even more pain into his life at some point. Kind of a vicious circle, I'd call it.

Subject: RE: BS: List of things to do before dying?
From: catspaw49
Date: 08 Nov 09 - 04:29 PM

Have you considered they might have bullied you since you were just an asshole? Or because you had a dumbass chimp as your only friend? Maybe it was because you used Dachshunds for pornographic purposes or your failure to understand the brilliance in the words of Da' Immortal Hat!

Man up.....Take some blame!


Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: List of things to do before dying?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 Nov 09 - 06:49 PM

Yeah! I did consider that briefly, Spaw. I almost immediately rejected it, though, as a completely absurd and valueless notion... (grin)

In terms of taking the blame, though, here's my real take on it. I see plainly now that I unwittingly attracted bullies by my completely passive nature and my utter lack of consciousness about how to defend myself against them. I drew them like roadkill draws flies... ;-) So, yes, I do bear part of the blame, because I made myself an obvious target...and my family bears part of the blame for bringing me up in such a way that I would do that. Yikes! Blame all around. (I can't blame the church, though, because we didn't go to church.) At any rate if only I had known better I would have carried a blackjack in my pocket and conked the first bully that bothered me so hard that he would have thought twice about even looking sideways at me after that. And if I had done so, then it would have won me the grudging respect of that crowd, and they'd have directed their sadistic attentions elsewhere.

Too late we learn these things in life...!   As Teddy Roosevelt said, "Speak softly but carry a big stick."

Subject: RE: BS: List of things to do before dying?
From: SussexCarole
Date: 08 Nov 09 - 08:39 PM

Spend at least one November 5th at the Lewes (Sussex) Bonfire celebrations (and drink at least one pint of Harvey's Old)

Subject: RE: BS: List of things to do before dying?
From: Janie
Date: 08 Nov 09 - 08:45 PM

Change your underwear?

Subject: RE: BS: List of things to do before dying?
From: Joe_F
Date: 08 Nov 09 - 08:49 PM

Take off your clothes, and like down on a sheet of plastic.

Subject: RE: BS: List of things to do before dying?
From: Lox
Date: 08 Nov 09 - 08:49 PM

Indulge myself in family, friends, music and good cuisine.

Subject: RE: BS: List of things to do before dying?
From: GUEST,No matter who.... it's Me.
Date: 08 Nov 09 - 09:06 PM

To hike in a few more mountain ranges.

Himalayans
Pyranies
Dolamaites
Caucasians

Subject: RE: BS: List of things to do before dying?
From: Charley Noble
Date: 08 Nov 09 - 09:12 PM

Morticians change your underwear and trim your nails, not to worry.

But don't forget to post to Mudcat and provide a "blue clicky" link to where you're bound, i.e.: Click here at your own risk!

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: BS: List of things to do before dying?
From: GUEST,Steamin' Willie
Date: 09 Nov 09 - 01:04 PM

Finish that list I just started

Subject: RE: BS: List of things to do before dying?
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 09 Nov 09 - 04:21 PM

Draw my own chalk outline and fit myself into it, just before expiring.

Subject: RE: BS: List of things to do before dying?
From: GUEST,deathwatch beatle
Date: 09 Nov 09 - 04:26 PM

Make the ultimate cheese and pickle sandwich.

Subject: RE: BS: List of things to do before dying?
From: Ed T
Date: 09 Nov 09 - 04:39 PM

Make sure the iron is unplugged.

Subject: RE: BS: List of things to do before dying?
From: gnu
Date: 09 Nov 09 - 04:41 PM

Don't forget the kettle.

Hmmmm... might those not save of the coast of creamation?

Subject: RE: BS: List of things to do before dying?
From: frogprince
Date: 09 Nov 09 - 06:47 PM

I was thinking of being creamated, but nobody would want to drink coffee with me in it.

Subject: RE: BS: List of things to do before dying?
From: Ed T
Date: 09 Nov 09 - 07:47 PM

Creamation....roasted coffee,,,,,a double roast?

Subject: RE: BS: List of things to do before dying?
From: Bobert
Date: 09 Nov 09 - 08:03 PM

Well, folks ain't gone until they are gone... Meaning that as long as yer still in the race then put the pedal to the metal... Everyone has a list of things they'd like to do in this life and just because one might not feel too perky doesn't mean that there are things left undone on that list... So reread the list and do some of the stuff that you are able to do...

Plus spend as much time with your loved ones... You'll never know how much that time will mean to them later down the road...

And in case this thread is based on a real situation...

...Godspeed to ya'...

Bobert

Subject: RE: BS: List of things to do before dying?
From: Janie
Date: 09 Nov 09 - 08:13 PM

Gnu,

I hear the Coast of Cremation is quite a hot spot. Do the men wear thongs there?

Subject: RE: BS: List of things to do before dying?
From: jimmyt
Date: 09 Nov 09 - 08:26 PM

Ahh... thongs! what a subject.

Subject: RE: BS: List of things to do before dying?
From: Deckman
Date: 09 Nov 09 - 09:07 PM

Tune my guitar ... one more time!

Subject: RE: BS: List of things to do before dying?
From: MGM·Lion
Date: 09 Nov 09 - 10:38 PM

Ane then thing a thong?

Subject: RE: BS: List of things to do before dying?
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 10 Nov 09 - 02:44 AM

Make a list of who I want to meet, when I get to the other side.

Make a list of questions and topics to discuss, songs I want to learn, for/from each one.

Then burn the lists just before I jump da jordan. gonna leave that anal retentive, super organized life behind me and take each (minute? day? - just how is time measured in eternity?) as it comes.

Subject: RE: BS: List of things to do before dying?
From: Folkiedave
Date: 10 Nov 09 - 03:23 AM

I have always had three ambitions.

Two I have actually achieved so that's good.

The third is to score the winning goal for Sheffield United in the European Cup Final in Camp Nou. (Barca's ground).

I doubt it will now happen.

Subject: RE: BS: List of things to do before dying?
From: GREEN WELLIES
Date: 10 Nov 09 - 04:04 AM

Finish the ruddy ironing. !!

Subject: RE: BS: List of things to do before dying?
From: GUEST,Steamin' WIllie
Date: 10 Nov 09 - 04:13 AM

Folkiedave wrote

"The third is to score the winning goal for Sheffield United in the European Cup Final in Camp Nou. (Barca's ground)."

You would have to be wearing a Barcelona shirt and scoring an own goal then, and the final score would be 0.1

Up The Owls!

Subject: RE: BS: List of things to do before dying?
From: Ebbie
Date: 10 Nov 09 - 11:16 AM

'Make a list of who I want to meet, when I get to the other side." VT

Tam, my sister's second child died at six months and when sis was dying, her older daughter whispered to her: Give Sarah Marie a hug for me."

That's when I lost it.

In case it seems that wherever I go I make relatives die, 'tain't rightly so. :) It is true, however, that death, per se, does not frighten me.

Subject: RE: BS: List of things to do before dying?
From: MGM·Lion
Date: 10 Nov 09 - 11:26 AM

It doesn't frighten me either & I am 77 & it's bound to come soonish whatever. But I agree with Woody Allen: "I'm not afraid of dying; I just don't want to be there when it happens." Oh, if only...

Meanwhile there are one or two experiences of a private sort of nature that I have missed out on so far and am doing my utmost to collect before G Reaper Esq comes around...

Subject: RE: BS: List of things to do before dying?
From: MGM·Lion
Date: 10 Nov 09 - 11:29 AM

PS - & I don't anticipate any 'other side'; it's a nice idea; and the thought I might see my adored dead wife again ... but alas I don't think so...

Subject: RE: BS: List of things to do before dying?
From: Amos
Date: 10 Nov 09 - 11:53 AM

I think it would be a wise idea to select a safe and pleasant spot to fix firmly in mind as a a nice place to go first, to settle out from the shock of change and re-orient myself. Some pleasant uninhabited beach or meadow or island somewhere.

I think it would be a good idea to complete all the incomplete business you can, get your bequests and wishes in order, sell what you don't need, give away what is wanted, and complete all unfinished letters and other communications. The main reason being to have one's attention free to look forward at a critical point.

But before all that I want to run a schooner down the East Coast and through the Panama Canal, and riverboat the Shannon and a bunch of other rivers, and do some kayaking. I want to finish three or four half-written books and a dozen half-read ones. I want to record several hundred songs for my nieces and nephews and their children.

THen there are some slightly more remote dreams like inventing some things that would take a lot of research, learning some new artistic media like sculpting and welding, building a dream home somewhere not too expensive, and maing out with a whole long list of incredible dames, which last is purely hypothetical, I hasten to add. :D


A

Subject: RE: BS: List of things to do before dying?
From: Charley Noble
Date: 10 Nov 09 - 12:04 PM

Amos-

I'd be happy to help pilot the schooner, and Maine is a fine place to pick up a good one. One of my favorite designs is by Murray Peterson: Clink here for a good time!

I believe they run about 36-feet.

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: BS: List of things to do before dying?
From: Amos
Date: 10 Nov 09 - 12:24 PM

Charley:

That's a beaut, all right.

I'd like one with a pilot house if possible, and a diesel engine, decent electronics including radar and sonar, enough room for four or six folks, but able to be rigged for single handing, some reliable autopilot, and sound of hull and rig...those are just prelimiary requirements!! :D LEt me know if you run across one. 36 to 48 feet would be about right, I reckon. Bet we could lure Brett back for such a cruise!!!


A

Subject: RE: BS: List of things to do before dying?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Nov 09 - 12:28 PM

I would want to first of all find a way to reduce Amos to stunned and stupefied silence....then instruct him so that he gains a full appreciation of the merits of William Shatner, Winona Ryder, and Dachshunds. ;-)

Subject: RE: BS: List of things to do before dying?
From: Ebbie
Date: 10 Nov 09 - 12:29 PM

Amos, I have no doubt but that you'll get to do all that- you are only around 20 years old, aren't you? :)

Subject: RE: BS: List of things to do before dying?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Nov 09 - 12:33 PM

I'm sure he can do it, Ebbie. It doesn't really take long to develop a full appreciation for Shatner, Winona Ryder, and Dachshunds. All it takes, in fact, is a willing heart, a knowledgable instructor, and the desire to learn. ;-)

Subject: RE: BS: List of things to do before dying?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Nov 09 - 12:38 PM

Hey, Charley...great boat!

Subject: RE: BS: List of things to do before dying?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Nov 09 - 12:56 PM

No reply yet from Amos. He must be very carefully cogitating my generous offer.

Subject: RE: BS: List of things to do before dying?
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 10 Nov 09 - 03:43 PM

Finish the ruddy ironing. !!

Ha GreenWellies! You are having a laugh! Everyone knows that ironing is inherited. You never finish it. You just pass it on to someone else, kinda of like an illness. A giant, fresh smelling pile of "pay attention to me now!"

Some of you know that my daughter Andie passed in 2005 at age 23. For that reason, I am not afraid to go. I am not seeking it, but neither will I avoid it.

Subject: RE: BS: List of things to do before dying?
From: Amos
Date: 10 Nov 09 - 11:25 PM

LIttle Hawk:

Thanks for your candidate suggestions for the Bucket List. Please take them in alphabetical order and roll them into a single compressed cylinder, moisten lightly with lamb's milk, and place firmly into your own bucket.

A

Subject: RE: BS: List of things to do before dying?
From: GREEN WELLIES
Date: 11 Nov 09 - 09:11 AM

OK V.Tam, stuff the ironing ................... clean the car, maybe. Thought not !!

Subject: RE: BS: List of things to do before dying?
From: Neil D
Date: 11 Nov 09 - 11:26 PM

In the last 16 days I've been to two concerts, Leonard Cohen and Bob Dylan. That's two things crossed off of my list.

Subject: RE: BS: List of things to do before dying?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Nov 09 - 05:08 PM

I have yet to date Winona Ryder, and I'd also like to play at Budokan.

Subject: RE: BS: List of things to do before dying?
From: Ed T
Date: 12 Nov 09 - 05:35 PM

Buy a good book and a shake up flashlight, to be put in the casket....just in case.

Subject: RE: BS: List of things to do before dying?
From: gnu
Date: 13 Nov 09 - 01:41 PM

Ed!!!! I was gonna donate my body to Dalhousie Uni in Nova Scotia, but now I am torn.... what a great last laugh to have the mourners (revellers?) come in and see me laid out with a shakeable flash and a copy of War And Peace. >:-)

Hmmmm... cell phone? CD player...

Subject: RE: BS: List of things to do before dying?
From: gnu
Date: 13 Nov 09 - 01:44 PM

Mini-fan? I LIKE that one!

Subject: RE: BS: List of things to do before dying?
From: GUEST,goober
Date: 13 Nov 09 - 02:18 PM

Id like to have heard Jim Carroll sing.

Subject: RE: BS: List of things to do before dying?
From: Charley Noble
Date: 14 Nov 09 - 10:24 AM

Little Hawk-

Maybe we should start a "Great Boats Thread," while we still walk this Earth.

I've also had a fondness for the smaller Friendship Sloop, another classic Maine boat: click here for image!

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: BS: List of things to do before dying?
From: frogprince
Date: 14 Nov 09 - 10:36 AM

"Buy a good book and a shake up flashlight, to be put in the casket....just in case."

Better include an oxygen mask with a couple of bottles of oxygen, and a shovel. Unless you studied martial arts from the same guy who taught the heroine from "Kill Bill".

Subject: RE: BS: List of things to do before dying?
From: gnu
Date: 14 Nov 09 - 11:33 AM

Say... if cremation is the plan... a stick of TNT?

Subject: RE: BS: List of things to do before dying?
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 14 Nov 09 - 11:50 AM

stick of TNT

That'll show em! Snork.

Subject: RE: BS: List of things to do before dying?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Nov 09 - 02:08 PM

Charley Noble - Good idea. Start a "Great Boats" thread and post those pictures again. It could be a lot of fun. That 2nd boat is a real beauty too.