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A Wish for Autism
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Subject: A Wish for Autism From: Lizzie Cornish 1 Date: 21 Jan 10 - 12:29 PM The words below are from my friend's Facebook page, which she posted very recently. Her name is Deborah Harvey, and she is an incredibly talented writer and photographer. Many of her blogs on Myspace will bring tears, both of joy and laughter. She is the mother of 4 children, 2 of whom are on the Circle of Autism.. This is her wish: "My wish for 2010 is that people will understand autism is not a disease; people with autism are not looking for a cure but for ACCEPTANCE....93% won't copy and paste this, will YOU make this your status for at least one hour" - Deborah Harvey I have it on my page, please...take it to yours too and help spread this Wish around. |
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Subject: RE: A Wish for Autism From: Lizzie Cornish 1 Date: 21 Jan 10 - 12:29 PM Sorry. BS please. Thank you. |
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Subject: RE: A Wish for Autism From: GUEST Date: 21 Jan 10 - 12:46 PM All good fare. But autism carries responsibilities, and employers who are enlightened enough to employ autistics who are capable of holding down a job also need to protect others they will be working with. This may not happen and in my case didn't. I lost my job when the guy thought I was the re-incarnation of his ex-Bushido Aikido instructor. When I spoke to said instructor I found the guy had decided to carry-on the instruction in a dark alley. When the instructor was presented in court he did have a passing resemblance to me, which could have been resolved by asking me in the first place - but poor (non-existent in this case) social interaction is the defining symptom, is it not? As an altruistic folkie I ignored the warning signs, as a mark of my tolerance. As the security staff said - "you should have told us, we would have sacked him before he hit you". Who is the victim now? There is more to teach the general public than tolerance on this subject. Try teaching them how to educate autistic people, anew, every day, in the etiquette that we take for granted. And come back here and report on the success rate. Tolerance is only half the story. The received wisdom is that anti-social behaviour can and in these cases is more likely to, escalate unless it is checked regularly. I bear witness. |
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Subject: RE: A Wish for Autism From: Mrs.Duck Date: 21 Jan 10 - 12:47 PM This is appearing all over Facebook with different disabilities where 'autism' is written. I work with children who are on the autistic spectrum (not circle) and we do not treat them as having a disease but, whilst accepting their autism, we do have to work with them to ensure that they are able to be accepted in the wider community. |
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Subject: RE: A Wish for Autism From: Acorn4 Date: 21 Jan 10 - 02:16 PM As we've got an autistic son, I've out it on my facebook. |
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Subject: RE: A Wish for Autism From: Lizzie Cornish 1 Date: 21 Jan 10 - 02:31 PM Thank you, Acorn. I refer to it as the Circle of Autism, always will do...and I feel that actually, it's the wider community which needs to be educated, Mrs. D. I have learnt a great deal these past years from people on the Magic Circle, and I'd not change one single thing I've learnt about or experienced. At times, I have felt very humbled and very privileged to have learnt what I have, and quite frankly, it breaks my heart that so many in the wider community have absolutely no understanding whatsoever, nor seek to even try to understand. |
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Subject: RE: A Wish for Autism From: Richard Bridge Date: 21 Jan 10 - 02:34 PM I have seen more than a few dangerous sufferers from autism. It is a dysfunction. Sympathy and all that, but the sufferers need to manage their condition so as not to traverse social norms. |
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Subject: RE: A Wish for Autism From: GUEST Date: 21 Jan 10 - 02:43 PM As usual Mrs Duck makes a valid point. Some years ago I worked with a young man with Down's syndrome who had spent almost all his life in a specialist residential home for children and outside the mainstream education system. The staff, with the best possible motives, offered these youngsters a great deal of affection often in the form of hugs and other physical contact. When he was a strapping young man of 18 years a place was found for him in a small group semi independent-living home, with opportunity for further learning at a local college. Unfortunately, the experiences he had grown up with meant that he was blissfully unaware that the first person he saw (a total stranger and young woman of 18 who he wished to be friends with) did not understand his gesture of a large bear hug and both she (and the authorities) had to be reassured at some length that it was not an attempted sexual assault! It is necessary to both educate the 'community' in acceptance and to teach what is 'acceptable'
Thanks. -Joe Offer- |
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Subject: RE: A Wish for Autism From: olddude Date: 21 Jan 10 - 02:46 PM SO Much of my time Lizzie trying to help families with Autism. Some of the stories soooo heart breaking. I am working on a song right now for the autism community ... such a heart break. Oh I have 5 copies of "Healing our Autistic Children" which is just some ways to help improve not cure(no such thing) through learning and diet and some other things that just have helped.. good book actually... PM me her address and I will send it out. It came from one of the autism foundations that I work with Dan |
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Subject: RE: A Wish for Autism From: GUEST,leeneia Date: 21 Jan 10 - 05:06 PM I do not wish to sound cynical, but a few logical, practical, do-able suggestions would help far more than than that 'wish,' which is basically a cry of despair. Cries of despair are real, but they don't often get anything done. |
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Subject: RE: A Wish for Autism From: Donuel Date: 21 Jan 10 - 05:57 PM I might be right outside the circle of autism but my son is very much inside the circle but is only mildy autistic by diagnosis which has afforded him IEP programs his whole life. NOT ONE child in the neighborhood has ever played with him in the last 5 years. He won the National Geo 1st prize medal for his school but not the State last year. I know predjudice and fear acutely. I feel bad sometimes that he has been the butt of their jokes and isolationism. But that is all he's known and he takes it in stride with a happy attitude of "It doesn't matter" He has the gift of charm for his teachers, advisors, staff and administration. Everything I don't have. I am positive he will continue to do well and remain on the honor roll. Then, who knows... if he is lucky in love, the lady will be very fortunate. Living with severe forms of autism is a challenge I have not experienced. PS We were introduced to autism by professionals as the Spectrum or "rainbow" of autism. Circle seems fine by me. |
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Subject: RE: A Wish for Autism From: Genie Date: 21 Jan 10 - 06:11 PM Well said, Leeneia. Appeals for understanding, acceptance, and inclusion are good. But sweeping generalizations are not (generally). When you say " ... autism is not a disease; people with autism are not looking for a cure but for ACCEPTANCE. ..." it sort of implies that people with autism need no special help to thrive and function well in society. I don't think that's true in most cases. "Disease" isn't the right word or concept, but in many ways having autism is a disability that calls for remedial or special training or treatment. I hate the popular tendency to scoff at "political correctness," but sometimes it does become de rigeur in educated circles to use accepted terms & concepts -- such as that nobody is "disabled," only "other-abled" or "special." Sometimes it's nonsense. Blindness, deafness, severe arthritis, tone-deafness & very low intelligence are disabilities. Even though some people thus disabled may have exceptional abilities in other areas, that is not guaranteed. I am not yet convinced that having autism is -- other things being equal -- as desirable a condition as not having it. So I agree we should "accept" people with autism, just as we accept other people, whether they have to deal with "disabilities" or not. But what exactly does it mean to say you wouldn't like to find a cure for autism (or ways to prevent it)? If it gets to the point where 1 in 10 people have autism, is that just fine? |
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Subject: RE: A Wish for Autism From: olddude Date: 21 Jan 10 - 07:16 PM last stats i heard 1 out of every 150 children. i know severe autism first hand with my niece and with many friends.. words can't describe the tears of so many families. i have 10 copies of the book i just checked, i will mail to anyone who needs one free till they are gone |
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Subject: RE: A Wish for Autism From: Lizzie Cornish 1 Date: 22 Jan 10 - 03:30 AM Thank you, Dan. You're always so kind. x I'd love to have a book, and I'll pass it on to Deb as well. I'll PM you. Thank you. x OK, the things I've learnt about autism over the past years, things I never knew before...and I know that the Circle covers many different aspects, but this is the Circle that I have discovered so far. First of all, I was shocked at how little I knew. Then I felt sad...and angry too that there was so little information around, unless you start to search for it. I learnt about a terrible fear, a fear which dominates the minds of so many on The Circle. A never ending fear that brings with it almost an animal instinct for survival. Imagine living in a world where the faces of those around you are unreadable. No expression means anything to you, so you are completely unable to understand what is meant when a 'smile' happens, or laughter, or a face becomes contorted in anger, wrinkled by sadness.... Imagine a world where you often cannot get your words to leave the inside of your head, and even though your mind is a-buzz with feelings, opinions, emotions, they are never able to reach other people. Imagine *longing* to be hugged, but being terrified of physical contact. Imagine having the most terrible view of yourself, a self-loathing that runs so deep inside your soul that you can barely function at times....and you know, you KNOW that eventually others will realise why you hate yourself, and hate you also. Imagine having a gift, a gift that came with being born, whether it be painting, songwriting, musicianship, writing, dancing....but it is a gift that also brings much pain, because you have to be the best, even though you always believe you are the worst. You have to make that painting Perfection, likewise the song, the book, the dance, the sport... People tell you have this 'gift' yet you feel cursed by it, because of the anguish that it causes. You don't want people to see your paintings, you don't want them to hear your songs, because the thought of criticism breaks your heart, the thought that others will start to see that *you* are the person you know yourself to be, and the self-loathing has taught you exactly who that person is.... So you hide your paintings, you don't sing your songs, you never let your beautiful words be read by others.....but you simply can't stop creating, creating, creating, because even though you may live in a world which seems silent, to other people, you never know silence... The voice inside you, be it your own, or those of others, never shuts down, so sleep is hard....and you have this terrible, aching tiredness.... But you learn, you grow....You teach yourself humour, teach yourself about expressions and you start to finally understand, the merest bit, about this world, but nothing comes easy, and always you are on your guard, for the expression you haven't read up on, for the words that you don't understand the real meaning of.... You hear too loudly, too clearly...and unexpected sounds scare you. You 'see' too clearly, noticing everything, and sometimes to look into the eyes of others is overwhelmingly scary, because you are frightened of what you will see there, and...it almost physically hurts you to do that. Your sense of smell is extremely intense, and you cannot understand why people want to wear perfume, or cannot smell some of the horrible smells that you can. Your sense of touch is of the same intenseness, which is why you often don't like others touching you, in fact, at times, you can't bear to be touched or touch others... The terror of being in school, surrounded by faces you cannot read, in an atmosphere of constant wariness, waiting for the aggression to start, living on your nerves, to the point where at times, you can't take it any longer and you lash out at anyone who is around you, in blind panic...but they do not understand.... 'They' do not understand. They are all too busy, learning about things that don't really matter. Despite so many people feeling as you do, no-one is talking about it in schools. No-one is starting to explain. No-one is starting to understand that actually, you don't want to be in a huge class, but would far prefer to be on your own, just having to relate to your teacher, because you love to learn, love to know, WANT to understand why YOUR world is as it is, and 'their' world is not. Why don't they understand that you need to live in a 'cotton wool world' where you are surrounded by love and understanding. Not pity, hell, you don't need or want pity, because you are an intelligent person, often vastly so...but everything is tuned up too high, to the point of Highly Over Sensitive, where everything hurts you, be it physical or emotional. You realise that somehow, you have to learn to cope, and if you're lucky you are brought into contact with those who are there to do exactly that.... But often you are not...and your life sinks down into drink and drugs, anything to shut out the pain... Your family feel as though they've lost you, but of course, they haven't, they've just never leart to understand the world you have been born into. There is nothing wrong with wanting to live alone. It is, at times, the most relaxing moment of your day....but 'alone' in this busy world, is becoming more and more difficult to find. Often though, 'alone' turns into 'intense loneliness. Every relationship tears you apart, because your emotions are wide open, red raw, and often, if you have ever let yourself fall 'in love' you are unable to bear the all-encompassing pain that goes with love ending..because to you, love should never end... The world doesn't understand that behind the so often, seemingly violent and angry behaviour lies the gentlest of people, who only want love and affection...and a quiet, peaceful life where you know that you can trust someone implicitily, to the point of all your senses and emotions calming down... If love dies, then that is it, because the unbearable pain can never be endured again, and so...you never love again, thus protecting yourself completely. It is the only thing you feel you can do. Sometimes, you are unable to live life 'outside' at all, and need to be looked after 24/7. People think you are stupid, unable to think as they do....but as you sit under you 'hugging blanket'...the one that covers your head, moulds close to your body, and keeps you 'safe', your mind never stops thinking, never stops agonising that someday, someone will understand, someone will be able to unlock the door for you...Until that day, you rock back and forth, as that brings it's own comfort to you.. |
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Subject: RE: A Wish for Autism From: Lizzie Cornish 1 Date: 22 Jan 10 - 03:45 AM What the world doesn't understand is that if 'they' finally find the 'autism gene' and decide to remove it, then 'they' will remove future generations of the most gifted, talented people, the people who are Jewels amongst us... And our world will sink into its own Silence, bereft of so many colours of humanity. The high intelligence, the beautiful songs, the wondrous paintings, the words, feelings and emotions that so often flow from inside the minds of those on The Circle, who, unable to pass those feelings on to us verbally, do it so many other ways..... And that is why you will often stand in front of a painting and feel the enlightened. It is why you will hear a song of the most utmost and intense Beauty that moves you to tears, that can almost turn your life around, as will a book, a poem, a dance, an athlete.. And don't even get me started on the Scientific side, because without Bill Gates and his 'On The Circle' mind, I'd not even be writing this, nor would you be reading it. Autism IS a Gift. But it is a Gift to US, not to those who live within it, and we owe those on The Circle so very much, because without their wonderful minds, their love, their feelings, we would be so much poorer. Therefore, it is not just an obligation but a Duty to pass the Understanding and Acceptance of Autism around the world and to ensure that every single child from early school age upwards is aware, so that they grow up knowing how to speak The Language of Autism. As I said, the Circle is a Magical one, even with, and despite, the terrible sadness. I believe that we are ALL on The Circle, in one way or another. I know my family most definitely is. But it is up to each and every one of us to realise what precious gifts those on the Inner Circle of Autism have given us, and will continue to give us. It is way past time to give back, for all we have been blessed with. |
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Subject: RE: A Wish for Autism From: Folkiedave Date: 22 Jan 10 - 10:43 AM This is appearing all over Facebook with different disabilities where 'autism' is written. I work with children who are on the autistic spectrum (not circle) and we do not treat them as having a disease but, whilst accepting their autism, we do have to work with them to ensure that they are able to be accepted in the wider community. I am not aware of anyone who believes that someone seen to be on the autism spectrum is capable of being cured. Certainly in my limited experience your description of working with people (not just children) who are somewhere on the autism spectrum is precisely the same as yours, the aim of integration. People with Asperger's syndrome are on the autism spectrum and are perfectly capable of functioning at quite a high level. My wife sees a lot of people who have Asperger's. She works at a University in learner support and deals with a wide range of people who have some learning difficulties which prevents them reaching their full abilities without support. Those with Asperger's (often some of the easier ones to deal with) achieve degrees in a whole range of subjects and can work at doctoral level given sufficient support. Should they want to of course. |
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Subject: RE: A Wish for Autism From: Donuel Date: 22 Jan 10 - 10:58 AM Reading people's faces is a fascinating observation. When my son was still in a pre speech faze at age 4 and 5 he would often get close to a person and study thier face with some intensity. It was if reading faces were a challenge that he really wanted to crack. |
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Subject: RE: A Wish for Autism From: Wesley S Date: 22 Jan 10 - 11:25 AM Liz - Autism is a GIFT? What a crock. Not to this dad it isn't.Let's take a poll of every family that has a child with autism and see how many agree with you. And your discription of someone with autism fits SOME people with autism but not all. Please don't make that assumption. My son is nothing like what you've described. I've said it before: If you've met one person with autism you've met one person with autism. |
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Subject: RE: A Wish for Autism From: olddude Date: 22 Jan 10 - 11:30 AM Curing autism ? Sadly the fact is after so many years of direct experience with folks NO ... making a child better through specific education, diet, Yes .. but it takes money and a lot of it. In this nation nothing is paid for. I can tell you stories of folks losing their homes because every penny went to help their child ... The meds that most serious cases need are not labeled for "autism" hence even when you have insurance, they won't pay for it because it was lets say for ADD not autism ... terrible. One of the things that I have seen many times is a case where a child has autism, doesn't speak, the parents will do quite a bit of intervention and things seem to go really well and say my child is cured and I did it this way or that way... then about age 7 they get nailed really hard with the rage and the other terrible problems because the nature of the disorder changes somewhat as the child grows. Heart breaking is the only word. No two cases of serious autism is the same I think. |
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Subject: RE: A Wish for Autism From: Mrs.Duck Date: 22 Jan 10 - 01:17 PM Hallelujah, Wesley, couldn't have put it better! |
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Subject: RE: A Wish for Autism From: Wesley S Date: 22 Jan 10 - 02:46 PM "What the world doesn't understand is that if 'they' finally find the 'autism gene' and decide to remove it, then 'they' will remove future generations of the most gifted, talented people, the people who are Jewels amongst us..." And what Liz doesn't get is that if "they" finally remove the autism gene then thousands of people will literally weep for joy that it has been eraticated. The sooner the better as far as I'm concerned. And a Nobel Prize to "them" too. |
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Subject: RE: A Wish for Autism From: Lizzie Cornish 1 Date: 22 Jan 10 - 03:09 PM Sorry, Wesley, but I know quite a few people these days with autism, and I wouldn't want them 'removed' or not to have existed in the first place. Yeesh! I said, earlier on, that I realised autism has many different aspects, so I hoped that would be sufficient for folks to understand. We are all different though, no matter how we arrive in this world, there is not one of us who is the same. You know, your remark reminds me of a young woman I heard once, who was on the radio, giving an interview about her new book. She was born with Down's Syndrome, and of course, as you now know, they can 'eradicate' any Down's Syndrome baby these days, before it's born. She was horrified at the thought that had her mother done that to her, then she'd have had no life at all. She had done many things in her young life..but above all else, she was happy, despite the many obstacles she faced. When my daughter was around 3 years old, she fell off a wall, whilst she was surrounded by people. I was sitting right beside her, it was only a comparitively low wall, and I had friends the other side and right in front of her, yet still...she managed to overbalance whilst sitting still...The noise from when her head hit the road was heard over the other side of the street, as the street was busy with people waiting for the village carnival to go through...EVERYONE thought she was dead....including myself, so when she cried, I didn't believe it. I picked her up and ran home, and we took her straight to the hospital. We were lucky, she survived, intact...but if she hadn't, if she had been severely brain damaged, I'd have loved just as much. When I had Josh I was 40 and I had to almost shout at the doctors that I did NOT want the Down's Syndrome tests, as they kept on and on and on at me. My daughter is on the autistic circle somewhere, but it makes no difference to me at all. My brother is there too, even now realising that fact himself, as his own daughter now works in a home for autistic children recently opened in their village. My uncle, who has always lived alone. My best friend's son, with Aspergers, my daughter's friend, who even to this day at 23 still won't look you in the eye. Rosie's daughter, Daisy, who is a 24/7 lassie, needing constant care, but deeply loved by her mother and father, despite the terrible pressures and sense of loss... You can start out with the most perfect child, but it doesn't always stay that way..as many parents know, be they the parents of the child with autism, or simply the parents whose child has something else happen to them in life. The autism gene, along with the Down's Syndrome one, belongs to the people who have them, just as our own genes belong to us. Each of us is different, and important...and we each have a right to be here.. I'm really sorry about your son, and for the unhappiness and sadness it's obviously caused, but in my opinion, the autism gene should stay right where it is...and the rest of us should be learning as much as we can about autism. |
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Subject: RE: A Wish for Autism From: Wesley S Date: 22 Jan 10 - 03:38 PM Liz - Seriously - what is the color of the sun on your planet? No one wants to eliminate the children with autism. We want to rid the world of autism. Can't you see that there is a difference? Do you really want the autism gene out there so that other children and familys have to experience it? |
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Subject: RE: A Wish for Autism From: SINSULL Date: 22 Jan 10 - 04:19 PM My family has the cystic fibrosis gene - recessive, but when two recessives meet the child is positive for cystic fibrosis. I will tell these children - 5 so far although two died in agony - that they should cling to their gene, embrace it and share it whenever they can. My nephew treasures his beautiful daughter Hailey. He also prays every day for a cure to release her from the prison she is locked in -unable to speak or communicate without the help of a digital board. Imagine wanting only to be alone in your little world and constantly being driven out of it by people who insist you communicate. Autism is a vicous disability. It will be understood and eliminated in my niece's life time. I pray she he is helped in the process. |
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Subject: RE: A Wish for Autism From: Donuel Date: 22 Jan 10 - 04:36 PM Good intentions are being poked a bit too hard at the moment. Let me describe an epiphany I had regarding a possible cause of autism. (I tried to describe it to my sons elementary teachers but was met with the crazy person eye roll) As I would in generating a new invention, I looked at as much on the shelf facts, research and curious discoveries that I could before processing and focusing all the diverse data into a hypothesis. Mind you I am motivated by living with an autistic son for 13 years. First my conclusion: I believe the cause of autism is a protein malfunction. The protein in question is the one that uncouples/destroys duplicate neurons that were naturally formed as redundent neurons in the early development of the brain between ages 1 and 5. Experpt of some of my selected supporting facts; Redundent neuronal connections in an infants brain is part of the overall plasticity that helps to heal any damage to the brain easily as well as accelerate learning. Redundant neurons gradually diminish until few redundant neurons exist any longer and brain plasticity is at its minimum. The brains of autistic children are shown to weigh more and be more massive than normal brains. This is at its peak at ages 4-7. This could correspond to the failure to re-absorb redundent neurons. More neurons, more mass. From my own observations the symptoms of autism seems to mesh with the idea that messages are being overprocessed, sent on circuitous paths and cause overstimmulated responses to smel,l taste, noise and other stimuli. The protein respondsible for paring down redundent neurons [the "just in case extra extra" or the "back ups in case of system failure neurons"] is for some reason not being told to do its job, or is not doing its job properly, or is not being formed in the first place due to genetic, exogenetic or enviormental factors. Research needs to focus on finding this protein, understand its function more clearly and learn enough to perhaps create therapies or cures. etc etc In short autistic kids have too much brain wiring that causes thoughts and sensations to get overly jumbled and confused. That can be a very scary brain to live inside. The stress of living with such a brain can manifest itself in nearly infinite ways. This is soley my idea but as in everything else in life there has to be someone else who thinks in a similar and obvious way and has expressed somthing like this idea. Getting someone to do something about it is the problem. In my case I am married to the person who is respondsible for national programs of medical reseach specializing in child disorders. So I'm seemingly well positioned to inspire a research group to look into this matter. Especailly with stimulus funding needing to be spent. Wish me luck. Or curse my blunder, anything to help understand autism is welcomed. |
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Subject: RE: A Wish for Autism From: SINSULL Date: 22 Jan 10 - 05:00 PM Lizzie, I apologize for being facetious. I am trying to understand. Are you suggesting that parents should prefer to have an autistic child over a non-autistic child? So everyone here seems to have experience with a family member or friend with autism. We love, cherish and appreciate each and every one. I for one wish my niece who is barely functional were not autistic. Her parents want her to go to a regular school, go to her prom, marry, - none of these things are in the foreseeable future. Hailey attends classes for autistic children. To keep her in this world she requires daily training with specialists in her home. Every day my nephew has to make arrangements to accomodate visiting teachers - weekends too. Without it, Hailey slips back into her cocoon. The expenses, even with aid, is extraordinary. Both parents work and arrange their schedules around Hailey's teachers. Is this the gift you think is so critical to keep alive? I don't understand. She is not a savant. There is no evident miraculous artistic ability. She relies on her parents every minute just to exist safely. Mary |
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Subject: RE: A Wish for Autism From: Lizzie Cornish 1 Date: 22 Jan 10 - 05:49 PM "Imagine wanting only to be alone in your little world and constantly being driven out of it by people who insist you communicate. Autism is a vicous disability." Perhaps those who refuse to understand are causing the 'viciousness' Mary? I see autistic children who are sent to mainstream schools, and it is the most frightening place you can send them! They don't WANT to be with masses of people who scare the shite out of them. This mania, and it IS a mania, that now pervades society is almost out of control. I recall my friend telling me about a little boy in her playgroup, where she worked. He was terrified of the other children, didn't want to play with them, didn't want to socialise. So they forced him to. They told his parents, indeed it was even blamed on the mother, for being 'too possessive'...I tried to tell her that some children do not want to be in groups, they are happy alone, but at that time, she didn't understand. She does now. Her own son is autistic. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be alone. Nothing. If that is what you want. There is nothing in the law of humans that dictates that all of us must live in large social groups, nothing, and yet this mania now dominates and it is, quite literally, driving many children on the autism circle up the wall. So, what do they do in these mainstream schools? Do they sit quietly and learn? No, they create havoc. And WHY do they create havoc? They don't mean to, they are just shite scared and angry that they have to spend time in a place they hate. Next door to me is the home for five fully supervised autistic adults. They are classed as being on the 'anti-social' circle and having severe social problems. I only ever hear one person, and that is a young girl. Sometimes she screams and screams.....and what does she scream? YOU DON'T ****UNDERSTAND!!!!!**** YOU DON'T *****UNDERSTAND ME!***** She's dead right. They don't. I see her, nearly every day, as I stand on my staircase, in the garden, and she's looking up at me. I wave, she waves back. Sometimes she says a few words, other times we communicate with our hands, if she's in her quiet mood. She has a right to her silence. She has a right to her anger. She has a right to her life. Tell me, what if the world DID understand her? What if the world had treated her differently from the day it was known she had autism? What if she hadn't had to go to school, become bewildered, terrified, angry? What if she'd been allowed to live a simple, quiet life, surrounded by people who understood how sensitive she was, how so many things 'hurt' her? What if.........? Do you think that then, she may not have ended up in a home where she has to scream "YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND ME!" to people who are supposed to be her 'carers'? "Do you really want the autism gene out there so that other children and familys have to experience it?" Kimmy would not be without her Ben. Rosie would not be without her Daisy. Autism is something which has touched their world deeply, but it has also touched their souls deeply, made THEM the women they now are. It has made them so caring and compassionate towards others who need that compassion, and it has also made them fighters and warriors for their children when they meet with 'official' people who profess to care but who really don't give a fuck. So without the autism gene, there would be no Bill Gates, no Stephen Spielberg, many of our Great Artists, some of our best Musicians and Songwriters, our most Creative People. Here.....in this important and inspirational film you will hear a very different language. The first part of it is in the language of the lady, Amanda Baggs, herself, and the second part is where she tells you what her language means. Ananda is autistic. 'In My Language' From that link "....The thinking of people like me is only taken seriously if we learn *your* language..." It is way past time that we learnt the Language of Autism, as we should all learn Sign Language and Braille...taught from kindergarten upwards, so that it as natural to us all, as our own language. We are not the ones who should be dictating that EVERYONE *must* be defined by OUR rules and regulations. There ARE no rules and regulations. And listen to what she says about people regarding her as being confusing, when it is actually THEY who are confused because they do NOT understand and refuse to. The Autism gene has the right to live, as does every person who has it running through them...and if people cannot understand that, after watching Amanda Baggs (from the video) an Autism Activist Amanda's site |
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Subject: RE: A Wish for Autism From: Lizzie Cornish 1 Date: 22 Jan 10 - 06:00 PM Donuel, you and I agree totally on the over stimulus. I think your research is wonderful! This over stimulus, I've realised is not just in the autistic brain, but also in the dyslexic and dyspraxic brain as well. My friend is dyspraxic and she over worries about everything, her sense of smell is profound as is her sense of touch, of being touched, and her vision is incredibly acute. She can do many things at once, especially driving, where she can drive whilst taking in EVERYTHING that is happening on both sides of the car, window wise...It frightens the beejayzus out of me at times! :0) She remembers everything people say..and once, I was talking to her in the street, and I noticed that she noticed EVERYTHING! She was waving to people in cars, saying hello to people on the street, noticing who'd walked past on the other side of the street, the smells she could smell, what she could hear...ALL whilst talking to me. Her senses never stop. She sleeps with earplugs in, as she hears everything...her sense of taste is acute too. You are most definitely on to something here, and at times I get so damned frustrated because the solution is out there and it's staring us in the face!!! It is all so damn easy to see..... But the sense of deep fear, the ever pervading fear, which comes from the over stimulated mind and senses is the thing that causes such distress to so many autistic people, I feel. I really hope, with all my heart that you and your wife are able to take these thoughts of yours and move them forward, and if you ever need anyone to shout and scream to the rooftops, on your behalf, then I'm right here! |
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Subject: RE: A Wish for Autism From: Wesley S Date: 22 Jan 10 - 06:00 PM "The Autism gene has the right to live" You are SO full of crap. And like many autistic people you live in your own little world. Far be it from me do drag you kicking and screaming into the real world. |
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Subject: RE: A Wish for Autism From: Lizzie Cornish 1 Date: 22 Jan 10 - 06:08 PM "Her parents want her to go to a regular school, go to her prom, marry, - none of these things are in the foreseeable future." Why do they want her to go to school? It's not that important, truly, Mary. If she did not have autism she may still choose never to marry. They must learn to love their daughter with utter freedom. Her life is hers, and it is important. They may feel she is barely functioning, but watch Amanda's film, read her site and you'll learn a very different story. It is not what WE want for our children that matters, but what they want for themselves. I have always told my children that whatever they choose in life, that's fine by me, whether it be to marry, to remain single, to live with a donkey, to stay at home, to leave....whatever they want. School is not important, nor the Prom, nor even marriage...and whilst it would be nice to have grandchildren, it is not on the horizon for us all. Hailey is their much loved child, and they are blessed to have her, even with all the complications, but if you let go of some of the complications, some of the desires, then life gets just a little easier. I wish them all well, Mary...and I didn't take offence at your words earlier, not at all. I just wish I could help take some of the pain away for them all. |
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Subject: RE: A Wish for Autism From: Donuel Date: 22 Jan 10 - 06:09 PM My language like my son's was one in which everything was abbreviated. While it made perfect sense to me, other people did not make the same cross references that seemed obvious and damned clever to me. My son was mainstreamed to his benefit. The kids tease him by chanting his name in the fashion of Norm walking into Cheers, but it doesn't bother him. He likes it. Regarding the "autism gene". There ain't no such thing. IT is neither identified or assumed to be causal. If there is an positively identified autism gene please let me know. The wonderful sentiments, campassion and empathy regarding the real life respect and love for autistic children expressed by Lizzie is moving. Accomplished people in history who emerged from autism with only delayed speech are the lucky ones. The severe cases are brutal. Inside a confused over reaching consciousness of a severely autistic person are so full of anguish that the person may only be able their attention by abusing themselves. Yes even pain is preferable and relaxing in comparison to a screaming world of every nerve desperately seeking some clarity. I have no qualms with some form of sedation therapy for those who need it. |
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Subject: RE: A Wish for Autism From: Lizzie Cornish 1 Date: 22 Jan 10 - 06:09 PM "You are SO full of crap. And like many autistic people you live in your own little world. Far be it from me do drag you kicking and screaming into the real world." I'm not autistic, Wesley. I have it in my family though. Tell me, is YOUR world the *real* one then? And if so, by what right do you deem that to be? |
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Subject: RE: A Wish for Autism From: Wesley S Date: 22 Jan 10 - 06:14 PM And yes - I would trade away every Stephen Spielberg movie in a heartbeat if it meant my son could talk and not wave chopsticks in front of the TV. I've sure your "stance" makes you feel like Donna Quixote but all you've managed to do is piss off someone like me who lives with autism IN OUR HOUSE every day. Maybe if austism lived next door and I was able to wave at it and say hello from time to time I would feel differently. Probably not. |
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Subject: RE: A Wish for Autism From: Wesley S Date: 22 Jan 10 - 08:53 PM "Tell me, is YOUR world the *real* one then?" Actually - Yes it is. And 149 out of 150 people would agree with me. My job as a responsible parent is to make sure that my son can live in and cope with that world. My goal is to make sure he can survive and be self sufficient after we are gone. |
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Subject: RE: A Wish for Autism From: olddude Date: 22 Jan 10 - 10:00 PM My goal is to make sure he can survive and be self sufficient after we are gone. The sincere wish of every family for sure is that this will happen. I also was told by one of the big autism foundation that the stress put on a couple dealing with sever autism results in an 70% marriage breakup. It is a family tragedy for sure for everyone involved. The latest stats say 1 out of every 92 male children .. we are losing a generation of our kids |
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Subject: RE: A Wish for Autism From: ragdall Date: 22 Jan 10 - 10:13 PM Here.....in this important and inspirational film you will hear a very different language. The first part of it is in the language of the lady, Amanda Baggs, herself, and the second part is where she tells you what her language means. Lizzie, Thank you for posting that link. The message is very powerful and worth consideration. I posted the link on my school district teachers' message board for educators to see. rags |
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Subject: RE: A Wish for Autism From: catspaw49 Date: 22 Jan 10 - 10:23 PM I have stayed away quite purposefully from this thread, partly because I have been at this now for 18 years.......yeah, Tris is going to be 18, hard as that is to believe. I really don't want to play here, but Wesley is absolutely right and if I can back him up here, I will. "My goal is to make sure he can survive and be self sufficient after we are gone." This is the job......This will not change. I have seen some good info on this thread along with some of the deepest horseshit and misinformation imagineable. The idea that autism can include so very many and exceedingly different symptoms is foreign to most people. autism affects each one in a different way depending on other significant factors. It is many things, but it is no gift any more than it is always a sociopathic disability. I have 2 kids. One is a borderline sociopath controlled by meds and the other developmentally delayed (that's a real dumbass phrase btw, is he going to catch up?)......the one has nothing diagnosable by the autistic spectrum, the other has many but he's nowhere close to sociopathic. That's a stupid simplification and I should erase it. Yet I think I'll let it stand. What I'm driving at is that there is no single bright line to explain autism. If I had to think of something that is somehow in common across the board, its fear. I'll let Wesley and others tell about their own children, but let me tell you about Tris. It took some time for us to identify the reason as fear because Tris is a happy kid. Yeah....He is! AND....He relates well with others and is extremely well liked. It is no exaggeraration to say everyone loves Tristan. But the fear of not knowing EXACTLY how and when things will happen..........yeah........Karen and I refer to it as "Rain Man Syndrome.".....but it really is no joke. Tris has significant delays/retardation and also a major wpeech problem but what gets to him is not knowing his "schedule." When are we gong to Aunt Connie's Daddy? Saturday When Saturday? Oh, I guess we'll leave about 10. Are we going to stop at McDonalds? I dunno'.....we'll see. When? Well, Saturday..... Are we coming home Saturday. Yeah, unless something else comes up We stay at Aunt Connie's? No, we'll come home probably. Saturday? Yeah Daddy? Yeah? Are we going to Aunt Connie's Saturday? Yeah What time? Like I said....about 10 On Saturday? Yeah Are we coming home Yeah Saturday? Yeah Daddy? Yeah Are we going to McDonalds on Saturday? OKAY....OKAY.....Tris....listen Okay We're going to Aunt Connie's at 10 o'clock on Saturday and we'll stop at McDonalds. We'll come home that night. Saturday night? Yeah We go to Aunt Connie's Saturday? Yes Tris....We go to Aunt Connie's at 10 on Saturday and we'll stop at McDonalds and come home that night. Got it? Okay Daddy This conversation will be repeated at least 4-5 times a day every day til we go. Seems silly but what that really is is fear. He takes great comfort and has the need for routines and schedules. In some ways that thing has worled well for Tris because we identified it and built it in to many of his everyday hours and his school time as well. But if you want to see a serious panic scene.....vary the routine. The only gift part of this is in the way a lot of people have worked hard to make it useable to Tris instead of a liability, but liability it certainly is. And that's just one small part.......and the least serious part of Tristan's problems.....and problems they are. There are also serious pitfalls for him with even that seemingly innocuous problem. Others are larger by far and potentially more damaging in the long haul. Using language to give things a better face just pisses me off. Developmentally Delayed my fuckin' ass.....................I'm also sick to death of assorted experts telling us what these kids like Tris and Weley's son are thinking and why. MAJOR BULLSHIT!!!!! I'm not Black but if I want some idea of the African American experince and situation, I can read many books and talk to people who are. Same as with someone who is blind or deaf.....I can't be them but I can get an idea about what it may be like for them. People like Tristan don't write books and there is no use asking what they're thinking or questions about their relationship to society. Stop this sillyass generalizing and candy coating. Every situation is different. Spaw |
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Subject: RE: A Wish for Autism From: GUEST,leeneia Date: 23 Jan 10 - 12:03 AM Thank you, spaw. Thank you very much. You are such a brave, GOOD man. |
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Subject: RE: A Wish for Autism From: Lizzie Cornish 1 Date: 23 Jan 10 - 04:10 AM "I've sure your "stance" makes you feel like Donna Quixote but all you've managed to do is piss off someone like me who lives with autism IN OUR HOUSE every day. Maybe if austism lived next door and I was able to wave at it and say hello from time to time I would feel differently. Probably not." If you read my posts, instead of exploding over them, you'd see that autism doesn't just live 'next door' it lives all around me. My daughter is on the circle, as is, I think, my son. My late father-in-law barely held a conversation with me in the 20 years that I knew him. He was like this with everyone, but Vi, his wife, who now lives with me, despite my divorce, looked after him like a child. She never questioned why he was like this, it was just the way he was, and that was that. Vi herself is very much as Spaw describes above. She is filled with fears, always has been. Going outside, for her, is a totally fear filled situation. When she did used to go out, (no longer, as she's now 95) she'd literally do it all by routine. The taxi HAD to be there at midday to pick her up. If he was a few seconds late, she'd start to panic, absolutely panic. She'd go to the same shops, on the same day, at the same time. Even to this day it makes no difference if its Christmas Day or not, if that happens to fall on Washing Day, so be it..the washing still has to be done. She has lived her entire life this way. Holidays were spent in Holiday Camps, where again, there was a routine, so she'd know exactly what she was doing each day. Even recently, when she was so sick, with the flu, she HAD to get up and do her routine, because without that routine, she is sunk. Sunk deep in fear. She was terrified of moving into a home for the elderly, literally terrified, as she *knows* that 'they kill of the oldest people first' and nothing you say will convince her otherwise. Lunch is at 1pm. Tea around 7pm. I have got her to relax a little about tea. However, when she used to cook for herself, in her own house, she would have every meal at exactly the same, precise time. She never invited friends in to her house, as that is 'not what a house is for' in her mind. Strangers stay outside. Homes are where you are safe. Holly, another friend of my daughters. The most beautiful child you've ever seen. She is exactly as Spaw has spoken of above, about his son. "What's for tea? When are we having it? What are we doing when we've finished it? What are we doing tomorrow? When? Where? Why?" The fear dominates, the timetable helps the fear a little, as it leaves far less room for the unpredictable. My daughter told me only recently that when she was at school she would make 'escape plans' in her head for the worst case scenario happening, be it the bullying, the teachers screaming at the bad children, the bad kids being put next to her due to her quietness..... When she'd made her plan, she felt safer, just a little safer. As a child, even if I raised my voice just a fraction, she'd be in tears. Imagine how she felt when stressed out teachers lost it with stressed out children, many of whom should were in the worst place they could ever be in. Until people understand the overwhelming, all consuming FEAR that lives inside so many people on the autism circle, and then find ways to alleviate that fear, things won't improve. Many autistic children do need a 'cotton wool world' around them, where they know what is going to happen each day and where they feel safe. By insisting that so many children on the autism circle go to mainstream schools we are damaging them beyond belief, because far from 'giving them a normal life' we are putting them into the worst situation they could possibly be in. Not only that, but it is having a huge effect on those children without autism, who see the anger, the 'bad behaviour' and copy it themselves, thinking "Well, if he/she can get away with it, then so can I!" and so it spirals out of control and ONE teacher is left to deal with it all. Of course, the 'bad behaviour' is simply the fear coming out, and the fear, understandably, turns to anger pretty damn fast. Children with autism should not be in mainstream schools. They are there, in this country, because of one woman's crusade for ALL children to have mainstream education. She has now admitted that was a very wrong idea. They are also there because parents, who perhaps haven't yet come to understand the fears inside their children, want (quite naturally) their children to have a 'normal' education. Well, a normal education, for many autistic children is a one to one education, in a safe, quiet controlled environment, where they are not having to deal with almost life and death situations all the time, surrounded by thousands of children whose expressions and actions they do not understand, and surrounded by children who so often bully and ridicule them. I was told, by a stunned teacher, how 'sensitive' my child was. It was said to me almost as if it were a crime. She didn't know what to do with a sensitive child. I guess it's because so often her working environment is about 'de-sensitising' a child. So yes, Wesley, it lives with me, in my children, in my brother, in my uncle, in my marriage, even though that marriage is now no longer. I am truly sorry about your son. I know, as in many cases, that there are totally different extremes of autism, from the very mild to the terrible, but I still feel that removing the gene is not the right thing. For me, the way forward lies in being able to 'tune down' the brain, to stop the over-sensitivity, so that sounds become of normal level, vision, smell too..and thoughts become slower, sleep becomes not filled with nightmares.. Kimmy was terrified of her son when he was 10. Now, he is 16 and far more able to cope with life, as I stated above. Her husband also has Aspergers, and at times he becomes pretty darn cruel to her, but she has learnt to accept and to cope, because she loves the times when he isn't like that, and being a nurse she has researched it all, knows what surrounds her. Her wish too is for Ben to be able to live his life when they are gone. She does her best. It is all she can do. It is all any of us can do. For those who are interested, there is a brilliant book out there called 'An Asperger Marriage' which is written by a husband and wife, chapter by chapter. He has Aspergers, she doesn't...and it is the story of how they plough their way through a rocky field. They are still together because each has come to understand the other. When her husband finds talking beyond him, he'll go into his study and send her emails, emails filled with love and affection...and she has come to know that he loves her, even if he only tells her once a year or less. It's a very touching book. An Asperger Marriage by Gisela and Chris Slater-Walker Autism - a different perspective And here is one of the loveliest and wisest people on Youtube. He is autistic and he is DETERMINED to get the world to understand what goes on 'inside autism'. He has made a range of videos and is now writing a book. I'd recommend that everyone watches all his videos, because each one teaches you something new. In this one, Wolf talks about how parents need to let to go of their guilt, anguish and self blame. It is a wonderful video, for a wonderful, brave and intelligent man who has experienced some terrible things in his life. I hope it helps some people. Autistic Werewolf - His Videos |
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Subject: RE: A Wish for Autism From: Lizzie Cornish 1 Date: 23 Jan 10 - 05:31 AM Donuel, a video you may have seen, but if not, it might interest you. Temple Grandin, talking about Sensory Overload in autistic children. Sensory Overload |
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Subject: RE: A Wish for Autism From: GUEST,leeneia Date: 23 Jan 10 - 10:19 AM Thanks for the link, Lizzie. I had to point out to my husband that in the audience one can see 13 women and one man. Yet who's in charge of the budgets and the programs? Men.) |
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Subject: RE: A Wish for Autism From: olddude Date: 23 Jan 10 - 10:35 AM Here is my beef, a sick child, any sick child and the community comes out in droves to help .. we have fund raisers and chicken bbq's and rally as we all should for any sick child with cancer or anything else for that matter. A family that has a child with severe autism, people look at them with disgust in a store when the outburst occurs. I watched one young mom with tears screaming HE IS AUTISTIC CUT ME AN F'IN BREAK OK ... my heart broke, the more awareness the better, the more compassion the better, the more support, the better. The more autism is discussed the more understanding and compassion folks will have. It is a terrible hard road, I could go on a thousand years with horror stories, Like how my friend 6 months pregnant lost her baby when her 8 year in a autism fit kicked her in the stomach and nearly killed her and did kill the baby ... and it wasn't his fault .. it was autism .. that is the tip of the iceberg some even worse ... and little help from anyone .. most face it alone ... completely alone ... and most lose their spouse over it also ... |
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Subject: RE: A Wish for Autism From: olddude Date: 23 Jan 10 - 10:46 AM If you live in the states, look into a program in your area called "Project Lifesaver" the police put a tracking device on your child with severe autism so if he or she wanders off, they can find them quickly. It is a really cool looking kids watch in different colors. That is the other thing, I know of children that have in the blink of an eye wandered out of their house or even their school only to end in tragedy ... Project Lifesaver is a great program and free for people who have had problems with their child wandering out or even adults with dementia. You can find info it on the web. |
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Subject: RE: A Wish for Autism From: olddude Date: 23 Jan 10 - 11:00 AM No child should have to go through this, no family should go through this, I won't go on an on anymore ... it is sufficient to say that if I were given a choice, my life to end autism, I would gladly say, take me now God I am ready .. so much pain ... so many horror stories |
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Subject: RE: A Wish for Autism From: Wesley S Date: 23 Jan 10 - 12:09 PM "Children with autism should not be in mainstream schools." This would accomplish two things. First - the kids with autism won't have to mingle with "normal" kids. And "normal" kids don't have to mingle with autistic children. That's two different learning situations that would be eliminated. Then we can move on to building different schools for blacks and muslims. Maybe even build whole villages for autistic kids - on the edge of town so they can lead seperate lives. We just need to figure out if the kids in wheelchairs will stay there too. After all they are different and unique. "If you read my posts, instead of exploding over them...." I explode over your posts BECAUSE I read them. It's really pretty easy. |
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Subject: RE: A Wish for Autism From: Bonzo3legs Date: 23 Jan 10 - 01:50 PM There was a wonderful song written by Richard Thompson 30 years ago called Speechless Child, all about Autism. |
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Subject: RE: A Wish for Autism From: Lizzie Cornish 1 Date: 23 Jan 10 - 03:05 PM Wesley, those words are taken out of context, because you haven't included the reasons why I said that. I don't want an argument with you. I said what I said above because I really do think it's is severely damaging and so often terrifying for many autistic children to have to endure mainstream schools, for the reasons I stated above. I would LOVE to feel that children without autism understood children with it, but so often I'm afraid they don't. They haven't a clue. So, they are mean, cruel and bullying towards them. Hell, how can the children understand when the adults don't! And so often even teachers and carers haven't a clue! I know. It's why Ben ended up on the outside of his windowsill, age 10, wanting to end his life because he couldn't take the bullying any longer. I told Kimmy to take Ben out of school that same day. She did. He was at home with her for a while, but that was dangerous too, as he was still suffering the fallout of school and all the horrors he'd had to endure whilst there, so he was aggressive towards her. Sure, he lashed out, because he was bullied...and he lashed out bigtime at school, because his fear grew ever stronger, understandably. She did the rounds, went to every school in the area. None of them wanted to take him really. They all said they didn't have the staff or the funding or faclilities to cope...Meanwhile, she was left to cope entirely on her own, with a 10 year old child she was frightened of. Then, her father-in-law stepped forward and said he'd pay for Ben to go to a private school, one that only took children with severe dyslexia and autism. One of the few in this country. So, Kimmy started her 2 hour round trip, twice a day, to get him there, knowing how lucky she was to be able to do this, as Ben's grandfather is a wealthy vet. No way could she have afforded to do it herself. Within weeks the change in Ben was huge. The headmaster understood autism from the inside out...but he made no allowances for shitty behaviour and the children knew this, got to learn it fast. He expected loyalty and hard work from them, and gave it back ten fold, through his staff and his teaching regime. Yes, Ben still acted up now and then, but he got into trouble for it bigtime. He received far more praise than discipline though, and eventually the praising has won. Now, at 16, he is able to come and stay with my young lad, down here, on his own, as I mentioned above, and he was a joy to have around, where once he was a nightmare. He has had no bullying to endure because all the children are on the circle so they don't make fun of each other, or treat each other cruelly. They don't feel 'different', they just 'go to school' In an ideal world it would be wonderful if mainstream school suited all, but it doesn't and it never will. Some parents need to recognise that wanting their children to go to 'ordinary' school is actually only the best for the parents themselves, not for the children, because they want to feel their children are *able* to go to ordinary school, thus making them like everyone else. Maybe you missed this video earlier, but it shows what happens to so many autistic children in mainstream school. It was made by the National Autistic Society themselves, so it ain't just me making it up or not understanding the situation, and you can actually listen to some young autistic people themselves telling their own experiences...Heartbreaking and anger making. 'Think Differently' Given a choice, I bet they'd have wanted a very different young life. Hardly surprising they're often kicking and lashing out all over the place, or curled up in silent misery, when they are being constantly made to endure even more fear and pain, by people who haven't really got a clue what is happening to them or how it is making them feel, how they even feel in the first place. There are not enough schools in this country, or the US either I'd imagine, such as the one Ben goes to. They should be state funded, free and available to all autistic children and their parents. I do not understand why, when this is now something that affects SO many families that both the US and UK Governments are pretending it's not happening. They should be falling over themselves to build schools, train people, get the message into mainstream schools, teach ALL children and ALL adults as much as they can, as fast as they can. They should also be doing mega amounts of research into the cause of autism and the reasons why it is so hugely on the increase. And every parent of every autistic child should be given absolute support in every way possible, both emotional and financial, because the cost to the country, and the families, of broken marriages is far, far higher than they would have to pay out to help people in the first place. |
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Subject: RE: A Wish for Autism From: Lizzie Cornish 1 Date: 23 Jan 10 - 03:11 PM And the other side of the coin is this.... My friend's daughter was thrown against a cupboard by a young lad in her class. He was on the autism circle. He put his hands round her neck and was trying to strangle her. Luckily, the other kids managed to help her break free and the young lad resorted to pulling the cupboard door off it's hinges instead. They kept away from him...and no, I've no idea what started his anger off...but being surrounded by faces you can't read, being frightened all the time must be absolute hell. The teacher held the rest of the class back at the end of the day, after the attack, telling them how they had to be sure to include this young lad, as it wasn't his fault. No, it wasn't his fault, but what of the young girl who was terrified witless? What of her friends who saw it happen? No thought was given to them...and so the anger and resentment towards autistic children grows... If that child had been brought up in a school where he was understood, where there were very small classes, and all the children were on the same circle then he may never have had to scream, kick, tear, destroy, because he may never have had to face such fearful situations on a daily basis for YEARS! Sheesh, what a terrible thing to do to any person, make them endure that feeling, endlessly. Long and short is that he'd be far better off on a one to one basis, feeling safe with a small amount of people, having no pressure put on him because he IS surrounded by people who understand him completely and who go out of their way to help him whilst gently starting to include him into wider society bit by bit. What makes me so angry is that this terrible fear is there from the start and then...the so-called 'Intelligent People' go and make it 100 times worse because they've not a clue what it's like to feel so frightened that you simply want to curl up into a ball, put a blanket over your head and hide from the world.... And whilst I know that gently educating children to accpet this is not the way forward, I also know that throwing them into factory farm schools, which are already destroying many 'ordinary' children who cannot cope with the desensitivity, is the WORST thing you can do to someone whose life is dominated by fear. |
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Subject: RE: A Wish for Autism From: Lizzie Cornish 1 Date: 23 Jan 10 - 05:17 PM Just found this video too, which again, is very inspirational: Dr. Temple Grandin's Story |
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Subject: RE: A Wish for Autism From: Bonzo3legs Date: 23 Jan 10 - 06:41 PM Let's home that Cameron will change things for the better. |
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