BS: Bye for a while

Subject: BS: Bye for a while
From: GUEST,Jon
Date: 29 Nov 10 - 08:41 AM

Yet another from me... this time not acrimonious.

I go into hospital tommorrow for a detox and programme that takes me to Dec21. How I wish folkinfo had not got hacked fatherer had not ranted and raved at me after last detox when I was still vulnerable but that is life. I've got to handle it better...

Subject: RE: BS: Bye for a while
From: Jack Campin
Date: 29 Nov 10 - 08:46 AM

Good luck then, and see you back on Mudcat around Xmas.

I don't recall you being acrimonious, so don't worry about that.

Subject: RE: BS: Bye for a while
From: GUEST,Jon
Date: 29 Nov 10 - 08:49 AM

I had public fall outs with Max I now regret - it should have been private, Jack...

Thanks for the good wishes

Subject: RE: BS: Bye for a while
From: Lizzie Cornish 1
Date: 29 Nov 10 - 08:51 AM

Take good care of yourself, Jon.   And don't let your father rant at you any more. Rant back, he'll soon stop.

Subject: RE: BS: Bye for a while
From: jacqui.c
Date: 29 Nov 10 - 08:53 AM

It's good that you can recognise a problem and then deal with it. Good luck to you, hope all goes well.

Subject: RE: BS: Bye for a while
From: GUEST,Jon
Date: 29 Nov 10 - 08:55 AM

I'm far too good at that Lizzie. Unfortunately before I tried to restore a life from being a teenager, I had become quite good at mental cruelty. I'm also even now able to batter a man physically who had a serious stroke but these are not resolutions...

Subject: RE: BS: Bye for a while
From: GUEST,cs
Date: 29 Nov 10 - 08:55 AM

You're going to have to be pretty strong willed after stepping out of detox straight into christmas - I hope you've discussed the pressures of the xmas season with someone, and how best to stay dry. If you have a problematic relationship with your father, it might be wise to consider avoiding possible 'family scenes' that xmas can be a touch paper for too.. Anyway, good luck with it.

Subject: RE: BS: Bye for a while
From: GUEST,Jon
Date: 29 Nov 10 - 09:02 AM

I don;t really have that problem cs.

Drink is a coping mechanism to me and the real bad times come with real life events and then getting into a grr mood. That is when things explode. While maybe I should not, a quiet single pint with a fiend does not push this trigger.

Subject: RE: BS: Bye for a while
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 29 Nov 10 - 09:04 AM

You CAN do it Jon. Keep the faith.

Subject: RE: BS: Bye for a while
From: GUEST,Jon
Date: 29 Nov 10 - 09:06 AM

That is drink these days. I'm not claiming I was not reckless with it once. But I've wanted out of that for years and would not enjoy "going out on the piss" with someone.

Subject: RE: BS: Bye for a while
From: GUEST,Jon
Date: 29 Nov 10 - 09:07 AM

Cheers John!

Subject: RE: BS: Bye for a while
From: Rumncoke
Date: 29 Nov 10 - 09:16 AM

Dec 21st is such an auspicious day, the year will have turned and the sun will begin to extend the days once more.

Is there some way you can find to ease back into things again?

Every day you live free makes it more your normal way of life.

Anne

Subject: RE: BS: Bye for a while
From: GUEST,Jon
Date: 29 Nov 10 - 09:17 AM

In one sense, I have a lot in common with mum:

If something blows up on her, her "demons" say eat, eat, eat. so she will put on a stone in eating chocolate, etc.

In the same situation my own (however you want to read the term) scream drink, drink, drink....

Subject: RE: BS: Bye for a while
From: akenaton
Date: 29 Nov 10 - 09:54 AM

Good Luck Jon, by your posts it seems that you are able to understand your problems......many are not...so you're half way home.

Try not to be too hard on your father, as his ranting is almost certainly a symptom of his concern for you.

I have some experience of this in my own family and your dad probably loves you more than life itself....he will be frightened and frustrated, but he will always be the best friend you've got when things get bad......All the best Ake

Subject: RE: BS: Bye for a while
From: Jean(eanjay)
Date: 29 Nov 10 - 09:59 AM

Good luck with the detox.

Subject: RE: BS: Bye for a while
From: SINSULL
Date: 29 Nov 10 - 10:05 AM

My thoughts and prayers are with you, Jon.
Mary

Subject: RE: BS: Bye for a while
From: GUEST,Jon
Date: 29 Nov 10 - 10:08 AM

Cheers aks much I can agree with there but father's rants were over fear over his forthcoming hernia operation, One side of me understands his fears only too well but another says why do it to me while I was still vulnerable?

Of course at the end of the day forgiveness and understanding is the answer as is is not reacting in ways I do.

These are amongst reasons why these days I describe myself as failed Christian. I'm not perfection by any means...

Subject: RE: BS: Bye for a while
From: saulgoldie
Date: 29 Nov 10 - 10:10 AM

Jon, all of my best wishes to you in your struggles. I doubt if any other 'Catters would argue with me that you have our support and love. Let us know of your progress. Come back soon!

Regards,
Saul

Subject: RE: BS: Bye for a while
From: GUEST,Alan Whittle
Date: 29 Nov 10 - 10:15 AM

Best of luck Jon. theres been plenty of times when I've drunk unwisely. Thinking that at some point you'll drink a couple with an old mate and turn on the technicolour for an evening....I'm afraid that's the illness. I recall Brigit Neilson saying just that - and I thought: how wise, she's been there!

know your enemy.

Subject: RE: BS: Bye for a while
From: GUEST,Jon
Date: 29 Nov 10 - 10:24 AM

Cheers all. Saul MC (where I was once a Joe Clone) and perhaps the Internet at large have been odd plaves for me but I'd still bet you Joe, Jeri. Kat of mods and Sinsull amongst others still love me... It ia another of life's tangles that...

Subject: RE: BS: Bye for a while
From: Jeri
Date: 29 Nov 10 - 10:28 AM

You're traveling a path. Every once in a while, you get lost. The road signs say the same: "drink ahead" and you veer off the road again and again. Eventually, though, you find your way back to the main path and walk on.

As long as you're still walking, you can't say you've failed.

Those by-ways are a problem, but everybody has something that distracts them from the main. As long as you keep on trying, you have won at least one battle. Look forward to the next success, not back at the last failure.

I wish strength and wisdom for you.

Subject: RE: BS: Bye for a while
From: GUEST,Jon
Date: 29 Nov 10 - 10:38 AM

Well that's one (Jeri) who still loves (in friendship) mm!

Subject: RE: BS: Bye for a while
From: Sorcha
Date: 29 Nov 10 - 10:49 AM

I still love you, my brother, and Mum too!

Subject: RE: BS: Bye for a while
From: theleveller
Date: 29 Nov 10 - 10:50 AM

Best of luck, Jon. See you back here soon.

Subject: RE: BS: Bye for a while
From: catspaw49
Date: 29 Nov 10 - 11:13 AM

You sure as hell have all my best thoughts for success, in any way you want to define it.........I wish you all the best to come out the other side even beyond any expectation.

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Bye for a while
From: Bonnie Shaljean
Date: 29 Nov 10 - 11:14 AM

Only for awhile now, y'hear? See you around Solstice time, when it starts to get lighter. In every sense.

Take good care of yourself, and know that you have a lot of friends on here who are looking forward to welcoming you back.

Love, Bonnie xxx

Subject: RE: BS: Bye for a while
From: gnu
Date: 29 Nov 10 - 11:35 AM

Good luck.

Subject: RE: BS: Bye for a while
From: Bobert
Date: 29 Nov 10 - 11:52 AM

And remember the old AA saying, "One day at a time"...

Hang in there... You'll be fine...

B~

Subject: RE: BS: Bye for a while
From: Mrrzy
Date: 29 Nov 10 - 11:57 AM

Good luck, Jon, hang in there! I admire your efforts. Let us know when you get back, OK?

Subject: RE: BS: Bye for a while
From: GUEST,Jon
Date: 29 Nov 10 - 12:36 PM

Have this I posted elsewhere today as a thanks from me, On of my rare attempts of recording myself and on guitar which I don't really play...

Subject: RE: BS: Bye for a while
From: ClaireBear
Date: 29 Nov 10 - 01:20 PM

I wish you perseverence and strength with your recovery, Jon. You will be in my thoughts and prayers.

Subject: RE: BS: Bye for a while
From: Ebbie
Date: 29 Nov 10 - 01:21 PM

I enjoyed that, Jon. I listened to it three times. Nice job.

And the best of luck to you. I'd like to add that it is not pity I feel for you -because the demons you fight are those that were we not lucky, we all could meet. Rather, your ongoing battle makes my heart ache- you voice so well that very battle.

Take your time- but hurry back. Things do get better.

Subject: RE: BS: Bye for a while
From: open mike
Date: 29 Nov 10 - 01:33 PM

i applaude your bravery and honesty..
hang in there....trite but true..
today is the first day of the rest of your life...
make good choices!

you can't change the past but you can decide the future!!

learn to enjoy juice, tea and other healthy bevereges!

Subject: RE: BS: Bye for a while
From: katlaughing
Date: 29 Nov 10 - 01:41 PM

Jon, I know Night Owl would join in me in saying you are in our hearts and thoughts and yes, we both do love you AND wish you the very best outcome.

My son has had problems for years which really intensified over the past year going through similar circumstances, on again, off again, left to sink or swim and somehow he keeps coming up swimming. Knowing of and articulating the trouble is at least half the battle. Jeri put it in a good way as she always does. Watch for those OTHER road signs and know that we are all sending you our best. IMO, as long as a person is trying they are not a failure.

Please check in when you are able and feel up to it.

luvyakat

Subject: RE: BS: Bye for a while
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 29 Nov 10 - 01:45 PM

Jon

Echoing the good wishes and wise words offered here. Adding that perhaps you should not think of yourself as a failed Christian.

Instead think of yourself as a human on a new journey and full of potential for success. That success being coping with the stresses that the journey brings without doing harm to yourself or to others.

BTW... loved the audio link.. More please. :~)

Tam

Subject: RE: BS: Bye for a while
From: Ernest
Date: 29 Nov 10 - 01:47 PM

All the best Jon!

Ernest

Subject: RE: BS: Bye for a while
From: GUEST,Jon
Date: 29 Nov 10 - 02:01 PM

Didn't know of your son, kat.

As for me, assuming I get put back together again physically, music will come back to me - hands that can play INO are a gift, etc.

There will remain something that while it may be argued against, spiritual rather than mental I need to sort though and without that, I fear that at some point I'll go round in the same circles again.

Still I'll try whatever avenues this place opens for me...

Subject: RE: BS: Bye for a while
From: GUEST,Jon
Date: 29 Nov 10 - 02:11 PM

VT, a tune written by me followed by the silver soire it was midi se
sequenced Rollr Coaster

I can be quite passable in sessions on a good day but fall apart when recoding myself.

Subject: RE: BS: Bye for a while
From: GUEST,Jon
Date: 29 Nov 10 - 02:15 PM

silver spire I meant.

Subject: RE: BS: Bye for a while
From: frogprince
Date: 29 Nov 10 - 02:17 PM

Jon, it's long been obvious from your contributions here that you're a man with a good heart. I'll just join with the others here in wishing the best for you.
                        Dean, in Michigan.

Subject: RE: BS: Bye for a while
From: ragdall
Date: 29 Nov 10 - 02:23 PM

Jon,
I've always enjoyed the times we've chatted and missed you when you seemed to disappear. It's been good to see you posting again on Mudcat. I wish you great success in the program and look forward to your return here.

rags

Subject: RE: BS: Bye for a while
From: GUEST,Jon
Date: 29 Nov 10 - 02:47 PM

And another musical side to me VT

Subject: RE: BS: Bye for a while
From: katlaughing
Date: 29 Nov 10 - 03:26 PM

More, more!:-) That's a gentle request and smile, Jon. I shall play both links for Night Owl when next we speak. We both wish we had recordings of the old HearMe sessions. Sez he can't really play, sez he! You've got more talent and ability in your little finger than most, but I don't want to pressure nor cause embarrassment; just say thanks for sharing and if you ever record Donkey Riding, Night Owl would be most pleased.

My son is forty years old and should not drink, ever. He has lost a lot because of it and the emotional breakdown it has caused: two homes, good jobs, a partner and her young son. He's burnt a lot of bridges, but somehow, once again, has got himself back on track, started a new job, today, after one year of unemployment. Buddhism has helped him some and AA though he is not very fond of the latter. I

I, too, think the 21st is a good and symbolic day for you to start your treatment, a sort of Turning towards the Light.

All the best to you and your folks, Jon,

kat

Subject: RE: BS: Bye for a while
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 29 Nov 10 - 03:34 PM

oh very good stuff.. voice suits the song and vice versa

Subject: RE: BS: Bye for a while
From: fat B****rd
Date: 29 Nov 10 - 03:35 PM

All the very best from Charlie in Dunfermline, Jon.

Subject: RE: BS: Bye for a while
From: GUEST,cd
Date: 29 Nov 10 - 03:38 PM

"I don;t really have that problem cs.
Drink is a coping mechanism to me and the real bad times come with real life events"

Hi Jon, yeah I know that pattern - stress can inspire episodes of intense binging for people who have that 'switch'. Very similar impulses for people with with bullimia and gambling compulsive behaviours.

As said, if you have family relationships where there are old wounds waiting to flare up, why not rent a chalet on the coast for a few days and disappear with some good books and a camera until the season of family bullshit is over?

Subject: RE: BS: Bye for a while
From: Ed T
Date: 29 Nov 10 - 03:41 PM

A "tip of the old Sou' wester" to you and hope we will be hearing from you soon.

Subject: RE: BS: Bye for a while
From: GUEST,Jon
Date: 29 Nov 10 - 04:03 PM

Kat. if I get out of this round I will try to do it.

Where you ever in Quebec DR. DR.
Stowing timber on a deck...
I'd forgotten that one!

---
Thanks to the other s who have wished me well

Subject: RE: BS: Bye for a while
From: wysiwyg
Date: 29 Nov 10 - 04:05 PM

Hey Jon, all the best. Go for it!

~Susan & Greg

Subject: RE: BS: Bye for a while
From: GUEST,Jon
Date: 29 Nov 10 - 04:06 PM

cd I am looking for a way out of here but as yet am unsure how.