SC: Who Stole My Penile Spines?

Subject: SC: Who Stole My Penile Spines?
From: Jack Campin
Date: 09 Mar 11 - 07:22 PM

One bit of biology I'm *sure* the fundies don't want taught in schools:

Nature via the BBC: evolutionary loss of human penile spines

Somebody feel like writing a lament for them?

Subject: RE: SC: Who Stole My Penile Spines?
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 09 Mar 11 - 07:52 PM

Jack, do you think this could be why we call it a "prick?"

Subject: RE: SC: Who Stole My Penile Spines?
From: Smokey.
Date: 09 Mar 11 - 07:53 PM

..Entitled "Trampolining isn't what it Used to be"

Subject: RE: SC: Who Stole My Penile Spines?
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 09 Mar 11 - 08:08 PM

It ain't right to be talkin' publicly about stuff like this. Some things should be kept behind closed doors. What good is romance if ya take away all the mystery?

- Chongo

Subject: RE: SC: Who Stole My Penile Spines?
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 09 Mar 11 - 08:18 PM

It doesn't matter if the door isn't closed as long as the beast is asleep. You should know that. Even if the beast turns out to be a porcupine.

Subject: RE: SC: Who Stole My Penile Spines?
From: wysiwyg
Date: 09 Mar 11 - 08:26 PM

Whole new meaning to call someone "you spineless ninny" then...

~S~

Subject: RE: SC: Who Stole My Penile Spines?
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 09 Mar 11 - 08:30 PM

...and to when the missus says, "I don't know what it is, but you're really needling me tonight..."

Subject: RE: SC: Who Stole My Penile Spines?
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 09 Mar 11 - 08:30 PM

I am talkin' about privacy and old-fashioned romance here as opposed to draggin' everything out into public discussion and lookin' at it under a friggin' microscope, Steve. Porcupines got nothin' to do with it. It's disgustin' how everyone talks about sex these days like they was talkin' about baseball scores or somethin'. People nowadays just ain't got no class no more. You won't catch me revealin' no intimate details. If I'd been Bill Clinton and they'd started askin' me all them intimate questions about what happened with Monica, I'd have just told 'em all, "Go to hell, cos it's none of yer damn business!" And I'd have walked right outta the room if they persisted.

- Chongo

Subject: RE: SC: Who Stole My Penile Spines?
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 09 Mar 11 - 08:33 PM

lookin' at it under a friggin' microscope...

Don't tempt me...

Subject: RE: SC: Who Stole My Penile Spines?
From: CapriUni
Date: 09 Mar 11 - 09:16 PM

Speaking as a woman, I say: "Good riddance!" Human pregnancy and childbirth are difficult enough without risking injury from the get-go (proably another reason we got rid of 'em).

Subject: RE: SC: Who Stole My Penile Spines?
From: Seamus Kennedy
Date: 09 Mar 11 - 09:18 PM

Wow..'penile spines' spelled backwards is 'penile spines'. Wow!

Subject: RE: SC: Who Stole My Penile Spines?
From: Bob the Postman
Date: 09 Mar 11 - 09:32 PM

What spines? I don't see any freakin' spines.

Subject: RE: SC: Who Stole My Penile Spines?
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 09 Mar 11 - 10:10 PM

I have seen some outrageous specist crap in my time, Bob, but that site is the friggin' final limit! When I go to Ireland next, I am gonna find the jerk responsible for it and kick his ass!

- Chongo

Subject: RE: SC: Who Stole My Penile Spines?
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Mar 11 - 10:38 PM

The Universities at Standford, Pennsylvania and Dartmouth can't all be wrong. Chongo is sticky pricky.

Subject: RE: SC: Who Stole My Penile Spines?
From: Bob the Postman
Date: 09 Mar 11 - 10:47 PM

Oh, you mean those spines.

Subject: RE: SC: Who Stole My Penile Spines?
From: Jeri
Date: 09 Mar 11 - 10:51 PM

Seamus, 'penile spines' spelled backwards is 'senips elinep'. Or if you REALLY want to spell it backwards, it's b.a.c.k.w.a.r.d.s., but the pronunciations all buggered.

Hey, at least Chongo can call it a "boner" and really mean it.

Subject: RE: SC: Who Stole My Penile Spines?
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Mar 11 - 10:59 PM

Originally the penile spines acted with the foreskin as a sort of umbrella, the spines being the umbrella ribs and...well, you get the idea. This provided not only protection from the rain, but also from the sun in the hot African veldt. Humans gave up the spines when then realized that you couldn't have both reproduction and protection from the weather, finding that the shade of a tree could serve the same purpose. This led to more and better thinking abilities. Chimpanzees, on the other hand, never did figure it out and that's why such as Chongo are evolutionary dead-ends, stuck (if you'll pardon the expression) in the past with no hope of progressing into the future. Thus, we humans use them as test subjects instead of the other way around.

Subject: RE: SC: Who Stole My Penile Spines?
From: Don Firth
Date: 09 Mar 11 - 11:08 PM

Does this have anything to do with the song, "You Always Hurt the One You Love?"

Don Firth

Subject: RE: SC: Who Stole My Penile Spines?
From: GUEST,Alan Whittle
Date: 09 Mar 11 - 11:09 PM

How oft i do repine
For my lovely penile spines
They were stiff and spry - like bristles on a badger
But one day i gave a cough
and ...ah me! They all dropped off
And alas! A big knotty one impaled my poor old nadgers.

Life was quite sublime
For a boy with penile spines
twas very heaven to be young, I felt elated
But my spikey dick got caught
As I retrieved it from my shorts
And by the early morning wee, was I saturated.

Subject: RE: SC: Who Stole My Penile Spines?
From: GUEST,MR Penile Spines TO YOU!
Date: 09 Mar 11 - 11:12 PM

Actually, if you want to spell it backwards it's T I

Bloodnok

Subject: RE: SC: Who Stole My Penile Spines?
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 10 Mar 11 - 04:01 AM

I have a theory that penile spines were selected against as teenage masturbation became more popular, in about 1964 I estimate. Oddly, sales of the right-handed one of the pairs of those thick gardening gloves declined at the same time.

Subject: RE: SC: Who Stole My Penile Spines?
From: GUEST,Patsy
Date: 10 Mar 11 - 08:47 AM

Cats, I kid you not Tom cats still have them, more barbs than spines and it is not a particularly pleasant experience for the queens (cats fem) so I've read.

Subject: RE: SC: Who Stole My Penile Spines?
From: Monique
Date: 10 Mar 11 - 08:52 AM

Indeed, it's why here they're said to meow "M'a fach mau" pronounced "mahfahmaow" (i.e. he hurt me) when he's done with it.

Subject: RE: SC: Who Stole My Penile Spines?
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 10 Mar 11 - 08:54 AM

I just knew this thread would degenerate into barbed remarks.

Subject: RE: SC: Who Stole My Penile Spines?
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Mar 11 - 10:04 AM

Oh fer...straighten up and stiffen your spine, lad!

Subject: RE: SC: Who Stole My Penile Spines?
From: Bob the Postman
Date: 10 Mar 11 - 10:06 AM

Size counts.

Subject: RE: SC: Who Stole My Penile Spines?
From: GUEST
Date: 10 Mar 11 - 12:34 PM

All the world is sad and wan
And now my penile spines have gone.
How oft I'd stroke those spines for practice
To watch them rise up like a cactus.
Where are the spines of yesteryear?
Without them, I feel proper queer.

Subject: RE: SC: Who Stole My Penile Spines?
From: gnu
Date: 10 Mar 11 - 03:51 PM

Rap... "This provided not only protection from the rain, but also from the sun in the hot African veldt."

I suppose... if you were walkin around with yer dick hangin out. I suggest that humans had the (big) brains to cover up. Perhaps the male human intelligence leap was brought on by cold rain and sunburn.

Or, perhaps by females saying "Put somethin over that. It's disgusting... lazin around watchin the game with yer dick hangin out you lazy bastard."

Subject: RE: SC: Who Stole My Penile Spines?
From: Jack Campin
Date: 10 Mar 11 - 06:27 PM

This could have been a major step in the evolution of language.

With nowhere to spike spare wads of chewing gum, men had to find something else to do with their mouths so they learned to talk.

Subject: RE: SC: Who Stole My Penile Spines?
From: Smokey.
Date: 10 Mar 11 - 07:32 PM

And thus became smooth cunning linguists.

Subject: RE: SC: Who Stole My Penile Spines?
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 11 Mar 11 - 02:30 PM

The disappearance of barbs on human penises coincided with the discovery of fellatio. The barbs simply felt they'd be more at home on women's tongues than on men's schlongs, so they moved house in the middle of a blowjob.

Subject: RE: SC: Who Stole My Penile Spines?
From: GUEST,Alan Whittle
Date: 12 Mar 11 - 05:54 AM

On the altar of the chapel
I laid my dick - shaped like a pineapple
And prayed to God, relieve me of these spikes
A voice from heaven then did say
put that bloody thing away
You're not a Christian, piss off mate - on your bike!

Subject: RE: SC: Who Stole My Penile Spines?
From: Mrrzy
Date: 12 Mar 11 - 06:21 PM

I remember stickly-prickly from the just-so stories, he and slow-and-solid turned into the armadillos...

Or would that be armadildos?


?or some other body partodildos?