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BS: It's a small world but...
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Subject: RE: BS: It's a small world but... From: Steve Shaw Date: 15 Mar 11 - 07:41 AM Misprint in the Manchester Evening News Football Pink, late '50s: "...Then Charlton shit hard into the back of the net..." |
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Subject: RE: BS: It's a smalll world but... From: MGM·Lion Date: 15 Mar 11 - 01:46 AM Who else is puzzled by football [soccer] tv commentators' frequent statement that "His shot is narrowly wide"? ~Michael~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: It's a smalll world but... From: Becca72 Date: 14 Mar 11 - 12:54 PM My father use to say to me " if you fall and break both your legs, don't come running to me" |
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Subject: RE: BS: It's a smalll world but... From: GUEST,Patsy Date: 14 Mar 11 - 09:00 AM If the wind changes your face will stay like that. He has the face that only a mother could love. |
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Subject: RE: BS: It's a smalll world but... From: gnu Date: 13 Mar 11 - 10:27 PM If yer gettin run outta town, stay in front so's it looks like yer leadin the parade. |
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Subject: RE: BS: It's a smalll world but... From: frogprince Date: 13 Mar 11 - 10:06 PM Once you've seen a couple of hundred ladies without clothes on... there are still millions left to go. |
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Subject: RE: BS: It's a smalll world but... From: Joe_F Date: 13 Mar 11 - 08:02 PM The leader follows in front. |
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Subject: RE: BS: It's a smalll world but... From: banjoman Date: 13 Mar 11 - 01:51 PM I always ask Mrs banjoman to "Follow close in front" because she has a habit of dawdling in shops to look at things we have no intention of buying. Or, as my Mum used to say to anybody who complained they had nothing to do -" I'll get you some steel wool and you can knit yourself a kettle" |
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Subject: RE: BS: It's a smalll world but... From: Steve Shaw Date: 12 Mar 11 - 08:15 PM Teacher: "How dare you open your mouth when you're talking to me, boy!" |
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Subject: RE: BS: It's a smalll world but... From: VirginiaTam Date: 12 Mar 11 - 01:13 PM my Mamma's favourite saying when something is silly is "That's just bass ackwards!" |
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Subject: RE: BS: It's a smalll world but... From: Steve Shaw Date: 12 Mar 11 - 06:56 AM Boy trapped in refrigerator eats own foot |
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Subject: RE: BS: It's a smalll world but... From: Little Hawk Date: 12 Mar 11 - 01:54 AM That's true. But that doesn't mean you can't say "no". |
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Subject: RE: BS: It's a smalll world but... From: catspaw49 Date: 12 Mar 11 - 01:29 AM Related to one of Bill's above: Do more than is expected of you and soon more will be expected of you Spaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: It's a smalll world but... From: J-boy Date: 11 Mar 11 - 11:47 PM "If you come to a fork in the road,take it."-Yogi Berra. |
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Subject: RE: BS: It's a smalll world but... From: Bill D Date: 11 Mar 11 - 10:52 PM The hurrier I go, the behinder I get. "Don't do too good of a job, folks will begin to expect it." < Talkin' John, mediocre carpenter "From here on up the hills don't get any higher... but the valleys get deeper & deeper." "Don't look back...somthin' may be gainin' on you." Satchel Paige |
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Subject: RE: BS: It's a smalll world but... From: Bobert Date: 11 Mar 11 - 09:29 PM Danged!!! |
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Subject: RE: BS: It's a smalll world but... From: Joe_F Date: 11 Mar 11 - 09:24 PM If wishes were horses, there'd be an easy explanation for all this horseshit. It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle if it is lightly greased. Two wrongs don't make a right, but three lefts do. A little nonsense, now and then, Is relished by the best of men, But more important, last and first, A lot is relished by the worst. All power tends to corrupt; the power conferred by love is an exception only by courtesy. We can learn a lot about ourselves by studying the lower animals, especially those of our own species. Take it easy, but take it. Death before dishonor? Too late, but never mind. Investing is not the same as gambling, and downtown is not the same as uptown. None of us is getting any younger, and few of us are getting any soberer. Ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free, but first it shall piss you off beyond belief. If it moves, fondle it, except porcupines, ball lightning, and policemen. It is a sin to think evil of others, but not always a mistake. Whatever is worth doing is worth doing badly. This is the best of all possible worlds, and everything in it is a necessary evil. Male and female created He them, far beyond our poor power to add or detract. Dress for success: Wear a white penis. I wish I had never been born -- but who has such luck? Not one in ten thousand. A fatal error! I should live so long! No human is truly alien, that is, no alien is truly human. Eat, drink, and be merry, and live to regret it. If you're not part of the problem, you're part of the precipitate. We are here on earth to do good to others. What the others are here for, I don't know. Live each day as if it were your last. Someday you'll be right. If you can keep your head while all about you are losing theirs, you don't appreciate the gravity of the situation. Whom the gods wish to destroy they first call promising. The race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, but that's the way to bet. Let no-one deceive you -- except me, of course. It could have been worse -- it could have been me. When confused, read the manual, which will give you a good excuse. Don't worry about what people think of you; they don't do it much. One can get used to anything, but comfort is easiest. Sex is filthy. Save it for someone you love. Never put off till tomorrow what you can put off till the day after tomorrow. Live each day as if you might not die tomorrow. Never discuss religion or politics while sober. It takes a village to have an idiot. If you have nothing good to say about a person, come, sit by me. We don't have much time. We'll have to move slowly. |
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Subject: RE: BS: It's a smalll world but... From: Steve Shaw Date: 11 Mar 11 - 08:59 PM Half-remembered quote from, I think, Ian Anderson in Froots some years ago, in "I'll eat my hat if..." mode: "Well paint my privates with honey and bring on the dancing ants..." |
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Subject: RE: BS: It's a smalll world but... From: Steve Shaw Date: 11 Mar 11 - 08:56 PM Seen on back of car: Badly driven? Go to gofuckyourself.co.uk |
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Subject: RE: BS: It's a smalll world but... From: Bobert Date: 11 Mar 11 - 08:35 PM Lame, Donuel... B;~( |
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Subject: RE: BS: It's a smalll world but... From: Donuel Date: 11 Mar 11 - 08:32 PM All Obama's ships and all Obama's men could not put Japan and its nuke plants back together again. |
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Subject: RE: BS: It's a smalll world but... From: Bobert Date: 11 Mar 11 - 08:10 PM Yeah, Spawzer... If we could figure that one out then there would be one heck of alot less kids rollin' on the floors at the local Walmart... B;~) |
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Subject: RE: BS: It's a smalll world but... From: catspaw49 Date: 11 Mar 11 - 06:59 PM Go fuck yourself. A really fine wish if you think about it........... Spaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: It's a smalll world but... From: RangerSteve Date: 11 Mar 11 - 06:53 PM "If You're not part of the solution, you're part of the problem" I know nothing about curing cancer. I'm not a scientist or a doctor. If I tried to help, I'd just be in the way. So how does that make me part of the problem? You're either for us or against us. - How about being totally indifferent? A cluttered desk means a cluttered mind. - Someone said that to me in an office where I worked and I pointed out that her desk was empty. She didn't get it. Humor is wasted on a lot of people. |
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Subject: RE: BS: It's a smalll world but... From: Bobert Date: 11 Mar 11 - 06:33 PM Good 'uns, ya'lls... Not sure where I heard this one but... ...people don't change, they get more so... B~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: It's a smalll world but... From: Little Hawk Date: 11 Mar 11 - 04:36 PM "I could care less." No! You couldn't care less! That is the whole point you are trying to make, dumbass! If you could care less, it would mean you still care. "I literally died when I heard that." No, you didn't. You wouldn't be standing here telling me about it if you had. "At this point in time..." (now) (a "point" in time is already over by the time the words are uttered, assuming anyone can even measure something as infinitesimally brief as a "point in time") "Let's run it up the flagpole and see if it salutes." Yeah, right. ;-) "Who dropped the ball?" What fucking ball? Are we playing football here? I don't think so. "Prioritize?" "Departmentalize?" "Systematize?" Prioritize THIS, sucker! (Smack!) |
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Subject: RE: BS: It's a smalll world but... From: GUEST,Mrrzy Date: 11 Mar 11 - 04:35 PM Holding our thumbs for crossing our fingers, anybody hear that before, I heard on a BBC report about something... |
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Subject: RE: BS: It's a smalll world but... From: VirginiaTam Date: 11 Mar 11 - 04:21 PM just read this on a UK expats forum (I was looking up IRS tax on UK lump sum pension payouts) some guy signed his post on that forum with "If you wear that suit again, I'll paint your balls the colour of hazelnuts and tell a bag full of squirrels winter is coming." |
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Subject: RE: BS: It's a smalll world but... From: Steve Shaw Date: 11 Mar 11 - 10:57 AM Change your underwear, what if you were in an accident!! Undies worn twaice Are not quaite naice |
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Subject: RE: BS: It's a smalll world but... From: GUEST,leeneia Date: 11 Mar 11 - 09:50 AM You've probably heard this little verse: As I was walking on the stair I met a man who wasn't there. He wasn't there again today. Oh, how I wish he'd go away! When the phone rings but there's only a dial tone, I say, "It was the man who wasn't there." |
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Subject: RE: BS: It's a smalll world but... From: Rapparee Date: 11 Mar 11 - 09:43 AM "It's colder'n Hell outside." Well, yeah. It religions are correct it's colder'n Hell at the center of a supernova. |
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Subject: RE: BS: It's a smalll world but... From: olddude Date: 11 Mar 11 - 09:39 AM Change your underwear, what if you were in an accident!! my answer always was .. Mom, If I were in an accident, even a clean pair of underwear would no longer be clean .. boy I would get dish duty for that comment ... |
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Subject: RE: BS: It's a smalll world but... From: Steve Shaw Date: 11 Mar 11 - 09:37 AM Well I'll go to t'foot of our stair. |
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Subject: RE: BS: It's a smalll world but... From: Will Fly Date: 11 Mar 11 - 09:36 AM I was standing there like cheese at fourpence. |
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Subject: RE: BS: It's a smalll world but... From: alanabit Date: 11 Mar 11 - 08:01 AM Why do they call it the "Missionary position" when most of the missionaries got eaten? |
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Subject: RE: BS: It's a smalll world but... From: A Wandering Minstrel Date: 11 Mar 11 - 07:56 AM All the worlds mad save me and thee, and even thee art a little queer |
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Subject: RE: BS: It's a smalll world but... From: Steve Shaw Date: 11 Mar 11 - 07:50 AM From George Galloway: Tony Blair and Gordon Brown are just two cheeks of the same arse. |
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Subject: RE: BS: It's a smalll world but... From: GUEST,Patsy Date: 11 Mar 11 - 07:46 AM Okay. 'I've been so busy I almost met myself coming back.' |
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Subject: BS: It's a smalll world but... From: Bobert Date: 11 Mar 11 - 06:44 AM ... I'd hate to have to paint it!!! Okay, folks, this is a thread for purely silly sayings tht you've heard over the years so... ...have at it!!! B~ |
