BS: Steve Needs Help

Subject: BS: Steve Needs Help
From: SPB-Cooperator
Date: 20 Jun 11 - 03:57 PM

I have just come to an end of a period of intensive work over the last two months.

Over the last 40 or 41 days, I have had one day off (including weekends).

I have had to work an average over that time of more than 60 hours a week, in the last two weeks, it rose to 70-80, and in the last 48 houra, I have had to work about 40, on sunday alone 22 hours.

I have met my deadlines, keeping going on strong coffee and adrenaline and today I finished work at 5:30pm .

But.....

Now that I am no longer under pressure:

(1) I can't rest
(2) I have passing moments of exhaustion but not when I want to rest, e.g. while shopping.
(3) I have had 2 beers tonight hoping that they would act as a sedative, but they have just messed me up even more.

In the next week or two I know I will be back under pressure catching up with my normal work, and I can't take any time off (apart form the weekend when finally I can rest but my flat is in such a mess as a result of not having the time or energy to do any cleaning, etc....

so......


HHHHEEEELLLPPPPP......

Subject: RE: BS: Steve Needs Help
From: gnu
Date: 20 Jun 11 - 04:03 PM

2 beers? Isn't it obvious?

Subject: RE: BS: Steve Needs Help
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 20 Jun 11 - 04:13 PM

Don't talk to us. Talk to your boss. And drink more beer next night off.

Subject: RE: BS: Steve Needs Help
From: Jeri
Date: 20 Jun 11 - 04:32 PM

I find that when I turn the lights out and try to sleep and can't, if I turn the lights on and try to read a book, I conk out. The WORST thing is TRYING to go to sleep. Do something you enjoy that is relaxing. The important thing is to enjoy your time off and don't WORRY!

Cat naps are beneficial. You have a war-time mentality. People in combat situations often can't sleep through the night and have to take cat naps. Eventually, the war will be over and you can get back to a normal sleep cycle, but until then, sleep when, and for however long you can, and don't think you HAVE to get a full 8.

Subject: RE: BS: Steve Needs Help
From: gnu
Date: 20 Jun 11 - 04:43 PM

Sleep needs change with age too... as many of you know.

Main thing is... if you are overworked it's likely the case that you are underexcersized. Go for a walk in the fresh air after a few beers and the have some mores beers.... click.

Subject: RE: BS: Steve Needs Help
From: GUEST,mg
Date: 20 Jun 11 - 04:58 PM

HOpefully you will get some overtime or extra wages for all your work.

Why would you want to clean? There are good cleaning services out there, people who could catch up your laundry, etc. mg

Subject: RE: BS: Steve Needs Help
From: Charmion
Date: 20 Jun 11 - 05:54 PM

What Jeri said.

If you are any good at meditation, you might try that, too. Or say the rosary.

Subject: RE: BS: Steve Needs Help
From: michaelr
Date: 20 Jun 11 - 06:00 PM

If you are any good at medication, you might try that, too. Like some really dark, gooey hashish.

Subject: RE: BS: Steve Needs Help
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 20 Jun 11 - 07:04 PM

Perhaps you should point your employers at the Working Time Directive.

Subject: RE: BS: Steve Needs Help
From: Janie
Date: 20 Jun 11 - 07:34 PM

Your body and brain are all knocked out of kilter from that incredible physical and psychological marathon. Betting your brain and body are flooded with stress hormones and assorted neurotransmitters that went into overdrive to get you through it. There is not a simple on/off switch - more like a rheostat on a slow timer that is going to require you to take some down time and also to be patient and kind to yourself. Doesn't necessarily have to be "all the way down" time, and how you talk to yourself and how much that self-talk stimulates the body stress reactions or sooths will matter.

Try to stay in the present moment instead of jumping ahead to worry about what is coming up, or what "needs" done. Forget about "two weeks from now." Meditation can be helpful as can doing deep relaxation exercises.

Breathe

Then breathe some more.

Acceptance is about acknowledging the reality of right now without judging, then not clinging to it - letting it go, because the now of right now is no longer the now in one second.

Accept

Resistance to the reality of the moment, including judging the moment, jumping to the future or ruminating about what just transpired, creates or increases tension.

Regard yourself with loving kindness. Only you can know if you need to do some cleaning in order to have a physical space you can be in without "should" distraction. If you can afford it, mg's idea of paying some one is a good one. If you can't afford it, and can't keep your thoughts from straying to everything that "needs" done unless you do some tidying up and cleaning, then do some of that - but do it with pleasure, and only do what you need to do to be peaceful and manageably undistracted in your private space. Doesn't have to be perfect.

Let go of "shoulds."

Allow some recreation. Even if it is only for a couple of hours sometime over the next couple of weeks, do something that is deeply fun and satisfying to you and that takes your mind off of your concerns.

Stress kills if it goes on too long, or at least can lead to significant health problems - makes us very vulnerable. If you can't seem to settle yourself down some in a few days, see your doctor. A short-term sleep medication might be in order to allow your body restorative sleep.

Believe in your resilience.

This really is about healing.

Healing will come. Allow yourself to wait for it.

All the best,

Janie

Subject: RE: BS: Steve Needs Help
From: Donuel
Date: 20 Jun 11 - 09:16 PM

Normally I would say take some time off,
but what if Steve is in charge of keeping the largest nuclear stockpile from going critical and glitches are occuring every hour...

Subject: RE: BS: Steve Needs Help
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 20 Jun 11 - 11:15 PM

>>>Normally I would say take some time off,
but what if Steve is in charge of keeping the largest nuclear stockpile from going critical and glitches are occuring every hour.<<<

Then it is even more critical that he is not worked to the point of making bad decisions.

I'm serious. If it is that bad he needs to talk to his boss. Or if he is the boss, hire an assistant.

Subject: RE: BS: Steve Needs Help
From: katlaughing
Date: 21 Jun 11 - 12:00 AM

Janie, most excellent advice. Jeri, thanks for that. Helps explain what I was going through when so ill and stressed with too little night-time sleep.

Steve, my Rog often gets racked up at work that way, too. He finds a distraction on the internet via one or two websites which allow his mind to settle down and let go until the next day at work. A friend of mine would play endless hours of solitaire on her computer to keep from letting the stress take over her mind.

I hope things get on a more even keel for you. Employers really need to understand what they are asking of their people. It would be good if they all read "Hug Your People."

Take care,

kat

Subject: RE: BS: Steve Needs Help
From: Jeri
Date: 21 Jun 11 - 12:11 AM

Oh yeah - diphenhydramine, AKA "Benadryl". An anti-allergy medication with the side effect of making folks sleepy. Now, it's marketed as a sleep aid BECAUSE of that side effect. I take it sometimes, and have never had a side effect from it (not even one involving helping with allergies). It's very mild, it's cheap and non-addictive, and it works pretty well.

Subject: RE: BS: Steve Needs Help
From: Janie
Date: 21 Jun 11 - 12:39 AM

FWIW, unless one also needs the anti-inflamatory, save your liver and don't buy stuff like Tylanol PM simply as a sleep aid. Buy the "diphenhydramine, AKA "Benadryl" straight.

And don't hesitate to call your MD.

Subject: RE: BS: Steve Needs Help
From: SPB-Cooperator
Date: 21 Jun 11 - 02:55 AM

Thanks for all you advice,

I don't have an employer as such - I am a member of a 2 person, (in reality 1.1 person co-op)

The problem is usually I can very easily manager my workload between my clients, but over the last 6 weeks my work has massively increased as the local authority have commissioned applications for voluntary sector grants for the next three and half years.

In the last round (in 2005/6) I was only preparing what was only 5 budgets, this year it rose to 14. Three of this were for a consortium bid, so it was more complex as couldn't just write the budgets, the consortium members had to be continually consulted and it was like walking on a tightrope, and they were intent on defending their territories.

Also.....

Two of the organisation needed support i writing the bids as they did not have sufficiently skills staff.

All this could be manageable, but......

(1) The council were 4 days late making the applications available, but they kept to their original deadline - this meant that an opportunity to take a more relaxed look at the application over the first weekend was missed.

(2) There was a move away from 'equality-led' funding to more generative service specifications encompassing all equalities - e.g. organisations which give specialist advice to young adults with learning disabilities and their parents had to compete for the same pots of money for organisations that work with people with dementia and their carers - so, for example a national advice agency that provides lower threshold support with no local track record could tick more boxes than an established local charity that provides intensive support, so in theory - local charities lose out, and their clients have to make do with whatever support the national agencies are prepared to let them have. This means that everyone had to raise their game. The problem is many organisations were woefully prepared for this- not just the ones I was working with.

That also is manageable, but........

The commissioning officers were clueless about how to write a specification. They were too long. The service conditions were often contradictory. The in one spec, 17 outcomes had to be met - most of these were not even outcomes at all, but 'noble' aims, and at the other end administrative procedures.

But, with creative thinking that would be managable but.......

(3)The application form was appalling.

There was no discernible correlation between the spec and the form.
It was laid out - I can't say designed, as designed would imply that someone was actually thinking about what they were doing at the time - e.g. question 5b 'How these meet the grant criteria' NOT How these meet the grant criteria's outcomes. Half of the grant criteria is covered by other questions anyway, but .. the council wanted the answers duplicated.

The accompanying 'guidance notes' were a joke in themselves. Not providing guidance on how to best interpret the questions, but just repeating what was on the form.

The form was technically badly laid out. Some of the answer boxes were text boxes, some were tables, some were blank lines with or without a border round them. So, when one came to the end of a box, it was unpredictable what would happen next, and it was down to guess work how to best tidy the boxes. Also someone saw fit to centre-justify everything, including the stats boxes and the budget information. i could, and when I fully evaluate the process probably will go on forever describing the faults.

What stresses me most is that the commissioning officers are paid enormous salaries but are incapable of applying care and quality to their work. I have seen very small charitable trusts design technically better forms.

So...........


The outcome was my clients were stressed and panicking. I was feeling their stress, but 5 to 6 times so. I was constantly running round from client to client trying to give everyone a 'fair share' of my time. Over the last week I was regularly working late at night to fit everything in. I have a massive backlog of work to get to grips with.

I haven't even had time or energy to send out invoices.

My body have forgotten how to rest - it just sleeps when it has had enough.

and strangely - last night instead of feeling a sense of relief, I felt intense depression.

Subject: RE: BS: Steve Needs Help
From: GUEST,Patsy
Date: 21 Jun 11 - 03:11 AM

Perhaps all that coffee and beer is the problem too much stimulant. By the time it is bedtime you are probably still climbing the wall. In the evening try a soak in the tub, an animated movie nothing too taxing and a snack of milk and cookies. Eating as healthy as possible throughout the day is more beneficial than snacks of junk food to keep you going. It pays to focus on planning a long break away. All work and no play makes Jack/Jill a dull boy/girl.

Subject: RE: BS: Steve Needs Help
From: SPB-Cooperator
Date: 21 Jun 11 - 04:38 PM

Beginning to return to some sense of normality.

Enjoyed socialising tonight int pub, and I feel less exhausted - I let myself oversleep until 11am and I avoided kicking myself for it. A week ago oversleeping by one hour would have sent my stress levles through the roof.

A strange thing is I have found myself this evening and yesterday evening singing to myself (aloud), on the street, in the supermarket, etc.

Maybe I do need professional help, even if it is folksong and music hall.
Anyway, Hanka will be with me for 10 days in August, and I will take holiday then.

Subject: RE: BS: Steve Needs Help
From: katlaughing
Date: 21 Jun 11 - 05:41 PM

THAT sounds better!(Also reminds me why I didn't follow a former boss into his grant writing business! I hate that kind of stuff!:-)

I also use Benadryl to help sleep, but I be sure to buy the "allergy" pill without added dyes! (What an oxymoron, eh...allergy pill with dye!)

Another sleep aid I am going to try which was mentioned by another Mudcatter is a small jar with a sponge soaked in oil of marjoram. Open it and place by the bed at night for aromatherapy.

Keep taking those little bits...singing, sleeping in and I'll bet the rest your brain and body get will make it all go a bit smoother, too.

ATB,

kat

Subject: RE: BS: Steve Needs Help
From: Mrrzy
Date: 21 Jun 11 - 06:21 PM

Lie down on your back and do back stretches, holding each stretch for 10 secs. This should take more than 10 mn. Then read a boring book. Works for me every time...

Good luck! Enjoy the roller coaster if you can!

Any possibility the hard work and the not-calming are a manic thing?

Subject: RE: BS: Steve Needs Help
From: SPB-Cooperator
Date: 24 Jun 11 - 01:32 AM

More good news...
Today I officially reach the finishing line of the marathon work schedule.

I've done to 26 miles, all that is left today is the last 385 yards.

Tomorrow and Sunday I actually have days off work!!!!! I will have a tidy flat again!!!!!!!!

I am looking forward to ceremonially shredding and recycling all the working papers from the last month or so.

Next weekend I start a deep clean of the flat, each weekend focusing on one room.

Does anyone out there love ironing :)))) - I hate it!

Subject: RE: BS: Steve Needs Help
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 24 Jun 11 - 08:29 AM

I iron when I decide I need to (some folks might decide before I do that my clothes need ironing!)

enjoy your recycling & rest.

sandra

Subject: RE: BS: Steve Needs Help
From: Maryrrf
Date: 24 Jun 11 - 10:15 AM

I don't know if there is an equivalent in the UK, but this stuff works great and eliminates most of the need for ironing, unless you want a really pressed look with defined creases: Downy Wrinkle Release

Subject: RE: BS: Steve Needs Help
From: GUEST,livelylass
Date: 24 Jun 11 - 10:32 AM

How about hiring some paid help for cleaning up the pit?

Subject: RE: BS: Steve Needs Help
From: wysiwyg
Date: 24 Jun 11 - 10:46 AM

Hey Steve,

gogogogogo!

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: Steve Needs Help
From: GUEST,999
Date: 24 Jun 11 - 01:11 PM

"Does anyone out there love ironing :)))) - I hate it!"

What's ironing?

Subject: RE: BS: Steve Needs Help
From: Joe Offer
Date: 24 Jun 11 - 09:29 PM

You know, i r o n i n g - that's when you spread your shirt out on the bed until it's dry, believing that will keep the wrinkles out....

-Joe-

Subject: RE: BS: Steve Needs Help
From: Janie
Date: 24 Jun 11 - 11:51 PM

Hint from Heloise

Put wet clothes in dryer. Let dryer run just 3-5 minutes to warm up the clothes, then remove, and put on clothes hangers to dry.

No ironing needed!

Subject: RE: BS: Steve Needs Help
From: fat B****rd
Date: 25 Jun 11 - 04:41 PM

I like ironing and usually watch a DVD whilst engaged in same.
Yours
Sad fat B****rd

PS Good luck, Steve,

Subject: RE: BS: Steve Needs Help
From: Penny S.
Date: 25 Jun 11 - 05:58 PM

Make sure your bedroom is dark. Have a milky something - I'd use bread and milk in your situation, to up the carbs - about an hour before going to bed. (Rice pudding from a tin has worked, too.)
Have a non-infuriating talk station on the radio - a pillow speaker is a good idea, as it won't wake you up when the sleep setting turns it off. It needs to be something you would be interested in, and almost too quiet to hear.
Lavender and hops are also good to get the scents from. Haven't tried the hops, but the lavender oil from our local farm is effective.
If you don't drop off, get up and go and do something mindless but necessary like cleaning the oven. Or shoes. (Well, not exactly mindless, but totally different part of the brain, and repetitive.) (But bear in mind where your neighbours are. My sewing machine is next to one bedroom, and the place I'm drilling holes for shelves is next to another downstairs.)
Play the English solitaire hopping marbles over each other on a board. (Don't know why I thought of that one...)
Read something dense and tricky, so your brain forces you to sleep in self defence.
Penny

Subject: RE: BS: Steve Needs Help
From: Bert
Date: 26 Jun 11 - 04:12 AM

Try a hop pillow. For some people a quick puff on a joint works.

Subject: RE: BS: Steve Needs Help
From: Charmion
Date: 26 Jun 11 - 09:35 AM

I used to be a shift-worker, so in pure self-defence I learned how to put myself to sleep.

Close the curtains. Turn off or unplug the telephone. If it's hot and you don't have air-conditioning, take a cool shower. Turn on a quiet fan (this is important).

Go to bed.

Nowadays, I use a small iPod: pick a playlist about 30-45 minutes long, or a podcast of similar length, and put in one earphone (so you can lie on your side). Set the volume low.

Put on a sleep mask if you have one. Close your eyes and listen to the iPod.

Blunk ...

Subject: RE: BS: Steve Needs Help
From: SPB-Cooperator
Date: 04 Aug 11 - 05:57 AM

An update -

After going through hell and back to meet the 20th June deadllne, Ealing Council are now (so far) 17 days late in meeting their deadline in reaching a decision on grant funding and notifying organisations of the outcomes.

I am wondering why the council offices involved have not worked 28 consecutive days (including weekends and 16-20 hour working days) to meet their schedule?

Subject: RE: BS: Steve Needs Help
From: jacqui.c
Date: 04 Aug 11 - 07:44 AM

Because they are doing a JOB, not working at something that means a lot to them. They are the ones with the cash to 'hand out' and so are in a position of power. What does it matter to them if a deadline goes by? The money stays with them, gaining interest in their bank account.

Subject: RE: BS: Steve Needs Help
From: SPB-Cooperator
Date: 04 Aug 11 - 10:55 AM

The timescale was key as the existing funding finishes mid-October, and some of the charities if they have cuts will have contractual obligations to cover notice, unpaid holidays, etc. If funding cuts result in the loss of a post, say for a long standing employee, then the notice requirements could impact on other posts.