BS: Stupid Raccoon Tricks

Subject: BS: Stupid Raccoon Tricks
From: olddude
Date: 10 Aug 11 - 06:13 PM

After a great deal of work every night, that silly raccoon now comes over to me and begs for food right out of my hand. I give him a hotdog and he puts his other hand out and gives me high five .. laugh my butt off, its like thanks slap ...

so far that is all I have been able to teach the critter. Tried the roll over thing but raccoons kinda have a mind of their own. Now if I were a shady character I probably could see how he would be a good pick pocket with those fast hands of his but naw .. So what other tricks can I teach a raccoon to do for a hotdog.

Subject: RE: BS: Stupid Raccoon Tricks
From: gnu
Date: 10 Aug 11 - 06:25 PM

Give you rabies.

Subject: RE: BS: Stupid Raccoon Tricks
From: Greg F.
Date: 10 Aug 11 - 06:47 PM

Over the years have had a number of racoons that would take food from my hand. Same thing with skunks - who are basically good-natured critters who have got a bad rap.

Need to be careful, tho- they both have a mouth full of very respectable teeth & racoons particularly are quicker than lightning when they want to be.

Subject: RE: BS: Stupid Raccoon Tricks
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 10 Aug 11 - 07:02 PM

Carol used to raise baby raccoons. She told me about this thing she did with grapes and water. If you want to discuss raccoons with here I can put you in touch. She agrees with Gnu's point about rabies and urges extreme caution.

Subject: RE: BS: Stupid Raccoon Tricks
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 10 Aug 11 - 07:03 PM

"quicker than lightning"

Quicker than people for sure.

Subject: RE: BS: Stupid Raccoon Tricks
From: olddude
Date: 10 Aug 11 - 07:07 PM

He can't get rabies, I gave him the baited stuff with the vaccine in it that they give to wild life ... and yup they are fast and have sharp teeth for sure. This guy is a clown, just chatters up a storm when he sees me.

Subject: RE: BS: Stupid Raccoon Tricks
From: gnu
Date: 10 Aug 11 - 07:18 PM

Okay... no rabies.

If you breathe in the nasty stuff from their skat you can get very sick and you can die. Google it... raccoon roundworms or whatever.

Now... you don't have to be a raccoon shit disturber to have this problem. All ya gotta do is high five a racoon. They may wash their food but they still walk through their own shit near their dens.

My forefathers terminated racoons near their farms on sight with extreme predjudice and for very good reasonS.

Yer playin with fire.

But, they ARE cute eh?

Subject: RE: BS: Stupid Raccoon Tricks
From: olddude
Date: 10 Aug 11 - 07:19 PM

I guess there is a lot of other serious things the critters can carry so I better refrain from the hand feeding any longer .. Thanks for the PM for sure.

Subject: RE: BS: Stupid Raccoon Tricks
From: gnu
Date: 10 Aug 11 - 07:39 PM

Well, thing is, now, yer gonna have ta contend with a coon what expects food so you should have a plan. They can be very aggressive if they don't get the handout they expect. Like JtS said, CC may have some advice. Maybe others do.

Then again, I doubt the coon has a concealed carry permit so I shant worry about your safety, Dan. >;-)

Subject: RE: BS: Stupid Raccoon Tricks
From: olddude
Date: 10 Aug 11 - 07:46 PM

I don't think the guy is a martial arts master either LOL

Subject: RE: BS: Stupid Raccoon Tricks
From: olddude
Date: 10 Aug 11 - 07:48 PM

Seal Team and mini gun ... I will keep food in his dish rain or shine or snow ... I like the critter a lot

Subject: RE: BS: Stupid Raccoon Tricks
From: Greg F.
Date: 10 Aug 11 - 08:07 PM

My forefathers terminated racoons near their farms on sight with extreme predjudice and for very good reasons.

Oh yes? And what might those very good reasons be, pray? What other creatures did they terminate for similar reasons, pray?

I seem to recall something about "The Only Good Indian...."

I guess there is a lot of other serious things the critters can carry...

Well, I can send ya a lot longer list of the serious, deadly & unpleasant things HUMANS can carry and from which you can die.

Best stop shaking hands with folks, too.

Subject: RE: BS: Stupid Raccoon Tricks
From: gnu
Date: 10 Aug 11 - 08:22 PM

Greg... that is pretty sad. You should have read the previous posts and educated yourself a tad before posting such pretentious and sanctimonious bullshit. I am glad YOU were not one of my forefathers or I might even be here today. Go play with some coon shit. Asshole.

Subject: RE: BS: Stupid Raccoon Tricks
From: Bobert
Date: 10 Aug 11 - 08:25 PM

Cool... If you have a rat-coon fir a late-night buddy then fine... Don't let Rocky in the house... My buddy, John Wylie did that back in the 70s and "Lucy" was a menace in the house...

B~

Subject: RE: BS: Stupid Raccoon Tricks
From: Greg F.
Date: 10 Aug 11 - 08:29 PM

My, my, Gnu! Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?

You might try answering the question, instead of over-reacting & foaming at the mouth.

Pretentious bullshit? You mean like "the only good raccoon is a dead racoon?"

Or your hysterical Fear-mongering about racoon-borne diseases?

Then there's domestic dogs & cats who roam about eating god knows what, licking their asses & then licking your face. Ya gonna terminate them with extreme prejudice, too?

Subject: RE: BS: Stupid Raccoon Tricks
From: olddude
Date: 10 Aug 11 - 08:47 PM

Hey every farmer I know will shoot one on site. Because once they get into a chicken coupe they do more damage then any fox can. Likewise with crops or animal food etc ... Mine just comes and visits but I completely understand the comment and it is not a mean spirited comment. Most country people will do the very same thing and that is take them out ...live trap or gun for the safety of their crops and livestock. They are cute fuzzy little clowns but they can do a horrific amount of damage. I don't have a farm and I don't worry about such but I won't hand feed him anymore ... cause all factors aside, if he begs like that to someone else they may have a different reaction then give him a hot dog so it probably is best just to put food in his bowl and watch him play and don't do the interaction stuff.   Gnu is right what he said about his dad ... living in the country you have to do such or end up with a big problem on your farm.

Subject: RE: BS: Stupid Raccoon Tricks
From: Bobert
Date: 10 Aug 11 - 08:49 PM

We trapped 28 of them in one year back in Virginia and moved them far enough so that they wouldn't come back... They are pests for gardeners...

B~

Subject: RE: BS: Stupid Raccoon Tricks
From: gnu
Date: 10 Aug 11 - 09:00 PM

"You mean like "the only good raccoon is a dead racoon?"

I NEVER said that. That again is bullshit. And don't try to twist my words. What I posted was what I posted. What you SAY I posted don't matter shit.

"Or your hysterical Fear-mongering about racoon-borne diseases?"

I did not. I was quoting fact. Look it up. Educate yourself.

"Then there's domestic dogs & cats who roam about eating god knows what, licking their asses & then licking your face. Ya gonna terminate them with extreme prejudice, too?"

No, of course not. I do not let pets lick my face. If you do, you are an uneducated twit. They are domesticated and controlled and people take good care of them INCLUDING keeping them away from wild vermin like raccoons.

WTF is your problem? Are you REALLY that stunned? Or are you simple a troll?

Sorry, (not to you, Greg) but I am tired of people twisting what I post and talking complete, uneducated bullshit.

gnightgnu

Subject: RE: BS: Stupid Raccoon Tricks
From: olddude
Date: 10 Aug 11 - 09:07 PM

This is the stuff that pisses me off. A simple thread about a fun critter that pays me a visit ... ya know .. has to turn into a mud slinging contest.

Gnu said nothing out of line and he is absolutely right in regard to what every farmer I know will do. Bob said he trapped 28. With the farmers here ,some will live trap them most will take em out ... Lets just forget it ok ...

I got a visitor that I get a kick out of watching ... he will not harm anything here because I have nothing he can harm as long as he doesn't get into the house ...

I will keep feeding him but not by hand.

Now lets knock it off ok

Subject: RE: BS: Stupid Raccoon Tricks
From: katlaughing
Date: 10 Aug 11 - 10:49 PM

You could wear a heavy glove, but the idea of him expecting such from someone who doesn't know him is a fair consideration. I suspect Dorothy Parshall might come along, soon. She knows a lot about them and runs several rescue/educational things about them.

I remember a book I read as a kid: Sterling North's RASCAL.

I see another, later one, a true story, also, which looks worth reading: Ringo the Robber Raccoon.

I agree about the petty bs on this thread. There ARE ways to comment and disagree without getting down in the gutter. I understand gnu's comments, but I don't like that such things happen. I am heartened to hear Bobert made the effort to save 28; that is fantastic.

kat

Subject: RE: BS: Stupid Raccoon Tricks
From: Charley Noble
Date: 10 Aug 11 - 10:50 PM

Simmering down is a better way of relieving stress than slinging mud.

Raccoons love grapes, and I bet if you start rolling them he'll start rolling along after them.

Raccoons also love to sing when they're feeling really mellow. You could try harmonizing with him.

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: BS: Stupid Raccoon Tricks
From: GUEST,999
Date: 10 Aug 11 - 11:27 PM

Hey, Dan. There's been a skunk hanging around. I walked about five feet away from him one night and he moved off a bit and I kept going. Actually said hello to him/her (don't know which and I ain't gonna try to find out).

Anyway, Greg's right about skunks getting a bad rap. Raccoons are a very different matter. I don't go outta my way to hurt critters, nor would I with a raccoon, but I wouldn't want to be too complacent with them, either.

Good advice and decision about ceasing hand feeding. Your left hand gets bit and you could become a three or four-fingered guitar player. It's a cast iron sob to play with a finger or two outta commission.

Subject: RE: BS: Stupid Raccoon Tricks
From: gnu
Date: 11 Aug 11 - 05:48 AM

Dan... I apologize for acting like an idiot and ruining your thread.

Subject: RE: BS: Stupid Raccoon Tricks
From: gnu
Date: 11 Aug 11 - 05:51 AM

I just read the rest of the thread from where I posted last night, including Dan's post just before that post. I'd like to apologize to everybody else as well.

Subject: RE: BS: Stupid Raccoon Tricks
From: Greg F.
Date: 11 Aug 11 - 07:58 AM

Apologies too, Dan. Guess my response to being called an uneducated asshole wasn't as well thought out as it could have been.

Subject: RE: BS: Stupid Raccoon Tricks
From: Charley Noble
Date: 11 Aug 11 - 08:10 AM

Fod

1. As I went down to the mowin' field,
Hu-rye, tu-rye, fod-a-link-a-dye-do,
As I went down to the mowin' field, Fod!
Well, as I went down to the mowin' field,
A big black snake bit me by the heel,
Tu-rolly-day!


2. I fell down upon the ground, (3 times)
I closed my eyes and I looked all around.

3. I climbed upon a stump to take my rest, (3)
And I looked like a woodchuck a-sitting on a nest.

4. I set down to sing this song (3)
'Long came a raccoon with his britches on.

5. The raccoon grinned a banjo song (3)
And along came a skunk with his britches on.

6. Well, the raccoon and skunk got into a fight, (3)
And the fumes so high they put out the light.

That about sums up this thread.

We did have a raccoon home invasion a few years back, via the cat door on the porch. Not only did they eat all the dry cat food in the kitchen but they resorted all the CDs in the studio. We have since added a 12-inch wall to the cat door balcony deck which was already two feet above the porch deck. But the raccoons had a really great time in their soiree.

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: BS: Stupid Raccoon Tricks
From: olddude
Date: 11 Aug 11 - 09:13 AM

No problem my friend we all can get a little strained sometimes and say things we shouldn't ... especially me on a bad day

Fat guy didn't show up until really late. I see his food bowl was well cleaned but I guess he was out cattin around with my cats again. I still think the critter believes he is a cat since he has been hanging with my old cat since he was a little raccoon

Subject: RE: BS: Stupid Raccoon Tricks
From: Charley Noble
Date: 11 Aug 11 - 09:46 AM

Old Dude-

The young raccoon our hound dog brought home when I was a lad on the farm was also raised with cats and enjoyed wrestling with them, and when he grew older attempted more preposterous things.

Charley Noble

Subject: RE: BS: Stupid Raccoon Tricks
From: GUEST,999
Date: 11 Aug 11 - 10:02 AM

"and when he grew older attempted more preposterous things."

I had a dog like that. His name was Ginger. He reminded me of the story about the new rooster that a fellow had purchased. The rooster was released and immediately went to attend his anointed rounds: three hens, a cat, two small dogs, a pigeon, the duck and a turkey. The fellow mused, "He's gonna kill himself." Next morning the owner saw some vultures circling overhead. He ran outside to find the rooster on its back, his tongue hanging out, his head tilted to the left and his wings spread. He walked over and said aloud, "Damn it, I knew you'd kill yourself with your shenanigans!" The rooster opened one eye and replied, "Sssssh. They're getting closer."

Subject: RE: BS: Stupid Raccoon Tricks
From: olddude
Date: 11 Aug 11 - 10:28 AM

LOL

Subject: RE: BS: Stupid Raccoon Tricks
From: Big Al Whittle
Date: 11 Aug 11 - 02:55 PM

Is this the animal that features in the Grandpa Jones song Uncle Eph's got the Coon and gone-oh.

In England we don't have racoons or people called Eph.

Subject: RE: BS: Stupid Raccoon Tricks
From: Big Al Whittle
Date: 11 Aug 11 - 03:05 PM

New song unrecorded as yet:-

Egbert the Seal

Chorus
Egbert is a seal   (YODEL-AY-EEE!)
He can't play guitar (DIDDLEY -BOM!)
He got nasty little flappy little flippers, stickin' out his body
Instead of arms
Egbert lies on the rocks - all day
All the other seals have crapped on
And he wishes and he wishes, and he wishes that he was Eric Clapton.

Every now and then, (YODEL-AY-EEE!)
Egbert goes for a swim (DIDDLEY -BOM!)
Then he thinks about Eric Clapton
How he wishes that he was him!
Egbert dives down deeper
Egbert feels such a failure!
And he wishes, and he wishes, and he wishes, that he could
Play that riff from Layla

repeat chorus

Egbert tells all the other seals
About his secret wish (YODEL-AY-EEE!)
They all say, 'Cheer up Egbert! Come on lad! Eat a couple of fish'
(DIDDLEY -BOM!)
So Egbert devours
Some really quite excellent cod
But he just can't help thinkin'
'It really is a bit of a sod'.

Repeat chorus

© words and music by Alan Whittle 23 July 2011

Subject: RE: BS: Stupid Raccoon Tricks
From: ranger1
Date: 11 Aug 11 - 06:54 PM

Big Al, yes this is indeed the creature. However, if I'm not mistaken, Uncle Eph was a hound dog.

Subject: RE: BS: Stupid Raccoon Tricks
From: katlaughing
Date: 11 Aug 11 - 07:14 PM

And Eph is short for Ephraim, I think.

Subject: RE: BS: Stupid Raccoon Tricks
From: Big Al Whittle
Date: 11 Aug 11 - 11:00 PM

Its weird the way - if they want to do a film about the roaring twenties they always show a college boy with a hip flask, wearing a racoon coat. Must have been a lot of them.

An English music hall comedian (Bud Flanagan) always appeared as a tramp in a racoon coat.

Subject: RE: BS: Stupid Raccoon Tricks
From: Big Al Whittle
Date: 12 Aug 11 - 10:33 PM

my god! lady racoon keepers are so sexy!

Sort of a bridge between us and Raquel Welxh in a Million years BC.

I bet they look fabulous in a skin bikini!

You Americans - you don't know you're born!

Subject: RE: BS: Stupid Raccoon Tricks
From: GUEST,leeneia
Date: 13 Aug 11 - 09:25 AM

Al, you ought to find a kind of humor more intelligent than merely insulting Americans. You're turning into a troll.
==============
Years ago a raccoon got in our attic. Our house has a peaked roof, and the raccoon used to enjoy sliding down the angle and scrabbling back up - again and again. It chose the surface right over our bed for this game. We'd pound on the wall and yell, and it would pause, puzzled, as if to say "Did you just hear something?" Then it would start up again.

It was cute, but we weren't getting any sleep. That's dangerous. Fortunately, the raccoon moved out when we insulated the attic. We also repaired the weak place in the roof that let a raccoon get in.

Subject: RE: BS: Stupid Raccoon Tricks
From: olddude
Date: 13 Aug 11 - 11:10 AM

Leeneia
about 10 years ago I had one get into my office attic ... I live trapped him and closed the hole. I was amazed that he could squeeze through such a small area ... thankfully he did no damage. My office is an old Victorian house built in 1865

Subject: RE: BS: Stupid Raccoon Tricks
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 13 Aug 11 - 11:15 AM

Is it my imagination or have many UK catters become a lot more raccoon like (mischievous) or even rabid raccoon like (down right cranky and short tempered) in the last month?

Subject: RE: BS: Stupid Raccoon Tricks
From: olddude
Date: 13 Aug 11 - 11:17 AM

Your a good guy Al and I enjoy your posts but I gotta agree with Leeneia. Knock it off ok .. it is beneath you

Subject: RE: BS: Stupid Raccoon Tricks
From: Big Al Whittle
Date: 13 Aug 11 - 12:24 PM

No intention to insult. Honest!

Not sure how I did it. Unqualified apologies to anyone offended.

Subject: RE: BS: Stupid Raccoon Tricks
From: gnu
Date: 13 Aug 11 - 01:38 PM

Yo... Al... I thought you were trying to make a joke. I didn't get it but I still thought you were "trying". If I am mistaken, I agree with leeneia but if you WERE trying, your apology is even more appreciated by me (even tho I am just a reader).

Jts... ya don't say?

Subject: RE: BS: Stupid Raccoon Tricks
From: GUEST,leeneia
Date: 13 Aug 11 - 05:24 PM

Okay, then. We're all at peace.

A friend of mine suffered a home invasion by a mother raccoon and two pups, whom she found in her kitchen. (Her cats were completely freaked.) She called an animal control person, who trapped and removed them.

Funny thing is, even though these were sizeable animals, she couldn't figure out how they were getting in the house. The expert knew, however, and closed up the opening. They can get through remarkably small openings, apparently.

Subject: RE: BS: Stupid Raccoon Tricks
From: olddude
Date: 13 Aug 11 - 06:06 PM

You are a gentleman big Al :-)

Subject: RE: BS: Stupid Raccoon Tricks
From: gnu
Date: 13 Aug 11 - 06:18 PM

leeneia... any kinda rat can get through a hole you wouldn't think it could get through. A large mouse can get through a hole smaller than a dime. If it's got whiskers, it's a rat.

Subject: RE: BS: Stupid Raccoon Tricks
From: Greg F.
Date: 13 Aug 11 - 06:35 PM

If it's got whiskers, it's a rat.

And he calls ME uneducated. ;>)

Subject: RE: BS: Stupid Raccoon Tricks
From: gnu
Date: 13 Aug 11 - 07:12 PM

Are you serious Greg? Haven't you done enough harm to yourself already? This is beginning to be stalking... as it seemed to be when you started this crap. Piss off. Leave me alone. I am tired of yer shit.

Subject: RE: BS: Stupid Raccoon Tricks
From: gnu
Date: 13 Aug 11 - 07:17 PM

Sorry Dan... I am outta here. gnightgnu.

Subject: RE: BS: Stupid Raccoon Tricks
From: Greg F.
Date: 13 Aug 11 - 08:02 PM

Jaysus, Gnu - what gives, man? No, I am NOT "serious".

You need to buy your knickers a couple of sizes larger. Or get some professional help for your paranoia.

Or is it just you didn't see the    ;>)    or don't know what it means?

Subject: RE: BS: Stupid Raccoon Tricks
From: Big Al Whittle
Date: 13 Aug 11 - 08:12 PM

If we had racoons in England - I would be a racoon juggler.

Or a magician - sawing a racoon in half.

Voila! Is this the racoon you first thought of......

Subject: RE: BS: Stupid Raccoon Tricks
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 13 Aug 11 - 08:21 PM

Hand on, Al, We'll send ya some.

Subject: RE: BS: Stupid Raccoon Tricks
From: Big Al Whittle
Date: 14 Aug 11 - 05:57 AM

Idea for a really stupid Racoon trick

Enter magician with a bag of racoons.
Pick a racoon, any racoon.....don't show it me, show the audience!
Alright put the racoon back in the bag.
Say the magic words, wave wand....produce racoon from the bag with a flourish, alternatively racoon could rise spontaneously from the bag to stunned disbelieving applause from audience!

Is this YOUR racoon....?

Ma fois! Incroyable!

Subject: RE: BS: Stupid Raccoon Tricks
From: olddude
Date: 14 Aug 11 - 10:28 AM

Awww SHIT !!
found him on the road by my house, a car got him ... there is not a lot of cars on my street ... Go figured ... my luck lately ..

well he went happy at least .. end of Raccoon story ...

Subject: RE: BS: Stupid Raccoon Tricks
From: Charley Noble
Date: 14 Aug 11 - 10:38 AM

Olddude-

Sad, indeed. Hope you found a nice place to bury him.

Unfortunately some raccoons never learn to give the right of way to cars and trucks.

The same fate is common to young eagles who feed on road kill and then "mantle it" when a car or truck approaches; mantling discourages other eagles from encroaching but has no effect on cars or trucks.

Charley Noble

Subject: RE: BS: Stupid Raccoon Tricks
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 14 Aug 11 - 11:24 AM

My condolences.

Subject: RE: BS: Stupid Raccoon Tricks
From: gnu
Date: 14 Aug 11 - 11:58 AM

My condolences, Dan.

Subject: RE: BS: Stupid Raccoon Tricks
From: olddude
Date: 14 Aug 11 - 12:17 PM

I put him way out back ... he was a lot of fun for a while ... but he went happy ... Oh well ... I will miss watching him and the antics ...
I am sure another will come by

Subject: RE: BS: Stupid Raccoon Tricks
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 14 Aug 11 - 12:41 PM

Dan, Since you seem to be over your grief, I feel I would be remiss if I were not to tell you that our neighbor has this wonderful recipe.....

Subject: RE: BS: Stupid Raccoon Tricks
From: olddude
Date: 14 Aug 11 - 12:48 PM

Jack
can't stop laughing ... thanks I dig em up ... does it involve the use of bbq

Subject: RE: BS: Stupid Raccoon Tricks
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 14 Aug 11 - 01:05 PM

Boiling, spicing then roasting. BTW, it is Lena's husband.

Subject: RE: BS: Stupid Raccoon Tricks
From: ChanteyLass
Date: 17 Aug 11 - 11:27 PM

Olddude, I'm sorry for your loss but glad that Jack could make you laugh.

Subject: RE: BS: Stupid Raccoon Tricks
From: olddude
Date: 17 Aug 11 - 11:44 PM

thank you hon
yea I miss him. He was really cool ... Sad poor little fuzzy critter

Subject: RE: BS: Stupid Raccoon Tricks
From: Charley Noble
Date: 18 Aug 11 - 08:23 AM

olddude-

Those raccoons do have a lot of personality, unlike other wildlife, not to mention neighbors and family.

Charley Noble