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BS: Empty Nest to Fill Up Again....
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Subject: RE: BS: Empty Nest to Fill Up Again.... From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity Date: 26 Mar 12 - 02:18 PM Bobert is expressing the same thoughts, in regards to 'his' castle, and the kids sucking off them, the same way the 'Tea Party' speaks of what is going on, with the 'so called liberal' agenda sucking off the national castle!...hmmm, How's it feel, cowboy?....Now we find out that Bobert is a closet conservative????..or just that his generosity for the 'poor' only extends when its allocating OTHER people's money and resources. Something to consider.....when you're not focusing on YOUR scamming! Still waving! GfS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Empty Nest to Fill Up Again.... From: Bobert Date: 26 Mar 12 - 09:58 AM BTW... Just got an email from Step-ie telling me that d-i-l works until noon and then they are off to fairyland to "take care of some business"... BTW, Part 2... I do appreciate everyone's input, support, advice, consternations, etc... It has made it a lot easier... B~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: Empty Nest to Fill Up Again.... From: Bobert Date: 26 Mar 12 - 08:55 AM Yer on a roll, GfinS... I mean, your post reminds me of the double chocolate brownie that Starbucks sell except in this case it double-psycho-babble... lol... But as me if I expected anything else from you??? Waving back atcha from outside the fence surrounding the state mental hospital... No matter... D-i-l had to open the coffee shop today and Step-ie went with her... What do you think the odds are that he's on his way to fairyland to secure the castle for the princess??? I'd put the odds at 100 to 1 which means another step closer to for me to re-secure the castle for my princess... lol... BTW, once everything seems to be in the "history" column, I do have this little "exit" talk planned for Step-ie si that he will better understand the importance of the 6th commandment... But for now, it's one day at a time and the next 4 will be in the western mountains at the P-Vine's sister's cabin... B~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: Empty Nest to Fill Up Again.... From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity Date: 26 Mar 12 - 02:14 AM ROFLMAO!!! Repeat???.....Chances are, it's going to follow you....unless you do something about the interaction. But what do I know?....Talking to folks who can't conceive of the mechanisms and causes and effect of 'empathy'..or see their place in it. If this was 'in love'..why was it a problem? If not, what did you expect?.....Selflessness, for your convenience? And why then bring it up? I know, I know...'psycho-babble'..an 'easy out' to ignore and look the other way..blame somebody else. Waving with a Smile, GfS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Empty Nest to Fill Up Again.... From: Bobert Date: 25 Mar 12 - 10:08 PM BTW, no plans to repeat this experience, thank you... B~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: Empty Nest to Fill Up Again.... From: Bobert Date: 25 Mar 12 - 09:10 PM Well, the P-Vine and I just returned from the evening with one of her other two (normal) sons and all went according to plan with the sale of the scooter... April 7th seems to be the target date for the move!!! I did learn tonight while drivin' home from normal sons that Step-ie had asked the P-Vine to remove a picture of Step-ie's ex-wife on their wedding day that has Step-ie, the ex and the P-Vine in it... The picture is on our bedroom dresser, gol danged it... I told the P-Vine to put it back up??? B~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: Empty Nest to Fill Up Again.... From: Crowhugger Date: 25 Mar 12 - 08:11 PM Fingers crossed. Toes too! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Empty Nest to Fill Up Again.... From: Sandra in Sydney Date: 25 Mar 12 - 06:37 PM and make sure that this reality soap opera ENDS never to be revived or repeated after they go (change the locks? change phone number & email addresses?) sandra |
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Subject: RE: BS: Empty Nest to Fill Up Again.... From: katlaughing Date: 25 Mar 12 - 04:29 PM Make sure the princess doesn't get her hands on the cash! Great news!! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Empty Nest to Fill Up Again.... From: gnu Date: 25 Mar 12 - 03:16 PM Ebbie! Tsk tsk! But, ya know... >;-) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Empty Nest to Fill Up Again.... From: Ebbie Date: 25 Mar 12 - 02:51 PM "Next weekend"? I'm with you on that. Unless they come "home" in the next day or two with a certificate permitting them to open a surefire business that will require them to stay with you just a leetle longer. :) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Empty Nest to Fill Up Again.... From: gnu Date: 25 Mar 12 - 02:09 PM Great news! And, well done, Bobert. Hehehee... if it was me, I'd be tempted at a few parting shots but I know you won't burn any bridges. Saaay, that's another old adage that fits wisely and isn't a buzz phrase at uni. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Empty Nest to Fill Up Again.... From: Bobert Date: 25 Mar 12 - 02:04 PM Well, well, well... Looks as if the motor scooter is SOLD!!! Yup, if things go as planned the buyer will be here in less than an hour with CASH and it is sufficient amount to get the princess her own little rented castle in fairyland... Step-ie had to come to me to walk him thru some strategies this morning and to basically give him "permission"... That's progress... Now, providing the deal gets done, it will be interesting how quickly Step-ie moves to pull off the move... I'm betting they will be out next weekend or soon afterwards... TBTG... B~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: Empty Nest to Fill Up Again.... From: gnu Date: 25 Mar 12 - 01:31 PM Mum wouldn't say shit if she had a mouthful. And, she didn't learn that whilst obtaining her doctorate in psych at some fancy uni. She learned that growing up in house with 5 sisters, 3 brotrhers, parents, grandmother and an uncle... and anyone else who NEEDED help. I'll say it again... I know Bobert is doin right BUT I don't know if I could put up with the arrogance and insolance. "Lazy" is a pretty mild term in my books for the little |
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Subject: RE: BS: Empty Nest to Fill Up Again.... From: Ebbie Date: 25 Mar 12 - 12:54 PM “These family dynamics, are the trickle down effect from the ambiance in the home, created by the interaction, and exploited by all the 'players' whose priorities are their 'comfort zone', and doing as much to have that 'zone' met by others, through expectations, rather than extending OUT of their comfort zone, to meet the NEEDS of anyone's but their own...that, in turn, foments a 'sense of entitlement'...and to meet that sense, manipulations through emotions, disappointment and fear of disillusionment, leaves a gaping hole in the confidence, for taking responsibility.â€쳌 Impressive. Is this kind of what is being said? These family dynamics are the result of the atmosphere created in the home by the family’s interactions. Family members whose comfort zones are the most important of all things have learned to manipulate the other members of the family to leave them in them. Having manipulated the family into leaving their comfort zones intact, these family members develop a sense of entitlement and never take responsibility for their actions. ? I dunno. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Empty Nest to Fill Up Again.... From: Bobert Date: 25 Mar 12 - 09:16 AM Psycho-babble, Richard... I mean she is the guest from insanity, right??? But no matter... This ain't about GfinS... So, I was mistaken about the end-time on Srep-ie's scooter auction... It is around 11:00 am (2 hours from now) and I have a better feeling this time about it selling... I do think that the two little talks I've had with him about wants/needs is working, at the very least, with this auction... So, let's pray and hope that this gets done because I know that if it does that they will be moving on to fairyland where mean ol' P-Vine ain't gonna call the princess "lazy"... B~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: Empty Nest to Fill Up Again.... From: Richard Bridge Date: 25 Mar 12 - 04:48 AM I don't understand a word of that, GfS - but then I often find that from your posts. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Empty Nest to Fill Up Again.... From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity Date: 25 Mar 12 - 02:30 AM Jeri, Your post was both constructive and insightful...that being said, these family dynamics, are the trickle down effect from the ambiance in the home, created by the interaction, and exploited by all the 'players' whose priorities are their 'comfort zone', and doing as much to have that 'zone' met by others, through expectations, rather than extending OUT of their comfort zone, to meet the NEEDS of anyone's but their own...that, in turn, foments a 'sense of entitlement'...and to meet that sense, manipulations through emotions, disappointment and fear of disillusionment, leaves a gaping hole in the confidence, for taking responsibility. I found this a wonderfully entertaining, revealing thread on the subject When you get to the first page, scroll to the bottom, and work up. Can you see a 'sense of entitlement' vs. the emotional needs of a woman, at play here.....just wondering... Keeping it constructive.....(we can all learn and benefit) GfS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Empty Nest to Fill Up Again.... From: Richard Bridge Date: 24 Mar 12 - 08:52 PM If there is no medical diagnosis then I would be surprised if Lyme disease were present. Many doctors are tosspots, but they are more often right than wrong. It is a divergence, but the derivation of the name is as follows "The disease is named after the town of Lyme, Connecticut, USA, where a number of cases were identified in 1975. Although Allen Steere realized that Lyme disease was a tick-borne disease in 1978, the cause of the disease remained a mystery until 1981, when B. burgdorferi was identified by Willy Burgdorfer." |
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Subject: RE: BS: Empty Nest to Fill Up Again.... From: gnu Date: 24 Mar 12 - 07:12 PM Do you **** in the woods? My Father can play dominoes better than your Father caaan. Oh no he canaannn't. Let's have a tournamennnnnt. Okay, I'll get the dominooooes. Sorry, Joe. But my bro loved tht one. I miss him. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Empty Nest to Fill Up Again.... From: Bobert Date: 24 Mar 12 - 07:01 PM If this girl has Lyme Disease that I'm the pope... B~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: Empty Nest to Fill Up Again.... From: Midchuck Date: 24 Mar 12 - 10:10 AM Is "Lyme's disease" an internet diagnosis or does it come from a doctor? As a topic it seems to be very full of controversy! Actually, it's "Lyme Disease", and there is controversy, but I'm not sure why. It's a fairly minor deal IF you catch it early, but it often isn't caught early. And a couple years later, you get some fairly miserable symptoms that are hard to treat. I studied on it some because Mizchuck had it, and we were lucky enough that our doc did catch it early. P. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Empty Nest to Fill Up Again.... From: Bobert Date: 24 Mar 12 - 10:06 AM First of all, there is no diagnosis of Lyme Disease in d-i-l... These kids seems to be hypochondriacs... Every day it's another medical problem with one or both of them... Secondly, there is some controversy in general within the medical profession about Lyme Disease... Some say that it stays with you forever in a low grade form and others say once treated it's gone??? B~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: Empty Nest to Fill Up Again.... From: Richard Bridge Date: 24 Mar 12 - 09:55 AM Is "Lyme's disease" an internet diagnosis or does it come from a doctor? As a topic it seems to be very full of controversy! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Empty Nest to Fill Up Again.... From: Bobert Date: 24 Mar 12 - 09:12 AM Well, I have two choices: blow up everything or... ...not... If I blow up everything then the P-Vine and I lose our source of information... I am kinda a spy here... And I have step-ie's trust and without it he wouldn't even be trying to sell his scooter.. It's not like I'm not working here... I'm probably working harder than anyone else... I'm just working with my brains and not my emotions... B~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: Empty Nest to Fill Up Again.... From: Jeri Date: 24 Mar 12 - 09:02 AM Bobert, forgive me but your "good cop" comes off as passive-aggressive, I-don't-wanna-deal. The P-vine is stuck being the only honest grown-up. You're supposed to have her back--is it any wonder she's "downright cranky and keeps yelling at me as if I have some magic wand..." Perhaps the "magic wand" is just honesty. It's NOT "fun 'n games" and you're forcing her to be the only person with a shred of responsibility. If she gets her hands on a gun, YOU'D better be out of range. ...which is maybe something close to a prelude to what GfS isn't saying. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Empty Nest to Fill Up Again.... From: maeve Date: 24 Mar 12 - 08:58 AM You and the lovely P-Vine are doing a great job getting through a challenging time, Bobert. If I had the money I'd buy that scooter just to help move things along. S'pose I could haul firewood with it? Maeve |
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Subject: RE: BS: Empty Nest to Fill Up Again.... From: Bobert Date: 24 Mar 12 - 07:56 AM Well, I'm okay with the decision to invite step-ie and (girl friend at the time) here to get their lives in order... No regrets... It was the correct thing to do then and, in spite of the fin ' games, it still is... But then again my many years in social work well prepared me for all that is going on... Might of fact, I like people who are a tad "off"... The poor P-Vine, however, now falls squarely in the middle of the "tad off" category and I'm spending a lot of time gluing her back together... I just learned that training may be just this one day??? Hmmmmm??? How are the kids going to get moved??? Here's hoping that the scooter sells today... B~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: Empty Nest to Fill Up Again.... From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity Date: 24 Mar 12 - 12:53 AM Hmmm....methinks before you find yourself frustrated at all this, you might ask yourself, how in the world did this happen, and what precipitated it. It should be after some moments of brutal honesty, can you begin to see the ambiance in the home, brought in by the 'elders' may have played a huge role in it...and why they have such a hard time correcting it. You have already posted HUGE clues...but I've been holding fire....for a LONG time....but, it's in your posts. Regards, You ol' Fart, GfS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Empty Nest to Fill Up Again.... From: Bobert Date: 23 Mar 12 - 07:33 PM Well, well, well... Yeah, we've been having so much fun that I haven't had half a chance to write the latest installment... So, here... Have at it... So, first of all, it's good thing that the P-Vine doesn't have a gun or the fun 'n games might have entered into a new phase... She is downright cranky and keeps yelling at me as if I have some magic wand that I can wave over these children which will give them good judgment, sensitivity, intelligence, wisdom, etc... I keep having to remind her that it beteer for me to keep some level of communications open than to burn the bridge, throw up my hands and scream "screw it"... So, step-ie has been hired as a waiter at a new Bonefish Grill up in Fairyland, NC where he an Princess D-i-l plan on living and... ...he begins training tomorrow!!! Hey, that's progress... And they are going to ***actually*** pay him (around $9 an hour) so that if he trains for 2 weeks they will have enough $$$ to move to Fairyland... Meanwhile, d-i-l spent 3 hours out of her room this afternoon and the lovebirds went for a walk in the woods... Great!!! As fir her having (or not) Lyme Disease??? The girl is anorexic... She is 5'11" and may weigh 110 pounds... She does not eat anything green... No veggies... She has been diagnosed in the past with anemia... Do the math??? Tonight, the kids decided to take over the P-Vine's kitchen... Step-ie knew that his mom had bought us some fresh cod but they took over the kitchen??? I didn't get that??? But soon as they got their supper ready they loaded it, as per usual, and headed to their cell.. Meanwhile, the motor scooter is relisted on ebay and should end tomorrow with low reserve... Who knows??? Did I mention that I'm thankful that the P-Vine doesn't have a gun??? And, my friends, this has been another chapter of... ..."As Bobert's World Burns" B:~) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Empty Nest to Fill Up Again.... From: GUEST,CS Date: 23 Mar 12 - 05:40 PM Reframe innit! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reframing |
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Subject: RE: BS: Empty Nest to Fill Up Again.... From: GUEST,CS Date: 23 Mar 12 - 05:37 PM I dunno BB I'm deffo in a minority here, but if the d-i-l suffers from Lymes disease, then she may very well faint from over-exertion. You might not believe that she's sick, but it doesn't mean that she isn't sick - and working - unlike the son in law. IF you both chose to let them off paying you anything so they could save, then you chose that. And they've saved - or so it would seem. Three months Adult step-kid rebound isn't worth freaking out over I reckon. Sure it's changed things a bit for a little while, but hey ho, that's the joy of family! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Empty Nest to Fill Up Again.... From: John MacKenzie Date: 23 Mar 12 - 05:20 PM It all started so optimistically ;-( |
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Subject: RE: BS: Empty Nest to Fill Up Again.... From: Crowhugger Date: 23 Mar 12 - 05:17 PM Looking forward to today's instalment. Bobert, you guys oughta start your own reality TV show. Make this craziness pay. Think of the revenues from merchandizing alone: Your own line of kick-their-asses shoes, rose-coloured glasses, "I'm only acting like a spoiled child" t-shirts, d-i-l dolls (whoa, say that fast and it sounds x-rated), the list goes on as long as the imagination. When this mess finally gets sorted, you'll all be famous and can each start your own separate TV show. The beginning of an empire, I can feel it... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Empty Nest to Fill Up Again.... From: Bobert Date: 22 Mar 12 - 08:23 PM Love the nailing the door shut idea, Lizzie... It's priceless... Other than the cost of the nails, of course... B~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: Empty Nest to Fill Up Again.... From: Richard Bridge Date: 22 Mar 12 - 08:11 PM Hey Bobster - I did read "I'm OK, You're OK" once, years ago (don't go there, nagging woman issue) and the step ie is playing "poor me" and "yes but" with that scooter, no? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Empty Nest to Fill Up Again.... From: GUEST,Lizzie Cornish Date: 22 Mar 12 - 08:02 PM Try hammering 12" nails into D-i-lly's door..when she's on the inside.. ;0) P-Vine, repeat after me.. "IF you think you're getting a fooking apology from me, you Spoilt Little Brat, you can take a hike!" Next time she starts to faint, just say "Yup, looks like you're gonna faint! Tea, anyone?" And go into the next room..thus removing her audience and making her dramatics useless... Failing this, build yourselves a little padded cell somewhere in the garden, take a dozen bottles of something very strong and delicious, guaranteed to cause hiccups and/or singing and refuse to come out until they've gone......... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Empty Nest to Fill Up Again.... From: Bobert Date: 22 Mar 12 - 05:25 PM Well, well, well... Seems that step-ie's motor scooter did not sell...Bummer... So he asked my advice and actually followed in relisting it with no "reserve"... So I went to check and found that here is entire section in ebay for motot scooters and he's had it listed as "motorcycles, other" so I advised him to move it in with other like objects which he has now done... D-i-l, meanwhile, refuses to come out of her room until the P-Vine apologizes for calling her lazy??? But she did find time pull another fainting spell last night for step-ie... Is this fun, or what??? B:~) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Empty Nest to Fill Up Again.... From: Crowhugger Date: 22 Mar 12 - 03:06 PM Bobert, seeing all the tight-rope walking you're doing and the exceptional flexibility you're using to survive in and manage this situation, I suggest you are now well qualified for 1st string work with Cirque du Soleil. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Empty Nest to Fill Up Again.... From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity Date: 22 Mar 12 - 02:18 PM I reiterate It's great advice...otherwise you are enabling bad behavior. Best Wishes! GfS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Empty Nest to Fill Up Again.... From: gnu Date: 22 Mar 12 - 01:39 PM Bobert... that's why I said "almost tell you..." I know you are doing the right thing. I've commended you for it in other posts. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Empty Nest to Fill Up Again.... From: katlaughing Date: 22 Mar 12 - 12:11 PM Triangulation is never a good thing to get into. You are doing great, Bobert! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Empty Nest to Fill Up Again.... From: Ebbie Date: 22 Mar 12 - 11:04 AM That's a great line: "They have been using our limited resources to meet their need and theirs to meet their wants..." |
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Subject: RE: BS: Empty Nest to Fill Up Again.... From: Bobert Date: 22 Mar 12 - 07:22 AM Well yeah, Y-Yankee... They have been using our limited resources to meet their need and theirs to meet their wants... B~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: Empty Nest to Fill Up Again.... From: YorkshireYankee Date: 21 Mar 12 - 10:52 PM Been thinking of/about this thread -- on & off -- all day; it occurred to me that step-ie & d-i-l's attitude can be summed up in a phrase I've heard my husband mention (think it might be well-known over here): What's yours is mine; what's mine's me own... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Empty Nest to Fill Up Again.... From: Sandra in Sydney Date: 21 Mar 12 - 08:38 PM wise Bobert |
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Subject: RE: BS: Empty Nest to Fill Up Again.... From: Bobert Date: 21 Mar 12 - 08:16 PM Right now I have one "Get Out of Jail" card... Sure, I can go hard-ass and lose that card, which might be the difference between getting them out peacefully or by force... I heard the part of the conversation where d-i-l wants an apology from the P-Vine... I wasn't part of it... I overheard just a smidge of the conversation... Listen, gn-ze... I spent 17 years in social work and I'm playin' this smart on all 3 fronts... Everyone would love for me to jump into the soup... No thanks... The soup is a trap... B~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: Empty Nest to Fill Up Again.... From: katlaughing Date: 21 Mar 12 - 08:11 PM Bobert, I am glad P-Vine has you. You're doing so well with such an intolerable situation. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Empty Nest to Fill Up Again.... From: gnu Date: 21 Mar 12 - 08:03 PM Demanding an apology? Goodness gracious you are stoic. To the point that I would almost tell you if you don't the little bitch's ass... agggghhhhhhhh! Un***ingfreal. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Empty Nest to Fill Up Again.... From: Bobert Date: 21 Mar 12 - 07:55 PM I agree, Richard, and if the kids come to me I have the entire story mapped out in my head that is "just the facts" and can be delivered in a non-threatening manner... But they will have to come to me... B~ |