BS: Chongo Chimp: Kidnapper and Terrorist!

Subject: BS: Chongo Chimp: Kidnapper and Terrorist!
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Dec 11 - 10:34 AM

SAN FRANCISCO (AP) -- Police are investigating the brazen theft of a beloved squirrel monkey named Banana Sam from the San Francisco Zoo.

The 17-year-old primate disappeared late Thursday, and investigators believe someone stole the animal, San Francisco police Sgt. Michael Andraychak said.

"It was apparent someone broke into the zoo and deliberately took the animal, we believe somebody has him," Andraychak said.

A reward, initially offered at $1,000 for Banana Sam's safe return, has been increased to $5,000 thanks to a pledge from a private donor, zoo spokesman Danny Latham said late Friday.

Who else? Poor critter will probably be held for ransom, which will be used to finance Chongo's terrorist "American Primate Party."

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Chimp: Kidnapper and Terrorist!
From: Sandy Mc Lean
Date: 31 Dec 11 - 11:53 AM

Perhaps Chongo just freed Banana Sam from a life of being an innocent prisoner in a zoo's cage. Chongo may indeed be his brothers keeper but his concern and empathy for a misfortunate soul is admirable!

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Chimp: Kidnapper and Terrorist!
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Dec 11 - 01:39 PM

I doubt it. Unless there's money in it Chongo's not that giving and caring. He sold both his sister and mother into a Life Of Shame just to cover his debts to certain people and flee from his "mistakes".

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Chimp: Kidnapper and Terrorist!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 31 Dec 11 - 02:53 PM

Well, well. Another campaign year in the offing, and the mudslinging has begun! How much did they pay you to spread this bit of slanderous horse puckey, Rap?

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Chimp: Kidnapper and Terrorist!
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Dec 11 - 02:56 PM

So, you admit it's all true! Calling the truth names is a slimy, political trick used to cover up the truth!

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Chimp: Kidnapper and Terrorist!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 31 Dec 11 - 03:00 PM

You sir, would not know the truth if it fell off the top of the Empire State Building and landed on your pointy head! (note the clever ape reference) It is ludicrous to suggest that a well respected candidate and staunch defender of the law like Chongo Chimp would break into a zoo and abduct a Squirrel Monkey! HAVE YOU NO SHAME????

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Chimp: Kidnapper and Terrorist!
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Dec 11 - 09:38 PM

He would if the monkey knew Certain Things that would ruin his reputation and quite possibly land him in jail.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Chimp: Kidnapper and Terrorist!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 01 Jan 12 - 12:50 AM

Ah, the old "if" gambit, huh? I guess you think that scares Chongo, do ya? Think again, Roscoe! There is nothing that can scare Chongo Chimp on New Year's Eve night...he's way too drunk to be scared by anything.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Chimp: Kidnapper and Terrorist!
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Jan 12 - 08:34 AM

Well, the poor little monkey escaped and has been rescued. Poor thing is frightened to death, hungry, and was apparently subjected to various psychological tortures.

We'll know all about it soon enough. Frisco's Finest are on the job...and there's a US $5,000 reward.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Chimp: Kidnapper and Terrorist!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 01 Jan 12 - 11:23 AM

"was apparently subjected to various psychological tortures."

They forced it to read old Democratic and Republican campaign literature from the 2008 election!

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Chimp: Kidnapper and Terrorist!
From: Big Al Whittle
Date: 02 Jan 12 - 10:05 AM

with thread titles like that, you should be writing right wing headlines for the Daily Mail.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Chimp: Kidnapper and Terrorist!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Jan 12 - 11:50 AM

Or the Toronto Sun. ;-D (Canada's leading fascist rag.)

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Chimp: Kidnapper and Terrorist!
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Jan 12 - 01:22 PM

I see no reason for wasting money and time on a trial. We know he's guilty of it, and if he's not he's guilty of something else just as bad.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Chimp: Kidnapper and Terrorist!
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Jan 12 - 02:56 PM

Hey, Chong!

3-7-77.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Chimp: Kidnapper and Terrorist!
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 03 Jan 12 - 11:44 AM

I think we need a new shocking headline or two here. How about...

Rapparee: Tort Feaser, Malapropist, and Grave Robber!

or...

Rapparee: Candy-from-a-baby Thief, Raving Gasbag, and Egg-Sucking Hanky-Twister!

- Chongo

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Chimp: Kidnapper and Terrorist!
From: Amos
Date: 03 Jan 12 - 12:47 PM

Oh, puhleeeeze. CHongo does not deserve to ber dignified with a title like "terrorist". Who could he possibly terrify? He's a common criminal, a family-abandoner, a lost soul in the SIxth Circle ofhis own private hell. HE lacks dignity, has no grace, is unhygienic, unkempt, ill-mannered, brutish, slovenly, crude, ill-tempered, unmannered, and degraded among the beings of this planet. Why would anyone want to waste bandwidth on such a declassée reprobate?


A

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Chimp: Kidnapper and Terrorist!
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Jan 12 - 01:27 PM

You;'re right, Amos. I apologize. "Terrorist" is far too good of a title for him.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Chimp: Kidnapper and Terrorist!
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 03 Jan 12 - 02:04 PM

You two are like both ends of a dog that ain't got no head.

You follow me? This mutt has an ass at both ends and can pee on both sides of the sidewalk at the same time, but has a hard time keepin' his balance with two hind legs lifted off the ground! Ook! Ook!

Yer like the Yin and the Yang of Useless. The Alpha and Omega of Stunned. The man and wife of a marriage between garden slugs.

It is a compliment bein' insulted by lowlifes like you, cos it reminds me how much farther my own species has advanced while yers was crawlin' around in the slime.

- Chongo