BS: Festival for twats.

Subject: RE: BS: Festival for twats.
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 31 Aug 13 - 01:02 PM

OK

Let's do a "Build Your Own Questionable Festival."    (Type = genre of music, scene (LARP, steampunk, re-enactors) body/mind/spirit, body modification, posh boors, occult, etc.)

A list to get you started. Add and subtract as you like.

TYPE:
NAME of EVENT:
DATE:
LOCATION:
DESCRIPTION:
ATTRACTIONS:
ARTISTS or SPEAKER/LEADERS:
WORKSHOPS:
FRINGE EVENTS:
SPONSORS:
RETAIL STALLS:
FOOD:
TESTIMONIALS:

Subject: RE: BS: Festival for twats.
From: GUEST,Raggytash
Date: 31 Aug 13 - 08:22 AM

Is this to be held on Orkney?

Subject: RE: BS: Festival for twats.
From: Jack Campin
Date: 30 Aug 13 - 08:27 PM

Can we expect a report on it from Emma Hartley of the appropriately named Glamour Cave?

Subject: RE: BS: Festival for twats.
From: alanabit
Date: 30 Aug 13 - 06:08 AM

I enjoyed that hilarious first post.

Subject: RE: BS: Festival for twats.
From: GUEST
Date: 29 Aug 13 - 06:46 AM

Amazed to discover that the Monsanto Testicle Festival is real!

Subject: RE: BS: Festival for twats.
From: GUEST,Anon
Date: 29 Aug 13 - 04:26 AM

perfect place to meet every accordianist, bagpiper, bodran player and hurdy gurdy owner.

Subject: RE: BS: Festival for twats.
From: Acorn4
Date: 28 Aug 13 - 11:51 AM

Could it be shortened to "TWATFEST"?

Subject: RE: BS: Festival for twats.
From: GUEST
Date: 28 Aug 13 - 09:27 AM

Before clicking on this I thought: If Montana can have its Testicle Festival then why not this?

Subject: RE: BS: Festival for twats.
From: GUEST,Musket evolving slowly
Date: 27 Aug 13 - 03:22 PM

Phew! For a minute there I thought someone was going to define a twat as a pregnant goldfish.

Only twats make that mistake of course.

Been thinking about the songs that would make my set.

Alexie Sayle wrote a finger in the ear number which started, as I recall-

Oh I am a computer programmer
I come from Milton Keynes

Then the rhyme ended with

Dried haricot beans.

Subject: RE: BS: Festival for twats.
From: SINSULL
Date: 27 Aug 13 - 01:58 PM

Blitherscrum should sue. They have been doing this for years...and better.

Subject: RE: BS: Festival for twats.
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 27 Aug 13 - 12:44 PM

Yes, it does have a clear and different meaning in the US. It is the vagina in a sexual sense (versus an anatomical identification) and it also someone who appears to think with their vagina (a recent illustration would be Miley Cyrus, whose performance over the weekend has hit the meme circuit hard. I didn't see it, but how can I miss the illustrations?) I'd qualify this by saying it is sexual, not commercial, so it isn't the same as the slang for prostitution.

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: Festival for twats.
From: GUEST
Date: 27 Aug 13 - 10:25 AM

Another word with (it appears) quite different meanings in British English and US English...

P.

Subject: RE: BS: Festival for twats.
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 27 Aug 13 - 06:44 AM

Reminds me of a (very old) joke about the man flying to the US on 'Trans World Airlines'

Stewardess: "Sir, would you like some of our TWA coffee?:
Man: "No thanks, but I'd like your TWA tea!"

Subject: RE: BS: Festival for twats.
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 27 Aug 13 - 04:24 AM

Just up my street! Mind you, I am a bit disappointed. I thought TWAT was an abbreviation for Tuesday Wednesday And Thursday, so it would be a festival specifically NOT at the weekend so the oiks could not attend.

Maybe I'll start my own...

:D tG

Subject: RE: BS: Festival for twats.
From: Charmion
Date: 26 Aug 13 - 06:13 PM

A "po" face is like that of a person who has caught a whiff from a brimming chamber pot.

Subject: RE: BS: Festival for twats.
From: michaelr
Date: 26 Aug 13 - 03:24 PM

I've always been curious: what exactly does "po-faced" mean?

Subject: RE: BS: Festival for twats.
From: GUEST,Musket nodding
Date: 26 Aug 13 - 02:34 PM

At last! A festival where my carbon fibre guitar will be welcomed rather than sniffed at!

How does one blag one's way onto the guest list? One specialises in appearing in the pseud's marquee, you understand .

Subject: RE: BS: Festival for twats.
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 26 Aug 13 - 02:15 PM

Obviously not heard of the Blitherscrum Folk Festival which has been twat friendly for years!

Subject: RE: BS: Festival for twats.
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 26 Aug 13 - 02:15 PM

Obviously not heard of the Blitherscrum Folk Festival which has been twat friendly for years!

Subject: RE: BS: Festival for twats.
From: GUEST,CS
Date: 26 Aug 13 - 01:53 PM

"It will be a hybrid of Waitrose and The Wicker Man."


Bwwwaaaahaahahahhh!!!

Spot on :D

Subject: RE: BS: Festival for twats.
From: gnu
Date: 26 Aug 13 - 01:47 PM

Heheheee.

Subject: RE: BS: Festival for twats.
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 26 Aug 13 - 01:31 PM

For a laugh. And yes I can recognise some elements of myself in this article.

Subject: BS: Festival for twats.
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 26 Aug 13 - 01:30 PM

http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/society/new-festival-aimed-directly-at-twats-

THE Magic Fox Vintage Smoothie Boutique Urban Forest Pop Up Chill Retreat is to be Britain's first 100 percent twat-friendly festival.

If Alex James is not there it's because he's trapped under one of his own pigs
As the festival-marketing season begins, the organisers of the new event claim to have concocted the ultimate pretentious weekend for utterly dreadful people.

Festival 'curator' Tom Logan said: "My friends and I wanted to create something for ourselves – a right bunch of wealthy jumped-up media twats with a ridiculous sense of entitlement and legions of horrible mop-headed children, all of whom are called Mungo.

"We would probably get punched at Latitude. Honestly, we're that bad.

"Magic Fox Vintage Smoothie Boutique Urban Forest Pop Up Chill Retreat is a combination of all the most annoying, smug, po-faced aspects of festival culture into a smorgasbord of heavily-branded twatness.

"There will be deerstalker hats, depressingly nostalgic 90s dance acts – we'll probably go with Faithless, who are now old enough to be considered ironic – and some fucking thing called The Mystic Dell.

"We've got people with moustaches playing gypsy jazz records on a gramophone while the Wombles perform a burlesque routine, stupid fucking food stalls where you can buy a 'hand-raised' pie with an infantile name, and luxury woodland play areas where horrible designer-clad infants can kick frogs while giggling.

"It will be a hybrid of Waitrose and The Wicker Man.

"Also there will be macaroon biscuits. And people wearing fox masks, just prancing around aimlessly."

He added: "But the Magic Fox Vintage Smoothie Boutique Urban Forest Pop Up Chill Retreat isn't just about twats. There's also plenty for pricks, like a bicycle-power retro puppet eco-show that reworks Punch and Judy as an environmental fable.

"There will be stalls. We don't know what they'll be selling but everything will be a tenner."

Music fan Emma Bradford said: "I'm going to spend that weekend in West London as it will have become temporarily pleasant."