Subject: RE: BS: SongsAToiletWouldSing--Fun--NeedHelp From: Barbara Shaw Date: 12 Feb 14 - 10:38 AM Roll on Muddy River |
Subject: RE: BS: SongsAToiletWouldSing--Fun--NeedHelp From: gnu Date: 12 Feb 14 - 07:16 AM Just arrived from a desperate plea for help on Facebook so I haven't read any posts yet. Riding My Porcelin Pony |
Subject: RE: BS: SongsAToiletWouldSing--Fun--NeedHelp From: gnu Date: 12 Feb 14 - 07:11 AM Refreshed for a buddy on Facebook... so that everyone who looks for it doesn't have to search for it. |
Subject: RE: BS: SongsAToiletWouldSing--Fun--NeedHelp From: Bert Date: 27 Jan 14 - 05:05 PM In Mobile The eagles they fly high in Mobile The eagles they fly high in Mobile The eagles they fly high and they shit right in your eye it's a good job cows don't fly in Mobile in Mobile, in Mobile,in Mo, in Mo, in Mo, in Mobile The eagles they fly high and they shit right in your eye it's a good job cows don't fly in Mobile The seagulls have a lighthouse in Mobile The seagulls have a lighthouse in Mobile The seagulls have a lighthouse and they use it as a shitehouse now it looks just like The Whitehouse There's no paper in the bogs in Mobile There's no paper in the bogs in Mobile There's no paper in the bogs so they sit there 'till it clogs and they saw it into logs There's a shortage of good whores in Mobile There's a shortage of good whores in Mobile There's a shortage of good whores but there's keyholes in the doors and there's knotholes in the floors |
Subject: RE: BS: SongsAToiletWouldSing--Fun--NeedHelp From: Jack the Sailor Date: 27 Jan 14 - 03:49 PM Poo Poo Pee Do! |
Subject: RE: BS: SongsAToiletWouldSing--Fun--NeedHelp From: Peter the Squeezer Date: 27 Jan 14 - 03:14 PM The only one that comes to my mind is from Paul McCartney - "We all stand together", otherwise known as ... THE BOG SONG |
Subject: RE: BS: SongsAToiletWouldSing--Fun--NeedHelp From: catspaw49 Date: 27 Jan 14 - 01:25 PM I'm going to print this one now for the plumber this week. I want to thank all of you for your "contributions" here. Y'all have been squeezing them out and though a few run on they are all appropriately stench ridden! Spaw |
Subject: RE: BS: SongsAToiletWouldSing--Fun--NeedHelp From: GUEST,Triplane Date: 27 Jan 14 - 02:23 AM "Just a pong in't toilet when the lights are low" from Loves Old Sweet Song or the final solution by SS Shiel;dhall |
Subject: RE: BS: SongsAToiletWouldSing--Fun--NeedHelp From: Bert Date: 27 Jan 14 - 01:54 AM Here 'tiz. Muckspreading Time (as sung by The Yetties) There be some like the smell of the violets in spring, Or the sweet new mown hay when the lark's on the wing, But the sweetest to I, be the smells that do climb, Up in to the breeze ev'ry muckspreading time. Chorus: Muck spreading time, Muck spreading time, Ev'ry thing's fragrant at muck spreading time. For 'twere muck spreadin time when I first met with Sue, And showed her the barn and a hay rick or two, She were hotter than harvest and quicker than lime, Cos passions in season at muck spreadin time. Our courtin went on like a hay rick afire, Till we came to the day that her parents desired, The wedding was lovely, I felt in me prime, And suzy looked full of beans last muck spreadin time. He choir was all there and our chosen hymns sung, The ringers turned out and the bells they went dung, Even the vicar forgot for to mime, When i wedded sweet Sue last much spreadin time. Now Suzy's as busy as busy can be, With two little muck spreaders, one for each knee, & if we works through the season and things turn out fine, We'll make it a foursome by muck spreadin time I found the lyrics here a great collection |
Subject: RE: BS: SongsAToiletWouldSing--Fun--NeedHelp From: Bert Date: 27 Jan 14 - 01:21 AM Didn't The Yetties sing a song abot "Muck Spreading Time"? |
Subject: RE: BS: SongsAToiletWouldSing--Fun--NeedHelp From: Bert Date: 27 Jan 14 - 12:58 AM Manura Manyah copyright 1964 Matt McGinn CHO: Wi' manyura manyah, wi' manyura manyah! Wi' manyura, manyura, manyura manyah! Noo I've heard men complain of the jobs they are dain, When they're hawking the coal, or diggin' the drain. But whatever they are, there is none that compare Wi manyura, manyura, manyura manyah! The streets of the toon were all kivvered aroon Wi' stuff that was pure and gowden and broon, It was put there, of course, by a big Clydesdale horse! And they called it manyura, manyura manyah! I followed its track wi a shovel and sack, And as often as no wi a pain in me back. It was all for the rent, and the wonderful scent Of manyura, manyura, manyura manyah! But I'm feelin gae sore for my job's taken o'er And everything noo is mechanical power And there's naught left for me but the sweet memory Of manyura, manyura, manyura manyah! |
Subject: RE: BS: SongsAToiletWouldSing--Fun--NeedHelp From: JennieG Date: 26 Jan 14 - 04:28 PM "There goes my only possession........ There goes my everything!" |
Subject: RE: BS: SongsAToiletWouldSing--Fun--NeedHelp From: Jim Carroll Date: 26 Jan 14 - 09:45 AM Used to be a parody of a song called 'September in the Rain" in Liverpool in the sixties - can only remember "The bits of brown came tumbling down I remember, I remember, Before I pulled the chain." Jim Carrll |
Subject: RE: BS: SongsAToiletWouldSing--Fun--NeedHelp From: Bert Date: 26 Jan 14 - 03:42 AM A penny a kiss. |
Subject: RE: BS: SongsAToiletWouldSing--Fun--NeedHelp From: Barbara Shaw Date: 25 Jan 14 - 09:46 AM Puff the Magic Dragon Please Release Me Little Black Train a'Comin |
Subject: RE: BS: SongsAToiletWouldSing--Fun--NeedHelp From: Rapparee Date: 24 Jan 14 - 10:03 AM This toilet fails to flush ever Monday morning, So we buy a plunger in the afternoon (apologies to PP&M) All God's chillun got a place in the choir Some go low and some go higher Some take a crap on the telephone wire And some sit and clap their hams, oh! In Mountjoy Jail, one Monday morning, Kevin Berry had to pee Storm along, drive along, punch it out your ribs This porcelain thrones a-waitin' It'll take all you can give.... |
Subject: RE: BS: SongsAToiletWouldSing--Fun--NeedHelp From: Roger the Skiffler Date: 24 Jan 14 - 05:44 AM I see the moon RtS What have you started, Spaw! |
Subject: RE: BS: SongsAToiletWouldSing--Fun--NeedHelp From: Roger the Skiffler Date: 23 Jan 14 - 09:20 AM Harry Limescale theme from the Turd Man RtS |
Subject: RE: BS: SongsAToiletWouldSing--Fun--NeedHelp From: GUEST,Roger the cookieless skiffler Date: 23 Jan 14 - 06:27 AM Crap lands, here comes turdy RtS (I'll get me plunger) |
Subject: RE: BS: SongsAToiletWouldSing--Fun--NeedHelp From: Big Al Whittle Date: 23 Jan 14 - 05:52 AM can't leave it languishing on that old thread - Ladies and Gentlemen - the genius of Sydney Carter - gentleman, Quaker and Bitish eccentric - a tricky mix! DOWN BELOW © Sydney Carter, 1958 When you're working in the dark, Down below, Underneath St James's Park, Down below. When you're working in the dark. Oh, it isn't half a lark, When you're working in the dark, Down below. It isn't hard to tell, Down below. If it's Bow or Clerkenwell, Down below, For Bow and Clerkenwell Have a diff'rent kind of smell And we know it very well, Down below. Over Covent Garden way, Down below. In the merry month of May, Down below. The fragrance of the flow'rs Gives us many happy hours And we sing a roundelay Down below. The objects that we find Down below Help to entertain the mind Down below. There are watches we can't wind Wrapped up in bacon rind And that isn't all you find Down below. When you're under Floral Street, Down below, With the water 'round your feet, Down below. 'Mid the cabbages and beet You may find a marguerite, And the thought is very sweet, Down below. Hatton Garden is a spot Down below. Where we like to go a lot, Down below. Since a bloke in Leather Lane Dropp'd a diamond down the drain We've been waiting, but in vain, Down below. When to Billingsgate we come, Down below. When to Billingsgate we come, Down below. When to Billingsgate we come Then things begin to hum And we wish we'd never come Down below. There is something in a sewer Down below. That has a strange allure Down below. The magic of the drains Is a thing you can't explain But it's calling us again Down below. |
Subject: RE: BS: SongsAToiletWouldSing--Fun--NeedHelp From: Roger the Skiffler Date: 23 Jan 14 - 04:46 AM ...and a religious toilet might sing: Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the turd RtS |
Subject: RE: BS: SongsAToiletWouldSing--Fun--NeedHelp From: Roger the Skiffler Date: 23 Jan 14 - 04:45 AM Mississippi Sheiks: Sitting on top of the Turd Sweet Violets ("They say that your father's a muckman...") Flush the Magic Toilet Big John Sixteen Turds Wee Willie Winkie Wee Wee Wee Deleelah The biggest floating crap turd in new York RtS |
Subject: RE: BS: SongsAToiletWouldSing--Fun--NeedHelp From: Nigel Parsons Date: 23 Jan 14 - 03:47 AM The Sydney Carter song mentioned above is "Down Below" and can be found in the thread Sewer Songs which has nothing to do with needlecraft, but does include some other worthy songs. Cheers |
Subject: RE: BS: SongsAToiletWouldSing--Fun--NeedHelp From: Bert Date: 23 Jan 14 - 03:09 AM A little bit of thread drift. Assholes are cheap today cheaper than yesterday little boys are half a crown standing up or lying down bigger boys are three and six 'cos they're for bigger pricks assholes are cheap, are very cheap today |
Subject: RE: BS: SongsAToiletWouldSing--Fun--NeedHelp From: Amos Date: 23 Jan 14 - 12:08 AM Toot-toot-tootsie, goodbye! There was a fine line at the end of one version of the Tattooed Lady, that asserted "Whenever she sits down, she sits on me!" "You got to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em Know when to walk real slow, and know when to run..." Songs a toilet would sing? That's a real conundrum, innit. "Oh the world goes round in circles like a crazy ferris wheel, ANd its good to know there's a place to go when the pressures get too real. Where you leave what's left of oatmeal or a chocolate ice cream cone, When you're old enough to do it on your own." APologies to Al Grierson... |
Subject: RE: BS: SongsAToiletWouldSing--Fun--NeedHelp From: Janie Date: 22 Jan 14 - 09:57 PM Oh lordy me, didn't I sh*t sugaree Everything I got is done and flushed. |
Subject: RE: BS: SongsAToiletWouldSing--Fun--NeedHelp From: Rapparee Date: 22 Jan 14 - 09:33 PM "This Way To Heaven" by Big As Zeppelins "Constipation...hurts my heart Constipation...keeps us apart Why torture me...?" "There's No Business Like Bowel Business" "Blowin' Out Some Wind" "There's NO paper like NO paper..." |
Subject: RE: BS: SongsAToiletWouldSing--Fun--NeedHelp From: Big Al Whittle Date: 22 Jan 14 - 07:13 PM does anyone remember that song John Foreman song _ I think it may have been a Sidney Carter song - about the sewers |
Subject: RE: BS: SongsAToiletWouldSing--Fun--NeedHelp From: GUEST,Loo Read Date: 22 Jan 14 - 06:45 PM Diarrhoea, I just got a dose of diarrhoea And suddenly that name, will never be the same to me. Diarrhoea, say it loud and your friends go rushing, Say it soft, you can hear cisterns flushing Diarrhoea, will I ever stop going, diarrhoea All the horrible sounds of the arse in a single pharrrrrrrrrrrppp Diarrhoea, diarrhoea, diarrhoea. |
Subject: RE: BS: SongsAToiletWouldSing--Fun--NeedHelp From: Genie Date: 22 Jan 14 - 05:01 PM Black Water? Urge For Goin' |
Subject: RE: BS: SongsAToiletWouldSing--Fun--NeedHelp From: JohnInKansas Date: 22 Jan 14 - 11:58 AM Lehrer's "I Got It From Agnes" might make a fair potty parody with a few adjustments? John |
Subject: RE: BS: SongsAToiletWouldSing--Fun--NeedHelp From: GUEST,Celtaddict Date: 22 Jan 14 - 11:51 AM I'm Forever Blowing Bubbles. |
Subject: RE: BS: SongsAToiletWouldSing--Fun--NeedHelp From: Nigel Parsons Date: 22 Jan 14 - 11:08 AM Or, anither constipation song by F R David ... "Turds don't come easy" |
Subject: RE: BS: SongsAToiletWouldSing--Fun--NeedHelp From: Rapparee Date: 22 Jan 14 - 10:16 AM "Round and around and around we go again, Makin' with the flooding to and fro again...." How about "It's a long way to Tipperary"? "Come landlord, we've filled the flowing bowl Until it did run over..." "Somewhere between your moon and New York City" "I did it MY way" |
Subject: RE: BS: SongsAToiletWouldSing--Fun--NeedHelp From: JennieG Date: 22 Jan 14 - 06:49 AM How about the old adage "one good turd deserves another"? Is that in any known song? |
Subject: RE: BS: SongsAToiletWouldSing--Fun--NeedHelp From: GUEST,Eliza Date: 22 Jan 14 - 06:38 AM As it will soon be Robert Burns Night, how about his song, "See the smoking bowl before us..." |
Subject: RE: BS: SongsAToiletWouldSing--Fun--NeedHelp From: Big Al Whittle Date: 22 Jan 14 - 06:35 AM should be above the line |
Subject: RE: BS: SongsAToiletWouldSing--Fun--NeedHelp From: Nigel Parsons Date: 22 Jan 14 - 06:14 AM For those with long memories, migh I suggest: "Black Bottom" (Temperance Seven) |
Subject: RE: BS: SongsAToiletWouldSing--Fun--NeedHelp From: GUEST,Black belt caterpillar wrestler Date: 22 Jan 14 - 05:53 AM I'll fathom the bowl. Also John Kirkpatrick's "Belinda Brown" relates the events that happen when a mobile phone is dropped in the toilet. |
Subject: RE: BS: SongsAToiletWouldSing--Fun--NeedHelp From: Mo the caller Date: 22 Jan 14 - 03:55 AM It's definately 3 old ladies, the other 37 are in the queue. How about the one that infantclasses sing before playtime? Hey, hey, skip to my loo. |
Subject: RE: BS: SongsAToiletWouldSing--Fun--NeedHelp From: Nigel Parsons Date: 22 Jan 14 - 03:51 AM There's the classic song of universal constipation, as sung by THE KING: ... "We're taut in a crap" Uh-uh! Or numerous possibilities in this Song Challenge Cheers (or should that be 'bottoms up'?) Nigel |
Subject: RE: BS: SongsAToiletWouldSing--Fun--NeedHelp From: ClaireBear Date: 22 Jan 14 - 12:43 AM How about that song from my youth whose chorus I always hear as "There's a bathroom on the right!"? |
Subject: RE: BS: SongsAToiletWouldSing--Fun--NeedHelp From: Bill D Date: 21 Jan 14 - 11:08 PM "Ode to the Little Brown Shack Out Back" Yep..I sing that. Written by Billy Ed Wheeler. |
Subject: RE: BS: SongsAToiletWouldSing--Fun--NeedHelp From: Bert Date: 21 Jan 14 - 08:50 PM They say there's a poop ship just leaving Bombay... |
Subject: RE: BS: SongsAToiletWouldSing--Fun--NeedHelp From: olddude Date: 21 Jan 14 - 08:42 PM the answer my friend is blowing in the wind |
Subject: RE: BS: SongsAToiletWouldSing--Fun--NeedHelp From: olddude Date: 21 Jan 14 - 08:40 PM How many turds must a man flush down before you call him a man ..... |
Subject: RE: BS: SongsAToiletWouldSing--Fun--NeedHelp From: Jack the Sailor Date: 21 Jan 14 - 04:42 PM This guy puts the number at seven. |
Subject: RE: BS: SongsAToiletWouldSing--Fun--NeedHelp From: JohnInKansas Date: 21 Jan 14 - 03:16 PM A sort of well known one: "Little Brown Shack Out Back" a.k.a. "Ode to the Little Brown Shack Out Back" and a few other variants. My music index says it's in Sing Your Heart Out, Country Boy, Dorothy Horstman, Country Music Foundation, ISBN 0-915608-19-7, but I have no idea which pile that book's in. John |
Subject: RE: BS: SongsAToiletWouldSing--Fun--NeedHelp From: Bill D Date: 21 Jan 14 - 02:32 PM Here's one of dozens of versions of this: Crab Song (Collected by MacEdward Leach) Good morning, Mr. Devil, morning, sir, he said, Whack fol the didlle-o the diddle-i-day; You've got a crab which you'll sell unto me, To me all whack fol-de-diddle-i-dee. I got a crab fish one, two, three, Whack fol the didlle-o the diddle-i-day; And the fattest of the three I will sell unto thee, To thee all whack fol-de-diddle-i-dee. Jack took the fattest by the backbone, Whack fol the didlle-o the diddle-i-day; Like a damn fool came swigging on the rum, To me all whack fol-de-diddle-i-dee. And when he got home for the want of a dish, Whack fol the didlle-o the diddle-i-day; Put him in the pot where the woman had to piss, To me all whack fol-de-diddle-i-dee. The woman got up and she did want, Whack fol the didlle-o the diddle-i-day; Crab fish caught on by the you-know-what, To me all whack fol-de-diddle-i-dee. Old man, old man, now do you come hither, Whack fol the didlle-o the diddle-i-day; Devil's in the pisspot tearing up your lover, To me all whack fol-de-diddle-i-dee. The man came peeping, as I suppose, Whack fol the didlle-o the diddle-i-day; Crab with his other claw caught him by the nose, To me all whack fol-de-diddle-i-dee. Run, boys, run get the looking glass, Whack fol the didlle-o the diddle-i-day; See your daddy's nose stuck up mommy's ass, To me all whack fol-de-diddle-i-dee. One got the poker, other got the stick, Whack fol the didlle-o the diddle-i-day; More they beat the crab fish, tighter held his grip, To me all whack fol-de-diddle-i-dee. |
Subject: RE: BS: SongsAToiletWouldSing--Fun--NeedHelp From: GUEST,Eliza Date: 21 Jan 14 - 02:31 PM Thank you Bert. It seems old ladies are hanging round toilets quite a bit these days. I must be missing out! |