Amsterdam comes to the Góilín

Subject: Amsterdam comes to the Góilín
From: Fergie
Date: 19 Oct 14 - 07:10 AM

If you want a good laugh this song from Gerry O'Reilly is well worth a listen. The Amsterdam Song. Explore the Góilín Song Project courtesy of ITMA it is a fantastic resource for anybody interested in traditional singing and song.

Fergus

Subject: RE: Amsterdam comes to the Góilín
From: MartinRyan
Date: 19 Oct 14 - 07:19 AM

That's "the Real Gerry O'Reilly", of course! One of the great comic songs.

The Góilín Song Project is is indeed a great resource - and will be even better as more material is added.

Regards

Subject: RE: Amsterdam comes to the Góilín
From: michaelr
Date: 19 Oct 14 - 12:52 PM

Please, can someone post the lyrics? I can't make out half of them, but they appear to be hilarious. The tune is of course Barney Rush's "The Crack was 90 in the Isle of Man".

Is the singer Jerry O'Reilly, he of Down from your Pulpits, Down from your Thrones?

Subject: RE: Amsterdam comes to the Góilín
From: MartinRyan
Date: 19 Oct 14 - 01:32 PM

I'll see if I can find the lyrics...

No - this is the Góilín's OTHER Gerry O'Reilly!

Click here

Regards

Subject: RE: Amsterdam comes to the Góilín
From: Fergie
Date: 19 Oct 14 - 04:03 PM

BTW. Barney Rush passed away just a few weeks ago.

Fergus

Subject: RE: Amsterdam comes to the Góilín
From: michaelr
Date: 19 Oct 14 - 08:58 PM

Thanks Fergie. RIP Barney.

Subject: RE: Amsterdam comes to the Góilín
From: GUEST,Dot Callery
Date: 20 Oct 14 - 06:14 AM

Hi Fergus

I look forward to hearing it again on the Goilin Song Project. A great resource - thanks to those who made it possible. Gerry O'Reilly actually wrote out the words for me many years ago. If I find them I'll post them up.

I'm so sorry to hear about Barney's recent death. He was a fine singer and songwriter and great company. One of nature's gentlemen. Condolences to his family.
~ Dot ~

Subject: RE: Amsterdam comes to the Góilín
From: Rumncoke
Date: 20 Oct 14 - 08:02 AM

I can make out some of it at the start

Oh way way back when the times were free
We all headed off on a little spree
And we ended up in the Nederlands
Waving shiny new pasports in our hands
At Chepol airport they wished us luck
Myself young Denny(?) O'Guire and the Stud(?)
And we took the train to our destination
Amsterdam Central Station
We got advice on the Flying Dutchman
You're going to see some hairy sights in Amsterdam

Subject: RE: Amsterdam comes to the Góilín
From: GUEST,Peter Laban
Date: 20 Oct 14 - 08:06 AM

Chepol = Schiphol

Subject: RE: Amsterdam comes to the Góilín
From: MartinRyan
Date: 20 Oct 14 - 08:37 AM

Need to be careful transcribing this one - there's a good deal of Dublin slang buried in it - not to mention Gerry's accent!

Regards

Subject: RE: Amsterdam comes to the Góilín
From: MartinRyan
Date: 20 Oct 14 - 08:45 AM

For example: the nickname in the first verse is "The Scut", rather than "The Stud". A "scut" is a mildly derogatory general description of someone - probably from its older meaning as the tail of a rabbit or hare. ("scut" also exists as a verb - but that's a different story).

I know there are plans to provide transcriptions of all the songs in The Góilín Song Project eventually - but we can't wait that long, can we? ;>)>

Regards

Subject: RE: Amsterdam comes to the Góilín
From: Rumncoke
Date: 20 Oct 14 - 01:59 PM

OK verse two - I'm fairly certain the rhyme is hurry and brewery

So we stood outside of the central station
here we are at our destination (?)
this is where they make real gin
you're welcome to the city of sin
I said what are we doing standing here
Let's go and try the local beer
Se we headed of in a hurry
Down to Freddie Heineken's brewery
Free beer for every man
We got pissed out of our brains in Amsterdam

Subject: RE: Amsterdam comes to the Góilín
From: MartinRyan
Date: 20 Oct 14 - 02:04 PM

Spot on...

Regards

Subject: RE: Amsterdam comes to the Góilín
From: Rumncoke
Date: 20 Oct 14 - 02:53 PM

Verse 3

So Denny went looking for a place to stay
Down by a canal we made our way
when she stepped out of the night
She gave myself and the lads one hell of a fright
She said Jane Bondage is my name
and if you like you can play my game
I can tie you up or I can tie you down
Or I can whip you all around the town
Said she I love an Irish man
Oh there were some rough women in the city of Amsterdam

Subject: RE: Amsterdam comes to the Góilín
From: MartinRyan
Date: 20 Oct 14 - 03:38 PM

Meant to say... In the first verse, the tour party is identified as "Meself, young Dinny O'Dwyer and The Scut"!

Regards

Subject: RE: Amsterdam comes to the Góilín
From: Fergie
Date: 20 Oct 14 - 04:14 PM

Good man yerself Rumncoke. MartinRyan will keep you on track with his bits of intelligence and I'll keep an eye on Martin to make sure it's the right track.

Fergus

Subject: RE: Amsterdam comes to the Góilín
From: Rumncoke
Date: 20 Oct 14 - 09:20 PM

Stuck on verse 4

The first two lines I am fairly sure are

Well we thought that we might as well have a go
Ah sure we're on holiday and who the hell would know?

then there's a bit about handcuffed before but by the police

But this was different altogether
Because Jane was togged up all in leather
And she beat us with this bamboo cane
Until we couldn't stand the pain
She was a rough madam
??

Subject: RE: Amsterdam comes to the Góilín
From: Fergie
Date: 20 Oct 14 - 10:28 PM

Well we thought that we might as well have a go
Ah sure we're on holiday and who the hell would know?
It was only an auld beating, we knew the score
As we'd all been handcuffed before, (Gerry ad libs "by the police I'll have ye know")
But this was different altogether
Because Jane was togged up all in leather
And she beat us with this bamboo cane
Until we couldn't stand the pain
She was a rough madam
The roughest on the (w)hole in Amsterdam.

Subject: RE: Amsterdam comes to the Góilín
From: Fergie
Date: 20 Oct 14 - 10:41 PM

Oh way, way back when the times were free
We all headed off on a little spree
And we ended up in the Netherlands
Waving shiny new passports in our hands
At Schiphol airport they wished us luck
Myself, young Dinny, O'Dwyer and the Scut
And we took the train to our destination
Amsterdam Central Station
Begob! there's a Flying Dutchman
You're going to see some hairy sights in Amsterdam.

Subject: RE: Amsterdam comes to the Góilín
From: Fergie
Date: 20 Oct 14 - 10:50 PM

Your doing good Rumncoke

Verse 2

So we stood outside of the central station
Here we are now the guests of the nation
This is where they make real gin
You're welcome to the city of sin
I said what are we doing standing here
Let's go and try the local beer
So we headed of in a hurry
Down to Freddie Heineken's brewery
Free beer for every man
We got pissed out of our brains in Amsterdam.

Subject: RE: Amsterdam comes to the Góilín
From: Fergie
Date: 20 Oct 14 - 10:55 PM

Verse 3

So then went looking for a place to stay
Down by a canal we made our way
When she stepped out of the night
She gave myself and the lads one hell of a fright
She said Jane Bondage is my name
and if you like you can play my game
I can tie you up and I can tie you down
Or I can whip you all around the town
Said she I'd love an Irish man
Oh there were some rough women in the city of Amsterdam

Subject: RE: Amsterdam comes to the Góilín
From: Rumncoke
Date: 21 Oct 14 - 04:53 AM

Ah - when you see it written it becomes clearer what you were hearing

Verse 4
Well we took our punishment like real men
and Jane she hit us again and again
She had stripped down to a leather shammy
O'Dwyer was screaming for his mammy
She ??
?? badly cut
Poor Dinny was lying by the door
He said he couldn't take no more
So we grabbed our clothes and we ran
Bam bam thank you Ma'am in Amsterdam

Verse 5

So we ran into a little café
For a cup of black coffee wouldn't go astray
And we ordered up a tray of buns
A black forest gateau and a dozen scones
Well ?? upon my soul
When ?? we lost control
Whatever it was it was worse than the beer
So I asked the man is the food in here something queer
Ant he said they're hash cakes, God damn
We was off our brains in Amsterdam

Subject: RE: Amsterdam comes to the Góilín
From: Fergie
Date: 21 Oct 14 - 10:57 AM

Keep going Rumncoke

Verse 4
Well we took our punishment like real men
And Jane she hit us again and again
She had stripped down to a leather chamois
O'Dwyer was screaming for his mammy
She tore into myself and the Scut
We were bruised and we were badly cut
Poor Dinny was lying by the door
He said he couldn't take no more
So we grabbed our clothes and we ran
Wham bam thank you Ma'am, in Amsterdam

Verse 5

So we ran into a little café
For a cup of black coffee wouldn't go astray
And we ordered up a tray of buns
A black forest gateau and a dozen scones
Well ?? upon my soul
We were in the horrors we'd lost control
Whatever it was it was worse than the beer
So I asked the man is the food here sort of queer
He said they're hash cakes, God damn
We were stoned out of our brains in Amsterdam

Subject: RE: Amsterdam comes to the Góilín
From: Rumncoke
Date: 21 Oct 14 - 12:43 PM

Verse 6

So next we went off window shopping
Down the red light district and our eyes were popping
When smack in the middle of our little tour
Out of this doorway came this - 'sweet little so-n-so'
Hey Paddy just you step in here
There's lots of ladies and there's loads of beer
So we took his word and we all crawled in
To a club that was called the Original Sin
Oh ??? in Amsterdam

The rhyme for tour would be whore - but it sounds like 'took his word', not her.

Subject: RE: Amsterdam comes to the Góilín
From: Fergie
Date: 21 Oct 14 - 01:52 PM

Gerry wouldn't be adverse to using the word whore in the Góilín, but some might object to the word as not being PC, so he stuck in "so-n-so" for comic effect because everybody is expecting him to say whore.

Verse 6

So next we went off window shopping
Down the red light district and our eyes were popping
When smack in the middle of our little tour
Out of this doorway came this - sleazy little so-n-so'
Hey Paddy just you step in here
There's lots of ladies and there's loads of beer
So we took his word and we all crawled in
To a club that was called the Original Sin
Oh, there's hardly a stitch on your one
Oh god between us and all harm in Amsterdam.

Subject: RE: Amsterdam comes to the Góilín
From: Rumncoke
Date: 21 Oct 14 - 04:39 PM

Sleazy? I don't hear that at all - but hey - it fits.

I can't make out very much after verse 6 - anyone else want to try to reveal what happens in the club?

Subject: RE: Amsterdam comes to the Góilín
From: Fergie
Date: 21 Oct 14 - 05:07 PM

Verse 7

So we sat there lowering the grog
Trying hard not to look like four men from the bog
When this swanky bit of stuff sat on Dinny's knee
She'd a voice that was deeper than a Seanachaí
Well this lovely bit of stuff whispered in my ear
Do you come here often, will you buy me a beer?
The Scut was out dancing on the floor
With this sexy little number from Singapore
Say O'Dwyer that's no woman it's a man
We were all in a state of shock in Amsterdam.

Subject: RE: Amsterdam comes to the Góilín
From: michaelr
Date: 21 Oct 14 - 06:39 PM

Thank you! Funny song.

Subject: RE: Amsterdam comes to the Góilín
From: Fergie
Date: 21 Oct 14 - 07:58 PM

On of the funniest ever michaelr.

Verse 8

So I turned to the "quare wan" sitting next to me
I said now love tell me are you a he or a she
Or are you a lady of the night?
Not at all says your wan I'm a transvestite
So I up and I gave him the Kildare man's salute
I rapped him gently with my hobnail boots
Right up between the legs
Nearly drove the boot through the poor fella's head.
Saying take that my good man,
Oh the women are worse than the men in Amsterdam

Subject: RE: Amsterdam comes to the Góilín
From: Fergie
Date: 21 Oct 14 - 08:13 PM

Verse 9

So we all regrouped out on the dance floor
For we knew we'd have to run the gauntlet to the door
When this lanky fellow took such a kick from O'Dwyer
Now he's singing boy soprano in the local choir
Then the Skut pulled his false teeth out
And he gave this male stripper such a woeful clout
But this big fellow in drag he grabbed the Scut
But the Scut decked yer man with a huge head butt
Be said take that my good man
There was confusion everywhere in Amsterdam.

Subject: RE: Amsterdam comes to the Góilín
From: Fergie
Date: 21 Oct 14 - 08:26 PM

Verse 10

But then poor Dinny got attacked from the rear
By this bit of stuff wearing kinky gear
There were boots and belts and bull whips cracking
Poor Dinny was taking one hell of a whacking
Yer one she was going in for the kill
But our Dinny showed his true skill
He grabbed yer woman by the g-string
Gave it half a dozen twists till her ears did ring
Oh she'll hardly ride a bicycle again
It brought tears to her eyes that night in Amsterdam

Subject: RE: Amsterdam comes to the Góilín
From: Fergie
Date: 21 Oct 14 - 08:37 PM

Verse 11

Well then out of nowhere there appeared
All dressed in rubber, it was weird
There were rubber suits and rubber flippers
Rubber masks tied up with zippers
They made a run for O'Dwyer and the Skut
But the Skut was fast he grabbed yer man by the nuts
He was swinging the rubber man around the floor
O'Dwyer did the same to the other dirty so-n-so.
They wiped the floor with the two rubber men
They went weak at the knees that night in Amsterdam.

Subject: RE: Amsterdam comes to the Góilín
From: Fergie
Date: 21 Oct 14 - 08:49 PM

Verse 12

Well we finally battled our way out to the street
We looked kinda rough, but we were still on our feet
Then Dinny called for the money back
I tell you now boys that was the craic
We could hear the sirens getting near
So we said we'd better leg it out of there
And we disappeared into the night
Being pursued by a gang of hermaphrodites
Made our escape on the number seven tram
Oh we won the day that night in Amsterdam
We got into a little fight in Amsterdam
We were pursued by men wearing tights in Amsterdam
We gave them all a fright in Amsterdam

Subject: RE: Amsterdam comes to the Góilín
From: Rumncoke
Date: 22 Oct 14 - 08:11 PM

oh my - now it is playing in my head like a filum so it is.

Subject: RE: Amsterdam comes to the Góilín
From: AmyLove
Date: 25 May 17 - 06:00 PM

Just to put all the lyrics together. (I made some minor changes.) I'm sure the line "They wiped the floor with the two rubber men" isn't quite correct, but I didn't figure it out.


Oh way, way back when times were free
We all headed off on a little spree
And we ended up in the Netherlands
Waving shiny new passports in our hands
At Schiphol airport they wished us luck
Meself, young Dinny O'Dwyer and The Scut
And we took the train to our destination
Amsterdam Central Station
Begob! there's a Flying Dutchman
You're goin' to see some hairy sights in Amsterdam.

So we stood outside of the central station
Here we are now the guests of the nation
This is where they make real gin
You're welcome to the city of sin
I says what are we doin' standin' here
Let's go and try the local beer
So we headed off in a hurry
Down to Freddie Heineken's brewery
Free beer for every man
We got pissed out of our brains in Amsterdam.

So then went lookin' for a place to stay
Down by a canal we made our way
When she stepped out of the night
She gave meself and the lads one hell of a fright
She said Jane Bondage is me name
and if you like you can play me game
I can tie you up and I can tie you down
Or I can whip you all around this town
Says she I'd love an Irish man
Oh there were some rough women in the city of Amsterdam

Well we thought we might as well have a go
Sure we're on holiday and who the hell would know?
It's only an auld beatin', we knew the score
As we'd all been handcuffed before, (Gerry ad libs "by the police I'll have ye know")
But this was different altogether
Because Jane was togged up all in leather
And she bet us with this bamboo cane
Until we couldn't stand the pain
She was a rough madam
The roughest on the (w)hole in Amsterdam.

Well we took our punishment like real men
And Jane she hit us again and again
She had stripped down to a leather chamois
O'Dwyer was screamin' for his mammy
She tore into meself and The Scut
We were bruised and we were badly cut
Poor Dinny was lyin' by the door
He said he couldn't take no more
So we grabbed our clothes and we ran
Wham bam thank you Ma'am, in Amsterdam

So we ran into a little café
For a cup of black coffee wouldn't go astray
And we ordered up a tray of buns
A black forest gateau and a dozen scones
Well I declare upon my soul
We were in the horrors we'd lost control
Whatever it was it was worse than the beer
So I asked your man is the food here sorta queer
He said they're hash cakes, God damn
We were stoned out of our brains in Amsterdam

So next we went for a little window shoppin'
Down the red light district and our eyes were poppin'
When smack in the middle of our little tour
Out of this doorway came this - sleazy little so-n-so'
He said hey Paddy you just step in here
There's lots of ladies and there's loads of beer
So we took his word and we all crawled in
To a club that was called The Original Sin
Oh, there's hardly a stitch on your one
God between us and all harm in Amsterdam.

So we sat there lowerin' the grog
Trying hard not to look like four men from the bog
When this swanky bit of stuff sat on Dinny's knee
She'd a voice that was deeper than a Seanachaí
Well this lovely bit of stuff she whispered in me ear
Do you come here often, will you buy me a beer?
The Scut was out dancin' on the floor
With this sexy little number from Singapore
Says O'Dwyer that's no woman it's a man
We were all in a state of shock in Amsterdam.

So I turned to the "quare wan" sittin' next to me
I said now love tell me are you a he or a she
Or are you a lady of the night?
Not at all says your wan I'm a transvestite
So I up and I gave him the Kildare man's salute
I rapped him gently with my hobnail boots
Right up between the legs
Nearly drove the boot through the poor fella's head.
Sayin' take that my good man,
Oh the women are worse than the men in Amsterdam

So we all regrouped on the dance floor
For we knew we'd have to run the gauntlet to the door
When this lanky fellow took such a kick from O'Dwyer
Now he's singin' boy soprano in the local choir
Then The Scut pulls his false teeth out
And he gave this male stripper a woeful clout
But this big fella in drag he grabbed The Scut
But The Scut decked yer man with a huge head butt
He said take that my good man
There was confusion everywhere in Amsterdam.

But then poor Dinny got attacked from the rear
By this bit of stuff wearin' kinky gear
There were boots and belts and bull whips crackin'
Poor Dinny was takin' one hell of a whackin'
Yer one she was going in for the kill
But our Dinny showed his true skill
He grabbed yer woman by the g-string
Gave it half a dozen twists till her ears did ring
Oh she'll hardly ride a bicycle again
It brought tears to her eyes that night in Amsterdam

Well then out of nowhere they appeared
All dressed in rubber, and it was weird
They wore rubber suits and rubber flippers
Rubber masks tied up with zippers
They made a run for O'Dwyer and The Scut
But The Scut was fast he grabbed yer man by the nuts
He was swingin' the rubber man around the floor
O'Dwyer did the same to the other dirty so-n-so.
They wiped the floor with the two rubber men
They were weak in the knees that night in Amsterdam.

Well we finally battled our way out to the street
We looked kinda rough, but we were still on our feet
Then Dinny called for the money back
I tell you now boys that was the craic
We could hear the sirens gettin' near
So we said we'd better leg it out of there
And we disappeared into the night
Pursued by a gang of hermaphrodites
Made our escape on the number seven tram
Oh we won the day that night in Amsterdam
We got into a little fight in Amsterdam
We were pursued by men wearin' tights in Amsterdam
We gave them all a fright in Amsterdam