BS: Rap for emperor

Subject: Rap for Emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Sep 23 - 07:42 PM

Imperial Torturer: If you are using the Binary numerical system, We find that are but eight (8) utilizing Our services. As We are certain you are aware, that would be 3E8 in hexadecimal.

In either case, you are being rewarded for your outstanding service to Us. Details will follow.

Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex       ®    His mark

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Oct 23 - 09:21 PM

My People! Today was the birthday of Our beloved consort. We shan't tell her age as that might cause her dismay, but We are approved to state that she is younger than the mountains. We had a very nice dejeuner at which some excellent wine was served. Certain louts who couldn't keep their voices down have been dealt with by Our guards and We doubt that they will again do such a thing.

To celebrate this auspicious occasion We have determined that this day shall be tax exempt except for those in the Imperial oubliette, who shall have the taxes they may owe doubled unless it would cause hardship for their immediate family. We are just but merciful.

Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex         ®    His Mark

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: JennieG
Date: 12 Oct 23 - 02:25 AM

Natal felicitations to the Empress, Sire! May her needles always be sharp, and her machine threads never tangle.

The news about taxes will be passed to the denizens of the Imperial Oubliette forthwith.

JennieG
Imperial Torturer, Dungeon Choir Wrangler and Overseer of Empiratical Banjo Ensemble
[§] Her mark
(For which I thank Our Most Gracious Emperor Rapparee)

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Oct 23 - 08:30 PM

She sends Her thanks to all who remembered Her on the anniversary of the day of Her birth. She also asked that all benefits mentioned in Our previous communication should be extended for seven more days, and so it will be done.

Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex      ®    His Mark

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: JennieG
Date: 14 Sep 23 - 06:21 PM

That is good to hear.

And, because it is the magic number - 1000 miscreants are currently in *care*!

One thousand!

JennieG
Imperial Torturer, Dungeon Choir Wrangler and Overseer of Empiratical Banjo Ensemble
[§] Her mark
(For which I thank Our Most Gracious Emperor Rapparee)

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: JennieG
Date: 12 Oct 23 - 02:25 AM

Natal felicitations to the Empress, Sire! May her needles always be sharp, and her machine threads never tangle.

The news about taxes will be passed to the denizens of the Imperial Oubliette forthwith.

JennieG
Imperial Torturer, Dungeon Choir Wrangler and Overseer of Empiratical Banjo Ensemble
[§] Her mark
(For which I thank Our Most Gracious Emperor Rapparee)

Subject: Rap for Emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Sep 23 - 07:42 PM

Imperial Torturer: If you are using the Binary numerical system, We find that are but eight (8) utilizing Our services. As We are certain you are aware, that would be 3E8 in hexadecimal.

In either case, you are being rewarded for your outstanding service to Us. Details will follow.

Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex       ®    His mark

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Oct 23 - 09:21 PM

My People! Today was the birthday of Our beloved consort. We shan't tell her age as that might cause her dismay, but We are approved to state that she is younger than the mountains. We had a very nice dejeuner at which some excellent wine was served. Certain louts who couldn't keep their voices down have been dealt with by Our guards and We doubt that they will again do such a thing.

To celebrate this auspicious occasion We have determined that this day shall be tax exempt except for those in the Imperial oubliette, who shall have the taxes they may owe doubled unless it would cause hardship for their immediate family. We are just but merciful.

Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex         ®    His Mark

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Oct 23 - 08:30 PM

She sends Her thanks to all who remembered Her on the anniversary of the day of Her birth. She also asked that all benefits mentioned in Our previous communication should be extended for seven more days, and so it will be done.

Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex      ®    His Mark

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 14 Sep 23 - 03:38 PM

Happy to report that two of the Imperial officers,
gnu and Severn, are around. We have missed them.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: JennieG
Date: 18 Jan 24 - 12:37 AM

Sad news has come to us about the Imperial Game Warden, who has now departed this mortal coil.

May his arrows always be sharp wherever he goes.

JennieG
Imperial Torturer, Dungeon Choir Wrangler and Overseer of Empiratical Banjo Ensemble
[§] Her mark
(For which I thank Our Most Gracious Emperor Rapparee)

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 18 Jan 24 - 01:48 AM

Thank you, JennieG, for bringing back this important part of the Imperial Game Warden's world. Real tears were shed this evening.

Imperial Mudelf {Æ}

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Jan 24 - 10:27 AM

We must, as part of Our duty, inform all of Our subjects of the death of Our Imperial Game Warden. His post will be difficult to fill but We will appoint another in due course.

We knew he was much loved the poachers in Our forests and streams. We know that often miscreants would be overlooked as such was the only occupation for which they was qualified. And Our honor accepted these losses as inevitable. We did on occasion question Our Imperial Game Warden about his own well-stocked larder. We once visited his office as he was butchering what seemed to be a magnificent stag from Our forests but he convinced Us that it was “a mangy old cow that was hit by a wagon hauling rock” to a rock concert. When We questioned the magnificent set of antler he explained that the were “sheds” that the old cow got stuck on her head somehow. When we looked skeptical he gave Us a flagon of excellent mead and while We were chatting about the state of Our lands, coyotes silently took away the carcass of the mangy old cow.

He shall be missed. And We now institute 90 das of mourning, a 21 gun salute to be fired at dawn and sunset each day during the period of mourning (using blank, not live ammunition), the Empire's flags to be flown at one-quarter staff, full breakfasts for all prisoners during te days of mourning, a tomb to be carved from a granite boulder of the greatest height and width, mourning parades ever day during the sacred period, all work to cease whilst we mourn together, a Te Deum to be sung in the cathedral daily in perpetuity, and all children to be well mannered and helpful forever.

These are Our wishes, and so will be carried out exactly by Our subjects.

Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex.            Sealed With Our Tears

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: JennieG
Date: 19 Jan 24 - 12:57 AM

That was beautifully said, Sire. Our Late Imperial Game Warden was a unique one-of-a-kind Warden who was beloved by all, even as he nabbed the odd poacher or two (some of whom were, it must be admitted, extremely odd).

His memory shall be forever enshrined, as per Your kind wishes.

JennieG
Imperial Torturer, Dungeon Choir Wrangler and Overseer of Empiratical Banjo Ensemble
[§] Her mark
(For which I thank Our Most Gracious Emperor Rapparee)

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 19 Jan 24 - 02:45 PM

Truly, the imperial realm will not be the same without its game warden.

Is it not he who has a daughter who is a veterinarian and a dog-lover?
It fits with him having a large dog of his own.

Subject: RE: BS:RIP, as we're emptier
From: Severn
Date: 19 Jan 24 - 10:35 PM

We herd the gnus of our friend's untimely demise, and I feel that scrolling back through this thread will take you back to some of his most witty writing, and is as good a way to remember him as any.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 19 Jan 24 - 10:59 PM

I know nothing of a veterinarian daughter - is this a well-kept secret or a mis-remembered detail?

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 21 Jan 24 - 02:26 PM

A mis-remembered detail, no doubt; I apologize.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Donuel
Date: 21 Jan 24 - 03:49 PM

Maybe he had a vegetarian otter, not a veterinarian daughter. Gnu was mostly before my time. Past posts are appreciated.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 23 Jan 24 - 07:01 PM

I wonder whatever has become of frogprince,
the once and future Minister of de Fence . . .

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Jan 24 - 09:24 PM

He has been straddling Our fence for too long. We should do something about it. We await suggestions.

Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex          ®       His Mark